S08.E19: Not to Stir the Pot, But...

[Mkay]

2 hours ago, ghoulina said:

Passion is overrated. Passion is great in the beginning. But you need a lot more than that to sustain a long term relationship. I certainly don't feel passionate about my husband every day, but I know I can trust him and count on him. He's great with our kids and that means more to me than anything. I think that's what Chelsea sees in Cole. And I think they're both smitten with each other as well. They're kind of dorky about it, but that's okay. 

As for Adumb - he's a sperm donor only. Chelsea doesn't have to push anything. Aubree knows who's there for every holiday, who takes her to every father-daughter dance, who teaches her new life skills. And it ain't Adumb. She's only getting her name hyphenated; she's still retaining Lind. I think that's pretty reasonable for a kid who's living in a house all DeBoers. 

This.  Me and my ex were dorky, fun, cheesy, always excited to see each other.  We acted just like Chelsea and Cole. We were young and full of love and energy.  Always together, always excited to see him walk in the door from work.  He’d hold out his arms and call me by my nickname and I jumped up and wrapped my legs around him.  Lol everyday.  Love like that exists.  We were together 7 yrs. I have nothing bad to say about him even today.  I believe Chelsea and Cole have found their match in each other.  

[heatherchandler]

3 hours ago, Kazu said:

 

I hated that Nessa didn't ask Kanal why is she wanting to rekindle the relationship. That was a perfect opportunity since Kanal brought it up.

Nessa is the WORST interviewer.  Well Dr. Drew is the worst, but Nessa comes in second.

She never asks the right questions!  She doesn't know how to follow up.  We need Leslie Stahl at one of the aftershows or reunions.

[monagatuna]

2 hours ago, Birdee said:

Yes! When I was younger, love was love-the-top gestures and passionate arguments and wanting things to be perfect. Now? Love is when my husband fills my water bottle every night and puts in the fridge because he knows I'm a mess in the morning and will forget it otherwise. 

That's really sweet. One of my favorite things to do for my SO is get her morning coffee. I'm a morning person and she's not, and it's one of those easy nice things to do for someone to make their morning a bit easier. That, and naked jumping jacks.

 

I do think you've nailed it. We've seen the ugly side of Chelsea, where she kept running back to Adam whenever he would call, moving him into her house, talking about him in front of Aubree, flunking out of hair school, etc. Now a young, handsome, sweet guy swoops in and is kind, loving, faithful, and down-to-earth? Most of us take a lot longer to appreciate the little (and big) things a guy like Cole brings to the table. She just got there a little faster than most people. I think she's got the benefit of rather level-headed people in her life, like Randy and Chelsey, and even her mother to a degree. Hell, Aubree herself is a pretty level-headed kid. I think Chelsea's just surrounded by low-maintenance people and it makes her come down a bit herself.

[FairyDusted]

4 minutes ago, monagatuna said:

That's really sweet. One of my favorite things to do for my SO is get her morning coffee. I'm a morning person and she's not, and it's one of those easy nice things to do for someone to make their morning a bit easier. That, and naked jumping jacks.

 

I do think you've nailed it. We've seen the ugly side of Chelsea, where she kept running back to Adam whenever he would call, moving him into her house, talking about him in front of Aubree, flunking out of hair school, etc. Now a young, handsome, sweet guy swoops in and is kind, loving, faithful, and down-to-earth? Most of us take a lot longer to appreciate the little (and big) things a guy like Cole brings to the table. She just got there a little faster than most people. I think she's got the benefit of rather level-headed people in her life, like Randy and Chelsey, and even her mother to a degree. Hell, Aubree herself is a pretty level-headed kid. I think Chelsea's just surrounded by low-maintenance people and it makes her come down a bit herself.

Full quote for the awesomeness of it ALL!

LMAO at Naked Jumping Jacks!!!! I love it!

[Christina87]

8 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

I have to say, that if a young thin white woman who’s a single mom without a college education is seen to have “settled” because she partnered with a good looking white man with a full time job who was kind, nurturing to her child and interested in raising a family with her, even IF it’s not some grand romantic passion I am VERY GLAD I have no interest in living a heteronormative lifestyle cause women just cannot win. 

I think Chelsea and Cole disagree and irritate each other like everyone else, they probably just agree it’s bad manners to talk about it on social media or on camera. ANYONE that’s not you will get on your nerves- my own MOTHER who is my favorite being gets on my nerves sometimes. 

 

Also welcome to the boards!!! ?

 

I don't want to debate whether Chelsea settled, but I do think it's possible for someone to look perfect on paper, but you're settling for them because they're not right for you. Heck, movies are made about this all the time! Like in the notebook...there is no way in heck I would have left Captain McHottypants for Mr. Fixer Upper (can't remember their names lol), but for some reason, he was a better fit for Rachel McAdams' character in her opinion, and staying with her hot war hero would have been settling for her. Same thing in Titanic...Cal was perfect on paper, and he wasn't a nice person, but was Jack really that "nice" either (or rose, for that matter)? And I know those are movies, but it happens all the time. I've known several people who have found the "perfect" guy or girl, but for whatever reason, feel like they're settling because the person is just missing something essential that they need. I have noticed that most of the time, they end up marrying the person through either inertia or because they figure they won't do better, and then start pretending everything is great (and I do think it's pretending when they were not sure a week before, and then suddenly they are the BESSST FIANCÉ EVERRR!). Jury's out on how happy they really are. My best friend married a guy that she felt she was settling for, and now over a year later, I can tell they do genuinely have a happy marriage. Obviously I'm not married, and Cole is hot (hotter than anyone I've dated!), loving, hard-working, and family oriented, but I would not be with him because I don't gravitate to that personality. It may sound crude when talking about people, but one man's trash is another's treasure! Anyone could settle for anyone, in my opinion. The really ugly, unaccomplished girl could settle for the hot doctor who adores her if the circumstances are right, even though everyone else may perceive it to be the other way around. 

