S01.E05: Too Much Wrong, and Not Enough Right..

[Drogo]

Vanessa's pregnancy is in jeopardy and she faces a life threatening surgery; the Snowdens meet up with Joselyn to see if she will come clean about sleeping with Dimitri; and the Brineys go camping in hopes of easing the tension amongst the three wives.

[sainte-chapelle]

If this isn't fake I feel so bad for Vanessa. April saying thank you to Aurlee for planning was a but passive aggressive with her "normally I do all of this " and Aurlee's bitchy uhuh response was amazing.

[grammaester]

I've only watched half the episode and wow, so much wrong. Ashley expects Jocelyn to "fess up'. Are you kidding me. The rules are currently between her and Mr. Can't keep dick in his pants, not her and Jocelyn. It was up to him to start the luncheon with "I made a mistake Jocelyn and put you and Ashley in a bad situation", apologize to both women and then for Ashley to explain to Jocelyn how she sees this "courtship" working, etc. Shame on these quasi intellectuals for putting this 22 year old through this total load of bullshit. And good on Jocelyn for realizing this is a big manipulation show and cutting it short and leaving. I am beginning to see this all as a major manipulation on Ashley's part who somehow got great enjoyment by verbally spanking  Can't keep for his behavior, then allowing him to think it was that bad little hussy's fault. He acted like a  little boy who somehow likes to get reprimanded by mommy and then sits with his mouth shut and lets his squeeze take the heat.  April, Auralee and Angela, wow these 3 could teach a class in passive aggressive behavior. April and her smiling snide little comments. I would put a cap on that BS in about 30 seconds. The only ones who act relatively healthy emotionally are Vanessa and her group. 

[Christi]

I certainly NEVER thought any man would make Cody Brown look like a good catch, but jesus christ... the 3 men on this show make him look like the Plyg George Clooney?

[sainte-chapelle]

I got the feeling the pushed Joselyn out the door with the whole "you should go don't want to get stuck in traffic BS".  Angela seemed quite smug gaining up on Joselyn with Dimitri. They are all terrible candidates for polygamy.  Also seems like Drew always has a flare up during vacations so he can be fawned over and taken care of, paging Whitney Thore.

Edited February 19, 2018 by sainte-chapelle

[grammaester]

Oh wait, Dmitri, is glad there was a "challenge" to show that Jocelyn wasn't a good candidate and "they're going to keep trying" to find their forever person. RFLMAO. He is going to get strange every 6 months, so Ashley can nix his immature behavior and decide the woman isn't their soulmate. I don't think I've ever seen anything so FU in my life in a relationship. These two need to stop reading about tribal polygamy in Africa and seek individual psychotherapy. 

[sainte-chapelle]

Sharis seems to care deeply for Vanessa and all the kids, the pictures she had the children draw was very thoughtful. I think the dynamic so far is working and they do not need to bring another wife into the situation.

[MoodyGirl]

I think Dmitri was smitten with his new plaything and was sad to see her go. It was very bitchy and rude for them to remain seated while she left—like see ya...Bye! I mean Dmitri could have been a MATURE person and stood and walked her out and said hey this isn’t going to work or something. For all their talk of maturity I thought this was a very immature way to say this isn’t going to work.  And boy is that Ashley bitchy—that resting bitch face and constant snarling is really not attractive at all. She seems to have all the power in this duo—she will basically say no to any lady he brings home. 

[shouldbedancing]

The Snowdens are trash. Both of them. Dmitri just used that girl to get his rocks off. Nothing indicated that they clued her into their rules and expectations. She's not a mind reader. The guy wanted a second wife and took her on a date, with the wife's permission. Why would she naturally assume that sex is off the table? Dmiri, King of Honesty, just stuffed his face while his wife stared her down. Then he let her take the fall for not being "transparent" and "honest". He had no problem with the wife putting the brakes on the relationship. He already got everything he wanted out of it. If you're so interested in being honest, how about you bring it up yourself? But no, they had no intentions of keeping her anyway. I'm sure it was a free flight because she's a flight attendant, but it was still a huge waste of her time. I'm sure Dmitri wasn't that good anyway. I'm so grossed out.

[JocelynCavanaugh]

Ugh. Still trying to finish up this festival of terrible choices, but it's rough. I don't know if I'll keep watching.

April, Auralee, and Angela are all toxic. I can't stand any of them, but Auralee is the ultimate snake. Also, I am not making fun of her voice (I know some people were deeply, personally concerned about this), but it is extremely distracting, and I have to make a conscious effort not to let it affect my impression of her intelligence or maturity. It is just criminal that her parents let her get to adulthood talking like that. 

I fully admit that I am a terrible person but I just DGAF about this non-pregnancy thing. Like, I'm vaguely sorry that a person is not well, but it's just hard to feel like it's a huge loss that a plyg family didn't bring yet another innocent child into this demented lifestyle, and a delusional woman didn't get to affirm yet again that her only value in life is to reproduce. Sorry, just not my worldview so I can't get too sad when it fails. 

Being not-married to Dimitri must be like a 21st century version of being "married" to Joseph Smith -- a horny egomaniac inventing a belief system to justify his poonhounding by couching it in pseudo-religious/pseudo-anthropological mumbo jumbo. In the first episode I thought D. was really attractive but the more I see of his personality, the uglier he becomes. What a tool.

