S09.E04: Auditions, Week 4

[Guest]

More Talent (No Official Description)

 

[Mumbles]

A meh show. I thought the kid comedian was so gross - jokes about his father's penis and his mother performing oral sex? ICK.

[SmallTownMom]

Have to agree.  The 12-year-old stand up comedian was not funny at all.  Not to mention his delivery was awful. If I were his mom, I'd be embarrassed.

 

The bikini-clad opera singer was so full of herself.  As soon as she took off her dress, I thought they should buzz her.  Terrible gimmick, and it's been done before.  Several years ago, American Idol had "bikini girl."

 

Sorry, but I don't go to Vegas to see opera or kid acts.

 

Loved the young man who did the card trick.  He was nervous, but kept it moving.  What a lot to remember!

[Taeolas]

The Card trick story teller was about the only highlight. Pretty smooth trick overall, with a bit of nervousness but no obvious mistakes I noticed. 

 

Everything else was pretty meh. Too many kids, too many singers. Though I did smirk a bit at the Pecs and Packs display for Mel and Heidi.

 

The Bikini singer was average in all respects IMO. Probably worthy to go onward, but not really live show material.

 

I think a lot of acts are realizing they need to be memorable, so we're seeing more 'Surprises' this time.

 

Looks like they said Yes to a Rubik's Cube kid. That will be an easy Vegas cut. I hope most of the rest of the kids get cut but I won't hold my breath over it. 

[helenamonster]

Enough with the singers. ENOUGH. Jesus Christ, I felt like this episode was just chock full of them.

 

The only one I was mildly interested in was the blonde opera singer, and that's just because she took her goddamn clothes off. Whoever predicted we'd see a few people after the Baby Man from last week do something odd so they would stand out when the judges were going through the acts during Vegas Week was totally right. She was good, and I'm thankful she did something interesting to distract me from the song. Thanks to the most recent season of Downton Abbey, I can't listen to that song without involuntarily cringing and being overcome with the desire to crawl into a corner.

 

That 12-year-old comedian was so gross, and his delivery was awful on top of it. How is he any different from other 12-year-old boys? Just because his sex jokes are slightly more thought out than theirs? Next.

 

Another awesome hand balancer, and I thought the aerielist was beautiful. The impressionist was also pretty good, I thought. When she started doing Rosie O'Donnell, my jaw dropped.

 

But the stand out, for the second week in a row, was the magician. Wow. If one thing had gone wrong it would have totally threw off his whole act. But he got through the whole thing and it was spectacular.

 

I'm looking forward to the special show on Sunday. It seems they're cramming all the more exciting, danger-type acts into one episode, so it should at least be interesting.

[Taeolas]

I forgot about the handbalancer and the Aerialist. Both were actually quite good, esp the balancer, and worth going forward. Balancing on one finger... and then hand swapping.... Just wow! 

 

The impressionist I was a bit meh on, but I think it's because I'm out of touch with Celebrities so most of the impressions missed me. 

[peggy06]

What were the parents of that 12 year old kid thinking? I was cringing at his material. And then, to have the judges encourage him.

 

The card trick was great, really enjoyable and a different take on that theme. But I question whether close magic works as part of a live stage show. It's great on TV, though.

 

Opera singer was just average as a singer, and became a novelty act when she took off the dress. Not impressed.

 

It seemed like they whizzed through the montages, we barely got to see some of those acts. I am so over the token bad act that they put up for laughs. Show us the stuff you rave over.

 

I notice they always end the hour with a tug on the heartstrings. It's become so predictable. That said, the soldier singer seemed sweet and the aerialist was lovely to watch.

 

I think every act except the doctor got 4 yeses.

[kechara]

The Colombian salsa dancers...I;m sure I have seen the littlest kids before somewhere...can't remember where though.

I was prepared to tune out the hand balancer, but then he did some different and cool stuff.

Edited June 18, 2014 by kechara

[tominboston]

That was one of the sorrier collections of acts that this show has put together and if I wasn't just half-watching while reading a book I would have switched channels. Only a couple last night that I'd want to see again. And what's the deal with basically everybody getting through?

