Faux Life: Things That Happen On TV But Not In Reality

[DoctorAtomic]

1 hour ago, Popples said:

Has anyone in real life brought home a person to pretend to be their significant other for the holidays just because they might run into an ex?

No, but I used to go out with my platonic of sorts gf when she wanted to pick up guys and we said we were cousins so dudes wouldn't think we were together. We actually kind of had a resemblance, and I knew her family, so I know her parents names, where they lived (because I've actually been over). My shit was locked down. 

[andromeda331]

Broke arms and broken legs. Unless the actor or actress broke the arm, leg, etc. its amazing how much they can still do with that broke arm or leg. It maybe wrapped but they can still move it with ease and no pain. Or use it they have to fight off a bad guy.  

[Dejana]

4 hours ago, Blergh said:

OR they hadn't agreed on a cover story before they saw the other folks and have to awkwardly make two very conflicting versions somehow gel together!

IRL I remember one of the many reasons for the skepticism about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes as a couple was that they always seemed to fumble the "how did you two meet" questions whenever they got asked. It's one thing if the people involved are kind of private about their love lives, but that didn't exactly apply to those two.  Too bad they didn’t have Lady Gaga's example to follow:

"That's a secret!" covers "I just don't want to say," and, "Yikes, I don't remember at all, but admitting that will sound really bad!" Or, "We're seriously on the rocks at the moment, so it's not like it matters!"  Of course, this probably works better on entertainment reporters than potential in-laws...

* 

TV dramas are good for the clandestine pairing that gets outed due to a fire/earthquake/other emergency in the middle of the night.

Edited November 5, 2019 by Dejana

[Shannon L.]

Every fancy party with dancing will include one beautiful couple who will break out in a ballroom dance, most commonly,  the tango.

[Katy M]

10 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

Every fancy party with dancing will include one beautiful couple who will break out in a ballroom dance, most commonly,  the tango.

This reminds me of something.  On YouTube, there was a clip of the Trolley song from Meet Me in St. Louis.  I don't remember what the exact comment was, but someone said that they wished that they had lived back then, I wish I could remember the wording, because whatever it was conveyed to me, at least, that they actually thought this was a daily occurrence in real life.  

The reason this reminds me of this is because while I don't think I actually gave it much thought, I think I actually did subconsciously think that the beautiful couple tango actually did happen at every fancy party with dancing.  I've never actually been to a fancy party, or anywhere where there was ballroom dancing.  You've disillusioned me.  

[methodwriter85]

On 11/5/2019 at 2:00 PM, DoctorAtomic said:

No, but I used to go out with my platonic of sorts gf when she wanted to pick up guys and we said we were cousins so dudes wouldn't think we were together. We actually kind of had a resemblance, and I knew her family, so I know her parents names, where they lived (because I've actually been over). My shit was locked down. 

So you two never had the moment where you realized that you were in love with each other once she got the perfect hunky boyfriend and you had broken up with your cheating girlfriend? Wow, I feel lied to.

Here's another one- guys pretending to be gay (or a woman) so they can be roommates with a beautiful young girl with either a bad boyfriend or getting over a break-up. And then of course they fall in love with her.

[DoctorAtomic]

No, but we totally banged a bunch of times any way.

[Shannon L.]

I sometimes wonder how many people over the years have used their contacts with owners of skating rinks to get in with their date after hours.

[Shannon L.]

Do people really give tours of their house when someone they've just met comes over for dinner?  We gave tours to family and close friends when we bought our house, but beyond that, it never crossed my mind to show people around.

[Bastet]

52 minutes ago, Shannon L. said:

Do people really give tours of their house when someone they've just met comes over for dinner?  We gave tours to family and close friends when we bought our house, but beyond that, it never crossed my mind to show people around.

I give a tour of the house if anyone asks, and people usually do, because I've done a lot of work on it over the years (it was a fixer-upper) and it's really cute, if I do say so myself.  🙂  I don't generally have people I've just met over for dinner, but there has probably been a friend of a friend I'm not thinking of who got the tour. 

