19 Things I Hate About You: How the Duggars Infuriate

[NausetGirl]

I think there is something broken, but I don't think it's narcissism or borderline personality disorder. It might be some kind of anxiety disorder that is masked by pregnancy hormones (or at least helped by it?) something like that?

One point I always come back to is Michelle making Jill call 911 when Josie's oxygen began failing. Even though Michelle understood the system far more. I wondered if perhaps she was simply too panicked to handle the call. That type of anxiety disorder could be hidden on television.

 

Maybe it could be hidden, but comments on this forum seem to be evidence enough that it isn't being hidden. People like us - none of us psychological professionals as far as I know - are clearly seeing something wrong.

[NausetGirl]

Probably has been mentioned before (sorry) but if Michelle has been pregnant or newly delivered so much of the last 30 years isn't it possible that she is in a perpetual state of postpartum depression? Maybe dealing with it by becoming hyper religious.

 

I think this is a distinct possibility.

[Potato511]

Can someone explain the sheet thing to me? Where does it come from that they don't use sheets? Don't they have bottom sheets on the mattresses? 

[BitterApple]

Can someone explain the sheet thing to me? Where does it come from that they don't use sheets? Don't they have bottom sheets on the mattresses? 

There's been quite a bit of footage, especially in the boys dorm, that has shown bare mattresses with maybe a blanket on them but no sheets. No fitted sheets, no flat sheets, no mattress pads. It's happened often enough that people were starting to wonder if the kids were wetting the beds all the time or whether the Duggars were just too lazy to put sheets on the bed. 

Edited November 9, 2014 by BitterApple

[GEML]

TLC might have started out think JB is a buffoon, but I bet his contracts are pretty good. He may not want his children to become lawyers and CPA's, but I bet he had no problem hiring them.

[Foghorn Leghorn]

I wonder about Michelle's parents and why they are never talked about or seen on the show so I found a link.  It says they became estranged due to Michelle's faith.  I wonder what they tell their kids about their maternal grandparents.  The link also mentions a sister that died last year, how sad.

 

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/faithgoespop/2013/06/michelle-duggars-sister-kathie-died-will-we-see-it-on-the-show/

Edited November 9, 2014 by Foghorn Leghorn

[cmr2014]

That's very sad -- she was only 60. Michelle's mother died relatively young as well. I wonder if there is a health problem that runs in that family. I hope that Michelle is getting real medical care and not just praying that she doesn't develop this condition.

[Chai]

I wonder about Michelle's parents and why they are never talked about or seen on the show so I found a link.  It says they became estranged due to Michelle's faith.  I wonder what they tell their kids about their maternal grandparents.  The link also mentions a sister that died last year, how sad.

 

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/faithgoespop/2013/06/michelle-duggars-sister-kathie-died-will-we-see-it-on-the-show/

 

Thank you for posting that link. I didn't know that, and I found it very interesting. For everything JB and Michelle do, modest wise, they sure don't seem tolerant or a forgiving family, if you aren't exactly on par with their views. I could be wrong, but it may seem like that.

[DamWrite]

From the article cited above: "There’s another sister who is a lesbian and either partnered or married."

 

How much do I love that Michelle has a lesbian sister?  So very, very much.  

 

How much do I hate that we don't see Michelle's family because of religious reasons?  So very, very much.

[3girlsforus]

I wonder what 'not strongly religious' means? I wonder if they are just not Fundy or if they aren't religious at all. 

[GEML]

Well, they are all Baptists, and have Southern ties, so Im going to go out on a limb and say they are more religious than say, most of the Western World, but pretty lukewarm for where they came from.

[WTFFF]

 

I wonder how the Duggar feels about illegal immigrants coming here to get a better life

 

I'm sure this was largely rhetorical, but - strongly against it.  One of the reasons they felt America should vote Santorum was because he was determined to seal our borders and keep out illegals.  I believe that was Joy's line in the "19 reason to vote for Santorum" video they made.

[Jellybeans]

Well, to be fair that is not just Santorum's view, the immigration issue.

I do not see Michelle as Narcissistic. I know a little about it, as my mother was diagnosed as being one. They do not share the main traits of Narcissism but I really see why people view her that way.

That said, I am not a counselor. I am the daughter of a diagnosed Narcissist so I do not know what is wrong with Michelle at all. Not a clue.

I have a hard time snarking on Michelle because I know something is wrong with her...and it is beyond her control without medical help.

Edited November 9, 2014 by Jellybeans

[Kiss my mutt]

To the Duggars,

Modesty-you're doing it wrong.

KMM

[StayClassySD]

Wow, I had no idea MEchelle's family had ties in the area I'm from. Her sister graduated from a local high school here.

