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S01.E09: We Were Beggars, Now We Are Choosers


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After Abishola gives her previous suitor, Chukwuemeka (Tony Tambi), a Nigerian pharmacist, a second chance, Uncle Tunde goes behind Auntie Olu's back to warn Bob about the other man who's courting his niece.

Airdate: 11/25/2019

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Aww. I really enjoyed this episode. 

I liked the cafeteria scene where Abisola and her friends were discussing the pharmacist's name. I still can't pronounce it, lol. 

I loved Uncle Tunde coming to see Bob, demanding cookies, and flashing his lights outside his house, haha. I also loved him standing up to his wife and then the scene of him ringing Bob's doorbell after she threw him out, heh, I really like how Bob just went with it and invited him in to sleep on his couch. 

I'm glad Dottie realizes that Abishola is good people and has encouraged her son to get his act together and ask her out again. 

The scene where Abishola told Bob that you're supposed to fight for the people you care about was well done. Hopefully Bob wakes up and those two can get together. 

Also, Bob at the pharmacy admiring Chukwuemeka's looks and the fact that he carries MaxDot socks was funny. 

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49 minutes ago, jewel21 said:

Also, Bob at the pharmacy admiring Chukwuemeka's looks and the fact that he carries MaxDot socks was funny. 

Since Bob and Abishola are endgame, can Chukweumeka and Bob be bffs?

2 hours ago, SoMuchTV said:

Ugggh it’s sorta growing on me. Can’t exactly explain why. 

Ugh, I know.  I guess the racist rant is just going to continue to disappear in the rear view mirror.

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4 hours ago, jewel21 said:

The scene where Abishola told Bob that you're supposed to fight for the people you care about was well done. Hopefully Bob wakes up and those two can get together. 

I didn't like this part, Bob's feelings are clearly defined whereas Abishola's feelings are kind of hazy. Abishola's telling Bob to fight is the opposite of the message "No means No!". I feel that Abishola is the one that needs to fight to make sure she ends up where she wants and with what she wants.

Abishola is very clear what she likes and doesn't like around Bob, to the point of being rude and pushy. Abishola turns into a fawning fan girl every time she gets a compliment from Chewbacca-wakka-way (Chukwuemeka).

I don't know how somebody who just watches the show casually will be able to follow the story line. You really have to see each episode to even begin to know what's going on. Most "comedies" do not require such dedicated viewing.  I hope this doesn't hurt the viewship if people can't tune in whenever, just for a quick laugh.

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5 hours ago, AnimeMania said:
10 hours ago, jewel21 said:

The scene where Abishola told Bob that you're supposed to fight for the people you care about was well done. Hopefully Bob wakes up and those two can get together. 

I didn't like this part, Bob's feelings are clearly defined whereas Abishola's feelings are kind of hazy. Abishola's telling Bob to fight is the opposite of the message "No means No!". I feel that Abishola is the one that needs to fight to make sure she ends up where she wants and with what she wants.

I was a little sad when Abishola told Bob he needed to fight for what he wants (her) because she didn’t seem to grasp that Bob thought she would be happier with C. and so his acquiescing was a sign of love. But that’s probably also a reason why I have lived alone for most of my life, so what do I know. 

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19 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

I was a little sad when Abishola told Bob he needed to fight for what he wants (her) because she didn’t seem to grasp that Bob thought she would be happier with C. and so his acquiescing was a sign of love. But that’s probably also a reason why I have lived alone for most of my life, so what do I know. 

I think Bob's acquiescing could have been a sign of giving up because he doesn't feel worthy of her more than love.  Or recognizing that if she is willing to date other people she's really not ready for a relationship with him so he might think he needs to step back until when and if she is.

On another note, at least there was some reference to Bob's mother being eligible for some aftercare in a facility.  And of course Bob is against it, but why I have no idea as it would probably be better for her on at least a short-term basis.  Rehab. facilities are nothing like Bob is acting like they are.  They're not old age homes where they send people to be abused and die.  In fact, they're just the opposite if you pick a facility with a good reputation.  And what are we talking about, a few weeks?  Geesh.  But of course, the show has to make Bob look dead set against it so they can keep his mother home to create more show fodder.  Whatever.....I think it's lame.  I'm still not loving the stroke plot.  

