S07.E10: From Stranger to Sweetheart

[misokinesia]

4 hours ago, Waterlilly said:

Bobby was funny when he made that comment about Danielle’s mother’s hamburgers. 

 

52 minutes ago, Open Mouth said:

Yes, Bobby's comment and Danielle's reaction about his MIL's hamburgers had us all laughing and typifies their wonderful relationship.

I really like Bobby and Danielle. Their gifts really did seem thoughtful. I also loved the burger comment and it seems, as others had speculated over the fish bowl questions last episode, that Danielle is probably more open off camera. I think her comment about how she told him that "in private" showed she's quite aware of what she's saying and how she is presenting herself on the show. As for her eyebrows, hindsight is 20/20. It's an easy fix, you can see in some scenes they are far less filled in, and she won't spend the rest of her life trying to grow them back (unlike some of us *sigh*).

Edited September 6, 2018 by misokinesia

[Ilovepie]

4 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

That's not my quote you were responding to; I think that was part of a much larger quote by @Neurochick of which I had quoted & responded.

Oh shoot- you are right - oops!

[Yeah No]

23 hours ago, calpurnia99 said:

One main reason the first 2 articles failed to mention is that  Baby Boomers had stay at home moms. Their moms cooked dinner every night for dad and taught their daughters how to bake and cook. Millennials had 2 working parents who brought home pizza and take out, so were never taught how to cook. In a way it's a good thing because Baby Boomers were taught about cooking from 1950's standards which also included stuff like wearing high heels in the kitchen, always having a protein, starch and veg at meals,  and having plenty of ashtrays for your guests. It seems the 3rd article did mention this. I was taught mom and grandma and they placed such a HUGE importance on all of these things.

 

I am a Baby Boomer whose mother worked full time and still came home and cooked at least 3 nights a week for me and Dad.   Other times we went out to diners, HoJo's, or had a deli roast chicken and even McDonald's and pizza once in a while, back in the 1960s.  Of course we also at times ate TV dinners.  My mother had a repertoire of simple, quick, easy and FANTASTIC meals, several of which I still make today.  She was making "sheet pan" dinners long before that was a "thing".  She was a devotee of Julia Child's from the moment her cookbook hit the market, then her TV show.  I used to watch it with her on PBS.  My mom and grandma were phenomenal cooks of Italian descent.  Neither of them taught me how to cook, I just picked it up peripherally by watching them and from TV cooking shows.  The thing is, I had an interest in it and arguably inherited the "cooking gene", although I didn't start cooking until I was a young adult.

A lot of people even in my generation don't cook.  None of my close female friends (except one) can cook at all, and they're all Baby Boomers whose mothers didn't work and cooked every night.  These are all women who chose a career path and didn't have children, but they are still a significant percentage of women from my social background.  I chose career and didn't have kids either but I guess there is something to the cooking gene in my family.

Also, neither of my parents smoked and we owned no ashtrays.  Perhaps we were atypical, but not everyone from that generation fit that mold.  Some of these "trends" read to me more like caricatures and stereotypes, based on popular images broadcast on TV and in movies.

Edited September 6, 2018 by Yeah No
Grammar and clarity.

[Yeah No]

12 hours ago, calpurnia99 said:

Just a word about studies and percentages, they always always looki at trends as "in 1980 70% of 25 year old knew how cook in 2018 only 40% can" so there is a shift overall. In 1960 25% of mothers worked outside the home in 2018 80% of moms work outside the home" Of course there were people outlying the majority. To report " I grew up in 1960 and my mom had a job and didnt cook" , is a given.  It was the same thing when scientific evidence shows it is harder to have babies when you are over 35 and 100 people jump into the thread to report that they had a baby when they were 42 and their friends grandmother had  a baby at  45.

Yes there are also millennials who know who to cook and baby boomers  who never learned how to cook. The study showed the trend is more Milennials cannot cook than Baby Boomers. I was saying what one of the reasons for this TREND is - not talking about your specific life growing up.

One of the reasons more young people knew how to cook back in the day is because they didn't have the abundance of ready prepared convenience foods readily available at any time like we do today, especially in rural areas.  So you were pretty much forced into a kitchen at least to crack open a can of tuna and make yourself a sandwich every now and then whether you liked it or not.  And young people probably became independent earlier, too, which made learning how to cook more of a necessity.  But I don't believe young baby boomers, at least not college kids, knew much about cooking in my day.  Even I didn't.  It wasn't until I moved out on my own that I had to learn, and it wasn't overnight either.  I made a lot of rookie mistakes.  I didn't have my mother looking over my shoulder to tell me what I was doing wrong.  Also, I was young, active, and didn't have the time to cook.  All the same reasons that millennials today might not be cooking.  And all of my friends fit the same category.  So I don't know about trends, really, and I definitely think talking about specific life experiences is relevant here.  So-called trends don't tell the whole story and those of us who lived through that era know that first hand.

I also think it's a myth that women in the US cooked all that more than they do now back in the 50s and 60s.  It depends on what you mean by "cooking".  Back then the big thing was "less work for mother" as in throwing together a meal made with canned or frozen vegetables and one protein that you could "shake and bake".  Easy peasy, not REAL cooking.  Mostly it was just assembling and preparing.  Somewhere in the 1980s cooking was re-defined as cooking from scratch, not just throwing together some hamburger helper and calling that a meal.

Edited September 6, 2018 by Yeah No

[humbleopinion]

At the airport, a dude next to me was watching this season’s episodes on his laptop.

