Amber: A Rill Woman Goes to Gel

[GreatKazu]

What? Amber had a sponsor who touched her inappropriately? When was this mentioned?

 

Amber is not safe as long as she doesn't follow through with post-rehab therapy. She surely still has anger issues and self-control.

 

A month ago, Amber tweeted a message about Matt cheating on her:

http://teenmomgossip.com/amber-portwood-accuses-matt-baier-of-cheating-quickly-deletes-tweet/

Edited May 12, 2015 by GreatKazu

[Elizabeth9]

I'm assuming this is speculation. Men are supposed to sponsor men and women sponsor women to avoid things like this from happening (unless sponsor is gay or bi, but your get the idea).

[wrestlesflamingos]

Hey - at least we know the boyfriend isn't getting a free ride if no one is paying the bills.

[GreatKazu]

Oh.

 

Really, there are no excuses for what Amber is doing, period. Millions of people who are in recovery, have sponsors, attend meetings, attend therapy, and do anything that they need to do to keep from falling off the wagon. I remember when the big stars, like Elizabeth Taylor and Robin Williams, attended meetings to help in their  recovery. They didn't worry about their anonymity. Amber is a bullshit liar who just doesn't want to do the work unless she can do it from her shit-stained couch.

Edited May 12, 2015 by GreatKazu

[MissMel]

I didn't mean to imply that Amber was touched inappropriately. I just meant that it happens. And that may be a reason she doesn't commit.

I wouldn't feel safe in her shoes. For sure. And that has nothing to do with being anonymous.

Edited May 12, 2015 by MissMel

[Maharincess]

Well, some sponsors are not legit. I don't know why Amber doesn't commit. But I can say having a sponsor take their hand up your thigh while driving them home, might turn a person off. It happens. She may not feel safe. Again, I don't know but it's not unheard of, either.

I think she just doesn't have a safe space.

I agree. I'm a sponsor. Not all of them are good but the same can be said of anybody doing anything. It takes time to find the right one. Sometimes you go through a few until you find the one you click with.

I've been sponsoring my girl for 7 years.

In our group we don't allow opposite sex sponsors. It just invites trouble.

I just want to clarify something. I know this comment contradicts my comment in the episode thread about being loaded on painkillers. I've had 6 surgeries on my spine and hip in a year and a half so there's a reason I'm taking them.

Just don't want any of you to think I'm full of shit.

Edited May 12, 2015 by Maharincess

[NikSac]

I put this in the Episode thread for last night as well, but wanted to post this part specifically related to Amber here (edited a bit to make briefer). I'm worried for her.  Someone noticed she had a glass of wine in part of the episode so I re-watched to check it out, and sure enough, yes, she had wine. In the pizza scene, they clearly show her with a large partially full wine glass in her hand while they're eating and talking. It's not just water or soda in a wine glass - if it's not white wine I don't know what else it would be. This scene starts right around 53 according to my DVR. The first time you can see it is right when they dig into the pizza, and then another time again shortly after. They don't show her actually drinking it, but she's clearly holding it, and it's her drink (she's not just hanging onto it for someone else to get it out of the way while they grabbed a plate of food or set the pizza down).  I was really sad to see that.

Edited May 12, 2015 by NikSac

[GreatKazu]

Same here NikSac. I am guessing Amber's philosophy is that she had a pill problem, not a drinking problem. Again, she reminds me of Kim Richards and so many other addicts who think as long as they refrain from the actual vice that caused them to be addicted, they can enjoy other vices.

 

 

I didn't mean to imply that Amber was touched inappropriately. I just meant that it happens. And that may be a reason she doesn't commit.

She gave her bullshit reason - no anonymity. In other words, she doesn't want to seek post-rehab help and she wants to drink, as was noticeably clear in last night's episode.

[Tatum]

 

Amber is a bullshit liar who just doesn't want to do the work unless she can do it from her shit-stained couch.

 

I laughed so hard. Loving all the Amber-couch jokes.

 

 

She gave her bullshit reason - no anonymity.

