S12.E20: More Love More Problems

[TexasGal]

Quote

After a tumultuous trip to Greece, the women are back home in the ATL. Kandi heads to Chicago for a major acting opportunity, but her absence at home reopens old wounds. Eva debuts baby Maverick to the world, while the status of Kenya’s marriage hangs in the balance. Porsha hosts a charity event and the ladies lay it all on the table

Airdate 04.05.2020

[Iguessnot]

Ohh Gregg looks real good. Hope his health keeps stable.

[Axie]

You know Kenya HAD TO fit in that Porsha’s sister called her when her water broke.

Nene and Greg have to be the most boring couple ever.

[LibertarianSlut]

Nene’s self-centeredness lives on:  Gregg’s been cancer-free for six months, but let’s not talk about him, let’s talk about how I perceived Kenya’s behavior at the “re-yun” party half a world away...

I get the impression that Todd smokes a lot of weed.  He was so high in every scene of this episode.  He was probably high a few episodes ago when he forgot about Kenya’s charity benefit and that Kandi was going to Greece.  I’m surprised it took me so long to recognize. Kandi will never talk about it, the way that she denies Joyce’s drinking.

Kenya’s estate planner doesn’t inspire confidence.  If she knew about assets, why would she be working out of a concrete block office with ugly fake plants as decor?  To me, that’s like having your accountant do your taxes from jail.  

Ok, yay, a payoff, we did get to see Eva’s baby!  I would have liked to see the birth, like we did with Phaedra.  That would have been a whole lot more interesting than listening to Cynthia recap Greece to Eva, event by event, as if we hadn’t seen the whole damn thing...

I didn’t understand Porsha’s explanation about her role in the March of Dimes, although, to be fair, everyone was probably confused.  Imagine how many times the organizers had to explain to Porsha that this charitable endeavor would not involve a parade or coins.  🤭

Seriously, that seemed much more like a support group than a charity, though, and I didn’t really understand the conversation.  Everyone just told a birthing or infertility story, and Shamea said when she was giving birth she had a blood clot and people shouldn’t be ashamed.  Is this a thing now?  Are/were women shamed or ashamed for having blood clots in 2019 America?  It seemed a little (or a lot) like slacktivism.  If the cause was apparent, I would have wondered how many of them actually wrote a check, but for general purposes of motherhood?  It doesn’t compel me.  Ending female genital mutilation?  Sign me up.

Since I didn’t understand the event, I paid more attention to the outfits.  What were Kandi and Kenya trying to achieve there with their breasts?  Kandi looked like she was being strangled by hers, and Kenya’s aureolas were on display.  Once again, Shamea looked the best, hands down.  There’s not even a contest anymore.  

Kill me, but I’m on Todd’s side about the sex scene.  Kandi is doing this out of a spirit of adventurism, not to pay a bill, and I’m just not sure why she would find sexual expression with other men fulfilling at this point.  The scene may be fake, but the touching and nudity is real.  

Then again, Kandi has no problem letting Todd frequent the strip clubs (with his daughter), so Todd can kind of miss me that he’s drawing this particular line in this particular part of the sand.  Especially now that Kandi has committed.  The time to have this talk was before she agreed to move halfway across the country to do a play with a baby coming and a toddler crying in the house.  

And cry me a river with that last part, Todd.  Poor Todd could have been making films this whole time, but Mama Joyce said “ain’t no mountain high enough,” so he got stuck “becoming a business entity.”  I was waiting for him to switch to Jay-Z:  “I’m not a businessman, I’m a business...man.”  Todd, you poor, stifled artist.

 But if Kandi and Todd do nothing, they do know how to drive a plot.  So...that was at least 50% of what this was about.  I just wish Kandi would school Todd not to use the high, girly bitch voice when he doesn’t get his way.  Also, I don’t care how low or slow he says it, it sounds very disrespectful and uncalled for when Todd is mumbling “man, you need to get your ass...” to his wife.  Dude.  Save that talk for your friends.  It sounds horrible to call your wife “man” and telling her what her “ass” needs to do.  Where does he get off?  

Ok, I think I just switched sides between Kandi and Todd four times in one post, which feels like I just did karaoke to both parts of Meatloaf’s “Paradise By The Dashboard Light,” so I’m going to take a rest now.  

Most solid and balanced episode in awhile now.  I liked the flow.  Less pettiness.  More movement around and between the characters.  It was nice not to get bogged down in an awful fight with women slinging insults for once.  

