S05.E06: Week 4: Part 1

[AllyCat]

Just now, adhoc said:

I don't know why it is, but Kevin kind of reminds me of The Reverend Jim on the old TV show Taxi. Sure, he's younger and brawnier, and doesn't really exactly look like Christopher Lloyd, but still. I think it's the contorted facial expression he sometimes does.

Kevin is a budget Tom Brady.

[Mu Shu]

Is Leo wearing space buns? Fucking idiot

7 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

Kevin's in therapy? Well, good for him.  But I guess hooking up with Ashley I will do that to a guy. I think I kinda like Kevin now. Not crazy about his choice in women though.

I went to school with a guy named Smelly.

Stinky was my roommate.

checkmate.

[Armchair Critic]

Jordan to Jenna - "I think I could fall for you, like within days".... in other words long enough to keep us both on the show

[Stan39]

1 minute ago, Armchair Critic said:

Jordan to Jenna - "I think I could fall for you, like within days".... in other words long enough to keep us both on the show

Correction, long enough for her to give him a rose so HE can stay on the show. 

[Armchair Critic]

Benoit gets dumped by another overly dramatic blonde

[CindyBee]

I actually understand why Jenna dumped Benoit.  Or at least I think I do

[saber5055]

Benoit for The Bachelor. Finally, a Bach who wears glasses and the girls can carry him around on dates.

[Mu Shu]

Now that the luckluster Jubilee got dumped by the even more lackluster John, can we safely assume they won’t be back?  God, they drag along the most boring ass people.  That includes Stinky, Analiese, and Chelsea.  

[saber5055]

9 minutes ago, Mu Shu said:

Stinky was my roommate.

Checkmate, yes. At least that's a WAS your roommate.

[Mu Shu]

1 minute ago, CindyBee said:

I actually understand why Jenna dumped Benoit.  Or at least I think I do

Could it be how he grabs her face and head?  That pisses me off.

[b2H]

What a bunch of whingers.  No one’s happy, except me.  No Tia/Colton.

[saber5055]

Leo has demon eyes.

[Armchair Critic]

At least Kevin was the one who told Kendall about Leo, better coming from him than Joe. Kevin seems like a nice guy and would be cute but I can't get past his mouth/teeth.

[TiredMe]

Kendall craves Leo? It’s called lust girl. We are connecting blah blah blah...eye roll. 

[Armchair Critic]

Now I can't stop seeing Dennis the Menace when I look at Jordan. Though he would probably be most my type, I usually like the troublemakers.

[CindyBee]

Yay for Kevin to stir things up!!  And make Leo look even more like a complete idiot

[saber5055]

So Leo's okay with macking on multiple women yet it's not okay to tell the women he's doing that. Alrighty then.

Now Colton is getting the THs as the brains of this outfit.

[Stan39]

Wow. This video is going to go over great in Leo’s sexual harrassment cases. 

[tennisgurl]

God Leo is like a creepier version of every boy I hated in middle school. What a creep, Kevin was right to tell Kendal what was up. 

[saber5055]

Leo just said the most hilarious line: "Karma's a bitch, man." Yeah, that karma's getting you good, isn't it, it even got you fired from your job you jackass dickwad.

[Mu Shu]

Kendall isn’t anywhere as clever or deep as she thinks she is.  Spoiled sheltered kid.

[tennisgurl]

Just now, Stan39 said:

Wow. This video is going to go over great in Leo’s sexual harrassment cases. 

I can already see the prosecution recording his "a kiss is like a handshake in paradise" comment. 

[Ms Blue Jay]

1 hour ago, CindyBee said:

Wait 10 second of Venmo John breaking up with Jubilee but we got HOURS of the stupid Colton and Tia storyline?!?

What the hell was that?  Seriously?  My God!!  WHy!!!!!!?!!??!?!