Edited May 10, 2018 by Christina87

[Scarlett45]

26 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

I don't want to debate whether Chelsea settled, but I do think it's possible for someone to look perfect on paper, but you're settling for them because they're not right for you. Heck, movies are made about this all the time! Like in the notebook...there is no way in heck I would have left Captain McHottypants for Mr. Fixer Upper (can't remember their names lol), but for some reason, he was a better fit for Rachel McAdams' character in her opinion, and staying with her hot war hero would have been settling for her. Same thing in Titanic...Cal was perfect on paper, and he wasn't a nice person, but was Jack really that "nice" either (or rose, for that matter)? And I know those are movies, but it happens all the time. I've known several people who have found the "perfect" guy or girl, but for whatever reason, feel like they're settling because the person is just missing something essential that they need. I have noticed that most of the time, they end up marrying the person through either inertia or because they figure they won't do better, and then start pretending everything is great (and I do think it's pretending when they were not sure a week before, and then suddenly they are the BESSST FIANCÉ EVERRR!). Jury's out on how happy they really are. My best friend married a guy that she felt she was settling for, and now over a year later, I can tell they do genuinely have a happy marriage. Obviously I'm not married, and Cole is hot (hotter than anyone I've dated!), loving, hard-working, and family oriented, but I would not be with him because I don't gravitate to that personality. It may sound crude when talking about people, but one man's trash is another's treasure! Anyone could settle for anyone, in my opinion. The really ugly, unaccomplished girl could settle for the hot doctor who adores her if the circumstances are right, even though everyone else may perceive it to be the other way around. 

I see what you’re saying @Christina87  someone can be really good “on paper” but not right for someone. 

Of course I know nothing because 1. I cannot look into Chelsea and Cole’s souls, 2. I am not married nor am I going to be married so my opinion means nothing BUT I do think a lot of it comes down to what people want out of a relationship/partnership/marriage. 

For some people having a companion who shares your lifestyle & family goals, personal values and who meets your need for partnered sex may be the BEES KNEES, for others it may be settling. 

[lezlers]

On ‎5‎/‎8‎/‎2018 at 11:24 AM, DudeLeaveMeAlone said:

So I'm watching this stupid after show with Nessa and EJ Johnson. They brought up the Facebook post where David said Kail's fingers are greasy from Cheetos. Kail responded to an audience questions with "David got fired for a reason." And Nessa says "No, he didn't get fired..." and Kail interrupts saying "He DID get fired!" And Nessa says "I think MTV just decided to not film with him anymore."

So, if someone decides to not work with you anymore, that's not getting fired? No wonder David thinks he wasn't fired.

It would've been awesome if Kail responded "yeah, that would be getting FIRED."   I mean, wtf? Who is she, Sarah Huckabee Sanders?

On ‎5‎/‎8‎/‎2018 at 11:52 AM, kicksave said:

Kristen, the producer, is really awful. Stirring it up with Barb, acting all simpatico and then turning around doing the same thing with Jenelle. So disingenuous and fake. 

I seriously want to slap her faux concern expression off of her face.  I loathe that woman.

Edited May 10, 2018 by lezlers

[Christina87]

16 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

I see what you’re saying @Christina87  someone can be really good “on paper” but not right for someone. 

Of course I know nothing because 1. I cannot look into Chelsea and Cole’s souls, 2. I am not married nor am I going to be married so my opinion means nothing BUT I do think a lot of it comes down to what people want out of a relationship/partnership/marriage. 

For some people having a companion who shares your lifestyle & family goals, personal values and who meets your need for partnered sex may be the BEES KNEES, for others it may be settling. 

Right! I feel like it can get super philosophical, but you're right, we can't look into anyone's soul, so everyone may perceive someone to have settled (or not settled) when in actuality it is the other way around. Then you have the people who have super high expectations, who won't consider being with anyone unless the "wow" factor is there in every area that's important to them, and then you have people with no standards (cough, jenelle, cough). I think most people fall somewhere in the middle. I feel like if I were Chelsea, I would see it as settling (even putting myself in her shoes), but since I have no way to know what's really in her heart, maybe she sees it differently. I'm an over thinker, and I'm constantly worried about things like, "can we have intellectual discussions together? If our discussions aren't deep, is he going to get bored with me? Are we going to have anything to talk about in ten years? Are things getting repetitive to the level where it's a problem? Is there any sign of him thinking it's a problem? Is he storing pent up anger because he agrees with me too much? If I tried to get him to stand up for himself, would he resent me because he has to be prodded to be masculine? Would he start feeling like I wear the pants and decide the dynamic is a problem? Does he think about gender roles to that extent? What has he said about genders before?" I tend to obsess over things like that, but then again, I look for an intellectual type as my #2 requirement (#1 is kindness, obviously). Chelsea, not being intellectual herself, may be fine with goofy baby voices and silliness 24/7, and she may never stop to worry that Cole is tired of it or that they may not be compatible in ten years, and he may not either. And conversely, she may worry about things that I would never in a million years think of. I guess it boils down to us all being different and having different standards in various areas...WHICH IS WHAT MAKES DATING SO COMPLICATED, hahahahaha!

[Lynnlynnlynn586]

On 5/7/2018 at 10:30 PM, Linny said:

"'Jace told me when Kaiser poops that David gets mad and spanks Kaiser.' [Sighing] Just, like, whatever, dude." Oh, fuck me, I'm so glad this show is back. It's like we had to endure the tedious mediocrity of TM OG in order to be rewarded with the glorious mecca of trashy drama that is TM2. Nothing beats craggy faced Jenelle crying that the whole world's against her and is preventing her from achieving domestic bliss with her ignorant redneck husband.

I really don't want to give Javi and Briana any attention, because we all know that union was 100% born from their mutual fame-whoring disposition, but I find it hilarious how deathly serious Leah acted about everything. I mean, this is LEAH, the girl who cheated her way through her marriages, claiming to have a moral obligation to tell Kail the truth about her ex-husband moving on with another woman. Save me the explanation about "girl code," I think this was more about Leah not particularly vibing with Briana and jumping on a chance to gossip about her.

