Season 1 Discussion

[Raja]

I guess that if they used a young Marshall Mathers instead of a (new term for me) presumed ADOS child and mother there would be less controversy?

[Winston Wolfe]

On 10/2/2019 at 7:42 AM, North of Eden said:

I don't get why Bob hearts Abishola so much when she's rude and nasty towards him. This is actually a little sad to see an aging, over weight desperate man so lonely that he would subject himself to such rude behavior in hopes of ending work being his whole life and has no circle outside his family.

I "liked" this post primarily because Bob represents a certain demographic in our society that probably flies under the radar. This show is getting off to a relatively slow start for a Lorre production, but I'm going to stick around to see if it finds its legs.

I heart Billy Gardell, from what I read he's a really sweet, decent guy IRL. Remember him getting an unexpected standing ovation from the audience on the View a few years back. He's got John Candy-potential, IMO, and I'd like to see him get a big screen opportunity.

Edited October 6, 2019 by Winston Wolfe

[jewel21]

S01.E3: A Bird May Love a Fish

Bob attempts to learn more about Nigerian customs; Abishola has to contend with gossip spreading about her relationship with Bob.

Airdate: 10.07.2019

[Snow Apple]

I keep trying to like Abishola, but three episodes in, I still can't warm up to her. She's just so dreary and boring. If this was real life, Bob would have moved on by now. There's nothing special or interesting or even nice enough to keep pursuing.

I really like the other employees at the hospital and socks warehouse though.

[jewel21]

I feel bad for Bob. He's really trying but to no avail. 

[Yeah No]

On 10/6/2019 at 12:27 AM, possibilities said:

Does anyone remember "Bridget Loves Bernie"? This show feels to me like a remake, in some ways. It feels like it's trying to be modern, but it's coming across like a throwback, and I'm not surprised there's some controversy.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bridget_Loves_Bernie

I remember that show and I thought it was contrived and full of stereotypes back THEN.  So imagine how I feel about this.....Although I do love Abishola's aunt and uncle and for that reason I'll give it a chance.  I've seen episodes 1 and 2 so far and while I don't see much chemistry or comedy between Bob and Abishola, her aunt and uncle steal the show. 

On 10/2/2019 at 8:17 PM, shapeshifter said:

I’m familiar with West African accents from being an academic librarian for 20 years. 

When I worked in university admissions I worked with Nigerian foreign students a lot so I'm familiar with it too.

Edited October 8, 2019 by Yeah No

[Harvey]

This was a transitional episode, not much actually happened. I am curious how will Abishola and Bob find their way back to each other after this. It can't be due to the manipulation of the aunt again. The last scene was so sad. 🙁

[shapeshifter]

On 10/6/2019 at 12:10 PM, piccadilly83 said:

On 10/5/2019 at 6:55 PM, Neurochick said:

Interesting.

I'm not surprised by this. I've only seen the first episode, so I can't comment on any trend in the series, but seeing as the show only has aired two episodes I think the people making this complaint are jumping the gun.  After the principal's office scene I decided I would wait for the first season to finish before judging whether that was a message the writers were trying to put forth

On 10/5/2019 at 8:01 PM, shapeshifter said:

Looking at Wikipedia, it seems not until episode 4 is 1 African American writer, Gloria Bigelow, included.

…nevertheless, episode 3, "A Bird May Love a Fish," has a relatively lengthy scene in which Vernee Watson’s character (Gloria) pretty thoroughly addresses the African prejudices towards ADOS (American Descendants of Slavery) which terminates with Gloria pointing out that if a traffic cop pulls over an African driver, he’s not going to make a differentiation, to which the African nurse responds that African drivers don’t violate traffic laws, which sounds to me much like Archie Bunker’s claims about the behaviors of white people. 

Anyway, the episode title, “A Bird May Love a Fish” (“but where would they live?” Fiddler on the Roof) is very poignant, and even more so the last line in which the African man says that Bob’s own tribe is that of the Lonely.

If Bob wasn’t so overweight, and if much wasn’t made of his size, it could be offensive that the white guy is the unbigotted character, but, as it is, and with his actions and lines he manages to pull it off. 

Plus, in this episode we learn that his first marriage to someone like himself failed, so it makes sense that he seeks someone very different now. Perhaps Abishola will be revealed to feel the same way about not wanting to be with someone from her tribe again —or not. 