He said his gf got him hooked on the show....think it was more his mom than a “gf” ...but not going to argue with a stranger.

Dude was cool and a real fan.

kept my mouth shut and side eyed his screen while he watched episodes 8+9...then watched 10(he plugged my headphones in) because the flight was delayed.

He said Danielle was his type and self proclaimed as Bobby-esque.

2 hour delayed flight made painless.

[humbleopinion]

Curious minds want to know...

How does Danielle’s mom mess up making a burger?

Hopefully, Bobby will eat and review the now famous bad burger when he visits Seattle  in a few weeks.

[Yeah No]

22 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

My mom did. Even if they worked, MOST moms of baby-boomers were expected to do all the housework and nearly all the child-rearing, too.

My mom was ahead of her time, in some ways. She brought home the bacon, and cooked it up in the pan. She never wore high heels to cook. If my dad (who smoked) wanted an ash tray, he had to get it for himself, and dump it out too. She 'drew the line' at that. Dad definitely knew better than to bring his stinky cigarettes into the room she was in! 

I'm glad millenial women don't feel they have to do it all when both they and their spouses work full time. If my mom were alive, she'd be happy about that too. 

Mom never indoctrinated me into the "little woman" mindset --and for that, I will always be very grateful.

 

I could have written this.....Except my dad didn't smoke.  Some boomers had mothers that worked and were "getting woke" about women's rights.  My mother read Betty Friedan and sympathized with the women's movement of that time.  And yet she loved to cook.  She never pushed cooking on me, but wanted me to do whatever I liked doing even if cooking wasn't part of that.

The point is that women like Danielle and Amber are benefiting from the struggles of women before them.  Cooking was once considered "women's work", while now I am noticing the young women not necessarily feeling responsible for it, which is great.  If the person in the couple that cooks is a man and not a woman, no one should bat an eye.  It looks to me like Dave knows his way around a kitchen.  Not everyone is into cooking nor do I think they should be.  Cooking is an art and requires some skill that not everyone necessarily has.  Do I think everyone should have some basic cooking skills?  Yeah, people should be somewhat self sufficient in a kitchen.  But I don't feel it's a requirement.

Edited September 6, 2018 by Yeah No

[Meowwww]

I still wanna know what Dave’s gym friend’s experience with Amber was!   (Terribly awkward sentence, I know.  I just woke up, coffee hasn’t kicked in yet)

[Ilovepie]

3 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

How does Danielle’s mom mess up making a burger?

Perhaps the way my husband does by over seasoning the meat until it tastes like a salt lick? I used to let him season the meat because he was doing the grilling until I ate a burger so salty it felt like sand in my burger. Now I season it before he cooks it. 

She could also under/over cook it.....

I would also say I never really learned to cook until I had kids that I had to feed. I am Gen X age with grandmothers who were great cooks and a baby boomer mom who was not. As a young adult I ate a lot of prepared food, cereal, sandwiches and salad or I ate out. If you don’t like cooking it’s pretty easy to get by without doing it. I’m decent for not really starting to learn until I was 33, but it still feels like a chore to me and I only make a couple real meals a week.

[2727]

On 9/5/2018 at 10:18 AM, psychoticstate said:

I was lukewarm on Bobby in the beginning but damn. He really is cute and thoughtful.

I was downright cold on Bobby in the beginning because of his Stepford demeanor along with being a daddy's AND mama's boy, but I'm starting to relent. Maybe he's not Patrick Bateman after all, hiding a psychopathic secret life.

Mia, on the other hand, could be up for a remake of Fatal Attraction.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

8 hours ago, Yeah No said:

One of the reasons more young people knew how to cook back in the day is because they didn't have the abundance of ready prepared convenience foods readily available at any time like we do today, especially in rural areas.  So you were pretty much forced into a kitchen at least to crack open a can of tuna and make yourself a sandwich every now and then whether you liked it or not.  And young people probably became independent earlier, too, which made learning how to cook more of a necessity.  But I don't believe young baby boomers, at least not college kids, knew much about cooking in my day.  Even I didn't.  It wasn't until I moved out on my own that I had to learn, and it wasn't overnight either.  I made a lot of rookie mistakes.  I didn't have my mother looking over my shoulder to tell me what I was doing wrong.  Also, I was young, active, and didn't have the time to cook.  All the same reasons that millennials today might not be cooking.  And all of my friends fit the same category.  So I don't know about trends, really, and I definitely think talking about specific life experiences is relevant here.  So-called trends don't tell the whole story and those of us who lived through that era know that first hand.

I also think it's a myth that women in the US cooked all that more than they do now back in the 50s and 60s.  It depends on what you mean by "cooking".  Back then the big thing was "less work for mother" as in throwing together a meal made with canned or frozen vegetables and one protein that you could "shake and bake".  Easy peasy, not REAL cooking.  Mostly it was just assembling and preparing.  Somewhere in the 1980s cooking was re-defined as cooking from scratch, not just throwing together some hamburger helper and calling that a meal.

 

There is a lot of truth in this, although my experience with cooking was different. 

Back in the 1950's-60's, the cost of pre-processed vs. fresh food was the reverse of what it is now. If a family made enough money between two parents' wages, they could afford time-saving 'pre-cooked' and/or partially-prepared mixes. They didn't have to make everything "from scratch".

