S07.E04: You Don't Forget Your Past

[RealReality]

1 minute ago, Jel said:

I just read the last four pages of this thread -- so much lively discussion! I loved it!

Couple of practical questions at this point:

Do we know for sure that grandma is providing for Bryson financially? i don't remember anything about it, but I may have been too engrossed in Candy Crush level 2600 to have caught it.

And, Grandma also mentioned that she is Bryson's mother figure, but did she also say she saw him once every two weeks? Am I getting that right? That's not a lot of mothering for such a young child, so I would not categorize that as a "mother figure". A womanly or feminine presence, yes. The only consistent woman in his life (if that's the case), sure! But mother figure, no.

And a comment -- the question about birth control is a reasonable question to have, but it's also not an appropriate one to ask on first meeting someone. Boundary crossingly inappropriate, imo.  Better to ask the person you actually know, Robert, than the lady you just met ten minutes ago. It came off as very rude to me. Maybe I'm fancy.

I don't disagree that normally Robert would be the right person to address these issues with.....but we've seen/heard Robert and he strikes me as the type to get super defensive and insist that he has the right to make as many babies as he wants and cannot afford and it's no one's business.  Even though, practically speaking it's a terrible idea.  From that perspective, I could Robert being a lost cause. 

Five kids with four women......I'm sure that after baby #2 people started telling him that he should make better decisions and he blew them all off.  Roberts attitude seems to always be defensive and know it all.  

Porn granny could wait, but while she was waiting for the sake of being courteous.....Robert and anny could be raw dogging every night thereby increasing her chances to ger pregnant so diamond may have figured it was better to bring up the inappropriate questions early on rather than too late.  

It wasn't established that granny supports Bryson/Robert.  I'd guess that she steps in financially when things are tight and she is free babysitting.  

Seeing Bryson every other weekend likely makes her as much of a mother figure as that poor little boy has ever had. 

[lovesnark]

Mike and Natalie do seem to really like each other. But, his secret large amount of debt and her secret desire to get pregnant NOW doesn't seem like the best avenue to a happy relationship. I fell asleep before the episode was over. Did they find out what was going on with her visa? 

The convo between Grandma and Anny was surely producer driven. But, Anny was in royal bitch mode on the drive to the park and didn't even want to meet Bryson's grandparents. She just seems like grouchy bitch is her usual mood. If you want her to be nice for a few minutes, you have to give her a gift. The value of the gift determines how much time you have before she reverts back to grouchy bitch.

Edited November 27, 2019 by lovesnark

[Gobi]

49 minutes ago, BallisticNikki said:

I would hope by this stage of the game, most ppl can control themselves for a few months without cheating. Am I in the minority here?

What, do you expect him to be a monk?

11 minutes ago, lovesnark said:

The convo between Grandma and Anny was surely producer driven. But, Anny was in royal bitch mode on the drive to the park and didn't even want to meet Bryson's grandparents. She just seems like grouchy bitch is her usual mood. If you want her to be nice for a few minutes, you have to give her a gift. The value of the gift determines how much time you have before she reverts back to grouchy bitch.

I wonder if Anny already knew about Grandma’s career before the car ride, and the producers had her pretend otherwise?

[Mrs. Hanson]

12 hours ago, DaphneCat said:

Re: Robert and Anny.   If you marry a man with kids, it should be a given that their needs come first. 

Go drive to Baraboo Wisconsin and tell that to Leida.  

@Apollo I am having trouble quoting but I agree 100% agree on men desiring youth and beauty and women wanting security.  Hubs and I are both 54 and when we talk about retirement, he focuses on "things" like a boat to fish from, expanding his hunting cabin, etc, and I am over here saying:  "I want SECURE investments via my pension and IRA."  

[Jel]

9 minutes ago, RealReality said:

I don't disagree that normally Robert would be the right person to address these issues with.....but we've seen/heard Robert and he strikes me as the type to get super defensive and insist that he has the right to make as many babies as he wants and cannot afford and it's no one's business.  Even though, practically speaking it's a terrible idea.  From that perspective, I could Robert being a lost cause. 

Five kids with four women......I'm sure that after baby #2 people started telling him that he should make better decisions and he blew them all off.  Roberts attitude seems to always be defensive and know it all.  

Porn granny could wait, but while she was waiting for the sake of being courteous.....Robert and anny could be raw dogging every night thereby increasing her chances to ger pregnant so diamond may have figured it was better to bring up the inappropriate questions early on rather than too late.  

It wasn't established that granny supports Bryson/Robert.  I'd guess that she steps in financially when things are tight and she is free babysitting.  

Seeing Bryson every other weekend likely makes her as much of a mother figure as that poor little boy has ever had. 

Thanks for answering, RealReality. I'm just trying to tease out what is factually accurate (as seen on the show anyway) from what is speculation/assumption.

Asking Anny if she's on birth control would in no way guarantee that she would not get pregnant.  Besides, it's not her place to say how many kids Anny should have, or when, even if she's asking because she's solely concerned for Bryson. It's just not something she has any control over, and it's a futile exercise that's only going to result in someone's nose being out of joint. And I say this as someone who is really, really hoping Anny is not trying to get pregnant with Robert.  I felt there was an accusatory undertone in the question. If she's wondering if Anny was just using Robert and a potential pregnancy for a green card, I think that's a legitimate thing to wonder about, but that's not how you ask. 

In my view, seeing a small child once every two weeks puts one solidly in the grandparent figure category. It may be the closest he gets, but to me, it doesn't rise to a mother-level. YMMV.

[Spike]

41 minutes ago, Apollo said:

It's an unfortunate and harsh reality that the main commodity for a woman is youth, fertility and beauty and for men, it's their ability to provide and protect with their wealth/resources and in some cases, their physical strength.

