S08.E02: Smitten Kitten and a Tiny Boo-Boo Error

[jewel21]

Bonnie and Adam regret spending their first wedding anniversary with Marjorie and her new boyfriend; Jill's attempt at a good deed becomes a moral dilemma.

Airdate: 11/12/2020

[AnimeMania]

I didn't find a lot in the first two episodes of this season of Mom funny. I think they are avoiding the silly story lines which is usually where the ladies shine. I did enjoy Jill's shopping spree and Tammy's silly scene at the underprivileged girl's charity. There seems to be a lot of life shaming going on in these two episodes, you would think the ladies would be more comfortable with each other's life choices by now. 

[Harvey]

This was not their strongest episode. It's not the ladies's fault though, it's because of the new boyfriend. He is really annoying to watch. I hope he won't appear in many episodes. 

The joke about Bonnie betting against herself so she would have 100$ to start her new life with was funny though. 😄

[theatremouse]

I get that they were trying to humanize the dude with the speech at the end, or at least show why Marjorie might have ever liked him in the first place, but it didn't work for me. Dude's a jerk. Oh, he's a jerk who had some rough stuff happen to him personally? Still a jerk. Not an excuse. Not even a reason. They tried to make it seem like Mr. Incapable of Introspection is actually capable of it, but for me it had the opposite effect. He thinks because he tackled this one thing in his life, he is therefore right about all the things. He's insufferable and I know we were supposed to find him insufferable for 98% of the episode, but I can't stand to watch that.

[Blakeston]

This was a strange one. Seeing Marjorie gush over that guy while he berated everyone around him (and seeing her try to pass off his behavior as cute) reminded me of how a lot of people act when they're in abusive relationships.

And it seemed like the writers were trying to give him a pass, too, by saying, "Yeah, he treats everyone like garbage, but he also said something nice, so now it makes sense for Marjorie to put up with him."

Marjorie's never had the greatest taste in men - Victor seemed like a profoundly unpleasant person, too. But this was different. She, of all people, should be able to recognize straight-up toxic behavior.

They might be headed toward an episode where Marjorie realizes that she deserves better, and that she was so desperate for love that she ignored red flag after red flag. If not, this whole plotline was a bad idea.

[ctlady]

51 minutes ago, Blakeston said:

This was a strange one. Seeing Marjorie gush over that guy while he berated everyone around him (and seeing her try to pass off his behavior as cute) reminded me of how a lot of people act when they're in abusive relationships.

And how is this guy's behavior any different from how the girls have used Wendy as a verbal punching bag over the years?

[Blakeston]

38 minutes ago, ctlady said:

And how is this guy's behavior any different from how the girls have used Wendy as a verbal punching bag over the years?

That's another entry in the list of things I find strange about this show.

As much as I dislike the way the other women in the group dismiss Wendy, Marjorie's boyfriend's behavior seemed darker than that. The way he demanded that someone else's food be sent back at the restaurant showed that he has some huge control issues, in addition to his need to put everyone down.

[ctlady]

47 minutes ago, Blakeston said:

The way he demanded that someone else's food be sent back at the restaurant showed that he has some huge control issues, in addition to his need to put everyone down.

I remember being absolutely irked when Bonnie went up to a woman in the booth and removed her red scarf saying "that's a terrible look on you" because she didn't want Adam to mistake Bonnie (who told him she'd be wearing a red scarf) for the other woman on their blind date.  I was beyond appalled and absolutely no one in real life would go up to a stranger, invade their personal space and remove articles of clothing like that.

[Sarah 103]

I really liked Jill's subplot with the charity. It shows that the other women of the group are having a positive impact on her. I wonder if Tammy will spend time volunteering at the charity for girls. 

Marjorie's boyfriend was a total jerk, and the fact that he was in recovery does not change the fact that he was a total jerk. I hope eventually Marjorie realizes how awful he is and dumps him. 

[bad things are bad]

I did like Jill finally seeing her stuff just as stuff (but I thought she'd had that epiphany previously). She bought the purse, though, despite realizing she really didn't want it like she would have before. 

