S04.E03: Chapter Sixty: Dog Day Afternoon

[Bort]

Things take a dangerous turn when Betty and Charles track down Edgar and his Farmies. Archie and Veronica hold a car wash fundraiser at Pop’s to raise money for the community center. Elsewhere, Jughead’s first day at Stonewall Prep doesn’t go as planned. Lastly, Cheryl learns a dark family secret from Nana Rose.

Airdate: Wednesday, October 23, 2019

[SeanC]

I will never forgive this show for teasing the idea of Edgar taking off in a rocket and then not going through with it.  We were so close to having a live-action version of the Leader from the Movementarians.

[Bulldog]

Vigilantes, money laundering, car washes, missing appendages, bomb diffusion, rat infested corpses, rockets, murder, Marmaduke and a VCR cassette tape.  

I would have truly loved to have seen this episode recapped on the old TWOP site.

[Diapason Untuned]

You can just tell how much fun the writers were having this episode trying to cram as much crazy in as possible. 

[UNOSEZ]

I continue to love Archie and Monroe as buddies… I like the community center.. That car wash was thirst trap central.. But the show has a target demo.. I can’t be mad at that… I sped thru all the Betty and the farm nonsense.. Toni got to speak a little this episode so that’s an improvement.. Jughead and his new schoolmatesbafe kinda interesting… I kinda thought it was the girl who spilled the beans about moose… Ah well

[Snookums]

Okay, now THAT was worth the extra tickets at the carnival!

Could there be a cult not covered by Edgar and his glorious sendoff? We have Manson, The SLA, Heaven's Gate and what the hell, throw in some Evel Kenivel! Ahh, delightful. The only thing they didn't try was hijacking a plane. I agree with SeanC that him not taking off in that thing he ripped off the springs from in front of the Safeway was a truly missed opportunity. Looking forward to Evelyn's trial, though--that should be some unhinged nuttery.

(Query; does the FBI need a governor's permission to conduct a raid? I can see where it might be politic but they aren't using National or State Guards, plus these are federal crimes. Also, those other agents were really quite super chill about a teenager being in on the entire operation and defusing a bomb. )

It's a tribute to this show's ability to compartmentalize that I actually forgot about this insanity during the other threads which involved Riverdale's Greatest Hits:

1) Archie having a three second window of maturity while advising Mad Dog, only to of course a) NOT go to Sheriff Jones and b) vigilante it up again. (And again, with nothing but probably permanent damage to his lovely self for his trouble! ) Love the whole Dodger thing--of the Artful Dodgers, I presume. Jughead's pretentious jerk salon cohorts would love all the literary allusions being thrown around.

2) Speaking of, Lovecraft gets another look in with rats in the walls, and FINALLY Toni is clued in that her girlfriend is off the fucking chain and also you should not hire rando "nurses" off the internet. Was Darius supposed to be another reference to something? Otherwise that was pretty random even for Riverdale. Also, how the hell are Nana Rose and the twins even still alive?

3) Mary mentions her, you know, whole entire life and career in Chicago while making what a should be silly but is actually perfectly sound point: Riverdale. Is. A. Shithole. It's the Hellmouth without the charisma. Everything about it is warped and cracked and any attempts to live a normal life there end up on baby rockets to the moon at best! So of course by the end she's totally Team Archie's Latest Boondoggle and screw those clients of hers who were counting on her back in her old life, I guess.

4) And time for the extended remix version of Worst Daddy Daughter Dance Ever as Veronica and Hiram do another pointless turn around the floor and did you know that Hiram is actually a Luna but while that was hell when he was growing up barely twenty years ago EVERY LAST PERSON IN TOWN HAS FORGOTTEN THAT? AGAIN? I don't know if Riverdale gets its drinking water from the River Lethe or what, but truly, if I were the CDC I'd be checking the entire place out.

5) And for the hidden track, everybody takes their shirts off and does a stereotypical sex comedy from the 80s scene but with dudes! Haven't seen that much glistening flesh since Top Gun. I assume they didn't take Kevin's shirt off because they didn't want to show the KIDNEY REMOVAL SCAR KEVIN GO TO THE DAMN DOCTOR.

[AnimeMania]

Nana Rose standing so close to the fireplace that it makes her negligee see-thru 😵. Exactly what demographic are they going for here.

Evel Knievel jumps over Snake River Canyon, I hope he put a few parachutes on the rocket. "The world may never know."