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8 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

On another note, at least there was some reference to Bob's mother being eligible for some aftercare in a facility.  And of course Bob is against it, but why I have no idea as it would probably be better for her on at least a short-term basis.  Rehab. facilities are nothing like Bob is acting like they are.  They're not old age homes where they send people to be abused and die.  In fact, they're just the opposite if you pick a facility with a good reputation.  And what are we talking about, a few weeks?

My dad had a major stroke nearly 30 years ago.  He spent a couple of weeks in the hospital while they waited for an opening at the recommended rehab facility.  He was retired, but he got physical therapy plus training so he could take care of himself when he was released.   He was in the rehab facility for about 6 weeks.  That's what Dottie needs, just for a few weeks.

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5 minutes ago, zoey1996 said:

My dad had a major stroke nearly 30 years ago.  He spent a couple of weeks in the hospital while they waited for an opening at the recommended rehab facility.  He was retired, but he got physical therapy plus training so he could take care of himself when he was released.   He was in the rehab facility for about 6 weeks.  That's what Dottie needs, just for a few weeks.

Yep, I mentioned last week that my own father had about 3 weeks of rehab. after open heart surgery about 10 years ago and it was the best thing he could have done.  The facility he chose was one of the best in the area and fortunately being a veteran several times over it was all covered under insurance.  He still raves about his experience there to this day and having visited him there many times I was very impressed with the quality of care.

Edited by Yeah No
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The auntie and uncle, especially, are the best things about the show to me. Bob's sister and brother are obnoxious cretins; idk why the writers think they are funny. Nepotism is alive and well, but would a smart businessman like Bob really put up with their nonsense at work? They are dead weight.  Love Christine Ebersole as an actress but I don't particularly like the character she portrays. Never been much of a drinker and so I can't relate to all the boozing and 'smoking' going on. Even Bob should lay off the sauce considering his bad ticker.

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11 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

Since Bob and Abishola are endgame, can Chukweumeka and Bob be bffs?

I hope not.  He's awful.  

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32 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

Nepotism is alive and well, but would a smart businessman like Bob really put up with their nonsense at work? They are dead weight. 

We don't know if Bob's father left the company to Bob or a part to each of his children.

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7 minutes ago, AnimeMania said:

We don't know if Bob's father left the company to Bob or a part to each of his children.

I've assumed that they are all owners in part.

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Someone mentioned in a post for the last episode that the show is still fleshing out the secondary characters so I’m withholding judgement. I actually don’t mind Bob’s siblings since I like them in other roles but can’t say I like them on this show yet.   I like Uncle Tunde and the American nurse so far.   I actually don’t like the aunt much.   She does have funny lines but comes across as extremely mercenary.   IMO they need to show her do something selfless soon.  

Love Bob and Abishola and I don’t like how the stroke storyline has stalled their love story.  

Edited by VanillaBeanne
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I liked the use of "I can hear what you are thinking" "maybe you are thinking it" because it was true. It is shown through Abishola's tea invitation earlier on in the episode that she likes Bob, and she is frustrated at herself because her rationale is telling her that Chukwuemeka is a better match. But she is projecting it onto her friend.

Edited by Harvey
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This early in a relationship, when you tell people you're too busy to meet, without offering an alternate time to do so, it does look like you are not interested. So Abishola asking Bob two or three times and having him turn her down-- even before he met the "better" man-- really did (or should have) shown him her interest, and him rejecting her repeatedly would plausibly give her reason to think he wasn't interested anymore. I liked that she was willing to ask him what was wrong, but after he then told her she should see the other guy, she really can't be blamed for thinking he absolutely wanted out.

And that has to sting, given how their date ended with her supporting him in the ER, and then he hired her to take care of his mother. From her perspective, maybe all he wanted was a nurse. And add it to his mother's racist tirade, and I can see why she was pissed.