Chelsea's kids are adorable and Adam's a fuck up. I could copy and paste this sentence into my TM2 posts from now to eternity and it would still be true. Honestly, Chelsea should worry less about changing Aubree's last name and be more concerned with Adam's larger role in Aubree's life. He's barely physically present, has no desire to pay child support, and can't stay sober or out of court. I'd be pushing for him to terminate his parental rights, as he clearly can't handle even bare-minimum involvement.

The audacity of Kail, who has three kids by three different men, to sit there and make snide comments about Briana's story being "messy" just kills me. Look in the mirror, honey, because you're in no way superior to Briana. I don't really know why she thought she was entitled to give her blessing to Javi hanging out with Briana on vacation. She sure as shit didn't get clearance from Javi when inviting Chris Lopez or any other dudes over to her house to fuck, so she needs to back off and respect Javi's decisions. She can't control everything he does, much as she wishes she could.

 

On 5/7/2018 at 10:30 PM, Linny said:

"'Jace told me when Kaiser poops that David gets mad and spanks Kaiser.' [Sighing] Just, like, whatever, dude." Oh, fuck me, I'm so glad this show is back. It's like we had to endure the tedious mediocrity of TM OG in order to be rewarded with the glorious mecca of trashy drama that is TM2. Nothing beats craggy faced Jenelle crying that the whole world's against her and is preventing her from achieving domestic bliss with her ignorant redneck husband.

I really don't want to give Javi and Briana any attention, because we all know that union was 100% born from their mutual fame-whoring disposition, but I find it hilarious how deathly serious Leah acted about everything. I mean, this is LEAH, the girl who cheated her way through her marriages, claiming to have a moral obligation to tell Kail the truth about her ex-husband moving on with another woman. Save me the explanation about "girl code," I think this was more about Leah not particularly vibing with Briana and jumping on a chance to gossip about her.

Chelsea's kids are adorable and Adam's a fuck up. I could copy and paste this sentence into my TM2 posts from now to eternity and it would still be true. Honestly, Chelsea should worry less about changing Aubree's last name and be more concerned with Adam's larger role in Aubree's life. He's barely physically present, has no desire to pay child support, and can't stay sober or out of court. I'd be pushing for him to terminate his parental rights, as he clearly can't handle even bare-minimum involvement.

The audacity of Kail, who has three kids by three different men, to sit there and make snide comments about Briana's story being "messy" just kills me. Look in the mirror, honey, because you're in no way superior to Briana. I don't really know why she thought she was entitled to give her blessing to Javi hanging out with Briana on vacation. She sure as shit didn't get clearance from Javi when inviting Chris Lopez or any other dudes over to her house to fuck, so she needs to back off and respect Javi's decisions. She can't control everything he does, much as she wishes she could.

Amen

[lezlers]

22 hours ago, FrankieTankie said:

No one is gonna mention how annoying Brianna’s worthless sister is.... all that dump truck talks about is how tough she is ... the bitch gets on my nerves .... also wtf does she do for living or is she a government leach ?!

I've always found that the people who constantly talk about how tough they are all the time are usually the biggest pussies.  

[Rebecca]

I haven’t even finished the episode yet but I had to pause to say that: “Well, Jesus Christ, haven’t you learned your lesson by now...?” should be the actual name of this show. None of them have been teens in a long time and some of them aren’t even mothers.

[BitterApple]

38 minutes ago, lezlers said:

 

I seriously want to slap her faux concern expression off of her face.  I loathe that woman.

I need someone to throat punch her. She is truly awful. The worst thing about it is after all the shit she's witnessed, she's more sympathetic to Jenelle, and more judgmental towards Barb. 

Also, for as much as we criticize UBT, it wouldn't surprise me if a large number of those bruises came from Jenelle. She has a violent temper as well, and no patience for Kaiser.

[shoovenbooty]

Do we know why Kail called her baby "Baby Lo/Low" for a nickname? For Lopez? Or Lowrey? (I know it's pronounced differently, but still the first 2 or 3 letters). And then went on to name him something that sounded nothing like it, and more like a laundry soap? Why not name him Logan and let your kids keep calling him Lo?

[lezlers]

15 hours ago, BARISTA said:

I think everyone agrees that Chelsea's a great mom, her kids are very well taken care of and are happy, Cole is a great guy and Adumb is an asshole. Everyone wants the best for Chelsea, myself included. 

I just do not buy that Cole is her soul mate and she is 100% happy with him, period. I think she is content and settled. I think she gave up looking for her soul mate cause it was taking too long. She found a good guy who was into her and she went for it. And I don't even blame her for that, I just wish she didn't force the "perfect world" image down our throats so much, both on TM and on social media, it feels like she's trying to convince herself of it. Their love comes across as phoney to me and that's just my opinion. Are you telling me they live together as a married couple with 2 nearly 3 kids and never as much as snap at each other on a rough day? I think it's natural to disagree with your spouse now and then, and to even get irritated at your spouse every once in a while lol ! You still love them to bits, but we are all human. 

When I see other TM couples' lives playing out, I don't have the same gut feeling that it's phoney, and I think that's cause they show us both the good and bad times in their lives, examples - Jo and Vee, Tyler and Cate, Corey and Miranda, Gary and Kristina. 

I think Chelsea settled for Cole the way Maci settled for Taylor, I don't think either are overly interested in/attracted to these guys, there is no real chemistry/passion/depth to the relationshps, it's a surface attraction and an emotional attachment formed out of insecurities. 

I don't think Chelsea would be the first person to only post the sunny, happy pictures of her relationship on social media.  I mean, MOST people are like that.  I tend to post really snarky stuff about my kids and I can't tell you how many people have walked up to me and told me how much they love my facebook posts because I'm REAL and show what it's actually like to have small children at home.  So the vast majority of people display the image they want to be perceived as on social media.  That doesn't mean their relationship is fake and they're not in love with their spouse.  Also, we're seeing a very small portion of their lives on the show.  I'm sure they have fights and disagreements, everyone does.  That doesn't necessarily mean we'll see it.  It's not like she's Jenelle or Kail who don't know how to be in a happy, adult relationship and tend to have drama 24/7.