 

The 12-year-old comedian was awful, as others have written. Those jokes might have gotten me to snicker when I was 12, but he was gross and awkward rather than funny. I'm sure that even Howard Stern in his raunchy radio persona wouldn't bring the kid back. Samoan Soldier was a fantastic singer and seems like a nice guy, but the over-the-top orchestral fanfare was a little much. I did like the card trick guy... basic card-switching as far as the magic itself, but what made him fun was the clever story. And Bikini Opera Singer was funny too, but a one-trick act.

[grooveshinney]

I thought the funniest thing about the 12 year old comedian was his father saying the kid's brothers think he's an idiot. 

[A Boston Gal]

I was wondering why I felll asleep about 45 minutes in...then upon rewatching online today, I see why.  Eh. Even the salsa dancers were not as fabu as everyone thought.

[Brattinella]

Can anyone tell me what was the appeal of the last perfomer?  Male singer, Rihanna song I think.  He was SO meh!  And the crowd was having swooning fits over him.  Really, can anyone explain this, please?

 

I have to agree about the 12-yr old comedian, yuck.  How is his dad ok with that?

 

The one girl who sounded like Patsy Cline was Fabulous, however! Wowie!

[helenamonster]

Can anyone tell me what was the appeal of the last perfomer?  Male singer, Rihanna song I think.  He was SO meh!  And the crowd was having swooning fits over him.  Really, can anyone explain this, please?

 

I agree, I didn't like his voice at all. I guess he was technically good (I don't know a thing about singing) but his actual voice wasn't pleasant to listen to, at least not for me. He also had zip stage presence.

 

I also liked the tiny lady that juggled the table with her feet. I want her to make it to the live rounds just so I can see how she juggles her kids.

Edited June 18, 2014 by helenamonster

[camom]

When I was 12, I wouldn't have gotten some of the jokes that "comedian" was telling.  The jokes could have been funny -- told by an adult, to an adult audience, with good delivery.  He was just bad.

[bluepiano]

The over-the-top praise (and standing ovations) for every act this season is making me crazy. Every act that goes through (with maybe a couple of exceptions) has gotten 4 yeses. There's no disagreement between the judges, which is one of the things that made this show entertaining. Even Howard Stern, who used to call himself "the voice of reason" because he was often the only one who didn't vote for the cute kid acts or some of the one-trick ponies, is now drinking the Kool-Aid. Has he decided they're paying him all those millions just to be a nice guy?

 

I know it has to do with the editing, but the only acts we're not seeing put through are the Gong Show type joke acts. In previous seasons we saw some pretty good acts that didn't get put through because it didn't seem like they had more up their sleeve. The guy with the trained pig? Really? I had the definite feeling we saw everything the pig could do.

 

I liked the 4 guys who did the old, street corner type soul singing, and the card trick with the story about the judges was amusing. Otherwise, too many nothing-special singers, and even though I admire the strength and dedication of the hand balancers, I feel like I've seen it all before. (The KriStef Brothers last year added a dimension of humor and entertainment that I'm missing).

 

And I was enjoying the Colombian salsa dancers more BEFORE all the little kids came out. I would be happy to never see another cute kid singer or dancer. How can you judge them by the same criteria? They should be in a separate category. Or better yet on a separate show.

 

12 year old comic. Like others have said, YUCK. Can not believe he got 4 yeses. Wasn't Heidi the one last year who hated gross, juvenile humor? I guess when it's coming from a 12 year old that makes it okay.

Edited June 18, 2014 by bluepiano

[A Boston Gal]

OMG, bluepiano, the Kristeph brothers! I had forgotten all about them, but this episode made me long for their special kind of humor. And I wasn't even that big a fan of theirs. ;)

[Rapunzel]

I was wondering why I felll asleep about 45 minutes in...then upon rewatching online today, I see why.  Eh. Even the salsa dancers were not as fabu as everyone thought.