I will tune in to see where this all goes. 

[SmithW6079]

5 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

If Bob wasn’t so overweight, and if much wasn’t made of his size, it could be offensive that the white guy is the unbigotted character, but, as it is, and with his actions and lines he manages to pull it off. 

Why? Because black people can't be bigots? We saw in this episode that Abishola and her friend are clearly bigots toward African Americans. 

[Snow Apple]

19 minutes ago, SmithW6079 said:

Why? Because black people can't be bigots? We saw in this episode that Abishola and her friend are clearly bigots toward African Americans. 

That pissed me off. They are suppose to be friends with Gloria but does this mean they think they are superior to her? I'm glad Gloria didn't take it and stormed off.

At least the other friend (the lunch lady) didn't have a problem with Bob and she also had a sense of humor. I liked when she said "They're rooting for you. They love love!" I see nothing appealing about Abishola so far.

[Mermaid Under]

Quote

African prejudices towards ADOS (American Descendants of Slavery) 

I think it goes the other way, as well.

[joanne3482]

I like Abishola, I don't know why.  To me, I read her as a scared character who was deeply unsuccessful in love and is now guarded because her heart got broken badly by her son's father.  She mentioned to the son he has a new family now and I can't help but suspect husband went home to go back to his good job and cheated on her and now has this new family that he's taking care of while she's living with her aunt and uncle and her life isn't as easy as his is. 

[jewel21]

I like that this show is bringing up issues like prejudices that I wasn't aware of before, like between Africans and African Americans. 

[shapeshifter]

1 hour ago, joanne3482 said:

I like Abishola, I don't know why.  To me, I read her as a scared character who was deeply unsuccessful in love and is now guarded because her heart got broken badly by her son's father.  She mentioned to the son he has a new family now and I can't help but suspect husband went home to go back to his good job and cheated on her and now has this new family that he's taking care of while she's living with her aunt and uncle and her life isn't as easy as his is. 

Reading this^ post made me realize that I was probably attracted to the show in part because I was a single mom whose exes deserted. Sorry if TMI. I never dated anyone else, so I relate to Abishola being consumed with her own and her kid’s education and wellbeing and her job.

I guess Bob is a fish who I could have had but, like Abishola so far, I said no to. Or is Bob the bird?

[Harvey]

On 10/2/2019 at 1:42 PM, North of Eden said:

I don't get why Bob hearts Abishola so much when she's rude and nasty towards him.

6 hours ago, Snow Apple said:

" I see nothing appealing about Abishola so far.

Bob loves Abishola because the way she pronounces the word "Bob" is appealing to him.

[piccadilly83]

13 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

…nevertheless, episode 3, "A Bird May Love a Fish," has a relatively lengthy scene in which Vernee Watson’s character (Gloria) pretty thoroughly addresses the African prejudices towards ADOS (American Descendants of Slavery) which terminates with Gloria pointing out that if a traffic cop pulls over an African driver, he’s not going to make a differentiation, to which the African nurse responds that African drivers don’t violate traffic laws, which sounds to me much like Archie Bunker’s claims about the behaviors of white people. 

I haven't seen this episode yet, so I probably shouldn't comment, but Gloria should have thrown the name Amadou Diallo at Abishola and had her Google that. Or Chinedu Okobi, or Lolade Siyonbola.

Edited October 8, 2019 by piccadilly83
Added names and links.

[Winston Wolfe]

9 hours ago, jewel21 said:

I like that this show is bringing up issues like prejudices that I wasn't aware of before, like between Africans and African Americans. 

Speaking as an ADOS, the bias exists between many immigrants of color (such as those from the Caribbean) towards us. The general (usually incorrect) impression they have is that we ADOS often fail to take advantage of all the opportunities available here in America, making us, ah, less than admirable. Sad, but true. I've heard it myself many times.

[tennisgurl]

The bit in the lunchroom about the issues that exist between African Americans and African immigrants was really fascinating, so often media treats black people like one totally homogeneous group from the same place with the same culture, when that is really not the case. I dont know much about the prejudice between Africans and African Americans, but I have heard about it, and it was interesting to see it here.

I like Abishola, even if she has a lot of walls up. I think she has been hurt in love and has a lot of stress in her life and that has caused her to close herself off to new people and experiences, even though it seems like she does like Bob. I do hope they can figure things out soon, I am curious as to what they would actually be like as a couple.