Cooking "from scratch" was so much cheaper than the convenience foods, it made a big difference to the budget. My mom didn't make much money teaching school, and my dad was a self-employed carpenter/handyman. Her work was steady during the school year, but his wasn't --so we lived on Mom's salary during school and on whatever Dad had, for the summer. Plus, we had fruit trees and my dad always grew a veggie garden. Mom often used canned veggies on school nights - but a lot of it was 'canned' at home. Money was very tight. --But that's how they sent us to college.

For my mom, "convenience foods" were a luxury that our family could rarely afford. She even made her own cakes, rather than buy mixes. And that was how I learned to cook from my mother --from scratch.

Of course, now it's very easy to find cheap "convenience foods" (although they usually aren't that healthy). It's pretty obvious that the millenial women in MAFS have been doing that -and/or eating out- almost exclusively. They may never have learned to cook anything "from scratch".

Edited September 6, 2018 by Crazy Bird Lady

[Yeah No]

35 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

There is a lot of truth in this, although my experience with cooking was different. 

Back in the 1950's-60's, the cost of pre-processed vs. fresh food was the reverse of what it is now. If a family made enough money between two parents' wages, they could afford time-saving 'pre-cooked' and/or partially-prepared mixes. They didn't have to make everything "from scratch".

Cooking "from scratch" was so much cheaper than the convenience foods, it made a big difference to the budget. My mom didn't make much money teaching school, and my dad was a self-employed carpenter/handyman. Her work was steady during the school year, but his wasn't --so we lived on Mom's salary during school and on whatever Dad had, for the summer. Plus, we had fruit trees and my dad always grew a veggie garden. Mom often did use canned veggies on school nights - but a lot of it was 'canned' at home. That's how they sent us to college - but money was very tight.

For my mom, "convenience foods" were a luxury that our family could rarely afford. She even made her own cakes, rather than buy mixes. And that was how I learned to cook from my mother --from scratch.

Of course, now it's very easy to find cheap "convenience foods" (although they usually aren't that healthy). It's pretty obvious that the millenial women in MAFS have been doing that -and/or eating out- almost exclusively. They may never have learned to cook anything "from scratch".

That's true to some extent, except that I include stuff like frozen and canned veggies in that "convenience food" category, which are actually pound for pound still mostly cheaper than their fresh versions, sometimes by a lot.  Just try to buy the amount of fresh spinach that comes from that little Birdseye block and you'd be shocked.

I don't think Millennials like Amber and Danielle mind any increased cost associated with their lack of cooking, though.  My mother didn't mind as she thought it was worth the extra cost not to be dead tired every night.  She made up for it in other ways.  She saw it as a trade-off.  Working for her was far better for her budget even with the extra cost, but everyone's situation (like yours) is different.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

2 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

That's true to some extent, except that I include stuff like frozen and canned veggies in that "convenience food" category, which are actually pound for pound still mostly cheaper than their fresh versions, sometimes by a lot.  Just try to buy the amount of fresh spinach that comes from that little Birdseye block and you'd be shocked.

I understand. I was just saying that 'convenience' foods weren't cheaper back in the 1950's-60's when my parents were trying to meet their budget. Fresh fruits and veggies in season bought from local grocery stores were definitely cheaper for my parents back then, than buying frozen. (That's certainly not true anymore. )

I do buy a lot of 'convenient' frozen veggies for my own family, when I don't have time for 'scratch'. Usually the quickie 'steamables'.  As for "fresh from the garden" --all I grow is fresh herbs in pots. But at least I taught all my kids "scratch" cooking.

(I guess my kids never had it as good as I did, with the garden fresh veggies and scratch-made everything!)

 

2 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

My mother didn't mind as she thought it was worth the extra cost not to be dead tired every night.  She made up for it in other ways.  She saw it as a trade-off.  Working for her was far better for her budget even with the extra cost, but everyone's situation (like yours) is different.

I understand. I hope you didn't think I was judging!

My mom worked all day and was usually up till almost midnight, between cooking, home chores, grading papers, and making lesson plans. She probably would have used a lot more 'convenience foods' if she could have afforded them.

[princelina]

17 hours ago, Waterlilly said:

I think maybe Amber should have cooked something she knows, most everyone has something they can cook. Danielle probably only has that one thing in her repertoire so she cooked it for Bobby. I would even suggest those preprepped meals and cook it together. Amber sometimes is her own worst enemy and makes it too easy for Dave to snipe at her.  I wish they both would just relax already. 

She could have made the meal she did with a rotisserie chicken!

 

9 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I also think it's a myth that women in the US cooked all that more than they do now back in the 50s and 60s.  It depends on what you mean by "cooking".  Back then the big thing was "less work for mother" as in throwing together a meal made with canned or frozen vegetables and one protein that you could "shake and bake".  Easy peasy, not REAL cooking.  Mostly it was just assembling and preparing.  Somewhere in the 1980s cooking was re-defined as cooking from scratch, not just throwing together some hamburger helper and calling that a meal.

When you do that from scratch it's called "turkey mess" :D

 

5 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

How does Danielle’s mom mess up making a burger?

Mine does it by shaping the patties too thick and not wide enough, so when they are done cooking they are the shape of small tennis balls, perched precariously in a bun that hangs out on all sides.

[Porkchop]

I cooked for 25 years ... married years, with kids years ... and now I'm done cooking! What a joy it is not to have to cook! I take shrimp cocktail to all potluck events and no one minds that I don't cook.

