the-grey-lady

I've wanted to punch Garrick in the face since the first time I saw him (for, you know, reasons), but tonight I felt like I couldn't keep my fist from twitching. His dumbfounded expression every time Dannielle expresses human emotion like an actual autonomous being makes me want to load him into a catapult and fire it directly into the sun. What a revolting little worm.

The best part of this episode was how many distinct ways the Winders/Kimberly were able to say/not say that there is zero attraction between Colton and his would-be "wife."

I'm going to regret asking this... Can't resist... Defenses crumbling... ...the WHAT gap?

Finally, something I have in common with Kelley. I also want Peter to get the hell out of my life.

The "King": We really don't have strict roles in our family...except how I expect my Queens to sit and home and serve me without any thoughts of their own. Other than that, we're totes flexible!

Ah, what I wouldn't give to be a fly on the wall during those convos. "You want to steam your WHAT?" "You heard me." "Ma'am, this is a carpet cleaning company..." "Well, have you ever thought about diversifying your services? Vaginas are an untapped market!"

Jessa (his own wife) never said anything about... Wait, sorry – I just realized who I'm talking about. Carry on.

God, it was smirking Josh, that rat bastard. Now I have tears in my eyes.

I keep thinking about all the times Jill's siblings mocked her for being a "tattletale" and I want to give her a hug. If you read here, I'm so sorry, Jill.

I love the question mark in the title of this show, as if there's any chance in Hell any of these people are happy.

That list... Jesus take the fucking wheel. Where's the puke emoji when you need it?

Keep saying that until there's no longer a need. Please.

Oh my god, y'all. For all the snarking I've been doing about this – and I stayed up until 2 snarking – I was so hoping for a white collar crime.

I know we make fun of the episode titles a lot (and with good reason), but this one was spot-on.

WHAT DID I JUST WATCH Christine: So our attempts to correct Ysabel's scoliosis through expensive quackery have failed. She needs surgery. Kody: There's a Ysabel? Oh, right...does she need it now? I'm so busy. Christine: She's in agony every day. Kody: Fine. But do we have to be there for it? Specifically me? Robyn's kids might need me that day.

I just HAVE to add one more snarky comment. Why, after decades of marriage to FOUR women, is Kody STILL surprised (and annoyed) by the fact that his wives have the thoughts, feelings, and needs of...four women? Almost every damn episode he's banging on about his wives complaining, and how he wants them to get along and not fight, and on and on, and I can't figure out how he didn't realize he was marrying four autonomous human beings?

I yell at lot during this show. I scare my cats. Kody: There's some underlying lack of trust within the family. Me: IT'S BECAUSE OF YOU. Kody: COVID blah blah... Me: NOPE, STILL YOU.

Me [about an hour ago]: Wow, there are a lot of unread posts in the Seewald thread. PLEASE tell me they're not stuffing yet another baby onto the birthing couch? Me [now]: Of course they are. It's not like those two shiftless grifters have anything else to do.

Okay, that's a great point. Let's meet in the middle and agree they're both loathsome?

"I don't actually want to do anything; I just like to complain." Finally, a worthy epitaph for Kody's tombstone. So...Kody wants Meri to "court" him? He doesn't enjoy being courted by Meri, and in fact seems physically repelled by her, and he admits he's uncomfortable when she DOES attempt to flirt with him, but...the death of their marriage and its subsequent lack of resurrection is all her fault? Basically he wants her to keep throwing herself at him so he can reject her over and over again. That's just cruel.

I quite literally laughed out loud when Charles and Chic, newly freed from prison, did the only logical thing...and headed to their mother's/pseudo-mother's house to get married ASAP. When Penelope Blossom, also among the free, ordered her "nightmare child" to pray for wind, I was on the floor. And of course Jughead's dealer goes by Speedy.

I laughed when Ashley assured the camera that Dimitri wouldn't be having sex with his latest side piece potential wife. We know how well that decree has gone over in the past.

I think tonight marks a first for me: the first time I saw a woman refer to her husband unironically as the king. I hope it was also the last time. Blecch.

Kody: I don't know what Gabriel and Garrison are [insert personality trait/activity here]... Me: Yeah, makes sense. It's not like we would expect someone's parent to know anything about them.

Sometimes Mr. Grey and I joke that I don't "glorify" him enough, so I'll gaze at him like a fundie until he tells me I'm creeping him out and leaves the room.