This show is quickly falling into the category of "depressing crap I watch to feel better about my own life," along with Hoarders and My 600-Lb. Life. 

[LucyEth]

Instead of treating Jocelyn poorly and basically blaming the whole thing on her, Ashley needs to take a closer look at her husband.  She should be furious with him that he slept with this girl after their first meeting.  So what, he can just go around sleeping with the prospects he finds attractive and then the angry wife dismisses them as candidates.  What a racket he has going on.  Those Briney wives are nuts starting with April.  They can't stand each other.  Why doesn't Mr. back pain sit them down and put and end to some of the crap.  None of them is happy, such a shame.  Hope Vanessa comes thru okay.  Sad situation.  Thought it was odd that Sharis refers to her as Aunt Vanessa to her children.

[sainte-chapelle]

I can't even with the Snowdens "that's trash"

[Soup333]

I’m just at a loss with the Snowdens. I can’t. Really though, how could she ever have worked for their family? I can’t imagine him wanting her to keep her job as a flight attendant and then she wants to go back to school to go into the medical field?? When was she going to pop out all these babies for him? It wasn’t gonna work, they knew it and he decided to smash anyway. Come on. 

 

April is a pure, rotten bitch and there’s no way I could live with her without going off on her for that passive aggressive shit she pulls. 

[Pachengala]

1 hour ago, MoodyGirl said:

She seems to have all the power in this duo—she will basically say no to any lady he brings home. 

I think if she had any power at all, their relationship would be monogamous.

 

51 minutes ago, LucyEth said:

 She should be furious with him that he slept with this girl after their first meeting.  So what, he can just go around sleeping with the prospects he finds attractive and then the angry wife dismisses them as candidates.  What a racket he has going on.  

She should be furious, but as in all polygamous relationships, her needs are subverted in order to ensure his are met. She isn’t allowed to be angry at him, so she takes her anger out on the other woman (see also: the Briney wives). The power imbalance that polygamy creates—indeed, is *designed* to create—is sick and misogynistic, no matter how progressive it’s costumed to be. 

This show is so dark I mostly just read here instead of watching. I feel like we’re witnessing these women be gaslit, and it’s actually making them insane.

[eskimo]

April's fake-ass soft spoken demeanor irks me to no end.  I'd tell her to fuck off daily, and if that didn't work she'd have a much bigger gap between those front teeth of hers. 

If I were Ashley I'd be thinking that if Dmitri can fuck around without commitment, as per their 'rules', so can I.  Oh, you made a bad decision Dmitri?  So did I.  Ooopsy. 

[calliope1975]

6 minutes ago, eskimo said:

April's fake-ass soft spoken demeanor irks me to no end.

I noticed in her talking head interview when she was bitching about the other wife, she dropped that childlike sing-song voice she uses.

[Sasha888]

Spoiler

 

I'd like to slap that fake ass smile off that bitch April's face. I'm not saying the other two are saints, but my GOD that woman makes me stabby. "Boo hoo hoo Drew, those two are being mean to me! They mis-perceive everything I say!" Well then why don't you try being HONEST for a change, instead of a manipulative hag! She seems to feel that she has to do all the "planning" most of the time...well, that's probably because you're controlling and no one else can do it "properly" enough to suit you. 

And if she thought Angela did NOT really want to cook together, couldn't she just say "Are you sure you're okay with that? Because I thought you wouldn't like it." But no, she sits there smirking and asks her several times, all the while acting like a freaking 13 yr old girl. Actually that insults the maturity of 13 yr old girls, my bad.

I think she genuinely enjoys stirring up trouble. I've had it with her fake "look how happy and smiley I am!" persona.

Edited February 19, 2018 by Sasha888
My apologies...couldn't get rid of the spoiler tag. I have no spoilers!

[Sasha888]

Dimitri and Ashley are two delusional, very screwed up human beings who should not be drawing another person into their dysfunction. She's not the least bit mad at HIM? Yeah, it's all Joselyn's fault. Keep telling yourself that, honey. And what was it he called it, "unfortunate" or something along those lines? It wasn't UNFORTUNATE, Dimitri. Unfortunate is getting in a car accident. It's a bad thing, but was an accident and couldn't be helped. Sleeping with somebody is not an ACCIDENT. Unless you want us to believe you accidentally fell on top of her - over and over and over again! What a piece of garbage. And his "wife" isn't much better. She kept that lunch date just to make Joselyn squirm. Not that you shouldn't squirm for sleeping with a guy who has a relationship and 2 soon to be 3 kids with her, but you guys SOUGHT OUT a woman to join you. Apparently you didn't tell her the rules???

Get your "righteous anger" directed towards the right person, Ashley...your cheating sleazebag "husband".

[Sasha888]

I was shocked to see the Alldredges already have another wife who just isn't part of the show. Wow. They're the most normal of these three freak shows, but even they are just liars if that's the case.

I also thought it was nice that Sharis was having the kids make things for Vanessa...and I totally thought she would act the way she did....sad for Vanessa, very caring towards her, offering to give up her night with Mr Man (big loss! ha!). But I also found it strange that she calls her "Aunt Vanessa" to her own children...but, whatever. I mean on Sister Wives, the kids call their other moms by the first names, they don't really call them "mom" or "aunt" or anything...unless they are vying for attention with their non-polygamist peers, then they're all "I have four moms!" I guess you call them whatever you want in this goofy lifestyle.