 

She's on a fucking reality show. She tweets about her personal business all day long. People have seen her high, slap her boyfriend around, have multiple meltdowns, show questionable parenting decisions, and read her tweets about her boyfriend cheating on her who also happens to be in recovery. I would have to imagine the average AA attendee would show a little more respect and compassion than the average fan that goes on the websites Amber updates regularly. I think she's full of shit and the anonymity is a convenient excuse.

[zenme]

I laughed so hard. Loving all the Amber-couch jokes.

 

I learned to drive on my dad's Cadillac, and I'd always thought that sitting on the Cadillac seats always felt like I was sitting on a couch. Now I know why Amber chose the Cadillac. 

[GreatKazu]

Where are the memes of Amber and her couch? Don't we have someone here who can come up with some funny pics?

[NikSac]

Same here NikSac. I am guessing Amber's philosophy is that she had a pill problem, not a drinking problem. Again, she reminds me of Kim Richards and so many other addicts who think as long as they refrain from the actual vice that caused them to be addicted, they can enjoy other vices.

 

She gave her bullshit reason - no anonymity. In other words, she doesn't want to seek post-rehab help and she wants to drink, as was noticeably clear in last night's episode.

 

I was so sad to see this but I agree. I think the "no NA due to no anonymity" was probably a cover for "but I'm not taking pills, so I'm doing great" even though she's drinking. She didn't want someone telling her she couldn't drink either. I'm sure she had to go to meetings in "jel" so she must know about cross-addictions. I have a hard time believing that wine glass was full of some white-wine-colored nonalcoholic sparkling beverage. As usual with these girls I hope I'm wrong,

[FozzyBear]

Same here NikSac. I am guessing Amber's philosophy is that she had a pill problem, not a drinking problem. Again, she reminds me of Kim Richards and so many other addicts who think as long as they refrain from the actual vice that caused them to be addicted, they can enjoy other vices.

.

This is a real question. Is it possible that's true? I really don't remember Amber drinking much, but she always seemed high. Is it not possible to develop addictions to some things, but not others?

[Elizabeth9]

All I know is NA says don't be fooled, alcohol is a drug. Guess that answers the why no NA question. Any treatment center I'm familiar with says the same thing.

[starfire]

Has it been said how long Matt has supposedly been clean?

[Christina]

I know people who stopped harder drugs, continued to use pot, and ended right back on the harder drugs. Marijuana and alcohol still alter the brain chemistry. She seems to be on a slippery slope.

 

It also seems like people were selling stories about her when she was in prison. She may be afraid that will happen with rehab, since she won't be anonymous. She probably wants to be the only one who can sell stories about herself.

 

I wonder if she'll get to do drug court again when she gets arrested for another drug charge? I'm certain there are people in her life :cough:Gary:cough: who would turn her in the moment they find out about drugs. Gary, of course, if she is using around Leah, but also if she hauls off and hits him again. Her being in jail seemed easier on him.

 

I liked her during her sixteen and pregnant episode. She was funny and lively. I would like to see her stay clean and do well for herself and Leah.

[Maharincess]

A lot of addicts will think that because A was their drug of choice, then B will be ok. So many just trade one addiction for another. I've been sober a long time but I'm taking hard pain medicine right now.

Since addiction is in my family and I caught the gene, I'm working with a sponsor while I'm on the medications to make sure I stay on the straight and narrow with them. I don't even keep them at my house. My sponsor has possession of them, we went through my Dr so she has special papers saying she's allowed to have my medications in her possession.

She brings my daily dose of the hard stuff every morning and I keep 5 of the "regular" ones in case of breakthrough pain. When I use those she brings me 5 more.

I also use medical marijuana because the pills kill my appetite and I have a hard time sleeping when I take the pills.

My point was that from what I've seen I don't think Amber is serious about her recovery at all. She's less than 3 years clean am I right? She should still be attending some type of therapy or group. She needs somebody who she can trust, who is sober and has been for a while and somebody working some kind of program that she can call at anytime day or night if she's feeling like she wants to use.

