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S07.E11: Jeanne's Story


Message added by PrincessPurrsALot

Reminder: Please do not discuss politics via topic of disability/Medicare & "stealing from the public". Only address issues related to people on the show, not everyone in a given group.  Let's veer away from assumptions that head us down that slope. 

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On 3/27/2019 at 8:14 PM, auntjess said:

No, you haven't.  Bonus points if you can wear shoes and fit in a car.

Extra, extra bonus points for wearing clothes and a gold star for underwear.

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So I finally got Philo on my Roku and can watch this again...

Good dog in heaven, this was a complete clusterfuck. Jeanne bothered me in ways that even the other obnoxious ones did. I hate her victim mentality. She wanted to take zero responsibility for anything. Nothing. And dang. that house...I bet Dr. Now's nurses wanted to wear nose plugs around her. I don't normally like making fun of a person in that way, but her hygiene was such a problem that even HE was commenting on it. And she really could've done something about it. I bet she didn't want to, though. Like everything else she wanted someone else to do that for her as well. 

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On 3/14/2019 at 10:43 AM, Azanscrazyhair said:

After all these seasons these people seem to think surgery is a magic pill.  Poof!!! All your food related issues are gone!! Poof!!! You are skinny.    

Yeah, she definitely thought surgery was going to make her magically thin. This is one of those times, however, when I wanted Dr. Now to word it in a different way to her. He kept saying that it wouldn't fix the problem, that she had to do the work, etc. and it was clear his words were going over her head like a lead balloon. I wanted him to stop and say, "Okay. You changed your eating habit for one month and only lost 8 pound. You show that you cannot follow the plan. If I do your surgery tomorrow then what is your plan for losing weight after?"

To which she'd have undoubtedly replied, "The surgery will make me lose weight because I won't be able to eat as much."

To which Dr. Now could've said, "Yes. For maybe one month. When you fail to follow the diet plan, however, and you resume your normal eating habit the stomach will expand and you will gain all your weight back. I am trying to give you the tools now so that once you have surgery the surgery will have a bigger chance to work."

Mom had GBS and like many she thought that her responsibility was finished once she'd had the surgery. She thought that the surgery would shrink her stomach and then, for the remainder of her life, she could eat whatever she wanted and not gain weight because her small stomach would cut her off when it was full. She didn't realize that it didn't work that way. I think a lot of them do. It's another way of having someone else fix their problems. They think that with the surgery they won't have to watch their diet or exercise ever again. 

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6 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

She thought that the surgery would shrink her stomach and then, for the remainder of her life, she could eat whatever she wanted and not gain weight because her small stomach would cut her off when it was full. She didn't realize that it didn't work that way. I think a lot of them do. It's another way of having someone else fix their problems. They think that with the surgery they won't have to watch their diet or exercise ever again. 

To be fair, I think this is a general misconception of how weight loss surgery works, which is why so many think of it as "cheating," that it doesn't take the will power and work of traditional weight loss methods.

For the people who apply for this program, the producers should take a little time to educate them on how the process truly works, so they will understand from the beginning what would be required of them. It seems like they do not do this, which may be for self-serving reasons, to create more drama for their show.

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1 minute ago, ProTourist said:

To be fair, I think this is a general misconception of how weight loss surgery works, which is why so many think of it as "cheating," that it doesn't take the will power and work of traditional weight loss methods.

For the people who apply for this program, the producers should take a little time to educate them on how the process truly works, so they will understand from the beginning what would be required of them. It seems like they do not do this, which may be for self-serving reasons, to create more drama for their show.

Yeah, the doctors never explained it to my mom. I did my own research and had to explain it to her. I mean, it sounds like it should make sense. 

Some of the patients on this show seem to have cognitive issues while others have been flat-out stupid. I think a lot of people need the surgery explained to them as simply as possible. "It only works if you do the work" is true, but also vague. "You still have to follow an eating plan and increase your physical activity because the stomach can still expand even after the surgery" may be more helpful to others who just need it spelled out to them. 

I love Dr. Now, though. He's a better man than me. I don't think I could put up with half the stuff he does. And you KNOW that during filming he probably has cast members calling him and demanding stuff at all hours of the night. Some of these patients have surgeries within a few days of each other and are in the hospital together. Could you imagine having Jeanne down one corridor, Steven Assanti down another, and James parked in a wheelchair by the nurse's station screaming, "My leg"? Yikes. 

