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Please take general discussion about race not specific to the show to the Race & Ethnicity on TV thread.

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I would assume that Gina Yashere will be involved in writing every episode for the foreseeable future, since all Chuck Lorre shows are room written - that is, the entire writers room collaborates on breaking the story and writing every line. The credits are parceled out somehow, but it's why there are always the maximum number of writers the WGA allows, plus more multiple producers, and the names swap around every week.

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44 minutes ago, LucindaWalsh said:

I like all the actors so far on the show with the exception of that lady who was in the breakroom (during the conversation where we find out Bob has been married and divorced). Something off about her performance.

I feel the same way and I think it’s the writing for the character. The actress is so good on The Good Place that it irritates to see how much they are wasting her here. She can be funny but you’d never know it from this show. 

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I'm happy that Abishola finally realized that suppressing her feelings for Bob wasn't working. I'm ready for those two to at least go on a date. 

I did laugh at Abishola dreaming about playing Wack-A-Mole with Bob's head. 

And Abishola wiping out on the sidewalk was reminiscent of me last winter when I was trying to get to work. Did the exact same thing. Managed not to drop my lunch or juice, though. 

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I'm giving this show a chance but I think this situation with these two is being forced. Perhaps it would have been better, knowing the premise intended for these two characters that we were introduced to them separately and got to know them first....then begin to bring them to meet and proceed from there.

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With this episode, I was really able to relate to Abishola and her dreams, LOL, having been a divorced mother, working and going to school and poor when I was her age. There was never a “Bob” for me —mainly because I had three kids (which scared off at least one Bob) but even more because I didn’t want to risk ever again go through a divorce. And so much of Bob is as unrealistic as Prince Charming (IRL he would be more like the Archie Bunker bigot who married my immigrant landlady). But there’s a reason fairy tale stories are still popular, and there are a few Prince Charmings out there who are Better than the Average Bear. So this show has commercial potential IMO, because there are elements of the characters that are universally relatable. 

32 minutes ago, floridamom said:

I'm giving this show a chance but I think this situation with these two is being forced. Perhaps it would have been better, knowing the premise intended for these two characters that we were introduced to them separately and got to know them first....then begin to bring them to meet and proceed from there.

Yes, but I think they can fill in the backstories. 

Edited by shapeshifter
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I know there are people, especially immigrants (like my own relatives) who refuse to take sick days, but Abishola is a nurse. Even though this is just a tv show, I felt really upset she thought nothing about risking patients with her germs. 

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2 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

With this episode, I was really able to relate to Abishola and her dreams, LOL, having been a divorced mother, working and going to school and poor when I was her age. There was never a “Bob” for me —mainly because I had three kids (which scared off at least one Bob) but even more because I didn’t want to risk ever again go through a divorce. And so much of Bob is as unrealistic as Prince Charming (IRL he would be more like the Archie Bunker bigot who married my immigrant landlady). But there’s a reason fairy tale stories are still popular, and there are a few Prince Charmings out there who are Better than the Average Bear. So this show has commercial potential IMO, because there are elements of the characters that are universally relatable. 

Yes, but I think they can fill in the backstories. 

First of all, I'm really sorry to hear about your history, Shape, but do you really think Bob is a "Prince Charming"?  I find that interesting because I don't see him that way.  I've only just started to see him as perhaps a slightly more interesting, nicer, less pathetic heavy guy than I did in the first couple of episodes.  Now I do get it that the show might be trying to portray him as some kind of prize package for Abishola, but I've already posted on how I don't like that so much.  He's really no prize package even as they're portraying him and it kind of insults Abishola.  I also think all this implied racism/white guilt in his family just reinforces negative stereotypes of white people in general (not that this show hasn't reinforced negative black stereotypes too).  One would think that if Bob were able to want a relationship with a Black woman he would not be so "unwoke" about the employees at his company.  Usually those things go hand in hand.  Some of this show irks me because it's so 30-40 years ago already where I come from (NYC).  However, that said I did actually appreciate the fun being poked at people like his family out there, and brought out their true, selfish motivations.  And I did actually like this episode very much despite my negative opinions.  The irony of this is not lost on me.

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10 hours ago, AnimeMania said:

I thought this was the best episode yet, all the dreams were very funny. I thought Abishola said her husband was now living somewhere other than Nigeria in a previous episode.

I think she mentioned he is in Lagos, which is a city in Nigeria, in the state of the same name.

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1 hour ago, zoey1996 said:

I think she mentioned he is in Lagos, which is a city in Nigeria, in the state of the same name.