But she's supposed to be fabulously wealthy; $50K should have been couch change for her. It wasn't believable that it would have stressed her so much. 

[SmithW6079]

4 hours ago, theatremouse said:

I get that they were trying to humanize the dude with the speech at the end, or at least show why Marjorie might have ever liked him in the first place, but it didn't work for me. Dude's a jerk. Oh, he's a jerk who had some rough stuff happen to him personally? Still a jerk. Not an excuse. Not even a reason. They tried to make it seem like Mr. Incapable of Introspection is actually capable of it, but for me it had the opposite effect. He thinks because he tackled this one thing in his life, he is therefore right about all the things. He's insufferable and I know we were supposed to find him insufferable for 98% of the episode, but I can't stand to watch that.

I work with disabled veterans, and I'll always remember one thing one of them told me -- don't put veterans on a pedestal, because the guy who was an asshole before he joined the military is still probably an asshole. Chances are, being wounded and becoming disabled most likely didn't change him.

 

12 hours ago, AnimeMania said:

There seems to be a lot of life shaming going on in these two episodes, you would think the ladies would be more comfortable with each other's life choices by now. 

If showing up rich, useless parasites for being rich, useless parasites, I'm all for it. Jill was obviously planning to spend several thousand dollars shopping. While I can see not wanting to make a $50,000 donation, her insistence on just making a $500 donation was kind of a dick move. Even a $5,000 donation would not have had a serious impact on her life. And it's not like she earned the money herself because she developed a product or a business service and got wealthy that way. She's a trust fund baby who has no concept of the real world.

 

[Guest]

2 minutes ago, bad things are bad said:

But she's supposed to be fabulously wealthy; $50K should have been couch change for her. It wasn't believable that it would have stressed her so much. 

I think that was the point. The rich person’s version of slacktivism versus genuinely supporting causes. Jill donates what is chump change for her to make herself feel like she’s doing a good thing without really getting involved. It was a completely selfish act and seeing the charity through Tammy’s eyes made her face reality. 

[AnimeMania]

53 minutes ago, SmithW6079 said:

13 hours ago, AnimeMania said:

There seems to be a lot of life shaming going on in these two episodes, you would think the ladies would be more comfortable with each other's life choices by now. 

If showing up rich, useless parasites for being rich, useless parasites, I'm all for it. Jill was obviously planning to spend several thousand dollars shopping. While I can see not wanting to make a $50,000 donation, her insistence on just making a $500 donation was kind of a dick move. Even a $5,000 donation would not have had a serious impact on her life. And it's not like she earned the money herself because she developed a product or a business service and got wealthy that way. She's a trust fund baby who has no concept of the real world.

I have no problem with what Jill did and I thought Tammy was extremely rude to call her out on it, especially since Tammy went begging to Jill to buy her a van in a recent episode. She picked a local charity and did the research into the organization and believed in the cause. If Jill had told Tammy that that was the money she had set aside to buy Tammy a van or it could go to the charity, I wonder which one Tammy would have chosen.

The fact that Jill did it in a hurry, was under duress from talking to Marjorie's new boyfriend and missed putting in a decimal point, shouldn't invalidate her good deed. If this would have happened while she was paying her electric bill, nobody would say that she would be wrong in wanting her money back. How much money she has shouldn't affect our view of Jill as a person, sure everybody could do more, but I am not upset if she chooses not to. A lot of people only give to charity to get a tax break.

[Blakeston]

I was pleasantly surprised that the charity employee was reasonable when Jill showed up and asked for her money back. I was fully expecting her to lay a huge guilt trip on Jill, and/or flat-out refuse.

[Guest]

10 minutes ago, AnimeMania said:

I have no problem with what Jill did and I thought Tammy was extremely rude to call her out on it, especially since Tammy went begging to Jill to buy her a van in a recent episode.

I thought the Tammy was truly just teasing Jill. It was rude but not out of line with the groups dynamic. 

12 minutes ago, AnimeMania said:

She picked a local charity and did the research into the organization and believed in the cause. 