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On 3/15/2019 at 9:20 AM, Tabbygirl521 said:

“Who will bring me fo-oo-ood?

and who will wipe my butt?

and who will kiss my ruby lips

when she is gone?

look away! Look away!

look away, over Yandro...”

Mama won't wipe my pretty poopy butt

Mama won't bring me food

but my red rosy lips will taste pizza once again

When I find another fool.

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On 3/22/2019 at 12:58 AM, mlzukowski said:

Could Jeanne blame any more people for her inadequacies and failures in life? At some point, individuals have to take some responsibility for their situation regardless of what traumas they have suffered. Sadly, countless people have undergone unbelievable acts of horror which are so astonishing and sad, but make a contentious decision to either continue to whine, complain and blame others or make changes to create a life worth living.

When Dr. Now asked her how and why she got in that condition, she had her victim abuse story read to fire. It was almost like it was rehearsed because she knew exactly which words to use and how to place the blame. It's one of the few times that I've heard someone talking about abuse and I wasn't automatically overcome with sympathy. She took no responsibility for her weight. 

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So I've watched this episode, like, five times because I keep falling asleep during it. She gets worse with each viewing. The petulance and entitlement are staggering, but Dr. Now seems to have her number at least. 

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I'm watching this episode now. Her mother's comment about lepers being thin so she wouldn't fit in with them either. "You'd be fat and a leper"😂My instincts are telling me Jeanne will not be cooperative. 

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(edited)

Ugh. I'm watching the repeat of Jeanne's episode and I dislike her even more than I did at the first viewing.  Such an ungrateful person.   And why is she always wearing her own clothes while in the hospital??How clean could they possibly be when she has such terrible hygiene habits?  That bugged me the first time I watched her episode.   Tie some gowns together and throw them on/over her.

 I did like her mother.  Poor woman.

Edited by Swiss
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On 3/15/2019 at 12:28 AM, aliya said:

I'm gonna stop with that. How they get people to wait on them hand and foot instead of punching them out, I don't know.

Her mother feels guilty for letting her get so big in the first place. Jeanne has a severe mental issue. Her comments about how no one could understand how losing a father is struck me as laugh out loud content for any comedian wanting content everyone could relate to.  She has to know that every human born has a father.  

Jeanne just refused to even acknowledge the Dr's logic regarding her weight loss when given a 1200 calory meal plan.  She had lost half of her 100 pound goal while in the hospital trying to shake the infection in that growth on the back of her leg.  I was actually expecting her to give credit to the clearing up of the infection for giving her that 50 pound loss, and since there was no more infection to clear up, of course the weight came back. 

I really have to wonder about Jeanne's empathy.  Who knows how the edits went down for that part of the story, but it sure seemed like her mother got the news of her husband's passing between the lines of the one sided call.  Jeanne showed her mother zero sympathy.  Left her mother sobbing in her bed, sitting upright.  It looked to me like her mother was putting herself in a physical position for Jeanne to come over and at least attempt some physical attention, but no, Jeanne was more upset her getting home and being fed on time. Dr Now had an odd interaction when he came in the room to express his sympathy to her mother, yet not one word expressed to Jeanne, and he ignored her as he left the room. 

I was expecting to see an announcement at the end of the show saying that Jeanne had died after her weight broke 700 pounds 6 weeks after her father's passing.  Who knows, maybe it hasn't been 6 weeks yet

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17 hours ago, DougScott said:

Jeanne showed her mother zero sympathy.  Left her mother sobbing in her bed, sitting upright.  It looked to me like her mother was putting herself in a physical position for Jeanne to come over and at least attempt some physical attention, but no, Jeanne was more upset her getting home and being fed on time.

That really bugged me.  How unfeeling not to go over and hug her mother as I would have done in the same situation.

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(edited)
On 4/8/2019 at 7:45 PM, DougScott said:

Dr Now had an odd interaction when he came in the room to express his sympathy to her mother, yet not one word expressed to Jeanne, and he ignored her as he left the room. 

Whew - I'm actually 'watching' this episode at work. I'll look for Dr Now's reaction because I never noticed it before.  As much as I dislike Jeanne, some of us aren't huggers. I lost my husband and I don't know what crying on somebody's shoulder would have gotten me, so...  That said, she certainly has shown her selfishness in other parts of the show.

eta - I had to watch the end at home. You are absolutely right. And, good lord, if Jeanne doesn't stop shaking her leg. It's so annoying.

