Catelynn (and Tyler)

[ghoulina]

46 minutes ago, Katt said:

I think if Catelynn is admitting to smoking weed twice a day, it's more than that. I also don't have a problem with it as long as you're still managing to be productive. 

Right. Some moms have a glass of wine in the afternoon/evening. A lot of dads will have a beer or a scotch after work. Many people are perfectly capable of imbibing a bit and still being functional. I'm not sure that's the case with Catelynn. She only JUST now admitted to the pot smoking. I understand why, due to the legal battles over the past few years. But I would also wager it's more than she's saying. She's using it to numb her pain. But beyond that, Drew said that pot will counteract the effects of her medication. That, right there, is the #1 reason she needs to stop. She HAS to get herself functioning, she has a daughter. She cannot lay around in bed, pulling the covers over her head, while Tyler is away and Nova plays alone in her crib. I do sympathize with her having depression. I know just how hopeless and helpless that can feel. But she has to take concrete steps toward getting better. She needs to ditch the pot, eat better (that will effect mood as well), take her meds, see a therapist 1-2 times weekly (and NOT Tyler's therapist, who allows cameras), and tell Tyler to STFU once in awhile. 

(I doubt the latter will ever happen, but one can dream, right?)

[EmeraldGirl]

Well, that waist trainer pic was last May, and she certainly doesn't look like that this season. Did Tyler climb on a ladder to take that picture? We all know the trick of putting the phone up to take more flattering pics, but damn - Tyler just about got on the roof.  

[geekamonggeeks]

4 hours ago, ktwo said:

This is from pretty far back but I am just catching up after the season premiere. I actually disagree that the adoption plan was the only reason they were picked for 16 & Pregnant. Yes, MTV probably wanted at least one mom who was planning to place her baby for adoption, but I think some of the other details in Catelynn & Tyler's story - most notably that their parents were married to each other - were enough to get them picked for 16&P even without the adoption plan.

I'm pretty sure they said in their book that they were asked to be on the show because the producers wanted to feature at least one adoption story. True, there are other aspects of their story that were chaotic and compelling, but they initially only got onto "16 and Pregnant" because they were giving Carly up. I think they discussed it in their awful memoir. 

Edited August 24, 2016 by geekamonggeeks

[MissMel]

Definitely not trying to start a debate about weed here, I'd just like to point out some people do focus and function better with it. If the pills aren't working for her maybe it's because the meds are interfering with the pot.  That's also a possibility. 

I think these two would have been picked for the show for all the reasons listed. It sure seems like Tyler is full of shit too. He might have left if Cate kept Carly but his ass would have come right back for the cameras. The only thing he cares about more than himself is this show. It sure seems like all the rough parts go right back to one thing. Tyler. He's the common denominator in all her struggles from what I can see. He keeps pulling her back from every little bit of progress she makes. Maybe it's not her, it's him. 

[geekamonggeeks]

1 hour ago, MissMel said:

Definitely not trying to start a debate about weed here, I'd just like to point out some people do focus and function better with it. If the pills aren't working for her maybe it's because the meds are interfering with the pot.  That's also a possibility. 

I think these two would have been picked for the show for all the reasons listed. It sure seems like Tyler is full of shit too. He might have left if Cate kept Carly but his ass would have come right back for the cameras. The only thing he cares about more than himself is this show. It sure seems like all the rough parts go right back to one thing. Tyler. He's the common denominator in all her struggles from what I can see. He keeps pulling her back from every little bit of progress she makes. Maybe it's not her, it's him. 

I definitely agree that Tyler plays a major role in Cate's depression and anxiety. She's always walking on broken glass around him, like she's terrified that he'll start berating her at any moment. Ever since he briefly broke up with her over that text message BS a few years back, she's desperate to appease him and keep him happy as long as it means he won't leave her. The sad thing is, I think Cate will put up with Tyler's crap as long as he'll stay with her in the end. She'll always justify his horrible treatment of her. She even defended his heifer comment on twitter, claiming it was okay because they've been together for a decade and that sort of stuff is to be expected from couples who've been together for so long. She'll literally say whatever it takes to keep Tyler happy even at her own expense. I also think she stays with him to justify giving Carly up. Cate admitted that she ultimately placed Carly so that she wouldn't end up a single mother; if she and Tyler ever broke up, then Cate might think she gave Carly up for nothing. 

As for the weed stuff, I think Cate would do best if she quit smoking it for now. She just learned that it counteracts her antidepressents and I think---since she's already unmotivated and depressed---smoking weed several times a day could make her even more unmotivated and depressed. Just my two cents. 

Edited to add: MTV.com just posted a sneak peek of Sunday's episode and Tyler once again is having issues with Brandon and Teresa. This time, he's saying that he'll totally risk his relationship with Carly so he can talk about the adoption on camera and other things B&T have asked him not to discuss publicly. Catelynn is near tears and reminds Tyler that she'll be affected, too, if B&T decide to cut Tyler out completely. Does he care? No, he just says, "I'm not being selfish." What a douche. At this point, it almost seems like he's deliberately trying to sabotage his relationship with Brandon and Teresa. I'm not sure why. Maybe so he can look like a martyr for ~birth parents' rights~? Or maybe he doesn't want to deal with them anymore and is trying to end contact in a way that makes him look like the victim? I have no idea how this little weasel's mind works. 

