19 Things I Hate About You: How the Duggars Infuriate

[3girlsforus]

The way those boys sit around like lazy slobs while their sisters slave away in front of them outrages me. In the episode where Ben is going on a trip with the Duggars  (I don't remember where...), 4 or 5 Duggar boys are just sitting on stools playing cards or something, while the older sisters are lugging enormous suitcases and clothes racks out to the rv. The sisters were saying they spent a week packing up all this crap, and now have to lug it out by themselves. And the stupid Duggar boys are just staring at them, chuckling about how much work they are doing. And THEN, to top it all off, they make comments about how the only reason Ben is helping the girls is because he's trying to impress Jessa. Because you would never deign to help a mere woman lift something (a box full of your own clothes, no less) unless you still needed to convince her to have your offspring, right? And because a human being doing basic helpful things for their overworked family members is something we should all be "impressed" by, right? *rant rant*

 

 

What makes it even worse is that the entire rest of their "philosophy" is based on the idea that a woman is the lessor gender. Women can't live on their own. They can't pursue higher education. The only jobs they can do revolve around birthing and children. But apparently they are a strong enough gender to do absolutely everything themselves.

[Joe Jitsu913]

That episode outraged me too. I think they were going to Erin Bates' wedding. Like you said, the girls & Ben were carting out the guys clothes, that the girls had packed. Unreal! What happened to their Servant's hearts that Boob is always talking about

Having a servant's heart only applies to the J'Slaves and it's only applies when someone is waiting on Jim Bob and/or Michelle. Not the other way around.

When has Jim Bob ever gotten off his fat ass and helped someone on the show? Anyone... Bueller?

Edited December 2, 2014 by Joe Jitsu913

[cmr2014]

Why don't they have family dinners? If they had big family meals with JB carving the roast beast, and the kids passing big bowls down the long table, you know TLC would film it. 

 

Of course the idea that the family gathers together around the dinner table in the evening to share the events of the day presupposes that they have been apart during the day. I suppose when the whole gang is just wandering around the TTH all day, there really isn't much to share at dinner-time.

[jcbrown]

 

What happened to their Servant's hearts that Boob is always talking about?

That applies only to wimmenfolk serving their brothers/fathers/husbands. Men serve their lord (which entails a shockingly small amount of actual work, per example on this show), wimmenfolk serve the men.

[SpaghettiTuesdays]

Why do all the Duggars (especially JD and Josh) wear college sports stuff (tees, hats, etc) constantly? They've never gone to college. This seems sad to me, like they want to go but know JB would never let them.

[Darknight]

White the Duggar kids don't eat healthy, at least they seem to eat enough. The 8 by Kate don't eat enough. She posts pictures of their lunches she packs, and it isn't enough. She controls portions size at home, and makes crappy food. Her cookbook of a year or 2 ago was a big fail, despite having a pro take pictures of the slop. It wasn't reviewed well; the reviewers didn't like the food made by actually following the recipes. So take your pick 1) plenty of crap or 2) tiny portions of bad tasting stuff that are not at all filling.

I don't think the Duggar kids eat enough. Why do you think Josh is getting bigger. All those people in that house and food must be deprive. I'm not saying they don't eat but they might not get enough to eat. It's sad that if one of these kids wanted an ice cream cone or a bag or something for themselves to eat they can't have it because they have it

Why do all the Duggars (especially JD and Josh) wear college sports stuff (tees, hats, etc) constantly? They've never gone to college. This seems sad to me, like they want to go but know JB would never let them.

To make it look like they're doing something with their lives

I wonder if the Duggars shop on black Friday.

[3girlsforus]

Why do all the Duggars (especially JD and Josh) wear college sports stuff (tees, hats, etc) constantly? They've never gone to college. This seems sad to me, like they want to go but know JB would never let them.

 

In many areas, especially in the south, the college sports teams are viewed like professional sports teams. It's not about whether you went to the school or not. Someone may wear a Yankees  t-shirt and not live in NY ... this is the same thing. The apparel is about the team, not the college. 

