S07.E11: Unconfuse Your Brain

[gunderda]

7 minutes ago, charmed1 said:

When Butch was walking around with that candelabra, he sounded exactly how my uncle sounds right after he’s finished “partying” with his buddies. I suspect Butch was celebrating his last hurrah before rehab when Tyler picked him up. 

Absolutely.  And I think Tyler knew it and that also irritated him about being there.  Both his sister and dad seemed a bit manic. 

[GreatKazu]

20 hours ago, usernameG said:

I don't. He knew what he was getting into. I feel bad for their unborn child.

I read this too fast and though it read "unicorn" child. With all this unicorn stuff, it didn't faze me. I actually like it. 

 

10 minutes ago, charmed1 said:

When Butch was walking around with that candelabra, he sounded exactly how my uncle sounds right after he’s finished “partying” with his buddies. I suspect Butch was celebrating his last hurrah before rehab when Tyler picked him up. 

Yes! It was somewhat painful to watch. 

Tyler's sister, Amber, was talking pretty damn fast. She sounded like the people I knew who were meth addicts. Very manic. 

Hearing Cate say to Butch about Amber, "She needs to figure it out" and all that therapy lingo, you know she has heard all that herself about her own issues. 

Edited February 15, 2018 by GreatKazu

[ghoulina]

I agree, Butch was definitely trying to get one last fix in before rehab. I assume that's fairly common. 

[FairyDusted]

Where is Kim in this mess? Pretty sure Amber lived there based on the toys set up in her backyard. Not that Kim HAS to do something for sure! I guess she was going to relax and sleep? Hey Basic Bitch….How about a shower and a round of baths while the dinner you prepared is in the oven? 

[gunderda]

33 minutes ago, FairyDusted said:

Where is Kim in this mess? Pretty sure Amber lived there based on the toys set up in her backyard. Not that Kim HAS to do something for sure! I guess she was going to relax and sleep? Hey Basic Bitch….How about a shower and a round of baths while the dinner you prepared is in the oven? 

Amber did mention she was going over to her mom's house later, and couldn't wait so that she could do nothing all day. 

[StatisticalOutlier]

21 hours ago, Bridget said:

I was appalled by Ryan's behavior on Halloween. Just appalled. It looks (to me) like Ryan doesn't even want to be around Bentley, and when he was mouthing off to Mimi Jen about "Don't start in on me about seeing Bentley....", my heart broke for Bentley. The fact that dumbass Ryan said it OUT LOUD and ON CAMERA only proves what we all know: he's using again. No matter when/if Bentley ever sees that footage and whether or not he has a relationship with Ryan, watching his dad say that about him will be indescribably painful.

...

FTR: My dad doesn't drink (he's from N. Ireland and never had a drop - true story!), smoke or do drugs. He never physically abused us. He is a workaholic who wasn't meant to get married & have kids. He's also always had the same level of interest in his children (all two of us!) that Amber has in Booger Butt. (Leah's another lucky one who already knows her mom is a loser, but she's got Gary & Kristina, so she will be OK.)

I think this show may actually work in Bentley's favor, in a weird way.  I recently listened to an old interview on Fresh Air.  I can't remember who the subject was, but he was talking about how he never thought his dad loved him, and people would always say, "Of course he loves you."  Then many years later, he asked his dad if he loved him, and his dad said he didn't, that he had never wanted to have kids in the first place.

Terry Gross exclaimed about how awful that was, and the guy said no, it was actually very freeing because it confirmed what he'd thought his entire life, and made him realize that he was right and he wasn't crazy for thinking it.

So if Bentley sees the footage, he won't have to actually ask the question, never mind late in life, and can have the realization slowly come over him that he's right--his dad doesn't want to have anything to do with him. 

[mamadrama]

1 hour ago, ghoulina said:

I agree, Butch was definitely trying to get one last fix in before rehab. I assume that's fairly common. 

In some cases nurses travel with patients to rehab. Not only do they allow them to have a "fix" before leaving, but they even administer things like klonopin and valium along the way. 

Sounds weird but that's actually something that I understand. Never been on anything illegal, never taken anything illegally, but I have been through withdrawal and it is a BITCH.  If you're flying or traveling long hours by car, just traveling or being with someone going though withdrawal would not be pleasant. Some people are so addicted that stopping cold turkey could literally kill them. I've gone cold turkey twice. The third time I stopped, when I decided that oxycodone just wasn't worth the hassle, I wound up in the hospital. I think many addicts stay addicted due to the fear of withdrawal. I can vouch for it, it's quite horrible. 

