S03.E03: Pack Your Bags

[Drogo]

Avery hits a major roadblock on her way to Lebanon; Angela asks her daughter for a favor that would be life-changing, and Caesar must convince Maria to go to Mexico.

Airs 8/11/19. 
 

[Spike]

The first hour has been available for a day and no snark?

Edited August 7, 2019 by Spike

[John M]

Does anyone else think that Caesar's scammer might be using a soundboard to reply to his phone calls? The responses seem pretty generic and the inflection sounds off. Maybe it's just English being their native language. 

[happy hobo]

13 hours ago, Spike said:

The first hour has been available for a day and no snark?

It appears people are using the "live chat" rice-a-roni board since its not locked.

[Mrs. Hanson]

Okay I just watched this on Hulu and I won't spoil anything (without putting stuff in spoiler tags, lol)  but I will say I straight up, gangster style HATE Veronica, Timothy's ex fiance, or as I call her:  Shit Stirring Woman Who Clearly Loves Timothy and Needs to TURN! HER! VOICE! DOWN!  There was a going away party for Tim and her outfit SCREAMED "Look at me, bitch!  Yeah, you are gonna compete with me, Miss Colombia!"  Veronica knew there would be pictures taken to be sent to Jeniffer (sp?) and she was playing her hand.  She used some lovely language to describe Tim's FIANCE in front of her DAUGHTER.  I actually felt bad for Timothy, I really did.  

Spoiler

His friends were mocking him and Veronica bullied him into taking and sending a picture that she knew FULL WELL would upset his fiance.  And then offered up her old engagement ring to use to propose to Jeniffer with!!!  Yeah, that is gonna go over real well.  Bitch.

If you want to see the MOST awkward night out with three ladies, be sure to not miss Darcy's segment.  With friends like these who the hell needs enemies?

But the best part is Big Angela:  You will never regret the meeting with DJ Brad (I think that was his name) the event coordinator, as he has some of the best lines, ever:  "Hey you give me your sins and I will do my best to accommodate them."  "She has a champagne taste with a malt liquor budget."  and:  "You can't roll in here, expecting a $5000 wedding and pay me $100!"  (I am paraphrasing that last one but damn he was gold!!  Big Angela wants this theme and that theme and FIREWORKS but is reluctant to open the purse strings.  Her solution?  FLY TO NIGERIA of course!!!

Rebecca:  Girl, just stay home.  I want to feel for you but I just can't.  Turns out:

Spoiler

She is still legally married but plans on sleeping with Creepy Stalker within five minutes of meeting him but is worried Creepy Stalker's dad will not have a high opinion of her.  YA THINK?

Edited August 8, 2019 by Mrs. Hanson

[Spike]

26 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Okay I just watched this on Hulu and I won't spoil anything (without putting stuff in spoiler tags, lol)  but I will say I straight up, gangster style HATE Veronica, Timothy's ex fiance, or as I call her:  Shit Stirring Woman Who Clearly Loves Timothy and Needs to TURN! HER! VOICE! DOWN!  There was a going away party for Tim and her outfit SCREAMED "Look at me, bitch!  Yeah, you are gonna compete with me, Miss Colombia!"  Veronica knew there would be pictures taken to be sent to Jeniffer (sp?) and she was playing her hand.  She used some lovely language to describe Tim's FIANCE in front of her DAUGHTER.  I actually felt bad for Timothy, I really did.  

  Hide contents

His friends were mocking him and Veronica bullied him into taking and sending a picture that she knew FULL WELL would upset his fiance.  And then offered up her old engagement ring to use to propose to Jeniffer with!!!  Yeah, that is gonna go over real well.  Bitch.

If you want to see the MOST awkward night out with three ladies, be sure to not miss Darcy's segment.  With friends like these who the hell needs enemies?

But the best part is Big Angela:  You will never regret the meeting with DJ Brad (I think that was his name) the event coordinator, as he has some of the best lines, ever:  "Hey you give me your sins and I will do my best to accommodate them."  "She has a champagne taste with a malt liquor budget."  and:  "You can't roll in here, expecting a $5000 wedding and pay me $100!"  (I am paraphrasing that last one but damn he was gold!!  Big Angela wants this theme and that theme and FIREWORKS but is reluctant to open the purse strings.  Her solution?  FLY TO NIGERIA of course!!!

Rebecca:  Girl, just stay home.  I want to feel for you but I just can't.  Turns out:

  Hide contents

She is still legally married but plans on sleeping with Creepy Stalker within five minutes of meeting him but is worried Creepy Stalker's dad will not have a high opinion of her.  YA THINK?

Wedding planner was baked out of his mind.

[Mrs. Hanson]

8 minutes ago, Spike said:

Wedding planner was baked out of his mind.

Totally baked, hence I love him even more.