This may have been the case 50 or 60 years ago, but I don’t think it reflects contemporary attitudes.

[Spike]

25 minutes ago, Apollo said:

When I was in junior high school, my friend, who was about 13 like me, was one of these "roadies".  While hanging out at her house one afternoon, my friend showed me all these photos of her sister posing with Van Halen and also, in other photos, Motley Crew. (nothing lewd, just group photos of them all drinking/partying.)  My friend's sister was not 18 -- she would have been no older than 15/16 at the time.  She was gone weeks at a time, following several bands who were on tour.  They had no father at home, so I imagine that's how she got away with this, with her Mom having to work and no doubt, her Mom must have been very worried.  I don't know all the details of that actually.

I remember being so stunned to see all these "stars" I'd watch on MTV, which was still a novelty back then, partying with someone who was just a normal girl living in my ordinary little neighborhood.      Her sister was attractive, but really just looked like an innocent "girl next door" type.  I was also too young to even question what was going on!  LOL  It never even occurred to me to wonder if these grown men were having sex with my friend's sister, along with other young girls. I hadn't even held a boy's hand at that point in my life.

Money really has a way of buying these pervs a "get out of jail free" pass, sometimes for life... look at that vile epstein and those of his ilk.  

Roadies are the people who help set up and tear down the stage.  Groupies are the fans who party with the band.

Edited November 27, 2019 by Spike

[lovesnark]

11 minutes ago, Apollo said:

Who is this Bojangles I keep seeing referenced?  I actually just googled it to find out and it says this "Bill "Bojangles" Robinson was the most famous of all African American tap dancers in the twentieth century" ...

so, more confused than ever!  LOL

Uncle Bojangles lives in Mike's barn. He was introduced at the same time as Mike and when Mike left for Ukraine, he was shown asking Uncle Bo to look after the farm while he was gone.

[RealReality]

28 minutes ago, Jel said:

Thanks for answering, RealReality. I'm just trying to tease out what is factually accurate (as seen on the show anyway) from what is speculation/assumption.

Asking Anny if she's on birth control would in no way guarantee that she would not get pregnant.  Besides, it's not her place to say how many kids Anny should have, or when, even if she's asking because she's solely concerned for Bryson. It's just not something she has any control over, and it's a futile exercise that's only going to result in someone's nose being out of joint. And I say this as someone who is really, really hoping Anny is not trying to get pregnant with Robert.  I felt there was an accusatory undertone in the question. If she's wondering if Anny was just using Robert and a potential pregnancy for a green card, I think that's a legitimate thing to wonder about, but that's not how you ask. 

In my view, seeing a small child once every two weeks puts one solidly in the grandparent figure category. It may be the closest he gets, but to me, it doesn't rise to a mother-level. YMMV.

Totally agree that functionally granny has no say in if, when, or how often anny gets pregnant.  

Even in the kindest light in which I view porn Granny's line of questioning.....it's AT BEST a hail Mary....

I would agree that mileage varies on what amount of time counts as a mommy figure.  I think there isn't a set answer.....some women in the service deploy and don't physically see their children for months at a time, but I think they can still be mother figures. 

And I think since porn granny is the ONLY stable female in Bryson's life, she could be a mother figure.  But, I can understand a POV that every other weekend is not enough time. 

8 minutes ago, Spike said:

This may have been the case 50 or 60 years ago, but I don’t think it reflects contemporary attitudes.

I don't know....sometimes id like a pickle, but cannot open the jar.  In such a situation a man with physical strength would be helpful.  

I try to slip in a pickle test by the third date 😉

[John M]

Something to keep in mind as well is Grandma might very well have primary custody or even sole custody of the child and is letting him stay with Robert as a courtesy.

Say what you will about Grandma's job, it appears that she is in a stable financial living situation while Robert has no permanent employment, low income, unstable income, not able to provide the child his own bedroom, a string of children that he is not in the life of. It's easy to see how that might be an uphill battle in a court case, especially if they were never married.

My understanding is that if Grandma has sole custody if she wants to let Robert spend as much time as he wants with the child, she can unless there is a protective order, but it is her right to yank the child back at any time, like, say Robert is doing something stupid like also trying to support and bring into his home an idiot gold digger that he barely knows.

[Spike]

15 minutes ago, RealReality said:

Totally agree that functionally granny has no say in if, when, or how often anny gets pregnant.  

Even in the kindest light in which I view porn Granny's line of questioning.....it's AT BEST a hail Mary....

I would agree that mileage varies on what amount of time counts as a mommy figure.  I think there isn't a set answer.....some women in the service deploy and don't physically see their children for months at a time, but I think they can still be mother figures. 

And I think since porn granny is the ONLY stable female in Bryson's life, she could be a mother figure.  But, I can understand a POV that every other weekend is not enough time. 

I don't know....sometimes id like a pickle, but cannot open the jar.  In such a situation a man with physical strength would be helpful.  

I try to slip in a pickle test by the third date 😉

Before he can slip in the pickle.

[Mrs. Hanson]

13 minutes ago, lovesnark said:

Uncle Bojangles lives in Mike's barn. He was introduced at the same time as Mike and when Mike left for Ukraine, he was shown asking Uncle Bo to look after the farm while he was gone.

Many people, including myself, thought he was calling for a dog when he called out for Bojangles.  Bojangles is in severe need of dentistry.

14 minutes ago, RealReality said:

I don't know....sometimes id like a pickle, but cannot open the jar.  In such a situation a man with physical strength would be helpful.  