I had no idea how truly addictive smoking was until my husband tried to quit. I had never touched a cigarette. For a year I was like, "You HAVE to quit, you've gotta quit, I'll do anything to help you quit!" I spouted off all the research about health benefits to quitting, etc. So he stopped. After  days of pure hellish behavior and physical symptoms of nicotine withdrawal, no shit, I threatened to drive him to the tobacco store myself. 

I do hope MTV is paying for this. I hope Tyler isn't dishing it out himself. It can take several stints in rehab to actually quit and considering how long Butch has been at it...

[Caracoa1]

I understand that Cate and Tyler are not responsible for his niece and nephew but unfortunately they are the ones suffering from their mother's addiction.  Doesn't Cate remember as a child that feeling when you would see a friend or relative and be thinking to yourself "Please help me, I'm hungry cuz mom didn't buy any food, I'm not sure where we're sleeping tonight".  Very sad

[Bridget]

2 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I think this show may actually work in Bentley's favor, in a weird way.  I recently listened to an old interview on Fresh Air.  I can't remember who the subject was, but he was talking about how he never thought his dad loved him, and people would always say, "Of course he loves you."  Then many years later, he asked his dad if he loved him, and his dad said he didn't, that he had never wanted to have kids in the first place.

Terry Gross exclaimed about how awful that was, and the guy said no, it was actually very freeing because it confirmed what he'd thought his entire life, and made him realize that he was right and he wasn't crazy for thinking it.

So if Bentley sees the footage, he won't have to actually ask the question, never mind late in life, and can have the realization slowly come over him that he's right--his dad doesn't want to have anything to do with him. 

It does make sense (to me) when seen through the perspective of the Fresh Air interview. I agree with the interview subject.

Thank you so much for that information - truly! I am going to try to find that interview over the weekend. 

[StatisticalOutlier]

17 minutes ago, Bridget said:

It does make sense (to me) when seen through the perspective of the Fresh Air interview. I agree with the interview subject.

Thank you so much for that information - truly! I am going to try to find that interview over the weekend. 

I figured out who it was--Neal Brennan, co-creator of Chapelle's Show, interviewed a year ago:

https://www.npr.org/2017/02/22/516739139/chappelles-show-co-creator-moves-into-the-limelight-with-3-mics?live=1

The part about his dad not loving him is only a small part, and it seems like he's through talking about it but she asks a follow-up and gets a real funny answer. 

[GreatKazu]

3 hours ago, Caracoa1 said:

I understand that Cate and Tyler are not responsible for his niece and nephew but unfortunately they are the ones suffering from their mother's addiction.  Doesn't Cate remember as a child that feeling when you would see a friend or relative and be thinking to yourself "Please help me, I'm hungry cuz mom didn't buy any food, I'm not sure where we're sleeping tonight".  Very sad

Right. Those kids are suffering. It is the responsibility of the parents. 

It is human nature to want to help. But when it comes to addicts, you have to let things be. Cate said "Amber has to figure it out" is pretty much what is told to family and enablers of addicts by addiction specialists, therapists, and in addiction groups. 

Every time an addict is rescued from their responsibilities, there is no incentive to get better. Giving them a safety net for their problems only prolongs the problem. Look at Cate. She has had the safety net of MTV for almost 8 years now and she is barely nudging herself into treatment. 

Unless an adult can take those kids out of harm's way by making themselves a legal guardian or if there is abuse going on, call the authorities, but other than that, helping an addict to pay their rent, their bills, or any of their obligations, you are not helping. You are perpetuating the behavior. Helping them only fuels their addiction. Tyler has obviously enabled her and Butch by providing them a rent-free drug den. 

Edited February 16, 2018 by GreatKazu

[Bridget]

8 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

Right. Those kids are suffering. It is the responsibility of the parents. 

It is human nature to want to help. But when it comes to addicts, you have to let things be. Cate said "Amber has to figure it out" is pretty much what is told to family and enablers of addicts by addiction specialists, therapists, and in addiction groups. 

Every time an addict is rescued from their responsibilities, there is no incentive to get better. Giving them a safety net for their problems only prolongs the problem. Look at Cate. She has had the safety net of MTV for almost 8 years now and she is barely nudging herself into treatment. 

Unless an adult can take those kids out of harm's way by making themselves a legal guardian or if there is abuse going on, call the authorities, but other than that, helping an addict to pay their rent, their bills, or any of their obligations, you are not helping. You are perpetuating the behavior. Helping them only fuels their addiction. Tyler has obviously enabled her and Butch by providing them a rent-free drug den. 

 

I am standing up and clapping. All of your points are valid, especially about enabling addict(s) with a safety net and how it prolongs the problem. 