Edited August 24, 2016 by geekamonggeeks

[jadecorleone]

1 hour ago, geekamonggeeks said:

I definitely agree that Tyler plays a major role in Cate's depression and anxiety. She's always walking on broken glass around him, like she's terrified that he'll start berating her at any moment. Ever since he briefly broke up with her over that text message BS a few years back, she's desperate to appease him and keep him happy as long as it means he won't leave her. The sad thing is, I think Cate will put up with Tyler's crap as long as he'll stay with her in the end. She'll always justify his horrible treatment of her. She even defended his heifer comment on twitter, claiming it was okay because they've been together for a decade and that sort of stuff is to be expected from couples who've been together for so long. She'll literally say whatever it takes to keep Tyler happy even at her own expense. I also think she stays with him to justify giving Carly up. Cate admitted that she ultimately placed Carly so that she wouldn't end up a single mother; if she and Tyler ever broke up, then Cate might think she gave Carly up for nothing. 

As for the weed stuff, I think Cate would do best if she quit smoking it for now. She just learned that it counteracts her antidepressents and I think---since she's already unmotivated and depressed---smoking weed several times a day could make her even more unmotivated and depressed. Just my two cents. 

Edited to add: MTV.com just posted a sneak peek of Sunday's episode and Tyler once again is having issues with Brandon and Teresa. This time, he's saying that he'll totally risk his relationship with Carly so he can talk about the adoption on camera and other things B&T have asked him not to discuss publicly. Catelynn is near tears and reminds Tyler that she'll be affected, too, if B&T decide to cut Tyler out completely. Does he care? No, he just says, "I'm not being selfish." What a douche. At this point, it almost seems like he's deliberately trying to sabotage his relationship with Brandon and Teresa. I'm not sure why. Maybe so he can look like a martyr for ~birth parents' rights~? Or maybe he doesn't want to deal with them anymore and is trying to end contact in a way that makes him look like the victim? I have no idea how this little weasel's mind works. 

And when that happens, I bet he will find a way to make it someone elses fault. I honestly think the only reason they keep it open is that B&T are (or seem to be) fond of Catelynn. As far as I can tell she at least attempts to respect their wishes. Between the two I think she is the only one that realizes how lucky they are to have contact like they do. Many are told it will be open and end up not hearing from them ever again.

[lilmarysunshine]

I used to like Catelynn but I think she's just exhausted my patience.  I think she's had a rough life and I feel bad for that but she just makes the dumbest decisions.  So I'm overweight and a pot smoker and so depressed .... lets have a lot of kids! 

And she didn't "just" have a baby. The kid is walking, right?  How old is Nova now?  I understand. I'm still carrying around too much weight from my 3rd and he's 11. lol    (And I'm also pushing 50, though.) 

She needs to start by getting off the damn TV shows. 

Tyler is so going to leave her.

[GreatKazu]

Catelynn has learned to deal with the worst of the worst kind of people. She has had to deal with April being a full blown bitch to her, she has had to deal with April calling her names, the alcohol and drug use she has been exposed to, so much abuse in various ways. Then, there are the boyfriend's of April and of course, Butch who have treated Catelynn like total shit. That girl has endured abuse from many people. To then be married to a guy whom she herself admitted on camera has a volatile temper and viewers would be surprised to know that about him,  Catelynn has clearly stuck with what she knows: dysfunction. She is like Jenelle in that they both are repeating the cycle by choosing partners who treat them poorly and want to secure those bastards by their side by bringing babies into the mix. 

@lilmarysunshine agree. 

[Katt]

Butch was an utter bastard to Catelynn in 16 & Pregnant and at least the first season of Teen Mom. If my husband's dad had treated me even 1% as badly, I'm pretty sure my husband would have made him shit teeth. He certainly would never be welcome to visit and definitely not live in our house after serving time for putting anybody's head through a wall, even if that person was an absolute shrew. No excuse for his disgusting behaviour and Tyler is NOT the only one that ever suffered from the presence/absence of Butch. 
Dysfunctional, indeed, Great Kazu.

[eskimo]

If Tyler sabotages his and Cate's relationship with B&T, I hope Cate feels rage towards Tyler rather than pity for herself.  And I hope she expresses that rage in a way that makes Tyler fear for his life (figuratively, not really).  Then I hope it snaps her back to life and she goes for what is healthy for her and Nova physically, mentally and spiritually.  Then I hope Tyler balloons up to Gary size. 

[Katt]

Just wondering... Did Tyler even have to legally agree to Carly's adoption? Like, did he have to sign -or have an adult sign- any paperwork or could Catelynn have made the decision without him?

[mamadrama]

1 hour ago, eskimo said:

If Tyler sabotages his and Cate's relationship with B&T, I hope Cate feels rage towards Tyler rather than pity for herself.  And I hope she expresses that rage in a way that makes Tyler fear for his life (figuratively, not really).  Then I hope it snaps her back to life and she goes for what is healthy for her and Nova physically, mentally and spiritually.  Then I hope Tyler balloons up to Gary size. 

Amen to all of this. 

I've been thinking about Cate and Tyler sending Nova to spend several days with her grandparents during the week. My first thought was, "Damn! Why have a kid if you can't parent them yourself?"