I kindly ask my hubby to loosen a few jars before he leaves for a weekend.  The man tightens jars with the hand of God, I swear!!!  I once asked a male cashier to loosen a jar of spaghetti sauce before leaving a store.  Yes I am a wimp.  Luckily I don't care for pickles, lol!!!

[Spike]

1 minute ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Many people, including myself, thought he was calling for a dog when he called out for Bojangles.  Bojangles is in severe need of dentistry.

I kindly ask my hubby to loosen a few jars before he leaves for a weekend.  The man tightens jars with the hand of God, I swear!!!  I once asked a male cashier to loosen a jar of spaghetti sauce before leaving a store.  Yes I am a wimp.  Luckily I don't care for pickles, lol!!!

Now if I could only master the child proof pill bottles.

[Mrs. Hanson]

2 minutes ago, Spike said:

Now if I could only master the child proof pill bottles.

GIRL!!!!  I was ready to slice open a bottle of Aleve the other day.  I had a raging headache at the time and failure to get that thing open was not helping......

[Spike]

1 minute ago, Apollo said:

Oh, okay, thanks, so that's his name then?  ok, I had not caught that.

I think his name is Bo or Beau and the nickname is Bojangles.

[FrancescaFiore]

14 hours ago, sasha206 said:

Wonder how many people strenuously defending Grandma's profession would want their child becoming a porn star or dating one?

I don't have kids and maybe my perspective would be different if I did, but I think I'd be fine with my child dating anyone who treated them well, loved them and who contributes to the relationship equally, regardless of how they earn a living. I feel like I'd have a bigger issue with my child dating someone who was violent, had a substance abuse problem or who couldn't keep a steady job. In the grand scheme of things, I'd just want my son or daughter to be with someone who makes them happy.

[Rt66vintage]

21 hours ago, essexjan said:

Tania is the worst, and Syngin must be wondering what happened to the woman he met in South Africa now he's confronted with this entitled, demanding harridan. It would have taken a day, or a weekend at best, to clean and tidy that shed - take everything out, thoroughly clean the room, clean the furniture, put it back, vacuum the mattress thoroughly, some nice new bedding, a blind, a few lamps and a rug, and it would have been just fine.  It's inexcusable she left it dirty and full of junk until he arrived and then expected him to jump right to it.

I feel sorry for Blake. It's obvious Jasmin is only with him because her sister is already in LA and there's no other way for her to get to the USA.  He is a patsy and too stupid to realise it. He has nothing to offer her, and she will be looking for a Rodeo Drive lifestyle that he can't possibly provide.  But once she has the green card and her divorce, she'll find a rich man.

I agree with Anna's friend that there is no way of having a relationship with someone whose language you can't speak. I can only guess that she and Mursel conducted their courtship solely via Google translate, but that's no basis for a marriage, or for him making any kind of a life in the USA. I can't imagine there are many Turkish speakers in the small Midwestern town they're living in. He'll be sunk if he doesn't learn to speak English quickly. He also dissed her beekeeping skills (in Turkish, so she doesn't know. 

I really liked your post. 

Tania and Blake should hook up, their insane giggling after each comment makes my teeth hurt. Again, I can't understand why she removed a totally useful cabinet when so much else needed to be done just to have a place to sleep. Idiot woman with a bad bra. 

The issue I have with Mursel, other than the obvious dullard side of him, is you'll notice he never initiates the phone translation. The people around him are trying to be polite and personable, asking him this or that. But he cares not one iota about anyone or anything. People like him are exhausting and boring, and if it were me, I'd play along once or twice and then forget all about him and not concern myself with their silly romance. And why has he made no effort to learn any English? I guess he just likes being babied & feeling special. He has a weird stupid look on his face most of the time, lol.

[Jel]

36 minutes ago, John M said:

Something to keep in mind as well is Grandma might very well have primary custody or even sole custody of the child and is letting him stay with Robert as a courtesy.

Say what you will about Grandma's job, it appears that she is in a stable financial living situation while Robert has no permanent employment, low income, unstable income, not able to provide the child his own bedroom, a string of children that he is not in the life of. It's easy to see how that might be an uphill battle in a court case, especially if they were never married.

My understanding is that if Grandma has sole custody if she wants to let Robert spend as much time as he wants with the child, she can unless there is a protective order, but it is her right to yank the child back at any time, like, say Robert is doing something stupid like also trying to support and bring into his home an idiot gold digger that he barely knows.

With respect, John M, how does it appear that way? I didn't see anything on the show that tells me anything about her job security, the state of her finances, or any indication that she has primary or sole custody of Bryson. If you know something more about this, please do share, but from what I saw, no info of that kind was provided by the show.

I feel like Gran is getting a bit of a heroic edit in this thread, and I feel like I am missing the reason why. I just didn't see anything other than her saying she saw Bryson every two weeks, saying she was his mother figure, and asking an untoward question of a stranger. I can believe she loves Bryson and has his best interests at heart, but I'm not seeing any factual evidence of much action in that regard. But again, I admit I could be missing something, so someone please enlighten me if you know more 🙂

[Scarlett45]

33 minutes ago, Apollo said:

This is a biological reality. The majority of women still have the inherent drive to protect themselves by putting themselves in the most secure position available to raise children and protect their children as well and the majority of men still have the need to acquire the resources to protect them.  Yes, other factors come into play, but we all still have these instincts, the majority anyway, even if it's expressed in a multitude of ways. 

I understand what you’re saying, and I agree that these rules are true in a basic heteronormative frame work. 
 

Of course there are 7 billion human beings on this planet and humans have free will. I agree with you and that you’re acknowledging while an individual can make individual choices (especially since not all people operate in this heteronormative frame work that this applies), the social TREND still stands. 
 