Most of us figured out how to "adult" despite of our various and mixed bag of backgrounds. Many of us have suffered losses, questioned our faith, cried a lot, have life shit on us again, but we still get up and take care of business.

I wish ALL enablers would realize how much they are robbing the addicts of even the slightest chance to live like a real adult. 

On 2/14/2018 at 6:00 PM, Rebecca said:

He better get used to her claiming he doesn’t know anything and yelling about how she knows everything regarding babies and children. Even though we all know she barely did anything for Leah as a baby or toddler, then was in the gel and scarcely is involved even now and Leah is 9 at this point. It’s going to piss me off. It already does when she starts going on about taking this seriously and what is needed.

I love you. That’s all. Lol.

Awwww thanks! I love you too! 

 

On 2/14/2018 at 11:04 PM, GreatKazu said:

When Farrah again mentioned Jenelle having called her, I wondered, has there ever been any beef between those two?

You are amazing.

Thank you for the kind words. I really do appreciate them - truly. 

Edited February 16, 2018 by Bridget
Forgot my manners & content

[GreatKazu]

Quote

Most of us figured out how to "adult" despite of our various and mixed bag of backgrounds. Many of us have suffered losses, questioned our faith, cried a lot, have life shit on us again, but we still get up and take care of business.

So true. Many of us can sit down and write books on what we have endured in our lives. 

I hope I don't come off insensitive, as I do have a place in my heart for people with addictions. I know many adults, like Amber, grew up with DV and addiction. The odds were she would end up just like her dad, Butch. I have witnessed what addicts do to loved ones and the people around them including children. Having dealt with at least two addicts in my life, I finally had to educate myself on the matter. It was an eye-opener. It still doesn't mean I don't get angry and pissed off. I am after all, human. 

[Bridget]

8 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

So true. Many of us can sit down and write books on what we have endured in our lives. 

I hope I don't come off insensitive, as I do have a place in my heart for people with addictions. I know many adults, like Amber, grew up with DV and addiction. The odds were she would end up just like her dad, Butch. I have witnessed what addicts do to loved ones and the people around them including children. Having dealt with at least two addicts in my life, I finally had to educate myself on the matter. It was an eye-opener. It still doesn't mean I don't get angry and pissed off. I am after all, human. 

You're not insensitive at all! It's the love you do have for the addicts in your life that brought you to the point of facing fear and doing what do many people do not do: educate themselves and then act on it.

You're not going to enable people and allow them to harm themselves because you're "too afraid" to practice tough love/common sense/being a loving person.

The addicts in your life should be thankful they have you! I know that anyone else involved (indirectly or directly) in families with addicts (not in recovery) would still be stuck on that God awful cycle of one emotional roller coaster after another, followed by WW85 and are so grateful as well. Only a few people can lay the smackdown, both legally and emotionally, on those who need it.

It's damn near impossible to be forced to sit on the sidelines and watch pure craziness fall down around you when the person who needs to cut the cord sticks their head in the sand instead.

[teapot]

3 hours ago, Bridget said:

 

You're not going to enable people and allow them to harm themselves because you're "too afraid" to practice tough love/common sense/being a loving person.

 

that's why that show Intervention pisses me off.  You'll see  a thirty-year-old who has never had a job, living at home with a "thousand dollar a day heroin habit" supplied by their parent, who also cooks and cleans for them in addition to working full-time and caring for other children (maybe even the addict's).

Mind you, I'm fortunate enough to never have experienced anything like that at all, so I'm really not one to judge, but I kind of can't help it!

[GreatKazu]

2 hours ago, teapot said:

that's why that show Intervention pisses me off.  You'll see  a thirty-year-old who has never had a job, living at home with a "thousand dollar a day heroin habit" supplied by their parent, who also cooks and cleans for them in addition to working full-time and caring for other children (maybe even the addict's).

Mind you, I'm fortunate enough to never have experienced anything like that at all, so I'm really not one to judge, but I kind of can't help it!

That show upsets me as well. Those enablers are not yet ready just like the addict is not ready to commit to a change. When you have done something for years it is hard to break the pattern. 

5 hours ago, Bridget said:

You're not insensitive at all! It's the love you do have for the addicts in your life that brought you to the point of facing fear and doing what do many people do not do: educate themselves and then act on it.

You're not going to enable people and allow them to harm themselves because you're "too afraid" to practice tough love/common sense/being a loving person.

The addicts in your life should be thankful they have you! I know that anyone else involved (indirectly or directly) in families with addicts (not in recovery) would still be stuck on that God awful cycle of one emotional roller coaster after another, followed by WW85 and are so grateful as well. Only a few people can lay the smackdown, both legally and emotionally, on those who need it.

