MAFS Social Media, Spoilers & Speculation

[suzeecat]

I would love to see a "reunion" with couples from all seasons together, or individuals from S1/S2 meeting with S3 participants.  I don't know if they interact off-show (I know Season 1 alumni get together) but it seems that they could get advice and insight from those unique few who have actually been through it before. 

[Lion18]

Remember Dr C said in an interview that Sean is doing very well and recently got a promotion

[Liberty]

Remember Dr C said in an interview that Sean is doing very well and recently got a promotion

 

I do remember, however if Cilona is not engaged on a regular basis with the characters, and only sees the episodes as they are broadcast, how could he possibly know?  Wouldn't it be a spoiler for Cilona to reveal what has happened to the characters before it aired?

Edited May 28, 2015 by Liberty

[JapMo]

 

http://www.aetv.com/married-at-first-sight/video/sneak-peek-last-chance-for-romance

 

Sneak peek of the next episode

 

Wow...Davina looks like she's majorly shutting down after Sean's announcement that he doesn't want to live in Manhattan.

[Wings]

 

 

Wow...Davina looks like she's majorly shutting down after Sean's announcement that he doesn't want to live in Manhattan.

 

 

Her anger would be more appropriately directed toward the experts.  On her application she specifically stated that she wanted to stay in Manhattan and would not relocate. 

[Liberty]

Pretty interesting.

 

Sean is saying 'I will leave my wife for a promotion'.

 

Davina 'I will give up my husband for the UES'.

 

So all the BS reasons they gave for joining the experiment all comes down to finding the right job or right home, not the right person.

Edited May 28, 2015 by Liberty

[CindyBee]

Her anger would be more appropriately directed toward the experts.  On her application she specifically stated that she wanted to stay in Manhattan and would not relocate. 

 

I totally agree that Davina should really be mad at the experts and producers as they were the ones that put a guy from the middle of New Jersey with a girl that said she would only stay in Manhattan.    

[mamey2422]

I totally agree that Davina should really be mad at the experts and producers as they were the ones that put a guy from the middle of New Jersey with a girl that said she would only stay in Manhattan.

Except Sean told the experts that he WAS willing to relocate. So, I don't blame the experts. I understand that he didn't anticipate/expect that moving would be so difficult for him but he said one hint and did another. I would be frustrated if I were Davina too.

Jaclyn and Ryan are an interesting contrast in this regard because they both said they were not willing to relocate yet both moved to a more geographically neutral location and Jaclyn in the last episode even said she would consider moving to Long Island. There seems to be a substance to Jaclyn and Ryan's relationship while Davina and Sean are all superficial therapy-speak.

Has anyone noticed Sean's terribly annoying habit of narrating their life when speaking directly to Davina? He's always outlining what they are going to do. "So, we're going to go away this weekend and have a good time and relax." Like instead of DESCRIBING what you should be doing JUST DO IT. That is like the core of their problems.

Edited May 29, 2015 by mamey2422

[biakbiak]

Saying you are willing to relocate and being assigned a partner who wouldn't consider leaving the UES for at least a few years are two different things. Basically they shouldnt have assigned Sabina someone who didn't already live at least in Manhattan. Particularly with his job the experts should have known such a commute would be a huge issue and the fact that he never spent more than a few hours in NYC should have also been a red flag.

[Snarklepuss]

Pretty interesting.

 

Sean is saying 'I will leave my wife for a promotion'.

 

Davina 'I will give up my husband for the UES'.

 

So all the BS reasons they gave for joining the experiment all comes down to finding the right job or right home, not the right person.

 

I don't know about that.  I think that if they had really found the right person in each other they would both be talking about compromise, not finding reasons to stick with their own separate plans.  A few weeks ago Davina said something on screen about wanting to move to the suburbs to have kids sometime in the future or something to that effect.  So she is not as rigid as she seems about New York for the long term.  A promotion like Sean's could be a big deal.  I've known married couples to live separately for long periods of time because of stuff like that and get together only on weekends.  In fact my own boss is doing that right now.  If they really had hit it off they would work it out, but the sad truth about Sean and Davina is that they are no match at all.

Edited May 29, 2015 by Snarklepuss

[qtpye]

I think Dr. C said Sean got a big promotion and was in charge of 100 people.  Then posters who claim to be coworkers of Sean said that it was a lie and there are not even close to 100 people working in the ER.  I do not know what to believe at this point.