Edited April 6, 2020 by LibertarianSlut
Typos

[Axie]

I honestly don’t understand why Kandi had another baby.  Riley has mentioned that Kandi didn’t have time to be a mother and now Ace is crying for her attention.  She wasn’t even real sure about when she’d be available when the baby was born.  I assume she was there but I don’t know whether she made it or not.

[Momager]

I fast forwarded through a good 60% of this episode . I’m pretty sure it’s time to kill this franchise.

[Lady of nod]

22 minutes ago, Axie said:

I honestly don’t understand why Kandi had another baby.  Riley has mentioned that Kandi didn’t have time to be a mother and now Ace is crying for her attention.  She wasn’t even real sure about when she’d be available when the baby was born.  I assume she was there but I don’t know whether she made it or not.

Yes. I just came on here to ask if anyone can tell me why Kandi is having another baby. Riley was right. Kandi is all about 2 things. Herself and money. 

[escape]

Ne-Ne says they have a great cast - except for 1 person - Eva - who hasn't carried her weight and is not a good fit for the show.  I think Marlo or Tanya should have gotten a peach instead.  There is no reason to bring Eva back.

[Iguessnot]

57 minutes ago, LibertarianSlut said:

Nene’s self-centeredness lives on:  Gregg’s been cancer-free for six months, but let’s not talk about him, let’s talk about how I perceived Kenya’s behavior at the “re-yun” party half a world away...

I get the impression that Todd smokes a lot of weed.  He was so high in every scene of this episode.  He was probably high a few episodes ago when he forgot about Kenya’s charity benefit and that Kandi was going to Greece.  I’m surprised it took me so long to recognize. Kandi will never talk about it, the way that she denies Joyce’s drinking.

Kenya’s estate planner doesn’t inspire confidence.  If she knew about assets, why would she be working out of a concrete block office with ugly fake plants as decor?  To me, that’s like having your accountant do your taxes from jail.  

Ok, yay, a payoff, we did get to see Eva’s baby!  I would have liked to see the birth, like we did with Phaedra.  That would have been a whole lot more interesting than listening to Cynthia recap Greece to Eva, event by event, as if we hadn’t seen the whole damn thing...

I didn’t understand Porsha’s explanation about her role in the March of Dimes, although, to be fair, everyone was probably confused.  Imagine how many times the organizers had to explain to Porsha that this charitable endeavor would not involve a parade or coins.  🤭

Seriously, that seemed much more like a support group than a charity, though, and I didn’t really understand the conversation.  Everyone just told a birthing or infertility story, and Shamea said when she was giving birth she had a blood clot and people shouldn’t be ashamed.  Is this a thing now?  Are/were women shamed or ashamed for having blood clots in 2019 America?  It seemed a little (or a lot) like slacktivism.  If the cause was apparent, I would have wondered how many of them actually wrote a check, but for general purposes of motherhood?  It doesn’t compel me.  Ending female genital mutilation?  Sign me up.

Since I didn’t understand the event, I paid more attention to the outfits.  What were Kandi and Kenya trying to achieve there with their breasts?  Kandi looked like she was being strangled by hers, and Kenya’s aureolas were on display.  Once again, Shamea looked the best, hands down.  There’s not even a contest anymore.  

Kill me, but I’m on Todd’s side about the sex scene.  Kandi is doing this out of a spirit of adventurism, not to pay a bill, and I’m just not sure why she would find sexual expression with other men fulfilling at this point.  The scene may be fake, but the touching and nudity is real.  

Then again, Kandi has no problem letting Todd frequent the strip clubs (with his daughter), so Todd can kind of miss me that he’s drawing this particular line in this particular part of the sand.  Especially now that Kandi has committed.  The time to have this talk was before she agreed to move halfway across the country to do a play with a baby coming and a toddler crying in the house.  

And cry me a river with that last part, Todd.  Poor Todd could have been making films this whole time, but Mama Joyce said “ain’t no mountain high enough,” so he got stuck “becoming a business entity.”  I was waiting for him to switch to Jay-Z:  “I’m not a businessman, I’m a business...man.”  Todd, you poor, stifled artist.

 But if Kandi and Todd do nothing, they do know how to drive a plot.  So...that was at least 50% of what this was about.  I just wish Kandi would school Todd not to use the high, girly bitch voice when he doesn’t get his way.  Also, I don’t care how low or slow he says it, it sounds very disrespectful and uncalled for when Todd is mumbling “man, you need to get your ass...” to his wife.  Dude.  Save that talk for your friends.  It sounds horrible to call your wife “man” and telling her what her “ass” needs to do.  Where does he get off?  