It's damn near impossible to be forced to sit on the sidelines and watch pure craziness fall down around you when the person who needs to cut the cord sticks their head in the sand instead.

Spot on.

It is definitely hard to sit back and not have a feeling to do something. That feeling of having that burden and that heavy weight lifted off of your shoulders when you put your foot down and decide to no longer enable, comes as such a relief. It doesn't automatically feel that way at first, but as time passes it is such a different feeling to be able to detach. Letting the addict know you will be there for them when they decide to get help, is all anyone can do. 

I think Tyler is slowly reaching that point. He isn't "there" yet. He is surrounded by all of these addicts and their problems. It has to take a toll on the guy. He has the same worrisome thoughts about his dad as his dad has about the grandchildren. Tyler has a lot on his plate.

MTV the almighty drug pusher connecting all of these people. 

Edited February 16, 2018 by GreatKazu

[Kb60]

10 minutes ago, GreatKazu said:

That show upsets me as well. Those enablers are not yet ready just like the addict is not ready to commit to a change. When you have done something for years it is hard to break the pattern. 

Spot on.

It is definitely hard to sit back and not have a feeling to do something. That feeling of having that burden and that heavy weight lifted off of your shoulders when you put your foot down and decide to no longer enable, comes as such a relief. It doesn't automatically feel that way at first, but as time passes it is such a different feeling to be able to detach. Letting the addict know you will be there for them when they decide to get help, is all anyone can do. 

I think Tyler is slowly reaching that point. He isn't "there" yet. He is surrounded by all of these addicts and their problems. It has to take a toll on the guy. He has the same worrisome thoughts about his dad as his dad has about the grandchildren. Tyler has a lot on his plate.

MTV the almighty drug pusher connecting all of these people. 

This is so true. Having been on both sides, it is truly liberating to finally break free of addiction and enabling.

[druzy]

[GreatKazu]

17 minutes ago, Kb60 said:

This is so true. Having been on both sides, it is truly liberating to finally break free of addiction and enabling.

I am glad for you for having done both. :-) 

My god, Amber Baltierra's eyes are so dark and her bags are so huge. 

[CofCinci]

Just now, GreatKazu said:

I am glad for you for having done both. :-) 

My god, Amber Baltierra's eyes are so dark and her bags are so huge. 

It’s because she washes dogs all day!!!

[GreatKazu]

1 minute ago, CofCinci said:

It’s because she washes dogs all day!!!

lol

My pet groomer must not be a hard worker like Amber. 

[FairyDusted]

Damn she looks worse than I originally thought, if that's possible.

[ghoulina]

I think the enabler position is harder when there are innocent kids involved. I get that the more you do for the addict, the less likely they are to get their shit together....but Amber's kids didn't ask for that life. I'd have a hard time not helping them. It's definitely a tough position to be in. 

[MakingBacon]

My guess is that Tyler has helped out Amber and her kids many, many times. He likely knows that no matter what he does it will never be enough. Addicts will always have their hand out for money that will never be used on necessities. 

As much as I snark on Tyler and Cate, for two people who came from incredibly dysfunctional backgrounds, I give them credit for creating a much better life for their child. Now they still have a dysfunctional household but it is no where near what Amber’s kids seem to be living with. They seem to be trying to make it the best they can even though they don’t seem to have been raised to be healthy, functional adults.

[Meatball]

3 hours ago, MakingBacon said:

As much as I snark on Tyler and Cate, for two people who came from incredibly dysfunctional backgrounds, I give them credit for creating a much better life for their child.

MTV dropped a shitload of money into their laps which is how they have created a life for their child to offer up a piece of shit to guests. Tyler and Catelynn didn’t do anything except have dysfunctional, trashy sex which resulted in them winning the lottery. The two of them have done NOTHING to better themselves in the years since their 16 & Pregnant episode. They accepted thousands of dollars from people who thought they were serious about attending college for “social working” but unfortunately they (C&T) were too fucking stupid to even understand what major they wanted. They barely graduated from high school and were too stupid for college. Yes, that’s right, they were too fucking stupid to get through a community college/continuing education program.

THEY did nothing for their child. MTV did it all. 

(No anger at you, MakingBacon because mmmmmm...bacon! But just truth as to what these fuck nuts have actually done which is NOTHING without MTV money.)

[CofCinci]

4 hours ago, MakingBacon said:

As much as I snark on Tyler and Cate, for two people who came from incredibly dysfunctional backgrounds, I give them credit for creating a much better life for their child. Now they still have a dysfunctional household but it is no where near what Amber’s kids seem to be living with. They seem to be trying to make it the best they can even though they don’t seem to have been raised to be healthy, functional adults.