Edited by aliya
watched rest of show
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Okay Pounder Pals, I've been way behind on episodes and began watching this one while reading this and the Live Chat thread and I'm out. I can't watch this. Gore freaks me out and this is worse than gore! It's filth and gore and dogs and wretched, vile, disgusting people. So I am moving on to the next one on my DVR. 

I wish I could wash all of your eyeballs of the hell you have seen...

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OK, Janine has become my new James K and I watch it frequently (tho I turn off once they learn about the dad).  Here's a question for the medical professionals here:

What was that lump on her leg? I don't think Dr Now describes it as anything other than a "mass on your leg" and infected and dirty.  It didn't look like other lymphedema we've seen, but maybe that doesn't mean anything. Also, why wouldn't someone go to the doctor with that?  You'd think that would be so painful that you'd try to deal with it early on. If she's on disability, she has some kin of insurance (medicaid?). I can't imagine being forced to sit around in a chair due to weight, and sitting on that painful lump all day. jeez.  

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The other mother she [Sean's mom] reminds me of is Jeanne's mother, but in a slightly different way.  I do think Jeanne's mom was a big enabler, but I wonder how much influence Jeanne's dad had on the enabling since Jeanne forgave him and invited him back.  If he wanted to stay, I am sure he had to give in to Jeanne's food demands and probably influenced the mother to do the same.  I do believe if dad had refused Jeanne her oranges, she would have un-forgiven him and banished him from the house.  Jeanne's mom   reminds me of Sean's mother as she is overweight and in bad health.   If Jeanne gains only a pound a week, in 5-6 years she will be close to 900 pounds, and her mom will be unable to care for her.   They both need to turn their lives around asap. 

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9 hours ago, sagittarius sue said:

Ha!  I'm not a fan of Les Miz either.

I thought I was the only one. I have tried 3 times to watch Les Miz and just cannot. 

Sharknado, on the other hand, no problem. 😄

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14 hours ago, aliya said:

I thought I was the only one. I have tried 3 times to watch Les Miz and just cannot. 

Sharknado, on the other hand, no problem. 😄

I watched one episode of the PBS Les Miz, and decided it wasn't for me.  It reminded me of what I dislike about Charles Dickens too, the sentimentality, the evil evil villains and the frail goody-goody characters.  I do like Great Expectations (Miss Havisham!) and Tale of Two Cities, but those are rather uncharacteristic Dickens.

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Found this posting made earlier this week by a neighbor of Barbara and Jeanne:

Quote

Barbara and Jeanne live down the road from me and one Thursday evening about 8:30pm Barbara texted me asking me to go by her house to check on her husband who hadn't answered his phone for several days while Barbara and Jeanne were in Houston. I got the address and went, even as I knocked on the door he had already passed away. You will never know how disturbing that was to me when I learned that he was on the other side of the door in body only with ALL THOSE DOGS, it gave me the heebie-jeebies for months !! Just about a month ago (May 2019) I saw Barbara at Brookshires in Gilmer, Texas, she looked AMAZING!!! She said she followed Dr Now’s 1200 calorie diet that he had ordered for Jeanne, the daughter, and Barbara had been totally successful. I hugged her neck and spoke to her but I never mentioned that night I had gone over there or asked how her daughter was doing. I just couldn't.

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7 minutes ago, ProTourist said:

Found this posting made earlier this week by a neighbor of Barbara and Jeanne:

Well, good for Barbara.    I guess she would have mentioned it if Jeanne was making good progress, too.       ( I really want to get them a thesaurus as the expression "making good progress" is making good progress getting on my nerves.)

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Of all the poundticipants, Jeanne struck me as the most....useless, for lack of a better word. The other subjects of the show, messed up as they were, at least had a career (whether in the present or past) or a family or a significant other or...something. Jeanne was in her late 30s and had never had a career (or anything more than an odd job), never had a relationship, had no friends she ever mentioned, and still lived at home with her folks who had to wait on her hand and foot. Her entire life had been one huge nothingburger.