[Christina87]

2 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

I need someone to throat punch her. She is truly awful. The worst thing about it is after all the shit she's witnessed, she's more sympathetic to Jenelle, and more judgmental towards Barb. 

Also, for as much as we criticize UBT, it wouldn't surprise me if a large number of those bruises came from Jenelle. She has a violent temper as well, and no patience for Kaiser.

Gosh, I hate her!!! I've never been so mad as when she was whining that allllllll Jenelle waaaaanted was for her to give jace back! It's been eeeeeeight years!!! I'm going to assume she has an IQ of above 50, so she should clearly be able to see why Jenelle doesn't need jace back. Therefore, she is willing to put a child in danger and misery just to keep her "star" happy. 

[FairyDusted]

Janelle can cry all she wants but Barb has full permanent custody of Jace.

I've been so focused on UBT and Janelle being lazy I hadn't considered her harming Kaiser until @BitterApple mentioned it. I agree. I'm thinking back to Kai being sick and crying and she roughly slammed him into his crib and slammed his door shut. This family is doomed. Won't be surprised to see it on LIVE P.D.

[woodscommaelle]

On 5/8/2018 at 5:32 PM, Kazu said:

I fucking double dare that puta to do it.

lol

Can someone please post the YouTube of 'baby cries when mom sings? (Rod Stewart song) 1. It's the sweetest video. And 2. Watson reminds me so much of this baby.

[IDreamofJoaquin]

Janelle is so pathetic.  I have nothing more to add that no one else has already. 

Kail and her baby name announcement.  Please.  I wonder if she called him Baby Lo for some long waiting to see if Chris was going to stay in the picture.  I don't know the baby's last name.

[lexsaysso]

On 5/1/2018 at 11:38 AM, guilfoyleatpp said:

I've commented on this before, but it's been a while...I'm not a betting woman, but I'm willing to wager that after the Amber abuse incident, MTV and the TM production company got so much heat that they now intentionally leave anything that's disturbing/criminal on the cutting room floor. They're "documentarians" but also "producers" trying to balance keeping their talent happy and not creating undue legal complications for any parties. 

It makes sense that we see secondary and tertiary characters doing more illegal things than the moms themselves. They don't care that much about the likes of Ryan and Adam and David. 

There was also that now deleted reddit AMA with the camera man talking about why he quit and, in particular, Leah's messy messy house.

Whatttttt??!!! “Now deleted” as in it had been wiped off the internet earth ? Or “now deleted” as in its off of reddit but some kind soul has it uploaded somewhere that I can read it?

[BXD]

Unpopular opinion: I was with Leah on this one. She very clearly looked uncomfortable, and Kail had a right to know. Kail would have been furious if she found out Leah knew and didnt tell her, and honestly I dont see Leah as someone who begs for or needs the drama. You could also see a huge difference in the way Leah told Kail and the way Javi told Briana. Javi had a stupid smirk on the whole time because you KNOW he loves the drama. 

I also love seeing Kail and Jo have adult conversations together. I love Jo, and it makes me happy when they get along. 

The best thing about this episode was thag Briana’s crazy mother had no screen time. I cant stand her and she makes the Briana scenes 10000000xxx less bearable. 

[lezlers]

17 hours ago, heatherchandler said:

Nessa is the WORST interviewer.  Well Dr. Drew is the worst, but Nessa comes in second.

She never asks the right questions!  She doesn't know how to follow up.  We need Leslie Stahl at one of the aftershows or reunions.

Mtv would never allow it.  They want their "talent" to be coddled.   Exhibit A: that horrible producer Kristin.

17 hours ago, monagatuna said:

That's really sweet. One of my favorite things to do for my SO is get her morning coffee. I'm a morning person and she's not, and it's one of those easy nice things to do for someone to make their morning a bit easier. That, and naked jumping jacks.

 

I do think you've nailed it. We've seen the ugly side of Chelsea, where she kept running back to Adam whenever he would call, moving him into her house, talking about him in front of Aubree, flunking out of hair school, etc. Now a young, handsome, sweet guy swoops in and is kind, loving, faithful, and down-to-earth? Most of us take a lot longer to appreciate the little (and big) things a guy like Cole brings to the table. She just got there a little faster than most people. I think she's got the benefit of rather level-headed people in her life, like Randy and Chelsey, and even her mother to a degree. Hell, Aubree herself is a pretty level-headed kid. I think Chelsea's just surrounded by low-maintenance people and it makes her come down a bit herself.

That sounds really painful.  LOL.

14 hours ago, Christina87 said:

I don't want to debate whether Chelsea settled, but I do think it's possible for someone to look perfect on paper, but you're settling for them because they're not right for you. Heck, movies are made about this all the time! Like in the notebook...there is no way in heck I would have left Captain McHottypants for Mr. Fixer Upper (can't remember their names lol), but for some reason, he was a better fit for Rachel McAdams' character in her opinion, and staying with her hot war hero would have been settling for her. Same thing in Titanic...Cal was perfect on paper, and he wasn't a nice person, but was Jack really that "nice" either (or rose, for that matter)? And I know those are movies, but it happens all the time. I've known several people who have found the "perfect" guy or girl, but for whatever reason, feel like they're settling because the person is just missing something essential that they need. I have noticed that most of the time, they end up marrying the person through either inertia or because they figure they won't do better, and then start pretending everything is great (and I do think it's pretending when they were not sure a week before, and then suddenly they are the BESSST FIANCÉ EVERRR!). Jury's out on how happy they really are. My best friend married a guy that she felt she was settling for, and now over a year later, I can tell they do genuinely have a happy marriage. Obviously I'm not married, and Cole is hot (hotter than anyone I've dated!), loving, hard-working, and family oriented, but I would not be with him because I don't gravitate to that personality. It may sound crude when talking about people, but one man's trash is another's treasure! Anyone could settle for anyone, in my opinion. The really ugly, unaccomplished girl could settle for the hot doctor who adores her if the circumstances are right, even though everyone else may perceive it to be the other way around. 