[zxy556575]

I do not know what to believe at this point.

 

My default is: "The opposite of whatever Cilona says."

[crazychicken]

My default is: "The opposite of whatever Cilona says."

That is my default position too, he contridicts himself so much.

One minute his instruments are so good they weed out liars, the next he can't help that the participants self reporting means he gets duped as he has to beleive them. The experts always take deal breakers into account, yet both Ryan R & Jaclyn said they could not move far from their homes due to work/family commitments and yet both end up with a big commute when questioned he said the experts do not consult maps when making matches. Sean is so awesome and the best person in the world and he does not understand why the public can't see it. The experts knew Ryan D had anger issues before matching him yet are surprised that he reacts badly, they also knew Jess has a problem with speaking up and yet are surprised that she won't speak up when she faced with an aggressive angry man. Yeah Cilona can go chew grass as far as his 'expert' opinions go, I most be missing something as both Jamie & Ryan D were magically cured of their crap personalities and they were suddenly treating their victims better after a few hours in his presence just in time for the big decision.

[Snarklepuss]

I think Dr. C said Sean got a big promotion and was in charge of 100 people.  Then posters who claim to be coworkers of Sean said that it was a lie and there are not even close to 100 people working in the ER.  I do not know what to believe at this point.

 

Neither do I, although I find it hard to believe that Cilona would still be defending Sean to the ends of the earth online to this day if he had found out that was a lie, and I can't believe he wouldn't know that by now.  Then again I am so suspicious of Cilona at this point that I don't even know if I can believe that!

[MissScarlett]

Is Dr. C. very vigilant in finding the truth though?  Of course he would take Sean's word for it.  I don't think he feels he has any reason not to.  I happen to believe the spoilers on the other board, re: Sean and his so-called promotion.  

 

I think it's very possible that he made up this promotion thing as an excuse to further his fuel of saying "yes" to divorce and "no" to being married.  He strikes me as the kind of guy who avoids confrontation at all costs and will throw in lies when it suits him.  Better to lie to get out of things than to be upfront and face possible conflict and confrontation.  It's a defense mechanism clearly learned from being bullied.

[moonxyz]

^^^^^

The promotion is bullshit in my opinion. It is a part of a well crafted exit strategy, just like constant apologies and "owning" his shortcomings at every opportunity he gets. He is a manipulative psychopath. Davina is a bitch, much more palatable in my opinion.

Edited May 29, 2015 by moonxyz

[Wings]

Is Dr. C. very vigilant in finding the truth though?  Of course he would take Sean's word for it.  I don't think he feels he has any reason not to.  I happen to believe the spoilers on the other board, re: Sean and his so-called promotion.  

 

I think it's very possible that he made up this promotion thing as an excuse to further his fuel of saying "yes" to divorce and "no" to being married.  He strikes me as the kind of guy who avoids confrontation at all costs and will throw in lies when it suits him.  Better to lie to get out of things than to be upfront and face possible conflict and confrontation.  It's a defense mechanism clearly learned from being bullied.

 

 

 

 

I believe his co worker, too.  Message boards and SM in general are viewed as full of haters and lies by TV show production.  I doubt that Dr C would look or care about anything said.  

Edited May 29, 2015 by wings707

[CindyBee]

Except Sean told the experts that he WAS willing to relocate. So, I don't blame the experts. I understand that he didn't anticipate/expect that moving would be so difficult for him but he said one hint and did another. I would be frustrated if I were Davina too.

Jaclyn and Ryan are an interesting contrast in this regard because they both said they were not willing to relocate yet both moved to a more geographically neutral location and Jaclyn in the last episode even said she would consider moving to Long Island. There seems to be a substance to Jaclyn and Ryan's relationship while Davina and Sean are all superficial therapy-speak.

 

 

 

Taking Sean's word that he would relocate was very short sighted of the experts/producers IMHO as I wonder did they even follow up with him on just where he would relocate to--northern New Jersey, Long Island, the moon, etc?     I find the Upper East side to be such an unique living situation that matching Davina with anyone outside of Manhattan was a huge risk.  Remember, the stockbroker was the first guy they talked about for her but was nixed by Dr. Logan.   Once they ruled him out and no other Manhattan guys were a "match" they should have pulled Davina. 

