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Amber: A Rill Woman Goes to Gel


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I would put his ass out just for having his shoes on the bed. Fucking gross.

 

Along those lines, when Amber and Matt were leaving the Vegas hotel room, I noticed that they'd left the bathroom a mess.  There were towels all over the counter and floor.  When I leave a hotel room I try to leave the room somewhat neat--trash in receptacle, etc.  Anyway, knowing that small scene stuck out in my mind--and bothered me,  probably tells more about me than Amber and Matt!

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Wow - Amber continues to jump in to relationships with absolutely no boundaries or blinders. She drinks and says it's ok cause pills weren't her problem. My goodness. Addicts can be addicted to anything. Just another gateway to a new addiction. And nice pick a man 20 years your senior, with limited job prospects and a recovering addict who punches holes in walls. 

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Amber may be okay with wine here and there and she may be okay not attending meetings. She can stay clean and healthy as long as her general lifestyle works for her and allows her to function without dependency issues.

But Amber has dependency issues. Guys. I can't remember a time when she went without a guy in her life. That is one of her problems. It is as if she cannot function unless she has a guy in her bed and on her couch. Amber relies on a guy to fulfill some void in her life. That is not at all healthy. Amber may have cleaned up in prison, but that is not the same when dealing with the real world. In prison, you are in a strict world. She had to be in control of her anger or face consequences. She is now out in the world where there are many triggers and she has nothing to lean on for support. No group, no sponsor, nothing. Amber drinking wine and claiming it won't affect her sobriety, is a joke. Clearly what happened in Vegas started with getting buzzed on drinks, I'm sure.

  • Love 7
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Amber always gives me a vibe that she is not at all about being clean. Home and personal hygiene.

 

Matt looks like he smells and can't bother to bathe. Great combo those two.

 

Amber is a lot like Leah (TM2) in that she can't just be on her own without a guy by her side.

  • Love 7
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I really don't want to defend Amber but, I kind of see where she is coming from here. It's a small town. Her house was vandalized to the point of not being able to have her daughter there. I wouldn't exactly be wanting to sit in a group either. Not when I'm expected to open my heart and out my inner most thoughts, anyway.

She has a car.  She can drive out of her town.  The majority of people who are in AA truly want to support and help others in similar situations they have been in.  They aren't going to go blabbing off to everyone they know that the " world famous Amber from Teen Mom" was at their meeting. Granted meetings are not for everyone, but absence of any kind of continuing work on oneself is simply picking up before picking up.  Drinking wine Amber?  I know it's classy so it doesn't really count right?  Except when I used to swig straight out of the wine bottle to get my desired effect faster.  This girl is going to crash and burn and she will only have herself to blame and Leah to be left without a mother again.

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(edited)

She has a car. She can drive out of her town. The majority of people who are in AA truly want to support and help others in similar situations they have been in. They aren't going to go blabbing off to everyone they know that the " world famous Amber from Teen Mom" was at their meeting. Granted meetings are not for everyone, but absence of any kind of continuing work on oneself is simply picking up before picking up. Drinking wine Amber? I know it's classy so it doesn't really count right? Except when I used to swig straight out of the wine bottle to get my desired effect faster. This girl is going to crash and burn and she will only have herself to blame and Leah to be left without a mother again.

This would be me you quoted. Let met help out a bit here and copy and paste the rest of it to be read again. Because it's the important part...

She could be seeing a therapist/friend/doctor, in private, though. She does need the support. I just see where a group might not be the best thing for her.

Edited by MissMel
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Addiction is so hard to figure. Sometimes, addicts can honestly use a substance to which s/he has not had a problem managing and be okay.

Yep. This is true for me. People tend to side-eye (recovering) addicts who still use other addictive substances and state they're not clean/sober and headed for a fall.

I'm a recovering addict who drinks occasionally. Alcohol really isn't my thing, I'm not drinking a glass of wine with my meal but on a night out with my friends, yeah I get drunk. I've never abused alcohol and despite my addiction to many things I don't think I'm likely to since it's purely a social thing for me and doesn't give me what I "need." I took drugs because they gave me peace I don't otherwise have. I use my anorexia as a distraction and coping mechanism. I chain smoke because it that hand-to-mouth calms me. But alcohol? That's just a fun thing I do occasionally when I'm partying with my friends.