Did I interpret that scene in completely the wrong way? I thought they were saying the exact opposite. That Jill saw an Instagram ad and decided to donate without doing any research. 

5 minutes ago, Blakeston said:

I was pleasantly surprised that the charity employee was reasonable when Jill showed up and asked for her money back. I was fully expecting her to lay a huge guilt trip on Jill, and/or flat-out refuse.

I agree. I was very happy that she was obviously disappointed but didn’t hesitate and tried to put a positive spin on it. 

[iMonrey]

Since Jill made the donation online I assume it was charged to her credit card or some other online account. All she would have to do is contact the bank and have the charge nullified, she wouldn't actually need to go to the charity itself asking for a refund.

I'm starting to sense something missing here that I didn't feel last week with Christy's absence. There's no solid B plot going on with Christy, and there were usually either separate A and B plots for Bonnie and Christy and then a C plot for some other character, or an A plot with Bonnie and Christy together and a B plot for someone else. In any case, this episode just felt like something was missing.

[Guest]

28 minutes ago, iMonrey said:

Since Jill made the donation online I assume it was charged to her credit card or some other online account. All she would have to do is contact the bank and have the charge nullified, she wouldn't actually need to go to the charity itself asking for a refund.

Unless it’s a charge you didn’t make it’s really not that simple. You have to explain why you shouldn’t have been charged and they want to you try and get a refund directly first. Banks and credit companies really do not like charge backs because there is not guarantee they will get the money back. 

[sugarbaker design]

I think the point of the scene at the meeting where Marjorie's boyfriend was telling his story was to illuminate Bonnie what Marjorie saw in him.  Sure he was an asshole, but after hearing his story Bonnie understood what Marjorie sees in that asshole.  The actor who played the asshole played Ben on Veep for years, he can actually be quite funny.

[TVMovieBuff]

The funniest thing happened to me at the supermarket. I was in the self-checkout lane and was ready to finish. I got a small screen asking if I wanted to donate to Children's Camp for Hunger (I didn't really read what it was, I suppose it trains kids to participate in the Hunger Games). I was going to tap NO, but somehow my finger grazed the $3 button, the largest option for donation. It charged me the $3.

By reflex I looked for the Back button to cancel out the donation, but then last night's Mom episode boinged into my head, and I thought no, I am going to leave it as is. I'll make the $3 donation. So the same thing happened to me & to Jill! 

[AnimeMania]

1 minute ago, TVMovieBuff said:

The funniest thing happened to me at the supermarket. I was in the self-checkout lane and was ready to finish. I got a small screen asking if I wanted to donate to Children's Camp for Hunger (I didn't really read what it was, I suppose it trains kids to participate in the Hunger Games). I was going to tap NO, but somehow my finger grazed the $3 button, the largest option for donation. It charged me the $3.

By reflex I looked for the Back button to cancel out the donation, but then last night's Mom episode boinged into my head, and I thought no, I am going to leave it as is. I'll make the $3 donation. So the same thing happened to me & to Jill! 

And the next day 300 hungry kids showed at my house looking for a meal and a place to live, little did I realize I signed up to become the local branch of Children's Camp for Hunger.

[Irlandesa]

38 minutes ago, sugarbaker design said:

I think the point of the scene at the meeting where Marjorie's boyfriend was telling his story was to illuminate Bonnie what Marjorie saw in him.  Sure he was an asshole, but after hearing his story Bonnie understood what Marjorie sees in that asshole.  The actor who played the asshole played Ben on Veep for years, he can actually be quite funny.

I agree.  I think it was just meant to explain why she connected with him, especially since she probably identified with his desire to choose alcohol over his family.  She probably sees him as a good guy, though, because that was ultimately what led him to sobriety whereas she still struggled for a while before she reached the same decision. 

The fact that it happened at the end of the episode did make it feel a little like they were trying to excuse him even though I don't think that was fully the intent.

But wooboy, I'll give this episode points for being real.  It's that horrible moment when you realize your friend is dating an asshole or a sexist or a racist or all three but  know telling your friend that won't end well.  If they can't see how obvious it is by their behavior, they're more likely just going to ignore you when you mention it.