Danielle and Bobby are just making me smile! How few times we have seen these couples look at each other adoringly! Tristan makes me sad ... to think that his god would pick a criminal for his bride. Dave and Amber look like a nice couple ... but both of them seem determined to find the problems, instead of looking for the joy.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

You can cook 'from scratch' in a single pan (like "turkey mess") quite easily. Last night I put a little olive oil in a frying pan, tossed in some seasonings, shook the pan to even it all up and then added a slice of chicken breast for each of us. After that had browned, I flipped the chicken over and tossed in some chopped mushrooms, a chopped yellow squash, a couple chopped scallions, and a light sprinkling of freshly-chopped herbs (cilantro, thyme, parsley). I added a lid. After that sauteed...another 15 min. or so, I flipped the chicken again to lightly char the veggies ...and done! 

Takes about half an hour, total, and the flipping can be done on commercial breaks if you're watching the evening news. 

[LennieBriscoe]

Random responses:

--I'm betting that Ricky Bobby was kidding about placing that stadium list above the marital bed!  ⚾

--"I's" is neither word nor contraction; it is, rather,  an abomination unto the Grammar Deity! (The only acceptable usage is if one is attempting to write as a Stepin Fetchit character: "I's gwine to bale that cotton soon, Massa!" So....no. ?)

--Keeping with that theme, "Dave and my": The syntax is awkward and the meaning ambiguous (does "Dave and my car" refer to their car,  or to Amber's car accompanied by Dave?). So yes, "Dave's and my" is better. Or "My and Dave's." Or "Ben and Jerry's." Mmmmmm.....Ben and Jerry's....?

[love2lovebadtv]

17 hours ago, Waterlilly said:

I think maybe Amber should have cooked something she knows, most everyone has something they can cook. Danielle probably only has that one thing in her repertoire so she cooked it for Bobby. I would even suggest those preprepped meals and cook it together. Amber sometimes is her own worst enemy and makes it too easy for Dave to snipe at her.  I wish they both would just relax already. 

I’ve never seen anyone kiss like Mia, weird. That date sucked. 

Bobby was funny when he made that comment about Danielle’s mother’s hamburgers. 

I think all dishes are unfamiliar to Amber because she doesn't seem to be able to cook at all and seemed completely uncomfortable in the kitchen, and didn't know basic food safety. I used to think everyone could cook a little something until I met someone at work who is in her early 40s and said she has never even turned on her stove after a few years of living in her apartment. After that, I learned there are tons of people who can't cook at all. Just like there are people who can't drive, do laundry, etc.  

She gets an A for effort for attempting all that with Dave sitting right there. 

[humbleopinion]

45 minutes ago, princelina said:

 

 

Mine does it by shaping the patties too thick and not wide enough, so when they are done cooking they are the shape of small tennis balls, perched precariously in a bun that hangs out on all sides.

I would’t mind eating a ball burger if the bun could cup the meat and the lettuce, tomato slice, pickles properly.

Bun overhang could be problematic.

[love2lovebadtv]

I keep seeing posts related to Amber having extensions and I still just don't see it. Wouldn't the fake hair look better? I'm no expert but at the salon where I get my blowouts, I've seen stylists do human hair extensions that they can bleach, straighten, and curl. The hair doesn't look fried and unhealthy. I've also seen the cheap Sally's discount store clip-in extensions that look pretty and shiny and come in different varieties. I would imagine they wouldn't hold up as well but they're so cheap you can just replace them. 

 

For whatever reason, Amber clearly has a hangup about not having been born a blond. And having blond hair matters more to her than hair that looks good/healthy. I say this because she doesn't even seem to comb/brush/smooth down the roots and keeps clinging to her blond identity. It's a shame. 

[humbleopinion]

Recent photos of Amber partying with Mia shows her hair as brown.

[OlderThanDirt]

Am I the only one who thinks Amber looks like Kelly Ann Conway?

[gonecrackers]

30 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Recent photos of Amber partying with Mia shows her hair as brown.

And the 'experts' said she was a brunette when they chose her - but I wonder just when that happened. She's a blonde in the mugshot match up picture, blonde during the 'proposal' episode - anyone know if there was a shot of her in the crowd while the 'experts' addressed potential victims participants?

According to them the blonde was a new development.  If she's never been blonde before, it's odd she would suddenly see herself as a blonde. Also odd she would dive right into the whole bleach out without even test driving some highlights for a while instead.

Maybe Shawniece made her a crappy wig for added conflict this season...

[ramble]

Y’all have covered it all better than I could but I’m a talker, a rambling blitherer, so I feel compelled to...

Ricky Bobby is still impressing me, much to my surprise! He must be a good listener to have not only heard the doggie DNA test idea, but remembered it then followed through and ordered it. I find it an odd request but Bobby loves Henry and Danielle. The list of reasons he loves her was smushy sweet. And her gift was thoughtful and a good example of paying attention and listening as well. Go you guys go!

Dave got major points from me for not screaming during the chicken dinner of doom. I would’ve had to say something. Yuck! I think he knew that one comment about the long-nailed raw chicken fingers would have led to a full blown bawling blonde breakdown and hours of insecurity theatre complete with a recitation of past moments where Amber felt not good enough. I’m exhausted just writing that. I can’t imagine living it. 

Mia and whatshisname are horrible to watch. I know his name but it escapes me at the moment. Much like I hope he will escape Mia as soon as the camera turns off. And why can I remember her stinking stupid name?! Boo me! 

Edited September 6, 2018 by ramble

[humbleopinion]

His name is “Help me Jesus.”

[LilaFowler]

1 hour ago, OlderThanDirt said:

Am I the only one who thinks Amber looks like Kelly Ann Conway?

Willem Dafoe.