[Barb23]

Why do all the Duggars (especially JD and Josh) wear college sports stuff (tees, hats, etc) constantly? They've never gone to college. This seems sad to me, like they want to go but know JB would never let them.

I wonder how they feel when they go to the games surrounded by college kids their age. Do they think "that could be me?" Do they realize how much fun they (college kids) are having hanging out with friends & not their younger siblings? I'm sure Derick has told them stories of his college days.

The "college life" helped my son socially. He is on the quiet side and made lifelong friends. He studied architecture & for the last 2 yrs it was basically the same group of kids together in the classes. He still laughs about the crazy things they did at 2 am while working on their projects. They learned to root for one another and to help when things didn't go right. These are life lessons the Duggar kids will never have. What a shame.

[DoctorWhovian]

Why do all the Duggars (especially JD and Josh) wear college sports stuff (tees, hats, etc) constantly? They've never gone to college. This seems sad to me, like they want to go but know JB would never let them.

 

 

It's the south. I'm from California but I go to school down here and the college football thing is bizarre. Our college town revolves around football days, and every store is outfitted in the school colors, workers wear team shirts instead of normal uniforms, etc. It definitely wasn't like this at my undergrad.

 

I wonder more how much they are into the whole football/college sports thing, or do they just wear the shirts. Football is all about watching the game, drinking, and eating to excess. They don't drink. They can't watch the game (cheerleaders + scantily clad fans + beer commercials = nike alarms). They do eat gross tailgate style food. 

[Jellybeans]

That applies only to wimmenfolk serving their brothers/fathers/husbands. Men serve their lord (which entails a shockingly small amount of actual work, per example on this show), wimmenfolk serve the men.

In my family, the men watched football, basketball, baseball, golf while the wimmenfolk made food.

I was the family rebel so they got to hear my bitchin' while being "served". I do not think this is a Duggar thing only. I am from the South but made my escape.

[GEML]

I don't think it's only a Southern thing. In Western Pa everything revolved around football. High school on Friday, Pitt or Penn State on Saturday, Steelers on Sunday. That's a very blue collar area, and most people hadn't gone to either college, but followed the teams.

And then there is WVU.....

The idea that you even see cheerleaders at most of these games is really overblown. And I actually know hundreds of people who don't drink during the game because it impairs their ability to watch. The drinking is done afterwards. So the Duggars would find plenty of people - perhaps not a majority, but plenty - who keep them from standing out.

[3girlsforus]

Have the Duggars ever told what their food budget is? I'm curious how much they spend. Even though we all have good ideas on how it could be done better, it has to cost a fortune to feed everyone.

[DamWrite]

Have the Duggars ever told what their food budget is? I'm curious how much they spend. Even though we all have good ideas on how it could be done better, it has to cost a fortune to feed everyone.

I think the food cost was covered in an early episode, or maybe it was one of the specials.  I don't recall the amount, but it wasn't as much as I would have expected. Then again, they don't buy fresh foods, so it's kind of like their buy used and save the difference philosophy.  

Edited December 2, 2014 by DamWrite

[purpleflowers]

One article from this year that sites the TLC blog mentions that Michelle says that they aim for $5 per person per day, and that when it was 20 of them in the home, that translated to $3,000 per month.

Edited December 3, 2014 by purpleflowers

[3girlsforus]

If they can afford $100/day for food then they definitely can eat better. I could probably do it without changing much about how I shop and I know I could shop more cheaply than I do, plus things are cheaper in AR. 

Edited December 3, 2014 by 3girlsforus

[Absolom]

Just a reminder that the Duggars are in Arkansas (AR) not Alaska (AK).  

[3girlsforus]

Just a reminder that the Duggars are in Arkansas (AR) not Alaska (AK).  