I thought I've met desperate woman before.  But even the most desperate women I've met in my life had limits and have said no to people.  #Annalise 

Annalise (pretending to be devastated):  I'll never meet anyone like Kenny
Annalise (60-40 seconds later):  I'd like to go on a date with you, 60/40 guy, if you asked.  Whoever you are.  It doesn't matter

(Oh my god I'm really behind in the episode AND SHE'S NOW ADMITTING THAT SHE DOESN'T KNOW HIS NAME!!!!!!!!  I thought I was exaggerating for comedy)

Edited August 28, 2018 by Ms Blue Jay

[Stan39]

“A snitch needs to be put in his place!” 

And what about a guy who lies to people, makes out with multiple women at a time, and is super creepy and aggressive around women. 

[tennisgurl]

God Leo is the fucking worst. And Kevin seems like a really stand up guy. 

[Ms Blue Jay]

Annalise:  It's been so long since I've been able to convince an unsuspecting man that I'm a normal human being with taste and standards (i.e. an hour or two)

[TiredMe]

Omg Leo is gaslighting Kendall. It’s her fault he feels bad? Gees this guy

[saber5055]

Leo = The Self-Proclaimed Sheriff of Paradise. He just got there but he knows all the rules. Here's a cheer/toast to Leo being convicted in his sexual assault case. Some of this BIP hot-head video will be great in court to show what a "great guy" he is. NOT.

[CindyBee]

Love Kevin, teeth and all.   Glad he had the guts to stand up to Leo

[Mu Shu]

God what a couple of manipulators.

[saber5055]

2 minutes ago, tennisgurl said:

God Leo is the fucking worst. And Kevin seems like a really stand up guy. 

So much YES to all of the above. A zillion times YES to both.

[Kendra143]

Storms rolling through here so every time it gets interesting DISH loses signal. Leo was just berating Kendall and bang no signal ?? is this where Joe jumps in to take him out??? 

[CindyBee]

Didn't think it was possible but Leo actually made Chris seem like a great option. 

[saber5055]

2 minutes ago, Kendra143 said:

Storms rolling through here so every time it gets interesting DISH loses signal. Leo was just berating Kendall and bang no signal ?? is this where Joe jumps in to take him out??? 

Tune in tomorrow night to find out. Previews promise a big blow out. Which means probably nothing happens.

[JenE4]

Show has gotten me feeling sorry for Jordan watching Jenna make out with Benoit. That aqua shirt is making his eyes pop, and this is the first time I can see the model looks.

Go, Crystal, go! “The Goose is on the loose!” Um, guys, Crystal and Connor are being buried alive in the Mexican jungle. Now Connor is a werewolf?? Now they’re doing the ol’ Ben Flajnik and Courtney in the ocean. So much for going on the date “as friends.”

Jordan won Jenna back over pretty quickly. The cheese is moving all over the place in Paradise! Jenna tells Benoit, “I’m not kissing anyone again—except one more time.” And now this extended make out. Can’t keep track of the cheese! Jordan needs to take this up with Jenna, not Benoit.

Annaliese gets her heart broken again, but Kenny’s heart is with his daughter, as it should be. For the First Time in Bachelor History, a contestant puts their child first.

Chris pulls a Jordan and waits up all night for Crystal and Connor to return from their date. “Keep being myself” is not a good strategy for someone who calls himself Goose.

Wait did they just say that Jubilee and/or John went home? How does this break up not get more than a footnote?!? They were my favorite couple! Boo to the producers/editors! This is all we get of their journey?! 

Now Crystal wants to move onto 60/40?!? You got enough guys already. Pass him onto poor Annaliese. Oh, nevermind, Annaliese is back to her crazy desperate self. She got over Kenny real fast. That bridge?! Oh, hell no! 

Nobody wants whatsherface. I guess you’re right. Nobody notices you in Paradise, girl whose name starts with a C, I think.

Annaliese already thinks she’s one of the strongest couples with 60/40?! Granted, it’s a frankenbyte.