However, after really thinking about the state of Cate's mental health, this might not be the worst decision in the world. Cate looks as though she can barely take care of herself. Nova might be better off out of the home. I know, I know...look where she's going. But until Cate finds something that is working for her and gets her more stable, I don't know that she needs to have full-time care of Nova. (I don't know how much Tyler actually does.) And, hell, maybe it IS just laziness, but I'd like to give her the benefit of the doubt. 

[Tatum]

7 hours ago, Katt said:

Just wondering... Did Tyler even have to legally agree to Carly's adoption? Like, did he have to sign -or have an adult sign- any paperwork or could Catelynn have made the decision without him?

I believe both parents have to sign. I remember a story like 20 years ago where the bio dad came back in the picture years after the birth mom had given their bio daughter up for adoption and he got custody of the girl even though she had been living with her adoptive parents for years. But that was in the early 90s- maybe laws have changed? It might also vary by state.

 

But from what I understand, both bio parents have to sign something. If one of them is out of the picture and can't be reached to sign, I believe there has to be a documented legal procedure that shows every viable attempt was made to contact the bio parent. But again, that is based on a few stories from the 90s.

[ghoulina]

21 hours ago, Katt said:

 

Sorry, can't get rid of this quote box!

I think if Tyler ruins their relationship with B&T, Cate will still put up with him. She will simply eat her feelings, both literally and figuratively. She will swallow it all down and live in a stew of bitterness and resentment. Girl has zero self worth; she is never going to strike out on her own. She is terrified of losing him and she may speak up a little bit from time to time, but then she always reverts to Tyler "knowing best" and appeasing him. 

I honestly have not seen anything that makes me think she will ever change, unless she gets legitimate, Tyler-free therapy. Right now, she's still in the same trap she's always been.

[Tatum]

14 hours ago, geekamonggeeks said:

 

Edited to add: MTV.com just posted a sneak peek of Sunday's episode and Tyler once again is having issues with Brandon and Teresa. This time, he's saying that he'll totally risk his relationship with Carly so he can talk about the adoption on camera and other things B&T have asked him not to discuss publicly. Catelynn is near tears and reminds Tyler that she'll be affected, too, if B&T decide to cut Tyler out completely. Does he care? No, he just says, "I'm not being selfish." What a douche. At this point, it almost seems like he's deliberately trying to sabotage his relationship with Brandon and Teresa. I'm not sure why. Maybe so he can look like a martyr for ~birth parents' rights~? Or maybe he doesn't want to deal with them anymore and is trying to end contact in a way that makes him look like the victim? I have no idea how this little weasel's mind works. 

I don't think Tyler gives a shit whether or not B&T close the adoption. He cares about getting likes on his social media pages. If B&T cut ties because of what he posts, then he just has another thing to bitch about on social media. He doesn't care about having a good relationship with Carly at all.

[Uncle JUICE]

I've thought for a very long time now that their open adoption arrangement was simply an awful idea for both of these kids. It's like they always thought that those people were babysitting their kid full time. I guess some people might be equipped to handle that arrangement (I don't think that number's very high), but these two definitely are not. That adoption should have been closed, because even now, they haven't moved on with their lives. Didn't they used to have a gigantic tapestry with that baby's face on it? That's just not healthy. I'm in no way a supporter of open adoptions. If a birth parent wants to connect with their biological child someday, they should remain in touch with whatever adoption agency handled it so that if the CHILD wants to meet them, they can call the agency (maybe this is how it works today, I don't know), but keeping in touch constantly seems like no one wins in the end. 

[Brooklynista]

8 hours ago, Katt said:

Butch was an utter bastard to Catelynn in 16 & Pregnant and at least the first season of Teen Mom. If my husband's dad had treated me even 1% as badly, I'm pretty sure my husband would have made him shit teeth. He certainly would never be welcome to visit and definitely not live in our house after serving time for putting anybody's head through a wall, even if that person was an absolute shrew. No excuse for his disgusting behaviour and Tyler is NOT the only one that ever suffered from the presence/absence of Butch. 
Dysfunctional, indeed, Great Kazu.

What's even worse to me is now Catelynn supports these people. Butch and April berated her constantly and told her she wasn't shit for giving up Carly. She now has to provide homes and cars and boob jobs to her abusers. I can't remember any scenes where Butch really went after Tyler, but he had the safety of escaping to Kim's house. Cate had to keep sweet and spend all of her days walking on eggshells to avoid any wrath coming at her in two directions. I'm sure neither April or Butch apologized  (half assed) until they saw this Teen Mom thing was really gonna bring in some bucks.

And now she still has Tyler making her dance for nibbles of affection. She has to know he wouldn't be with her "heifer" ass if it weren't for his paycheck.

[Darknight]

7 hours ago, Katt said:

Just wondering... Did Tyler even have to legally agree to Carly's adoption? Like, did he have to sign -or have an adult sign- any paperwork or could Catelynn have made the decision without him?

Yes. Birth fathers have rights too

A lot of open adoptions closed within 5 years. They're lucky it didn't close yet.

[Darknight]

On Monday, August 22, 2016 at 0:38 PM, poeticlicensed said:

I just read that Tyler is "in therapy" for making  comments on Cate's weight. I didn't realize that there was a therapy available for being a douchebag. 

Please let the therapist tell him he's an asshole 

[Darknight]

These two idiots shouldn't have more kids. Why does C&T get a pass? They're jobless uneducated and not doing shit with their life.