Yes - sorry for the typo - I fixed it. Actually things in AK would be much more expensive :-)

[DoctorWhovian]

Yes - sorry for the typo - I fixed it. Actually things in AK would be much more expensive :-)

 

I wonder what quiver full is like up there, since you get the refund payment per person (including children). I don't know if there's a cap on the children, but my cousin just moved out of Alaska this year, and they received an equal payment for all three of theirs.

[Darknight]

Have the Duggars ever told what their food budget is? I'm curious how much they spend. Even though we all have good ideas on how it could be done better, it has to cost a fortune to feed everyone.

I think $800 like every week or around 1000 a month. They did show it on 14 kids

One article from this year that sites the TLC blog mentions that Michelle says that they aim for $5 per person per day, and that when it was 20 of them in the home, that translated to $3,000 per month.

Wtf. $5 cannot feed me for a day Edited December 3, 2014 by Darknight

[Chicklet]

 

Wtf. $5 cannot feed me for a day.

Well Darknight, the problem must be that you and I are heathen-type people so we spend more on food. When you are bathed in the spirit of the Church of the Holy Whatever Outbuilding of Jimbob, you get fuller faster on less food. 

Duggar's do it so it must be right. Or something.

[NausetGirl]

One article from this year that sites the TLC blog mentions that Michelle says that they aim for $5 per person per day, and that when it was 20 of them in the home, that translated to $3,000 per month.

 

This is the same amount I remember hearing - $3K a month.

[3girlsforus]

Wtf. $5 cannot feed me for a day

 

No but it's not a 1 to 1 relationship. The more people you are feeding, the less you can spend per person but still feed everyone adequately. So while I couldn't feed myself on $5 a day, I could feed 20 people on $100 a day with some planning and prep. 

[Darknight]

Why won't the Duggars take some tips from extreme couponers. Saves money

[Jynnan tonnix]

And while I wouldn't necessarily choose to feed myself on $5/day, I could probably buy a dozen eggs, a loaf of bread, 1/2 lb of some sort of cold cuts, 1/2 lb of deli cheese, a head of lettuce, a few tomatoes, some margarine, a chicken, some ground beef, carrots, celery potatoes & onions, and some milk for about $45, and probably string it out for a good 8 or 9 days without serious hunger if I really put my mind to it. Just a pot of chicken soup can probably give a single person four or five dinners if they didn't mind leftovers, and a pound of ground beef, strung out with a bit of egg and bread could make three or four more. Potatoes on the side are filling. Sandwiches, eggs and green salads (ok, I didn't allow for dressing) can also be made to last for a surprising number of meals. Not a lot of variety there, granted, but quite a bit of food. Heck, throw in a bag of dried beans for about $1 more and you have even more options.

[Betweenyouandme]

No but it's not a 1 to 1 relationship. The more people you are feeding, the less you can spend per person but still feed everyone adequately. So while I couldn't feed myself on $5 a day, I could feed 20 people on $100 a day with some planning and prep.

Yes. My goodness, my mother expected me to live on 30$ a month for food, soaps, cleaners, cat food, etc. before my beloved father stepped in and took over my finances because he was horrified that I was so underweight when he was finally allowed to see me. I mean, I lived, but it is so nice to be able to eat enough now.

[3girlsforus]

Yes. My goodness, my mother expected me to live on 30$ a month for food, soaps, cleaners, cat food, etc. before my beloved father stepped in and took over my finances because he was horrified that I was so underweight when he was finally allowed to see me. I mean, I lived, but it is so nice to be able to eat enough now.

WOW!!! That is crazy. Did she realize that was $1 a DAY??? That's insane. Also, when I say it can be done for $100 a day for the 20 people, I am talking about FOOD. Just food. I wasn't including personal hygiene products, paper products (just their toilet paper bill must be out of control LOL), detergents etc. Also I am taking into account that they don't have jobs outside of the home so spending a day baking, canning, prepping etc would be much more doable for them than a working mom or a mom whose kids have activities outside of the home. As a homeschooler myself I would cut her some slack on that since I know it can be hard for me to get the cooking and cleaning done between school, my kids activities and I work part time at night but it doesn't seem that Michelle or the older girls spend a lot of time on school work so they should have plenty of time left over for planning meals in a money-saving way.