2 hours ago, Dani said:

Did I interpret that scene in completely the wrong way? I thought they were saying the exact opposite. That Jill saw an Instagram ad and decided to donate without doing any research.

That was the impression I got.  I think the 500.00 for Jill was like adding that dollar or two that is added to the charity can on the counter or to your bill or the "round up to the next dollar" option stores have.  It's not that she can't afford $50,000 as a charity donation but she probably would be more deliberate about who gets that kind of money from her. 

I am surprised she tried to get it back, though.  It's a bit gauche and I wouldn't think she'd want the embarrassment.  I'm happy the story was about her examining the value of her money rather than the charity person being a pill.

[ams1001]

2 hours ago, Irlandesa said:

I am surprised she tried to get it back, though.  It's a bit gauche and I wouldn't think she'd want the embarrassment.  I'm happy the story was about her examining the value of her money rather than the charity person being a pill.

I'd think the charity people would recognize that for most people, that kind of mistake would be a huge deal. They wouldn't know Jill has way more money than most people. 

[nodorothyparker]

This one felt like kind of a miss. I get that Marjorie has just had a health scare that's made her introspective about time possibly being short and willing to jump right in with this guy, but she's still usually written as being more astute about people than that. Here, she couldn't see that her new guy is a lot to take OR that her circle of friends she knows very well were seriously not liking him. Sure, the ending speech that made him come across as more human and provided some insight into what Marjorie maybe sees in him was nicely done, but felt almost too little too late. He's still going to be the guy annoyingly micromanaging mundane stuff in near strangers' lives afterward.

Jill's story worked a little better because it was her coming to the realization mostly on her own that more things don't really make her happy, a point the show's been hitting with her off and on over the last couple of seasons. Tammy did give her a bit of a nudge in the way that good friends can, but the show resisted the urge for her or anyone else to really push her on it and the charity woman thankfully didn't either. She has no way of knowing how much money Jill has, and even if she did it is Jill's money to do what she pleases with. It just took buying what was, I'm sorry, a really gaudy purse for her to understand that having it didn't please her as much as doing some actual good with the money. That's real growth.

Bonnie's lack of bangs is still distractingly awful.

[possibilities]

I think they hinted that Marjorie's boy friend is good in bed, when Tammy talked about how he doesn't shush her during sex. That plus the comfort level she feels with him because of his sobriety story, I think combined to make her a bit delusional. And she is feeling very mortal, and probably feels like she said she feels, which is that life is short, she can't keep putting things off, this may be her best shot at some fun (it's a sure thing, vs waiting to find someone else), etc. I have seen much younger people make delusional choices in lovers, based on one point of comfort and some kind of sexual spark plus low self-esteem. Marjorie seems like she's got things together because she's been sober way longer than the other women, but she's also still got a lot of hurt and damage, as shown in last season's stuff about her son and her grandchild. I can believe she might go on a bit of a relationship  bender, but I don't think it will las long, because the dude is really awful and there's only so long her friends will watch her be degraded. I was actually really impressed that Bonnie understood that she had to be nice to him, and didn't just blow the whole thing up immediately. I also thought that the guy being so single and available was because he's such an annoying jerk, and that made me sad for Marjorie. I would consider Marjorie quite a catch, especially compared to the boorish guy she attached herself to. But it can be hard to find someone, and lots of people make choices that look utterly insane to an on-looker, when they're lonely and/or scared.

I thought Jill made the initial donation to give herself a way to shut out the boyfriend. He was annoying her and she made the donation so that she could tune him our and ignore him, knowing that when she got called out for being rude, she had "I'm giving to charity!" as a cover that would insulate her from the criticism and redirect the conversation. 