You are right, I don't why when I heard that, I thought that was in the Caribbean Islands. My ignorance.

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Plus, she said her father had 3 wives, so I guess polygamy is ok. Which is why I guess she isn't worried about divorcing her husband nor about his new family. I thought that was interesting. Although, Wikipedia says it has not been legal in Lagos since 2010.

I really like this show more than I should, especially Abishola and her relatives/friends. It seems to be my favorite of all the new sitcoms. Have dropped all the other new CBS sitcoms, but, surprisingly, this one stuck.

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"Don't ask her what the dreams are about. She is embarrassed because they are sexual."

Usually when a show centers on just 2 characters, and all the others are basically there to serve up punch lines, it makes the show terrible. But they did a good job of making me laugh during that conversation.

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22 minutes ago, cachca said:

I wasn't sure what was being implied in last night's episode about Italians, but Italians are NOT people of color.

There is a common saying that "Italians are the blacks of white people." so they were referring to that.

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37 minutes ago, cachca said:

I wasn't sure what was being implied in last night's episode about Italians, but Italians are NOT people of color.

I don’t think they were implying anything about Italians but about Bob and his family. That they saw someone with tanned skin and just assumed he was a person of color. 

I’m curious to see where they are going with Bob’s work because that entire scene did not reflect well on Bob or is family. Bob immediately put the blame on his father but he’s been dead for 25 years. 

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7 hours ago, Yeah No said:

irst of all, I'm really sorry to hear about your history, Shape, but do you really think Bob is a "Prince Charming"?  I find that interesting because I don't see him that way.  I've only just started to see him as perhaps a slightly more interesting, nicer, less pathetic heavy guy than I did in the first couple of episodes. 

How is Bob not a catch?  I'm in my mid 40's and a guy who owns his own successful business, I presume lives in his own home, humble, and seemingly is a nice guy (not "nice" but genuinely nice) is a catch to me. I didn't like his initial visit to her home and him bribing the nurse to get the address from the pilot, but since then he's stepped back when she asked him to.  Based on what I've seen from the online dating apps I'm on, Bob is a catch. 

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50 minutes ago, cachca said:

I wasn't sure what was being implied in last night's episode about Italians, but Italians are NOT people of color.

However for the KKK a hundred years ago all peoples of color were not black people and Italians were among the groups that they were against to a lesser extent than to black, then known as colored people. It would be a couple of generations before anti Italian prejudice like the Irish before them ended and they did not face widespread discrimination as an "other"

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I've never heard that saying about Italians and my dad is Italian. Which means I'm half Italian although according to Ancestry DNA I'm only 25% Italian much to my surprise.

ETA: That commercial/jingle the siblings made was so cringe-worthy and hilarious, heh. 

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4 hours ago, Dani said:
5 hours ago, cachca said:

I wasn't sure what was being implied in last night's episode about Italians, but Italians are NOT people of color.

I don’t think they were implying anything about Italians but about Bob and his family. That they saw someone with tanned skin and just assumed he was a person of color. 

While it did say something about Bob and his family, also, given that this show is all about race in our country and seems to be in part to "wake" viewers as All In The Family tried to do, and given that this episode aired in mid October, and having myself just read a historical opinion piece in The New York Times titled "How Italians Became 'White'" (nytimes.com/interactive/2019/10/12/opinion/columbus-day-italian-american-racism.html) I think the line about Italians was quite intentionally placed in this episode. Plus, in TV shows, every line count$.

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5 hours ago, joanne3482 said:

How is Bob not a catch?  I'm in my mid 40's and a guy who owns his own successful business, I presume lives in his own home, humble, and seemingly is a nice guy (not "nice" but genuinely nice) is a catch to me. I didn't like his initial visit to her home and him bribing the nurse to get the address from the pilot, but since then he's stepped back when she asked him to.  Based on what I've seen from the online dating apps I'm on, Bob is a catch. 

Well, I did say I'm seeing him as less of all those negative things I enumerated in my previous post.  But yeah, it's because of the way he was acting almost like a lovesick stalker with slightly creepy vibes in the first couple of episodes that I don't see him as a "catch".  Also, he's a little heavy for my taste, not my type at all and the way they're portraying him he's likely not someone I'd click with all that well on a deeper level.  It irks me when shows make any guy with a pulse, a good job and no criminal record the only requirements for being called a "catch".  There's a lot more that goes into a match than that, at least for me.  I know the pickin's are slim out there/online but I would never lower my standards because of that.  Just my opinion!