[Yeah No]

3 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

I understand. I was just saying that 'convenience' foods weren't cheaper back in the 1950's-60's when my parents were trying to meet their budget. Fresh fruits and veggies in season bought from local grocery stores were definitely cheaper for my parents back then, than buying frozen. (That's certainly not true anymore. )

That might also have been a function of where I lived.  Where I grew up deep in the heart of the concrete jungle in one of the most expensive cities in the world, canned and frozen was always cheaper.  But I know my location was somewhat different than most.

3 hours ago, love2lovebadtv said:

She gets an A for effort for attempting all that with Dave sitting right there. 

I had to sit through watching that scene again when my husband caught up with this episode, and the facial expressions Dave was making to the camera when she couldn't see it were PRICELESS.  I could barely keep from cracking up!  He was obviously biting his tongue big time, bless his heart.  

3 hours ago, princelina said:

Mine does it by shaping the patties too thick and not wide enough, so when they are done cooking they are the shape of small tennis balls, perched precariously in a bun that hangs out on all sides.

It's so easy to prevent that, just press your thumb in the center of the burger to create a little "well" or depression so when the center of the burger plumps up during cooking, the burger comes out flat.  They beat that over our heads on cooking shows!

1 hour ago, gonecrackers said:

According to them the blonde was a new development.  If she's never been blonde before, it's odd she would suddenly see herself as a blonde. Also odd she would dive right into the whole bleach out without even test driving some highlights for a while instead.

I'm thinking Amber talked herself into thinking that most men prefer blondes so she wanted to "ensure" that her husband to be found her attractive.  But duh, didn't she realize that the experts took her hair color into account when finding someone to match her with, and would try to find someone that preferred brunettes?  They may not be that good at matching much else, but they usually try to get basic stuff like that right.

The same can be said for Danielle.  Bobby said he preferred brunettes on "Unfiltered" too, so why the need to be a blonde?  I'm not sure if she was blonde during the selection process but I find it interesting that both blondes this season are not real blondes and both of their matches prefer brunettes!

[Lusterleaf]

2 hours ago, OlderThanDirt said:

Am I the only one who thinks Amber looks like Kelly Ann Conway?

Yes I can see it. On another chat group I'm in, someone compared her to Willem Dafoe's long lost daughter lol

[Crazy Bird Lady]

49 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

That might also have been a function of where I lived.  Where I grew up deep in the heart of the concrete jungle in one of the most expensive cities in the world, canned and frozen was always cheaper.  But I know my location was somewhat different than most.

It's so easy to prevent that [ball-shaped burgers], just press your thumb in the center of the burger to create a little "well" or depression so when the center of the burger plumps up during cooking, the burger comes out flat.  They beat that over our heads on cooking shows!

I'm glad you knew that little trick with the burgers. Works like a charm!

As for where you lived... Ah, the glories of Big City Life! I grew up in a small town, so that explains the difference in relative prices of produce. 

I, on the other hand, was desperately jealous of people who lived in big cities and could therefore eat at 'glamorous' food chains like McDonalds, Jack-in-the-Box, and Pizza Hut! We almost never went out to eat, anyway, but on the rare special occasion when we did, it was somewhere local. (There were no fast food restaurant franchises in town.)

Edited September 6, 2018 by Crazy Bird Lady

[KateHearts]

5 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

--Keeping with that theme, "Dave and my": The syntax is awkward and the meaning ambiguous (does "Dave and my car" refer to their car,  or to Amber's car accompanied by Dave?). So yes, "Dave's and my" is better. Or "My and Dave's."

Not "my and Dave's..." you always put the other person first.  You wouldn't say "I and Dave went to the store,"  would you?  :)

[Happyfatchick]

On 9/4/2018 at 9:05 PM, PityFree said:

Amber’s ridiculous roots are killing me. What would she look like if she were put on an island for a month without makeup and dye??  She’d look absolutely nothing like she currently looks. She wears too much makeup. Her hair would be dark. Her extensions would fall out. Her fake nails would snap off. She couldn’t wear perfume. Dave would not recognize her. 

Ambers ridiculous roots make me snappy too!!!  And PLEASE, amber, invest in a mirror so you can see the back of your own head.  A hand mirror is probably less than $5 at WM.  Every single time the camera angle catches the back of her head, I make a face.  It’s so NASTY how she always lets that slide.  I mean, she is paranoid to the EXTREME about her looks - how can she neglect that spot that has been perpetual BEDHEAD since the series started???  Does she not have even one friend who can say “Amber, let me fix that for you...”

NOOOOOO!!!!!  She does NOT!!!  Guess why???  Because if her friend stepped up and said “let’s fix that”, amber would be in a closet crying for the next 6 damn weeks because someone said something negative about her stupid HAIR.  God FORBID Dave say something - and you KNOW he sees it - she would never EVER recover!!

[LennieBriscoe]

KateHearts, I wouldn't, but would I, I would yet be grammatically correct. Just not polite.  ?

Edited September 6, 2018 by LennieBriscoe

[Yeah No]

6 hours ago, Happyfatchick said:

Ambers ridiculous roots make me snappy too!!!  And PLEASE, amber, invest in a mirror so you can see the back of your own head.  A hand mirror is probably less than $5 at WM.  Every single time the camera angle catches the back of her head, I make a face.  It’s so NASTY how she always lets that slide.  I mean, she is paranoid to the EXTREME about her looks - how can she neglect that spot that has been perpetual BEDHEAD since the series started???  Does she not have even one friend who can say “Amber, let me fix that for you...”