[BitterApple]

Regarding Michelle and her family, I can relate somewhat. Although I never had a big rift over religious differences, I was the baby out of three with a huge age gap in between my siblings and I. As a result I'm not super close with them. I think it's often hard when you have siblings that are practically from a different generation. You don't really grow up together, you're always in different phases of life and you often just don't have a lot in common. I'm not sure if that's the case with Michelle, but it may help to explain why she's not more involved with her side of the family. 

[GEML]

My husband was born to much older parents. His brother was 21 when he was born and all his cousins were grown up or nearly so. His nieces and nephews and second cousins were all about ten years younger.

Had he lived in a culture where family didn't break down into separate nuclear units, it might not have mattered so much, but he did, so his role in the family was always awkward and after his father died he had no connection with that side because he was only a child, and then when his mother passed, he simply chose to let the awkwardness become the norm. For all I have 30 people drop in at my grandmother's at the drop of a hat, he essentially has no one. He became part of my family and wasn't bothered about leaving his.

And everyone involved here is Christian, but no more or less so than Sunday morning to those who show up to Christmas Midnight Mass. Sometimes these things just happen.

[kleebee]

Living that modest lifestyle...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2827754/Jim-Bob-Michelle-Duggar-Instagram-recreate-daughter-Jessa-s-public-kiss-husband-Ben-Seewald.html

[Darknight]

Living that modest lifestyle...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2827754/Jim-Bob-Michelle-Duggar-Instagram-recreate-daughter-Jessa-s-public-kiss-husband-Ben-Seewald.html

What is wrong with JimChelle

[DamWrite]

What is wrong with JimChelle

You'd get a briefer answer if you asked what's right with them.  Pretty much nothing.  

[floridamom]

I don't think that age differences, necessarily, should justify estrangements in families between siblings, as the older ones can be looked upon as aunt and uncles in a sense. However, Michelle goes on and on over the years trumpeting loudly how important family is and that it is everything. I would imagine that she and Jim Bob would do everything to preserve that relationship with their own siblings and their families, regardless of age. After all, what did she do herself to Josh and Josie? How far apart are those two? What, 21 years difference?  Heck, Josh hasn't even lived with the younger few at the TTH for very long after they were born or ever with the last two? How can he and Jordyn and Josie maintain a close sibling relationship? Josh is more like an uncle to her especially having Mack being about the same age as herself. Michelle did it to her own kids. Michelle's siblings have gone on record saying that it was HER who dumped her siblings for Jim Bob and his beliefs. They might have not agreed with her religious choices, but they indicated they were certainly willing to include her "in the family loop" and it was her and JB who decided to "hit the road and leave them in the dust" in the process... shame on them for that... How does Deanna get a pass from them when she, also, has her own set of religious beliefs that differ from her own brother? His family is OK, but not hers....

[Ljohnson1987]

The fact that they preach about modesty, but have no idea what it really means. 

[GEML]

The fact that they preach about modesty, but have no idea what it really means.

This. They've had modesty defined and approved or disapproved by a man who plays footsies under the table with young women and puts them on his lap and strokes their hair, but insists he doesn't have a problem.

You can't take any of the words that they use and assume it's standard American English. It's Gothardese.

[HeyNow]

Living that modest lifestyle...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2827754/Jim-Bob-Michelle-Duggar-Instagram-recreate-daughter-Jessa-s-public-kiss-husband-Ben-Seewald.html

This was accompanying the picture:  

For the new photo, Jessa provided an enthusiastic caption.

'My parents texted me this picture! This year marks 30 years of marriage, and they're still in that "honeymoon" stage!'

Jill has also mentioned something about keeping her marriage in the honeymoon stage.  They sure are fixated on that!

As for the recreation of Jessa and Ben's photo..........who DOES that???!!!!  And why is it so important that they never evolve/mature/live in the real world like the rest of us poor mooks.  Colour me disgusted.

[Darknight]

This was accompanying the picture:

For the new photo, Jessa provided an enthusiastic caption.

'My parents texted me this picture! This year marks 30 years of marriage, and they're still in that "honeymoon" stage!'

Jill has also mentioned something about keeping her marriage in the honeymoon stage. They sure are fixated on that!

As for the recreation of Jessa and Ben's photo..........who DOES that???!!!! And why is it so important that they never evolve/mature/live in the real world like the rest of us poor mooks. Colour me disgusted.

Good luck with that Jill.

[SmallTownMom]

I think JimBoob and Michelle had to recreate Jessa and BenSeewald's photo because, heaven forbid, somebody is getting more attention than they are.

 

I have to echo, "Who does that?!?!?!"

 

These people are so freaking weird.

[BradandJanet]

Well, to be fair that is not just Santorum's view, the immigration issue.

I do not see Michelle as Narcissistic. I know a little about it, as my mother was diagnosed as being one. They do not share the main traits of Narcissism but I really see why people view her that way.