[Tatum]

1 hour ago, Brooklynista said:

I can't remember any scenes where Butch really went after Tyler, but he had the safety of escaping to Kim's house.

I remember Butch told Tyler he didn't "man up" by keeping Carly.

 

Oh Butch- the guy that beats the mother of his children and leaves said children while he's incarcerated for years- please give other men advice on how to "man up" when being a father. Asshole.

[mamadrama]

1 hour ago, Tatum said:

I don't think Tyler gives a shit whether or not B&T close the adoption. He cares about getting likes on his social media pages. If B&T cut ties because of what he posts, then he just has another thing to bitch about on social media. He doesn't care about having a good relationship with Carly at all.

He uses Carly for attention. A fight with B&T equals MORE attention for him. He doesn't care about the actual relationship because Carly is just a theoretical concept to him. Hell, they have both talked about her so much, with actual little interaction, that they've almost created this mythology of her. The actual REAL Carly is as elusive to them as a unicorn. And you're right about the "likes." He will get sympathy by playing a martyr. He'll get to paint them as bad guys while HE gets to appear as the grieving "father" who just wants to proudly share pictures of his "daughter". His fans will eat it up. Catelynn, however, will just eat. 

[geekamonggeeks]

6 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

He uses Carly for attention. A fight with B&T equals MORE attention for him. He doesn't care about the actual relationship because Carly is just a theoretical concept to him. Hell, they have both talked about her so much, with actual little interaction, that they've almost created this mythology of her. The actual REAL Carly is as elusive to them as a unicorn. And you're right about the "likes." He will get sympathy by playing a martyr. He'll get to paint them as bad guys while HE gets to appear as the grieving "father" who just wants to proudly share pictures of his "daughter". His fans will eat it up. Catelynn, however, will just eat. 

You're spot-on with the idea that Carly is a mythology to Cate and Ty. You can count the amount of times they've actually physically seen her on two hands. To them, she's the perfect child because they've had no hand in raising her or really have anything to do with her life. I think they think that they're these super-important figures in Carly's life when the truth is probably that she doesn't really think about them all that much until she receives gifts from them or meets with them. She knows C&T are her birth parents, she knows that Nova is her bio sister, and she clearly cares about them. But she's also seven, and she probably gets just as excited when B&T remind her to start writing her Christmas list for Santa Claus. This isn't to minimize C&T's decision to place Carly, but they (especially Tyler) seem to really overplay how much impact they have on her when she's still so young. 

Tyler once said that Carly would be a "sad little girl" if B&T decide to close the adoption. He thinks that Carly will be depressed if she stops seeing him and Cate. Chances are, she might be at first, but she might also just move on and not think about it so much because, again, she's seven. It sounds like B&T are equipped to deal with the possible emotional fall-out if they cut off contact with C&T, and help Carly understand why she's not seeing them anymore. I don't think it'll be too hard. They've already restricted so much contact. I think she'll be okay if she stops vising her birth parents for a few years. It'll also probably be for the best because who wants Tyler around their daughter, even if it's only for a few days a year, especially when he's so disrespectful and angry all the time? I sure wouldn't. 

[Uncle JUICE]

1 hour ago, Tatum said:

 

Oh Butch- the guy that beats the mother of his children and leaves said children while he's incarcerated for years- please give other men advice on how to "man up" when being a father. Asshole.

Don't forget he authored the text message that was somehow more awful than Adam's "tell me where I can sign the papers to get rid of that mistake ya fat stretch marked bitch." To Tyler:

"I do love you, but I just love cocaine more." It might not be exact words, but it's not far off.  Except now he's viewed as this irascible scamp. There's no fucking coming back from this text message in my book, I don't care how funny you are. In vino veritas, dickhead. 

[GreatKazu]

1 hour ago, Darknight said:

These two idiots shouldn't have more kids. Why does C&T get a pass? They're jobless uneducated and not doing shit with their life.

Word! I think of Amber who is also on meds, likely depressed, and needs to get away from Matt, she has no life, no job or goals.  I have lost my sympathy for her. 

Edited August 25, 2016 by GreatKazu

[evilmindatwork]

The worst part is that Tyler and Catelyn have the SAME therapist. Talk about a conflict of interest... She also occasionally seems serves as their marriage/relationship counselor. WTF? Is that even ethical? I understand that it's a small town and could be a scarcity of therapists, but neither of them have jobs, why can't they just drive a few towns over to get decent care?

Catelyn breaks my heart because she would absolutely be ok without Tyler, even thrive, but she doesn't KNOW that, she absolutely cannot know that because he was the one bright spot in her absolutely terrible life. She's a lovely, kind-hearted, pretty girl, drowning in food, depression, and scabs because she knows, she KNOWS this guy isn't good for her, but life hasn't equipped her to imagine a bigger future for herself. How can she know that Tyler doesn't love her the way she should be loved when it's the best type of love she's had? Her mother was abusive, all her step-fathers were abusives, sounds like her grandparents only gave her conditional love, and her father was not in her life. I absolutely believe that she and Tyler had the sweetest puppy love when they were teens, but the problem is that was the  ONLY love she's known. She desperately wants to go back to the pre-Carly pregnancy love but it's no longer there, and she knows it, but doesn't want to deal. 