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37 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Well, I did say I'm seeing him as less of all those negative things I enumerated in my previous post.  But yeah, it's because of the way he was acting almost like a lovesick stalker with slightly creepy vibes in the first couple of episodes that I don't see him as a "catch".  Also, he's a little heavy for my taste, not my type at all and the way they're portraying him he's likely not someone I'd click with all that well on a deeper level.  It irks me when shows make any guy with a pulse, a good job and no criminal record the only requirements for being called a "catch".  There's a lot more that goes into a match than that, at least for me.  I know the pickin's are slim out there/online but I would never lower my standards because of that.  Just my opinion!

I would label him a catch even though I wouldn’t want to catch him.

I do think they’ve done a good job of showing why Bob would appeal to Abishola in ways that go beyond him just having a job and no criminal record. She’s surrounded by pushy people telling her what to do and Bob is content just to sit in a bench, drinking tea and talking to her. 

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5 hours ago, Raja said:

However for the KKK a hundred years ago all peoples of color were not black people and Italians were among the groups that they were against to a lesser extent than to black, then known as colored people. It would be a couple of generations before anti Italian prejudice like the Irish before them ended and they did not face widespread discrimination as an "other"

This is a hot button issue for me as an Italian American (I'm 50% on my mother's side) and I was actually happy that the show called it out as present day prejudice that actually has not ended yet.  Does anyone remember the little episode with Chris Cuomo several weeks ago and how upset he got at being called a "Fredo"?  Well, there was more to that than just being compared to a wimpy failure.  It's also evidence that prejudice against Italian Americans still exists, just in different form.  I felt for him because I know he's ultra sensitive about it for a reason.  Chris said his father Mario used to get upset at those stereotypes and felt they were designed to keep Italian Americans down.  My mother felt the same way.  My feeling is that shows like "Jersey Shore" and even "The Sopranos" to some degree have only perpetuated negative Italian American stereotypes in the present day.  I know people that think all Italian Americans are like that.  Of course they don't realize how the vast majority of us aren't like that at all, but of course they don't identify the rest of us as Italian American.  To illustrate how different this is than for Irish Americans today, just imagine if there were shows that depicted present day Irish Americans as hoodlums and drunks and all the negative stereotypes associated with Irish Catholics that were around years ago.  Can't imagine it?  Well, that's because it just doesn't happen anymore.  Meanwhile it still happens for Italian Americans.

Many non-Italians I've known well enough to talk about this with over the years could not believe my mother and I were Sicilian with our ultra white skin and blue eyes because they assumed that all Sicilians have dark olive skin and brown eyes.  When I'd ask them why they assumed that, they would say things to the effect of "Well, it's so close to Africa", as if to imply that Sicilians are related to sub-Saharan Africans.  P.S.  The vast majority of us have zero to less than 1% sub-Saharan African DNA in us but a lot people including white supremacists refuse to let go of that notion because it lends fuel to their prejudice against Sicilians.  When I mentioned taking a DNA test a few years back my brother in law (who I know is fairly racist) once asked me how much black DNA I had in me given that I was half Sicilian!  Why would he even ask me such a question?  I know it was intended as an insult.  Anyway, rant over, I've made my point.

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6 minutes ago, Dani said:

I would label him a catch even though I wouldn’t want to catch him.

I do think they’ve done a good job of showing why Bob would appeal to Abishola in ways that go beyond him just having a job and no criminal record. She’s surrounded by pushy people telling her what to do and Bob is content just to sit in a bench, drinking tea and talking to her. 

Well if Abishola thinks he's a catch for her then that's all that matters, but usually in my experience in order to be called a "catch" a guy would have to appeal to a broad spectrum of women on many levels.  Like he's the total package that most women would dream about.  I could say that about a lot of other men but not Bob, sorry.

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1 hour ago, shapeshifter said:

While it did say something about Bob and his family, also, given that this show is all about race in our country and seems to be in part to "wake" viewers as All In The Family tried to do, and given that this episode aired in mid October, and having myself just read a historical opinion piece in The New York Times titled "How Italians Became 'White'" (nytimes.com/interactive/2019/10/12/opinion/columbus-day-italian-american-racism.html) I think the line about Italians was quite intentionally placed in this episode. Plus, in TV shows, every line count$.