Ok, I think I just switched sides between Kandi and Todd four times in one post, which feels like I just did karaoke to both parts of Meatloaf’s “Paradise By The Dashboard Light,” so I’m going to take a rest now.  

Most solid and balanced episode in awhile now.  I liked the flow.  Less pettiness.  More movement around and between the characters.  It was nice not to get bogged down in an awful fight with women slinging insults for once.  

I agree the luncheon was strange. Since when have miscarriages been shameful? Women with fertility issues who miscarry, women who miscarry late or miscarry a desperately wanted pregnancy tend to have a greater emotional burden, but otherwise miscarriages are part of the territory.

Kandi is like Dr Jackie. They claim to want balance while dumping more on the scales. Women freeze their eggs because the technology is there. Wombs are for rent and socially acceptable so the wealthy can go from surrogate, to nanny to boarding school with ease. If Kandi had to carry another child herself I think she would have wisely been done with having children. 

Kandi had a moment of clarity a few episodes back when she mentioned the freedom of not carrying the child; something about feeling guilty for being like the man in the relationship. I don't think she should feel guilt, but it's an opportunity for her to examine her perceptions because now someone else is carrying her child and she like Todd still carry on with their own duties outside of the needs of the surrogate.

I don't like Todd's manner of speaking but what he said was so important but it's hard to know if Kandi will ever get it. She didn't marry a man her financial equal or better, but he wasn't a broke dusty. Under pressure from the Coven, he had to abandon his work to be a Kandi mogul in training. Kandi mentioned that what he does benefits her, but what he does is work for her and manage projects for Kandi and the OLG. Kandi mentioned one thing of Todd's she supported that he didn't follow through on. But I don't know it was a project he would really pursue at this time. 

It's a tough situation. The reason the current work pays better is because Kandi dictates what Todd gets paid for those jobs. If he does the work he loves and trained to do, his ability to contribute to the household finances is significantly lowered and control issues ensue. They possibly could have navigated this if Joyce hadn't poisoned the well.

We are introduced to Kenya's aunt. They have a loving and trusted relationship. She is the daughter of Kenya's grandmother and they were raised together. More evidence of how Kenya was well loved by both sides of her family despite the withdrawal of the mother.

Kenya mentions that she is not allowed to speak to Marc's parents. She doesn't say this with anger or suspicion. Just that calm sorrow that her husband and "friend" didn't open up his life to her.  Unbelievable.

Eva and Cynthia looked stunning when holding the baby. Such beauties.

 

[ridethemaverick]

I think the ladies were conflating some issues. African American women have the highest rates of infant mortality and adverse birth outcomes when compared to any other group in the US, even after controlling for SES, education levels, and quality of prenatal care. We're also more likely to die in childbirth and less likely to receive adequate pain management (because doctors don't believe us even we say we're in pain. It's a statistical fact). So the birth stories were very relevant. The miscarriages, maybe not so much but it seemed to be cathartic for them to share those.

Cynthia and Kenya's wigs were atrocious.

Porsha looks amazing in hot pink.

Nene cannot stop wearing white tees. I guess that was her semiformal tee she was wearing at MOD.

Edited April 6, 2020 by ridethemaverick

[luvbadtv]

7 hours ago, ridethemaverick said:

I think the ladies were conflating some issues. African American women have the highest rates of infant mortality and adverse birth outcomes when compared to any other group in the US, even after controlling for SES, education levels, and quality of prenatal care. We're also more likely to die in childbirth and less likely to receive adequate pain management (because doctors don't believe us even we say we're in pain. It's a statistical fact). So the birth stories were very relevant. The miscarriages, maybe not so much but it seemed to be cathartic for them to share those.

I didn't feel like their discussion really drove home the point that this is a problem in the AA community.  I think they missed an opportunity to shine a light on these issues.  I thought it came off more as general women's issues.

[Sheenieb]

Quote

I agree the luncheon was strange. Since when have miscarriages been shameful? Women with fertility issues who miscarry, women who miscarry late or miscarry a desperately wanted pregnancy tend to have a greater emotional burden, but otherwise miscarriages are part of the territory.

I thought the luncheon was going to focus on the high maternity mortality rates that Black women face during childbirth. But it was a hodgepodge of stories. While I don't think miscarriages are "shameful," there is this vibe of "move on, you'll have another baby" which is off putting. 