[Dbolt]

I know a few Africans and from my limited knowledge they consider most African Americans to be lazy and entitled (their words not mine). Like the poster said above, I think it stems from them feeling like they don’t appreciate the opportunity living in America presents compared to much of Africa. I worked as a manufacturing supervisor for awhile and most of my employees were Hispanic (many actually illegals with false IDs) and some African Americans with just a few whites. The biggest racial tension was between the Hispanic and the AA’s with inter Hispanic tension a very close second. The legal Hispanic treated the illegals poorly and certain nationalities had conflicts. The Guatemalans hate the Mexicans and the Mexicans treat the Guatemalans like inferior people. They all dislike the Colombians who they say are stuck up and lazy. It was an eye opening experience. 

[Boofish]

My husband is white and like Abishola when we first met I was like 'I don't think so' I had never dated outside of my race and didn't want to spend my life explaining my culture and hair 😂Sad but true. Long story short November 10 is our first wedding anniversary

[Boofish]

I wish they would give her a little more personality but I wish the people surrounding her would stop the "bow and be grateful a rich white man like you" narrative. This show could be a lot better if they weren't so interested in everyone repping for their culture except poor Bob.

[Harvey]

3 hours ago, Boofish said:

I wish they would give her a little more personality but I wish the people surrounding her would stop the "bow and be grateful a rich white man like you" narrative. This show could be a lot better if they weren't so interested in everyone repping for their culture except poor Bob.

Looking at the episode descriptions, looks like that will stop next week.

[shapeshifter]

On 10/8/2019 at 1:54 PM, Harvey said:

On 10/2/2019 at 6:42 AM, North of Eden said:

I don't get why Bob hearts Abishola so much when she's rude and nasty towards him.

On 10/8/2019 at 6:55 AM, Snow Apple said:

" I see nothing appealing about Abishola so far.

Bob loves Abishola because the way she pronounces the word "Bob" is appealing to him.

That song she sang him seemed to really make him swoon when he recalled it after he was out of the hospital in the first episode, but (unfortunately, IMO), they haven't had him flash back to the song in the last 2 eps . Maybe the song memory will return in an upcoming episode.
  
  

On 10/8/2019 at 3:02 PM, piccadilly83 said:

I haven't seen this episode yet, so I probably shouldn't comment, but Gloria should have thrown the name Amadou Diallo at Abishola and had her Google that. Or Chinedu Okobi, or Lolade Siyonbola.

Good point(s). Maybe one or more of these will come up in another discussion among the nurses over lunch.

[CrazyMoon]

On 10/1/2019 at 12:00 PM, mammaM said:

Eh, television. At least she COULD be his mother. Since everyone's comparing this to Mike & Molly, here's something that'll really drive you nuts. Cleo King is 7 years older than Reno Wilson, yet on M&M they're Mike's bff and his grandmother! She wears a wig but still, it's a woman playing grandma to someone who's only 7 years younger!😂

And yes, Christine has a great voice.

I loved Cleo King in M&M...and it was a great little show. The cast was outstanding...

[Yeah No]

15 hours ago, Dbolt said:

The biggest racial tension was between the Hispanic and the AA’s with inter Hispanic tension a very close second. The legal Hispanic treated the illegals poorly and certain nationalities had conflicts. The Guatemalans hate the Mexicans and the Mexicans treat the Guatemalans like inferior people. They all dislike the Colombians who they say are stuck up and lazy. It was an eye opening experience. 

I grew up in the Bronx and had an early education into the prejudices between and within various ethnic groups, especially Hispanics, so some of that is familiar to me.  I also learned from Puerto Rican friends how they can tend to look down on Dominicans and even other Puerto Ricans from "the sticks".

One thing I will say for this show is that the segment discussed above makes people aware that prejudice is not only perpetrated by whites toward other races.  And that's a good thing, IMO because I think there's a tendency these days to think only white people can be ethnically prejudiced.

Edited October 10, 2019 by Yeah No

[Yeah No]

8 hours ago, Boofish said:

I wish they would give her a little more personality but I wish the people surrounding her would stop the "bow and be grateful a rich white man like you" narrative. This show could be a lot better if they weren't so interested in everyone repping for their culture except poor Bob.

