Say What?: "Nationwide Is On My Slide?" & Other Things We Thought We Heard

[ParadoxLost]

 

I can't even lie, I'd campaign like whoa if George Takei was running for President.

 

You want Shatner deported back to Canada that badly?  Because you know that would be his first act as President ;)

[smittykins]

"Sappy moms everywhere are shopping on Zulily.com"

Huh?

*lightbulb*

Oh, savvy moms...

[Snow Apple]

Anyone see that Amope foot care commercial? I'm sure I'm not the only one who hears "I'm OK"

[shapeshifter]

"Sappy moms everywhere are shopping on Zulily.com"

Huh?*lightbulb*

Oh, savvy moms...

I wonder if the announcer read the word "savvy" as "sappy" on purpose (I haven't heard it). I can ask this because I was one of those mothers who sewed my kids' pajamas in the 80s rather than clothe them in the required-by-law flame retardant polyester, so it sounds like they're talking about my tribe, LOL. Edited June 30, 2015 by shapeshifter

[DXD526]

On a commercial the other night heard "...and a complete selection of head lice." Huh?? Oh, headlights, it's for an automotive store. Sounded exactly like he said head lice. I immediately thought of Emily Litella, 'Why would anybody want to buy such a thing?' Yeah, I'm old... 

[Moose135]

Oh, that's different...never mind.

[Sandman87]

Tonight I thought I heard a cat litter commercial claim that their product has "club a seal technology."  Turns out that it's "clump & seal."

[bref]

No matter how many times I hear it, I think the ad for Prism TV is about a product called Prison TV.

[Sandman87]

I bet the Edible Arrangements people get a lot of calls around Mother's Day from people who heard "Oedipal Arrangements."

[shapeshifter]

I bet the Edible Arrangements people get a lot of calls around Mother's Day from people who heard "Oedipal Arrangements."

This made me think that in a struggling economy they really should offer those--until I realized what they would look like.

[Sandman87]

I figured maybe it would be an assassination service that specializes in fathers.

Tonight when I was only half-listening to the TV, I thought I heard the news telling me that a student was arrested for bringing his homemade Glock to school. Well, duh! That's a gun. Turns out that it was a homemade clock.

[ABay]

The kid lives in Texas. If he'd brought a homemade Glock to school, they'd hold a parade in his honor.

[shapeshifter]

I heard on NPR news as I was waking up this morning, "The President wore a dark suit; the Pope wore white," and pictured them as plastic figures atop a wedding cake.

To be fair to my imagination, it is "a frock," right?

[Rick Kitchen]

I'm not Catholic, but isn't it a cassock?

[shapeshifter]

I'm not Catholic, but isn't it a cassock?

That seems to be correct, but the silhouette is still a little like a Victorian white wedding dress.

[Sandman87]

Spike is running an ad for a pay per view MMA event, the Bellator Middleweight Title. Every time it runs, I hear "Fellator." Gives new meaning to "blow by blow" commentary.

[shapeshifter]

When "legendary news man" Bill Curtis intoned what we could expect for MLK Day on the over-the-air channel Decades I had to stop to mentally correct what I thought I heard. Surely not MLK's "psychotic speech" but his "iconic speech."

Edited January 17, 2016 by shapeshifter

[Sandman87]

"I have a dream that someday ...the UFOs will stop beaming mind control lasers at my head!"

[Wax Lion]

With One Day at a Time getting a reboot I finally looked up the lyrics for the theme song since I was pretty sure it didn't actually go "Whomp on you knees, do it please for your blue eyed baby" (The actual lyric is "Get up on your feet, (get on your feet) somewhere there's music playing")

[Sandman87]

Not really paying attention to the TV again, I heard "Sometimes I just don't eat the way I should, so I drink booze to get the nutrition that I'm missing." Hell yeah, sign me up for that diet! Rewinding the DVR (love that automatic one hour memory) revealed that it was an ad for Boost.

 

With One Day at a Time getting a reboot I finally looked up the lyrics for the theme song since I was pretty sure it didn't actually go "Whomp on you knees, do it please for your blue eyed baby" (The actual lyric is "Get up on your feet, (get on your feet) somewhere there's music playing")

Someone in the Mondegreens thread of the Music forum thought it was "Whomp on the beef", which is either something naughty, or what Rocky Balboa did in the meat locker.

[Sandman87]

Tonight someone was watching Murder She Wrote in another room, and I overheard "...and he's got an erection a yard long!"

 

The actual line was "...and he's got a rap sheep a yard long."

[praeceptrix]

Tonight someone was watching Murder She Wrote in another room, and I overheard "...and he's got an erection a yard long!"

 

The actual line was "...and he's got a rap sheep a yard long."

Sheep, eh? Gets kinkier by the minute. Was the episode set in Scotland?

[Sandman87]

Pardon me, "rap sheet." Someone has obviously switched the "t" and "p" keys on my keyboard. Yeah, that's it...

[ABay]

Ah, Scotland, where men are men and sheep are nervous....

[shapeshifter]

Today I heard on NPR that 60% of North Dakota's economy was based on oil and anarchy.

Anyone hear it differently?

ETA: Since nobody replied, I looked up the economy of North Dakota and read that agriculture was key before the oil boom. So I guess they said "agriculture," but I heard "anarchy," unless the reporter read it wrong.