[Betweenyouandme]

WOW!!! That is crazy. Did she realize that was $1 a DAY??? That's insane. Also, when I say it can be done for $100 a day for the 20 people, I am talking about FOOD. Just food. I wasn't including personal hygiene products, paper products (just their toilet paper bill must be out of control LOL), detergents etc. Also I am taking into account that they don't have jobs outside of the home so spending a day baking, canning, prepping etc would be much more doable for them than a working mom or a mom whose kids have activities outside of the home. As a homeschooler myself I would cut her some slack on that since I know it can be hard for me to get the cooking and cleaning done between school, my kids activities and I work part time at night but it doesn't seem that Michelle or the older girls spend a lot of time on school work so they should have plenty of time left over for planning meals in a money-saving way.

Yes. She did realize it but just didn't care. But, of course, she has no problem expecting expensive presents from me and my father now. Anyway. Sigh...

The Duggars do seem to know the basics about cooking and have time when they aren't traveling for TV. They could do so much better nutrition-wise and the fact they don't, makes me sad for the little ones. They have the money to buy great ingredients, and they just don't. It's selfish behavior, in my opinion, not being smart with money. I'm not one to think everything they eat must be totally healthy, but every day those kids should be given the vitamins and nutrients needed. And they have each other to ask advice and try new recipes.

I just have a huge issue with stingy (spelling?) people when they affect their children's lives in a negative manner. Proper bed, food, clean home, fitted clothes, and dental/healthcare should be number one on a guardian's list. There are so many people who can't afford these things, but TRYING to do the best they can. The Duggars are by far not the worst out there, I know, but they still bother me.

Edited December 3, 2014 by Betweenyouandme

[Barb23]

Why won't the Duggars take some tips from extreme couponers. Saves money

Boob said they don't have time to cut out coupons. He also said most of the stores they go to don't accept coupons. I think this question was asked on one of the Ask the Duggars episodes.

[riverblue22]

Michelle must spend most of that $5 a day at Starbucks...doesn't leave much for food!

[merylinkid]

Honestly, that is why crockpots were invented.   You throw everything in the pot, 8 hours later -- dinner.   Meanwhile you have time to do other things, like put sheets on the bed.    What they hell do they do all day that they can't put sheets on the bed and made decent meals.   Although making meals also becomes easier if everyone eats at a set time, instead of grazing all day.   If each person eats whenever, it's harder to control the prep time, food budget, etc.   But if everyone knows lunch is at noon and dinner is at 6, you can plan around that.

 

Which is the real problem with the Duggars.   They don't PLAN anything.   They just do whatever, whenever.   That is why they are late (well some passive-aggressive control freak there too), lugging suitcases to the car at the last minute while breakfast is being made, no sheets on the bed, no set school time, etc.   All that takes thought and planning.   Just too much effort for Mechelle and SlumbobMillionaire.   

[Barb23]

Honestly, that is why crockpots were invented. You throw everything in the pot, 8 hours later -- dinner. Meanwhile you have time to do other things, like put sheets on the bed. What they hell do they do all day that they can't put sheets on the bed and made decent meals. Although making meals also becomes easier if everyone eats at a set time, instead of grazing all day. If each person eats whenever, it's harder to control the prep time, food budget, etc. But if everyone knows lunch is at noon and dinner is at 6, you can plan around that.

Which is the real problem with the Duggars. They don't PLAN anything. They just do whatever, whenever. That is why they are late (well some passive-aggressive control freak there too), lugging suitcases to the car at the last minute while breakfast is being made, no sheets on the bed, no set school time, etc. All that takes thought and planning. Just too much effort for Mechelle and SlumbobMillionaire.