I think Splain might be right, it seems like you might be projecting a little.  Cole really does seem to be Chelsea's match and I don't see her settling at all.  Perhaps you're sensing something no one else is picking up on, or perhaps you're seeing yourself in Chelsea and a past relationship.   I don't think at this point there's anything she or Cole could do to convince you they're truly in love and happy together.  We're all entitled to our opinions.  :) 

[lezlers]

13 hours ago, Christina87 said:

Right! I feel like it can get super philosophical, but you're right, we can't look into anyone's soul, so everyone may perceive someone to have settled (or not settled) when in actuality it is the other way around. Then you have the people who have super high expectations, who won't consider being with anyone unless the "wow" factor is there in every area that's important to them, and then you have people with no standards (cough, jenelle, cough). I think most people fall somewhere in the middle. I feel like if I were Chelsea, I would see it as settling (even putting myself in her shoes), but since I have no way to know what's really in her heart, maybe she sees it differently. I'm an over thinker, and I'm constantly worried about things like, "can we have intellectual discussions together? If our discussions aren't deep, is he going to get bored with me? Are we going to have anything to talk about in ten years? Are things getting repetitive to the level where it's a problem? Is there any sign of him thinking it's a problem? Is he storing pent up anger because he agrees with me too much? If I tried to get him to stand up for himself, would he resent me because he has to be prodded to be masculine? Would he start feeling like I wear the pants and decide the dynamic is a problem? Does he think about gender roles to that extent? What has he said about genders before?" I tend to obsess over things like that, but then again, I look for an intellectual type as my #2 requirement (#1 is kindness, obviously). Chelsea, not being intellectual herself, may be fine with goofy baby voices and silliness 24/7, and she may never stop to worry that Cole is tired of it or that they may not be compatible in ten years, and he may not either. And conversely, she may worry about things that I would never in a million years think of. I guess it boils down to us all being different and having different standards in various areas...WHICH IS WHAT MAKES DATING SO COMPLICATED, hahahahaha!

Well that's not fair!  Jenelle has standards!  They have to have a penis, a criminal record and be mentally unstable.   ;)

[Jax7917]

I feel horrible for Jenelle's kids. They have absolutely no one on their side or someone normal to look up to. Barb loves Jace even though she is undoubtedly crazy herself. But the other 2 kids are out of a grandparent because Jenelle will never let her be a part of their lives. Kaiser has no hope with Jenelle as his mother, Nathan as his father and David as his step-parent. It's just negligence paired with abuse and parents who give no shits about him... and then Ensley has Jenelle and David as parents, and they are his parents for life regardless of the inevitable divorce that will come one day. And they will obviously have more kids in-between because well, Jenelle likes being pregnant so she can hold on to her man of the moment and also because she can complain with "duuuuudeeee, i'm tired because im pregnant" as an excuse not to do anything with her life.

[Kazu]

17 hours ago, monagatuna said:

That's really sweet. One of my favorite things to do for my SO is get her morning coffee. I'm a morning person and she's not, and it's one of those easy nice things to do for someone to make their morning a bit easier. That, and naked jumping jacks.

 

Honey, when did you join our forums?

lol

I read this and thought, my husband is here!

When my husband and I are happy or excited about something, we sometimes say "happy dance" and do the Roseanne Conner dance.

@Christina87

Quote

I'm an over thinker, and I'm constantly worried about things like, "can we have intellectual discussions together? If our discussions aren't deep, is he going to get bored with me? Are we going to have anything to talk about in ten years? Are things getting repetitive to the level where it's a problem? Is there any sign of him thinking it's a problem? Is he storing pent up anger because he agrees with me too much? If I tried to get him to stand up for himself, would he resent me because he has to be prodded to be masculine? Would he start feeling like I wear the pants and decide the dynamic is a problem? Does he think about gender roles to that extent? What has he said about genders before?" I tend to obsess over things like that,

That is mentally a lot of work and that in itself can cause fractures in a relationship.

Most of what you are doing is projection, as others have noted after you brought up all that information about yourself. As @lezlers pointed out, you are projecting something from your past.

All this talk about settling, let's not forget Chelsea had settled for Adumb for quite some time. 

9 hours ago, lexsaysso said:

Whatttttt??!!! “Now deleted” as in it had been wiped off the internet earth ? Or “now deleted” as in its off of reddit but some kind soul has it uploaded somewhere that I can read it?

Here you go:

http://www.alloy.com/entertainment/teen-mom-camera-man-reddit-ama-leah-messer-worst-mom-barbara-evans-voice-670/

 

@woodscommaelle ask and you shall receive:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qs6EKNklDds

Edited May 10, 2018 by Kazu

[Rebecca]

Brittany was so unnecessarily rude to the hairstylist that came, “girl, let me tell you, my hair needs to be curled on fleek.” Abrasive and rude but no surprise from her. Plus, like the stylist was going to do a shitty job until Brittany said to do a good job... I just don’t like her. I like her more than Briana but that means nothing because I can’t stand Briana even a tiny bit. 

Leah never said that Briana said that she and Javi were sharing a room. She said that Briana said they were staying in the same hotel. Of course Kailyn had to make it more dramatic when she told Jo. Kailyn can also fuck off for thinking she can have an opinion about who Javi dates, she wouldn’t even tell him who she was “dating” when she was banging her new baby’s dad. That said, it’s really tacky as hell to me to bring your former stepson on a supposedly special trip for just him and his brother only to then secretly plan a meet up with a new chick you’re not even dating but banging, and her children and other relatives. Especially a kid as sensitive as Isaac. He could think this is Javi’s new family or something and be very upset and confused about his position in it. And Roxanne, of all people, telling Javi to “keep your cool” about the reunion - ahahaha. Remember her restrained coolness when she was jumping on the booth of a restaurant to scream at her first granddaughter’s father, calling him a bitch, etc.? 