These episodes seem really slow-moving to me. A lot of shots of them driving in cars to get somewhere, and by the end of the episode the Alldredges have just gotten to the hospital, the Brineys have just arrived at the campground...cut out all this filler crap and just get where you're going already.

[Gothish520]

4 hours ago, Christi said:

I certainly NEVER thought any man would make Cody Brown look like a good catch, but jesus christ... the 3 men on this show make him look like the Plyg George Clooney?

Hahahahaha! Hilarious, and true!

[eskimo]

I didn't catch the story of how Angela joined the Briney family, but have read here that she came in after 3 weeks?  I wondered why she would have chosen to 'marry' into this family with the tension between all the women.  Anyone have the Angela story?

The Alldredge husband reminds me of Red Foreman from That 70's Show.  Except he doesn't threaten everybody with a foot in the ass.  Lol

[Spiderella2]

This show proves once again that polygamy does not work. The only happy person in polygamy is the man, because he is a de facto King, constantly worshipped and adored. Everyone else is miserable, subverting all their true emotions and needs to the point of insanity. Wow, this episode made me sorry for all the wives. Except for April. The only default response to April should always be “FU April”. 

The Brineys

April - this wife is spitting mad that Angela gives her no attention. She is so used to being the center of the household, the butterfly that everyone surrounds. That is why she talks in that quiet baby voice, it’s all a manipulation to get you to PAY ATTENTION TO APRIL. When Angela tried to have the conversation with her about her attitude in Episode 3, April stormed out because she didn’t want to have the conversation at that time. I love that Angela now ignores her, no matter what April says to try to get her attention. Angela just gives her the blank look and gives her not one iota. April  said so many passive agreesive comments, snarky remarks, jabs and digs to Angela. 

Auralee - she is so glad that April’s drama is not directed at her. So she takes that opportunity to plan a camping trip, something which I’m sure she loves doing, which in the past April probably vetoed. But now that April is not paying attention [to me since I watched her kids on her anniversary weekend], let me organize, plan and have that family camping trip. I see you Auralee. Stealth mode. I still think she is somehow the queen bee and is the one making April spiral, after all, still waters run deep. 

Drew - seriously, man up. Where is your nut sack? In April’s purse obviously. You can’t handle a weekend’s sexual romp without dying on the floor the next day! So what makes you think you can handle one wife, let alone three? Angela came to you pleading for help after being harrasssed again by the household bully aka April, your accursed first wife.  She was in tears and needed comfort, support, and help. It was a perfect setup to increase your intimacy and bring you closer, and you blew it. Disgrace. Drew, what useless advice was that? You pretty much just told her to give her bully “more love” and if that doesn’t work to “ask God”. Let me decide that for you…| ~ Angela, you are screwed girl, take your one son Leo and run for the hills. They are all pawns of April, so if you don’t want to be a pawn, run! Dumb Drew, why did you build 3 tents when you have 3 wives? Did you expect April & Angela to share a tent while you are curled up with Auralee (she is way too peppy for this not to be her night)? Why do that when you promised Angela you would help keep things smooth on the camping trip?

Angela - honey, I have a hard time believing this is your Second Act, your Happily ever after. This can’t be what you dreamed of when your divorced Mr. I-Don’t-Want-Kids McFatty. The honeymoon stage didn’t even last a year. This is why you try before you buy. If you had courted them for longer than 2 weeks, you would have seen that April is Batshit Crazy, Auralee is Spiralling Down and Drew is Pathetically Emasculated. Anyway, you have to lie on the bed you have made so let’s dive into this. Here are some truths that I want you to read when ever you start doubting yourself or buying the shit that the Britney’s are selling. Here are a few truths;

1. April is crazy. So is Auralee. Do not believe anything they tell you. Neither of them is your friend, talk less of your sister.
2. The only person you can trust is yourself. You cannot trust neither of your sister wives. You cannot trust Drew. They all have a deeper, longer history together, and you are the newbie.  You are and will always be the outsider looking in. They will believe each other over you, and they will be more loyal to each other over you
3. Set firm boundaries. This is the only way you will be able to create a space for yourself in this family. Communicate those boundaries consistently and repeatedly until it is engrained in everyone, even the kids. 
4. You have to take the time to build a relationship with each of the kids, outside of their mothers. Get consent from the Moms in front of Drew and the kids so they can’t back down and change minds later. Figure out an activity or event to do with each kid, and make this a regular thing, every few weeks. The kids will apppreciate the extra effort you are making. It will also make them each feel special. They probably don’t have a lot of opportunities for individualized attention outside of negative attention. Not only will it get benefits in the family, it can also create a ripple effect that will allow the Moms to love and accept all your kids too. 
5. Do not mix your money with their money. Yes, take your fair share from the general pot, but do not put your own life savings into it. Keep a separate bank account that none of them know about, the more you can stash away for yourself the Leo, the better. 
6. It is okay to breastfeed without a coverlet in the privacy of your own home. April doesn’t want you breastfeeding in common areas because she doesn’t want Drew to see you that way. It gets him incredibly turned on and she’s jealous. 
7. Its okay to take however long you need to care for and breastfeed your child. Leo is the baby that you prayed and hoped for over 20 years. Love him as much as you can and care for him as best as you can. April wants you to give Leo less attention so you can give her and her kids more attention. Don’t spread yourself thin or take from your child for someone else’s. 
8. It’s nice to see you standing up for yourself. Do not let them guilt you into doing something you are not comfortable doing. It’s incredibly hard to go from having 0 kids to 1 kid. But to make the leap from 1 kid to 8 kids is absolutely insane and should not be done unless in an emergency. This is why #4 is integral and should be prioritized. 
9. You can still leave. Leaving is not off the table. This lifestyle is not for everyone, and if you are not happy, leave. Do not limit you or Leo's happiness for anyone or anything. You are gorgeous, a good woman with a good heart. Any man would be lucky to have you. Be with someone who sees and appreciates that. 