[magemaud]

The Grammar Police cringed when Angela said "Michael and I's wedding" at least twice! 

[zenme]

8 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Totally baked, hence I love him even more.

He reminded me of the campsite front desk guy from the original Vacation movie. 

No MAGA hat on him? He looked flummoxed when Angela mentioned a Nigerian themed wedding and he suggested the best they could do is roast a goat.

[Mrs. Hanson]

11 hours ago, magemaud said:

The Grammar Police cringed when Angela said "Michael and I's wedding" at least twice! 

The Grammar Police in my cringes every time Angela speaks, ever.

4 hours ago, zenme said:

He reminded me of the campsite front desk guy from the original Vacation movie. 

No MAGA hat on him? He looked flummoxed when Angela mentioned a Nigerian themed wedding and he suggested the best they could do is roast a goat.

I was shocked he knew about roasting a goat.  I hope there was more footage, but Angela:  It is YOUR JOB to know how to throw an African wedding.  Do not leave it up to a stoned guy from the backwoods of Georgia.

[Drogo]

20 hours ago, happy hobo said:

It appears people are using the "live chat" rice-a-roni board since its not locked.

Yep.  I wanted to keep the chat unlocked since it didn't automatically unlock last episode, but... (bold mine)

[magemaud]

1 hour ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

I was shocked he knew about roasting a goat.

Maybe he thinks it’s just like roasting a big possum? 

Edited August 8, 2019 by magemaud

[magemaud]

5 hours ago, zenme said:

He looked flummoxed when Angela mentioned a Nigerian themed wedding and he suggested the best they could do is roast a goat.

He looked permanently flummoxed! 

What if he WASN’T high and that’s his everyday normal?

Edited August 8, 2019 by magemaud

[Mothra]

Others have mentioned Caesar's stick-out ears, but my god, his ears have *no folds* in them! 

[John M]

I don't think I ever caught that Angela is a nursing assistant.

People think because it has the word nursing in it and they work in the medical field that it is lucrative and respected position, people even get scammed by for-profit colleges to get what they think are degrees in it.

Nursing assistant is like one step above janitor, it's like a $8-$12 an hour job where you do all the unpleasant stuff like cleaning up feces that actually qualified people that are well paid don't want to do. 

Edited August 8, 2019 by John M

[Spike]

51 minutes ago, Mothra said:

Others have mentioned Caesar's stick-out ears, but my god, his ears have *no folds* in them! 

Is that called jug-eared?

6 minutes ago, John M said:

I don't think I ever caught that Angela is a nursing assistant.

People think because it has the word nursing in it and they work in the medical field that it is lucrative and respected position, people even get scammed by for-profit colleges to get what they think are degrees in it.

Nursing assistant is like one step above janitor, it's like a $8-$12 an hour job where you do all the unpleasant stuff like cleaning up feces that actually qualified people that are well paid don't want to do. 

Yes that is why she is so concerned whether Michael will wipe her ass - she does that all day.

[Mothra]

20 minutes ago, Spike said:

Is that called jug-eared?

Nah--I think jug ears is when your ears stick out flat from your head (cf. Prince Charles).  This is different and maybe a clinical sign of something (like stupidity):  no folds, like the ones you're supposed to use Q Tips for but no one does everyone knows Q Tips are for digging out ear wax.  So this guy has no excuse whatsoever for buying Q Tips.

[Spike]

15 minutes ago, Mothra said:

Nah--I think jug ears is when your ears stick out flat from your head (cf. Prince Charles).  This is different and maybe a clinical sign of something (like stupidity):  no folds, like the ones you're supposed to use Q Tips for but no one does everyone knows Q Tips are for digging out ear wax.  So this guy has no excuse whatsoever for buying Q Tips.

Off topic but I noticed that a lot of guys on the Bachelorette had very red ears.  It is distracting when they have light complexions.

[Mothra]

3 minutes ago, Spike said:

Off topic but I noticed that a lot of guys on the Bachelorette had very red ears.  It is distracting when they have light complexions.

<snort>

You watch *the Bachelorette*???

<snort>

[Spike]

17 minutes ago, Mothra said:

<snort>

You watch *the Bachelorette*???

<snort>

Trash reality tv is fungible to me.  

[Mothra]

15 minutes ago, Spike said:

Trash reality tv is fungible to me.  

Fungible my ass.  There are depths to which even I (fan of Love After Lockup for chrissakes) will not plunge.  Although you do watch FC for the benefit of all mankind and womankind, so there is redemption to be found.

Go in peace, my friend.

[Spike]

3 hours ago, Mothra said:

Nah--I think jug ears is when your ears stick out flat from your head (cf. Prince Charles).  This is different and maybe a clinical sign of something (like stupidity):  no folds, like the ones you're supposed to use Q Tips for but no one does everyone knows Q Tips are for digging out ear wax.  So this guy has no excuse whatsoever for buying Q Tips.