I know, but I actually I think the show would be better if they gave Bob an ethnic identity, like say being of Irish or German descent rather than him just being portrayed as the generic white bread guy.  Give him equal time to represent a specific cultural background.

[CrazyMoon]

24 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

I know, but I actually I think the show would be better if they gave Bob an ethnic identity, like say being of Irish or German descent rather than him just being portrayed as the generic white bread guy.  Give him equal time to represent a specific cultural background.

A generic white bread guy who speaks fluent Mandarin....you don't see that everyday

[JeezumCrow]

I’m enjoying the show more than I expected to, so I’ll continue to stick around. There’s no character I don’t like (even if I can’t call Bob’s brother anything but Badger). The only things that annoy me are the time bumpers (“A little later,” “That night,” etc - they’re too frequent and sometimes difficult to read, anyway) and the “Previously On,” which is too long (I get that they want to recap the continuing story, but it needs to be quicker - more like Glee’s manic recap used to be than just replaying a bunch of punch lines from last week). 

[SmithW6079]

35 minutes ago, JeezumCrow said:

The only things that annoy me are the time bumpers (“A little later,” “That night,” etc - they’re too frequent and sometimes difficult to read, anyway)

I love those. I think it's clever the way they're incorporated into location shots. 

[joanne3482]

Isn't there a thing where sometimes patients are so grateful to their caregiver they think they are in love with them? That could be some of Bob's current infatuation with Abishola. In his darkest and lowest time she was there for him. 

[jumper sage]

I am enjoying the show.

My one beef is that the writers can't even do a little research.  Abishola said her husband was a civil engineer back home and in Detroit was a toll booth operator.  Michigan has no toll roads.  I do appreciate the look of the streets as they do look like downtown and, in particular, the lower east side and farmers market area.

[Snow Apple]

22 minutes ago, joanne3482 said:

Isn't there a thing where sometimes patients are so grateful to their caregiver they think they are in love with them? That could be some of Bob's current infatuation with Abishola. In his darkest and lowest time she was there for him. 

Florence Nightingale Syndrome.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

On 10/8/2019 at 12:51 AM, Harvey said:

This was a transitional episode, not much actually happened. I am curious how will Abishola and Bob find their way back to each other after this. It can't be due to the manipulation of the aunt again. The last scene was so sad. 🙁

Honestly, I don't care how they "find their way back to each other".  I won't be watching again.

I enjoyed the pilot episode, but Abishola doesn't deserve a guy like Bob.  I tried to warm up to her-- but she's  just a mean, soulless bitch. 

[Crazy Bird Lady]

On 10/2/2019 at 6:42 AM, North of Eden said:

I don't get why Bob hearts Abishola so much when she's rude and nasty towards him. This is actually a little [?!] sad to see an aging, over weight desperate man so lonely that he would subject himself to such rude behavior in hopes of ending work being his whole life and has no circle outside his family.

I totally agree about Abishola being rude and nasty. It's way more than a "little" bit sad. 

I realize this show is supposed to be an "equal opportunity offender" when it comes to racist jokes-- but fat older white men seem to be fair game for every possible type of cruel treatment-- like [supposedly humorous] race-biased "comedy", repetitive fat jokes, jokes about greedy money-grubbing relatives with blatant plans to take advantage of the fat old lonely white man, and everything else). 

Edited October 10, 2019 by Crazy Bird Lady

[topanga]

44 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

Honestly, I don't care how they "find their way back to each other".  I won't be watching again.

I enjoyed the pilot episode, but Abishola doesn't deserve a guy like Bob.  I tried to warm up to her-- but she's  just a mean, soulless bitch. 

I see Abishola as a no-nonsense woman who's focused on work and her son. Sometimes it makes her seem cold or unfeeling. 

Yes, she could be nicer to Bob, but I don't find her mean or soulless. A little humorless, perhaps. But that can change. 

[ctlady]

40 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

I realize this show is supposed to be an "equal opportunity offender" when it comes to racist jokes-- but fat older white men seem to be fair game for every possible type of cruel treatment-- like [supposedly humorous] race-biased "comedy", repetitive fat jokes, jokes about greedy money-grubbing relatives with blatant plans to take advantage of the fat old lonely white man, and everything else). 

Couldn't have said it better myself.