They? What is this ‘they’ you speak of? Tyler does all the heavy lifting. Catelynn is a pig who is content living in filth. 

[GreatKazu]

Quote

I give them credit for creating a much better life for their child.

@MakingBacon (cute username BTW) Credit goes to April and Butch for raising Nova.

In case it has been forgotten, per Tyler's own words, Nova spends at least two weeks per month with April. It might be more. It's been so long since I have had to point that out that I am not sure how many weeks he said. Yes, WEEKS, plural. 

ETA: I just remembered. He said to Kinko Kathleen that Nova spends five days of the week with April. Now that she is in daycare, I am sure that number has changed. 

Edited February 17, 2018 by GreatKazu

[FairyDusted]

Good Lord! Why would you send off your child so often. I was allowed to stay with my Grands once in a while at that age but my Parents had limits on me being away from home.

[GreatKazu]

21 minutes ago, FairyDusted said:

Good Lord! Why would you send off your child so often. I was allowed to stay with my Grands once in a while at that age but my Parents had limits on me being away from home.

Tyler has his hands full with the other child - Cate.

[FairyDusted]

Good point @GreatKazu!

[Caracoa1]

What is Kim's story? (Tyler's mom).  Was she actually married to Butch?  And...didn't Amber (Tyler's sister) give some big fking speech at the wedding about what a deadbeat their Dad was?

[FairyDusted]

And she apparently dated and married a guy in-between seasons after Tyler took her to the beauty shop! 

[mamadrama]

8 hours ago, FairyDusted said:

Good Lord! Why would you send off your child so often. I was allowed to stay with my Grands once in a while at that age but my Parents had limits on me being away from home.

My son stays with his grandma one night a week. He would probably stay longer but I miss him too much and won't let him. My daughter doesn't want to go at all. She's a homebody. 

[TheRealT]

On 2/13/2018 at 3:09 PM, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

For everyone asking what is wrong with Tyler's sister: Drugs. Drugs are what's wrong with Tyler's sister.

I know we snark on Tyler and Cate for thinking they've come so far & are killing it at parenting Nova (while she picks up dog turds as they play on social media and ignore her), but this episode is a good reminder of just why Tyler & Cate think they're doing so well. Nova doesn't have to worry about having a roof over her head, her parents not paying the light bill, or there not being any food in the house. Compared to Tyler and Cate's childhood, which was likely similar to what we saw at Tyler's sister's, Nova has it made. No wonder C&T think they're doing so much better and are great parents - compared to the childhoods & parenting they're familiar with, they are. (And yes, this is all because of a MTV show about teens who got knocked up rather than C&T's hard work or pursuing educations, but still....)

Very true. T&C annoy me, but I do feel bad for them and it's true that they're doing way better as parents/adults than some/many/most of their family members. You are spot on with the observation that T&C don't even really realize how/why they are lacking as parents because, to them, if you're providing a nice home with electricity and other amenities, not doing hard drugs, feeding your kids, and not beating or egregiously emotionally/verbally abusing them, you're the kind of amazing parent about whom they fantasized throughout their childhoods/lives. They are undoubtedly the most successful and admired people in their social circle, so it's unlikely that they have much in the way of examples of parenting/adulting that are clearly superior to what they're doing or aspirational to them. I wonder how much they're tuned into/try to emulate Brandon and Teresa's parenting/lifestyle, or even the MTV producers'.

Not that I'm saying B&T or the producers are necessarily exemplary parents/human beings (I actually am not crazy about B&T and I think the producers are shady in many ways), but they are people who have been in T&C's orbit for years and whose socioeconomic/educational/cultural backgrounds are pretty different from T&C's. T&C don't like how fucked up Butch, Amber, April, and whoever else are, but they also seem to be largely ok with it and don't seem to get how leaving their child in the care of those people, sometimes for extended periods, might not be a good idea. I assume that B&T and the producers know fewer details of how Butch, Amber, and April live than T&C do, but would NEVER leave their children in any of those people's care for even an hour, much less days at a time. They probably wouldn't leave their kids with C&T, knowing what they do about them (we know that is true of B&T). Yet, T&C either don't think about that, or that fact (along with people calling them out on SM) doesn't affect their decisions about whom to entrust with their child's care.

On 2/14/2018 at 3:09 PM, AirQuotes said:

I am concerned about this poor little unborn baby of Amber's.  I can imagine NewMatt trying to take care of the baby but Psycho Amber having some bizarre, unmedicated mental illness delusion yelling at him that he is doing it wrong.  I hope for the baby's sake the cameras stay around for a little while longer.  At least the TM OG camera crew are people in the house to keep a watch over the situation.