Edited by possibilities
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1 hour ago, aimlessbird said:

Is Abishola divorced legally?  They have mentioned her husband 2 or 3 times but it almost appears as if maybe they never divorced. 

Why did Bob's mother call herself a young single mother when she met her husband?  

I don't know if they decided yet. In one episode it was written as if they were just separated but the ex already had another family in Nigeria. Later it did seem as if she is divorced and Bob was the first man showing any interest since that divorce.

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2 hours ago, aimlessbird said:

Why did Bob's mother call herself a young single mother when she met her husband?  

That's a good question and I wondered that myself. Bob is the oldest. If he wasn't the son of the sock guy, you'd think the sock guy wouldn't have left him the company, or if he did because the other two are useless, at least the other two might be kind of bitter. 

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I thought Dottie was referring to being a single (technically widowed) mom, working in the family business and taking care of her two youngest kids, who seem at least ten years younger than Bob, who was in college when his dad died.  

Edited by VanillaBeanne
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8 hours ago, possibilities said:

This early in a relationship, when you tell people you're too busy to meet, without offering an alternate time to do so, it does look like you are not interested. So Abishola asking Bob two or three times and having him turn her down-- even before he met the "better" man-- really did (or should have) show him her interest and give her reason to think he wasn't interested anymore. I liked that she was willing to ask him what was wrong, but after he then told her she should see the other guy, she really can't be blamed for thinking he absolutely wanted out.

And that has to sting, given how their date ended with her supporting him in the ER, and then he hired her to take care of his mother. From her perspective, maybe all he wanted was a nurse. And add it to his mother's racist tirade, and I can see why she was pissed.

Oh my goodness, you wrote everything I was thinking!  Before I read your post I was wondering am I the only one who thinks Abishola felt rejected when Bob turned her down for tea and that's why she told Bob to fight if her cares about her?  She may have felt that his interest in her was waning, and his own mother had just told her not to wait for Bob (or any man).  Of course, Bob was actually busy when she asking him out, but he had made time for her before even when he was busy.  So I agree with you that she's probably thinking maybe he just wants her as a nurse now, or at least slow down on the romantic stuff for the time being because there's so much going on.  I thought it would be sweet if he offered for them to have tea or dinner at his house at some point after work, that way they wouldn't have to worry about his mother and neither he nor Abishola would have to worry about rushing to meet somewhere else.  But that simple thought never seemed to cross either of their minds.  Anyway, if someone tells me I should date someone else, that would give me the impression that they don't really want to pursue a relationship with me at that time.  I think both Bob and Abishola need to communicate better with each other.  Abishola needs to stop pretending she's not as into Bob as she clearly is, and Bob needs to show that he's still interested.  They haven't really gone on a date or spent any time alone together since Dottie had her stroke.  It's like everybody just dropped the ball in the midst of all the chaos.

I do hope Uncle Tunde tells Abishola the truth about Chukwuemeka and his chauvinistic nonsense.  As much as I don't like his character, I do wish people would stop making fun of his name.  It's not Chewbacca or chupacabra or any of that foolishness.  It's Chukwuemeka (Choo-kway-may-ka).

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Its great to see Uncle Tunde realizing that this guy isnt right for Abishola and that his old world sexism just isnt going to fly. Considering how hard Auntie is pushing Abishola towards Chukwuemeka because he checks off all of her boxes fora perfect man for her niece, and Tunde usually just kind of lets Auntie win, its awesome that sees that this guy has a sexist world view that wont make Abishola happy. He is still Team Bob! 

I hope that Bob and Abishola can make it work soon, they have such sweet interactions when they are actually on the same page, and I really want to see that relationship grow. I can see how Abishola sees Bob telling her to be with the pharmacist if he is the one she wants to be with as giving up on her, but I see it as him putting her wants and her wishes above his own in a very selfless way. He just wants her to be happy, even if its not with him.  

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8 minutes ago, tennisgurl said:

I see it as him [Bob] putting her wants and her wishes above his own in a very selfless way. He just wants her to be happy, even if its not with him. 

That’s how I saw it too, but then I read

14 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I think Bob's acquiescing could have been a sign of giving up because he doesn't feel worthy of her…

and that^ rang true too. 