 

As much as I love Jaclyn, I'm not sure that her saying she'd move to Long Island is real.   From social media it seems like she is still very much in New Jersey so if they are still together, her moving out there doesn't seem to have taken place.   I guess if she does move it would come at the six month anniversary as I think that's the time Jamie moved out to New Jersey. 

[Bella]

I still suspect that Jaclyn and Ryan are spending weekends together. 

 

And Sean is living proof of Dr. C's naivete.

[SaucyMommy]

when Dr. Pepper showed up and looked in their fridges and around the house, it was clear to me that none of them actually live together when filming isn't going on.

[CindyBee]

I still suspect that Jaclyn and Ryan are spending weekends together. 

 

 

 

I too think that Jaclyn & Ryan are living apart but are spending time together when they can.   Any long term future will require a move but right now I can see this partial living arrangement working as they are still in the early stages of a relationship.

 

Oh if we ever get the Australia thread going I've got LOTS to say about those four couples as I watched the first two episodes the other day online.

[MissScarlett]

when Dr. Pepper showed up and looked in their fridges and around the house, it was clear to me that none of them actually live together when filming isn't going on.

 

Either that or nobody cooks and they eat out a lot.

[BunnySlippers]

I still suspect that Jaclyn and Ryan are spending weekends together. 

 

And Sean is living proof of Dr. C's naivete.

 

That would explain why Jaclyn is living out of her suitcase, as she said to Dr. Pepper.

[Snarklepuss]

I find it very suspect that Sean's LinkedIn Page has either been erased or is just a stub with no connections and no job description.  Meanwhile all the others have public profiles.  This lends credence to the suspicions about him being a liar:

 

https://www.linkedin.com/pub/sean-varricchio/82/b33/2

 

By the way, Jessica's LinkedIn page is interesting but speaking as an Executive Assistant in a Fortune 100 company, I can smell B.S. when I read it concerning her skills and experience, which look totally aggrandized -  "Vast" receptionist experience?  WTF?  This is her first first admin. job, LOL.  Plus the use of the word, "like" seems inappropriate.  Then again I'm picky because I used to do résumés with my mom as a side job.  The law firm she works at is relatively small and located in the Empire State Bldg.  I think that's pretty much what I would have expected for her.  Not a bad little firm but not a big famous one either.

 

https://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=182383120&authType=name&authToken=3s55&trk=prof-sb-browse_map-name

[Snarklepuss]

Speaking of promotions, it looks like Ryan D. got a great new position in Business Development with T-Mobile in February:

 

https://www.linkedin.com/profile/view?id=115509062&authType=name&authToken=e4U7&trk=prof-sb-browse_map-name

[qtpye]

I find it very suspect that Sean's LinkedIn Page has either been erased or is just a stub with no connections and no job description.  Meanwhile all the others have public profiles.  This lends credence to the suspicions about him being a liar:

 

 

This is very suspicious as people now a days update their Linkedin page immediately after a big promotion.

 

As for Sean being a supposed player...is he not in a profession where the women far outnumber the men?  I imagine he has no problem with casual hook ups with coworkers and since he is one of the few single male nurses, the numbers are in his favor, despite his weird personality.

 

There were also rumors of Sean pretending to be a doctor.  I, of course, do not know the reliability of the posters who gave out this information, but I would not have a hard time believing that Sean is a pathological liar.

Edited May 29, 2015 by qtpye

[zxy556575]

Oh if we ever get the Australia thread going I've got LOTS to say about those four couples as I watched the first two episodes the other day online.

 

Where are they available online to watch?

[Bella]

Once this season is over, we'll give the mods a couple or three weeks off*, then see about setting up something for watching other versions. It could be fun.

*Aethera and I are co-leads here but have also been working hard on the 19 Kids forum. It's been exhausting.

[crazychicken]

Where are they available online to watch?

 

You can try http://ontv.to/show/married-at-first-sight-australia

[butterbean1]

Alls I gotta say -© countess Luann- is that this "friend" is unhinged. Who calls a woman a "female"? What a pig.

Um....what?  A lot of people refer to women as "female", because that is what they are.  How does that make him unhinged and a pig?

[molshoop]

 

Where are they available online to watch?

 

 The first two episodes combined are on YouTube.

 

And also here: Watch Married at First Sight AU s01e01-02 WebRip x264-Hector watchseries-online

[lilacgirl]

You can try http://ontv.to/show/married-at-first-sight-australia

 

TY for the link. This version is good.