You are so right especially about the grazing. On one of the older episodes the producers asked a couple of the Howlers about their eating habits. They said something like they have breakfast (which is later in morning if they get up late) a snack, lunch, a couple more snacks, dinner & I'm sure there are evening snacks too. I think they graze cuz they're bored. How can they be snacking when they should be home fooling? The snacks look like a free for all. They showed Jackson & one of the little girls helping themselves to frozen berries. What a mess.

Like you said, it's a matter of planning, which they don't believe in. Now that everyone is getting older, it should be easier. (I love "SlumBobMillionaire".)

[NausetGirl]

Honestly, that is why crockpots were invented.   You throw everything in the pot, 8 hours later -- dinner.   Meanwhile you have time to do other things, like put sheets on the bed.    What they hell do they do all day that they can't put sheets on the bed and made decent meals.   Although making meals also becomes easier if everyone eats at a set time, instead of grazing all day.   If each person eats whenever, it's harder to control the prep time, food budget, etc.   But if everyone knows lunch is at noon and dinner is at 6, you can plan around that.

 

Which is the real problem with the Duggars.   They don't PLAN anything.   They just do whatever, whenever.   That is why they are late (well some passive-aggressive control freak there too), lugging suitcases to the car at the last minute while breakfast is being made, no sheets on the bed, no set school time, etc.   All that takes thought and planning.   Just too much effort for Mechelle and SlumbobMillionaire.   

 

So true - no thoughtful, intelligent planning is done. And Mechelle has called herself the Scheduler, the Planner. So I guess this question is asked - and answered.

[3girlsforus]

All this talk about planning and saving money by making things themselves is making me feel guilty. I think I need to take a day or two and fill my freezer with more homemade stuff. I definitely do a better job than the Duggars but I should do more.

[Ljohnson1987]

The Duggars' being shocked when they get pregnant. If you're having sex and not using BC, it'll happen. Stop acting like you don't know  that 

[PityFree]

The thing that bugs me most about the Duggars is that MEchelle and Boob think of themselves before their kids. I contrast this with my own parents who went without things and didn't go on fancy vacations so that the kids could have things like our own rooms, private school, braces, lessons, etc. Never in a million years would MEchelle or Boob deny themselves anything because one of the kids needed something. 

[Darknight]

The Duggars' being shocked when they get pregnant. If you're having sex and not using BC, it'll happen. Stop acting like you don't know that

And leaving it up to God

[SoSueMe]

Was the beds without sheets an unusual situation or is this the Duggars' typical way to make beds? First that I've heard of this.  

[Betweenyouandme]

Was the beds without sheets an unusual situation or is this the Duggars' typical way to make beds? First that I've heard of this.

I think it's just always how they've done it, especially with the boys. IT doesn't sound all that clean. My father and I don't use a flat sheet, but we have a fitted and use duvet covers that are washable.

[NausetGirl]

I think it's just always how they've done it, especially with the boys. IT doesn't sound all that clean. My father and I don't use a flat sheet, but we have a fitted and use duvet covers that are washable.

 

It isn't clean, it's gross - especially since we know these kids aren't packed off to bed each night in clean jammies following a bath. Duggar pillows don't look like they always have pillowcases either - yuck.  But it is very common - especially in Europe - for people to use just a fitted sheet along with a comforter or duvet - and that comforter is encased in a removable & washable comforter cover which can be washed weekly and slipped back on over the comforter. Think of it as a big ole pillowcase for a comforter. Cotton flannel ones in the Winter are ever so nice...

Edited December 3, 2014 by NausetGirl

[NausetGirl]

The thing that bugs me most about the Duggars is that MEchelle and Boob think of themselves before their kids. I contrast this with my own parents who went without things and didn't go on fancy vacations so that the kids could have things like our own rooms, private school, braces, lessons, etc. Never in a million years would MEchelle or Boob deny themselves anything because one of the kids needed something. 