I'm not going to shame Kandi for being ambitious. If the roles were reversed and she were upset that Todd wasn't spending enough time with his family, the narrative would've been that she knew who she married/she knew he had a hustle mentality/she should've married a 9-5 dude, etc. Women don't get sympathy when they marry rich men and complain about quality time.

That being said, I'm not going to invalidate Todd's feelings, either. We make time for the people and the things that matter to us. There's no such thing as "too busy" when you're really interested. If you have to chase after your partner (Kenya) to spend time with you, then you're not catching the hint that they DGAF. Interested people act interested. 

I'm glad they're headed to counseling, though. Hopefully, it's with someone reputable.

Whew, chile, Kenya wasn't allowed to speak to her in-laws? Sigh, Kenya isn't the first nor will she be the last woman to be caught up in man mess, but her story is definitely a cautionary tale. We get beat over the head as women to get married and have children at all costs. Kenya was better off, and I'm sure happier, as a single woman than being a part-time wife to a controlling asshole. 

Edited April 6, 2020 by Sheenieb

[ErikaAlyson]

So surprised to see Kandi and Todd in what it looks like is marriage counseling in the next episode. They seemed like such a solid couple. Kenya’s aunt is so pretty😊. I’m surprised she didn’t pick her other aunt but she did say this aunt (dad’s sister) grew up in the house with her I think. 

[Lady of nod]

13 hours ago, escape said:

Ne-Ne says they have a great cast - except for 1 person - Eva - who hasn't carried her weight and is not a good fit for the show.  I think Marlo or Tanya should have gotten a peach instead.  There is no reason to bring Eva back.

Who made NeNe Queen high executioner? Oh right, she did. I like Eva.

[luckyroll3]

1 hour ago, Sheenieb said:

Whew, chile, Kenya wasn't allowed to speak to her in-laws? Sigh, Kenya isn't the first nor will she be the last woman to be caught up in man mess, but her story is definitely a cautionary tale. We get beat over the head as women to get married and have children at all costs. Kenya was better off, and I'm sure happier, as a single woman than being a part-time wife to a controlling asshole. 

So true and I agree.  I just finished rewatching season 9, when Kenya was dating Matt.  And when his behavior started getting weird/erratic and his level of violence and craziness began to escalate and kept escalating, she kept making excuses for him and tried to keep the relationship going.  Part of it was because she felt that he was "a good man" and she'd waited so long to find someone like him.  The other part of it is because many of the ladies on the show (and I have no doubt others) kept implying that she should feel bad for being sooooooo old and single and that she has value if she isn't married.  So I'm not surprised at all that she's hoping for her and Mark to work everything out.  

I wonder if she has never met her in-laws.  That's so bizarre for him to essentially ban her from speaking to them.  What the hell?  

43 minutes ago, ErikaOnline said:

Kenya’s aunt is so pretty😊. I’m surprised she didn’t pick her other aunt but she did say this aunt (dad’s sister) grew up in the house with her I think. 

When she said she wanted her aunt to handle everything, I just assumed she meant Aunt Lori.  I was like, who is this Aunt Lisa?!  Lol!  

[Baltimore Betty]

11 hours ago, Iguessnot said:

Kenya mentions that she is not allowed to speak to Marc's parents. She doesn't say this with anger or suspicion. Just that calm sorrow that her husband and "friend" didn't open up his life to her.  Unbelievable.

Marc not allowing Kenya to speak to his parents/family was odd, were they not allowed to call her? Wouldn't his parents want to get to know Kenya or hear about their grandchild?  What power does Marc have over all these people? Marc might be fearful about what would they tell Kenya which that alone is a good reason to part ways with him.

Grandparents not fussing over the baby is weird, something is not right.

[Sheenieb]

Quote

I wonder if she has never met her in-laws.  That's so bizarre for him to essentially ban her from speaking to them.  What the hell?  

I doubt she's physically met them. Wasn't it last season or the season before when she said that she was "meeting" her in-laws via Skype? Marc's whole family setup is clearly a mess. I doubt she's met her stepchildren. Kenya is a lot of things, but dumb isn't one of them, so I know none of this was sitting well in her spirit, but once that desperation gets ahold of you, it's hard to shake.

[politichick]

12 hours ago, ridethemaverick said:

I think the ladies were conflating some issues. African American women have the highest rates of infant mortality and adverse birth outcomes when compared to any other group in the US, even after controlling for SES, education levels, and quality of prenatal care. We're also more likely to die in childbirth and less likely to receive adequate pain management (because doctors don't believe us even we say we're in pain. It's a statistical fact). So the birth stories were very relevant. The miscarriages, maybe not so much but it seemed to be cathartic for them to share those.