[Happenings12]

^^^^^

The promotion is bullshit in my opinion. It is a part of a well crafted exit strategy, just like constant apologies and "owning" his shortcomings at every opportunity he gets. He is a manipulative psychopath. Davina is a bitch, much more palatable in my opinion.

 

Not to single you out but what's the reason for hating/distrusting him as much as some on the internet do? No one here knows him and yet he's accused of lying about his job and promotion (Which he didn't even tell us about to begin with. Dr. C did), he's being called things like a womanizer/liar/psychopath. Some of you act like Sean spends his free time perfecting liquid kryptonite so he can kill Superman. Everyone is so sure they got this guy pegged cause some "coworker" on another board "exposed him" but conveniently forget that coworker ran off never to be seen again the second people started questioning the story. Yet they still get all the trust and Sean is automatically the psychopath/womanizer/celebrity wannabe. Why? Cause he talks funny? I really don't get the reaction he evokes.

 

I'll will say one thing for Sean though, he brings out the crazy in whoever knows/speaks of him. I thought Davina was in need of that midnight train to therapy-ville until I read some of his detractors online. Get in line kiddo. And the sad thing is the only proof they provide is their feelings. Not what they've seen on the show or via SM with their own eyes, just a general feeling they get. So, what if your feelings are wrong? How are you gonna feel then if Sean isn't this devil incarnate? I've always judged people by what I see and heard FROM THEM, not on hearsay. Judging a book by its cover never works out well IMO. While Sean may be off, he's a far cry from some manipulative psycho yet to hear some tell it you'd think he was this evil master mind who's been playing Davina since the honeymoon. What am I missing here? Am I the crazy one? I feel like I'm living in an alternate universe or something.

 

It's dehumanizing (used to describe all living things of the female sex), it reduces a woman to her genitalia (I'd like men to think that I'm more than just tits and a vagina), it's transphobic, it's not exactly used as a term of affection when used to refer to a woman, and the word "woman" exists. Respectfully, YMMV.

 

Wow. Didn't know this. I've used the word "female" plenty in the past though not to dehumanize anyone. Thanks for the this. I never even thought about someone taking the word that way before. Lesson learned.

Edited May 31, 2015 by Happenings12

[MissScarlett]

Some of you act like Sean spends his free time perfecting liquid kryptonite so he can kill Superman. Everyone is so sure they got this guy pegged cause some "coworker" on another board "exposed him" but conveniently forget that coworker ran off never to be seen again the second people started questioning the story. Yet they still get all the trust and Sean is automatically the psychopath/womanizer/celebrity wannabe. Why? Cause he talks funny? I really don't get the reaction he evokes.

 

I'll will say one thing for Sean though, he brings out the crazy in whoever knows/speaks of him. I thought Davina was in need of that midnight train to therapy-ville until I read some of his detractors online. Get in line kiddo. And the sad thing is the only proof they provide is their feelings. Not what they've seen on the show or via SM with their own eyes, just a general feeling they get. So, what if your feelings are wrong? How are you gonna feel then if Sean isn't this devil incarnate? I've always judged people by what I see and heard FROM THEM, not on hearsay. Judging a book by its cover never works out well IMO. While Sean may be off, he's a far cry from some manipulative psycho yet to hear some tell it you'd think he was this evil master mind who's been playing Davina since the honeymoon. What am I missing here? Am I the crazy one? I feel like I'm living in an alternate universe or something.

 

There were 3 co-workers that outed him in the first thread on that forum, not just 1.  Also, I believe they asked to be removed from that community because Sean had caught wind of the board and would know who outed him despite anonymous screen names.  From what I saw in the first thread, they answered all of the questions that the other forum members had.  It didn't look to me like they disappeared because people were asking too many questions but YMMV.

 

I knew something was off about Sean after the first couple of episodes.  When I say "off", I simply mean... my bullshit meter was triggered. The comments from his co-workers only confirmed my suspicions.  They didn't say that he skins puppies and kittens on the weekends but they did say that he is not the person he has portrayed himself to be on this show.  I don't think he is a psychopath, but I definitely don't believe he's on this show for the right reasons.  His actions have spoken louder than words -- imo. 

 

Do I think that he's crafting an exit-strategy?  Hell yeah.  He knows that Davina isn't the right person for him.  He's been showing us that in little ways, each episode.  He doesn't want to look like the bad guy... so he's going to do what he can to spin this.  It's a defense mechanism.   He doesn't seem like the type to engage in confrontation -- thus the lying. 