We do often see on this show a bunch of transactional relationships where women trade youth/beauty/fertility for a more secure social status/economic opportunity with men that aren’t able to attract such women with similar economic opportunities to themselves. Aka poor young woman from impoverished country is into a not so attractive or rich guy because he can offer her more stability that men in her peer group at home can, but to women in his peer group within the USA he’s not that much of a catch. 

[FrancescaFiore]

4 minutes ago, Jel said:

I feel like Gran is getting a bit of a heroic edit in this thread, and I feel like I am missing the reason why.

It's not so much that Gran is a hero, but she did step up to represent Bryson's mother's side of the family in his life and she didn't have to do that. We can't know what sort of financial support she might provide for Bryson's care, but just her being a consistent presence in his life is hugely beneficial to him.

I think her questions to Anny that were considered rude weren't necessarily inappropriate questions to have, but they were asked way too prematurely. "Hi, nice to meet you. Bee-tee-dubs, I'm a pornstar and I'm going to ask you some incredibly personal questions now," is not the smartest way to express concern for Bryson. The questions are valid, but they were asked clumsily and that ramped up the tension between Gran and Anny. Anny is also easily triggered to WAY OVER REACT, so it was just a perfect storm of bad ideas executed poorly.

[Spike]

Well one nice thing I can say about porn granny is that she is obviously not superficial in her choice of a husband, who is no Adonis.  Can anyone place his accent?  It seemed Southern rural, but I couldn’t pin it down more than that.

[Scarlett45]

3 minutes ago, Spike said:

Well one nice thing I can say about porn granny is that she is obviously not superficial in her choice of a husband, who is no Adonis.  Can anyone place his accent?  It seemed Southern rural, but I couldn’t pin it down more than that.

Ha! Lol. Well if they’ve been married a while (as in that’s the bio grandfather to Bryson) he may have been better looking when they got together. 

[BallisticNikki]

3 hours ago, Gobi said:

What, do you expect him to be a monk?

No. To abstain from sex while his fiance is away for a few weeks.

3 hours ago, RealReality said:

Porn granny could wait, but while she was waiting for the sake of being courteous.....Robert and anny could be raw dogging every night thereby increasing her chances to ger pregnant so diamond may have figured it was better to bring up the inappropriate questions early on rather than too late. 

Wow. I think this is what they call in psychology "enmeshment." 🤨

2 hours ago, John M said:

Something to keep in mind as well is Grandma might very well have primary custody or even sole custody of the child and is letting him stay with Robert as a courtesy.

Say what you will about Grandma's job, it appears that she is in a stable financial living situation while Robert has no permanent employment, low income, unstable income, not able to provide the child his own bedroom, a string of children that he is not in the life of. It's easy to see how that might be an uphill battle in a court case, especially if they were never married.

My understanding is that if Grandma has sole custody if she wants to let Robert spend as much time as he wants with the child, she can unless there is a protective order, but it is her right to yank the child back at any time, like, say Robert is doing something stupid like also trying to support and bring into his home an idiot gold digger that he barely knows.

OMG. Where are you getting this stuff? He may be supporting all of his children. He may be doing fine financially. Grandma may be living dick hand-to-mouth. He and the boy may have preferred co-sleeping and there was no need for a bed. We don't know any of this stuff. Do you personally know Porn-ma? You seem very invested in this. 

Advancing all these theories and misinformation kinda skews the conversation. Readers get confused and think they missed part of the story.

2 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

I kindly ask my hubby to loosen a few jars before he leaves for a weekend.  The man tightens jars with the hand of God, I swear!!!  I once asked a male cashier to loosen a jar of spaghetti sauce before leaving a store.  Yes I am a wimp.  Luckily I don't care for pickles, lol!!!

Are we still actually talking about literal glass jars here...or something more?🤨😅

56 minutes ago, Spike said:

Well one nice thing I can say about porn granny is that she is obviously not superficial in her choice of a husband, who is no Adonis.  Can anyone place his accent?  It seemed Southern rural, but I couldn’t pin it down more than that.

What?? I thought he was the better looking of the two! 😆

Edited November 27, 2019 by BallisticNikki

[John M]

50 minutes ago, BallisticNikki said:

OMG. Where are you getting this stuff? He may be supporting all of his children. He may be doing fine financially. 

Because I know what Uber drivers make and at best it is a barely living pay for a household of one, so unless there is a trust fund that hasn't been mentioned and he just chooses to have a cheap bedspread with a giant stain on it and very little home decor he isn't doing well.

[BallisticNikki]

2 minutes ago, John M said:

Because I know what Uber drivers make and at best it is a barely living pay for a household of one, so unless there is a trust fund that hasn't been mentioned and he just chooses to have a cheap bedspread with a giant stain on it and very little home decor he isn't doing well.

He would have to be doing ok to get approved for the k1. I doubt he'd be approved if he had warrants out due to nonpayment of child support. I think drivers can do OK, depending on the area. We just don't know anything about his finances. He may have received a survivor benefit from 9/11.  He may have inherited money. He may have won a lawsuit. He may collect some kind of entitlement. He may work a lot. He may have a side hustle. He may sell drugs. He may sell plasma. We just don't know. They may disclose more of his story in the coming weeks. Stay tuned!

[sasha206]

2 hours ago, Jel said:

With respect, John M, how does it appear that way? I didn't see anything on the show that tells me anything about her job security, the state of her finances, or any indication that she has primary or sole custody of Bryson. If you know something more about this, please do share, but from what I saw, no info of that kind was provided by the show.