Kevin REALLY wants Astrid to go on another date SUPPOSEDLY for the competition but really because every girl in a couple who goes on a date ends up leaving her “boyfriend” for the new guy. Oh, nevermind, Kevin is just damaged from his former Bachelorette/Winter Games experience that requires therapy TWICE A WEEK. Oh, boy, this better work out, or his therapist better have another opening.

Now they’re showing a clip from the previous day with Jordan back in his aqua shirt, Jenna in her striped suit, and Crystal in her red scarf. Why did they make it seem like Jordan confronted Benoit at night before this?! It was the same day she was going back and forth between them. Slightly less sunny so it might be before/after the frisbee game, which was the height of the day. This must be the morning after the date the way Jordan is talking. Yep, getting coffee. This is the MORNING before the make out and the frisbee game with Benoit. Jordan tells her he’s falling in love with her BEFORE all that. Now they’re all in DIFFERENT OUTFITS AGAIN when she “immediately” goes to break up with Benoit. So this is the day after all that, I suppose—presumably after Jordan then “talked” to Benoit at night, and Jenna realized she had to choose.

Benoit is playing an aggressive game of catch with the ocean. Take THAT!

Isn’t Kendall still going back and forth between Leo and Joe?!

Now Leo is doing some aggressive swimming! Get ready for a splash fight!!

You were NOT going to tell Kendall, Leo!! And just like that, Kendall is back to snuggling with Joe on the hammock. Leo thinks Kendall will think about their date forever. Kendall ruined HIS day?!? She didn’t even talk to him before now?!? How is it HER fault that HE kissed someone else but she found out about it?!?! What?!? This is Goose logic. These guys are LOSERS!! Hooray for Kevin!

Now Chris is in on Eric’s “Who Moved My Cheese?” Now the Goose is also a goat?! Colton, no one likes cottage cheese—at least not since the 80s when my mom used to eat it on her diets. And yet, you’re right that it’s the perfect cheese to describe you, Colton: bland and barely palatable.

Edited August 28, 2018 by JenE4

[leighdear]

Well it's a guarantee that Kendall WILL remember every moment of her date with Leo now that the entire world knows he's a desperate, perverted creep. 

[tennisgurl]

I cant believe I am saying this, but Chris is no longer the biggest ass in Paradise! Make way for Leo, coming to several watch lists near you!

[saber5055]

Just now, CindyBee said:

Didn't think it was possible but Leo actually made Chris seem like a great option. 

They both make celibacy a great option IMO.

[jette]

Nope, Kendra143, as others have said more quickly than I, that's tomorrow lol

 

So disappointing. Everyone's brain is melting in Mexico. They're all acting as fools.

Edited August 28, 2018 by jette
Clarity

[Mu Shu]

I think Kendall is a fucking selfish asshole with zero intuition.  Take your piggy eyed prize Princess.  It was all good when you wanted to explore.  Truculent little hypocrite.  

[ECM1231]

Who is the brunette in preview for tomorrow who has turned Eric's head?

[tennisgurl]

I am quite enjoying watching Bachelor Nation on Twitter totally losing it over what a dickhead Leo is. Its been awhile since I saw so many giffs of Jean Ralphio saying "The Wooooooooorst" followed by Leo`s picture. 

[adhoc]

Geez, Tia and Colton's relationship issues were annoying in a pedestrian, high-school kind of way, but Kendall and Leo? They're take annoying to a whole new and obnoxious level. AFAIC, they can both take their self-important asses right out of Paradise.

Who comes out looking good in all this? Kevin. I had no idea he was that perceptive, until I started hearing the responses he gave to Leo's BS. Reality Steve says that Kevin is a fame whore, and perhaps he is, but in this situation, I think he was right on the money.

Edited August 28, 2018 by adhoc

[Kiss my mutt]

Yes, total gaslighting going on with Leo. Trying to fuck with Kendall’s mind, yet she still would have taken him back if he backpaddled at all. Serious anger management issues with him. I don’t think it’s a big deal he kissed Chelsea because that’s part of the process but how he handled it was disgusting. 