Edited February 19, 2018 by Spiderella2
Spelling

[Soup333]

^^ #9 is the way to go. Underline it, bold it and do it, Angela. For Leo’s sake if nothing else. 

[Adiba]

I agree that April and Auralee are locked in some kind of passive-aggressive power struggle, but I get the feeling that Auralee has somewhat "poisoned the well" when it comes to Angela's relationship with April. I'm not saying that there are no legitimate issues between them, but Auralee needs to take herself out of April and Angela's dynamic, imo, instead of "triangulating."

Btw, is it a requirement for all Briney wives to have names that begin with the letter A?

[Kyanight]

6 hours ago, Sasha888 said:

Dimitri and Ashley are two delusional, very screwed up human beings who should not be drawing another person into their dysfunction. She's not the least bit mad at HIM? Yeah, it's all Joselyn's fault. Keep telling yourself that, honey. And what was it he called it, "unfortunate" or something along those lines? It wasn't UNFORTUNATE, Dimitri. Unfortunate is getting in a car accident. It's a bad thing, but was an accident and couldn't be helped. Sleeping with somebody is not an ACCIDENT. Unless you want us to believe you accidentally fell on top of her - over and over and over again! What a piece of garbage. And his "wife" isn't much better. She kept that lunch date just to make Joselyn squirm. Not that you shouldn't squirm for sleeping with a guy who has a relationship and 2 soon to be 3 kids with her, but you guys SOUGHT OUT a woman to join you. Apparently you didn't tell her the rules???

Get your "righteous anger" directed towards the right person, Ashley...your cheating sleazebag "husband".

But.. but... he couldn't help it!  His penis just slipped inside of her accidentally!  :(

[Granny58]

10 hours ago, grammaester said:

Oh wait, Dmitri, is glad there was a "challenge" to show that Jocelyn wasn't a good candidate and "they're going to keep trying" to find their forever person. RFLMAO. He is going to get strange every 6 months, so Ashley can nix his immature behavior and decide the woman isn't their soulmate. I don't think I've ever seen anything so FU in my life in a relationship. These two need to stop reading about tribal polygamy in Africa and seek individual psychotherapy. 

Thank you.  You verbalized the thought i was trying to formulate but it kept escaping me. 

[Kyanight]

6 hours ago, eskimo said:

I didn't catch the story of how Angela joined the Briney family, but have read here that she came in after 3 weeks?  I wondered why she would have chosen to 'marry' into this family with the tension between all the women.  Anyone have the Angela story?

The Alldredge husband reminds me of Red Foreman from That 70's Show.  Except he doesn't threaten everybody with a foot in the ass.  Lol

Someone posted a LONG audio interview with Angela on how she joined the family.  She had started a friendship (of sorts - not overly serious) with April and then April suggested she meet her husband.  Angela said several times her biological clock was ticking as she was 40 and she wanted a baby... so she joined the family.

[Granny58]

9 hours ago, LucyEth said:

Why doesn't Mr. back pain sit them down and put and end to some of the crap.

I got the impression that he is a huge wuss and loves lapping up the attention of women being jealous over him.  

[Kyanight]

37 minutes ago, Granny58 said:

I got the impression that he is a huge wuss and loves lapping up the attention of women being jealous over him.  

You hit the nail on the head.  He doesn't really WANT the drama to end.  And even if he did - like you said - he's a huge wuss.

[MoodyGirl]

I think all three Briney wives are complete wackos. I don't get the love people have for Angelina either. She's a grown ass woman who made this choice. She just used him to get her kid and be done. She has no interest in being a part of the family or interacting with the other kids. It's all about her and her kid. And I agree with another poster that Auralee poisoned the well by bitching about April.  I think it's hilarious that Drew is stuck with not one bitch of a wife but 3! Ha ha. 

[Kyanight]

7 minutes ago, MoodyGirl said:

I think it's hilarious that Drew is stuck with not one bitch of a wife but 3! Ha ha. 

On the other hand, those three are stuck with a husband who has no balls

7 hours ago, Sasha888 said:

I was shocked to see the Alldredges already have another wife who just isn't part of the show.

I think she made a very wise decision, lol.  But - where does she live?  Are they separated?  Or does she and the older kids have to clear out of the house every time TLC is filming?