I am also low energy person, with depression, so I get why it's so hard for her to get off the couch. It's really, really hard. If you're an insightful person, you probably know exactly what you need to do, but doing it takes every bit of strength and will that you can muster. After I split up with my ex- husband, it took every bit of inner strength and energy  I could muster to get out of bed, and go to my law school classes. Honestly, even going to sleep felt like a chore so sometimes I'd just stay up until 3:00 am, just because it was difficult to muster the energy to move from the couch to the bed. It was that awful.  

Once I actually got to classes I was fine, but leaving the house was literally the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. So, I did the bare minimum like went to class, went to work, walked my dog, but my house was a disaster (until I budgeted for a cleaner), and I gained almost 30 pounds, which I am STILL in the process of losing, but again gathering the energy to start a diet and exercise plan involved stopping-starting, failing, starting over etc. It's hard to be a doer with depression (my energetic friends don't understand it at all)-- even if you know exactly what you have to do. I think Catelynn can do it, but it may take a lot of time, and a lot of inner strength. First step would be to do ONE thing separately from Tyler, just one thing.  

Edited August 25, 2016 by evilmindatwork

[Brooklynista]

I know Tyler spends all of his time scouring the internet for anything new under his name, but I wonder if Catelynn does the same.  I'm sure if she sorted thru all of the Tyler love about him being the BEST HUSBAND EVAH she would come across the more thoughtful posts about how he really shits on her and she can do better for herself.  We see Tyler for what he really is.

Keep searching Cate.  You'll find us eventually.

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

14 hours ago, Katt said:

Butch was an utter bastard to Catelynn in 16 & Pregnant and at least the first season of Teen Mom. If my husband's dad had treated me even 1% as badly, I'm pretty sure my husband would have made him shit teeth. He certainly would never be welcome to visit and definitely not live in our house after serving time for putting anybody's head through a wall, even if that person was an absolute shrew. No excuse for his disgusting behaviour and Tyler is NOT the only one that ever suffered from the presence/absence of Butch. 
Dysfunctional, indeed, Great Kazu.

Truth. But these days (from the limited stuff we see on camera), I feel like the abusive person in the Tyler-Cate-Butch household is Tyler. If I had to live there and could kick one person out, I'd be putting Tyler out before (sober) Butch.  

[GreatKazu]

3 hours ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

Truth. But these days (from the limited stuff we see on camera), I feel like the abusive person in the Tyler-Cate-Butch household is Tyler. If I had to live there and could kick one person out, I'd be putting Tyler out before (sober) Butch.  

Agree.

At least Butch can admit he fucked up. Addiction, like depression, is a disease. Butch is working on his shit. Tyler thinks he (himself) is the shit. Tyler pisses me off.

Edited August 25, 2016 by GreatKazu

[lilmarysunshine]

22 hours ago, Katt said:

Butch was an utter bastard to Catelynn in 16 & Pregnant and at least the first season of Teen Mom. If my husband's dad had treated me even 1% as badly, I'm pretty sure my husband would have made him shit teeth. He certainly would never be welcome to visit and definitely not live in our house after serving time for putting anybody's head through a wall, even if that person was an absolute shrew. No excuse for his disgusting behaviour and Tyler is NOT the only one that ever suffered from the presence/absence of Butch. 
Dysfunctional, indeed, Great Kazu.

He and April were just so horrible to them. When they needed support more than ever, they were just awful POS.  Freakin' druggies berating their kids for not "stepping up" and being parents. STFU.  I don't know that I could *ever* forgive them. They made a difficult decision so much harder.

[SPLAIN]

I can't forget Butch telling Tyler that all a baby needs is love. Tyler, for all his douchebag behavior, responded with what stands out as one of the most truthful comments I ever heard said on this show - "A baby needs more than love!". If only Tyler took his own words to heart and got himself into a trade or at least get a job since Cate has made it clear she wants to be the one to stay home. Nova needs more than just a father who is more than happy to sit around and scour the internet and post on social media while creating a toxic environment for Nova and her mother. No one is looking out for the future. To them, the future is the next season of this show.

[jumper sage]

On 8/24/2016 at 7:19 PM, geekamonggeeks said:

As for the weed stuff, I think Cate would do best if she quit smoking it for now. She just learned that it counteracts her antidepressents and I think---since she's already unmotivated and depressed---smoking weed several times a day could make her even more unmotivated and depressed. Just my two cents. 

So much to say so settle in.  Back in the 70s and 80s everyone smoked pot from you to your parents and teachers.  Our parents let us smoke in the basement.  Smoking during high school was no big deal.  I got a great education but honestly, school was very easy for me.  College was easy too once I figured out I needed to take math and science early in the day.  I had a prof in world history who would give these huge essay type tests.  2.5 hours of writing for each test and each test took minute incidents in history that required at least 3 pages of essay to answer and each test had about 10 questions.  Smoking right before those tests worked well for I seem to be quite articulate and in a story telling mode while high.  By my second semester I realized there was no way I could work full time and go to school full time while high.  Just couldn't do it.  Only got high to write papers after that.  I never drove high.

Once you have kids you have to first realize they take a lot of energy to parent them properly.  You can't get high during the day.  Even letting grandparents take them for the weekend and planning smoking did not work out well.  We never left the couch.  Nothing got done.  We could have used that time to paint a room, do laundry, etc.  I am being honest.  Pot smokers do nothing, we all know that.  I remember my brother's kids had the chicken pox and they were busy with baths, and fevers and all the things that go with an illness.  My dad's advice was to stop and have a cocktail.  He told me it was at that exact moment he realized our dad was an alcoholic.  Well look who just caught up!