NA and AA aren't for everybody. My meetings aren't associated with them. I'm an atheist and wasn't into praying at every meeting. But there are many great groups out there. I hope she finds some kind of support.

I apologize for telling you all this off topic shit you don't care about. I blame bed rest and extreme boredom.

Edited May 13, 2015 by Maharincess

[NikSac]

NA and AA aren't for everybody. My meetings aren't associated with them. I'm an atheist and wasn't into praying at every meeting. But there are many great groups out there. I hope she finds some kind of support.

I apologize for telling you all this off topic shit you don't care about. I blame bed rest and extreme boredom.

 

Ugh I hope you heal fast and feel better soon!

 

I was curious about your comments on being atheist and AA/NA. I think Amber's more along the lines of lazy and using excuses not to go... but I do know the whole praying while pretending not to be religious thing turns a lot of people off of AA/NA.  Are you open to sharing what type of support group did work for you? (assuming it's a larger organized type of group that might be other places as well) 

[EmeraldGirl]

It can be hard to tell the difference between wine bottles and olive oil bottles, but I swear Amber has wine on the counter. The bottles are too fat for oil, and she doesn't strike me as a gourmet oil cook.

After saying that, she was the one calm, drama free head in NY - why can't she do that with men? It looks like she's flipping out on Matt next week ... Gary style. Some people just shouldn't be parents and should admit it. Ryan should be let off the hook (but not financially), and Amber should just take on the role of fun ain't. Sadly, I thought she was downright beautiful when she was high and thin (minus the lashes). Now she just seems so old. But she also had one of those faces that takes on the weight.

[FozzyBear]

It can be hard to tell the difference between wine bottles and olive oil bottles, but I swear Amber has wine on the counter. The bottles are too fat for oil, and she doesn't strike me as a gourmet oil cook.

After saying that, she was the one calm, drama free head in NY - why can't she do that with men? It looks like she's flipping out on Matt next week ... Gary style. Some people just shouldn't be parents and should admit it. Ryan should be let off the hook (but not financially), and Amber should just take on the role of fun ain't. Sadly, I thought she was downright beautiful when she was high and thin (minus the lashes). Now she just seems so old. But she also had one of those faces that takes on the weight.

Yup. This season I'm sort of remembering why I liked Amber a little in her 16 & Pregnant. She can have a lot of good intentions. However, she's just not up to life. Amber is dumb (God, even by TM standards she comes across as stupid. The girl looks confused by any task more complex that "let's sit on the couch")and lazy with a bad temper. She is years away from being able to take care of Leah. And even then, I'm thinking that by the time Leah hits 9 or 10 she's going to catch on to the fact that she's much smarter than her mom and can easily manipulate her. That's pretty much what goes on with Gary. He's knows he's much quicker than Amber and if he can just get her talking he can manipulate her into a fight. Yeah, I said it. GARY is smarter than Amber. Amber just makes me sad at this point. Life is going to be so hard for her.

[msblossom]

I was so sad to see this but I agree. I think the "no NA due to no anonymity" was probably a cover for "but I'm not taking pills, so I'm doing great" even though she's drinking. She didn't want someone telling her she couldn't drink either. I'm sure she had to go to meetings in "jel" so she must know about cross-addictions. I have a hard time believing that wine glass was full of some white-wine-colored nonalcoholic sparkling beverage. As usual with these girls I hope I'm wrong,

This would explain why she doesn't go to meetings.

I saw her tweet that she was drinking wine and she's fine with it bc she was only addicted to drugs not alcohol. I wonder how she feels about marajuana?

Matt also drinks bc I saw where he tweeted something along the same lines as Amber a few weeks ago that he's okay to drink bc his addiction was to painkillers.

Is there some new form of recovery that adheres to this that I don't know about?

[FozzyBear]

This would explain why she doesn't go to meetings.

I saw her tweet that she was drinking wine and she's fine with it bc she was only addicted to drugs not alcohol. I wonder how she feels about marajuana?

Matt also drinks bc I saw where he tweeted something along the same lines as Amber a few weeks ago that he's okay to drink bc his addiction was to painkillers.