[Booger666]

8 hours ago, eskimo said:

If I were Ashley I'd be thinking that if Dmitri can fuck around without commitment, as per their 'rules', so can I.  Oh, you made a bad decision Dmitri?  So did I.  Ooopsy. 

Except she can’t because that wouldn’t help further making Dmitri’s tribe.  Can’t risk the women getting pregnant by other men.  I feel so, so sorry for their children.  This will end very badly.

[Madding crowd]

Quote

 

Yes! If Angela wants to be part of the family she needs to interact wth all of the kids not just her own. In a polygamist family you don't get to just sit in a corner with your own kid and ignore everyone else. I actually dislike her and Auralee more than April because they argue or get offended by every word she says. 

I had a molar pregnancy once and it is scary, I had to have monthly blood tests for a whole year to look for cancer indicators. I still can't figure this family out with the entire group of missing kids and wife. Does he still see this other family? Are they estranged? Very odd.

The Snowden's just pissed me off. So Jocelyn is supposed to confess to her transgressions while Dimitri sits there like he did nothing wrong? I'm half convinced they are actors pulling something off for the viewers. 

Edited February 19, 2018 by Madding crowd

[Booger666]

7 hours ago, Sasha888 said:

I was shocked to see the Alldredges already have another wife who just isn't part of the show. Wow. They're the most normal of these three freak shows, but even they are just liars if that's the case.

This!  I’m actually interested in the Alldredges because they are the only polyg family I’ve seen where the women get along and seem content, and aren’t mentally or emotionally unstable.  So I want to know why.  Is it really their religious beliefs, because they are so young and haven’t known anything else, or is it all an act and we’ll see the cracks soon?  But they aren’t showing the truth about their family so it all is odd.

[Booger666]

Did anyone else get the impression that when Drew was talking about April to Angela that he really effing hates April?  I wonder what would happen if Angela were to take the baby, leave and sue for child support.  In UT is polyg unofficially acknowledged/accepted so the judge would take into account all of Drew’s families and he would pay pennies in child support to Angela, or if the judge would just take April’s under 18 YO kids into account and Drew would have to pay a decent amount of child support.  Because Angela needs to leave.  Their home life is way too toxic.

Edited February 19, 2018 by Booger666

[Kyanight]

35 minutes ago, Booger666 said:

Because Angela needs to leave.  Their home life is way too toxic.

Those poor children!  The stress level must be sky-high.

[luckylisp]

Quote

1 hour ago, Booger666 said:

Did anyone else get the impression that when Drew was talking about April to Angela that he really effing hates April?  I wonder what would happen if Angela were to take the baby, leave and sue for child support.  In UT is polyg unofficially acknowledged/accepted so the judge would take into account all of Drew’s families and he would pay pennies in child support to Angela, or if the judge would just take April’s under 18 YO kids into account and Drew would have to pay a decent amount of child support.  Because Angela needs to leave.  Their home life is way too toxic.

 

Yes, I get the feeling Drew has issues with April too and is just weary of it. And who can blame him. She's clearly the one most responsible for that family's misery.

[Juliegirlj]

Pretty sure no woman could pass Ashley’s “sisterhood gauntlet”. 

The way the Snowden’s interacted with Jocelyn proves all their psycho pseudo intellectual babble is BS. 

April’s ability to turn her coquettish baby talk on and off speaks volumes about her true nature. 

[Kyanight]

"But just days after the show premiered on TLC, Auralee had gotten so many comments about the way she speaks that she decided to write a blog post to explain why she sounds like she has a strange accent. "My Grandma is Danish and says I look and speak just like the people in Denmark and just to accept it as my heritage. 'You have a Danish accent,' she would tell me," she wrote. "But, I have trouble accepting that because although I have Danish blood, I am the only person in my family with a 'Danish accent.' This leads to many jokes like I genetically inherited a Danish accent, LOL. My school told me it was a lisp so I accepted that (seemed more logical). Unfortunately, my school didn’t have a good therapist to help me."

"However, it has been brought to my attention recently from a speech therapist who sounds like they are a lot more knowledgeable then [sic] my 'speech therapist' in elementary school, that it is not a lisp at all!" she continued. "It is just some articulation challenges that with the proper instruction, I can overcome! I would LOVE that. Now I just need to find a GOOD therapist who is able to help me."

[grammaester]

13 hours ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

Ugh. Still trying to finish up this festival of terrible choices, but it's rough. I don't know if I'll keep watching.

April, Auralee, and Angela are all toxic. I can't stand any of them, but Auralee is the ultimate snake. Also, I am not making fun of her voice (I know some people were deeply, personally concerned about this), but it is extremely distracting, and I have to make a conscious effort not to let it affect my impression of her intelligence or maturity. It is just criminal that her parents let her get to adulthood talking like that. 

I fully admit that I am a terrible person but I just DGAF about this non-pregnancy thing. Like, I'm vaguely sorry that a person is not well, but it's just hard to feel like it's a huge loss that a plyg family didn't bring yet another innocent child into this demented lifestyle, and a delusional woman didn't get to affirm yet again that her only value in life is to reproduce. Sorry, just not my worldview so I can't get too sad when it fails. 