I guess I don't find Amber's drinking as fatalistic as others. If alcohol makes one violent, aggressive or anxious then it's probably a good idea not to drink - but that applies, addict or not. If she is able to drink in moderation and it doesn't exacerbate her pre-existing emotional problems then eh, I don't really think a glass of wine here and there is that big of a deal.

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Yep. This is true for me. People tend to side-eye (recovering) addicts who still use other addictive substances and state they're not clean/sober and headed for a fall.

I'm a recovering addict who drinks occasionally. Alcohol really isn't my thing, I'm not drinking a glass of wine with my meal but on a night out with my friends, yeah I get drunk. I've never abused alcohol and despite my addiction to many things I don't think I'm likely to since it's purely a social thing for me and doesn't give me what I "need." I took drugs because they gave me peace I don't otherwise have. I use my anorexia as a distraction and coping mechanism. I chain smoke because it that hand-to-mouth calms me. But alcohol? That's just a fun thing I do occasionally when I'm partying with my friends.

I guess I don't find Amber's drinking as fatalistic as others. If alcohol makes one violent, aggressive or anxious then it's probably a good idea not to drink - but that applies, addict or not. If she is able to drink in moderation and it doesn't exacerbate her pre-existing emotional problems then eh, I don't really think a glass of wine here and there is that big of a deal.

This is about our speculation of what we've seen of Amber. Her decisions are so poor when she's sober, that she probably shouldn't drink, period. She's had trouble with the law, failed in receiving custody of her child, has addiction problems, and doesn't have a typical stressful lifestyle (career, etc) that she needs a drink to unwind. The pros vs. the cons of her imbibing are nil. I don't see any benefit to her drinking. She needs to get her life together.

She's also put on a lot of weight and leads an inactive lifestyle. No need for empty calories.

As with all these Moms and kids, we wish them and their kids the best. When one has so many problems they are struggling with, why add anything that could even potentially be a problem (like alcohol)?

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This is about our speculation of what we've seen of Amber. Her decisions are so poor when she's sober, that she probably shouldn't drink, period. She's had trouble with the law, failed in receiving custody of her child, has addiction problems, and doesn't have a typical stressful lifestyle (career, etc) that she needs a drink to unwind. The pros vs. the cons of her imbibing are nil. I don't see any benefit to her drinking. She needs to get her life together.

She's also put on a lot of weight and leads an inactive lifestyle. No need for empty calories.

As with all these Moms and kids, we wish them and their kids the best. When one has so many problems they are struggling with, why add anything that could even potentially be a problem (like alcohol)?

I'm not going to comment on Amber's weight either way; I have anorexia and and thus everyone has an opinion on mine which I'm naturally extremely sensitive about so I choose to to criticise others. However, since I'm an expert in deprivation and starvation, I do not agree with your stance on depriving oneself of "empty calories." Most things in moderation as fine and are considered a healthy attitude to food. In addition, Amber probably takes antidepressants/anti psychotics which commonly cause weight gain that is almost impossible to shift whilst still taking them.

Your final paragraph is why I said if it doesn't exacerbate any pre-existing emotional problems and she is able to do so in moderation. If she's able to have one glass of wine occasionally, stop and be fine I don't see the big deal. If she's not, then that is an issue and she should refrain from drinking.

You could be right and she is headed for a huge relapse; addicts tend to relapse many, many times before they finally are clean but I'm simply not comfortable nailing her to a wall because she was seen drinking wine.

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I'm not going to comment on Amber's weight either way; I have anorexia and and thus everyone has an opinion on mine which I'm naturally extremely sensitive about so I choose to to criticise others. However, since I'm an expert in deprivation and starvation, I do not agree with your stance on depriving oneself of "empty calories." Most things in moderation as fine and are considered a healthy attitude to food. In addition, Amber probably takes antidepressants/anti psychotics which commonly cause weight gain that is almost impossible to shift whilst still taking them.

Your final paragraph is why I said if it doesn't exacerbate any pre-existing emotional problems and she is able to do so in moderation. If she's able to have one glass of wine occasionally, stop and be fine I don't see the big deal. If she's not, then that is an issue and she should refrain from drinking.

You could be right and she is headed for a huge relapse; addicts tend to relapse many, many times before they finally are clean but I'm simply not comfortable nailing her to a wall because she was seen drinking wine.