Edited February 13, 2016 by shapeshifter

[meep.meep]

There's a commercial that I've heard several times, I think it's for Baskin Robbins, that appears to be advertising a pubic cake.

 

I can't even

[Aquarius]

There's a commercial that I've heard several times, I think it's for Baskin Robbins, that appears to be advertising a pubic cake.

 

I can't even

It's DQ. And it's ostensibly a "cupid cake." But I swear they're saying "pubic."

[meep.meep]

Enunciation!  It's what separates us from the animals!

 

Thanks

[blueray]

I was watching an interview with a hockey player yesterday and I (and those watching with me) thought he said "... we came out f-cking the other team". Of course then it was clear he actually said "we came out fighting the other team".

Edited February 21, 2016 by blueray

[Wax Lion]

Last night's Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Rebecca made the news in a good way and got some nice attention from her mother. Rebecca hoped that meant her mom would be sending her rugelach, which she explained to her friend was a delicious dessert. It wasn't until the end of that conversation that I figured out she wasn't talking about how amazing arugula was as a dessert.

 

I mean, I love good arugula (so hard to find some that's peppery and not just bitter AF) and for a moment I thought the joke was that West Covina was a part of California where people didn't know what arugula is but it would be challenging to turn that into a dessert.

Edited March 8, 2016 by Wax Lion

[Demented Daisy]

Completely unrelated but whenever I hear arugula, I think:

 

[Sandman87]

More of an example of what I thought I saw: At one point during Dimension W on Saturday there was a fight scene with some Batman-esque sound effect graphics ("Biff!", "Pow!", that sort of thing). One of them was "9 Hit Combo!" but the style of the lettering made it look like "Shit Combo!"

[Snow Apple]

HH Gregg commercial. Every time they say "Gregg's got it!" I hear "Greg Scottish"

[Archery]

The trailer for Gotham.  Kid says, "My name is Bruce Wayne.  You killed my parents."  And my mind always adds, in a fake Spanish accent: "Prepare to die!"

[paulvdb]

I'm not an American and not very familiar with American colleges. So I was watching an episode of Liv and Maddie where Maddie was considering basketball scholarship offers from colleges and I thought she said that one of her options was Yukon. But then they showed the hat and it said UCONN.

[proserpina65]

The trailer for Gotham.  Kid says, "My name is Bruce Wayne.  You killed my parents."  And my mind always adds, in a fake Spanish accent: "Prepare to die!"

I add it out loud.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Completely unrelated but whenever I hear arugula, I think:

 

 

It always makes me think of this:

 

 

[Rick Kitchen]

I'm not an American and not very familiar with American colleges. So I was watching an episode of Liv and Maddie where Maddie was considering basketball scholarship offers from colleges and I thought she said that one of her options was Yukon. But then they showed the hat and it said UCONN.

 

That's why UCONN calls their sports teams the Huskies.  Because, Yukon.

 

And it def. makes sense for a female basketball player to want to go to UCONN.  They by far, dominate women's collegiate basketball.

Edited March 27, 2016 by Rick Kitchen

[shapeshifter]

As the show cut away for a commercial I thought I heard:

"How many hypocrits entered the United States between 1870 and...?"

but I glanced up at the quiz words on the TV and saw:

"How many immigrants entered the United States between 1870 and...?"

I'm guessing the ones that were hypocrits explains folks like Trump.

[paulvdb]

I was watching Empire and Lucious mentioned his original name Dwight Walker, but I thought he said The White Walker (like those zombie creatures on Game of Thrones).

[kiddo82]

Umm....did I just hear Sonic advertising for their new "quaalude shakes"?

No. Just their new "Creamery shakes."

[DittyDotDot]

Mmm....quaalude shakes. I could probably use one of those right now. ;)

Edited April 16, 2016 by DittyDotDot

[BooksRule]

Even though this lyric to the theme song from the TV show 'Reba' goes- 'My roots are planted in the past...' I always hear 'My lips are planted in the past...'  The word has never sounded like 'roots' to me.

[SmithW6079]

Even though this lyric to the theme song from the TV show 'Reba' goes- 'My roots are planted in the past...' I always hear 'My lips are planted in the past...' The word has never sounded like 'roots' to me.

At least you didn't hear, "My lips are planted in an ass..." :-)

[ParadoxLost]

There is a villain on Gotham and every time I hear his name, this happens. 

[Sandman87]

2 hours ago, ParadoxLost said:

There is a villain on Gotham and every time I hear his name, this happens.

Yeah, that was the first thing I thought of when I first heard his name too. Back when I was trying to watch Gotham.

[MargeGunderson]

19 hours ago, ParadoxLost said:

There is a villain on Gotham and every time I hear his name, this happens. 

Now, that would bring me back to the show!

[Sandman87]

On tonight's BBC America news I heard the anchor report on "...wildfires in the American southwest, due in large part to rectal temperatures of over 100 degrees." Time to start deploying tanker planes loaded with Anusol!

I had to turn up the volume significantly and re-watch the segment several times to hear him saying record instead of rectal.

[meep.meep]

Might be both!

Those Brits with their tricky British accents.

Of course the wildfires are a result of the drought, and insect infestations, and people's stupidity as much as the temperatures.

[Sandman87]

So remember kids; make sure your rectum is well watered and insect-free.