I thought it was a strange message Chelsea was sending Aubree with her whole “you’re a strong girl who just does what she wants and doesn’t care what anyone thinks” when Aubree said she was changing her name even though she knew it would upset her father. Yeah, in this SPECIFIC case it should be Aubree’s choice and Adam has no room to talk considering what a shitty father he is, but in general it’s not a good thing for a kid to “do what she wants regardless” of what an adult thinks. I understand Chelsea’s point in this specific scenario but I think she addressed it wrong. Aubree is still too young to understand all the nuances of it all. Chelsea isn’t going to like it when, as a teen, Aubree does what she wants without caring what will upset Chelsea or another parent/adult. On the other hand, I feel like Aubree will be more mature than Chelsea soon. Adam should just eliminate himself from Aubree’s life at this point. Disgusting that he suggested all his past owes support be forgiven to change Aubree’s name to fit the rest of her family she actually interacts with.

Jenelle can fuck herself. The common denominator is YOU, bitch. And why am I not surprised that David is the kind of person that thinks “hisself” is a valid word choice. Jenelle thinks the worst thing in the whole world is someone making her “upset.” She disgusts me. No one feels one bit sorry for you, _ _ _ _. 

Edited May 10, 2018 by Rebecca

[heatherchandler]

15 hours ago, lezlers said:

I seriously want to slap her faux concern expression off of her face.  I loathe that woman.

 

"JENELLLLLLEEEYYYYYYY"

Uggh it makes me sick.

Edited May 10, 2018 by heatherchandler

[Birdee]

27 minutes ago, Rebecca said:

Adam should just eliminate himself from Aubree’s life at this point. Disgusting that he suggested all his past owes support be forgiven to change Aubree’s name to fit the rest of her family she actually interacts with.

 

Between that and the mistake comment, poor Aubree will have no doubt about where she stands with her dad. At least she has Cole and Randy, because I would think knowing your bio-dad felt like that about you could really mess someone up.

I hope Adam ends up alone and when he's old his daughters have to pick out his nursing home. And I hope it ends badly.

[BitterApple]

34 minutes ago, Rebecca said:

 I understand Chelsea’s point in this specific scenario but I think she addressed it wrong. 

 

Chelsea handles a lot of things with Aubrey badly whether it's discipline, adjusting to a new baby or changing her name. I don't think she does it intentionally, it's just that she's not very smart and doesn't know any better. I'm sure she'd be thrilled for Adam to drop out of the picture so Superhero Cole can be the only father in Aubree's life, but unfortunately for Chelsea, Aubree loves her bio dad and clearly doesn't want to cut ties. I noticed when Chelsea brought up the name change in the car, the first words out of Aubree's mouth were "I still want to keep Lind." I highly doubt Aubree would've even considered adding DeBoer if Chelsea hadn't suggested it a hundred billion times. Adam sucks, but kids often have an irrational love and attachment for shitty parents. Chelsea can rewrite history all she wants, but it isn't going to change that.

Edited May 10, 2018 by BitterApple

[Kazu]

Quote

I noticed when Chelsea brought up the name change in the car, the first words out of Aubree's mouth were "I still want to keep Lind." I highly doubt Aubree would've even considered adding DeBoer if Chelsea hadn't suggested it a hundred billion times. Adam sucks, but kids often have an irrational love and attachment for shitty parents. 

To be fair, Adumb probably enforced that with her after the name change was brought to his attention. It is just one possible reason, not the only reason. I could see him being his usual controlling way with Aubree by telling her what she should say. That is how he rolls. It is how he did it with Chelsea when they were a couple. He was always telling her what she should do.

I don't know how much manipulation Adumb pulls on Aubree, but I know it happens. I can see him making Aubree feel guilty about the name issue and informing her that people are trying to cut him out of her life. He doesn't want anything to do with her, but he will make damn sure that she sees it as other people (Chelsea, Randy, Cole) are the ones who are at fault for that happening, not him.

Adumb is treating Aubree the same way he treats all the females in his life.

Just because someone is your relative, it doesn't mean you have to have a relationship with them, especially when it is an abusive fuck. People can't help who their parents are, but they can choose to cut them out of their lives. I hope Aubree kicks that asshole to the curb one day.

Edited May 10, 2018 by Kazu

[Lemur]

So how many money do you think it'd take for Adam to sign off on having his parental rights terminated?

[CaliforniaLove]

Just to put another perspective on Aubree wanting to keep "Lind"...it could have nothing to do with Adumb or his family & be about the fact that it's the name she has had since birth (and she has gone through what, 4 grades with it in a classroom setting?). She could be the 8 year old version of Kelly Taylor. She chooses herself! :-)

[Birdee]

6 minutes ago, CaliforniaLove said:

Just to put another perspective on Aubree wanting to keep "Lind"...it could have nothing to do with Adumb or his family & be about the fact that it's the name she has had since birth (and she has gone through what, 4 grades with it in a classroom setting?). She could be the 8 year old version of Kelly Taylor. She chooses herself! :-)

That's a really good point. I was 30 when I got married and was very accustomed to having my maiden name. I decided to take my husband's but made my maiden name my middle name. It's hard to lose a part of your identity. 

[monagatuna]

10 minutes ago, CaliforniaLove said:

Just to put another perspective on Aubree wanting to keep "Lind"...it could have nothing to do with Adumb or his family & be about the fact that it's the name she has had since birth (and she has gone through what, 4 grades with it in a classroom setting?). She could be the 8 year old version of Kelly Taylor. She chooses herself! :-)

That's a good point. I'm not particularly close to my pops, and I hate the patriarchal presumption that kids always get the father's name despite doing less (or no) work, but my dad's last name has been mine for almost 40 years now and I'd be hesitant to give it up. My bride and I are both willing to compromise, so we are combining our names into a new one. It's our way of reclaiming our own identities while acknowledging who we are prior to the marriage and presenting ourselves as a unified family.