I feel like Gran is getting a bit of a heroic edit in this thread, and I feel like I am missing the reason why. I just didn't see anything other than her saying she saw Bryson every two weeks, saying she was his mother figure, and asking an untoward question of a stranger. I can believe she loves Bryson and has his best interests at heart, but I'm not seeing any factual evidence of much action in that regard. But again, I admit I could be missing something, so someone please enlighten me if you know more 🙂

Exactly.  From what we've seen, we have no idea if porn provides that great of a living for grandmother.   The only thing we know is that she asked probing questions of a mail-order bride.  We have no way of knowing whether she is financially stable or even a stable influence in Bryson's life.  And from what was shared on the show, the daughter she birthed doesn't have anything to do with the son she birthed which could make you question how great an influence she was to her daughter.

I understand there are some on this thread that are offended on the judgment of the grandmother because of her profession, but I don't understand making grand assumptions that she's this empowered, financially stable woman b/c of her profession.

Edited November 27, 2019 by sasha206

[Spike]

24 minutes ago, BallisticNikki said:

He would have to be doing ok to get approved for the k1. I doubt he'd be approved if he had warrants out due to nonpayment of child support. I think drivers can do OK, depending on the area. We just don't know anything about his finances. He may have received a survivor benefit from 9/11.  He may have inherited money. He may have won a lawsuit. He may collect some kind of entitlement. He may work a lot. He may have a side hustle. He may sell drugs. He may sell plasma. We just don't know. They may disclose more of his story in the coming weeks. Stay tuned!

He may be a gigolo.  Take me to your island paradise!

[Jel]

1 minute ago, sasha206 said:

Exactly.  From what we've seen, we have no idea if porn provides that great of a living for grandmother.   The only thing we know is that she asked probing questions of a mail-order bride.  We have no way of knowing whether she is financially stable or even a stable influence in Bryson's life.  And from what was shared on the show, the daughter she birthed doesn't have anything to do with the son she birthed.   

I understand there are some on this thread that are offended on the judgment of the grandmother because of her profession, but I don't understand making grand assumptions that she's this empowered, financially stable woman b/c of her profession.

Right, and I even question the assumption that if she has tons of money, she's spending it on Bryson. What have we been shown that would lead us to that conclusion? 

It's like the old "hooker with a heart of gold" trope or something. Her profession doesn't make her a bad person, but neither does it make her a good person. Shrug.

[RealReality]

3 hours ago, Spike said:

Before he can slip in the pickle.

Ha ha I wanted to see if you picked up on that and I was not disappointed!

3 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Many people, including myself, thought he was calling for a dog when he called out for Bojangles.  Bojangles is in severe need of dentistry.

I kindly ask my hubby to loosen a few jars before he leaves for a weekend.  The man tightens jars with the hand of God, I swear!!!  I once asked a male cashier to loosen a jar of spaghetti sauce before leaving a store.  Yes I am a wimp.  Luckily I don't care for pickles, lol!!!

Bojangles may be beyond dentistry at this point.....but I watched an episode of MSNBC lock up and one of the inmates said he played the harmonica better without front teeth...so maybe there is a silver lining?

I'm perpetually worried germs and spills so I overdo it when I tighten jars....and then I'm somehow surprised when I cannot get them open.  

Maybe I need to import zieds soccer friend

[RealReality]

1 hour ago, BallisticNikki said:

No. To abstain from sex while his fiance is away for a few weeks.

Wow. I think this is what they call in psychology "enmeshment." 🤨

OMG. Where are you getting this stuff? He may be supporting all of his children. He may be doing fine financially. Grandma may be living dick hand-to-mouth. He and the boy may have preferred co-sleeping and there was no need for a bed. We don't know any of this stuff. Do you personally know Porn-ma? You seem very invested in this. 

Advancing all these theories and misinformation kinda skews the conversation. Readers get confused and think they missed part of the story.

Are we still actually talking about literal glass jars here...or something more?🤨😅

What?? I thought he was the better looking of the two! 😆

Maybe there is a psychological term for it, but for me, realistically....these seem like valid concerns. 

The reason it's called a hail Mary is because there is a very slim chance it'll work.....but...there's a chance!  The risk of upsetting anny, for porn granny, may have been worth the potential reward however slim, of making anny change her behavior. 

Having seen Robert, I don't think there is any chance he would ever listen to reason. 

If people can't separate what was on the show from what wasn't on the show, that's on them, IMO  We're all watching the same show, so we should all recognize what was on the show or not....or we were watching with barely any interest in which case, it likely doesn't really matter either way.  

Its a forum about a show, I think as long as we're talking about the participants and the show, I don't think the conversation is skewed.  One of the things I really enjoy about the forum is all the places it goes. 

[RealReality]

59 minutes ago, BallisticNikki said:

He would have to be doing ok to get approved for the k1. I doubt he'd be approved if he had warrants out due to nonpayment of child support. I think drivers can do OK, depending on the area. We just don't know anything about his finances. He may have received a survivor benefit from 9/11.  He may have inherited money. He may have won a lawsuit. He may collect some kind of entitlement. He may work a lot. He may have a side hustle. He may sell drugs. He may sell plasma. We just don't know. They may disclose more of his story in the coming weeks. Stay tuned!

We do know that he at least makes 26k a year.  He could do all those things and it's possible he is financially stable.  But he does often talk about how many things he CANT afford.  Money also is not falling out of his ass, though I take his word for it. 

Someone looked it up and apparently owing child support is not a bar to a K1.  I can't remember who, but the issue of not being able to get a passport when you owed back support came up. 

And sometimes rather than go through the courts people will have a sort of "gentleman's agreement" about child support.  Sometimes it is that money will be sent as available and needed and that eventually dwindles down to nothing.  It's no use trying to get blood out of a stone, so in those situations a parent may not think it's worth it to go through legal channels.  

I realize that this is all speculative, but I don't think it's unreasonable to infer that Robert is broke based on what we've seen. 