 

Now, do I blame Sean 100%?  Nope.  I think that the "experts" share equal blame here.  Did they really take a good look at this couple?  Did they not see that perhaps her defensive and confrontational nature would trigger his anxiety?  His anxiety then also triggered her confrontational and defensive nature.  It's a toxic cycle.  Going forward, I think the experts really need to assess the negative aspects of each candidate's personality and the potential downfall of a match.

 

Your mileage may vary on Sean.  I don't think he's evil incarnate but I would be lying if I said that I wasn't disappointed in this match and that I think a lot of the reasons behind why it failed is due to the fact that he wasn't being honest when he signed up for this show.

[Wings]

Either that or nobody cooks and they eat out a lot.

 

 

This is it.  I would eat out or order in, for sure.  It is only 6 weeks.  I think most of them do that anyway.  None of them appear to be people who can throw together a good meal.  Well, we know Jaclyn can't!  

[Bella]

If I were living with a strange man for six weeks but was really only in our supposedly shared apartment on the weekends, I wouldn't bother to cook. Maybe breakfast, but why set up a kitchen and buy food if, the conceit of the show notwithstanding, I'm only there for 10-12 days total?

[Snarklepuss]

There were 3 co-workers that outed him in the first thread on that forum, not just 1.  Also, I believe they asked to be removed from that community because Sean had caught wind of the board and would know who outed him despite anonymous screen names.  From what I saw in the first thread, they answered all of the questions that the other forum members had.  It didn't look to me like they disappeared because people were asking too many questions but YMMV.

 

I knew something was off about Sean after the first couple of episodes.  When I say "off", I simply mean... my bullshit meter was triggered. The comments from his co-workers only confirmed my suspicions.  They didn't say that he skins puppies and kittens on the weekends but they did say that he is not the person he has portrayed himself to be on this show.  I don't think he is a psychopath, but I definitely don't believe he's on this show for the right reasons.  His actions have spoken louder than words -- imo. 

 

That's interesting about his coworkers on that other board.  From what I gather, most people doubt their authenticity since they disappeared from the board.  Whether or not those people are for real, I have said I found something creepy about Sean since right after the wedding, something which I later found out is far from unique to me.  There's an old  saying I can't remember that says something like if 99% of the world thinks you're an asshole, you must be one.  The real saying is much funnier.  I personally think people are sensing his lack of authenticity.  Like you, my bullshit meter is triggered with him.  He seems to have ulterior motives for being on the show.  He doesn't come off as someone who is genuinely looking for love, commitment and marriage.  That plus what he says doesn't match his body language and facial expressions.  People have said he lacks emotion, is geeky, whatever.  I just think he is a bad actor.  I think he wanted to get on a reality show and perhaps have a good few rolls in the sack with a similar woman looking for sexual adventure and reality TV fame.  He didn't bargain for someone who was looking for the real thing.  A living, breathing woman who wanted a give and take relationship.  He is trying to save face by acting like he is sooo invested in the process.  That's why he has been so flexible - because he wants to look genuine and knows he's not going to have to follow through on it after the 6 weeks.  Meanwhile, he is crafting his exit strategy, which will be all about not feeling right about Davina as "the one" for him, Which may be true but it never would have been true with anyone given that he's just not ready for marriage in general.   Did he genuinely think he was ready and then found out he was not, or is it just Davina that's not right for him?  I seriously doubt that.

 

Where do I get all this stuff?  It's known as intuition. There aren't any facts to back it up, just the micro-expressions on his face frozen on my DVR and how I interpret them to substantiate my claims.  My intuition has served me well with men.  After so many years knowing them and being a student of both Psychology and human nature, I have come to trust my intuition.  It has never ever once been wrong, and I don't say that to be a braggart or anything.  Perhaps it's a gift, whatever.  I don't mind if other people doubt my intuition.  Let them doubt it, but usually they come back to me later on when they find out the truth and marvel at how right I was all along.

[Neurochick]

Where do I get all this stuff?  It's known as intuition. There aren't any facts to back it up, just the micro-expressions on his face frozen on my DVR and how I interpret them to substantiate my claims.  My intuition has served me well with men.  After so many years knowing them and being a student of both Psychology and human nature, I have come to trust my intuition.  It has never ever once been wrong, and I don't say that to be a braggart or anything.  Perhaps it's a gift, whatever.  I don't mind if other people doubt my intuition.  Let them doubt it, but usually they come back to me later on when they find out the truth and marvel at how right I was all along.