Cynthia and Kenya's wigs were atrocious.

Porsha looks amazing in hot pink.

Nene cannot stop wearing white tees. I guess that was her semiformal tee she was wearing at MOD.

I think the purpose of the event was to discuss infant and mother mortality but it got kind of off track. The goal was probably to raise awareness. My boss did a couple of episodes with the show. They cut out a lot. 

[politichick]

Just now, politichick said:

I think the purpose of the event was to discuss infant and mother mortality but it got kind of off track. The goal was probably to raise awareness. My boss did a couple of episodes with the show. They cut out a lot. 

Also, Todd can miss me with always calling his wife, "man." What is wrong with him? And I'm confident Kandi would not mind if he took some production gigs. And a lot of film making is done in Atlanta, so he needs to show some initiative because she sure as hell is pursuing her dreams. He should start a production company; she'd love that.

[Pearson80]

21 hours ago, ridethemaverick said:

I think the ladies were conflating some issues. African American women have the highest rates of infant mortality and adverse birth outcomes when compared to any other group in the US, even after controlling for SES, education levels, and quality of prenatal care. We're also more likely to die in childbirth and less likely to receive adequate pain management (because doctors don't believe us even we say we're in pain. It's a statistical fact). So the birth stories were very relevant. The miscarriages, maybe not so much but it seemed to be cathartic for them to share those.

Cynthia and Kenya's wigs were atrocious.

Porsha looks amazing in hot pink.

Nene cannot stop wearing white tees. I guess that was her semiformal tee she was wearing at MOD.

Rich Black women are not exempted from dying in childbirth. Beyonce and Serena despite their wealth fame and status almost lost their lives having their babies. It goes to show you that we are still dealing with the consequences of slavery.  Racism is not just being called the N word it is how insidious it is in that it permeates every aspect of our lives.  Black women cannot have their babies in peace without fear of death for themselves and their babies in the USA, a damn shame! 

The irony is that the Opioid epidemic did not hit the Black community like it did other communities because doctors do not believe we feel pain so we were not prescribed pain medications that were highly addictive. Notice how our country champions understanding compassion and empathy with it comes to people who suffer from opioid addictions unlike those who suffered from crack addictions in the 80's and 90's.  They were demonized hated and locked up for life. 

[Jade Foxx]

Just now, Pearson80 said:

Rich Black women are not exempted from dying in childbirth. Beyonce and Serena despite their wealth fame and status almost lost their lives having their babies. It goes to show you that we are still dealing with the consequences of slavery.  Racism is not just being called the N word it is how insidious it is in that it permeates every aspect of our lives.  Black women cannot have their babies in peace without fear of death for themselves and their babies in the USA, a damn shame! 

The irony is that the Opioid epidemic did not hit the Black community like it did other communities because doctors do not believe we feel pain so we were not prescribed pain medications that were highly addictive. Notice how our country champions understanding compassion and empathy with it comes to people who suffer from opioid addictions unlike those who suffered from crack addictions in the 80's and 90's.  They were demonized hated and locked up for life. 

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[AuntieDiane6]

Quote

I honestly don’t understand why Kandi had another baby.  Riley has mentioned that Kandi didn’t have time to be a mother and now Ace is crying for her attention.  She wasn’t even real sure about when she’d be available when the baby was born.  I assume she was there but I don’t know whether she made it or not.

Storyline.  Or she had an embryo and believed it was murder to dispose of it.  Or she figured she wouldn't actually need to spend time with the child since she has the money to hire help to take care of her.  

She and Todd will divorce in the next two years.  It's probably just the show, but it shocks me how short the relationships are of the women on this show.  For too many of them, they are simply looking for a good-looking sperm donor (Phaedra, Kenya).   Ironically, the one show star whose marriage seems to be tight is KIM. 

[Sheenieb]

1 hour ago, AuntieDiane6 said:

She and Todd will divorce in the next two years.  It's probably just the show, but it shocks me how short the relationships are of the women on this show.  For too many of them, they are simply looking for a good-looking sperm donor (Phaedra, Kenya).   Ironically, the one show star whose marriage seems to be tight is KIM. 

This is what happens when you're unequally yoked. Wow, I sound like my grandmother, but it's true. What binds Kandi and Todd is that they both have that hustler mentality. Doesn't he have 50-11 projects happening as well? He and Kandi had a whole-ass fight about it because she told him to focus on one thing at a time because it'll be impossible to devote equal time to his projects if he has too many things going on. 