I'm not an expert on Columbian Salsa Dancing, but I didn't think they were that good either. They were very fast but to me it just looked frantic and sloppy with no real distinct steps or footwork. The leader of the group even said that many people think that their salsa is "not good." I hated that they brought out the kids - this was an absolute ploy and I'm glad Howard at least made reference to it when he said that he really wasn't that interested until the kids came out and then congratulated them for knowing their audience. He basically said it was only because of the kids that they were getting a 'yes' from him. I keep hoping they will set an age limit for this show and let the kids showcase whatever "talent" they have, other than just trying to add a cuteness factor or being props, somewhere else.

 

Agree with the fact that there were way too many singers last night and none were anything special except for the blonde Patsy Cline-like singer. When the R&B group of techies were singing I was distracted by the stocky guy (the main singer) and his cropped cargo pants. Those just looked really ridiculous on him and were extremely unflattering. Also couldn't get past how over-bronzed the bikini opera singer was. She looked so orange on my screen.

Edited June 19, 2014 by Rapunzel

[LoneHaranguer]

 

And I was enjoying the Colombian salsa dancers more BEFORE all the little kids came out.

How is a dance where the women dress and move like that appropriate for a six year old girl to be joining in?

 

They should have montaged the first singer. I kept waiting for her to shift gears or do something to stand out, but she never did; if she was on The Voice, nobody would have turned their chair.

 

Seeing the opera teacher doing her thing in no way made for a viable act on this show, but I liked the implied message; I have no doubt she can quickly teach almost anyone how to pass for an opera singer to the audience and judges on this show, considering what has garnered applause and praise in the past.

[car54]

Too darn many heartwarming performers way too early.  I watch this show for the freaks and geeks in the early part.

They've gotten soft.

[ketchuplover]

I thought the soldier was horrible

[bluepiano]

Way too much time spent on a mediocre singer because he's in the army and cute. This show really likes working the military angle. At least we haven't seen anything this year like the military wives chorus. Yet.

Edited June 19, 2014 by bluepiano

[Kromm]

Enough with the singers. ENOUGH. Jesus Christ, I felt like this episode was just chock full of them.

And they all seemed to suck, even though people went "wow".  The group of 4 was almost as bad as the soldier.

 

These acts must sound totally different at these venues.  If not, I'm SO puzzled at the praise.

 

Opera Bikini Girl had the best voice of the singers by far, but Opera is ALWAYS overplayed on this show, and of course there's her gimmick on top of that.  How far does she think she can really go after that?  It only works once, and then ever after you're tarred by it.

Edited June 19, 2014 by Kromm

[Meushell]

I found "Remember, Mommy and Daddy will be laughing at you" to be funnier than anything the kid said.

Also, guys making "woman hate sex" jokes is creepy. A 12 year old making the joke about his own mom is just sick. Is it any wonder the mother suddenly disappeared? Why are the judges encouraging this?

Also, did I miss something with the soldier? People were standing up for him before he started singing. I know this show loves the military, but I don't recall the audiance going that crazy over them before.

Can someone please slap Howard for calling one of the groups "God-like?"

I miss them showing more bad performers. Otherwise, it feels like the judges say yes to anything.

[DrLar]

Everything on this show seemed or is staged, they already know who's coming and what questions will they ask and maybe they have the "yeses" already voted..

 

They know which contestants have sob stories to tell, why just not let them perform, vote and next contestant comes? 

 

The usual people with some sickness, in the military or a kid will surely get more time while we  missed some cool acts they only shown a few seconds.

[helenamonster]

Everything on this show seemed or is staged, they already know who's coming and what questions will they ask and maybe they have the "yeses" already voted..

 

They know which contestants have sob stories to tell, why just not let them perform, vote and next contestant comes? 

 

The usual people with some sickness, in the military or a kid will surely get more time while we  missed some cool acts they only shown a few seconds.