[DoctorAtomic]

I do because I've made a lot of home improvements. And by made, I mean paid professionals to do it.

[Shannon L.]

You walk into a room that you're not supposed to be in.  The entire crowd notices you at the same time and goes completely silent at the same time.  You nod and/or give an awkward wave and walk out, probably backwards, and the whole crowd, all at once, goes back to what they were doing.

[Katy M]

11 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

You walk into a room that you're not supposed to be in.  The entire crowd notices you at the same time and goes completely silent at the same time.  You nod and/or give an awkward wave and walk out, probably backwards, and the whole crowd, all at once, goes back to what they were doing.

That actually did happen to me once.  Minus the nod and awkward wave.  I just turned away and walked out.  I assume they all went back to talking, and I swear everyone stopped and I'm not sure why.  Could just be paranoia on my part.

[jah1986]

11 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

You walk into a room that you're not supposed to be in.  The entire crowd notices you at the same time and goes completely silent at the same time.  You nod and/or give an awkward wave and walk out, probably backwards, and the whole crowd, all at once, goes back to what they were doing.

It happened to me too, but I was in a part of the country where a POC is not normally welcomed, so I backed out and went on my way.

[Shannon L.]

Wow.  It seemed almost implausible that everyone would go silent at once and no one would throw out some sort of comment.  I stand corrected.

[Lugal]

16 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

You walk into a room that you're not supposed to be in.  The entire crowd notices you at the same time and goes completely silent at the same time.  You nod and/or give an awkward wave and walk out, probably backwards, and the whole crowd, all at once, goes back to what they were doing.

Years ago I had a coworker that would do that as a joke.  The instant I (or other coworkers, she did it to everyone) would walk in, she would silence everyone and act like they were talking about me.

[kiddo82]

7 hours ago, Lugal said:

Years ago I had a coworker that would do that as a joke.  The instant I (or other coworkers, she did it to everyone) would walk in, she would silence everyone and act like they were talking about me.

Heh.  We do that at work too.

[Hiyo]

Super-sized freshman college dorm room in major urban cities (*cough*Felicity*cough*).

[DoctorAtomic]

Seriously. Not that my digs were squalor, but it was a tight fit. 

[Bastet]

11 hours ago, Hiyo said:

Super-sized freshman college dorm room in major urban cities

It prepares them for those super-sized urban apartments they're going to have when they graduate.

Edited December 12, 2019 by Bastet

[tennisgurl]

Speaking of college, high school seniors have two, and only two, options for college:

1. The never before mentioned or seen college that now exists in the town the show takes place in, no matter what size the town had previously been established to be, that conveniently allows any teen character to go to college while staying on the show. Occasionally it will be within driving distance in a nearby town, or maybe an actual college if it takes place in a big city like New York, but the point is that the character will never stop being around the majority of the time. 

2. Every student will apply to and probably get into an Ivy League, or otherwise very famous and prestigious college. If an adult character ever mentioned the college they went to, it will be a super famous and prestigious one. Even if the setting doesent really make sense for this background for almost everyone mentioned (IE a fancy boarding school, a fancy law office, rich and fancy people in general) or if this character is rarely if ever seen doing the studying or extracurricular activities or volunteering, that is necessary to even be considered for schools like Yale, Harvard, etc. if anyone talks about going to college, they will always be going Yale, Princeton, Brown, MIT, or some other well known college. There could often be a plot where a student has to decide if they want to move away to an existing prestigious college or go to an aforementioned never before seen local university to stay with their friends, and nine times out of ten, they stay with their friends. 

In the real world, there are tons of great state schools, small independent colleges, trade schools, and all manner of universities that have excellent programs that would be much more realistic for students to go to, where they could get an excellent education and be generally more convenient and a better fit, but on TV, anyone who doesent go to an Ivy (or close) university is basically going to be doomed to a life of, at best, pumping gas, and at worst, turning tricks for Oxy. Again, unless they attend vague and magically appearing local college. 