 

A lot of truth in this, IMO. My own parents went without a lot for themselves during their own child-raising years. The older I get the more I realize all they did for us. But Boob and Mechelle are a study in Selfish. It appears that Boob considers himself a woefully-underprivileged child and is, in his late 40s, still blaming his own father for his poor providing. And Mechelle, well. She looks to be a monumentally-spoiled lastborn who's used to getting her own way and skilled at using people to meet her own needs. She even subjugates the well-being and happiness of her own children to get what she wants.

[Betweenyouandme]

It isn't clean, it's gross - especially since we know these kids aren't packed off to bed each night in clean jammies following a bath. Duggar pillows don't look like they always have pillowcases either - yuck. But it is very common - especially in Europe - for people to use just a fitted sheet along with a comforter or duvet - and that comforter is encased in a removable & washable comforter cover which can be washed weekly and slipped back on over the comforter. Think of it as a big ole pillowcase for a comforter. Cotton flannel ones in the Winter are ever so nice...

Yes, that's what we do. We're from Canada and Africa. Is this weird for US to use duvets and duvet covers? We buy them in US.

[Absolom]

No, washable duvet covers are quite common in the US.  Most people I know use a top sheet AND a duvet cover.  That way you don't have to wrestle with the duvet on a weekly basis.

[NausetGirl]

Yes, that's what we do. We're from Canada and Africa. Is this weird for US to use duvets and duvet covers? We buy them in US.

 

I think it used to be unusual for Americans to have comforters - most people had the fitted sheet, flat sheet, blanket and bedspread or quilt deal. However they've become much more popular in the last 30-40 years. I not only have a down comforter for my bed, I have a down throw for naps on the sofa or in my comfy big chair with ottoman. Very light but always cozy-warm...

[Betweenyouandme]

I don't see quilts being near as warm as a duvet. Plus, you can change out the type (down/synthetic, heaviness) for varying times of the year and add blankets on top. Duvets also seem cleaner because they're easier to wash than a padded comforter. And lastly, a person doesn't get twisted up in the flat sheet or stuck trying to untwist it when making the bed.

Go duvets!

[GEML]

I also think the Duggars heat and cool the house very dramatically, even by American standards. It's not unusual to see the kids in short sleeves and barefoot even during winter episodes. I realize they have heated floors, but they also have high ceilings, and the house would need to be heated and cooled substantially to maintain consistent temperatures throughout.

[cmr2014]

I don't doubt that fitted sheets and duvets are normal in other parts of the world, but I am 100% certain that the Duggars do not do this because they are emulating some European custom. They have traveled all over the world and absorbed exactly zero international culture.

 

I would also virtually guarantee that JB and J'chelle grew up in homes where they went to bed every night in a decent bed with both a top and a bottom sheet, and that they had clean pajamas to wear. Their children, on the other hand, sleep in their clothes, and sleep on the floor, or on a bare mattress. I would bet that they haven't purchased one stick of furniture -- including new beds for their growing children -- since TLC furnished the TTH many years ago. I also doubt that they have purchased any sheets or towels (new or used) in that time. They are simply lazy and slovenly, and have completely checked-out as parents.

[Micks Picks]

I wonder if the girls gave them any of their linens from their endless registers at BBB and other places.  I doubt it.  They both seem too selfish.  It's true we've never seen them get new towels or anything.  My sister is nut for kitchen towels while I don't use any.  But I do like to have plenty of pillow cases, wash clothes, and towels.  I guess we are all different, but I don't see any home making tendencies from MEchelle now that I think about it.  

[cmr2014]

I thought that they might when I heard about the registries with the requests for hundreds of towels and dozens of sets of linens. I wonder how the leg humpers would feel if they saw the sheets that they purchased off of the registry on one of the howler's beds?

[frenchtoast]

Taking the talk about sheets/duvets to Small Talk Prayer Closet

[DoctorWhovian]

What happens if a scantily clad woman (scantily clad in Duggar world, maybe showing a little cleavage or a short skirt) shows up at a book signing?