NOOOOOO!!!!!  She does NOT!!!  Guess why???  Because if her friend stepped up and said “let’s fix that”, amber would be in a closet crying for the next 6 damn weeks because someone said something negative about her stupid HAIR.  God FORBID Dave say something - and you KNOW he sees it - she would never EVER recover!!

My husband says when you look at Amber from the rear, it looks like there's a crack and a cave on the back of her head.  It's so dark under the crack! Like how can anyone style their hair to look like that every single time?  It looks like the hair bleach didn't get all the way underneath and she deliberately styles it so there's some weird crack in the back.  Very strange.

[Happyfatchick]

Danielle always refer to them as “Bobby and i’s”, which makes me sharpen a red pen. Bobby and mine, or mine and Bobby’s is equally pleasing to the ear.  The newish turns of “Bobby and I’s” is just so wrong, it squigs me right out.  We’ve had several new couples use that terminology and it drives me up the nearest wall.  In reality,   alllll the names can be dropped with “our”.  Don’t even bother to remember who goes where, throw it all in the cookie batter and use OUR and it comes out exactly right.  “Our relationship is on the right track” or whatever you need to fill in can be done.  Seems to me they host an unnecessary word war in their brains to cough up “Jim’s and I’s”.  Don’t overthink it.

Edited September 7, 2018 by Happyfatchick

[Lily247]

22 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

There is a lot of truth in this, although my experience with cooking was different. 

Back in the 1950's-60's, the cost of pre-processed vs. fresh food was the reverse of what it is now. If a family made enough money between two parents' wages, they could afford time-saving 'pre-cooked' and/or partially-prepared mixes. They didn't have to make everything "from scratch".

Cooking "from scratch" was so much cheaper than the convenience foods, it made a big difference to the budget. My mom didn't make much money teaching school, and my dad was a self-employed carpenter/handyman. Her work was steady during the school year, but his wasn't --so we lived on Mom's salary during school and on whatever Dad had, for the summer. Plus, we had fruit trees and my dad always grew a veggie garden. Mom often used canned veggies on school nights - but a lot of it was 'canned' at home. Money was very tight. --But that's how they sent us to college.

For my mom, "convenience foods" were a luxury that our family could rarely afford. She even made her own cakes, rather than buy mixes. And that was how I learned to cook from my mother --from scratch.

Of course, now it's very easy to find cheap "convenience foods" (although they usually aren't that healthy). It's pretty obvious that the millenial women in MAFS have been doing that -and/or eating out- almost exclusively. They may never have learned to cook anything "from scratch".

Yes, I agree. I do think that the whole women in their 30s not knowing how to cook thing is also cultural. In other parts of the world, (eastern Europe, for example) the majority of women by a certain age know how to roll up their sleeves and prepare a meal quickly and efficiently, often after a day of work. There was no women's rights movement to earn the right to work, women just managed doing both work and household chores/meal preparation and coped with it. It is not uncommon at a barbeque or house gathering for all of the female guests to get busy peeling, chopping, serving. 

It does seem wierd to me to see women in mid 30s not knowing how to chop vegetables. We have come a long way with modern conveniences that makes life easier, however, not without sacrifice of society at large. What I do like is seeing how the men on this show know their way in the kitchen. It is just as important for men to know how to prepare meals as women. 

[Koalagirl]

I'm confused as to the timing of when Unfiltered was taped.  Jamie is wearing the same outfit in all of the shows which makes me think they taped all shows the same day.  Every week they discuss the previous week's episode.  Does this mean it was taped at the end of the season after everything is over and the couples have to act as if they don't know what happened the rest of the season or the outcome?

[Lusterleaf]

11 minutes ago, Koalagirl said:

I'm confused as to the timing of when Unfiltered was taped.  Jamie is wearing the same outfit in all of the shows which makes me think they taped all shows the same day.  Every week they discuss the previous week's episode.  Does this mean it was taped at the end of the season after everything is over and the couples have to act as if they don't know what happened the rest of the season or the outcome?

Yes I think they do the Unfiltered taping all in one day so they already know what happens but probably have to fake it if it didn't end well...

[MV713]

15 minutes ago, Lusterleaf said:

Yes I think they do the Unfiltered taping all in one day so they already know what happens but probably have to fake it if it didn't end well...

and viewer questions?  No one has even seen the episode when they are taped - totally fake.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

51 minutes ago, MV713 said:

and viewer questions?  No one has even seen the episode when they are taped - totally fake.

Their so-called "viewer" questions are so boring and useless, whoever made them up can't be very smart.

[Remdiamond]

I used to think they filmed it all in one day but at least this season they haven’t. This time they have taped 2-3 days. After unfiltered was airing Jamie took a trip to film unfiltered and on her Instagram she showed that she was wearing same outfit for continuity I guess. Also Bobby had facial hair on his upper lip last week and he didn’t before. Also daves wedding band was missing and then wasn’t. 

[KateHearts]

3 hours ago, Koalagirl said:

I'm confused as to the timing of when Unfiltered was taped.  Jamie is wearing the same outfit in all of the shows which makes me think they taped all shows the same day.  Every week they discuss the previous week's episode.  Does this mean it was taped at the end of the season after everything is over and the couples have to act as if they don't know what happened the rest of the season or the outcome?

You would think it wouldn't be that hard to have Jamie change her clothes in between episodes so we can, as viewers at least, continue to believe in our little pea brains that some of this might be kind of real time.

One episode with Amber on it feels like it gives away the ending. She looked so irritated, over it and grim that you could tell she was over it; her feelings were still hurt over her "rating" (eyeroll) and, of course, Jamie kept nattering on about it like a fishwife.