Problem is, they didn't start off on the right foot. Kandi allowed her family to poison the well, and to make matters worse, she never shut them down over it. I'm thinking back to not only Joyce's rudeness to Todd and his mother, but what happened with Kandi's engagement ring. She loved the first ring Todd bought her, Joyce said something nasty, and then she got a new one. Anyone else remember that? That was one of several red flags that no matter what Todd did, in Joyce's eyes (although it shouldn't matter) he would never be good enough for Kandi because he wasn't rich. Kandi allowed Joyce to disrespect him, and Todd's pride took a big hit. Now, Kandi isn't responsible for Todd's ego, but the cracks in the foundation were set years ago. I hope they go the distance, but they have a lot of work to do. 

Todd is in the "woman's role" of marrying someone who's not your financial equal. Sometimes it works, but you have to be secure AF with yourself. 

 

[Hiyo]

Quote

She and Todd will divorce in the next two years.  

On that day Moma Joyce will experience the longest and most satisfying orgasm she has ever had.

[byrd]

On ‎4‎/‎6‎/‎2020 at 1:19 AM, Iguessnot said:

I agree the luncheon was strange. Since when have miscarriages been shameful? Women with fertility issues who miscarry, women who miscarry late or miscarry a desperately wanted pregnancy tend to have a greater emotional burden, but otherwise miscarriages are part of the territory.

Kandi is like Dr Jackie. They claim to want balance while dumping more on the scales. Women freeze their eggs because the technology is there. Wombs are for rent and socially acceptable so the wealthy can go from surrogate, to nanny to boarding school with ease. If Kandi had to carry another child herself I think she would have wisely been done with having children. 

Kandi had a moment of clarity a few episodes back when she mentioned the freedom of not carrying the child; something about feeling guilty for being like the man in the relationship. I don't think she should feel guilt, but it's an opportunity for her to examine her perceptions because now someone else is carrying her child and she like Todd still carry on with their own duties outside of the needs of the surrogate.

I don't like Todd's manner of speaking but what he said was so important but it's hard to know if Kandi will ever get it. She didn't marry a man her financial equal or better, but he wasn't a broke dusty. Under pressure from the Coven, he had to abandon his work to be a Kandi mogul in training. Kandi mentioned that what he does benefits her, but what he does is work for her and manage projects for Kandi and the OLG. Kandi mentioned one thing of Todd's she supported that he didn't follow through on. But I don't know it was a project he would really pursue at this time. 

It's a tough situation. The reason the current work pays better is because Kandi dictates what Todd gets paid for those jobs. If he does the work he loves and trained to do, his ability to contribute to the household finances is significantly lowered and control issues ensue. They possibly could have navigated this if Joyce hadn't poisoned the well.

We are introduced to Kenya's aunt. They have a loving and trusted relationship. She is the daughter of Kenya's grandmother and they were raised together. More evidence of how Kenya was well loved by both sides of her family despite the withdrawal of the mother.

Kenya mentions that she is not allowed to speak to Marc's parents. She doesn't say this with anger or suspicion. Just that calm sorrow that her husband and "friend" didn't open up his life to her.  Unbelievable.

Eva and Cynthia looked stunning when holding the baby. Such beauties.

 

hum...I thought that was Aunt Lori's daughter Kenya was speaking with ? Kenya said she wanted Aunt Lori to manage her affairs,, well the aunt Lori I know  is much older, Kenya's mother's sister . That was aunt Lisa I presume. 

Edited April 7, 2020 by byrd

[byrd]

23 hours ago, luckyroll3 said:

So true and I agree.  I just finished rewatching season 9, when Kenya was dating Matt.  And when his behavior started getting weird/erratic and his level of violence and craziness began to escalate and kept escalating, she kept making excuses for him and tried to keep the relationship going.  Part of it was because she felt that he was "a good man" and she'd waited so long to find someone like him.  The other part of it is because many of the ladies on the show (and I have no doubt others) kept implying that she should feel bad for being sooooooo old and single and that she has value if she isn't married.  So I'm not surprised at all that she's hoping for her and Mark to work everything out.  

I wonder if she has never met her in-laws.  That's so bizarre for him to essentially ban her from speaking to them.  What the hell?  

When she said she wanted her aunt to handle everything, I just assumed she meant Aunt Lori.  I was like, who is this Aunt Lisa?!  Lol!  