Nobody "nailed her to a wall". The discussion was whether it was a good idea for a recovering addict to be drinking or not.

I trust you that you are "an expert". But once again I'm talking about my opinion of what I've seen about Amber, not about you.

As far as her being on antipsychotics, your statement is the first I have heard of that. If it's true, a quick Google search shows that mixing alcohol with antipsychotics can be dangerous.

I don't think anything more needs to be said on this. You think and occassional drink for Amber is not a big deal. I feel that at this point in her life, it's an added obstacle and an unneeded risk.

  • Love 3
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(edited)

 

I trust you that you are "an expert". But once again I'm talking about my opinion of what I've seen about Amber, not about you.

Exactly.

 

Amber is more than just having one glass of wine at a promotional taping in NYC. She and that clodhopper boyfriend of hers have both gone on social media and mentioned that they both drink. Seeing that Matt has now punched his fist into a wall, and Amber went off the rails when someone dared to look in her direction after what might have been a day of drinking in Las Vegas (drinks are free in the casinos as long as you are gambling), it seems they can't control their anger and alcohol can only fuel that anger. 

 

Agree with the comment above that Amber has made many questionable choices in her life, and our feelings are based on many factors not just Amber having a glass of wine.

Edited by GreatKazu
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(edited)

Amber's problem is not having a glass of wine now and then.

 

She cannot function because she has no structure in her life. She has no job, no regular counseling of which we're aware, nothing to be responsible to. I believe that she loves Leah, but she wants Leah to fit into the paradigm in which Amber lives...where everything is all about Amber and the vacation from life she's given herself now that she's been released. Amber has made herself into a martyr and it's sad. The best thing she ever did for herself was say no to drug court and take incarceration as a means to sobriety, but instead of parlaying the experience into something worthwhile, she is wasting it each and every day that she continues to loaf and live without parameters. The programs in which she involved herself in prison and her success with them is proof that she thrives on structure, support, and discipline--you don't have to be locked up to build those parameters for yourself, but without counseling and direction, she hasn't figured out how to do it.

 

And now, she wants Gary and Leah to accept the way she lives and fit into that lifestyle, where structure is non-existent and being Leah's biological parent guarantees Amber all the free reign she wants over Leah's life. Gary's a douche for shit-talking in front of Leah, but his sentiment was valid and logical. Amber doesn't know how to be a parent. She's never done it affectively. Whether or not she thinks what rules Gary has set are necessary, he is the main structure in Leah's life and he has primary custody of her. Amber is doing herself no favors with her behavior and I don't think she has a prayer of securing anything more than every other weekend and maybe one dinner night during the week, custody-wise. I mean, really, who takes their sick child to that kind of motel, where rooms are probably rented by the hour and the place is likely teeming with bacteria and all sorts of funky germs. Then she blows off the dr. appt. next day? Sure, maybe Leah was feeling better. Maybe she didn't need to see the doctor. But Amber has no idea. Her instincts are rusty and she is basically being handed time with her daughter by the parent who has been and should be making decisions about this kind of thing. She is not using it wisely.

 

Ugh. Why do I care.

Edited by SaveLevi
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Amber's problem is not having a glass of wine now and then.

 

She cannot function because she has no structure in her life.

 

Ugh. Why do I care.

 

Cut up your quote to save space, but agree with everything you said. Is it disturbing to drink wine when you've had a drug problem? Maybe, maybe not. But if you're drinking in conjunction with not going to meetings, not seeking counseling (that we know of), not getting a job, not following the advice necessary to reclaim custody of your child, not paying child support, jumping into a serious relationship with another recovering addict, AND have serious issues with anger management? Yeah, I think there might be some problems there. I think it's a matter of when, not if, Amber relapses. For Leah's sake, would be happy to be wrong.

 

It's infuriating to me to see Amber whine about how much she misses Leah when she has done absolutely nothing to ensure more time and automony with her. Her whole case is, I gave birth to her and she likes to be around me, so so what if I have no job, don't pay child support, show extremely bad judgement on a daily basis, and don't seek any kind of therapy for my host of issues?