[FrancescaFiore]

56 minutes ago, sasha206 said:

I understand there are some on this thread that are offended on the judgment of the grandmother because of her profession, but I don't understand making grand assumptions that she's this empowered, financially stable woman b/c of her profession.

I get the judgment. People have all kinds of hangups about sex, especially Americans. While I don't profess to know whether or not porn has been a lucrative profession for her, we also don't know what her level of contribution to Bryson's life is. It appeared that they have a close relationship and that she's made an effort to be present consistently for him. That should stand alone, regardless of how she earns a living. I guess I'm just saying being a loving grandmother and being a pornstar are not mutually exclusive. I think we can all agree on that.

And I'm curious whether anyone here would have even batted an eye at her interaction with Bryson had she not been forthcoming about what she does for a living so that Anny wouldn't have to find out online or somewhere else where Gran wouldn't be there to answer any questions or alleviate any concerns. It was smart to tell Anny that right away. The intrusive personal questions could and should have waited. 

[BallisticNikki]

23 minutes ago, RealReality said:

Someone looked it up and apparently owing child support is not a bar to a K1.  I can't remember who, but the issue of not being able to get a passport when you owed back support came up. 

And sometimes rather than go through the courts people will have a sort of "gentleman's agreement" about child support.  Sometimes it is that money will be sent as available and needed and that eventually dwindles down to nothing.  It's no use trying to get blood out of a stone, so in those situations a parent may not think it's worth it to go through legal channels.  

I realize that this is all speculative, but I don't think it's unreasonable to infer that Robert is broke based on what we've seen. 

You're ok if you owe a balance but are actively paying. You're not OK when you have not made a payment in four months or longer.

[BallisticNikki]

41 minutes ago, RealReality said:

Its a forum about a show, I think as long as we're talking about the participants and the show, I don't think the conversation is skewed.  One of the things I really enjoy about the forum is all the places it goes. 

Just in the past few pages readers have asked, "wait, when did they say that?....Oh I didn't know she had custody....No, some one said she was married to her kids' father so that can't be the case..." Just repeating untrue speculations. Like they're writing their own show. Can't really discuss it then.

[magemaud]

7 hours ago, Ki-in said:

How can Tania think it's okay at all to leave Syngyn alone for a month!!!! First of all it's inconsiderate and rude, second he is so sweet and fine but out of sight out of mind. He'll be bored and lonely and prime for another woman setting her sights on him and she'll have a month to make it happen

She may put her two BFFs in charge of policing him. 

[RealReality]

12 minutes ago, BallisticNikki said:

Just in the past few pages readers have asked, "wait, when did they say that?....Oh I didn't know she had custody....No, some one said she was married to her kids' father so that can't be the case..." Just repeating untrue speculations. Like they're writing their own show. Can't really discuss it then.

If someone cannot differentiate what was on the show and what wasn't that shouldn't stop everyone elses conversation (s), IMO.  

Any speculative comments I've read have been prefaced with qualifiers to let the reader know that it is based on the posters presumption or inference based on what they have seen, or their knowledge or experience. 

I think the discussion about the show can go far and wide because the show touches on a lot of issues.  I think if you don't want to discuss a topic or someone's opinion/speculation then the poster has the right to do that. 

But IMO, it's a forum about the show, which can encompass a number of opinions and speculative theories.  When people are confused, they ask for clarification, so I don't see the problem.  

[magemaud]

4 hours ago, Spike said:

I think his name is Bo or Beau and the nickname is Bojangles.

My closed captioning showed his name as "Uncle Beau" and then when Mike was calling him out of his cabin, he said something like "Hey, Bojangles, where are you?" 

[magemaud]

2 hours ago, BallisticNikki said:

He may have a side hustle. He may sell drugs. He may sell plasma.

He may sell Super Sperm! 

[RealReality]

1 hour ago, Jel said:

Right, and I even question the assumption that if she has tons of money, she's spending it on Bryson. What have we been shown that would lead us to that conclusion? 

It's like the old "hooker with a heart of gold" trope or something. Her profession doesn't make her a bad person, but neither does it make her a good person. Shrug.

There are posters in here who know more about hair....,but porn granny seemed well dressed, her hair and makeup looked nice. 

Her hair at least looked like it had been professionally cared for, because it was healthy and long and the color looked nice and even. 

I thought her teeth looked well cared for.  

I think a lot of these things take money,  and stuff can go downhill if you don't invest money in them as you age.

So I don't think it's unreasonable to assume she is doing....okay financially.  

[DiamondGirl]

40 minutes ago, RealReality said:

There are posters in here who know more about hair....,but porn granny seemed well dressed, her hair and makeup looked nice. 

Her hair at least looked like it had been professionally cared for, because it was healthy and long and the color looked nice and even. 

I thought her teeth looked well cared for.  

I think a lot of these things take money,  and stuff can go downhill if you don't invest money in them as you age.

So I don't think it's unreasonable to assume she is doing....okay financially.  

I’m sure she needs to keep her appearance top notch because of work.  But she could live in a broken down trailer (or shed) that’s a mess for all we know.

[bravofan27]

Bryson is a cutie. Someone suggested that Robert wanted a wife because for the first time he has to take care of a kid, and he needs some help. He's superficial and vapid, but cheap, so he got a girl from a poor country, thinking she would be grateful to be in the US and didn't realize people from other countries aren't dumb. I think Robert, being a box of rocks, thought that she wouldn't know good clothes from thrift store clothes, and she could be easily fooled. 
 

I don't think Anna is that bad. I think she has a good heart, and doesn't have major expectations. I mean, she's still there. She just wants to be romanced and be treated special, like any girl, and Robert low-balled her big time. He must be super great in bed that she is even still there. I'm sure grandma knows and that's why she's around as well. Which is gross, but sadly probably true.