 

[byrd]

On ‎4‎/‎6‎/‎2020 at 10:12 AM, luvbadtv said:

I didn't feel like their discussion really drove home the point that this is a problem in the AA community.  I think they missed an opportunity to shine a light on these issues.  I thought it came off more as general women's issues.

It just seemed thrown together for filming:

[byrd]

On ‎4‎/‎6‎/‎2020 at 11:23 AM, Sheenieb said:

I thought the luncheon was going to focus on the high maternity mortality rates that Black women face during childbirth. But it was a hodgepodge of stories. While I don't think miscarriages are "shameful," there is this vibe of "move on, you'll have another baby" which is off putting. 

I'm not going to shame Kandi for being ambitious. If the roles were reversed and she were upset that Todd wasn't spending enough time with his family, the narrative would've been that she knew who she married/she knew he had a hustle mentality/she should've married a 9-5 dude, etc. Women don't get sympathy when they marry rich men and complain about quality time.

That being said, I'm not going to invalidate Todd's feelings, either. We make time for the people and the things that matter to us. There's no such thing as "too busy" when you're really interested. If you have to chase after your partner (Kenya) to spend time with you, then you're not catching the hint that they DGAF. Interested people act interested. 

I'm glad they're headed to counseling, though. Hopefully, it's with someone reputable.

Whew, chile, Kenya wasn't allowed to speak to her in-laws? Sigh, Kenya isn't the first nor will she be the last woman to be caught up in man mess, but her story is definitely a cautionary tale. We get beat over the head as women to get married and have children at all costs. Kenya was better off, and I'm sure happier, as a single woman than being a part-time wife to a controlling asshole. 

Kenya didn't take enough time to really know Marc.. anytime you can't meet the parents of the man you intend to marry ( if they are still alive ) then it's a problem .. I don't know the deal , but I get the impression they did not approve of Kenya, or Marc is hiding something else. 

[Iguessnot]

56 minutes ago, byrd said:

hum...I thought that was Aunt Lori's daughter Kenya was speaking with ? Kenya said she wanted Aunt Lori to manage her affairs,, well the aunt Lori I know  is much older, Kenya's mother's sister . That was aunt Lisa I presume. 

Aunt Lori is her mother's sister. This aunt, whose name I don't recall is her father's sister.

[byrd]

41 minutes ago, Iguessnot said:

Aunt Lori is her mother's sister. This aunt, whose name I don't recall is her father's sister.

OK..thanks

 

42 minutes ago, Iguessnot said:

Aunt Lori is her mother's sister. This aunt, whose name I don't recall is her father's sister.

 

[AuntieDiane6]

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Kenya didn't take enough time to really know Marc.. anytime you can't meet the parents of the man you intend to marry ( if they are still alive ) then it's a problem .. I don't know the deal , but I get the impression they did not approve of Kenya, or Marc is hiding something else. 

Of course Kenya didn't have enough time to know Marc.  She is in her mid-40s and wanted a baby.  I think she knew that they would be splitting up soon after the baby was born.  Marc's job was DONE. 

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Problem is, they didn't start off on the right foot. Kandi allowed her family to poison the well, and to make matters worse, she never shut them down over it. I'm thinking back to not only Joyce's rudeness to Todd and his mother, but what happened with Kandi's engagement ring...

Given that NONE of the women in these families are married to their children's father, you think that a decent man WITH A GOOD JOB would  be WELCOMED WITH OPEN ARMS!  

[luckyroll3]

I for one really like Kandi and Todd together and hope they make it.  Just the fact that they openly talk about their issues and go to counseling is a good sign.

Whoever said upthread that if their roles were reversed, no one would be judging Todd for working all the time is so true.  Although, I do think that the reason Todd does turn stuff down that he may really want to do is to ensure that at least one parent is around.  I don't think either of them is wrong; they just need to look at how they can shift things a bit so that they are both able to do things they are passionate about.  And also, think about moving Mama Joyce out of their damn neighborhood, and maybe even the state.

[Stats Queen]

7 hours ago, luckyroll3 said:

I for one really like Kandi and Todd together and hope they make it.  Just the fact that they openly talk about their issues and go to counseling is a good sign.

Whoever said upthread that if their roles were reversed, no one would be judging Todd for working all the time is so true.  Although, I do think that the reason Todd does turn stuff down that he may really want to do is to ensure that at least one parent is around.  I don't think either of them is wrong; they just need to look at how they can shift things a bit so that they are both able to do things they are passionate about.  And also, think about moving Mama Joyce out of their damn neighborhood, and maybe even the state.