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48 minutes ago, TheLotusFlower said:

Oh my goodness, you wrote everything I was thinking!  Before I read your post I was wondering am I the only one who thinks Abishola felt rejected when Bob turned her down for tea and that's why she told Bob to fight if her cares about her?  She may have felt that his interest in her was waning, and his own mother had just told her not to wait for Bob (or any man).  Of course, Bob was actually busy when she asking him out, but he had made time for her before even when he was busy.  So I agree with you that she's probably thinking maybe he just wants her as a nurse now, or at least slow down on the romantic stuff for the time being because there's so much going on. 

No neither of you were the only ones that took it that way.  I did too because it came from a page out of my own life.  I also thought that Bob thought her interest in him had cooled because of finding out about her dating the pharmacist.  So both of them thought the other wasn't interested and so retreated from the other one.  I think Abishola dating the pharmacist only happened because she thought Bob had cooled on her, but it only made Bob think she had cooled on HIM.  Meanwhile neither one was the case, it was just because of stressful circumstances that things got derailed.  I find it interesting that she told Bob he needed to fight if he really wants something.  I actually think she too could have listened to that advice.

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6 hours ago, VanillaBeanne said:

I thought Dottie was referring to being a single (technically widowed) mom, working in the family business and taking care of her two youngest kids, who seem at least ten years younger than Bob, who was in college when his dad died.  

But in the episode where she had the stroke, didn't we learn that Bob left college to run the family business? Maybe she was a single mom with son Bob, then married the man who started MaxDot and had the twins (they are twins aren't they? I thought the sister said so). That might explain why they are so much younger than Bob.

56 minutes ago, watches2muchtv said:

I just get a kick out of Vernee Watson being a nurse for the 100th or so in her long career.

If not a nurse, then some kind of health care professional. 

"Bag of douche" is going to be my new go-to insult for d-bag assholes.

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6 hours ago, TheLotusFlower said:

Oh my goodness, you wrote everything I was thinking!  Before I read your post I was wondering am I the only one who thinks Abishola felt rejected when Bob turned her down for tea and that's why she told Bob to fight if her cares about her?  She may have felt that his interest in her was waning, and his own mother had just told her not to wait for Bob (or any man).  Of course, Bob was actually busy when she asking him out, but he had made time for her before even when he was busy.  So I agree with you that she's probably thinking maybe he just wants her as a nurse now, or at least slow down on the romantic stuff for the time being because there's so much going on.  I thought it would be sweet if he offered for them to have tea or dinner at his house at some point after work, that way they wouldn't have to worry about his mother and neither he nor Abishola would have to worry about rushing to meet somewhere else.  But that simple thought never seemed to cross either of their minds.  Anyway, if someone tells me I should date someone else, that would give me the impression that they don't really want to pursue a relationship with me at that time.  I think both Bob and Abishola need to communicate better with each other.  Abishola needs to stop pretending she's not as into Bob as she clearly is, and Bob needs to show that he's still interested.  They haven't really gone on a date or spent any time alone together since Dottie had her stroke.  It's like everybody just dropped the ball in the midst of all the chaos.

I do hope Uncle Tunde tells Abishola the truth about Chukwuemeka and his chauvinistic nonsense.  As much as I don't like his character, I do wish people would stop making fun of his name.  It's not Chewbacca or chupacabra or any of that foolishness.  It's Chukwuemeka (Choo-kway-may-ka).

If Abishola was feeling rejected and that Bob's interest was waning, when his mother stabbed him over the carrot, instead of saying Bob is not "acting like a man", she should have said she had an old Nigerian remedy that never fails and kissed his hand where he was stabbed. It would have told Bob he was acting like a baby and let him know that she was still interested in him. None of the other nonsense that happened later would not have happened.

I thought the mispronouncing of Chukwuemeka was the funniest part. I was waiting for someone to call him "Chewy Mac n' Cheese". Now that is a name an American can remember!