You know, I've read an article very much like that one before and while I learned a lot from both and really appreciated them, that article STILL mentions Sicilians as having darker skin without qualifying that most Sicilians do not have dark skin, thus perpetuating the myth that all Sicilians are dark skinned.  If you were to look at a crowd of Sicilians in Sicily in photos you would not see a crowd of people with darker skin.  In fact you probably wouldn't know you were looking at a city scene in Sicily as opposed to Rome or pretty much any other Italian city.  You would see some people with a tan/olive complexion but they would be in the minority.  Most people would look like average white skinned Europeans.  Sicily was invaded many times over its history by many cultures so you are likely to find people of all complexions there, including blonde, blue eyed Sicilians.  My family comes from the southeastern area below Syracusa, which was colonized by the Greeks in ancient times (hello Archimedes), so we resemble ancient Greeks more than anyone else, and contrary to popular belief, some of those were fair skinned and could have light hair and eyes.  My family had the light skin/eyes and light to medium brown, smooth wavy hair, all of which I inherited.

But yeah, I really appreciated that article anyway, thanks for posting it.

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On 10/14/2019 at 6:12 PM, shapeshifter said:

I don’t know if “soul mates” or “true love” or “love at first sight” really exist, but I am enjoying this portrayal of them. 

Yes, all 3 exist...its rare, but if you remember not to 'settle' your chances of finding this trifecta rise exponentially....and where you least expect it.

Also, yes, Bob is a catch...always first look at a man's character. Then his work ethic. The way he treats his mother...looks are way down on the list...I consider good looks a bonus.

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1 hour ago, CrazyMoon said:

Also, yes, Bob is a catch...always first look at a man's character. Then his work ethic. The way he treats his mother...looks are way down on the list...I consider good looks a bonus.

I do wish there wasn't a double standard, because we all know women are rarely judged by those criteria, looks being the first and sometimes last and only issue we are judged by, especially on TV.

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6 hours ago, Yeah No said:

This is a hot button issue for me as an Italian American (I'm 50% on my mother's side) and I was actually happy that the show called it out as present day prejudice that actually has not ended yet.  Does anyone remember the little episode with Chris Cuomo several weeks ago and how upset he got at being called a "Fredo"?  Well, there was more to that than just being compared to a wimpy failure.  It's also evidence that prejudice against Italian Americans still exists, just in different form. 

Speaking the truth! Another show that illustrated the prejudice still very much alive against Italians in the USA is Will & Grace (Season 9 episode 1).

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As a 100% Italian ancestry person, I'm first generation American. I can tell you that my grandmother had blue eyes. I had blonde hair and blue eyes when I was little; quite fair skinned too. We did the DNA test and nothing showed from Africa at all. I don't know why they think Italians are all olive-skinned. We're not. I didn't appreciate that comment about Bob's employee. I don't compare this show to All In The Family at all. Never thought of that either.

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10 hours ago, Harvey said:

Speaking the truth! Another show that illustrated the prejudice still very much alive against Italians in the USA is Will & Grace (Season 9 episode 1).

You don't have to look further than TLC's "reality" shows for sterotypes. 

Really looking forward to seeing where Bob and Abishola's relationship goes.  Can anyone explain the opening with all the names!?!? Are they just the possibilities of meeting someone?!?!

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On 10/22/2019 at 9:41 PM, CrazyMoon said:

Also, yes, Bob is a catch...always first look at a man's character. Then his work ethic. The way he treats his mother...looks are way down on the list...I consider good looks a bonus.

I used to tell my nieces, you know you're getting older when a guy can look like Brad Pitt but if he is bad to waitresses and children and small dogs he becomes ugly, but a guy who is kind and thoughtful and responsible can look like Clint Howard and be considered attractive. 

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On 10/22/2019 at 8:33 AM, Yeah No said:

First of all, I'm really sorry to hear about your history, Shape, but do you really think Bob is a "Prince Charming"?  I find that interesting because I don't see him that way.  I've only just started to see him as perhaps a slightly more interesting, nicer, less pathetic heavy guy than I did in the first couple of episodes.  Now I do get it that the show might be trying to portray him as some kind of prize package for Abishola, but I've already posted on how I don't like that so much. 

I think Billy Gardell basically plays the same "husky nice guy" in every show, lol. But what I don't understand is how Abishola could be considered such as prize either, other than the fact that Bob's obviously very lonely. She doesn't radiate any kind of warmth or pleasantness. I fall into Bob's demographic, and Abby does nothing for me. I'm into funny, quirky, friendly, interesting women. The "ah, I'll tolerate you" vibe from Abishola kind of bugs, even though she's softening to him.