Is there some new form of recovery that adheres to this that I don't know about?

Yes, there is. A friend of mine is a sociologist that researches addiction treatment and science. She's worked all over the world and has told me that the absence only coupled with the 12 step program isn't quite the treatment norm that it is in the USA. In others places the idea that someone who received treatments for one substance might continue to drink or smoke pot isn't that uncommon or scandalous. BTW she's pretty neutral on which system works better.

All that being said, Amber is displaying so many other poor decision making skills that I'm sure it's just a matter of time before everything goes to shit.

[GreatKazu]

This would explain why she doesn't go to meetings.

I saw her tweet that she was drinking wine and she's fine with it bc she was only addicted to drugs not alcohol. I wonder how she feels about marajuana?

Matt also drinks bc I saw where he tweeted something along the same lines as Amber a few weeks ago that he's okay to drink bc his addiction was to painkillers.

Is there some new form of recovery that adheres to this that I don't know about?

So, those two morons have confirmed they drink? Well, there you go folks. Amber is not sober. She can wipe her three year sobriety clean. Boy, this sure sounds exactly like Kim Richards aka Miss "I have been clean for three years!!!"

 

It clearly explains why she doesn't go to meetings. I was catching up on some old articles on Amber and she mentioned going to AA meetings during the time she was in prison.

[msblossom]

Yes, there is. A friend of mine is a sociologist that researches addiction treatment and science. She's worked all over the world and has told me that the absence only coupled with the 12 step program isn't quite the treatment norm that it is in the USA. In others places the idea that someone who received treatments for one substance might continue to drink or smoke pot isn't that uncommon or scandalous. BTW she's pretty neutral on which system works better.

All that being said, Amber is displaying so many other poor decision making skills that I'm sure it's just a matter of time before everything goes to shit.

Interesting. I don't know much about addiction recovery, but it seems it would be all too easy to use alcohol in lieu of drugs. It's a slippery slope. Amber is playing with fire.

[msblossom]

Today is Amber's birthday and she's celebrating with more wine. https://twitter.com/amberlportwood/status/598917491180568576

She's must be getting a lot of heat for it bc she's defended herself about 3 times today. And now Matt has made all his tweets private bc you can no longer see them unless you're following him. I bet people are giving him a ton of shit for the wine picnic he gave Amber today. https://twitter.com/amberlportwood/status/598929625541128192

https://twitter.com/amberlportwood/status/598929137907150848

https://twitter.com/amberlportwood/status/598930892581646337

[ginger90]

The wine? Questionable, imo. This, " People yes I drink wine on special occasions", is not so good, to me.

  I just can't believe she's 25 !!!

Edited May 15, 2015 by ginger90

[Lpeach22]

Today is Amber's birthday and she's celebrating with more wine. https://twitter.com/amberlportwood/status/598917491180568576

She's must be getting a lot of heat for it bc she's defended herself about 3 times today. And now Matt has made all his tweets private bc you can no longer see them unless you're following him. I bet people are giving him a ton of shit for the wine picnic he gave Amber today. https://twitter.com/amberlportwood/status/598929625541128192

https://twitter.com/amberlportwood/status/598929137907150848

https://twitter.com/amberlportwood/status/598930892581646337

WHOA!!! Good job investigating!!! I got on and her followers are blasting her (some are kissing her butt too though) She just totally outted herself big time. Her whole Twitter account are people telling her how strong she is and how far she's come. NOT.

What. A. Mess. She gets that nasty bf and stArts drinking and making excuses why it's ok. Train wreck ahead.

[msblossom]

WHOA!!! Good job investigating!!! I got on and her followers are blasting her (some are kissing her butt too though) She just totally outted herself big time. Her whole Twitter account are people telling her how strong she is and how far she's come. NOT.

What. A. Mess. She gets that nasty bf and stArts drinking and making excuses why it's ok. Train wreck ahead.