Yeah that was the part I meant.  When your ears are at a 90 degree angle like Dumbo.  I think Cesar’s are kinda like that.

That genetic thing is like when people can touch their nose with their tongue or wiggle their ears.

[Mothra]

55 minutes ago, Spike said:

Yeah that was the part I meant.  When your ears are at a 90 degree angle like Dumbo.  I think Cesar’s are kinda like that.

That genetic thing is like when people can touch their nose with their tongue or wiggle their ears.

Yes but usually stuff like that is harmless, good for making little children laugh and winning bets, but sometimes genetic traits, like for instance an abnormally low hairline (Klippel Feil Syndrome) and *maybe* Caesar's foldless ears, signify a problem.   I'm wondering if foldless ears are characteristic of something that makes you really stupid, like being unable to check online if there's a war going on in Ukraine that would keep your girlfriend from getting on an airplane to Mexico.

[John M]

I want to say Caesar is particularly stupid but infatuation, "love", obsession makes people do insane things and I think we have all seen it with what we would consider otherwise rational people.

[happy hobo]

I want to say that I think Caesar is just playing a role and the whole darn thing is fake, fake, fake!. No one could possibly be that dumb....and he's an "actor". 

[Gobi]

6 hours ago, happy hobo said:

I want to say that I think Caesar is just playing a role and the whole darn thing is fake, fake, fake!. No one could possibly be that dumb....and he's an "actor". 

I hope so.

[RealReality]

14 hours ago, John M said:

I want to say Caesar is particularly stupid but infatuation, "love", obsession makes people do insane things and I think we have all seen it with what we would consider otherwise rational people.

Insane things ....okay.  But sending 40k to a disembodied phone voice (who can barely stand him) who has some generic pics and videos is particularly egregious when he has a young child. 

It's one thing to waste money on your own behalf.  I don't feel any pity for him, but whatever, the only person bearing the repercussions would be him.  But that $40k and $800 a month and money for three plane tickets for "maria" could have gone into a college fund or a trust for his child. 

Unless something drastic changes, many employees are going to continue to demand a college degree like they used to demand a high school diploma.  Or a child will need to attend a trade school.

But apparently it was more important that random ukranian woman in video who tries to get off the phone as soon as possible lives the good life.

[magemaud]

“I think Tom’s being a little flirtatious. It bothers me, but I don’t want to show that it upsets me. Don’t want to seem desperate...” 

[magemaud]

I just noticed her creative name spelling. 

[BoomerRumor]

On 8/7/2019 at 10:18 AM, happy hobo said:

It appears people are using the "live chat" rice-a-roni board since its not locked.

Where is that? Is it on a different website?

[Kareem]

It’s here, Boom.  You can go to the main 90 Day Fiancé heading, where the individual shows, couples and specials are listed, scroll down a short way and you’ll see the Rice a Roni thread.   

[magemaud]

It can be tricky to find, but it's SO worth it! You can only post during the first airing of an episode but you can read and react to it at any time. The same chat is for ALL the 90 Day shows and spin-offs so it’s over 400 pages at this point. I always think the chat snark is better than the show! 

Edited August 11, 2019 by magemaud

[Spike]

10 hours ago, magemaud said:

I just noticed her creative name spelling. 

Although he would have typed it in and he seems pretty dumb.

[magemaud]

I can't find her name on TLC's official website, but other sources have also spelled it with one "n" and two "f"s. Anyway, I think all these Colombian Cupid names are fake anyway like Melissa (or was it Mellisa?) and are not the women's real names. 

[DVDFreaker]

Caesar has being dating a scammer for 5 years and still does not realize it? Caesar should have realized the first time that Maria is trying to avoid meeting him, he should have broke it off! 

Edited August 10, 2019 by DVDFreaker

[RealReality]

3 hours ago, Spike said:

Although he would have typed it in and he seems pretty dumb.

I think TLC spells it the same way.  But it's not impossible that they are dummies too.

[Spike]

51 minutes ago, DVDFreaker said:

Caesar has being dating a scammer for 5 years and still does not realize it? Caesar should have realized the first time that Maria is trying to avoid meeting him, he should have broke it off! 

Maybe it is Andrei altering his voice.  We know he’s not interested in working.

[blubld43]

3 hours ago, DVDFreaker said:

Caesar has being dating a scammer for 5 years and still does not realize it? Caesar should have realized the first time that Maria is trying to avoid meeting him, he should have broke it off! 

I keep getting annoyed by Caesar's use of the word "dating" ( or any of these idiots).  You are not "dating", you've never seen her! Dates indicate getting together and going out somewhere, or staying home together.......in any case, none of these couples are "dating".