 

[Guest]

18 hours ago, nodorothyparker said:

This one felt like kind of a miss. I get that Marjorie has just had a health scare that's made her introspective about time possibly being short and willing to jump right in with this guy, but she's still usually written as being more astute about people than that. Here, she couldn't see that her new guy is a lot to take OR that her circle of friends she knows very well were seriously not liking him. Sure, the ending speech that made him come across as more human and provided some insight into what Marjorie maybe sees in him was nicely done, but felt almost too little too late. He's still going to be the guy annoyingly micromanaging mundane stuff in near strangers' lives afterward.

Unfortunately being astute about other people does not always transfer into your own life. I don’t know if the show would go there but it would be realistic for Marjorie to be looked for someone to take care of her. She barely employed, barely hanging on to her house and just had a health scare. That would be a terrifying place to be. I could easily see her thinking that anyone was better than no one. 

Edited November 14, 2020 by Guest

[bichonblitz]

17 hours ago, Dani said:

I thought the Tammy was truly just teasing Jill. It was rude but not out of line with the groups dynamic. 

I thought so, too. I like the way the group handles Jill's wealth. They keep her grounded when she gets too haughty. Heck, even Jill makes fun of her wealth and knows she can be ridiculous at times about it which makes her endearing to me. It's difficult to play a rich snotty bitch but still so likeable and this actress does a great job at it.  

Speaking of Jill, where is her boyfriend? We need to see more of him. 

Bonnie and Adam talking about dinner with Marjorie and her boyfriend on the way home in the car was funny. That's something me and my husband would do after spending an evening with insufferable people. 

[geauxaway]

The “traffic light, traffic light, not a robot” line from Jill had me rolling.  I had literally had the exact same “challenge” minutes before she said it.  Those things are SO annoying 🤣

[iMonrey]

Quote

Unless it’s a charge you didn’t make it’s really not that simple. You have to explain why you shouldn’t have been charged and they want to you try and get a refund directly first. Banks and credit companies really do not like charge backs because there is not guarantee they will get the money back. 

Not to get too off-topic, but Discover is really good about correcting disputed charges. I would think (or at least hope) the kind of mistake Jill made was fairly common for online donations and that she should be able to contact her account manager and correct the obvious error.

 

Quote

This one felt like kind of a miss. I get that Marjorie has just had a health scare that's made her introspective about time possibly being short and willing to jump right in with this guy, but she's still usually written as being more astute about people than that.

You'd be amazed how many smart, capable women I know who turn stupid when it comes to guys.

[Guest]

1 hour ago, iMonrey said:

Not to get too off-topic, but Discover is really good about correcting disputed charges. I would think (or at least hope) the kind of mistake Jill made was fairly common for online donations and that she should be able to contact her account manager and correct the obvious error.

It really depends if the money has already been transferred. I handle online donations for a charity and it is usually immediate. If a donor tries a chargeback it would take time to get it worked out and cost the charity additional money as a chargeback fee. For small amount it’s usually not an issue but for $49,500 I would be very surprised if anyone would process a chargeback without an investigation. Generally it would be quicker and easier to contact the charity first. 

This is really off-topic but never donate through Facebook. Facebook will do nothing to help if there is a problem and there is very little the charity can do because of how the money is paid. 

[nodorothyparker]

3 hours ago, iMonrey said:

You'd be amazed how many smart, capable women I know who turn stupid when it comes to guys.

Oh, I know. She's also in the age group where available women really begin to vastly outnumber available men and the pickings only get slimmer as you get older. So it did make sense on that front that she might be willing to overlook certain quirks. It just felt weird that no one was acknowledging that might be what was going on. The show is usually pretty good at letting us know that the characters are aware and self-aware enough to see what's going on beyond surface motivations.

[Blakeston]

Tammy indicated that Marjorie's other guy Wayne was still in the picture. I don't really remember him, but he had to be a huge step up from Gary.

If the writers want us to think that Marjorie is completely desperate for romantic attention, it's strange that they'd remind us that she's still seeing Wayne.

[ams1001]

16 minutes ago, Blakeston said:

Tammy indicated that Marjorie's other guy Wayne was still in the picture. I don't really remember him, but he had to be a huge step up from Gary.

If the writers want us to think that Marjorie is completely desperate for romantic attention, it's strange that they'd remind us that she's still seeing Wayne.