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I'm confused by this show. They are all over the place with it. Is Abishola still legally married? She said on the program that her husband just left her, went back to Nigeria and started another family there. She is still married. Why would upstanding people, such as her aunt and uncle encourage her to date other men before taking care of her marital status? Abishola could never move forward with any man while still married. Another note is : are bob and abishola in agreement that they are on their way to being a couple? A couple of what? She's still married; she acts quite coldly towards Bob, he's chasing her, then stops, Auntie and Uncle pursue Bob for Abishola on the sly...what's going on? I think the writers need to clean things up a bit. This show requires too much thinking for it to be a light comedy series.

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4 hours ago, SmithW6079 said:

But in the episode where she had the stroke, didn't we learn that Bob left college to run the family business? Maybe she was a single mom with son Bob, then married the man who started MaxDot and had the twins (they are twins aren't they? I thought the sister said so). That might explain why they are so much younger than Bob.

Yes, Bob’s been working for the family business since he was about 20. Why could t Dottie also have worked there as well?  Or some other job.  It seems easier to assume that’s the case then to assume that Dottie had a second husband. 
 

What started this speculation is a poster saying that Dottie said she was a single mom when she met her husband.   But Dottie did not say that - she said Abishola reminded her of herself, that is, a single mom working seven days a week and looking good.  

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I've been enjoying this little comedy quite a bit. Although Auntie Olu gets on my nerves a bit, the entire show is well written and I like how they are taking their time establishing the characters and the structure of the show. This episode was very entertaining, with Uncle Tunde coming to warn Bob about his competition who was better "in every way."

It is very interesting to me to see the Nigerian point of view shown mixed in with so many other points of view.  I think it is being very well done, and that is what I am tuning in for. 

Bob's family is also quite entertaining and I think will add to the rich mix that this show could become.  I loved Billy Gardell in Mike and Molly, another show with a fine ensemble cast, and I hope this show gets the same chance to gel that that one did. 

Finally, I love a show that is about different people from different backgrounds, without being preachy. I couldn't stand to watch the reboot of One Day at a Time because it was always preaching at me. Show me a good story and I'll get the message.  You do not need to shriek it at me.  

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I get a kick out of Auntie Olu because —even though our families’ backgrounds are so dissimilar— she reminds me of my mother’s matchmaking attempts for me and her related comments. Once when I was about Abishola’s age and a single mother with one child, my parents had a man over for dinner when I was there. He later married another man. I’m glad the pharmacist plot is more nuanced than that while still demonstrating equally unaware, meddling but well-meaning relatives. 
 

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On 11/26/2019 at 11:34 AM, aimlessbird said:

Is Abishola divorced legally?  They have mentioned her husband 2 or 3 times but it almost appears as if maybe they never divorced.  

On 11/27/2019 at 2:49 AM, floridamom said:

I'm confused by this show. They are all over the place with it. Is Abishola still legally married? She said on the program that her husband just left her, went back to Nigeria and started another family there. She is still married. Why would upstanding people, such as her aunt and uncle encourage her to date other men before taking care of her marital status? Abishola could never move forward with any man while still married. 

She is definitely still married. It came up in the second episode. As for why her aunt and uncle are encouraging her to date other men polygamy is common in Nigeria. It’s already been established that Abishola’s father has three wives. 

Bob- What about your son's dad? Where's he at?

Abishola- He moved back to Nigeria.

Bob- How come?

Abishola- There, he's a civil engineer. Here, he worked in a toll booth.

Bob- So he didn't like change? Nothing? Okay. So, so, you're divorced?

Abishola- No.

Bob- But you're not together anymore?

Abishola- No, we are not. 
 

Edited by Guest
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Abishola's father having 3 wives was in a dream segment that Abishola had. We don't know if this is true or not of her father. Like I said, this show is confusing to me. Abishola acts quite blandly around Bob, like she tolerates him and now, just now, barely likes him. She's around now because it's a paying job to care for his mother. I don't see how this 'relationship' will move forward.

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9 hours ago, Dani said:

She is definitely still married. It came up in the second episode. As for why her aunt and uncle are encouraging her to fraternity other men polygamy is common in Nigeria. It’s already been established that Abishola’s father has three wives. 