Jughead picks up the VHS tape and says "What do you think this thing is?" Betty says "I have no idea, maybe we should take it to your father." Maybe next time just send a flash drive, they did show there where laptops in this time period.

[Snookums]

Quote

 Exactly what demographic are they going for here.

YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIFE.

As for the video, it may be that the tape was made some time ago and never converted to another medium? Who knows with these whackadoos.

[HeatLifer]

Are we sure that Edgar and Betty aren’t related, seeing as they speak in exactly the same manner? 

Would I watch a spinoff of Archie and Monroe fighting crime? Why, yes, yes I would. And was Mary just going to leave Archie because Riverdale is a shithole? I mean, I get it and I know he’s a ~senior~ and an ~adult~ but like, he’s ~not~ Seeing as he just lost his father a few months ago and his girlfriend is ... that questionable chick whose father tried to murder her son ... I’m just saying.

Speaking of Hiram, he and Ronnie are so FF-worthy. Ronnie has been for awhile, anyway, but man, I just don’t care about them. 

Why do I like Jughead??????? All he had to do was take off that serpent jacket and wear a tie to get my attention? Curious to see what’s on the VHS tape. Assuming it’s related to whatever is going on at the school? Is his grandfather on the tape possibly? 

[thuganomics85]

I see Riverdale is trying to get in on the big DC's Crisis on Earth crossover that is happening by introducing Masked Vigilante Archie!  Hey, at this rate, I really wouldn't be surprised if that happened.  The CW is wild!

I can safely say that I never, ever even thought that Edgar's grand plan was going to end with him setting up the rest of The Farm as patsies, and escaping via blasting off on a freaking Evel Knieval-style rocket ship!  I really, really want to know which writer came up with that one and what drug they were on (or alcoholic drink they were chugging), because that is brilliant!  Chad Michael Murray is a better actor than I thought, for managing to deliver his grand monologue and not just start giggling during each take.  Alas though, it was not to be thanks to Alice putting him down, so that is it for the Farm, I guess.  Well, actually Evelyn is still around (unless Betty just went full Dark Betty on her off camera), and that is certainly another ball of crazy that can cause trouble.

 No surprise, Jughead's foray into this private school is not the fun time he was expecting, thanks to this Brent character, who basically personifies every rich, snobbish asshole ever portrayed in media (basically Draco Malfoy without the wizard powers!  Well, so far...)  I also still don't trust Sam Witwer's professor, because, duh, it's Sam Witwer.

Well, of course, Hiram can actually just sneak out of prison as he pleases, because he pretty much owns the joint, and it's not like there is actually any real enforcement going on in this silly town.  But that still doesn't stop Veronica from not just changing her last name, but changing to Hiram's actual last name that he himself changed to break from his own dick father.  Petty, but effective!  Well done, Veronica!

Masked vigilantism aside (I know!), Archie managed to have the more relatable story about wanting to turn the gym into a community center to help needy children.  Oh, Archie!  You've got such a big heart, but I'm not sure anything is going to save this town from being the worst.  And why am I not surprised that he wouldn't know that he should launder the dirty money first?  You don't even need to be a mastermind criminal to know about that: just binge Breaking Bad and you've got the basics down!

At least Toni finds out what her crazy girlfriend has been up too.  Granted, even then, she really didn't seem massively freaked out, but more "What the hell, Cheryl?!  This is just weird!"  Wouldn't surprise me at all if next week, she's already down to "Oh, you silly little thing!"

Final tease is a mysterious VHS tape arriving at Jughead's doorstep.  I would love it if next episodes starts with him putting it into a VCR, only for it to end with the tape getting chewed up.

I love this silly, stupid show!
 

[RandomWatcher]

[Lady Calypso]

I mean, it's nice to see this show get back to the crazier stuff but not the crazy dark stuff. I'll admit, I had to pause the episode to laugh for a good solid minute at the reveal of the rocket. 

I'm glad Edgar's dead but Chad Michael Murray will be missed (though I assume, like dead Jason, he could make random cameos here and there). 

The community centre stuff is surprisingly well done. I'm glad that Mary is staying in Riverdale. First off, because her abandoning Archie to go to Chicago would have been so dumb and probably made her the worst parent on the show, but also more Molly Ringwald! Plus, she can use her career for good! 