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 I must say, I had forgotten about this one and watched it again recently with the hubs. We both rolled our eyes so far back, we saw jesus, constantly. So constantly that the guy almost started to charge us per view of heaven. He's never watched with me and is now obsessed with this and Fat Doctor online. 

  Anywho. The only ones I felt bed for at the end were those dogs, and her dad. The poor man died alone in that filth with those poor dogs possibly whining outside the (maybe) closed door. I was a housekeeper for residential properties, we would not have gone past the front door if they'd booked a cleaning. Even though I knew how it played out, I still found myself hoping he had just run out of minutes or something. I did appreciate Dr. Now coming and helping her and her mom get home safely, though. Shows he does have a heart and cares about his patients.

 Side thought, why is people staring always "because I'm fat"? It could never be because they stopped at a gas station or grocery store and there's a random film crew filming someone, huh? I'd stare (well, shoot daggers) at anyone of any size if I pulled up to the pump and they're sitting there smoking. Cut a bitch Thursday be damned. I understand it's a habit/addiction, but mom could have pulled into a park space away from the pumps after filling up or she could've waited and had mom pull off to the side before they left. But nooo.

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I just watched this on Hulu and this is definitely one of the biggest fails I've seen. I knew month 5 was not going to go well when she had that giant taco bowl with (no-carb?) sour cream as an example of her following the diet. If Barbara is able to follow the 1200 calorie diet, then her portioning isn't the problem. Jeanne wants to eat and she wants to prove that she's special. The amount of times she wanted to prove Dr. Now wrong and shove it in his face was hilarious. Dr. Now wants patients to succeed, but he's not going to do weight loss surgery on someone who can't deal with cravings  and will re-inflate their stomach within a few months.

I think both of them need some therapy to untangle their issues.

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On 3/14/2019 at 10:17 AM, libgirl2 said:

Very well said..... 

How much of this program is scripted? Like Steven Assanti fallen off the golf cart with the ambulance waiting in the background on him to fall. Huh?

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14 hours ago, Jajenja said:

How much of this program is scripted? Like Steven Assanti fallen off the golf cart with the ambulance waiting in the background on him to fall. Huh?

I don't know how much is scripted, but I think Steven falling off the golf cart was 100% his own doing so he could go to the hospital and get more pain killers.

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21 hours ago, 88Keys said:

I don't know how much is scripted, but I think Steven falling off the golf cart was 100% his own doing so he could go to the hospital and get more pain killers.

I agree.  Unless they had a stunt double (or two, hooked together for size) for him, they would be unlikely to script him falling off the back of a golf cart.  Too much liability if he had gotten hurt, which would have been a likely outcome at his size and with his lack of ability to control how he would have fallen.

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(edited)

I watched this again tonight, needing something to snark at, and the recent new ones I couldn't bother to sit through.
I wondered if at some point, Jeanne lost enough to get into the bathroom?
And again I wondered at the filth, and that Jeanne couldn't bother to pick up something off the floor.
Looking at the older posts, was glad to see that her mother was doing well, at least at one point.
Hope she keeps well.

Edited by auntjess
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I rewatched Jeanne's episode recently. When I watched the episode the first time I didn't like her, but on this watch I felt sorry for her. I wouldn't wish this kind of existence on anyone.

Jeanne.jpg

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(edited)

I didn't feel sorry for Jean.   She could have picked up after herself, and her dogs.   I think the issue was Jean invited her father back, apparently without telling her mother.   Then the three people living on the property were locked in a sad situation, where the father's mental issues, and Jean's lack of ambition resulted in that trailer ending up too disgusting for anyone to live in.      Since the show, and after the mother's surgery by Dr. Now, for her abdominal issues, the mother seems to be doing very well.     As far as I'm concerned, the only thing to do about that awful trailer is take out the few things that are still decent (clothing that fits, and maybe some kitchen stuff, then haul the old trailer away, and replace it with two single wides, one for Mom, and one for Jean. However, I don't see the mother getting the gumption to stand up to Jean, and live her own life.   

However, I understand Jean, and her mother are part of the TLC lawsuit, so my sympathy for either one of them is gone.   Like some of the others, they are suing for unpaid medical expenses.    However, I'm sure TLC and the production company have a very detailed contract that the poundticipants, and family members sign, so my guess is they are not getting a penny.   Except maybe a bill from a lawyer for their costs.  