He was played by Peter Onorati; I liked him, hope he comes back. He also plays Jack's father in This Is Us, so I wonder if he wasn't available because of that (he's been in both episodes this season, though only a few scenes). The fact that they mentioned him at least suggests he might show up again.

[Guest]

11 minutes ago, Blakeston said:

Tammy indicated that Marjorie's other guy Wayne was still in the picture. I don't really remember him, but he had to be a huge step up from Gary.

If the writers want us to think that Marjorie is completely desperate for romantic attention, it's strange that they'd remind us that she's still seeing Wayne.

All I clearly remember from the Wayne episode is Christy in the velour tracksuit but I think he lives in Canada. Gary lives in Chicago. Two long distance relationships says lonely to me. 

[eel21788]

On 11/13/2020 at 7:50 AM, Blakeston said:

They might be headed toward an episode where Marjorie realizes that she deserves better, and that she was so desperate for love that she ignored red flag after red flag. If not, this whole plotline was a bad idea.

I think that is exactly where they are going with this. Margorie is going to end up in an abusive relationship, and the rest of the cast is going to have to do an intervention to get her away from him.

[eel21788]

5 hours ago, Dani said:

This is really off-topic but never donate through Facebook. Facebook will do nothing to help if there is a problem and there is very little the charity can do because of how the money is paid. 

I could also start my own tirade about GoConMe, but I won't.

[Fostersmom]

14 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

Speaking of Jill, where is her boyfriend? We need to see more of him. 

Will Sasso got the lead in a new sitcom, which was honestly one of the worst shows I've seen in a long time. I'm pretty certain it got cancelled already, so hopefully they will bring him back. 

12 hours ago, geauxaway said:

The “traffic light, traffic light, not a robot” line from Jill had me rolling.  I had literally had the exact same “challenge” minutes before she said it.  Those things are SO annoying 🤣

I got the same traffic light, not a robot thing today too. Those things are the worst. The first time I saw one I literally said out loud to no one, What fresh hell is this? 

This episode made me realize I don't miss Christy at all. 

[kwnyc]

Late to the game but: 1) Marjorie's new BF is definitely an asshole, and needs to work on the OTHER parts himself other than just "not drinking"; 2) I'm glad Jill is evolving into someone who realizes that her money can do more than buy fancy purses. And Tammy has a way of calling things out that isn't ugly. (And I think she turned down Jill's offer to buy a van for her, right?); Victor will always be remembered for calling Christy "Crusty," and I think Marjorie was quite happy with him, which is perhaps one of the reasons why she wants to get back into a relationship, even with a jerk. 

[MissLucas]

On 11/14/2020 at 4:34 PM, geauxaway said:

The “traffic light, traffic light, not a robot” line from Jill had me rolling.  I had literally had the exact same “challenge” minutes before she said it.  Those things are SO annoying 🤣

I dunno, I find them oddly reassuring, as long fire hydrants still mystify Skynet, we should be safe.

And as shallow as it sounds but I hated that Jill was wearing that lavender wanna-be Kelly bag with a red blouse! I would like her plot more had we not seen similar ones before where it looked like she's about to change and find real purpose beyond spending money to make her feel good (I remember at least two). Marjorie not realizing what a jerk her boyfriend is was hard to take. I know love makes blind but still felt a bit OOC. 

[possibilities]

I wonder who Marjorie's boyfriend's sponsor is, or if he even has one. That is who should do the intervention with him.

[Guest]

I went into work this morning to find an email from someone who added too many zeros to a donation and immediately thought of this episode. What we lost in fees made me realize Jill’s mistake could have cost the charity more than her actual donation. 

On 11/14/2020 at 7:34 AM, geauxaway said:

The “traffic light, traffic light, not a robot” line from Jill had me rolling.  I had literally had the exact same “challenge” minutes before she said it.  Those things are SO annoying 🤣

I also discovered that we really need to add this annoying “not a robot” challenge. It’s mind boggling how many fraud attempts a bot can make. At least this episode allowed me to find some humor in a really shitty day.