 

I've noticed that too. Like, we hear their story in the little confessional thing, and then when they go out onstage, the judges ask questions that seem to purposefully lead to the contestant relaying the exact same story. And if that doesn't happen, sometimes the contestants will find a way to work their sob story in there. Like last week, with the guy and his dad. One of the judges said something about his fan club being here, because there were a bunch of people in a balcony with signs, presumably his family and some close friends. And the guy immediately launched into his issues with his dad. Sooooo contrived and such a waste of time.

 

I assume the producers tell the judges what questions to ask for certain acts. It's just too convenient most of the time that their questions lead to the sob story.

[cotterpin]

The kid was awkward and creepy. I turned to Mr Cotter and said, it's like he picked up an old "truly tasteless jokes" book and told a couple jokes he didn't quite get.

 

Military dude looked uncomfortable using the military angle. I did like him though.

 

Liked the impressionist.

 

I compare every hand balancing act to the Kristeff brothers. But I quite liked the guy.

 

Aerialist was ok, but I think the other one we saw with the animation was 10x better. Another sob story put forth by the producers. I'm really getting tired of the "heart wrenching" back stories. Really, I don't care about your back story unless it's truly relevant (like if you're a handbalancer who lost a hand or something)

 

Dancing Colombian salsa kids and grown ups. Not impressed to be honest. Too fast, it was dizzying. Costumes were ok on the grown ups, ok on the littlest kid, and made me uncomfortable on all the teens/tweens. The kids and adults from the Miami studio from the past 2-3 seasons have been better.

 

Where's Big Barry when you need him?

[Kromm]

Everything on this show seemed or is staged, they already know who's coming and what questions will they ask and maybe they have the "yeses" already voted..

 

They know which contestants have sob stories to tell, why just not let them perform, vote and next contestant comes? 

 

The usual people with some sickness, in the military or a kid will surely get more time while we  missed some cool acts they only shown a few seconds.

I believe they have basic fact sheets on each act.  They haven't seen them, but know the names and basic background already, and I think may have producer suggestions on the sheet (on what questions to ask).

[ratgirlagogo]

 

Too many kids, too many singers.

I felt like this episode was never going to end.  I only liked the card trick guy and the lady that juggled the table with her feet.  I would rather have seen that lady's family juggling act than most of the rest of this episode.

[A Boston Gal]

 

The kids and adults from the Miami studio from the past 2-3 seasons have been better.

 

I heartily second that observation, cotterpin!

Edited June 20, 2014 by A Boston Gal

[DrLar]

So are the Salsa dancers the same people we had from the last few seasons? they just rename the group, change a few people, etc..

[Lonesome Rhodes]

What happened to the awesome pacing that started the season?  Ugh.

 

My daughter-in-law is Colombian and I have known several others from years and years before.  The cultural pecking order that we heard about tonight is a very, very, real thing to Colombians.  It's the cause of bitterness.  They have distinctive dances which have typically been disregarded by other latin countries/cultures.  Colombian dance is virtually unknown to Americans.  This act did an excellent job.  I do agree, however, that the addition of the younger ones was not necessary.  They would have been wise to save that for the next round.  I'll be shocked if they get past the next cuts.

 

The card magician was especially clever.  He should play the Magic Castle if he does not already.

 

I want to see more of the wire balancer.  The 12 y.o. fool was not appropriate for this show.  The worst of Howie and Howard came out as he vomited his material for all to (up)chuckle.

[Kromm]

What happened to the awesome pacing that started the season?  Ugh.

I think the editing quality was still okay.  It was just that it seemed to drag more because far more of the acts were lame.

[A Boston Gal]

DrLar, the salsa dancers aren't the same Miami group we've seen over the past couple of seasons. I was actually agreeing with Cotterpin that he Miami group (in its various incarnations) was much better, to my untrained eye, than this group.

[backformore]

WAIT!  A 12 year old doing his version of the SNL "Bar Mitzvah kid" skit gets ON THE SHOW?    with a joke about his mom "not liking sword swallowing?  

WTF????????????????????

[barbedwire]

Backformore - I pretty much felt the same way.  Those parents are stupid.  That poor boy might start getting teased at school and it highlights my problem with this show:  he is no real competition.  He has no timing!  Cut him loose now.