Bob- What about your son's dad? Where's he at?

Abishola- He moved back to Nigeria.

Bob- How come?

Abishola- There, he's a civil engineer. Here, he worked in a toll booth.

Bob- So he didn't like change? Nothing? Okay. So, so, you're divorced?

Abishola- No.

Bob- But you're not together anymore?

Abishola- No, we are not. 
 

While polygamy is common in parts of Nigeria; it is not the woman who takes multiple husbands.  Abishola would not generally be accepted in the Nigerian community were she to take Bob as her husband without divorcing her first husband.

Polygamy is practiced in Nigeria in the 12 states that are predominantly Muslim, but we've seen that Abishola is a Christian and it would be uncommon amongst the Christian community to accept it.

I have been to Kenya where is is legal and many men have more than one wife; it is even seen among the college educated in urban areas.  And, it is virtually exclusively one man with multiple wives.

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3 hours ago, doodlebug said:

While polygamy is common in parts of Nigeria; it is not the woman who takes multiple husbands.  Abishola would not generally be accepted in the Nigerian community were she to take Bob as her husband without divorcing her first husband.

Polygamy is practiced in Nigeria in the 12 states that are predominantly Muslim, but we've seen that Abishola is a Christian and it would be uncommon amongst the Christian community to accept it.

I have been to Kenya where is is legal and many men have more than one wife; it is even seen among the college educated in urban areas.  And, it is virtually exclusively one man with multiple wives.

True. I wasn’t clear. I really shouldn’t post at 1am because I have no idea how date became fraternity. Anyway, I didn’t mean that her aunt and uncle would be okay if Abishola took a second husband. I should have said that they can still be “upstanding” and be okay with Abishola dating because they are from a culture with different norms as evidenceby the fact that polygamy is common in Nigeria. 

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14 hours ago, floridamom said:

Like I said, this show is confusing to me. Abishola acts quite blandly around Bob, like she tolerates him and now, just now, barely likes him.

I can't disagree with you about this as this is exactly how I felt when i watched a summer preview, and the second and third episode (didn't watch the pilot until after watching the fourth episode).  Abishola has a very flat affect with Bob -- actually with everyone.  She does not come across as a very ebullient or friendly person in the traditional sense.  My opinion of her slowly began to change through her actions.   She does seem like a genuinely kind and caring person.   (Although I'm glad she's not my mom.   I get strict and firm, and I'm not saying she's a bad mom, but she doesn't seem like a fun person with her son at all. Yikes.)

Anyhoo, somewhere along the line i started routing for them  as a couple.  First, because I love Billy Gardell from Mike and Molly and find the character of Bob likeable but then because i started liking the character of Abishola.  I really didn't think the two had any actually chemistry initially but now i do.   I find myself routing for them.  They seem like theyd fix eachother in that Bob is lonely but seems to have lots of love to give, and Abishola, who is lonely too but too singular minded to even notice it, needs to learn to enjoy life more.   

Edited by VanillaBeanne
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I used to think of Chuck Lorre as, more or less, the Charlie Sheen character in Two & A Half Men.  But then Mom came along and I remember some good discussions on these boards about the serious issues they were tackling in that show within the 30-minute comedy format.

Even so, I was expecting Bob and Abishola to be an updated Mike and Molly, and I'm really delighted that it has so much more depth.  I think the cultural differences and the respective family obligations would create some bumps in the courtship path in real life and it's refreshing to see that as part of the story.  As someone pointed out above, this would be a difficult show to drop in and fully enjoy as a stand-alone episode.  It requires some background and continuity.   I think it's more sophisticated and thought-provoking than any of the other new comedies this season.  Huzzah.

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The main reason I am giving this show a try is Billy Gardell. I enjoyed him onMike & Molly very much and was quite sad when the 'star' of the show wrecked it for the whole cast. They should have continued it without "Molly" and kept Mike with his mom, Carl and the rest of his in-laws, somehow. Not too crazy about the rest of the cast on this show, though. I'm giving them time to develop them a bit more. Hopefully it will be good.

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