Monroe and Archie's friendship is fantastic. I'll say that I might even like it better than the Core Four right now. It turns out, I WOULD watch a spinoff of Monroe, Archie, and Mary running the community centre and fighting off the people trying to tear it down! 

At least, with the Jughead plotline, the Brett guy is just regular evil and not crazy supernatural culty evil, so that's a step up. But I AM waiting for the other shoe to drop with Sam Witwer's professor character. 

Meh to Hiram/Veronica's plot. I really don't care. 

Don't watch the tape, Riverdale, or else you'll die in 7 days!

[SourK]

My favourite part was when Betty stole a beret to complete her disguise. Even though she and her mom are famous enemies of the cult and everyone would have recognized them anyway -- it was a good look.

Also, I guess Jason and Cheryl were part of triplets and maybe that explains some stuff? Unsure whether triplet three is dead in the basement or alive somewhere, because I'm not super paying attention.

My least favourite part is that everyone keeps doing wacky things that don't make sense. Like, I'd be down for the wacky things if they had some kind of internal logic, but, here, people are making choices that seem unrelated to whatever they just learned. Archie doesn't want to go beat up the arcade guys, then his mom tells him she'll pay for him to go to college, then he does beat up the arcade guys WHAT.

In the scene with Polly, they acted like she was a suicide bomber, then they acted like she was strapped to a bomb she didn't want to be attached to -- pick one.

10 hours ago, Snookums said:

(Query; does the FBI need a governor's permission to conduct a raid? I can see where it might be politic but they aren't using National or State Guards, plus these are federal crimes. Also, those other agents were really quite super chill about a teenager being in on the entire operation and defusing a bomb. )

Also, Charles said the Governor was sending mercenaries in. WTF. I'm not American, but I feel like that's not normal.

[Lady Calypso]

9 minutes ago, SourK said:

Archie doesn't want to go beat up the arcade guys, then his mom tells him she'll pay for him to go to college, then he does beat up the arcade guys WHAT.

Actually, that part kind of made sense to me.

Archie got in a fight with Mary about Riverdale since Archie wanted to use the money he just learned about to go toward the community centre, and so Archie decided to go vigilante again to take out his anger on something else. It was also to get the money for the community centre. 

It makes more sense to me than Edgar sending Polly in to FBI home base with a bomb strapped to her chest while he builds a fricking rocket to fly away somewhere. Like...really, where was Edgar planning to fly off to? I doubt the rocket would have actually ended up going to space so where was his final destination? 

[Snookums]

Quote

 But that still doesn't stop Veronica from not just changing her last name, but changing to Hiram's actual last name that he himself changed to break from his own dick father.  Petty, but effective!  Well done, Veronica!

Yes--that was one of the few times I actually enjoyed this ridiculous-verging-on-upsetting vendetta between these two. The fact is, Ronnie is never going to out-maneuver Hiram in any "big" way--he's simply got too much experience, power and money. It's like trying to fight a gorilla--they just outweigh you by too much and are too strong.

So instead you've got to use flea tactics. Burrow under the skin, torture them with itching. The whole "I'm gonna use Grandpa's name" thing was the perfect blend of petty and ruthless. Using the story he told her against him and reviving his old shame while he snarls helplessly from his cell like a dragon with a sore foot? Delightful.

[UNOSEZ]

53 minutes ago, Snookums said:

Yes--that was one of the few times I actually enjoyed this ridiculous-verging-on-upsetting vendetta between these two. The fact is, Ronnie is never going to out-maneuver Hiram in any "big" way--he's simply got too much experience, power and money. It's like trying to fight a gorilla--they just outweigh you by too much and are too strong.

So instead you've got to use flea tactics. Burrow under the skin, torture them with itching. The whole "I'm gonna use Grandpa's name" thing was the perfect blend of petty and ruthless. Using the story he told her against him and reviving his old shame while he snarls helplessly from his cell like a dragon with a sore foot? Delightful.

Plus.. At least for me explains his name.. because Hiram lodge without.. Like an adoption story or something was confusing... 

[HeatLifer]

7 hours ago, Lady Calypso said:

Archie decided to go vigilante again to take out his anger on something else. It was also to get the money for the community centre. 

And it’s very much Archie to do something questionable alone so a friend, in this case Monroe, wouldn’t get in trouble. They stay cute.

[rmontro]

9 hours ago, Lady Calypso said:

Like...really, where was Edgar planning to fly off to? I doubt the rocket would have actually ended up going to space so where was his final destination? 