[kiddo82]

Every circle of high school friends on TV has a friend that got into an Ivy League school.  Said friend is either the hyper competitive over achiever or the slacker friend who "tests well."  Zack Morris got into Yale on a whim.  I know, I know. It's not real but it should have some basis in reality.  At least it's believable that someone as hyper focused as Rory Gilmore got into all those schools.  She had been working on it for years (extracurriculars, volunteer work, etc) and she was a legacy at Yale and she went to a fancy prep school.

Edited December 13, 2019 by kiddo82

[DoctorAtomic]

Community college is played for laughs like the students there aren't 'good enough.' I taught at community college and placed students well. They could run circles out of some of the jokes I have to deal with now at a university.

[smittykins]

The old “13th grade” stereotype.

[DoctorAtomic]

There were some slouches, but most were busting their ass while working shit jobs so they could transfer to a UC because they knew that was their ticket. 

[Ohiopirate02]

13 hours ago, DoctorAtomic said:

Community college is played for laughs like the students there aren't 'good enough.' I taught at community college and placed students well. They could run circles out of some of the jokes I have to deal with now at a university.

I think that is because very few families on TV have real money problems.  Community college is a joke because the TV families can all afford to send their kids to expensive universities without any crushing student loan debt.  Or at least until the plot requires the family to be severely short on funds for an episode. 

Which is another thing that bugs about TV life.  Family fiances fluctuate like crazy based on the whims of the writers.  There is always enough money in the bank for the different characters to be dressed to the nines, travel across the country, afford the upkeep on expensive houses, drive expensive cars, afford the insurance on those cars even after their teenager has a wreck,etc. until one episode where they don't.  Then the financial pickle is played for laughs and is somehow fixed by the end of the episode, never to be heard from again.   

[Katy M]

Speaking of college, people going to college with one suitcase and a backpack and that's it.  I mean, you need clothes, sheets, blankets, pillow(s), towels, a laundry basket, a robe, a bucket for your shower things, etc.  That's not all fitting in one suitcase.  Yes, I realize some people have to fly to college, especially those going to school in a foreign country, but they don't usually show people shipping stuff or going shopping either.  

As annoying as the episode is in general, especially the whole mattress thing, at least they showed the reality of stuff when Rory went to Yale on Gilmore Girls.

[Blergh]

41 minutes ago, Katy M said:

Speaking of college, people going to college with one suitcase and a backpack and that's it.  I mean, you need clothes, sheets, blankets, pillow(s), towels, a laundry basket, a robe, a bucket for your shower things, etc.  That's not all fitting in one suitcase.  Yes, I realize some people have to fly to college, especially those going to school in a foreign country, but they don't usually show people shipping stuff or going shopping either.  

As annoying as the episode is in general, especially the whole mattress thing, at least they showed the reality of stuff when Rory went to Yale on Gilmore Girls.

At least since that show happened in the late 20th century, that was more feasible than   the time Mary Ingalls of the mid 19th century on LHOTP went on a trip, and was seen carrying a single cloth duffel bag. LOL

I mean, unless a woman was too poor to HAVE any clothes besides those on her back, when  travelling they'd always need to take a trunk with them  so they could have the then- necessary changes of shoes, corsets, bloomer underpants,skirts,blouses, hoops, bustles,hats,etc. 

[DoctorAtomic]

Excellent use of 'underpants'. Always the funnier option. 

[Ohiopirate02]

3 hours ago, Blergh said:

At least since that show happened in the late 20th century, that was more feasible than   the time Mary Ingalls of the mid 19th century on LHOTP went on a trip, and was seen carrying a single cloth duffel bag. LOL

I mean, unless a woman was too poor to HAVE any clothes besides those on her back, when  travelling they'd always need to take a trunk with them  so they could have the then- necessary changes of shoes, corsets, bloomer underpants,skirts,blouses, hoops, bustles,hats,etc. 