After this episode (which I didn't even finish), I'm done.  The first 2 episodes were enough to keep me wanting to check out more (the aunt and uncle and Abishola's two hospital friends are a hoot), but I do agree that she can be a tad bit standoffish while Bob is really smitten and trying hard

Also - when they decided to go there with Vernee Watson's dialogue about racism - I decided I had enough.  I understand there are issues in today's political and social climate that are very sensitive and hot button, but when I want that, then I'll watch the news.  When I watch a television show - especially a comedy - I want to be entertained.  I want to laugh.  I want it to be silly, fun and light-hearted.  I want to forget about what's going on in this world for those precious 19-22 minutes (plus commercials) What I don't want is the show runners having to weave that into the dialogue.  So....I've had enough.  I don't think it'll make it a full season anyway, let alone get renewed. 

[Raja]

On 10/8/2019 at 10:03 PM, tennisgurl said:

The bit in the lunchroom about the issues that exist between African Americans and African immigrants was really fascinating, so often media treats black people like one totally homogeneous group from the same place with the same culture, when that is really not the case. I dont know much about the prejudice between Africans and African Americans, but I have heard about it, and it was interesting to see it here.

I like Abishola, even if she has a lot of walls up. I think she has been hurt in love and has a lot of stress in her life and that has caused her to close herself off to new people and experiences, even though it seems like she does like Bob. I do hope they can figure things out soon, I am curious as to what they would actually be like as a couple.

At the last wedding which I attended I heard the beginning of that hierarchy. The bride was not a fellow Nigerian Igbo from the same religious subset of Christianity but from Tanzania. I couldn't help but notice after hearing it that practically all the "ADOS" that I know by now a couple of generations since it became legal, have a few interracial and cultural families in the family tree.

[Dbolt]

3 hours ago, jumper sage said:

I am enjoying the show.

My one beef is that the writers can't even do a little research.  Abishola said her husband was a civil engineer back home and in Detroit was a toll booth operator.  Michigan has no toll roads.  I do appreciate the look of the streets as they do look like downtown and, in particular, the lower east side and farmers market area.

Maybe she and her son moved to Detroit to live with the aunt and uncle after her husband went back to Nigeria. 

[Harvey]

3 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

I totally agree about Abishola being rude and nasty. It's way more than a "little" bit sad. 

I realize this show is supposed to be an "equal opportunity offender" when it comes to racist jokes-- but fat older white men seem to be fair game for every possible type of cruel treatment-- like [supposedly humorous] race-biased "comedy", repetitive fat jokes, jokes about greedy money-grubbing relatives with blatant plans to take advantage of the fat old lonely white man, and everything else). 

There are some points you have made.

I will keep watching though, besides this and The Neighborhood there is literally nothing good on Tv on Mondays that I am aware of. And I find this show to actually be more charming than The Neighborhood.

Edited October 10, 2019 by Harvey

[joanne3482]

To be fair, Abishola has made it abundantly clear she is not interested in Bob. HE stalked her to her home to bring her socks. HE has come to her work to see her. Just because her aunt and uncle and coworkers are pressuring her to be with him does not make HER interested. So if she's being a bitch to him it is because he keeps popping up where she is uninvited. In this past episode he was at her home talking to her aunt and uncle. She didn't know he followed them after they followed him.  She's a woman who is being disrespected by Bob and all of her friends. I would be bitchy too if that were the case.

This happens to women in real life.  They are expected to be flattered or find it heart warming that some guy is interested in them. They can be mistreated if they happen to reject a "nice" guy. Now because of the actors, this isn't reading this way, yet, but Abishola is under no obligation to be nice to Bob just because he is interested in her. 

[Neurochick]

1 hour ago, joanne3482 said:

To be fair, Abishola has made it abundantly clear she is not interested in Bob. HE stalked her to her home to bring her socks. HE has come to her work to see her. Just because her aunt and uncle and coworkers are pressuring her to be with him does not make HER interested. So if she's being a bitch to him it is because he keeps popping up where she is uninvited. In this past episode he was at her home talking to her aunt and uncle. She didn't know he followed them after they followed him.  She's a woman who is being disrespected by Bob and all of her friends. I would be bitchy too if that were the case.