You don't have to imagine that scenario. You can watch old episodes of TM and see it playing out with Amber, Gary, and Leah. I remember a scene where they had just come home from somewhere and toddler Leah was playing with toys. Amber was agitated and nastily told Gary that he needed to put Leah to bed. Gary said, "She's playing. Just let her chill out for a while." and Amber snapped, "What does she need to chill for?! She's a baby!" (Quotes paraphrased, but that was the gist of it)

It was hilarious/sad to see the look on NuMatt's face as it started to sink in what a hosebeast his baby mama is. If he's smart (which is questionable), when Amber goes off the deep end after the baby is born he will quietly pack the kid up and take him to CA, leaving Amber to either take legal action to get the baby back/be in his life or fuck off out of their lives for good. Once he establishes custody/residence in CA, he can hit her up for child support. The chances of Amber waging an interstate custody battle are approximately nil. She hasn't done shit to get more time with Leah, who can toilet herself and lives 30 minutes away.

[GreatKazu]

The best of the worst of Amber...this was on the Amber thread. This is just part 1. There are more. This will give a quick and precise look into how life will be for Malibu James. Poor Leah. Amber demanding that Gary smack Leah is the worst! Oh, and the 2:20 mark is where you can see how Amber was lacking in the housekeeping department. Warning!

Edited February 18, 2018 by GreatKazu

[StatisticalOutlier]

On 2/17/2018 at 12:47 AM, Meatball said:

Quote

As much as I snark on Tyler and Cate, for two people who came from incredibly dysfunctional backgrounds, I give them credit for creating a much better life for their child. Now they still have a dysfunctional household but it is no where near what Amber’s kids seem to be living with. They seem to be trying to make it the best they can even though they don’t seem to have been raised to be healthy, functional adults.

MTV dropped a shitload of money into their laps which is how they have created a life for their child to offer up a piece of shit to guests. Tyler and Catelynn didn’t do anything except have dysfunctional, trashy sex which resulted in them winning the lottery. The two of them have done NOTHING to better themselves in the years since their 16 & Pregnant episode. They accepted thousands of dollars from people who thought they were serious about attending college for “social working” but unfortunately they (C&T) were too fucking stupid to even understand what major they wanted. They barely graduated from high school and were too stupid for college. Yes, that’s right, they were too fucking stupid to get through a community college/continuing education program.

THEY did nothing for their child. MTV did it all.

I call it the lottery of life.  The governor of Texas is in a wheelchair because a tree fell on him when he was jogging, right after he got out of law school.  He was unemployed and didn't have health insurance.  However, he was jogging in the wealthiest neighborhood in Houston, and sued the homeowner whose tree fell on him, along with the tree company that had inspected the tree.  He settled, and so far the insurance companies have paid him about $6,000,000, and will receive monthly payments for the rest of his life. 

There would have been a very different outcome if he'd been jogging in a poor neighborhood, or if the homeowner hadn't paid to have tree inspections done (so there was an additional party to sue).  That's the lottery of life. Bad things happen to everybody, but they can happen in ways that the outcome is better for some than others. 

Cate and Tyler did the same thing many teenagers do, and had an unlucky result (pregnancy), but managed to be in a situation where money became available to them because of it.  They were jogging in the rich neighborhood. 

I think they have done things to better themselves.  By giving up Carly in the first place, they were making her life, and theirs, better.  They had another baby, which they think will make them happy.  Personally, I'm not thrilled with that decision, but millions of people do it for the same reason, many of whom have far fewer resources than C&T.  Tyler's sister, for example.

I still can't stand them, and I really hate their families.  I don't think C&T are of notably low intelligence, but I do think it works against them that they're not geniuses because they're having to use intellect to figure out how to become healthy, functional adults.  And considering how they were raised, that's an enormous amount of figuring out to do, at a time when being a social media star is considered by their peers to be the best job out there.

Their lives are a mess, but if MTV money has kept them from being like Tyler's sister's, maybe the end justifies the means.

[Spencer Hastings]

I hate anybody who makes me feel sorry for Tyler.   He reminded me so much of my emotional disorder students while he was practically running through that house.  He talks a big game but he looked so much like a scared little boy when he was saying he had to get away from the chaos. He was absolutely on the brink of a PTSD flashback being back amongst those people and living conditions. 

[salvame]

20 hours ago, TheRealT said:

At least the TM OG camera crew are people in the house to keep a watch over the situation.