Anna is more quiet, and not super verbal, made more prominent by her lack of English. But she's definitely not stupid and she is really being tested with Robert's weird ass life. Compare with Julianne who is marrying someone that has money and adores her-- I think Anna was expecting more of that type of treatment.

Edited November 28, 2019 by bravofan27

[Jel]

1 hour ago, RealReality said:

There are posters in here who know more about hair....,but porn granny seemed well dressed, her hair and makeup looked nice. 

Her hair at least looked like it had been professionally cared for, because it was healthy and long and the color looked nice and even. 

I thought her teeth looked well cared for.  

I think a lot of these things take money,  and stuff can go downhill if you don't invest money in them as you age.

So I don't think it's unreasonable to assume she is doing....okay financially.  

I agree she appeared well groomed, and that grooming costs $$ as do nice teeth. 

So she seems to have enough money to spend it on that stuff, let's accept that as evidence she's doing okay financially, but how do we know she's spending any money on Bryson? There was some speculation upthread that she was providing for him monitarily. Maybe she is, I'm certainly open to the idea that she is, I just, at this point, don't see a reason to think she is or isn't, based on what we have seen on the show.  I'd be as puzzled by a comment like, "Cheapo Grandma doesn't even buy Bryson a birthday present!" for the same reason -- lack of evidence presented.

I'm open to the idea that she's a really great grandma, I just, so far, have not seen any reason to make that assumption.

[Mu Shu]

On 11/25/2019 at 12:37 AM, Frozendiva said:

Michael and Juliana - the Princess Leia mini bunnies looked silly and Juliana looked 15 wearing them. It was sweet to play with the kids and get to know them. That is it for now. The whole parenting discussion should have been only Michael, his former wife, and Juliana. And any prospective new mate with Michael's ex. They can go over things like house rules, use of devices/phones, etc., homework, that sort of thing. I wouldn't expect to be someone's insta-step-parent. That's a lot of pressure when I don't even know the kids. Has anyone asked Juliana if she wants to be a step-parent? Is the plan to see the kids only on weekends?

Anna and Mursel - he really needs to take some ESL classes to be able to communicate with her. I liked the bees scene. The party with the friends was a bit of a disaster and Anna should have been more of a partner to him than set him up to flail around on his own.

Robert and Anny - hello disaster. They continue to be ill-suited and just don't seem to really get along. She doesn't seem like she is invested in him except for a Green Card. His ex mother in law or whoever she is was pretty direct with her - and it wasn't something you'd chat about with someone you have just met. No sense of boundaries. Anny still likes being a victim. She cared about Robert's Facebook with photos of his other kids - she knew about the 4 other kids and still wanted him? No wage garnishment for support for them or anything? Having an argument at the restaurant was a bit rude - the other patrons don't need to hear it. I'd have been on the first flight out that I could get.

Mike and Natalie - Natalie, you may want babies galore but that is something you need to talk to about with Mike himself. The two of you do seem semi-real, but I don't think you are going to like giving up the fun and nightlife at home to go to a farm. Your friends can say what they like, but you ultimately make your own choices. Her mother seemed sweet. Maybe she will make him some good Ukrainian food.

Blake and Jasmin - Blake, you are too yellow-haired, too big of a smile, too giggly. Jasmin's sister who looked a bit plastic-enhanced lives 10 minutes from you? Blake lives with his mom still? Jasmin's sister didn't seem too happy to see her and Jasmin herself seemed detached from Blake. Both have had a few procedures already. She may be tired after the long flight over, but I don't know why they are together.

Tania and Syngin - The Boss will not be disturbed. Her novel has been planned and Syngin is just the poor player on her stage. She was exhausted from doing a bit of paperwork and had no energy to even do anything to the she-shed to make it liveable for him. Shame on her. A few weekends with some of her friends could have fixed it up nicely - and not be a hoarder type hovel for him to be greeted with. This is the real America for ya, dude. Syngin, don't have any thoughts of your own, ideas of your own, etc. Don't see them lasting until both are in the same page of the same book. Maybe he can make some deal for a free camper van and head off on his own.

At this point, I’m tempted to buy my neighbor’s unused yet perfectly maintained camper van for Slim Jim just to get him away from that lumpen nut job.  He seems like a decent guy, and good looking. She’s an unremarkable looking weirdo with a palpable anxiety disorder fully on display. Wouldn’t be surprised if she showed up on Hoarders. Part of their backyard looked suspect to me. Probably why he has to stay in the shed.

[Jel]

2 hours ago, FrancescaFiore said:

I get the judgment. People have all kinds of hangups about sex, especially Americans. While I don't profess to know whether or not porn has been a lucrative profession for her, we also don't know what her level of contribution to Bryson's life is. It appeared that they have a close relationship and that she's made an effort to be present consistently for him. That should stand alone, regardless of how she earns a living. I guess I'm just saying being a loving grandmother and being a pornstar are not mutually exclusive. I think we can all agree on that.

And I'm curious whether anyone here would have even batted an eye at her interaction with Bryson had she not been forthcoming about what she does for a living so that Anny wouldn't have to find out online or somewhere else where Gran wouldn't be there to answer any questions or alleviate any concerns. It was smart to tell Anny that right away. The intrusive personal questions could and should have waited. 

I think I may have to go to the vault for this one, unless someone else remembers the sequence of events, because I am curious, too. I said Bryson's reaction to her (his lack of excitement to see her, etc.) immediately sent a red flag up for me. Did that happen before or after she mentioned she is an adult film star? If my red flag went up before she mentioned it, then I don't think it influenced my opinion.  If I first learned she was an adult film star and then saw Bryson's reaction and my red flag went up, then it's possible her job influenced my opinion.