[Kazu]

1 hour ago, CaliforniaLove said:

Just to put another perspective on Aubree wanting to keep "Lind"...it could have nothing to do with Adumb or his family & be about the fact that it's the name she has had since birth (and she has gone through what, 4 grades with it in a classroom setting?). She could be the 8 year old version of Kelly Taylor. She chooses herself! :-)

As a teen I decided my surname was my name and regardless if I married, it would never be changed. I kept that promise.

[teapot]

3 hours ago, Jaclyn88 said:

I feel horrible for Jenelle's kids. They have absolutely no one on their side or someone normal to look up to. Barb loves Jace even though she is undoubtedly crazy herself. But the other 2 kids are out of a grandparent because Jenelle will never let her be a part of their lives. Kaiser has no hope with Jenelle as his mother, Nathan as his father and David as his step-parent. It's just negligence paired with abuse and parents who give no shits about him...

I think Kaiser's Nana Doris is crazy about him.  Thank God for that...even though she's a pushover w/her alcoholic roid rage son.

 

2 hours ago, Rebecca said:

 it was a strange message Chelsea was sending Aubree with her whole “you’re a strong girl who just does what she wants and doesn’t care what anyone thinks” when Aubree said she was changing her name even though she knew it would upset her father. Yeah, in this SPECIFIC case it should be Aubree’s choice and Adam has no room to talk considering what a shitty father he is, but in general it’s not a good thing for a kid to “do what she wants regardless” of what an adult thinks.

reminds me of my misguided 14-year-old self.  My shrink said "you need to do what makes *you* happy.  Not your parents, not your teachers..." and, well, cutting school, dating shady guys, and smoking weed made me really happy at the time! When I tried to explain that to my mom, she agreed that I could stop seeing that quack!

(to be honest to this day I have no idea what the right answer there was. But yeah, a child should not be allowed to guide their own decisions.)

[Mkay]

2 hours ago, CaliforniaLove said:

Just to put another perspective on Aubree wanting to keep "Lind"...it could have nothing to do with Adumb or his family & be about the fact that it's the name she has had since birth (and she has gone through what, 4 grades with it in a classroom setting?). She could be the 8 year old version of Kelly Taylor. She chooses herself! :-)

I choose me! Ha!!!

Edited May 10, 2018 by Mkay

[FairyDusted]

Hey @teapot I think we must have be at the same school of Fuck This.

[teapot]

1 minute ago, FairyDusted said:

Hey @teapot I think we must have be at the same school of Fuck This.

PPP, babe!!!

[FairyDusted]

*PPP*   I don't think it's a big deal to hyphenate Aubree's name. She still loves Adam and her Grandparents but also wants to share in the name of her family at home.  My daughter has always kept our name but named her boy after the donor so it's always a school situation when they address her as Mrs. Asshole.

[shoovenbooty]

2 hours ago, CaliforniaLove said:

Just to put another perspective on Aubree wanting to keep "Lind"...it could have nothing to do with Adumb or his family & be about the fact that it's the name she has had since birth (and she has gone through what, 4 grades with it in a classroom setting?). She could be the 8 year old version of Kelly Taylor. She chooses herself! :-)

And if Chelsea and Cole don't work out for some reason, she could always go back to Lind if she wanted, without it being a big deal. There was a kid my age who had the last name of whatever guy his mom happened to be married to at the moment. His last name changed 4 times between elementary school and high school. It was really confusing for the kids at school when he kept changing last names (there were times when I wondered if it was the same kid, "Wait, Billy Smith is Billy Jones now? I thought he was Billy Green? Oh, that was 3 years ago.") and really awkward for him, I'm sure. Keeping Lind says, "I'm still Aubree Lind, we just added DeBoer."

Edited May 10, 2018 by shoovenbooty

[CaliforniaLove]

2 minutes ago, shoovenbooty said:

And what if Chelsea and Cole don't work out for some reason?

That's a good point too, but Watson & NewGirl would still have DeBoer, which means Chelsea would probably keep it & it would still be a "family" name, and we have gone waaaay too deep into this. LOL

What's the deal with Chelsey Grace? So over on TM we get individual scenes of randos like Tyler's sister & Amber's cousin who we've barely seen, yet I don't recall ever *knowing* anything about CG & she has been on this show for eons! Is she involved with anybody, does she have any kids? I'm curious! 

[FairyDusted]

I love seeing her too. I don't think she has any children. I kinda sorta remember her living with Chelsea for a while.

[CaliforniaLove]

Plus, I know the "friends" are normally there to "drive" the conversation for the story line, but even her darker haired friend (Brittany?) would drop things about herself during these conversations to where we know she had a kid, husband, whatever. CG turns up on this episode looking all fly, and still all we get is "so, I've been hearing things about Adumb!". Argh!

[FairyDusted]

15 minutes ago, CaliforniaLove said:

Plus, I know the "friends" are normally there to "drive" the conversation for the story line, but even her darker haired friend (Brittany?) would drop things about herself during these conversations to where we know she had a kid, husband, whatever. CG turns up on this episode looking all fly, and still all we get is "so, I've been hearing things about Adumb!". Argh!

And wasn't it Brittany that moved out pissed off cuz Adumb moved in ? Like throwing shit mad.

[Christina87]

6 hours ago, Kazu said:

Honey, when did you join our forums?

lol

I read this and thought, my husband is here!

When my husband and I are happy or excited about something, we sometimes say "happy dance" and do the Roseanne Conner dance.

@Christina87

That is mentally a lot of work and that in itself can cause fractures in a relationship.

Most of what you are doing is projection, as others have noted after you brought up all that information about yourself. As @lezlers pointed out, you are projecting something from your past.

All this talk about settling, let's not forget Chelsea had settled for Adumb for quite some time. 