Being not-married to Dimitri must be like a 21st century version of being "married" to Joseph Smith -- a horny egomaniac inventing a belief system to justify his poonhounding by couching it in pseudo-religious/pseudo-anthropological mumbo jumbo. In the first episode I thought D. was really attractive but the more I see of his personality, the uglier he becomes. What a tool.

This show is quickly falling into the category of "depressing crap I watch to feel better about my own life," along with Hoarders and My 600-Lb. Life. 

Excellent thoughts Jocelyn! I'm addicted as I just can't believe that intelligent people can delude themselves to this degree especially Dmitri and Ashley. It makes me understand how the Jim jones and other cult tragedies happened and I'm absolutely fascinated.  This show makes the people on Sister Wives look like they're emotionally mature and on the right path. LOL 

6 hours ago, Spiderella2 said:

This show proves once again that polygamy does not work. The only happy person in polygamy is the man, because he is a de facto King, constantly worshipped and adored. Everyone else is miserable, subverting all their true emotions and needs to the point of insanity. Wow, this episode made me sorry for all the wives. Except for April. The only default response to April should always be “FU April”. 

The Brineys

April - this wife is spitting mad that Angela gives her no attention. She is so used to being the center of the household, the butterfly that everyone surrounds. That is why she talks in that quiet baby voice, it’s all a manipulation to get you to PAY ATTENTION TO APRIL. When Angela tried to have the conversation with her about her attitude in Episode 3, April stormed out because she didn’t want to have the conversation at that time. I love that Angela now ignores her, no matter what April says to try to get her attention. Angela just gives her the blank look and gives her not one iota. April  said so many passive agreesive comments, snarky remarks, jabs and digs to Angela. 

Auralee - she is so glad that April’s drama is not directed at her. So she takes that opportunity to plan a camping trip, something which I’m sure she loves doing, which in the past April probably vetoed. But now that April is not paying attention [to me since I watched her kids on her anniversary weekend], let me organize, plan and have that family camping trip. I see you Auralee. Stealth mode. I still think she is somehow the queen bee and is the one making April spiral, after all, still waters run deep. 

Drew - seriously, man up. Where is your nut sack? In April’s purse obviously. You can’t handle a weekend’s sexual romp without dying on the floor the next day! So what makes you think you can handle one wife, let alone three? Angela came to you pleading for help after being harrasssed again by the household bully aka April, your accursed first wife.  She was in tears and needed comfort, support, and help. It was a perfect setup to increase your intimacy and bring you closer, and you blew it. Disgrace. Drew, what useless advice was that? You pretty much just told her to give her bully “more love” and if that doesn’t work to “ask God”. Let me decide that for you…| ~ Angela, you are screwed girl, take your one son Leo and run for the hills. They are all pawns of April, so if you don’t want to be a pawn, run! Dumb Drew, why did you build 3 tents when you have 3 wives? Did you expect April & Angela to share a tent while you are curled up with Auralee (she is way too peppy for this not to be her night)? Why do that when you promised Angela you would help keep things smooth on the camping trip?

Angela - honey, I have a hard time believing this is your Second Act, your Happily ever after. This can’t be what you dreamed of when your divorced Mr. I-Don’t-Want-Kids McFatty. The honeymoon stage didn’t even last a year. This is why you try before you buy. If you had courted them for longer than 2 weeks, you would have seen that April is Batshit Crazy, Auralee is Spiralling Down and Drew is Pathetically Emasculated. Anyway, you have to lie on the bed you have made so let’s dive into this. Here are some truths that I want you to read when ever you start doubting yourself or buying the shit that the Britney’s are selling. Here are a few truths;

1. April is crazy. So is Auralee. Do not believe anything they tell you. Neither of them is your friend, talk less of your sister.
2. The only person you can trust is yourself. You cannot trust neither of your sister wives. You cannot trust Drew. They all have a deeper, longer history together, and you are the newbie.  You are and will always be the outsider looking in. They will believe each other over you, and they will be more loyal to each other over you
3. Set firm boundaries. This is the only way you will be able to create a space for yourself in this family. Communicate those boundaries consistently and repeatedly until it is engrained in everyone, even the kids. 
4. You have to take the time to build a relationship with each of the kids, outside of their mothers. Get consent from the Moms in front of Drew and the kids so they can’t back down and change minds later. Figure out an activity or event to do with each kid, and make this a regular thing, every few weeks. The kids will apppreciate the extra effort you are making. It will also make them each feel special. They probably don’t have a lot of opportunities for individualized attention outside of negative attention. Not only will it get benefits in the family, it can also create a ripple effect that will allow the Moms to love and accept all your kids too. 
5. Do not mix your money with their money. Yes, take your fair share from the general pot, but do not put your own life savings into it. Keep a separate bank account that none of them know about, the more you can stash away for yourself the Leo, the better. 
6. It is okay to breastfeed without a coverlet in the privacy of your own home. April doesn’t want you breastfeeding in common areas because she doesn’t want Drew to see you that way. It gets him incredibly turned on and she’s jealous. 
7. Its okay to take however long you need to care for and breastfeed your child. Leo is the baby that you prayed and hoped for over 20 years. Love him as much as you can and care for him as best as you can. April wants you to give Leo less attention so you can give her and her kids more attention. Don’t spread yourself thin or take from your child for someone else’s. 
8. It’s nice to see you standing up for yourself. Do not let them guilt you into doing something you are not comfortable doing. It’s incredibly hard to go from having 0 kids to 1 kid. But to make the leap from 1 kid to 8 kids is absolutely insane and should not be done unless in an emergency. This is why #4 is integral and should be prioritized. 
9. You can still leave. Leaving is not off the table. This lifestyle is not for everyone, and if you are not happy, leave. Do not limit you or Leo's happiness for anyone or anything. You are gorgeous, a good woman with a good heart. Any man would be lucky to have you. Be with someone who sees and appreciates that. 