My opinion of Tyler and Catelynn:  I think Cate and Nova are living in a situation, ok not to the same extent, as Cate/Tyler upbringing.  Is there verbal abuse? YES.  Is there addiction? Yes.  Did Cate have it worse as a child? Yes, but Nova may not agree the degree is acceptable.  Do I think Tyler is living his truth?  No.  Do I think both of them have boxed themselves into roles they think society agrees with?  Yes.

I always thought their marriage was a horrible mistake.  They should have figured out a way to co-parent and live an addiction free life that moves forward.  They have many of the same problems their parents had.  No education, no job, addictions, abuse and a child seeing it all.

I think MTV has perpetuated this horror.

When Cate covered the camera up while driving did she hit a cig or a joint/pipe?  By admitting on tv that she smokes pot she opens herself up to legal ramifications.  If she has a pot license it does not give her all the wiggle room she might think she has.  Michigan is very clear on legal possession of weed and parenting.  Violations include operating a vehicle while imbibing, sharing, having substances move in and out of the home in a shared capacity.

I have always liked them and was proud of them for choosing the option they did.  Years later I am a bit disturbed to see them actually doing worse now.

Edited August 26, 2016 by jumper sage

[Darknight]

I don't care if they smoke pot. You can smoke pot,get jobs, education, and take care of your kid. These two fools only want to smoke pot and be lazy. They have a kid now. Take care of her. 

 

Caitlyn might be depressed. I'll give her a pass on that. But a lot of people with depression try to get help. They need support. Caitlyn has the support of the show and team members. They need to get her in real legit therapy off camera. 

[GreatKazu]

12 minutes ago, Darknight said:

I don't care if they smoke pot. You can smoke pot,get jobs, education, and take care of your kid. These two fools only want to smoke pot and be lazy. They have a kid now. Take care of her. 

 

Caitlyn might be depressed. I'll give her a pass on that. But a lot of people with depression try to get help. They need support. Caitlyn has the support of the show and team members. They need to get her in real legit therapy off camera. 

*thumbs up*

Cate was smoking pot while driving! It is ok because  she is depressed? So is Amber. If Amber puffed away on pot or ingested pills while driving it would be viewed negatively. All the online tabloids would have a field day. There would be outrage.

[Uncle JUICE]

16 minutes ago, GreatKazu said:

*thumbs up*

Cate was smoking pot while driving! It is ok because  she is depressed? So is Amber. If Amber puffed away on pot or ingested pills while driving it would be viewed negatively. All the online tabloids would have a field day. There would be outrage.

It's a great point, to be sure. But is part of that sort of payback for NOT being one of the worst people on earth, Cate getting the benefit of the doubt? Doesn't make it right, but it would explain the kid glove treatment. 

[jumper sage]

Just heard that Dr. Drew's show was cancelled for questionable medical talk.

[ghoulina]

16 hours ago, SPLAIN said:

I can't forget Butch telling Tyler that all a baby needs is love. Tyler, for all his douchebag behavior, responded with what stands out as one of the most truthful comments I ever heard said on this show - "A baby needs more than love!". If only Tyler took his own words to heart and got himself into a trade or at least get a job since Cate has made it clear she wants to be the one to stay home. Nova needs more than just a father who is more than happy to sit around and scour the internet and post on social media while creating a toxic environment for Nova and her mother. No one is looking out for the future. To them, the future is the next season of this show.

I had such hope for those two in the early days. Maybe I just didn't see how bad the dysfunction ran in their family. Maybe the show changed them for the worse....because I saw them as being responsible and wise beyond their years. I was very proud of them back then, and I don't remember starting to dislike Tyler until after they'd been on TV for a few years. Fame can change people, and it's rarely ever a good change. 

[Brooklynista]

1 minute ago, ghoulina said:

I had such hope for those two in the early days. Maybe I just didn't see how bad the dysfunction ran in their family. Maybe the show changed them for the worse....because I saw them as being responsible and wise beyond their years. I was very proud of them back then, and I don't remember starting to dislike Tyler until after they'd been on TV for a few years. Fame can change people, and it's rarely ever a good change. 

My dislike for Tyler kicked in when he demanded those damn cell phone records. Cate was talking a guy in FLORIDA. I mean come on asshole.  You knocked her up and convinced her to give her baby away in a parking lot.  YOU WON! She loves you better than anybody.  Get over yourself.

I think that was the first time Tyler tried to make a break for it and then punked out.  Every dig at her appearance, every insult about how she isn't driven, and every time he's taken the ring back is him regretting that he didn't cut bait and run the first time.

[ghoulina]

19 minutes ago, Brooklynista said:

My dislike for Tyler kicked in when he demanded those damn cell phone records. Cate was talking a guy in FLORIDA. I mean come on asshole.  You knocked her up and convinced her to give her baby away in a parking lot.  YOU WON! She loves you better than anybody.  Get over yourself.

I think that was the first time Tyler tried to make a break for it and then punked out.  Every dig at her appearance, every insult about how she isn't driven, and every time he's taken the ring back is him regretting that he didn't cut bait and run the first time.

Yea, I almost wonder sometimes wonder if he isn't an ass to try and get HER to dump HIM. He doesn't want to be the "bad guy", it would hurt his image. But at this point, I think he could attempt to murder Cate and she'd still stay. 