12 hours ago, joanne3482 said:

I used to tell my nieces, you know you're getting older when a guy can look like Brad Pitt but if he is bad to waitresses and children and small dogs he becomes ugly, but a guy who is kind and thoughtful and responsible can look like Clint Howard and be considered attractive. 

Amen Sister. Wish there were more women out there like you. 🙂

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1 hour ago, Winston Wolfe said:

I think Billy Gardell basically plays the same "husky nice guy" in every show, lol.

I was surprised to recognize him in an old rerun of Monk, in which he played a somewhat comedically brain-damaged victim of a construction accident with a piece of pipe permanently stuck in his head. 
 

1 hour ago, Winston Wolfe said:

But what I don't understand is how Abishola could be considered such as prize either,

When Abishola first caught Bob’s attention, it was because of her singing, and also her accent, but the writers seem to have dropped the ball on that arc. 

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9 hours ago, Winston Wolfe said:

I think Billy Gardell basically plays the same "husky nice guy" in every show, lol. But what I don't understand is how Abishola could be considered such as prize either, other than the fact that Bob's obviously very lonely. She doesn't radiate any kind of warmth or pleasantness. I fall into Bob's demographic, and Abby does nothing for me. I'm into funny, quirky, friendly, interesting women. The "ah, I'll tolerate you" vibe from Abishola kind of bugs, even though she's softening to him.

I agree with you but I wonder if one of the intentions of the show is to make them appear to be a sort-of odd or unlikely couple.  You know, an "opposites attract" sort of thing.  I've seen that done on shows before with great comedic effect.  I'm not sure that's really coming across here or maybe it's just coming off a little clunky.  But I'm softening to both of them and them as a couple so that's good.

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21 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I agree with you but I wonder if one of the intentions of the show is to make them appear to be a sort-of odd or unlikely couple.  You know, an "opposites attract" sort of thing.  I've seen that done on shows before with great comedic effect.  I'm not sure that's really coming across here or maybe it's just coming off a little clunky.  But I'm softening to both of them and them as a couple so that's good.

Another real life factor of couples attraction that has been explored in fiction is sometimes people just grow more comfortable with each other over time if they have occasion to be near each other regularly. Typically this comes about at school or work or dog parks or even with a long-term medical issue or other situations where the two parties don’t have to make an effort to see each other.
Here the two parties started out with that sort of chance meeting, but then it switched to the two parties (and her relatives) having to make an effort to keep it going. 

Still, it feels more like the attraction growing over familiarity. 
If there are many seasons, eventually they will likely question whether they have anything in common, but by then they will hopefully be able to see that they have shared memories that are good ones. 

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I remember thinking that Abishola came off as as abrupt and a little dull when I watched the summer previews for this show, and didn’t really see chemistry between the leads.   Surprised by how much I’m rooting for them.     

Interestingly I don’t think Abishola’s character has changed much from the pilot.  She’s still abrupt and always speaks in a calm flat tone.   But I just like her now.  The actress and the writers are doing a good job of adding layers to her.   I feel like Abishola had and continues to have a difficult life but doesn’t dwell on that and just focuses on working hard to build a good life for her family, but unfortunately doesn’t focus as much as most of us would on her current happiness.  So she does come off as a little emotionally closed off but I think she’s genuinely a caring person. 
 

I think she initially viewed Bob as a pesky distraction but now he’s more of a guilty temptation. 
 

I really like this show.  Hate Bob’s mustache.    

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On Mike & Molly, the leads met at an 'overeaters anonymous' meeting...a place where 'losers' often find their people....looking closer, neither character was a loser....same with Bob & Abishola...Abishola is very guarded, she's been deeply hurt. Bob is jaded following his divorce....we'll be watching this unfold as the season goes on.

And, so happy it's been expanded to a full season.

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I'm really enjoying the promo they're running, with the two of them in a restaurant.

One thing they both have in common is being loyal to their families, but not sharing temperament or values with them. That's the kind of thing that can draw people together.

They're also both kind of level-headed and responsible, surrounded by more flambouyant people. They come across as the "serious" or "nerdy" ones in their environment, and that is another thing that can make people compatible, and facilitates them relaxing with each other. When you're that kind of person, you're on guard all the time because everyone around you seems flaky and disruptive and a little crazy. But when you get into a situation with someone who shares your temperament, you can relax because you don't feel like you have to always be "the sane, sensible, responsible" person in the room.

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Message added by jewel21

Please take general discussion about race not specific to the show to the Race & Ethnicity on TV thread.

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