 

 

I think when you get to a certain age, you're like, "I've seen this shit before."  Sean comes across to me like someone who says and does things because he knows it makes him look good, not because he means them.  He doesn't seem to be showing himself on TV.  Ryan D, for all his faults, I think is showing himself on TV.  It's not always pretty but it is real.  I think Sean wants to look good more than anything.  

[62GREAT]

I used to read the baby chat forum of this show 1st season. They allowed "0" criticism of Dr. Cilona! From what I have read on this board, it seems like the Dr has a favorite this season also. Last season it was Jamie, he was always very defensive of her and not really invested in the others, same thing for the posters there.

I am doubtful that the "experts" really do all of the testing that they claim. This season seems even more scripted and fake, I hope they don't do another season if they are just going to hire more actors and just create a show rather than trying to do serious matching.

[John Mraz]

^^^^^

The promotion is bullshit in my opinion. It is a part of a well crafted exit strategy, just like constant apologies and "owning" his shortcomings at every opportunity he gets. He is a manipulative psychopath. Davina is a bitch, much more palatable in my opinion.

Assuming Davina came to the same conclusion (that Sean is a manipulative sociopath who was not legitimately looking for marriage), it would have been hard for her to continue the charade, and she would have every reason to feel bitter that she had been paired with someone like that.  Also, what kind of employer would promote an employee halfway through filming a reality television show?  It's just not credible.  If Dr. Cilona was basing his comments about Sean getting a promotion, on Sean's filmed comments about getting a promotion, Sean loses even more credibility on the topic.  He may well end up fired from his job as a result of this series, unless he can convince his employer that he felt "pressured" and "anxious" and used the promotion as a little white lie to get himself off the hook.

 

Taking Sean's word that he would relocate was very short sighted of the experts/producers IMHO as I wonder did they even follow up with him on just where he would relocate to--northern New Jersey, Long Island, the moon, etc?

Davina said the producers specifically asked Sean whether he would relocate to Manhattan when the producers decided the two were a match.  That is quite specific.

 

Not to single you out but what's the reason for hating/distrusting him as much as some on the internet do? No one here knows him and yet he's accused of lying about his job and promotion (Which he didn't even tell us about to begin with. Dr. C did), he's being called things like a womanizer/liar/psychopath. Some of you act like Sean spends his free time perfecting liquid kryptonite so he can kill Superman. Everyone is so sure they got this guy pegged cause some "coworker" on another board "exposed him" but conveniently forget that coworker ran off never to be seen again the second people started questioning the story. Yet they still get all the trust and Sean is automatically the psychopath/womanizer/celebrity wannabe. Why? Cause he talks funny? I really don't get the reaction he evokes.

 

I'll will say one thing for Sean though, he brings out the crazy in whoever knows/speaks of him. I thought Davina was in need of that midnight train to therapy-ville until I read some of his detractors online. Get in line kiddo. And the sad thing is the only proof they provide is their feelings. Not what they've seen on the show or via SM with their own eyes, just a general feeling they get. So, what if your feelings are wrong? How are you gonna feel then if Sean isn't this devil incarnate? I've always judged people by what I see and heard FROM THEM, not on hearsay. Judging a book by its cover never works out well IMO. While Sean may be off, he's a far cry from some manipulative psycho yet to hear some tell it you'd think he was this evil master mind who's been playing Davina since the honeymoon. What am I missing here? Am I the crazy one? I feel like I'm living in an alternate universe or something.

For many viewers, Sean's quirks remind us of a sociopath or two we have dealt with, and once you can recognize one, you can recognize them all.  There are certain subtleties in how sociopaths interact and express themselves that reveal their emotional expressions as mimicry (as opposed to genuine self-expression).  Sean is waving a huge red flag in that department.

Edited May 31, 2015 by John Mraz

[absolutelyido]

For many viewers, Sean's quirks remind us of a sociopath or two we have dealt with, and once you can recognize one, you can recognize them all.  There are certain subtleties in how sociopaths interact and express themselves that reveal their emotional expressions as mimicry (as opposed to genuine self-expression).  Sean is waving a huge red flag in that department.