Snake River Canyon?  I don't think he was going to space because that didn't look like a space suit.

Loved that part, along with Toni walking in on Cheryl sewing up her dead brother.  Cheryl really brings the crazy.  What a great show!

[opus]

They had their own writing contest that week.

Producer: Ok, we need Edgar to attempt his escape. Whattya got?

Writer #1: Fast car in the parking lot

Producer: Maybe...

Writer #2: Jumps out a window and makes a run for it

Producer: Possibly...

Writer #3: Evel Knievel rocket

Producer: Winner. Write it up.
 

[secnarf]

On 10/24/2019 at 2:19 AM, AnimeMania said:

Jughead picks up the VHS tape and says "What do you think this thing is?" Betty says "I have no idea, maybe we should take it to your father." Maybe next time just send a flash drive, they did show there where laptops in this time period.

My guess is that this dates back to Jughead's grandfather. Which I think would be a bit early for VHS but this show has always played a bit loose with the timelines.

I was wondering if anyone in the show's teenage target demographic has actually seen a VHS before.

[Carrots4]

On 10/24/2019 at 8:47 AM, Lady Calypso said:

Don't watch the tape, Riverdale, or else you'll die in 7 days!

Had that exact same thought.

So the reason Mary left her husband and son behind and started a new life in Chicago was that she couldn’t get a job in Riverdale??? Seriously? It’s such a flimsy reason.

It bothers me that Archie won’t take a loan from Veronica but has no problem dragging her into a money laundering scheme.

[Bill1978]

After 3 episodes I am tentatively climbing back on board the Riverdale train. Admittedly I am standing on the 'balcony' of the caboose in case I need to jump off at the next station. I haven't enjoyed this show this much since Season 1. The over the top ridiculous is just right and I admit the whole '0Weekend at Jason' plot has me intrigued.

Hopefully they won't feel the need to bring back the annoying gangs, I think that's where they really started to lose me as I am not interested in storylines like that on any show. Still think it is stupid to have Veronica running a business while in high school and now they have Archie doing the same thing. My eyes glaze over whenever those two are on screen. And hopefully I didn't miss out on anything Hiram talked about I tuned out as soon as he appeared on screen. And to think I use to enjoy any scenes with the parents, now they are all just major yawns.

Nice to see Moose...er I mean Marmaduke back...but then they throw in a plotline that means he will be gone from the school. 

On 10/24/2019 at 3:16 PM, Snookums said:

I assume they didn't take Kevin's shirt off because they didn't want to show the KIDNEY REMOVAL SCAR KEVIN GO TO THE DAMN DOCTOR.

I thought this was weird as well especially since Veronica implied that it was ALL the boys in the common room who inspired the idea. Maybe Casey didn't want to shave his chest for a one off moment?? But Kevin looked happy watching the cars get washed. He also looked excited for the guys to go Full Monty. 

My favourite laugh out loud moment was Veronica telling Archie she overestimated the paying price of Archie's abs. 

I just watched the preview for next week (since Netflix doesn't offer that for me), and I am concerned I will be getting off at the next station.

[Quark]

When Betty's Mum said that Edgar had built a rocket to escape, I howled and howled with laughter.

I love this crazy show.

[Jeddah]

On 10/24/2019 at 4:10 AM, thuganomics85 said:

Chad Michael Murray is a better actor than I thought, for managing to deliver his grand monologue and not just start giggling during each take.

When he got cast he must have thought charismatic cult leader was a great juicy role. Little did he know it would end with him in a jumpsuit with stars on it and a homemade rocket.

[tennisgurl]

I just really want to know who in the writers room threw out “What if big scary cult leader Chad Michael Murray’s big exit has him build a homemade carnival decoration looking rocket, dress like Evel Kneival, and try to ascend with his toy rocket?” And I would like to suggest this person get a raise. 

[Lady Calypso]

6 hours ago, tennisgurl said:

I just really want to know who in the writers room threw out “What if big scary cult leader Chad Michael Murray’s big exit has him build a homemade carnival decoration looking rocket, dress like Evel Kneival, and try to ascend with his toy rocket?” And I would like to suggest this person get a raise. 

At least that was a FUN reveal. For the first time in who knows how long (MAYBE season 1? Maybe EVER?), I actually had FUN with this show. Riverdale is basically the epitome of crazy and insane, but more often than not, it's boring or dark or depressing. Here, I had a genuinely long laugh at the Edgar stuff. And it wasn't even in a "I can't believe this is a thing" way. Well, it WAS, but it was also "This is actually HILARIOUS and I love it" way.