Edited by CrazyInAlabama
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21 minutes ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

I didn't feel sorry for Jean.   She could have picked up after herself, and her dogs.  

I'm with you in not feeling sorry for her.  It's not as though she was a disabled woman living with her disabled mother and someone from the show "Hoarders" decided one day to dump all of someone else's junk into Jeanne's house.  

It got that way gradually.  If she'd gotten up off her ass and kept things tidy before she made herself immobile , she would not be in the situation she's in.  First off, the energy spent in getting up and moving might have kept her from getting to the weight level she did.  And if things ARE tidy, it doesn't take nearly as much effort to KEEP it tidy.  But a crew of healthy people would get worn out from trying to clean up this mess.

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2 hours ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

I didn't feel sorry for Jean.   She could have picked up after herself, and her dogs.   I think the issue was Jean invited her father back, apparently without telling her mother.   Then the three people living on the property were locked in a sad situation, where the father's mental issues, and Jean's lack of ambition resulted in that trailer ending up too disgusting for anyone to live in.      Since the show, and after the mother's surgery by Dr. Now, for her abdominal issues, the mother seems to be doing very well.     As far as I'm concerned, the only thing to do about that awful trailer is take out the few things that are still decent (clothing that fits, and maybe some kitchen stuff, then haul the old trailer away, and replace it with two single wides, one for Mom, and one for Jean. However, I don't see the mother getting the gumption to stand up to Jean, and live her own life.   

However, I understand Jean, and her mother are part of the TLC lawsuit, so my sympathy for either one of them is gone. 

I call bullshit on all of these lawsuits especially Jeanne's. What legitimate complaints could she have against Dr. Now/TLC? That the scales were all sabotaged? That her trailer was really neat as a pin and the TLC producers messed it up for dramatic effect? Or perhaps she was 100% compliant and Dr. Now was just being mean? What?

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Not to mention Dr. Now helped her mom. Transported them home. What more could he do??!!! Ungrateful, entitled, evil people.

All of them need to have a conversation with themselves about the quality of life before and after. And if they really followed the program or just expected a miracle. 

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On 3/14/2019 at 10:07 AM, Hana Chan said:

When Jeanne's father passed, she seemed to express absolutely zero emotion. I felt so horrible for her mother, who not only just lost her husband (that she sacrificed herself to care for) but is now stuck with having to care for her lump of a daughter while trying to physically heal herself. 

I came to post that the mother actually wasn't squeezing out any tears despite all the wailing and carrying on she was doing. Dr. Now walked in and the mother did that weird stare-y crying thing, eyes wide, sobbing at him. But no tears came out. We get exactly one tear, when she says in the medic van that she will have to sleep on the mattress her commonlaw husband died on. My theory is that the apathy that seeped through absolutely everything else in their lives extended to interpersonal relationships, too. I don't think the mother was as destroyed as she made out to be. She was like Maja with the sobbing-but-no-tears schtick.

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I remember at the beginning of the episode, Jean said they hadn't seen her father for years.   Then she heard a sermon or something that convinced her she should contact him, and ask him to come back.    I believe his obituary (someone posted it either on here, or one of the gossip sites) said he actually had a bunch of other children.     I suspect that once Jeanne asked her father back, the mother was upset, but too chicken to tell him to leave.    I suspect that small travel trailer parked outside of the double wide  is where he lived most of the time, except when he was house sitting for the dogs when Jeanne and her mother left.   

I think death is the only way that the father would leave his cushy life, and that's what happened.    

Edited by CrazyInAlabama
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On 3/15/2019 at 5:56 AM, Hana Chan said:

My concern is for her mother, who clearly is on her last legs.

Her mother was shown complacently eating pizza. Pizza is not what you should eat if you have the colon problems she has had. No doubt her own doctors told her what foods to avoid and what foods to eat to not stress out her colon anymore, but she cheerfully threw that advice out the window on top of someone else's lit cigarette and watched it burn in the rear-view mirror. Just like Jeanne, she's an adult who chose to ignore advice that would have helped her better her health. So she gets no sympathy from me, either. Dr. Now mentioned that bad hygiene played an enormous role in both of their health problems. Hygiene is something they actually have control over, but neither of them seems to care. About anything. If they don't care about themselves, why should anyone else care? It becomes a black hole into which resources disappear but don't do any good.