That said, I am not a counselor. I am the daughter of a diagnosed Narcissist so I do not know what is wrong with Michelle at all. Not a clue.

I have a hard time snarking on Michelle because I know something is wrong with her...and it is beyond her control without medical help.This

 

Thank you for the perspective. I think people who thrive in the media spotlight have to have some kind of narcissistic sense of themselves to be so public all the time. That is not a personality disorder, necessarily, but it can be a mask. 

 

Michelle has an extremely flat affect and an air of disconnect about what's going on around her. That's what I immediately notice about her. She could well be on antidepressants, which can flatten out the highs and lows. If so, then good for her because she's getting help for a problem. It's probably better for the kids this way than for them to be with a mother who is in deeply depressed or is manic. Of course, this is all speculation, as the family has not shared this information.

 

However, JB and Mechelle have chosen to keep this show on the air. If Michelle comes across as "off," they've opted to ignore this for their own gain. 

[RazzleberryPie]

Living that modest lifestyle...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2827754/Jim-Bob-Michelle-Duggar-Instagram-recreate-daughter-Jessa-s-public-kiss-husband-Ben-Seewald.html

Gross. Pass the eye bleach. I can kind just pat Jessa and Ben on the head and move on for that smooching pic, because she's finally able to assert herself and rebel a little bit. Sad that she can't show any independence until she's saddled for life with a husband, but good that she can express some freedom now.

 

For JimBob and Michelle - GROSS and pathetic. I don't know if they're trying to steal Jessa's thunder, defend her lack of modesty for naysayers, or just think they're sexy and people want to see that? Whatever they were thinking, that was just unnecessary of them. 

 

Oh, and it's pretty NIKE and immodest, too.

[Jellybeans]

Michelle has an extremely flat affect and an air of disconnect about what's going on around her. That's what I immediately notice about her. She could well be on antidepressants, which can flatten out the highs and lows.

She reminds me of someone who is having a very extreme reaction to effexor. Again, I am not an expert at all, just someone with a crazy family.

I am rather normal I am proud to say. :-p

[BradandJanet]

She reminds me of someone who is having a very extreme reaction to effexor. Again, I am not an expert at all, just someone with a crazy family.

I am rather normal I am proud to say. :-p

 

Lol. I'd say Paxil: happiness, self-confidence, and weight gain. Been there :-)

Edited November 10, 2014 by BradandJanet

[GEML]

I'm actually kind of hoping Michelle is seeing some sort of mental health professional, but I'm skeptical because I'm sure in her mind she's still thinking she might get pregnant. A woman who would get pregnant after what she went through with Josie and all of those risks - I don't see her taking anti-depressants for fear that might "hurt the baby."

[BradandJanet]

Let's just say I hope she's on antidepressants; if not, she looks more stoned than just about anyone I can remember from the entire 1970's.

[WTFFF]

Well, to be fair that is not just Santorum's view, the immigration issue.

 

I never said it was.  My point is that JimBob clearly agrees with it, which is the question someone was asking - what is JimBob's stance on the subject?  If he made his fourteen year old daughter announce it as a reason to vote for the man, it stands to reason that it is also what he believes in.

[3girlsforus]

I remember MChelle once saying she wanted to "catch" another baby, how does one "catch" a baby?

I didn't hear that so I don't know the context Michelle used it but 'catch' a baby means you are there when it's delivered and are the one who "catches" it when it's born. Typically midwives talk about 'catching' a baby while doctors will say they deliver one. It's a basic difference in philosophy.  Midwives intervene when necessary while doctors actively augment the process as part of the standard care.

[Jynnan tonnix]

The context was the episode that they had seen the fertility specialist to determine whether or not she still had any chance to become pregnant. I didn't see the whole episode, just the clip where she was talking about it, but it was clear that she was using the term "catch a baby" to mean getting pregnant and maintaining the pregnancy.

[3girlsforus]

In the medical sense of catching a baby I understand, I was a paramedic for 10 years. My son was caught by a doctor after a nurse literally pushed on my ex-wifes belly to get the baby out in an emergency.

It was either after Josie or Jubille that MChelle said something to the effect that if the Lord willed her that she would catch another baby/blessing, it's been a while since I viewed the episode please correct my mistake(s).

Ty for the update, I gave my response before I read yours.

 

Sorry - If it sounded like I was talking down to you, I apologize. I didn't mean that at all.

 

I definitely have never heard of it used to refer to getting pregnant. That's odd. It conjures pictures of the stork flying overhead and dropping the baby while the mom runs around and tries to catch it. :-)

[Darknight]

Even I know I can't become pregnant naturally. Michelle should know this. It's called menopause

[GEML]

Hate to say it, but Michelle could be right. She might have eggs in play longer because she didn't use them all. My great grandmother had her last child at 49. He's only a year or so older than my father. Breast feeding at 51. Sigh.