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I agree that a recovering drug addict who indulges in the occasional glass of wine isn't itself necessarily a problem. When I was younger I struggled with anorexia and drinking. I could see myself getting really carried away with both if I wasn't careful. Now I don't drink at all. Haven't in about 8 years. But I never had an issue with drugs. I tried a few things in high school, as most of my peers did. And while it was fun, I never felt the same "pull" I did with alcohol and restricting my food intake. So I recognize that having a dependency on one thing doesn't mean you will with everything. 

 

However, Amber is dating ANOTHER recovering addict. And she has only been out in the tempting world for a short time. She really needs to keep a clear head to keep control. She has a hard enough time with that anyhow. It worries me that they went to Vegas, had some drinks, and she's screaming at him....he's punching walls. And who knows all what went on in that hotel room? We only heard the story they chose to share. Amber has some real issues, that are unrelated to her use of addictive substances. IMO, she needs to get those squared away before testing the waters. 

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Sounds like Matt is pulling the wool over Amber's slit eyes. The old "I haven't gotten paid yet" line. C'mon now. That is one old line that has been around forever. I have never had that kind of line pulled on me, but if someone were to say it, I'd be giving them looks while saying "Uh huh, right."

 

It is so easy to see the shit Matt is pulling on Amber. Sadly, she can't or doesn't want to see it because she is so lonely and has no friggin' life. Matt is better than being alone.

 

Amber was so defensive and quick to cut off her brother as he began to tell her what she didn't want to hear.

 

In the end, I hope she stays with Matt just because it means there is no chance in hell she will get more time with her child. Gary seems as concerned about Matt as the rest of us. And with the Vegas footage of him admitting he punched a wall? How long before that anger turns onto Amber and then, God forbid, Leah?  I hope that Gary and his girlfriend work hard to make sure that Leah stays under his roof for as much as he can. Not that Gary is some great guy or dad, but his home offers stability and I don't see his girlfriend on the same level as I see Matt. Matt is so far down to the ground, he is too low to kick.

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Sounds like Matt is pulling the wool over Amber's slit eyes. The old "I haven't gotten paid yet" line. C'mon now. That is one old line that has been around forever. I have never had that kind of line pulled on me, but if someone were to say it, I'd be giving them looks while saying "Uh huh, right."

 

The weird thing was, when they were out to dinner with the cousin, Matt was saying something about how he didn't get a job, or it wasn't working out....something...but that he was probably going back into HR. I can't remember the exact conversation, but it sounded like he was definitely not employed, but looking. Of course there is always fuckery when it comes to the editing of these shows, and timing gets confused. But two different impressions were given in regards to Matt earning a living. 

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Agree ghoulina.

 

Aside from the editing, the fuckery also comes from Amber. She will make things sound all perfect and make Matt sound like a great guy. Basically, she is trying to lie to the viewers and her family while trying to believe her own lies.

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It really is amazing how far in denial she is. Aside from his age, unemployment and history with addiction, how can she, as a mother, respect a man who would move 1000 miles away from his own children after talking to her on the Twittah a few times? The guy radiates creepiness, and Ambie has made some really poor decisions regarding men in the past. In fact, Gary is probably the best guy she ever dated (that we know of).

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Matt is such a freaking Creeper. As my husband said "that's her boyfriend? He's my age". He up and left his home for her, and I just don't believe he's that great of a guy. He seems like he's using her and she's just too dumb to see it. She continues to have no idea how to be a functional human or let alone a parent. I had hope for her initially but it's dwindling. She's becoming my least favorite again and that's hard considering I detest Farrah. Why do I watch this show?

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Matt had the gall to say he was never in jail. Didn't he get busted for DUI?  Or, is he playing semantics here? In his mind, being in jail means spending more than 48 hours behind bars. He sat there and told Amber's cousin he was never in jail. Loved how he left out being arrested for DUI, writing bad checks, and whatever else he has gotten in trouble for.

 

It also paints Amber in a bad light because he is implying (to me at least) that being in jail would make him a bad person. Amber was in prison.

  • Love 2
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Matt definitely radiates the creeper vibe. I guess Amber can't see it through her 10lbs of eyelashes that make her look like she's got two black fuzzy lines on her face and not eyeballs. And the way she wears her glasses, practically falling off her nose, drives me nuts. As a glasses wearer from age 10+ I can tell you if they're that far down you can't see out of them and they just drive you nuts. I have no idea how she wears them that way. Or why.