[evilmindatwork]

I think part of the marketing for them involves the resilience of their relationship. They're both life and business partners at this point, making it even  harder for either to see a way out. 

Edited August 26, 2016 by evilmindatwork

[Brooklynista]

1 minute ago, evilmindatwork said:

I think part of the marketing for them involves the resilience of their relationship. They're both life and business partners at this point, which is probably why it's hard for them to see a way out. 

Even Sonny and Cher maintained after they broke up. It can be done. These two remind me of the Gladys Knight and the Pips song Neither one of us wants to be the first to say goodbye.

[SPLAIN]

On 8/25/2016 at 7:47 AM, Darknight said:

These two idiots shouldn't have more kids. Why does C&T get a pass? They're jobless uneducated and not doing shit with their life.

Sounds like someone we know. Take a guess.

 

 

Leah Messer. She has been supposedly depressed. She has been dealing with stress. She has little ones to deal with on a daily basis. She is uneducated, has no job, and is doing the SAHM gig, like Cate. She went to a treatment center, just like Cate. Leah has been blasted from here to kingdom come because she is high as a kite and not putting her kids first.  I guess with Tyler around, Cate can't be held responsible for neglecting her child while being under the influence of weed, alcohol AND medication at the same time. Oh wait. But, Tyler smokes and drinks too. When is he sober? Only when the MTV cameras are around? How many times has Cate been under the influence while driving? While Nova is in the car? While she was home alone with Nova? Whenever that is. There was that article that came out a few months ago about Tyler and Cate going out to party and drinking for hours on end at their friend's home.

Butch and April have been there to ensure Nova doesn't take off out the door. They have ensured Nova is fed. They have ensured Nova has interactions and play time. Lucky Nova!

Edited August 26, 2016 by SPLAIN

[jumper sage]

10 hours ago, Darknight said:

I don't care if they smoke pot. You can smoke pot,get jobs, education, and take care of your kid. These two fools only want to smoke pot and be lazy. They have a kid now. Take care of her. 

Obviously they can't.

22 hours ago, SPLAIN said:

I can't forget Butch telling Tyler that all a baby needs is love. Tyler, for all his douchebag behavior, responded with what stands out as one of the most truthful comments I ever heard said on this show - "A baby needs more than love!". If only Tyler took his own words to heart and got himself into a trade or at least get a job since Cate has made it clear she wants to be the one to stay home. Nova needs more than just a father who is more than happy to sit around and scour the internet and post on social media while creating a toxic environment for Nova and her mother. No one is looking out for the future. To them, the future is the next season of this show.

Sure they can buy Nova stuff but it takes more than stuff to raise a child.  Many parents without stuff have successfully raised children.

Here's the thing, neither of them will ever pass a pre employment drug screen for a job in the trades, medical fields, social work, etc.

3 hours ago, SPLAIN said:

Butch and April have been there to ensure Nova doesn't take off out the door. They have ensured Nova is fed. They have ensured Nova has interactions and play time. Lucky Nova!

How frickin sad is that statement?  Butch has done more work than either of them.

Edited August 27, 2016 by jumper sage
punctuation counts

[SPLAIN]

2 hours ago, jumper sage said:

 

Sure they can buy Nova stuff but it takes more than stuff to raise a child.  Many parents without stuff have successfully raised children.

 

But, but...Tyler said they have a house and cars!!! They are in a way better place now to care for Nova! Poor Nova. I just can't help but think she is inhaling marijuana smoke and walking on dog shit.  Where is Gracie? She is good with taking care of children.

Quote

Here's the thing, neither of them will ever pass a pre employment drug screen for a job in the trades, medical fields, social work, etc.

With the way things are nowadays, and insurance companies enforcing employers to drug test employees, Tyler and Cate have slim pickings when it comes to jobs. What happened with that program they were trying to get started where they help families find loved ones? Excuse me while I laugh my ass off.

Quote

 

Why do these damn quote boxes appear?

[dabronx]

I tend to think that Brandon and Theresa had it with Tyler years ago, and by know they have most likely had it with Carly too. Brandon and Theresa are high functioning adults with I'm assuming "family values" or whatever you want to call it. When they met Carly no doubt she was to them the broken teen from a broken family with a heart of gold who was answering their prayers for a child. But I'm sure they've watched this show. I wouldn't doubt, nor blame them if their compassion for Carly had run out awhile ago. By now they may likely perceive Carly the same way many other high functioning adults capable of building and sustaining their lives might: A dysfunctional adult from a dysfunctional family with no capacity/interest in improving her life.  I wouldn't be surprised if they maintain contact only for not wanting to deal with all the fallout that would happen if they closed this off. Tyler and Catelynn would run their mouths to anyone who would listen. Their existing fans would harass them incessantly, lop-sided sensational news stories would influence other trolls who may not have watched a single episode to jump on the bandwagon. There's no easy way for them to fall off the grid, or protect their family from it all.  If I'm Brandon and Theresa I'm living my worst nightmare in having the joy of an adoption and starting a family ruined with the stress of knowing that there are a bazillion ADDITIONAL ways that complete strangers could interfere with and damage my child's sense of self worth and  her relationship with Mom and Dad (meaning B&T of course) due to this damn show (and that's on top of all the "normal" ways for a child to end up in a bad place emotionally and in relationship to her parents).  I'm not sure whatever possessed them to have anything to do with Teen Mom post baby's birth.  If they wanted to get some interactions with Carly on film with her birth parents for later in life they should have done that with their damn smart phone. Then saved that file somewhere deep in the hardrive and wait to see how that contact with Tyler and Cate played out for a while so they could choose to share at the appropriate time, or ever. Personally, the minute they both started wavering on and dicking around with either pursuing additional schooling or technical training I would have pulled the freaking plug on any contact.