Yeah, watch (and film) is about all they do. We got to watch as Amber abused Gary. We got to watch as Leah was falling asleep holding a baby. We got to watch as Jenelle and Keefer shot up in the bathroom. At what point does it become MTVs responsibility to step in to protect the children, calling in professionals or law enforcement when necessary? 

[Rebecca]

On 2/16/2018 at 2:26 PM, ghoulina said:

I think the enabler position is harder when there are innocent kids involved. I get that the more you do for the addict, the less likely they are to get their shit together....but Amber's kids didn't ask for that life. I'd have a hard time not helping them. It's definitely a tough position to be in. 

I don’t see why they can’t help the kids. Tyler could’ve brought them to his mother’s house himself, if nothing else, so they didn’t have to ride with their mom who “may” have been under the influence. Then again, they apparently left Nova with Amber in what? November, so I guess they find her and her home to be fit...

On 2/17/2018 at 2:47 AM, Meatball said:

MTV dropped a shitload of money into their laps which is how they have created a life for their child to offer up a piece of shit to guests. Tyler and Catelynn didn’t do anything except have dysfunctional, trashy sex which resulted in them winning the lottery. The two of them have done NOTHING to better themselves in the years since their 16 & Pregnant episode. They accepted thousands of dollars from people who thought they were serious about attending college for “social working” but unfortunately they (C&T) were too fucking stupid to even understand what major they wanted. They barely graduated from high school and were too stupid for college. Yes, that’s right, they were too fucking stupid to get through a community college/continuing education program.

THEY did nothing for their child. MTV did it all. 

I couldn’t agree more. These two made me go all crazy Tyra - “I was rooting for you, we were all rooting for you!!” But that ship sailed a long, long time ago. Yeah, they could do worse but they could do so much better. It’s like Catelynn getting Ds in school, yeah you technically graduated and “passed” but it’s still complete shit and little effort was put in. That’s how they live life.

Edited February 19, 2018 by Rebecca

[WhosThatGirl]

11 minutes ago, Rebecca said:

I don’t see why they can’t help the kids. Tyler could’ve brought them to his mother’s house himself, if nothing else, so they didn’t have to ride with their mom who “may” have been under the influence. Then again, they apparently left Nova with Amber in what? November, so I guess they find her and her home to be fit...

I couldn’t agree more. These two made me go all crazy Tyra - “I was rooting for you, we were all rooting for you!!” But that ship sailed a long, long time ago. Yeah, they could do worse but they could do so much better. It’s like Catelynn getting Ds in school, yeah you technically graduated and “passed” but it’s still complete shit and little effort was put in. That’s how they live life.

Yup. Tyler and Cate, while I feel for them at times, I’ve said it many times over on different episodes of this forum- they could do better. Also when they first appeared on our tv screens, the narrative was missing pieces. I remember Cate talking about how school was tough because she was moving around all the time and then the season where she and Tyler were seniors, she couldn’t graduate early with him because she was barley passing. And yeah they made a big deal about college and wanting to attend but they didn’t do anything about that.

I mean.. I know Maci  has gone back and stopped and then gone again and then stopped(although I can’t say many things about that, I have gone, stopped, etc but mine is due to a medical disability so yeah but I try to refrain on speaking bad about her doing so) and even Farrah completed some degree of college, right? Cate and Tyler never even attempted, despite all their talk!

[MargeGunderson]

No matter how much money Cate and Tyler have, they will never be more than they are now (have been since high school). It’s sad that there’s something endemic about their lack of will/drive/ambition. You want to think that money can solve the problem but it clearly runs much deeper than that.

[Chickabiddy]

The proof will be in the pudding of how far C and T have come when the MTV Gravy Train comes crashing to a halt. Not everybody is 4-year college material, and that is ok. But neither of these two knuckle heads has even bothered getting an AS degree or some kind of certificate for a marketable skill. Community colleges usually work pretty hard to guide students through the academic process and give them all the academic and emotional support they can. Tuition is like 100 bucks a credit hour.  It's a hell of a lot cheaper than designer rehab - that Ty's mother was so excited for him to go do.

How is the undynamic duo going to function when they have to get themselves up at 5 am and the kids off to school/daycare before hustling over to some minimum wage job, and then get home at the end of the day to make dinner and supervise homework while doing laundry before collapsing into bed at 11 pm to only get up and start all over at 6 am? If TY thinks he is tired now, holy hell, is he in for a rude awakening. Welcome to the grind of daily existence for 95% of the population.  And I can imagine that Butch, April and Kim will beat a swift retreat from their lives once the MTV cameras get packed up and the cash dries up.  I could see those two ending  up living like Tyler's sister - maybe without the drugs and in a bigger house,, but still living in a ramshackle pigsty with kids walking on the counters and handing out dog poop party favors. God help them when the six figure salaries for four weeks of work end. 