 

Didn't Matt's TM obsession start out with Jenelle? Then when she didn't give him the time of day he moved on to Amber. I vaguely recall some Twitter fight between the 3 of them sometime recently.

 

As far as Amber's recovery I dunno. I know some folks in recovery who still drink (and alcohol was not their issue), and others who don't because they don't want to risk anything. I think it's up to everyone individually. But I do agree that LV and punching holes in walls is not exactly positive. And with Amber's hair trigger temper I can see things getting physical, at some point. And Matt seems to be going down the Gary road, as in he knows what buttons to press for different reactions. Soon enough he'll be playing her like a piano. It's come out he's already cheated on her and her dumbass didn't dump him. I see nothing but problems in their future. Also, do we know why he doesn't see his kids, and why neither pay child support?

  • Love 3
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do we know why he doesn't see his kids, and why neither pay child support?

Matt's waiting to be paid.

 

I am not sure what Amber's reason is. Anyone know the timeline of the show? Gary mentioned Amber hasn't paid him since October. I am guessing the show was filmed in late 2014.

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Is it disturbing to drink wine when you've had a drug problem? Maybe, maybe not. But if you're drinking in conjunction with not going to meetings, not seeking counseling (that we know of), not getting a job, not following the advice necessary to reclaim custody of your child, not paying child support, jumping into a serious relationship with another recovering addict, AND have serious issues with anger management? Yeah, I think there might be some problems there. I think it's a matter of when, not if, Amber relapses.

 

 

This. For some people ... fine. For Amber ... no.

 

And she's a horrible parent. Just wanted to get that in there.

  • Love 2
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That hotel--Fantasuites, that Amber and Matt (and Leah) stayed at looked downright gross.  There was an "Arabian Nights" mural that looked like a third grader painted, and that hot tub/bath tub thingy? GROSS.  Who has the nerve to take their child to that kind of establishment?? Um..Change of plans, Amber.  When you have a situation like this arise, and you have Leah for the night, change your plans! it just seemed wholly inappropriate.

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What was it Amber said? Or was it Matt? One of them said they needed some privacy. What the hell is Amber's house? A party house where they can't get privacy? Those two are full of shit. Neither is paying child support to their kids, but there they go to Vegas, go out to eat, stay at Fantasuites or whatever the hell it is called. Losers, both of them. Amber is far from being a mother.

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So question about Amber's support payments. When do they get paid for TM? Is it when they start filming? During filming? When filming wraps? Maybe Amber hasn't paid because she hasn't had a paycheck to be garnished and lord knows she's not going to get off the couch and find a pen and her checkbook and write out a support payment herself.

  • Love 1
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(edited)

They supposedly get paid after the season in one lump sum, however, Amber "wrote" a book and had the Being Amber Special, two things that brought her income. She sure had money for that new Cadillac, eating out, going to the nail salon, and then there is that Vegas trip. How about paying child support with that money?

Edited by GreatKazu
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They supposedly get paid after the season in one lump sum, however, Amber "wrote" a book and had the Being Amber Special, two things that brought her income. She sure had no ey for that new Cadillac and then there is that Vegas trip. How about paying child support with that money?

 

Speaking of the Cadillac, where was it this episode?  There appeared some kind of Nissan--maybe an Altima? I wonder if she was cutting back on her expenses.

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They supposedly get paid after the season in one lump sum, however, Amber "wrote" a book and had the Being Amber Special, two things that brought her income. She sure had money for that new Cadillac, eating out, going to the nail salon, and then there is that Vegas trip. How about paying child support with that money?

Oh I'm not defending Amber AT ALL. She is a shitty mother. She is such a shitty mother she makes Gary look good. I'm just guessing that the last time she paid support was the last time it was garnished. If she some how managed to get paid for something that accidentally wasn't garnished I doubt it would occurr to her to write a check on her own. Heck, I doubt she knows how to write a check. Double heck, I doubt she has a checking account.

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She sure had money for that new Cadillac, eating out, going to the nail salon, and then there is that Vegas trip. How about paying child support with that money?

 No doubt. But I think the poster meant Amber couldn't be assed to physically write the check, not that she was claiming there was no money in her bank account.

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I thought the Nissan was Matt's car.