[LilaFowler]

It is strange for them to film episodes like this after they have made their decisions. I also think that some participants' demeanor can be telling (like Amber). I guess Unfiltered gives Jamie something to do but the timing is all wrong. They need to just film after their decisions with each person individually (or something).

[Yeah No]

6 hours ago, KateHearts said:

One episode with Amber on it feels like it gives away the ending. She looked so irritated, over it and grim that you could tell she was over it; her feelings were still hurt over her "rating" (eyeroll) and, of course, Jamie kept nattering on about it like a fishwife.

Not to mention how Tristan almost broke out in tears in one early episode, then both he and Mia have been completely absent in the past few weeks.  As if that isn't a big giveaway.....

[scruffy73]

On 9/5/2018 at 6:02 PM, potatochips said:

Grammar police reporting in.....Not only do these adults lack basic cooking skills but they are driving me crazy with their toddler grammar skills. Mia repeatedly says, "Tristan and I's" and in the last episode where Danielle is excited to know her dog's DNA, she says "Henry and I's". I think these are educated people but they sure do not speak like it.?

I read a published novel that had “and I’s” in it. I should have stopped reading at that point but I’m a glutton for punishment.

 

on topic, I’m more reading your comments than watching bc I don’t like these people very much. Tristan needs to kick Mia to the curb. Amber needs to lighten up...and darken her hair. Dave needs to be more sensitive to Amber because she is a nutcase. I like Danielle and Bobby. They are super cute.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

3 hours ago, scruffy73 said:

on topic, I’m more reading your comments than watching bc I don’t like these people very much. Tristan needs to kick Mia to the curb. Amber needs to lighten up...and darken her hair. Dave needs to be more sensitive to Amber because she is a nutcase. I like Danielle and Bobby. They are super cute.

I'm sure that's why there hasn't been much "flaming" since this episode aired.

It really couldn't be more obvious that Dave and Amber are over, and just going through the motions for the cameras and the contract. I don't think Dave likes Amber at all --and I think she already realizes that, even if she hasn't admitted it and so she's passively back-floating down an Egyptial river (denial).

Tristan and Mia were doomed from the start. The only difference now is that I like Tristan a lot less than I used to.

Everyone is on board with Danielle and Bobby, but their wedded bliss is boring (which is why they're seldom "featured" on episodes these days).

Edited September 8, 2018 by Crazy Bird Lady

[HornetKick]

I really use to like this show until the discovery of some of the unnatural setups about the show. Giving the girls ratings was some bullshit from the show runners because that’s all women have to put up with, which is being judged by everyone. At one point the expert Preacher said the wives would see the ratings so the hubbies need to be honest, but it wasn’t like some type of breakdown for them to read later to see why they got their rating, the husbands told them anyway. Just fucking stupid IMO.

I even liked the addition of the couples hanging out because it was new and different and gave each couple additional support as to what they were going through (until they started talking). The bro-date and the girls hanging out asking each other about their respective relationships and sort of hating on Danielle because she and Bobby are doing well. D&B seem genuinely seem in love and it’s cute to watch them together because they really are thoughtful towards each other.

I even liked Amber and Dave (initially) but Dave is coming off more like an ass. The things he says to Amber make it seem like he doesn’t understand how women think (the hair color remark, the overpowering perfume dig). It was a lovely night and that dig he threw her way was just so unnecessary. It’s a scent, he would have gotten used to it according to the monkey-house-smell rules. Dave should have left Amber alone in the kitchen and she would have eventually figured everything out, found the pots, sprinkled out the spices, found the sink, made them both sick, etc. His being there made her even more fumbly, but couldn’t he have seen the effort she was making? I thought that was the whole point.

With that being said, I do believe they are doomed although they do look good together. Dave’s “tries-at-thoughtfulness” are not his. He doesn’t think of them on his own. He certainly doesn’t seem like the type to even think up ordering a horse/buggy to ride around in. That was so cute and terribly unexpected from someone like him, imo. I’m sure he would not have wanted to spend any extra money so the show producers gave him that cheapo idea. His thoughtfulness has been given to him to appear thoughtful and I’m just going by some of the comments he has made. Look at Bobby’s gift, his ideas were so much deeper and he made all his shit (0 dollars but 100% priceless). It doesn’t look to me like Dave does these things for Amber to make her feel good; it’s to make himself look good.

Amber’s insecurities come from trying to be another person for other people, specifically men. All she has to say to Dave is that I like being a blond and that is who you married. Instead of trying to justify how she should look for him and what she believes he is saying she needs to change for him. He is not very demonstrative so she is going to either have to ask him outright about how he feels or pick up his little cues that he finds her attractive, funny, and proud to wear her on his arm. It will become tiring for Dave if it hasn’t already that he has to keep telling her how off base she is about her insecurities.

And Fuuuuck, the awkward / goofy, happy-fake, god-believers Tristen and Mia disasters – I JUST CANNOT STAND THEM. (I did like the big face she gave Tristen though..it was so like him). The doughnut shit…well whatever. Mia can’t even move her lips when she kisses Tristen. It’s part of her manipulation to make him think he is getting something from her and they-are-so-in-love although she still can barely stomach being touched by him, other than the constant high-fiving, hand holding and hanging onto his upper arm (it’s part of her show). He was so desperate to kiss a part of her; he was kissing the top of her stupid head?? That just seemed so childish to me, not sweet as he intended. Annnnd I just can’t stand how stupid and happy Tristen always appears to be with his idiotic open-mouthed grin when just a second ago he was calling Mia out on her stupid lies and for opening her big mouth about the plans he has with her. Tristen stop putting your stupid head down at the table like a five year old; What are you going to do next..raise your hand to be called upon so you can talk???  Just tell Mia’s sister to shut her pie hole since it’s not any of her business, AND she isn’t married to you. Grow a pair dude…shit!