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On 3/15/2019 at 9:51 AM, leh2955 said:

I also wondered why he didn't console the daughter. I ALSO WONDERED why the mother was crying and without a single tear. Anyone notice that? Sometimes I wonder how much is scripted and how much is not.

Oh my gosh, yes!! I posted the same thing before I read your comment! It was bizarre-o world, that's for sure.

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On 3/16/2019 at 4:40 AM, Desert Rat said:

He took her on because he is such a decent person.  He probably did it all for very little money. Then, when her husband dies, Dr. Now arranged medical transport for a four hour drive. Insurance is not going to pay for that. I bet Dr. Now did himself. 

I agree that it was good of him to examine her and whatnot, but we really have zero evidence that he footed the bill for any of this.

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4 hours ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

I remember at the beginning of the episode, Jean said they hadn't seen her father for years.   Then she heard a sermon or something that convince her she should contact him, and ask him to come back.    I believe his obituary (someone posted it either on here, or one of the gossip sites) said he actually had a bunch of other children.     I suspect that once Jeanne asked her father back, the mother was upset, but too chicken to tell him to leave.    I suspect that small travel trailer parked outside of the double wide  is where he lived most of the time, except when he was house sitting for the dogs when Jeanne and her mother left.   

I think death is the only way that the father would leave his cushy life, and that's what happened.    

That is a really good theory and makes a lot of sense. It also dispels the whole "Romeo and Juliet for 40 years" thing and makes Barbara's tearless wailing more understandable.

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Something is really off about Barbara and her mother. Abusers almost never change. I'd wager good money that Barbara was abused by her as a child, too. So why would she leave her own child with someone she knew to be abusive? She also jumped wholeheartedly into the codependent lying thing during the first appointment with Dr. Now.

The more I ponder Barbara and Jeanne, the more abhorrent I find the two of them. The nonchalance about literal shit-encrusted wounds, the Eureka! moment that accompanied the knowledge that you need to wipe your ass every time you shit, the animal hoarding and neglect... nasty, nasty people, both of them. Jeanne did not become the way she is in a vacuum. Barbara is not an innocent party here.

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From what I've read, it's not uncommon for people who were abused as children to still associate with the abusers, and trust them with their children.     I don't think the grandmother abused Jeanne, or Barbara, I think she was strict.     What poundticipants consider abuse in some cases are people who try to restrict them from over eating.   

However, many have been physically, or sexually abused, and that's totally different from what I was talking about.   

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It's absolutely normal for people who were abused to trust their own children with their abusers. I wasn't saying it wasn't normal. I was saying that it was cowardly and pathetic and reprehensible for Barbara to trust her own child with an abusive parent. My own mother did this; she left me alone with people she KNEW damn well were abusive, because they'd abused her. Surprise, surprise, I got sexually abused, too. I blame her as much as I do the perpetrator because she knowingly left me alone with him. Her behaviour is typical but no less pathetic and horrifying for all that.

We can't know if Jeanne was exaggerating or making stuff up. Clearly something happened to her; she displayed a lot of PTSD-type behaviours. It's easy to dismiss what she claims because she's so unlikeable. I loathed her and Joyce, but I believe that Joyce was abused by her stepbrother. What business did he have sitting on her bed and rubbing her back? Absolutely NOT normal and a giant, flashing red flag. It's very common for sexual abuse survivors to not recall all the details of their abuse. Going back to Jeanne - if Grandma was really that bad, she didn't suddenly pick those behaviours up when Jeanne arrived. Abuse of that calibre is something that has been going on for a long time. Jeanne's mother also had PTSD-type behaviours. Multi-generational abuse fits like a glove into the squalor and apathy we saw during Jeanne's episode.

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I had forgotten about Jeanne and her mother lying to Dr. Now about their eating habits. I never saw anyone in this gross family eat a freakin' orange, unless orange is code for Quarter Pounder with Cheese.

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1 minute ago, mmecorday said:

I had forgotten about Jeanne and her mother lying to Dr. Now about their eating habits. I never saw anyone in this gross family eat a freakin' orange, unless orange is code for Quarter Pounder with Cheese.

Orange is the new bacon.

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Message added by PrincessPurrsALot

Reminder: Please do not discuss politics via topic of disability/Medicare & "stealing from the public". Only address issues related to people on the show, not everyone in a given group.  Let's veer away from assumptions that head us down that slope. 

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