Going by what Gary said, it does not sound like child support is being garnished. He said it in a way that implied Amber voluntarily pays it. If it was an issue with garnishment, he would be asking MTV's HR department about why he is not getting the monthly support.

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(edited)

The to drink or not to drink issue is one of many reasons that she should have opted for treatment rather than prison. A professional who was working with her over time should have helped her set that limit. When she went to prison she said it was because she would never have taken to the rules in rehab but the flip side of that is she didn't really get the root of the problems, treated. Now she has this "time served" attitude but in reality she has to serve time as an addict for most likely her whole life. It's almost certainly a recipe for relapse.

Edited by Soobs
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How is Gary paying all of his bills? His condom and cookie money can't be covering all his expenses (if he even has enough cookies left over to sell).

I think Gary used to work as a CNA which is a good job. You're never going to get rich off of it, but it would support himself and Leah. That was awhile ago though, so who knows if he still does that.

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(edited)

Ryan and Amber should get together - two of the sleepiest people I've ever seen.

Kristina always looks terrified. She got a prison wife vibe to her. Hanging on for dear life to a mediocre guy.

I don't hate Gary. He's provided Leah with what looks like a clean and happy home. Sure a lot of it may be Kristina's doing, but it's still happening. He probably figures he'll just cash in on Teen Mom fame and stay home with Leah while he can. He's one of the few that can actually go into another job when he has to (maybe. At least he has some training and education). I've always had a small soft spot for him when Amber was a raging addict. There was one scene in particular where he was telling Amber about Leah's new preschool and how she'd get to play restaurant. He had a very sweet, excited look on his face. Of course Amber announced that no way, no how was she going to pay half of Leah's school cost (which I think was only $400 a month for her), and Gary said never mind - he'd pay it all.

I know it was not cool to talk shit about Amber in front of Leah, but maybe he just had a breakdown. No child support, yet that sleepy bitch can't stop talking herself up as the great all-knowing mom. I'm guilty of letting off steam as well a few too many times when I shouldn't have. There was a scene not long before that where he was speaking in hushed tones about her ... and Leah wasn't even in the room.

People don't get that obese without some major mental thing hanging over their head. I wonder what Gary's is since he was already heavy with Amber. Did we ever hear about his father? That stepdad is all kindsa creepy. Fat people usually hate being fat. It's not like you can turn on a switch and make yourself lose weight.

I wouldn't be surprised to learn that Amber and the Creepee (typo but I'm leaving it) are drunks. Maybe they're hiding it during filming, but something is not right there. All that sleeping, and still the raging mood swings.

Edited by EmeraldGirl
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Earlier this month, ROL reported that Amber was recently several months behind on her rent, and it wasn't the first time.  Behind in rent, behind in child support.   Her checkbook was probably all the way on the other side of her living room.

 

Either that or the couch ate it.

  • Love 2
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From Radar Online - August 2014, Amber is not even dealing with her depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder. It is one thing that she is not doing anything for her addiction issues, she is not even tending to her mental health:

 

Amber:  “A lot of times it just depends on what I’m feeling, if I’m depressed or I’m sad or I’m bored, I have to learn to cope with it and I have to learn to do things,” she continued. “If I’m bored, I’ll call somebody or I’ll go do something or I’ll take a drive.”

But Portwood does still have to deal with her medical diagnosis of depression, anxiety and bipolar disorder.

“I’m not on any kind of medication,” she admitted. “I’m kind of scared to go to a doctor.”

“It is hard but the sad thing about it is that I probably do need to be on medication for my bipolar but I kind of messed that up to where, at this moment, I don’t feel I would be strong enough to go to a doctor,” she said. “I’m just afraid.”

“The one thing about an addict is that there’s so many temptations and if you know your temptations, you stay away from it,” she said. “And I’m not about to put myself in that position right now until I feel like I am completely ready.”

“But it is hard,” she confessed. “There are times where I’m really depressed, where it’s really hard and it’s not necessarily my fault.”

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What is with Amber and Janelle and being "bored"? They both act like bordeum is some awful medical condition they have to deal with. As if they are the only people on earth that were ever bored, or as if it's a difficult problem to solve. I get bored on the rare occasion too, then I do something and I'm not bored anymore. Jesus Christ! Read a fucking book or something.

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