I don't know what you'd call it. 

[Spike]

52 minutes ago, blubld43 said:

I keep getting annoyed by Caesar's use of the word "dating" ( or any of these idiots).  You are not "dating", you've never seen her! Dates indicate getting together and going out somewhere, or staying home together.......in any case, none of these couples are "dating".

I don't know what you'd call it. 

It also normally involves physical intimacy.  Seventh graders who just kiss are further along in their relationships than these folks.

[John M]

1 hour ago, blubld43 said:

I keep getting annoyed by Caesar's use of the word "dating" ( or any of these idiots).  You are not "dating", you've never seen her! Dates indicate getting together and going out somewhere, or staying home together.......in any case, none of these couples are "dating".

I don't know what you'd call it. 

I don't want to come off as dismissing the validity of long distance relationships but these people are supposedly planning on getting married after within a few months and I don't think you can make a decision on something like that until you REALLY know someone. I lived with my husband for two years before we got married and believe me, I learned lot in that period.

[blubld43]

19 minutes ago, John M said:

I don't want to come off as dismissing the validity of long distance relationships but these people are supposedly planning on getting married after within a few months and I don't think you can make a decision on something like that until you REALLY know someone. I lived with my husband for two years before we got married and believe me, I learned lot in that period.

IMO it's just nuts to plan marriage with someone you've never seen in person. All of these people have the emotional maturity of teenagers.

Caesar could find a good, family oriented woman right in his own town. He wants the dream though, and he's going to fall hard when he has to face the truth.

I will never understand the mindset of these people.

Edited August 10, 2019 by blubld43

[RealReality]

44 minutes ago, blubld43 said:

IMO it's just nuts to plan marriage with someone you've never seen in person. All of these people have the emotional maturity of teenagers.

Caesar could find a good, family oriented woman right in his own town. He wants the dream though, and he's going to fall hard when he has to face the truth.

I will never understand the mindset of these people.

The pictures of ceasar in his couples thread makes me think that he thinks he is only slightly out of Maria's league and therefore he really thinks she could be into him.

Edited August 10, 2019 by RealReality

[Mrs. Hanson]

4 hours ago, Spike said:

It also normally involves physical intimacy.  Seventh graders who just kiss are further along in their relationships than these folks.

I was further along with Jim B., my crush from 1977 to 1979 in junior high who I never spoke to than these fools.

[magemaud]

Speaking of 7th grade, Darcey and Tom’s texts seem to be on that level 

[Mothra]

14 hours ago, RealReality said:

The pictures of ceasar in his couples thread makes me think that he thinks he is only slightly out of Maria's league and therefore he really thinks she could be into him.

My theory is that there is no Maria; "Date Ukrainian Babes" or whatever the website is is a sophisticated money-making machine for Ukrainian trolls who hire young women for voices and maybe other young women for photos.  Once they get the mark to buy $450 flowers, they know they've got a live one, and that mark gets to talk to the babe any time he wants.  But the babe (i.e. the voice) is not paid extra for these impromptu calls (their contract probably covers something like five telephone contacts/week), so of course "Maria" sounded annoyed and eager to get off the phone--that call was on *her* dime, so to speak.  The prime directive is that the mark never, ever gets to meet his "girlfriend" in person--I bet there is no man who signed up for love on that website who has *ever* met his soulmate, ever, and there never will be.

Caesar, with TLC money behind him, may the the fly in the Ukrainian soup.  Let's see if all their excuses about why they can't meet can stand up to Caesar's insane persistence and TLC's backing.  Pass the popcorn.

[HorrrGoodnight]

Timothys ex is totally jealous. She doesn't think Baby Jesus would appreciate being tattooed between Ms. Colombia's tatas. Mmmmm ok that's the best you could do, girl?? Haters gonna hate. 

[RealReality]

46 minutes ago, SlutAssBitchAssHor said:

Timothys ex is totally jealous. She doesn't think Baby Jesus would appreciate being tattooed between Ms. Colombia's tatas. Mmmmm ok that's the best you could do, girl?? Haters gonna hate. 

His ex seems like a nasty piece of work.  And she cannot talk shit while wearing that four sizes too small Fredrickas of Hollywood bodysuit.

[Drogo]

The episode topic will be locked during the live ET airing, but join us here during those 2 hours:

[Adeejay]

I can't snark on Caesar; I actually feel sorry for him.  Where are his family and friends? Surely, there must be someone in his life that can talk some sense into him. 

Talk about bad decisions.  The immature teens on "Unexpected" seem to have more sense than these folks. 

[Kangatush]

DJ Doug 4 lyfe.

And I feel zero sympathy for Caesar.  He actually seems to have a little bit of intelligence, despite being so soft spoken, so him believing this is a genuine relationship is basically him seeing the red flags, and powering on by them.