You make a good point. Amber may have picked up drinking as a result of Matt's habit with alcohol. Could be that he influenced her in this direction, because before Matt came around she wanted to be a sober coach (?) and work with women in addiction recovery. And she's since tweaked that to behavioral sciences in psychology and sociology, which might adhere more to the school of thought that Fozzybear spoke about upthread. Idk, I'm just speculating.

[poopchute]

"This heroin/meth/crack is no big deal guys, my problem was with pills!"

[missy jo]

My point was that from what I've seen I don't think Amber is serious about her recovery at all.

 

 

Agree. We've seen no sponsors, no meetings, no therapy - nada! If she was taking any constructive action to avoid relapse, I'm sure she'd be happy to talk about it.

 

There may be some addicts who can still drink casually, but IMO she is most likely not one of them.

 

maharincess, kudos on your sobriety and your discipline!

[FaithsMum]

Maybe NA is just not Amber's thing - and she doesn't want to outright say it since overall it's a respected programme.

If that's the case I can't fault her on that because it's not my thing either as I find the presumption that we all believe in a Christian God and must rely on a "higher power" tiresome. In addition, telling my shit to a room full of strangers several times a week is not my thing either.

I'm doubly fucked up since I'm currently hospitalised due to anorexia (prior to being hospitalised I had been clean three years but I no longer have the right to make medical decisions for myself and opiods are unfortunately forced on me) While I do want to regain my sanity, I avoid therapy as much as possible and I flat out refuse to attend group. However, unlike Amber, my family and friends are incredibly supportive and that is my therapy.

I'm not saying Amber isn't lazy and she does need to do something but not everyone champions therapy/NA or finds it to be helpful. Like Kim Richards, she needs to get a fucking hobby, or three.

[GreatKazu]

WHOA!!! Good job investigating!!! I got on and her followers are blasting her (some are kissing her butt too though) She just totally outted herself big time. Her whole Twitter account are people telling her how strong she is and how far she's come. NOT.

What. A. Mess. She gets that nasty bf and stArts drinking and making excuses why it's ok. Train wreck ahead.

This is another reason this show does such a disservice. You have these nitwit followers of these girls who blow kisses and air up their ass big time without realizing the dangers that come with an addict who is not taking her sobriety seriously. In the end it is Amber's choice, but to have 500k people tweet their support and advising you that you are so special, you are the bestest person ever, and all of this never-ending bullshit, it is just a bunch of stupidity all around.

[GreatKazu]

 

Maybe NA is just not Amber's thing - and she doesn't want to outright say it since overall it's a respected programme.

There are some old articles where Amber mentioned in some interviews that she was in AA the entire time she was in prison.

[NikSac]

Maybe NA is just not Amber's thing - and she doesn't want to outright say it since overall it's a respected programme.

If that's the case I can't fault her on that because it's not my thing either as I find the presumption that we all believe in a Christian God and must rely on a "higher power" tiresome. In addition, telling my shit to a room full of strangers several times a week is not my thing either.

I'm doubly fucked up since I'm currently hospitalised due to anorexia (prior to being hospitalised I had been clean three years but I no longer have the right to make medical decisions for myself and opiods are unfortunately forced on me) While I do want to regain my sanity, I avoid therapy as much as possible and I flat out refuse to attend group. However, unlike Amber, my family and friends are incredibly supportive and that is my therapy.

I'm not saying Amber isn't lazy and she does need to do something but not everyone champions therapy/NA or finds it to be helpful. Like Kim Richards, she needs to get a fucking hobby, or three.

 

Totally agree, it is just not for everyone. I think she needs some kind of support and I wish she could find something that works well for her. NA may be widely respected, but it's not for everyone - plus isn't their long term success rate something like 5%?  I think Amber's bigger problem is she practically seems like she wants to relapse, at least from what they show.

 

FaithsMum I'm glad you have supportive family and friends, and I wish you all the best of luck. Virtual hugs to you.

There are some old articles where Amber mentioned in some interviews that she was in AA the entire time she was in prison.

 

I doubt she had a choice.