Fabulous advice! If you're not in some sort of psychology/counseling profession, you should be. 

[shouldbedancing]

13 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

"But just days after the show premiered on TLC, Auralee had gotten so many comments about the way she speaks that she decided to write a blog post to explain why she sounds like she has a strange accent. "My Grandma is Danish and says I look and speak just like the people in Denmark and just to accept it as my heritage. 'You have a Danish accent,' she would tell me," she wrote. "But, I have trouble accepting that because although I have Danish blood, I am the only person in my family with a 'Danish accent.' This leads to many jokes like I genetically inherited a Danish accent, LOL. My school told me it was a lisp so I accepted that (seemed more logical). Unfortunately, my school didn’t have a good therapist to help me."

"However, it has been brought to my attention recently from a speech therapist who sounds like they are a lot more knowledgeable then [sic] my 'speech therapist' in elementary school, that it is not a lisp at all!" she continued. "It is just some articulation challenges that with the proper instruction, I can overcome! I would LOVE that. Now I just need to find a GOOD therapist who is able to help me."

Interesting. I wonder why this took so long. Because to me it's obvious she didn't learn how to talk properly past age 3. That's no lisp, that's baby talk. Did she grow up in a fundie compound somewhere? I hope she does work to fix it.

[grammaester]

12 hours ago, Pachengala said:

I think if she had any power at all, their relationship would be monogamous.

 

She should be furious, but as in all polygamous relationships, her needs are subverted in order to ensure his are met. She isn’t allowed to be angry at him, so she takes her anger out on the other woman (see also: the Briney wives). The power imbalance that polygamy creates—indeed, is *designed* to create—is sick and misogynistic, no matter how progressive it’s costumed to be. 

This show is so dark I mostly just read here instead of watching. I feel like we’re witnessing these women be gaslit, and it’s actually making them insane.

That is an interesting take. Yes they are being gaslit in a way although Ashley is in a different category in my opinion. I think she is actively participating in gaslighting these girls they hook up with. She is definitely in need of serious counseling. What they did to that young girl was cruel in my eyes. I'm sure she assumed Dmitri would know if it was ok if they slept together. She kept looking at him during the luncheon, bewildered as to why he wasn't bringing up their night together. She just didn't know what to say or do. Ashley just sat there sadistically watching her squirm. Yikes. 

[fountain]

The molar pregnancy is interesting because from my understanding you are supposed to wait at least a year before attempting another pregnancy (I had figured last week that is what it probably was as I knew someone who had a molar pregnancy).  I would think that would be really hard for these unlimited babies families. I thought they handled the ultrasound well with the kids, asking them to leave the room.  I don’t think they should have discussed the mass with the kids at that time.

[dreadfulLeigh]

15 hours ago, sainte-chapelle said:

If this isn't fake I feel so bad for Vanessa. April saying thank you to Aurlee for planning was a but passive aggressive with her "normally I do all of this " and Aurlee's bitchy uhuh response was amazing.

That was so hilarious. I literally LOL’d. April so gushing saccharine sweet treacle, then Auralee’s deadpan “uhh-huh” ? 

[dreadfulLeigh]

Why the fuck is it Jocelyn’s responsibility to cop to the “intimacy”??? Maybe probably for her, dating someone means guilt free sex—sorry, intimacy. Even if she genuinely desired to be part of this family and sisterhood ?,  that doesn’t mean she knows or even chooses to follow their boundaries. How did Dimitri get out of being the sole one responsible for this “intimacy”?? Was he so helpless against their love at first sight shit?? They’re his damn boundaries! So many questions. And why did Ashley and Dimitri sit there like some king and queen flicking Jocelyn off like a speck of dirt? So much for twoo lwuve. And wtf is up with intimacy? Did ya have sex or not? Couching in this pansy ass euphemism might be the most annoying part of these super progressive open minded super duper super people. 

14 hours ago, MoodyGirl said:

I think Dmitri was smitten with his new plaything and was sad to see her go. It was very bitchy and rude for them to remain seated while she left—like see ya...Bye! I mean Dmitri could have been a MATURE person and stood and walked her out and said hey this isn’t going to work or something. For all their talk of maturity I thought this was a very immature way to say this isn’t going to work.  And boy is that Ashley bitchy—that resting bitch face and constant snarling is really not attractive at all. She seems to have all the power in this duo—she will basically say no to any lady he brings home. 

Well, all the power in so much that her partner still gets his rocks off without having to even bring anyone into their family/sisterhood. 

[StayingAfterSunday]

15 hours ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

Ugh. Still trying to finish up this festival of terrible choices, but it's rough. I don't know if I'll keep watching.