I'm getting a "the only reason anyone would have a problem with anything Gran said or did is because she works as an adult film performer" vibe, and I sincerely don't believe that is true. I'd find her boundary crossing question just as boundary crossing if she were a university professor or a factory worker. 

[bravofan27]

Porn star granny is  young. She look old because of all her work on her face, but she's only a few years older than Robert. The fact that she brought up right away that she was a porn star is a red flag that she wants attention, IMO. She wants all the conversation to be about her. And she got it. Not many 46 year old women have settled on porn as a career. The porn industry is not a good place to be working in, so it's odd that someone would be able to subject themselves to the abuse for so long. She can't be mentally okay. Not because she has sex for money, but because the sex for money industry treats women terribly, and it's getting worse as people want more violence in their porn. If she is working for people that create porn that people pay for, it's probably shockingly degrading.

[FrancescaFiore]

46 minutes ago, Jel said:

I'd find her boundary crossing question just as boundary crossing if she were a university professor or a factory worker. 

Totally agree on that front. Had she not mentioned working in porn, but still asked the same questions, I would definitely be taken aback. She did come on like gangbusters and it was.. a lot. Combined with Anny's almost cartoonish overreactions, that meeting was bound to go poorly. 

[Spike]

1 hour ago, bravofan27 said:

Bryson is a cutie. Someone suggested that Robert wanted a wife because for the first time he has to take care of a kid, and he needs some help. He's superficial and vapid, but cheap, so he got a girl from a poor country, thinking she would be grateful to be in the US and didn't realize people from other countries aren't dumb. I think Robert, being a box of rocks, thought that she wouldn't know good clothes from thrift store clothes, and she could be easily fooled. 
 

I don't think Anna is that bad. I think she has a good heart, and doesn't have major expectations. I mean, she's still there. She just wants to be romanced and be treated special, like any girl, and Robert low-balled her big time. He must be super great in bed that she is even still there. I'm sure grandma knows and that's why she's around as well. Which is gross, but sadly probably true.

Anna is more quiet, and not super verbal, made more prominent by her lack of English. But she's definitely not stupid and she is really being tested with Robert's weird ass life. Compare with Julianne who is marrying someone that has money and adores her-- I think Anna was expecting more of that type of treatment.

Anny.  Anna is the bee keeper.

1 hour ago, Jel said:

I think I may have to go to the vault for this one, unless someone else remembers the sequence of events, because I am curious, too. I said Bryson's reaction to her (his lack of excitement to see her, etc.) immediately sent a red flag up for me. Did that happen before or after she mentioned she is an adult film star? If my red flag went up before she mentioned it, then I don't think it influenced my opinion.  If I first learned she was an adult film star and then saw Bryson's reaction and my red flag went up, then it's possible her job influenced my opinion.

I'm getting a "the only reason anyone would have a problem with anything Gran said or did is because she works as an adult film performer" vibe, and I sincerely don't believe that is true. I'd find her boundary crossing question just as boundary crossing if she were a university professor or a factory worker. 

Sorry misread.

Edited November 28, 2019 by Spike

[DanaMB]

6 hours ago, John M said:

Because I know what Uber drivers make and at best it is a barely living pay for a household of one, so unless there is a trust fund that hasn't been mentioned and he just chooses to have a cheap bedspread with a giant stain on it and very little home decor he isn't doing well.

And his kid doesn’t have his own bed, let alone his own room. 

[Callaphera]

5 hours ago, sasha206 said:

I understand there are some on this thread that are offended on the judgment of the grandmother because of her profession, but I don't understand making grand assumptions that she's this empowered, financially stable woman b/c of her profession.

Is it really any different from the weeks of speculation that Juliana was a child-trafficked prostitute who gave blowies on the reg when she was 13 on the yacht circuit? There were an awful lot of grand assumptions made about her - now because she's sweet with Michael's kids and put adorable buns in his daughter's hair, it's calmed down but it went pretty hot and heavy for the first two weeks.

I don't think it's that far gone to assume that Grandma is more financially stable than Robert, who seems to prioritize lingerie purchases (for his benefit) and grape Nerds over a separate bed for his kid or first-hand clothes for his fiancée. Grandma was nicely dressed, clear eyed and clear skinned, and spoke and carried herself well. She may be the second classiest person I've ever seen on this show (Michael's ex-wife is currently in the lead for that title). 

[MakingBacon]

I am wondering if Bryson actually lives with granny and Robert is the one who had him twice a month. Maybe that’s why Bryson doesn’t have his own bed. If anything Robert’s place doesn’t even look like a kid, or anyone, lives there. I also don’t understand how Robert has five children as he seems so low energy I cannot imagine him having sex with anyone. 

I will give Michael and the ex credit, they don’t come off as people who hate each other. They do seem to be completely over each other and it’s basically about the kids. It also seems like Michael really wants his ex wife’s approval. Since I am feeling highly suspicious today. I wonder if the ex is the one who was funding the fancy lifestyle. I also wonder if Michael’s house has packing boxes because he was living with the ex after his divorce and moved to this place once he was cast on the show. 

I think Mursel is disappointed in the beekeeping exchange program he enrolled in and is counting down the days until the semester is over. I don’t understand being so desperate you will try to form a relationship with a man who is hoping, and pushing, for you to leave your kids and move to Another country. If Anna thinks this trip will make Mursel want to stay with her and be a dad to get kids, she is more delusional than I thought possible.

Maybe Tania’s master plan is to leave for a month because Syngin will have forgotten how awful she is while she is gone. This is probably a Tania test and she will leave him with a Syngin-Do list that he must finish to prove his love.