[missy jo]

This is another reason this show does such a disservice. You have these nitwit followers of these girls who blow kisses and air up their ass big time without realizing the dangers that come with an addict who is not taking her sobriety seriously.

 

 

I'm opposed to censorship, but sometimes I want to make an exception for the saying "haters gonna hate." That's somehow become a legitimate counterpoint to reasoning such as "I wonder if an addict should be drinking wine on the regular." To which her followers say, "haterz gonna hate they r jus jellus of u"

 

There are some old articles where Amber mentioned in some interviews that she was in AA the entire time she was in prison.

 

 

Well then. The lack of a program doesn't bode well. Especially when coupled with the fact that she still has the same anger issues and behavioral patterns.

[FaithsMum]

Totally agree, it is just not for everyone. I think she needs some kind of support and I wish she could find something that works well for her. NA may be widely respected, but it's not for everyone - plus isn't their long term success rate something like 5%? I think Amber's bigger problem is she practically seems like she wants to relapse, at least from what they show.

FaithsMum I'm glad you have supportive family and friends, and I wish you all the best of luck. Virtual hugs to you.

Thank you! :)

I wish the same for her too and while NA/therapy may be the more traditional routes, they're not the only ones. Prior to being hospitalised when I craved drugs, I picked up a book or painted my nails or did something to distract myself until it passed. I do the same now when I feel the urge to obsess about my weight.

I'm not going to shit on NA etc because it works for many, but it's just not my thing... And so I found alternatives. Reading and posting on here is one of them!!

Of all the TM girls on all franchises, I'm rooting for Amber the hardest. Besides Chelsea I hate them all, so it isn't too difficult - but I quite like sober Amber and I have empathy for her since she seems pretty alone in the world. When an MTV producer who makes money off your trainwreck life is clearly your confidante and one of your few "friends" and is likely the most stable, rational adult in your life that is very, very sad.

[GreatKazu]

 

I doubt she had a choice.

She also attended prior to going to prison. She was not forced to attend AA in prison. It was a choice. It isn't as if it was part of her prison stint to attend.

 

 

The lack of a program doesn't bode well. Especially when coupled with the fact that she still has the same anger issues and behavioral patterns.

Exactly. And she seems to resort to blaming Gary for her outbursts. She can't blame him or anyone else for how she reacts. She is still in anger mode, ready to explode.

 

In a small way, I have empathy for Amber too. I enjoyed watching her on Dr. Phil and her interview with Dr. Drew. The girl has insights. I just think it gets blurred when she is out in the real world. I hate the abuser and addicted Amber, but I don't think the abuser exists because of the addiction. I think those are two separate issues.

Edited May 15, 2015 by GreatKazu

[cheatincheetos]

WHOA!!! Good job investigating!!! I got on and her followers are blasting her (some are kissing her butt too though) She just totally outted herself big time. Her whole Twitter account are people telling her how strong she is and how far she's come. NOT.

What. A. Mess. She gets that nasty bf and stArts drinking and making excuses why it's ok. Train wreck ahead.

How can they kiss her butt when it's always embedded in the couch? I know, I know, it's an expression... ;0

[Elizabeth9]

Amber actually scored above 12th grade level on reading part of pre GED Test. She scored in the 9th grade level with math, her biggest area of concern on the show. Just rewatched the episode where she took the practice GRE test and got her scores.

[cheatincheetos]

Where are the memes of Amber and her couch? Don't we have someone here who can come up with some funny pics?

http://cdn.meme.am/instances/11379297.jpg

 

I'd put Amber's face in ... but then I'd have to get off the couch for Photoshop :)

[FozzyBear]

Amber actually scored above 12th grade level on reading part of pre GED Test. She scored in the 9th grade level with math, her biggest area of concern on the show. Just rewatched the episode where she took the practice GRE test and got her scores.

Huh. My apologies. Good for her then. Does anyone know if she got her GED in jail?

[Elizabeth9]

She did, thankfully. I was so tired of hearing about it on the show!

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

Maybe NA is just not Amber's thing - and she doesn't want to outright say it since overall it's a respected programme.