This happens to women in real life.  They are expected to be flattered or find it heart warming that some guy is interested in them. They can be mistreated if they happen to reject a "nice" guy. Now because of the actors, this isn't reading this way, yet, but Abishola is under no obligation to be nice to Bob just because he is interested in her. 

Great point.  I can't stand it that woman are often supposed to be flattered when a man shows interest in him even though they might not feel the same.

[shapeshifter]

40 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

1 hour ago, joanne3482 said:

This happens to women in real life.  They are expected to be flattered or find it heart warming that some guy is interested in them. They can be mistreated if they happen to reject a "nice" guy. Now because of the actors, this isn't reading this way, yet, but Abishola is under no obligation to be nice to Bob just because he is interested in her. 

Great point.  I can't stand it that woman are often supposed to be flattered when a man shows interest in him even though they might not feel the same.

In order for Abishola to not be shown in this disrespected light, we would need to see her acting flirtatious with Bob, and to have at least one of her friends witness it. This should have happened already, and I suppose there may have been a few subtle hints --or not.

But so far, every time this show has gone off in a really terrible direction, the next episodes show self-correction.
It seems in the next episode we will see Abishola standing up for herself in a meaningful way, and the other characters realizing the error of their ways and backing off.

[CrazyMoon]

8 hours ago, topanga said:

I see Abishola as a no-nonsense woman who's focused on work and her son. Sometimes it makes her seem cold or unfeeling. 

Yes, she could be nicer to Bob, but I don't find her mean or soulless. A little humorless, perhaps. But that can change. 

She's guarded...she's been hurt and finding a guy like Bob is so confusing to her. Plus, she's protective of her son.

10 hours ago, jumper sage said:

I am enjoying the show.

My one beef is that the writers can't even do a little research.  Abishola said her husband was a civil engineer back home and in Detroit was a toll booth operator.  Michigan has no toll roads.  I do appreciate the look of the streets as they do look like downtown and, in particular, the lower east side and farmers market area.

Michigan does have toll tunnels & bridges... but perhaps she did move her son away from where they had lived as a family...

[Crazy Bird Lady]

2 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I can't stand it that woman are often supposed to be flattered when a man shows interest in him even though they might not feel the same.

I agree with that. I disagree with the premise that Bob was "stalking" her by finding out where she lived so he could bring her a pair of free compression socks, like he had promised he would. 

There is some obvious stalking that took place on the second episode-- it was perpetrated by Abishola's greedy family!

Bob respectfully told Abishola's ridiculously intrusive relatives that he didn't want them arranging dates for him, he was only interested in how Abishola felt about it. She said --OK, they could meet, but only for tea-- but when she showed up at that bench at the agreed-upon time, she very rudely informed him that he could keep the tea and she wouldn't be seeing him anymore.

(Yes of course, that was Abishola's choice to make. But it doesn't make her a nice person!)

Abishola can do Abishola. I'll do me and find something better to do with my time.

[Snow Apple]

I consider finding out where she lives so he can drop off socks stalking and creepy in real life. He could have visited the hospital during her shift. Since this is a show, I give him points for backing off.

But I agree with the rest above.

[Yeah No]

13 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

I totally agree about Abishola being rude and nasty. It's way more than a "little" bit sad. 

I realize this show is supposed to be an "equal opportunity offender" when it comes to racist jokes-- but fat older white men seem to be fair game for every possible type of cruel treatment-- like [supposedly humorous] race-biased "comedy", repetitive fat jokes, jokes about greedy money-grubbing relatives with blatant plans to take advantage of the fat old lonely white man, and everything else). 

Yeah, I totally agree with that, which is one reason I wouldn't even suggest this show to Mr. Yeah No because he would probably take it personally, get pissed off and tell me to get it off his screen.  Like why does the older, heavy white guy have to be portrayed as a pathetic creepy relationship loser?  Mr. Yeah No is already upset with the way men in general of any race are being portrayed in commercials, even the famous "She Shed" commercial, where wimpy Victor can't put out a fire and looks scared of his dominant wife Cheryl.  I realize that for a long time white men were made to look like the expert and winner in all ways, often correcting and condescending women and people of other races in commercials and on TV, but this kind of reversal isn't right either, IMO.