I have not seen that episode of Little House, but it was common to send your trunk on ahead before you left. That way the trunk would be waiting at your destination and the young lady would not have to worry about keeping up with it while travelling.  The duffel bag or carpetbag would be an overnight bag filled with enough clothes and toiletries for one night.  She would keep the same travelling dress on until she reached her destination mostly because travelling  was dirty. This is a holdover from the days of public coaches that moved multiple people from town to town.  The coach could not possibly carry all the passengers and their luggage.  If they didn't send the trunk on before departing, then the trunk would arrive on its own in a day or two.  

[PaulBMA]

Speaking of undergarments, is a satin bra something that only exists in telly land?

[Ohiopirate02]

2 minutes ago, PaulBMA said:

Speaking of undergarments, is a satin bra something that only exists in telly land?

No, but most women spend their hard-earned money on bras that actually are capable of keeping the girls in their place. Those bras are not the most glamorous and don't play well into the TV land fantasy.  Not to say that we don't have some nice lingerie we bust out on occasion.  

[Blergh]

2 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I have not seen that episode of Little House, but it was common to send your trunk on ahead before you left. That way the trunk would be waiting at your destination and the young lady would not have to worry about keeping up with it while travelling.  The duffel bag or carpetbag would be an overnight bag filled with enough clothes and toiletries for one night.  She would keep the same travelling dress on until she reached her destination mostly because travelling  was dirty. This is a holdover from the days of public coaches that moved multiple people from town to town.  The coach could not possibly carry all the passengers and their luggage.  If they didn't send the trunk on before departing, then the trunk would arrive on its own in a day or two.  

Not bad but there was no mention of Mary or her parents having sent her trunk ahead and considering that the Ingallses didn't have any capital to spare, I think they would have insisted she and/or Charles would have carried a trunk with them and guarded it with their lives!

 

Of course, there was also an earlier episode"Four Eyes'  in which she got eyeglasses then she hid them for a few days in a hollow log because she hated the Oleson kids calling her four eyes- and the senior Ingallses just shrugged it off like she was a 1970's mallrat who'd lost a mood ring.

      In those times with glasses costing at least a year's worth's of wages (or, for that matter,  in ANY era), I can't imagine her parents wouldn't have told her 'You LOST them?! Well, we're going to go over EVERY SQUARE INCH between this front door and the schoolhouse and you'd better make sure those glasses are FOUND or else we'll give you something to REALLY blubber  about far more than snotty peers teasing you!'

[Bastet]

9 hours ago, PaulBMA said:

Speaking of undergarments, is a satin bra something that only exists in telly land?

Not at all, but this joins buying carrots with the greens attached and sometimes having a French baguette sticking up out of my grocery bag as one of the few ways in which I'm like a TV character -- I hate boring underwear.  I spend a good chunk of change on bras in pretty much every color except pink and various styles - satin, lace, what have you, but no plain cotton - in order to have a collection that both properly supports/situates my breasts and looks appealing to me.  With panties, cotton can join the collection, for an even wider variety.  And all are comfortable.

They rarely match, though, so maybe I'd still get kicked off TV.

What bugs me about women's underwear on TV is that once a female character is shown in her underwear - or sleepwear - a significant chunk of the audience decides that's the only kind she ever wears, and makes all kinds of characterization inferences based on it.  Sure, there are plenty of women who have one basic kind of underwear and sleepwear and don those all the time.  But there are also plenty who have a variety.  And, yes, costume designers think about the character and scene, they don't just choose these items willy nilly.  But what she's wearing at any given time doesn't have to be a definitive plot point or personality indicator.  She's wearing X, so she's Y is problematic enough, but then to decide she always wears X so she's always/only Y is worse.

[DoctorAtomic]

I remember the absolute tv coup on Lost when Kate had on a mismatching bra and underpants. It was hailed as a triumph of feminism.