If that's the case I can't fault her on that because it's not my thing either as I find the presumption that we all believe in a Christian God and must rely on a "higher power" tiresome. In addition, telling my shit to a room full of strangers several times a week is not my thing either.

I'm doubly fucked up since I'm currently hospitalised due to anorexia (prior to being hospitalised I had been clean three years but I no longer have the right to make medical decisions for myself and opiods are unfortunately forced on me) While I do want to regain my sanity, I avoid therapy as much as possible and I flat out refuse to attend group. However, unlike Amber, my family and friends are incredibly supportive and that is my therapy.

I'm not saying Amber isn't lazy and she does need to do something but not everyone champions therapy/NA or finds it to be helpful. Like Kim Richards, she needs to get a fucking hobby, or three.

FaithsMum - I've struggled with anorexia & food addiction ever since I was about 14. Hugs.

Yes, Amber definitely needs to do something (hobby, job, etc) that requires her to leave her house and keep some sort of schedule. I've found keeping yourself busy (even if just by reading these forums) can be helpful when those cravings/desires hit.

I think she's in some sort of college program now. Even if it's a diploma mill or something, at least it's (hypothetically) making her get up off her couch and keep a schedule.

Edited May 16, 2015 by MyPeopleAreNordic

[Lpeach22]

http://m.usmagazine.com/entertainment/news/amber-portwood-fiance-punches-wall-drinking-teen-mom-og-2015185

Highlight for tonight..

10 bucks says he's the one that started her drinking again...

[truelovekiss]

Ugh can Matt just go away? It's so sad watching this and seeing what a user he is, and then seeing Amber sigh about how in love she is. I'm not a huge Amber enthusiast, but I do think she deserves better than this crap bag. More importantly, Leah deserves to have her mom's focus on her.

[ginger90]

He seemed pretty coherent for someone who can't recall what just happened.

[Brooklynista]

I would put his ass out just for having his shoes on the bed. Fucking gross.

[Lpeach22]

Did anyone feel like there was more to their fight tonight than was shown?

[Madison Bumgarner]

Did anyone feel like there was more to their fight tonight than was shown?

I think so as well. Why would he punch the wall if it was just over her comment on having anxiety? I can't blame her. People stare at her because they want to let her know how horrible she is as a parent. It's fucked up, but it happens to her a lot. Maybe he brought up her addiction and/or jail time and it set her off. Or perhaps he brought up her not trying harder to get more time with Leah. It was definitely more than was mentioned.

Edited May 19, 2015 by kp199

[SaveLevi]

Addiction is so hard to figure. Sometimes, addicts can honestly use a substance to which s/he has not had a problem managing and be okay. I don't personally identify as someone with an addiction, but I worked as a therapist in substance abuse counseling for many years. The most honest thing I can say about recovery is that it's extremely personal. Some people cannot stay sober without multiple meetings every week, some don't attend at all and do fine. I had clients who battled opiate addiction but were able to have a beer now and then and still considered themselves sober and in recovery. Others tried this and found it a gateway back to illness and addiction.

 

I will note that the majority of my clients told me that AA was much preferred to NA, even if the problem substance was narcotics. Seems that NA, at least in the region where my clients were attending, was less like a supportive network and more like a place to reminisce about the glory days of using. I attributed this to NA not having the structure that AA does, lacking the wisdom and support of the older, more experienced recovering persons. Who knows if this is a general theme, but it's interesting.

 

So yeah, Amber may be okay with wine here and there and she may be okay not attending meetings. She can stay clean and healthy as long as her general lifestyle works for her and allows her to function without dependency issues. For me, the biggest problem is that Matt sounds like someone who does NOT have his shit and his dependency issues under control, and that's not the kind of person that a recovering individual will have success being around. Changing your people, places, and things is what makes a difference...living differently, engaging in activities that are healthy and positive, people who are supportive and healthy, being in places that are conducive to making good choices. Hanging with Matt, who appears to not have his sobriety in check at all, in sin city is probably not the best use of Amber's time, at least as far as her health is concerned.