 

Sean works in the ER department of a hospital. I'm sure that some of the people who come into the ER are there because of mental health issues. So Sean works with doctors, and likely psychiatrists, every day. If Sean had a serious mental illness such as being a sociopath (i.e. having antisocial personality disorder) it would seem to me that at least one of them would have recognized it and said something about it--like maybe he shouldn't be allowed to work with patients. There's no evidence this has ever happened.

 

It seems unlikely to me that the medical professionals Sean works with every day wouldn't have noticed that he has a mental illness, but people who see him on tv for 20 minutes a week are able to recognize it.

[Bella]

I think we're over-speculating. Sean may be strange, weird, and unlikable to some posters, but let's not label him a sociopath.

 

Thanks!

[John Mraz]

Sean works in the ER department of a hospital. I'm sure that some of the people who come into the ER are there because of mental health issues. So Sean works with doctors, and likely psychiatrists, every day. If Sean had a serious mental illness such as being a sociopath (i.e. having antisocial personality disorder) it would seem to me that at least one of them would have recognized it and said something about it--like maybe he shouldn't be allowed to work with patients. There's no evidence this has ever happened.

 

It seems unlikely to me that the medical professionals Sean works with every day wouldn't have noticed that he has a mental illness, but people who see him on tv for 20 minutes a week are able to recognize it.

Sociopathy is not a mental illness; it's a personality disorder.  Sociopaths quite often pass as normal (https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201305/confessions-sociopath).  I hope the linked article helps provide you with a better understanding of the difference between a sociopath and a normal person.

 

I think Sean's anxiety is feigned, just like that time he came home "sick" from work.  He pretends to be anxious or sick (or asleep, like on New Years) to get out of doing things he doesn't want to do.

[Jel]

My expert clinical diagnosis of Sean: weenie-ism

[Snarklepuss]

I think when you get to a certain age, you're like, "I've seen this shit before."  Sean comes across to me like someone who says and does things because he knows it makes him look good, not because he means them.  He doesn't seem to be showing himself on TV.  Ryan D, for all his faults, I think is showing himself on TV.  It's not always pretty but it is real.  I think Sean wants to look good more than anything.  

 

Absolutely!  It's true, by my age I have seen this and more shit before and it feels like Sean is avoiding having conflict to look good on TV.  He and Davina would have had far more disagreements and discussions if they were both not trying to avoid the 800 pound gorilla in the room.   The other men are not trying so hard to avoid looking bad because perhaps they are being more genuine. So they have let out their bad emotions now and then on camera.  Even Ryan R. with all his whining about being away from his family and how Jaclyn is too much for him did not exactly show his best side.  Davina and Sean have a lot of issues between them but to this point they have been glossing over them or ignoring them altogether.  Are we supposed to buy that Sean is on board with Manhattan all of a sudden?  Somehow I don't despite what he says.  No sex and not being on the same page about where to live/work are two big potentially deal breaking issues that have not been resolved.  Even Ryan R. and Jaclyn have been making comments on camera about working out their distance and sexual issues, and yet nothing with Davina and Sean.  Instead they're constantly reverting to childhood and escapism with glow in the dark stars, puzzles and games.

Edited June 1, 2015 by Snarklepuss

[Higgins]

It's dehumanizing (used to describe all living things of the female sex), it reduces a woman to her genitalia (I'd like men to think that I'm more than just tits and a vagina), it's transphobic, it's not exactly used as a term of affection when used to refer to a woman, and the word "woman" exists. Respectfully, YMMV.

I don't see it that way.

[Higgins]

Sociopathy is not a mental illness; it's a personality disorder.  Sociopaths quite often pass as normal (https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201305/confessions-sociopath).  I hope the linked article helps provide you with a better understanding of the difference between a sociopath and a normal person.

 

I think Sean's anxiety is feigned, just like that time he came home "sick" from work.  He pretends to be anxious or sick (or asleep, like on New Years) to get out of doing things he doesn't want to do.

Personality disorders are considered mental illness. I am a psychiatric nurse and they are Axis II disorders in the DSM.

[Happenings12]

It seems unlikely to me that the medical professionals Sean works with every day wouldn't have noticed that he has a mental illness, but people who see him on tv for 20 minutes a week are able to recognize it.

 

lol Exactly. Thank you. I thought I was all alone on this island.