I mean, look at this:

And the Tarantino-esque zoom earlier in the episode:

THIS is the Riverdale I want to see more of, if they're going to go batshit insane. I want to genuinely laugh and have a little bit of fun. 

[rmontro]

13 hours ago, tennisgurl said:

I just really want to know who in the writers room threw out “What if big scary cult leader Chad Michael Murray’s big exit has him build a homemade carnival decoration looking rocket, dress like Evel Kneival, and try to ascend with his toy rocket?” And I would like to suggest this person get a raise. 

I've been thinking abut this and IMO this is the single best moment ever on Riverdale.

So I agree with the raise, and add a promotion along with it.  Shoot, make him the showrunner.

[tennisgurl]

See, if they want crazy Riverdale, this is the kind of Riverdale I like. Batshit insane and over the top, but in a fun campy way, not a disturbing overly dark way. It has its dark parts too, but it dealt with some actual grounded character stuff, as well as crazy Riverdale ridiculousness, but in a funny kind of way. 

Mostly anyway. Poor Moose, that kid just cannot catch a break. And this time he was just collateral damage to the pissing contest between this asshole kid and Jughead! I did laugh at one of the most shocking things to these kids is that people used to call him Moose. Oh kids, peoples weird names are not even in the top 10 of weirdest things at Riverdale. Still waiting on that evil prep school secret to be revealed! 

I could talk forever about Edgar's homemade rocket ship, possibly one of the greatest moments in Riverdale history, but I also want to throw out that Edgar's big distraction involved him having his daughter/wife driving all his cult members off a cliff with Betty and Alice tied to the front. Like, has Edgar just officially morphed into Snidely Whiplash in Wacky Races? 

In between the crazy, we actually got some nice moments, like Monroe and Archie's friendship, which I adore, even if it leads Archie to do dumb but very Archie like things like stealing money from bad guys while wearing a mask, Betty/Jughead having heart to hearts, and Mary and Archie having some nice moments that actually seemed pretty real. I mean, I dont blame Mary for wanting to leave Riverdale, its basically a wretched hive of scum and villainy but with extra weird costumes, but I also get why Archie wants to stay, especially so soon after losing Fred. Fred did give a lot to this town, and I can see why he sees giving up on it like giving up on Fred. 

So Toni finally finds out that Cheryl isnt just fun crazy, but really crazy. Like, Norman Bates-ing your dead brother and keeping him in the basement kinds of crazy. 'Oh Toni, you never met JJ before!" "Ummmmmm"

[MaggieG]

On 10/24/2019 at 11:29 AM, Lady Calypso said:

It makes more sense to me than Edgar sending Polly in to FBI home base with a bomb strapped to her chest while he builds a fricking rocket to fly away somewhere. Like...really, where was Edgar planning to fly off to? I doubt the rocket would have actually ended up going to space so where was his final destination? 

It's been a week since I've watched this episode and I'm still thinking about this. Did Edgar actually think the rocket would go to space?

[rmontro]

1 hour ago, MaggieG said:

It's been a week since I've watched this episode and I'm still thinking about this. Did Edgar actually think the rocket would go to space?

I don't think they ever actually said where he was going.  I don't think he was going to space - I don't think that rocket could have even got there.  But he might have been crazy enough to think he was going there.  Or maybe it was his way of "transitioning to the next level" (committing suicide).

[Scott]

I'm way behind on these, so this may have already been resolved, but...Bret Weston Wellis?  Donna Sweet?  Please tell me the other two in the group will have similarly pun-tastic names...

[Dobian]

So basically Edgar's plan all along was to be Evel Knievel and jump the Snake River Canyon.  I never understood Edgar before.  Now I do.  He was a true visionary.

[HerkyJerky]

On ‎10‎/‎24‎/‎2019 at 7:47 AM, Lady Calypso said:

Don't watch the tape, Riverdale, or else you'll die in 7 days!

LOL!

[LadyChaos]

I know that Riverdale plays fast and loose with what teens are and are not actually allowed to do in the real world.....but come on....what FBI agent would stand there and let a teen who knows nothing about explosives, deactivate a bomb instead of them.....

And even after everything...Archie still hasn't learned to stop being a vigilante.

Edited August 15, 2022 by LadyChaos