Edited August 27, 2016 by dabronx
missing words..sigh

[mamadrama]

I've been thinking about Carly's perception of C & T. She is 7, right? I have kids: 9 and 5. The 9-year-old is just NOW really starting to get the concept of "family" and what it means. (His "nanny" is MY "mommy", I have a sister like he does, etc.) My little one, on the other hand, is still lost about some things. She, for instance, knows that she has a "papaw" and "nanny" but still gets confused and occasionally thinks that my husband and I have the same parents. Kinship is a weird thing. Hell, I have a MA and took an entire class about kinship. :-)

What I am trying to say is that to Carly while B&T have probably explained "birth parents" to her, I doubt she has a real understanding of who those people are. After all, she only sees them once a year. They might as well be cousins or old neighbors. To HER, "parents" are the people you live with. I don't think she'll have a great understanding of her relationship with C&T until she is much older. 

My ranting here is in response to C&T having an inflated idea of who they are to Carly. Remember Carly supposedly running to Tyler and calling him "Daddy" before the wedding? I highly doubt that. (Especially since his story changed several times.) I wouldn't be surprised if, away from the meetings, B&T don't even mention C&T to Carly. Why would they? 

I am hoping, for both Carly's sake AND Cate's sake, that once the show finally ends (it has to end, right?) B&T will start the weaning process. Then, when Carly is an adult, she can choose for herself what kind of relationship she wants. 

[Katt]

And frigging Tyler thinking Carly will be devastated if she doesn't get to see HIM. I somehow think she'll survive... If she even notices. Bloody hell. Trying to say B&T will be the worst babysitters in the world if they deprive Carly of that egotistical twat waffle! Grr. 

[mamadrama]

17 minutes ago, Katt said:

Trying to say B&T will be the worst babysitters in the world if they deprive Carly of that egotistical twat waffle! Grr. 

And they DO act like B&T are babysitters. Or like they are co-parenting with them. I wish there was better terminology for the birth parents. Even using the phrase "biological father" is too much for me in regards to Tyler*. I don't think "father" should be applied to Tyler at all for Carly. It implies a relationship that simply doesn't exist. Still, better than "sperm donor." :-) 

Maybe it is an editing thing. Maybe C&T play it up for the cameras. I hope so. I hope that when the cameras aren't on them they let Carly go and don't obsess over her the way they have in the past on the show. 

 

*I mean that phrase specifically for this situation, not making a blanket statement for birth parents in general. 

[geekamonggeeks]

7 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Maybe it is an editing thing. Maybe C&T play it up for the cameras. I hope so. I hope that when the cameras aren't on them they let Carly go and don't obsess over her the way they have in the past on the show. 

I think I read on Reddit that Catelynn and Tyler said that they play up the adoption angle on the show because it's always been their main storyline, and that they don't talk about Carly nearly as much as they do when they're on camera. If that was the case, then why is Tyler throwing a hissy-fit over not being able to talk about Carly's family on the show? Why is he saying that he's totally prepared to walk away from Carly if he can't discuss her publicly? Then you have Catelynn practically having a meltdown because she realizes that if Brandon and Teresa got sick of Tyler and finally cut him off, they'll most likely cut Cate loose, too, since she's married to him. I think it's likely that Cate probably isn't as focused on Carly as Tyler is. I think she wants to move on terms of discussing Carly so much and just focus on herself and her family. Then you have Tyler lording his genetic connection to Carly like that's what really makes a father. He seems so genuinely pissed-off, and I don't think he's nearly a good enough actor for it to be a performance. I think he really thinks he can call the shots when it comes to Carly and is angry that Brandon and Teresa won't comply. 

I agree with everyone's posts that Carly, at seven, probably doesn't really think too much about Catelynn or Tyler. Last season, Tyler was telling everybody, "She called me Daddy! She talks about me all the time!" Yeah, I doubt that. I'm sure Carly does mention C&T occasionally, and that she gets excited when she goes to visit them, but Tyler's full of shit. It's like he can't fathom that this little girl has a life completely independent of him and his backwards family. Carly already knows that C&T are her birth parents and Nova is her younger sister, but that doesn't mean there's some close connection right now or that Carly is going to choose her bio-family over the parents who have been raising her since day one. Tyler totally wants to coparent her, but that's not what adoption is about. I know that Bethany misled him and Cate about what to expect, but it's been seven years and Brandon and Teresa have been slowly reducing contact. There's no excuse for Tyler to get so angry with them, especially when Teresa told him point-blank that they would have more contact if it weren't for the show. 

[Snarky McSnarky]

In general, the moms annoy me because they act like they've actually earned all of the money thrown at them for getting pregnant, and they parade around like celebrities when they go to NY or LA for filming.  But Tyler truly annoys the shit out of me, since he didn't go through anything the females went through, and struts around like he is large and in charge all the time.  That boy needs slappin' down.  He is way too full of himself.