[Neurochick]

9 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Yeah, I totally agree with that, which is one reason I wouldn't even suggest this show to Mr. Yeah No because he would probably take it personally, get pissed off and tell me to get it off his screen.  Like why does the older, heavy white guy have to be portrayed as a pathetic creepy relationship loser?  Mr. Yeah No is already upset with the way men in general of any race are being portrayed in commercials, even the famous "She Shed" commercial, where wimpy Victor can't put out a fire and looks scared of his dominant wife Cheryl.  I realize that for a long time white men were made to look like the expert and winner in all ways, often correcting and condescending women and people of other races in commercials and on TV, but this kind of reversal isn't right either, IMO.

I don't know.  For decades white males were portrayed as the winners in life, the center of all stories.  In fact, it still is that way in most movies.  Now that a few TV shows show white males differently, folks scream that it's unfair.

[ctlady]

1 hour ago, Neurochick said:

I don't know.  For decades white males were portrayed as the winners in life, the center of all stories.  In fact, it still is that way in most movies.  Now that a few TV shows show white males differently, folks scream that it's unfair.

I don't think it's so much Bob's race, but his physical appearance.  I'm not heavy, but Mr. Ctlady is and I really bristle when I see the 'fat guy' being taken pot shots at or even taking shots at himself in a self deprecating manner.  Can you imagine if it were reversed and it was an obese woman being the brunt of fat comments, even subtle ones?

[digressing]I have this same problem on Blue Bloods whenever someone makes a derogatory weight related comment about Anthony.  He's a big guy.  I get it.  We can all see it.  I don't need some snarky dialogue being written into the script to point out the obvious.  Yet, the most current BB episode had Erin going up against a female defense attorney who was so large that it impaired her walking and sitting in a narrow chair.  I'd like to see all the body positivity police come out against anyone who'd comment on her weight, but Anthony is fair game?[/digressing\

…. back to the regularly scheduled programming...

18 hours ago, joanne3482 said:

To be fair, Abishola has made it abundantly clear she is not interested in Bob. HE stalked her to her home to bring her socks. HE has come to her work to see her

This could nicely be avoided by Abishola just coming out and telling Bob, "thank but no thanks.  I'm not interested.  Actually, I'm still legally married so let's just be bus aquaintenances and end it there"  But....if that happened, there wouldn't be a show.  I do feel she's interested in more of a friendship at first, but doesn't know how to process it.  But now that we know of a husband she hasn't seen in 8 years and no mention that they are divorced or legally separated, she needs to be up front with Bob about that so he can channel his energy elsewhere.  But....if that happened there wouldn't be a show

Edited October 11, 2019 by ctlady

[Neurochick]

1 hour ago, ctlady said:

I don't think it's so much Bob's race, but his physical appearance.  I'm not heavy, but Mr. Ctlady is and I really bristle when I see the 'fat guy' being taken pot shots at or even taking shots at himself in a self deprecating manner.  Can you imagine if it were reversed and it was an obese woman being the brunt of fat comments, even subtle ones?

In the media, as in real life, overweight women are mistreated more than overweight men, not that overweight men are not mistreated, but women get the brunt of it because women are supposed to be a size 00 with 40DD breasts. 

How many shows have been on TV where an overweight man has a hot wife?  How many shows have there been on TV where an overweight woman has a hot husband?  I'm sure there are more on the male side, but I could be mistaken.

Edited October 11, 2019 by Neurochick

[joanne3482]

1 hour ago, ctlady said:

I don't think it's so much Bob's race, but his physical appearance.  I'm not heavy, but Mr. Ctlady is and I really bristle when I see the 'fat guy' being taken pot shots at or even taking shots at himself in a self deprecating manner.  Can you imagine if it were reversed and it was an obese woman being the brunt of fat comments, even subtle ones?

And yet Kevin James has had TWO TV shows where he, the fat guy, has had a hot, successful wife while I've never seen the reverse. And while they've gotten better about women being the brunt of fat comments, there are still shows that fat shame women.

4 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

How many shows have been on TV where an overweight man has a hot wife?  How many shows have there been on TV where an overweight woman has a hot husband?  I'm sure there are more on the male side, but I could be mistaken.

As a fat chick, I've never seen advertised a show with a plus sized woman with a hot husband. And by plus sized woman I mean REAL plus sized woman, not a normal sized woman who Hollywood deems plus size because she is a size 6 and not a size 0. 

Next week looks promising. I think I'm going to be amused by their dating stories.