[kalamac]

I once read a book (if I could remember the title I'd put it here), where a teenage girl got pregnant, and her grandmother said that she'd caught herself a baby. It stuck with me because it was so odd, but I always assumed it was a regional saying from somewhere in the US, that I'd never heard, because I'm Australian.

[cmr2014]

 

Hate to say it, but Michelle could be right. She might have eggs in play longer because she didn't use them all. My great grandmother had her last child at 49. He's only a year or so older than my father. Breast feeding at 51. Sigh.

 

I doubt it. She is clearly past her baby making days. There were serious complications with Josie, and she lost Jubilee. It's been four years now since her last pregnancy -- and she is clearly still trying.

 

She seems to be trying to wrap her head around this "new season of life," but she doesn't appear to be succeeding. For a while I thought she was going to have a break-down on camera, but she has seemed more composed recently. I think, though, that she has been busy with Jill and Jessa's weddings, and the campaign trip, but she will now have a few months now before baby Dillard is born. I don't know what will happen then, but I don't think it will be good.

 

I don't think that there's any chance that she will receive counseling. JB isn't going to pay for her to see a psychologist, and she has no pastor to speak with since they have their own church.

[GEML]

I doubt it too, but I'm saying that I can happen. And the people to whom it can happen are those like Michelle who never used eggs for regular ovulation cycles that resulted in periods like the rest of us.

[msblossom]

It's pretty certain that Michelle's days of "catching" babies are over. Even if she's not hit menopause and is simply peri menopausal, which probably more acurately depicts her current stage, then her chances of pregnancy are very very slim. Statistically Michelle will enter menopause (meaning her periods have stopped for a full 12 months) at about the same age her mother did.

[cmr2014]

It's not actually the number of eggs -- even women who have regular cycles have plenty of eggs -- it's the viability of the eggs.

 

She's clearly super-fertile, but she's had one near-miscarriage, and one miscarriage (that we know of), and no successful pregnancies for 5 years. Even if she does manage to "catch" another baby, I think the chances of her carrying it to term are slim to none. I could see another Jubilee-type special for a spontaneous miscarriage at 6-8 weeks, though.

[msblossom]

Very well said, cmr2014! No viable eggs and very very very slim chance she would conceive anyway, no matter how fertile she was 5+ years ago.

[mbutterfly]

She's probably thinking about Sarah, but even Sarah had the common sense to laugh. 

[Darknight]

Michelle isn't having any more kids. She's too old and never ever had a kid 5years apart. All of her kids are close together

[PityFree]

I don't think that there's any chance that she will receive counseling. JB isn't going to pay for her to see a psychologist...

They'll just make TLC pay for it!! The episode will be called Duggar Diagnosis and it will show the whole family touring a mental health facility. Michelle will wander around repeating the word 'perpendicular' over and over. All of the howlers put their dirty feet on the therapist's couch as the family tries to fit 21 people into the room. Then Bob asks the therapist to teach the kids how to perform therapy so next time they need it they can do it themselves!

Edited November 10, 2014 by PityFree

[SoSueMe]

Sorry - If it sounded like I was talking down to you, I apologize. I didn't mean that at all.

 

I definitely have never heard of it used to refer to getting pregnant. That's odd. It conjures pictures of the stork flying overhead and dropping the baby while the mom runs around and tries to catch it. :-)

First thing that popped into my mind was "catching" a baby as you would "catch" a cold. So if Jim Bob sneezed in Michelle's direction she could possibly become impregnated without getting nekkid or anything immodest like that, JK.

[Darknight]

They'll just make TLC pay for it!! The episode will be called Duggar Diagnosis and it will show the whole family touring a mental health facility. Michelle will wander around repeating the word 'perpendicular' over and over. All of the howlers put their dirty feet on the therapist's couch as the family tries to fit 21 people into the room. Then Bob asks the therapist to teach the kids how to perform therapy so next time they need it they can do it themselves!

Omg. I laughed so hard at this. This sounds like something he would do. JimChelle explain to viewers how their marriage is strong and their kids are amazing but nothing wrong with therapy. Then asked the therapist what can they do at home to continue therapy themselves. I would actually watch the show if this were to happen. Tlc pays for a bunch of therapy sessions all individual for each family member. JimChelle gets both couples and individual therapy, while the kids get both individual and family therapy to call out their parents on their bullshit.

[ghoulina]

First thing that popped into my mind was "catching" a baby as you would "catch" a cold. So if Jim Bob sneezed in Michelle's direction she could possibly become impregnated without getting nekkid or anything immodest like that, JK.

 

As ridiculous as these people are, I wouldn't be surprised if they believed that. Maybe that's the explanation behind the strict courtship rules. I'm surprised they don't make the girls wear a sneezeguard.