I’m totally with you on all points.

[howiveaddict]

On 4/7/2020 at 4:59 PM, AuntieDiane6 said:

Of course Kenya didn't have enough time to know Marc.  She is in her mid-40s and wanted a baby.  I think she knew that they would be splitting up soon after the baby was born.  Marc's job was DONE. 

Given that NONE of the women in these families are married to their children's father, you think that a decent man WITH A GOOD JOB would  be WELCOMED WITH OPEN ARMS!  

I think Mama Joyce only saw Todd as a threat to her paycheck.

[Stats Queen]

48 minutes ago, howiveaddict said:

I think Mama Joyce only saw Todd as a threat to her paycheck.

I totally agree

[Hiyo]

Hell, Mama Joyce probably sees her own grandchildren as a threat to her paycheck.

[pasdetrois]

Todd is an opportunist.

[AuntieDiane6]

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Todd is an opportunist.

Hardly.  He met Kandi while working for OPRAHl.  If he was an opportunist, he'd encourage Kandi to keep working so he'd have time for a girlfriend. 

[Stats Queen]

On 4/13/2020 at 1:25 PM, AuntieDiane6 said:

Hardly.  He met Kandi while working for OPRAHl.  If he was an opportunist, he'd encourage Kandi to keep working so he'd have time for a girlfriend. 

I agree, I don’t think Todd is an opportunist either. 
 

He had a legitimate career long before Kandi. He left that to work with Kandi and her all her enterprises. I think that changed the dynamic. In the last couple of seasons, it feels like they moved from being business partners to Todd being Kandi’s employee. IMO, both were responsible for this change in dynamics. Todd basically changed careers and I think he migrated outside of the film/production industry to starting businesses and running restaurants- and he may have been better suited and prepared for the former.

I really liked them as a couple the first few years of their marriage and I really hope they can work through their issues (but if Kandi keeps taking on more and more and supporting so many others, I feel like Riley, Ace, and Blaze will suffer - and I’m a huge Kandi fan).

[Empress1]

On 4/9/2020 at 2:27 PM, luckyroll3 said:

I for one really like Kandi and Todd together and hope they make it.  Just the fact that they openly talk about their issues and go to counseling is a good sign.

Whoever said upthread that if their roles were reversed, no one would be judging Todd for working all the time is so true.  Although, I do think that the reason Todd does turn stuff down that he may really want to do is to ensure that at least one parent is around.  I don't think either of them is wrong; they just need to look at how they can shift things a bit so that they are both able to do things they are passionate about.  And also, think about moving Mama Joyce out of their damn neighborhood, and maybe even the state.

Me too. I like that while Todd may not earn as much as Kandi, he's not cowed by her (or her horrible mother). He may not be her financial equal (and few people are - most people aren't millionaires), but I do think they both think he's an equal partner in the marriage.

I was with Todd on what he was saying about how full Kandi's schedule is when she's home, though, especially if she's only home a day or two at a time while she's filming The Chi. Like, she could send Dr. Jackie her regards and play with Ace (who is so goddamn cute. "Remember I went to Chuck E. Cheese?") and have dinner with her family instead. Or she can tell Don Juan, who works for her, that from x o'clock to y o'clock is off limits because that's family time, so don't book anything during that time.

When Kenya said she's "not allowed" to speak to Marc's parents I was like, are they in WITSEC? Do they know their youngest grandchild? Where they do that at? Kenya is pushing 50 and wanted a kid, and I won't lie: Marc is fine, so I'm sure she was like "Okay, whatever" to get the marriage and baby she desperately wanted, but that's nuts. Have his other kids met her? How old are they? They don't live in the same city AND she apparently doesn't know his family; they haven't merged their lives at all.

[AuntieDiane6]

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I was with Todd on what he was saying about how full Kandi's schedule is when she's home, though, especially if she's only home a day or two at a time while she's filming The Chi. Like, she could send Dr. Jackie her regards and play with Ace (who is so goddamn cute. "Remember I went to Chuck E. Cheese?") and have dinner with her family instead. Or she can tell Don Juan, who works for her, that from x o'clock to y o'clock is off limits because that's family time, so don't book anything during that time.

I don't think she actually enjoys being at home and will make any excuse she can to leave.  Maybe she even married so she COULD leave, knowing a parent is home with the kids.  Even Riley complained that she doesn't have time for her children. She thinks throwing money at them will make them forget she's never there.