Here you go:

http://www.alloy.com/entertainment/teen-mom-camera-man-reddit-ama-leah-messer-worst-mom-barbara-evans-voice-670/

 

@woodscommaelle ask and you shall receive:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qs6EKNklDds

 

I brought up overthinking because that is what I do when things are wrong. When everything clicks, there is no need to do that. Chelsea and Cole remind me of how things feel, for me, when they're not right. However, I don't feel like either of them need a lot of intellectual stimulation either. I do think I can put myself in Chelsea's shoes and objectively evaluate this relationship despite my past experiences. I didn't go super deep into the story, but my point was that sometimes, agreeing with everything someone says means they're repressing their true feelings. I just don't see chemistry there, and I'm not the only one who feels that way, even though it is an unpopular opinion. A lot of other people have had abusive exes or absent co-parents and that colors the way they see certain situations, but nobody puts them on trial for projecting their past. I'm a writer, and I'm actually really good at seeing each individual for who they are. That's what I have to do when I write a novel (I am not a published, famous author or anything, but the people who have read my writing have been very impressed!). I realize my opinion is unpopular, but it's not because I look at Cole and only see my ex. I'm even sure that if I had never met that guy, I still wouldn't see the chemistry there. I don't have anything against Chelsea, but it can be frustrating when it's so hard to just express an honest assessment of how you view something, and others seem to think their relationship is so unquestionably perfect that it has to be something wrong with you not to see it. Same thing when people were implying that if you didn't like Chelsea, you just didn't like her for no reason. There is a valid reason to dislike really anybody in the world. I will also say I'm in another teen mom group where many people share that opinion. I'm not mad, just puzzled as to why it's so impossible to have a different view on Cole and Chelsea. I feel like we're adults, and we all have our opinions, and that's fine. 

Edited May 10, 2018 by Christina87

[lezlers]

2 hours ago, FairyDusted said:

*PPP*   I don't think it's a big deal to hyphenate Aubree's name. She still loves Adam and her Grandparents but also wants to share in the name of her family at home.  My daughter has always kept our name but named her boy after the donor so it's always a school situation when they address her as Mrs. Asshole.

That's why I ultimately changed my name.  I got married when I was already established in my career.  I had gone 30 odd years with that name and told myself I was a strong independent woman and wasn't going to change my name for anyone!  I changed my mind on that real quick after we had kids.  It's just easier to share a last name with your children, for a variety of reasons.  It didn't hurt that my maiden name was pretty lame anyway. 

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, Christina87 said:

I brought up overthinking because that is what I do when things are wrong. When everything clicks, there is no need to do that. Chelsea and Cole remind me of how things feel, for me, when they're not right. However, I don't feel like either of them need a lot of intellectual stimulation either. I do think I can put myself in Chelsea's shoes and objectively evaluate this relationship despite my past experiences. I didn't go super deep into the story, but my point was that sometimes, agreeing with everything someone says means they're repressing their true feelings. I just don't see chemistry there, and I'm not the only one who feels that way, even though it is an unpopular opinion. A lot of other people have had abusive exes or absent co-parents and that colors the way they see certain situations, but nobody puts them on trial for projecting their past. I'm a writer, and I'm actually really good at seeing each individual for who they are. That's what I have to do when I write a novel (I am not a published, famous author or anything, but the people who have read my writing have been very impressed!). I realize my opinion is unpopular, but it's not because I look at Cole and only see my ex. I'm even sure that if I had never met that guy, I still wouldn't see the chemistry there. I don't have anything against Chelsea, but it can be frustrating when it's so hard to just express an honest assessment of how you view something, and others seem to think their relationship is so unquestionably perfect that it has to be something wrong with you not to see it. Same thing when people were implying that if you didn't like Chelsea, you just didn't like her for no reason. There is a valid reason to dislike really anybody in the world. I will also say I'm in another teen mom group where several people share that opinion. I'm not mad, just puzzled as to why it's so impossible to have a different view on Cole and Chelsea. I feel like we're adults, and we all have our opinions, and that's fine. 

One thing I like about our discussions here is that people bring a variety of life experiences and perspectives to the discussion. Another poster will see things a way that’s very different from my own and it’s good to explore that.

I value your opinion @Christina87!

[Christina87]

Just now, Scarlett45 said:

One thing I like about our discussions here is that people bring a variety of life experiences and perspectives to the discussion. Another poster will see things a way that’s very different from my own and it’s good to explore that.

I value your opinion @Christina87!

I value yours, @Scarlett45!!! I have found you over the years to be one of the most open minded posters here. Here's to plenty more snarky discussions in our future!

[CaliforniaLove]

1 hour ago, FairyDusted said:

And wasn't it Brittany that moved out pissed off cuz Adumb moved in ? Like throwing shit mad.

I think that was Megan? Why do I know these things?! 

I hear ya @Christina87. It's kind of like Justin & Selena (shut up, just hear me out :-))...they're constantly on again/off again, he's always seemingly doing douchebaggy things, from an outsider "on paper" perspective it seems like they should just END IT ALREADY, but...there seems to be something inexplicable that always brings them back together. I can see where one would come to the conclusion that maybe Cole isn't the "Justin" to Chelsea's "Selena", but I also have never gotten the vibe that she "settled" either. I fall somewhere in the middle I guess. 

[Christina87]

4 minutes ago, CaliforniaLove said:

I think that was Megan? Why do I know these things?! 

I hear ya @Christina87. It's kind of like Justin & Selena (shut up, just hear me out :-))...they're constantly on again/off again, he's always seemingly doing douchebaggy things, from an outsider "on paper" perspective it seems like they should just END IT ALREADY, but...there seems to be something inexplicable that always brings them back together. I can see where one would come to the conclusion that maybe Cole isn't the "Justin" to Chelsea's "Selena", but I also have never gotten the vibe that she "settled" either. I fall somewhere in the middle I guess. 

I've sort of been out of the loop lately...BUT JUSTIN AND SELENA ARE STILLLLL ON/OFF???!!! Didn't they date in, like, 2011?! That is crazy! I was so proud of her when she walked away the first time. And yes, that is a perfect example of what I meant! Haha now I am dangerously disturbed for Selena. ?