Edited September 9, 2018 by HornetKick

[Lion18]

On 9/4/2018 at 10:36 PM, Meowwww said:

Right??

I truly didn’t know 30 something’s didn’t know how to cook simple things.  It doesn’t even take imagination!

My 19 year old daughter and 30 year old son can cook anything and use proper hygiene. Maybe it depends on if their mom taught them.  I teach my daughter a new recipe every chance I get. 

My son eats very healthy so he prefers to cook his own meals. 

[Ilovepie]

8 hours ago, Lion18 said:

Maybe it depends on if their mom taught them.  

Or if they had any natural desire to learn. I spent most of my childhood with grandmothers who cooked all the time and who would have taught me if I cared, but I didn’t. I only really put an effort into learning when I had kids. I am a competent, smart woman who is a Controller, and I manage the accounting department where I work. I am not stupid, but mt idiocy with food stretches back to childhood. When I was 10 I ruined a toaster putting a peanut butter sandwich in it bc I wanted a toasted peanut butter sandwich. I put the peanut butter on first. In college I burned water. I put a non-whistling kettle on to make tea and left it for over an hour. When I came back the water was gone and the kettle was melted on to the burner (we did not get our deposit back that year). Post college, when I was close to Danielle’s age, I made a cobbler, put it in a large Tupperware bowl, and put it in the oven. My reasoning was that if you could microwave Tupperware it could go in the oven, right? It’s amazing we didn’t die from the plastic fumes when it started to melt. I did this at my current husband’s (then boyfriend’s) apartment. He still married me! All of this is to say, not everyone likes to cook, and it’s pretty easy to get by without doing it when you’re single. I don’t judge these women bc they don’t like to cook and are not good at it. The two that have made an issue of it I don’t know why bc they are both married to men who enjoy it and are good at it. Let the husbands do it and pick up the slack elsewhere - play to your strengths - it’s 2018 not 1918!

[Yeah No]

4 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

Or if they had any natural desire to learn. I spent most of my childhood with grandmothers who cooked all the time and who would have taught me if I cared, but I didn’t. I only really put an effort into learning when I had kids. I am a competent, smart woman who is a Controller, and I manage the accounting department where I work. I am not stupid, but mt idiocy with food stretches back to childhood. When I was 10 I ruined a toaster putting a peanut butter sandwich in it bc I wanted a toasted peanut butter sandwich. I put the peanut butter on first. In college I burned water. I put a non-whistling kettle on to make tea and left it for over an hour. When I came back the water was gone and the kettle was melted on to the burner (we did not get our deposit back that year). Post college, when I was close to Danielle’s age, I made a cobbler, put it in a large Tupperware bowl, and put it in the oven. My reasoning was that if you could microwave Tupperware it could go in the oven, right? It’s amazing we didn’t die from the plastic fumes when it started to melt. I did this at my current husband’s (then boyfriend’s) apartment. He still married me! All of this is to say, not everyone likes to cook, and it’s pretty easy to get by without doing it when you’re single. I don’t judge these women bc they don’t like to cook and are not good at it. The two that have made an issue of it I don’t know why bc they are both married to men who enjoy it and are good at it. Let the husbands do it and pick up the slack elsewhere - play to your strengths - it’s 2018 not 1918!

I tell people I inherited "the cooking gene" because I definitely feel that there is something innate about such talents.  My husband is the best example of this - He came from a family of not-so-great cooks who were not foodies and had a very limited repertoire.  He was not taught anything about cooking nor did he ever enter a kitchen to make anything more involved than a basic sandwich.  He did, however, watch a few cooking shows in his youth (there were only a few on back then) for entertainment only.  Fast forward to when he met me - I must have ignited something in him because he suddenly knew how to cook.  Once out of nowhere back in the '80s he insisted on making Thanksgiving dinner.  My mother and I were shocked and amused and let him do it.  I stayed FAR away from the kitchen at his request.  Well, his turkey came out golden brown and tasted phenomenal!  He even decorated the platter with cranberries, LOL.  And this was BEFORE the internet and the Food Network!  He didn't stop there but continued on to do some amazing things in the kitchen, all without much if any instruction.  I have to admit that my story is similar, but I think some of my ability seeped in "by osmosis" from being around good cooks in my family all my life.  My husband didn't have that experience.  So that's proof of his raw talent right there.

That said, we don't know what Amber's family history is like.  She may come from a family of good cooks but just doesn't have the raw talent or desire to cook.   It looks to me like Dave likes to cook, judging from the way his kitchen looks, so at least one of them knows how.  I cook most of the time because I'm not working right now and my husband runs his own small business and is busy a lot.  For a while it was the other way around and he did most of the cooking.  Who cares who does the cooking?  Whatever works!

Edited September 10, 2018 by Yeah No

[HornetKick]

Usually men care who does the cooking, that whole it's a woman's job mentality, especially if they are bringing home a lot of bacon.

I did know a coworker once whose husband was the stay at home portion and she loved having her meals ready for her when she got home and they have two kids. Role reversals for sure, but she went out of her way to make the bacon and lots of it.