22 hours ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

Not to say that we don't have some nice lingerie we bust out on occasion.  

I don't know if you did that on purpose or not, but good work.

"Nice bust."
"Why thank you!"

[Katy M]

1 hour ago, DoctorAtomic said:

I remember the absolute tv coup on Lost when Kate had on a mismatching bra and underpants. It was hailed as a triumph of feminism.

Wow.  That must make me the ultimate feminist. Who knew?

Edited December 21, 2019 by Katy M

[DoctorAtomic]

EW had a big article on it.

[Anduin]

All men are either clean shaven or have really good beards. No one ever just has an ugly neckbeardy scruff that they're too lazy and don't have any great reason to remove.

[andromeda331]

15 minutes ago, Anduin said:

All men are either clean shaven or have really good beards. No one ever just has an ugly neckbeardy scruff that they're too lazy and don't have any great reason to remove.

Unless their depressed. Depressed, drunk, on a downward spiral, whatever. They're the only ones who have ugly beards. 

[Anduin]

55 minutes ago, andromeda331 said:

Unless their depressed. Depressed, drunk, on a downward spiral, whatever. They're the only ones who have ugly beards. 

I wish I could disagree there. 😞

[GaT]

2 hours ago, Anduin said:

All men are either clean shaven or have really good beards. No one ever just has an ugly neckbeardy scruff that they're too lazy and don't have any great reason to remove.

 

1 hour ago, andromeda331 said:

Unless their depressed. Depressed, drunk, on a downward spiral, whatever. They're the only ones who have ugly beards. 

Or they're the schlumpy best friend.

[DoctorAtomic]

Or they're me an basically shave 2 times a week because fuck all and I don't have to impress anyone.

Though I do have a hot beard when I clean up. You'd all be making sure your bra and underpants were matching.

[PaulBMA]

America Conquers the World - in Australia its not allowed to name your kid Panties but you can name it Knickers.

[Anduin]

2 hours ago, PaulBMA said:

America Conquers the World - in Australia its not allowed to name your kid Panties but you can name it Knickers.

Seriously? I genuinely can't tell if you're joking. What about Undies, Daks, or Budgie Smugglers?

[Blergh]

7 hours ago, Anduin said:

Seriously? I genuinely can't tell if you're joking. What about Undies, Daks, or Budgie Smugglers?

Did anyone on TV ever name their child after underwear? 

I always thought it ludicrous on Dynasty that  so many of the female names seemed to be those NO  mother would have ever wanted to name their offspring (e.g. Sable, Caress,etc.).

Edited December 22, 2019 by Blergh

[PaulBMA]

Sadly I'm not joking about the baby name registrar. Oh and you can't name your kid a title like Sir in Australia so Beyoncé would have been forced by law to choose a real name.

 

[Anduin]

2 minutes ago, PaulBMA said:

Sadly I'm not joking about the baby name registrar. Oh and you can't name your kid a title like Sir in Australia so Beyoncé would have been forced by law to choose a real name.

 

Knickers Knowles it is! Or Knickers-Zed.

[Bort]

On 12/21/2019 at 4:33 PM, Anduin said:

All men are either clean shaven or have really good beards. No one ever just has an ugly neckbeardy scruff that they're too lazy and don't have any great reason to remove.

You must never have seen Blindspot. Ugly neckbeard is all that was ever seen of the main male character. 

[Anduin]

18 minutes ago, kariyaki said:

You must never have seen Blindspot. Ugly neckbeard is all that was ever seen of the main male character. 

If I want to see one, I'll look in the mirror. But I'm weirdly pleased to know I'm not alone in my facial suffering.

[juno]

On TV you have meals where passive family members magically become assertive/aggressive and tell everyone at the table every single thought/emotion on their minds and reveal every truth that has been hidden by themselves and the family.

Edited December 24, 2019 by juno
spelling