I’m sick of that black bar! Just show the booty.  So annoying. 

I missed the first hour or so but Jubilee quit and wasn’t sent home? John is so prissy. He totally missed out. Ready for him to go now, plus no one else likes him and his squeaky voice. 

Piano recitals are often planned way in advance.  It doesn’t seem legit that this was a surprise. Something else is definitely afoot.  

I really wish Joe would get over Kendall instead of being her sloppy seconds, “he’ll do” kind of guy. 

So tomorrow do they eliminate the girls or the guys? I’m kind of lost. This is the first season I’ve ever watched!

[Mu Shu]

6 minutes ago, adhoc said:

Geez, Tia and Colton's relationship issues were annoying in a pedestrian, high-school kind of way, but Kendall and Leo? They're take annoying to a whole new and obnoxious level. AFAIC, they can both take their self-important asses right out of Paradise.

Who comes out looking good in all this? Kevin. I had no idea he was that perceptive, until I started hearing the responses he gave to Leo's BS. Reality Steve says that Kevin is a fame whore, and perhaps he is, but in this situation, I think he was right on the money.

Kendall looks as bad as Leo to me.  He’s just doing what she’s doing, stringing someone alone and exploring options.  Yeah he’s disgusting, but she picked that disgusting to mark her territory on.

[chocolatine]

1 hour ago, leighdear said:

So my cynical brain is saying that if Kenny had hooked up with somebody more attractive, confident and self possessed than Analiese, he would have conveniently been able to miss that recital.  He knew it was happening, but it was a nice excuse to bolt if he wanted one. 

My brain will go one step further and say Kenny made up the recital, or at least the timing of it. Daughter-related events are probably his version of "something bad happened" from SATC.

It's scary how un-self-aware (self-unaware?) Leo is in his creepiness. I think he kept himself in check on The Bachelorette, but the 15 minutes of fame went to his head, and now he's just letting everyone see what a pig he is.

[CindyBee]

6 minutes ago, Kiss my mutt said:

So tomorrow do they eliminate the girls or the guys? I’m kind of lost. This is the first season I’ve ever watched!

Guys are going home as its the girls turn to give out roses.   

[dbell1]

Thank you editors for ZERO words from Tia this week. I actually watched the entire show.

However, the edits are jarring. They spent so much time on Dolton and gf that we're seeing stuff spliced together. Jenna's bathing suit was a clear example of editing gone wrong.

Annalise is just so flipping desperate. And I'm shocked she drove the atv over that bridge. Guess there wasn't a traumatic bridge incident in her past?

Leo has clearly never been called out on his shit before. Maybe because most women see unwanted junk pics from him and never meet him without cops and lawyers present? I'd be more impressed with Kendall staying calm if she hadn't been bouncing between scrum and Joe for days.

Jenna, nice choice. Did you finally realize that Benoit loves to be engaged but doesn't stay that way? She's looking more haggard as the days go by. Didn't anyone bring deep conditioner? 

Edited August 28, 2018 by dbell1

[Ms Blue Jay]

Kevin is Canadian, and he is awesome.  Great episode for Kevin.  What a cool guy and a cool man.  Sorry, I am really corny at compliments.  It's a Canadian thing.

It was so funny when Chelsea was like "Should I step in here?" and you heard a bunch of guys say "Nonononononononono."

[Fable]

10 minutes ago, Mu Shu said:

Kendall looks as bad as Leo to me.  He’s just doing what she’s doing, stringing someone alone and exploring options.  Yeah he’s disgusting, but she picked that disgusting to mark her territory on.

Leo and Kendall are both unlikeable.  Leo isn’t coming off well by virtue of being so cocky, but damn, Kendall certainly seems entitled.  She hasn’t made a decision between Joe and Leo, yet she thinks Leo is out of bounds pursuing options while she makes up her mind.  And, Leo isn’t wrong, everyone is kissing everyone.