April, Auralee, and Angela are all toxic. I can't stand any of them, but Auralee is the ultimate snake. Also, I am not making fun of her voice (I know some people were deeply, personally concerned about this), but it is extremely distracting, and I have to make a conscious effort not to let it affect my impression of her intelligence or maturity. It is just criminal that her parents let her get to adulthood talking like that. 

I fully admit that I am a terrible person but I just DGAF about this non-pregnancy thing. Like, I'm vaguely sorry that a person is not well, but it's just hard to feel like it's a huge loss that a plyg family didn't bring yet another innocent child into this demented lifestyle, and a delusional woman didn't get to affirm yet again that her only value in life is to reproduce. Sorry, just not my worldview so I can't get too sad when it fails. 

Being not-married to Dimitri must be like a 21st century version of being "married" to Joseph Smith -- a horny egomaniac inventing a belief system to justify his poonhounding by couching it in pseudo-religious/pseudo-anthropological mumbo jumbo. In the first episode I thought D. was really attractive but the more I see of his personality, the uglier he becomes. What a tool.

This show is quickly falling into the category of "depressing crap I watch to feel better about my own life," along with Hoarders and My 600-Lb. Life. 

Oh, yes to all of this!  I got a kick out of your last paragraph since those shows provide ersatz therapy for me, too.  I draw the line at "Intervention," though, as this show depresses me more than anything else.

Auralee and April are so similar it's eerie.  Did you notice April's creepy smile is her attempt to duplicate Auralee's same faux smile?  How interesting it was to watch April's inability to sustain that grin; when it quickly dissolved, the expression that replaced it could not conceal her true nature: A look of raw malice.  It gave me the chills. 

I'm not sure about Angela just yet, but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. Being sandwiched between two scheming troublemakers like April and Auralee would bring out the worst in anyone.  Angela should create an exit plan now, before she's corrupted by that household's malevalent underpinnings.

Edited February 19, 2018 by StayingAfterSunday

[fountain]

1 hour ago, shouldbedancing said:

Interesting. I wonder why this took so long. Because to me it's obvious she didn't learn how to talk properly past age 3. That's no lisp, that's baby talk. Did she grow up in a fundie compound somewhere? I hope she does work to fix it.

We needed speech therapy for our daughter and you wouldn’t believe how many relatives insisted our daughter would grow out of it.  Some of the people even seemed angry/offended about it yet it was our money being spent and wasn’t their business.  So I can see how family could brush it off as an accent just from my own personal experience.

[dreadfulLeigh]

April: ugh, poor stupid Angela just goes away from all us awesome people because her feewings are hurt. How rude. Ugh. 

[Sasha888]

8 hours ago, Spiderella2 said:

Angela came to you pleading for help after being harrasssed again by the household bully aka April, your accursed first wife.  She was in tears and needed comfort, support, and help. It was a perfect setup to increase your intimacy and bring you closer, and you blew it. Disgrace. Drew, what useless advice was that? You pretty much just told her to give her bully “more love” and if that doesn’t work to “ask God”.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought this was ridiculous advice. Man up, Drewfus! This is not just a relationship between these 3 women - YOU are involved, too. He just sits there, expecting the three of them to work it out! This is a group dynamic, and as the husband, you are part of that group, so don't just sit there and check out of the situation like an ineffectual idiot. 

I think he likes to just ignore the situation as a whole, and finds it easier to just deal with each wife one on one. Well isn't that nice for you, buddy! You just extract yourself and have three separate relationships. The problem with that is, the group dynamic is TOXIC, and he should give a shit that his children are being raised in a toxic environment.

[xwordfanatik]

15 hours ago, JocelynCavanaugh said:

Ugh. Still trying to finish up this festival of terrible choices, but it's rough. I don't know if I'll keep watching.

April, Auralee, and Angela are all toxic. I can't stand any of them, but Auralee is the ultimate snake. Also, I am not making fun of her voice (I know some people were deeply, personally concerned about this), but it is extremely distracting, and I have to make a conscious effort not to let it affect my impression of her intelligence or maturity. It is just criminal that her parents let her get to adulthood talking like that. 

I fully admit that I am a terrible person but I just DGAF about this non-pregnancy thing. Like, I'm vaguely sorry that a person is not well, but it's just hard to feel like it's a huge loss that a plyg family didn't bring yet another innocent child into this demented lifestyle, and a delusional woman didn't get to affirm yet again that her only value in life is to reproduce. Sorry, just not my worldview so I can't get too sad when it fails. 

Being not-married to Dimitri must be like a 21st century version of being "married" to Joseph Smith -- a horny egomaniac inventing a belief system to justify his poonhounding by couching it in pseudo-religious/pseudo-anthropological mumbo jumbo. In the first episode I thought D. was really attractive but the more I see of his personality, the uglier he becomes. What a tool.

This show is quickly falling into the category of "depressing crap I watch to feel better about my own life," along with Hoarders and My 600-Lb. Life. 

@JocelynCavanaugh, I love this post, and especially the last line.  I watch crap TV and am very thankful I wasn't born into a cult, raised by moronic people, didn't eat myself into oblivion, etc.  My thought about Joseph Smith?  Horny egomaniac (just like you said) that invented a fucked-up "religion", like L. Ron Hubbard came up with Scientology as a tax dodge.  Spot on, your entire post.  I want to give it a hundred likes.