 

 

Absolutely!  It's true, by my age I have seen this and more shit before and it feels like Sean is avoiding having conflict to look good on TV.  He and Davina would have had far more disagreements and discussions if they were both not trying to avoid the 800 pound gorilla in the room.   The other men are not trying so hard to avoid looking bad because perhaps they are being more genuine. So they have let out their bad emotions now and then on camera.  Even Ryan R. with all his whining about being away from his family and how Jaclyn is too much for him did not exactly show his best side.  Davina and Sean have a lot of issues between them but to this point they have been glossing over them or ignoring them altogether.  Are we supposed to buy that Sean is on board with Manhattan all of a sudden?  Somehow I don't despite what he says.  No sex and not being on the same page about where to live/work are two big potentially deal breaking issues that have not been resolved.  Even Ryan R. and Jaclyn have been making comments on camera about working out their distance and sexual issues, and yet nothing with Davina and Sean.  Instead they're constantly reverting to childhood and escapism with glow in the dark stars, puzzles and games.

 

Maybe he is trying to avoid conflict to look good on TV. He works in an ER for cripes sake. His reputation is essential in that field. Would you want your ER nurse to be known in a poor light from a reality tv show? I can't for the life of me understand why Davina is posting half the stuff she is on twitter. Did she retire recently or something? What doctor is gonna listen to a word she says when she's shown her inner crazy to everyone? I have no doubt she'll experience work related issues over this. Maybe she already has. Someone told her boy Chris to go silent and private real fast when the $#*! hit the fan last week.

 

As for avoiding the conversation of moving, Davina has firmly said no to any and all compromises regarding leaving the UES. What's to talk about? You can't negotiate with someone who refuses to give an inch. So he tried moving (2 hours each way from his job/friends/family) and it didn't work out. I've personally known people who've moved for work related reasons to other states and they still are having trouble adjusting 3 and 4 YEARS later. He had 6 weeks. You can doubt how hard he tried, or for how long but I don't see how you doubt him on actually trying period, and/or being the only 1 in the relationship who was even willing to try to begin with. I just don't see how that is in dispute. I just can't fault the guy over the location stuff when he is dealing with patients lives and she could have moved anywhere in the world for the 6 weeks the show filmed. Her real apartment was being fixed up during this time. She was gonna have to get a temp apartment anyway so why did it have to be in the UES? 6 weeks living in NJ, or even half way while he dealt with people's lives while they get to know each other seems like common sense to me. Then after 6 weeks decide the living arrangements. Even if things went perfect those 6 weeks there is no guarantee they would have stayed together. Look at Ryan R and Jac. They bonded the most yet I doubt anyone would lay hard currency on them staying married at this point cause you just don't know.

[seasick]

hi all.  New to the forum and got some catching up to do here!   Don't throw anything at me but although I'm not down with Davina's bashing of Sean. I understand her frustration with Sean as per the current episodes.  

 

First, he clearly doesn't listen. I got frustrated with him by the honeymoon about this and saw Davina's frustration as well.  She said at the reception she only dates Caucasian men. That's not an insignificant fact.  He asks about it a few days later.  She told him her family was not supportive... he asks about it again as though she never said it.  The coffee thing.. small but not hard for coffee drinkers to remember the next day how the other takes their coffee.   He asked about her best "date"  clearly so he could talk about his... and she called him on it.  He's at a level of immaturity where he is still very self absorbed.

 

I bugs the heck out of me how he has to narrate and define all their moments or situations as though his perspective is the only one.  He rarely asks her for her take on things or her feelings about things.   I don't think she's "needy" ..I think she needs and wants Sean to simply acknowledge her!   He is so caught up in *his*feelings, *his* thoughts,*his* fears,  *his" take, it's like she's invisible   Again so self absorbed.. not in a conceited way.. just from his own fears and neurosis and immaturity.  I really question the experts' tools.  It seems that they should have easily picked up on the diff in their maturity and sophistication levels and for sure picked up on Ryan D's anger and bitterness problem.

[Snarklepuss]

It seems unlikely to me that the medical professionals Sean works with every day wouldn't have noticed that he has a mental illness, but people who see him on tv for 20 minutes a week are able to recognize it.

 

I think Sean has what can be more accurately called a character disorder, not a mental illness.  And no matter what the DSM says there is still disagreement amongst professionals over which disorders are accurately labeled as illnesses.  Also, the personalities people display at work are often a lot different than how they are in their off hours.  People can hide a lot of shit under a professional veneer.