Same goes for Amber and Maci. Having the grind of daily responsibility on top of kids is HARD WORK. Now, I may think Farrah is a psycho prima donna who is in for her own shock when she is no longer catered to like a "star" by her MTV crew of sycophants, but at least she has enough hustle to keep food on the table and both her and Sophia in falsies, hair extensions, dye jobs, surgeries and cheap makeup.  

Edited February 19, 2018 by Chickabiddy

[MargeGunderson]

Exactly, @Chickabiddy. There’s is so much all of them could do right now to set themselves up for success when the gravy train runs out. Only Gary, Chelsea, and Farrah seem to be doing that. (Maybe Kail, but she should have a backup for her social media/television host route.)

[GreatKazu]

MTV has definitely not hindered C&T from ending up like their parents and siblings. All it has done has allowed them to be April & Butch with MONEY, and their ability to keep their utilities from being turned off. These two can't even pay their property taxes. 

When this show is over (hopefully soon), Cate will likely relapse. Tyler and her won't last. If they do remain together, it is only due out of guilt and manipulation on Cate's part. 

[MyPeopleAreNordic]

On 2/17/2018 at 3:10 PM, Caracoa1 said:

What is Kim's story? (Tyler's mom).  Was she actually married to Butch?  And...didn't Amber (Tyler's sister) give some big fking speech at the wedding about what a deadbeat their Dad was?

She did.  She made her whole toast/speech at Cate & Tyler's wedding about what a POS Butch was when they were kids instead of about Cate & Tyler's relationship.  It was weird and kind of gross that she took a day where everyone was supposed to celebrate C&T and made it about how much of a sh*t human Butch is (even weirder, since basically everyone at the wedding was familiar with Butch's problems, including MTV viewers). I got the impression she loved having the platform to publicly shame Butch in front of the wedding guests & on national TV. 

I remember thinking how hard it had to be for Butch to maintain his sobriety when everyone around him seemed to LOVE reminding him and publicly reminding everyone else off all the awful stuff he'd done over the years.  I watched Amber's speech thinking that if I was Butch, I'd sure as hell be itching for a fix after that. I'd probably have thought "If everyone is always going to continually shame me for being a junkie POS, then I guess I should just go ahead and be a junkie POS anyways since that's all they'll ever see me as." Don't get me wrong, Butch was a junkie POS and there's plenty he should be ashamed of. I just don't think it's conducive to anyone's sobriety to keep harping on it forever. I hate that she made me feel bad for Butch and for C&T (as it was taking away from the speech that should have been about their life together at their wedding).  She was speaking the truth, but it wasn't the time or place and Tyler (and family) seem to have spoken that truth to him plenty of times before. (I say all of this as a child of an addict who didn't get sober until well into my adulthood. Say your piece to the addict, but if you are going to have them in your lives when they're sober, don't try to punish them forever with the constant shame of their past actions.) 

Seems to me like Amber's kids may be the ones punishing her one day by reminding her of all the crappy situations her addiction put them in.... I bet she won't like being on the other end.

/rant over

Edited February 19, 2018 by MyPeopleAreNordic

[Rebecca]

Catelynn will end up in housing on government assistance (she has zero skills or ambition) and Tyler will end up... with some dude. There, I said it. But, first, I think they’ll make the reality show “circuit” as much as possible. Then, when literally no one cares anymore (1-2 years after TM ends) and no one is calling, Tyler will split.

Edited February 19, 2018 by Rebecca

[GreatKazu]

@MyPeopleAreNordic

I think Butch did say at one time or at least hinted at it how it was pointless of him being sober since he was a major fuck up and what a struggle it was to stay clean.

AMEN to your entire post.

How would Amber B. have felt to have Tyler rambling on in the last episode what a major fuck up she is right now to her kids? The cycle is repeating itself with the next generation. 

I will admit, I did shed a bit of sympathy for Butch when he was talking about how he was abused growing up and all that he endured as a child. I know he was an abuser to April, that shit I cannot forget. I just think about how physical abuse and mental abuse affected Butch. I imagine he grew up in a home with a fucking douchebag dad like UBT or worse. We watch how UBT calls out Kaiser and Jace as being little faggots and how he makes them feel like utter shit for wearing clothes that UBT deems is unmanly. We have sympathy for those children because we know that shit can really do a number on them and it can affect how they treat people later on in life. 

Kicking an addiction is a bitch. I can't fathom the struggle it must be. Once I had to lay into an addict about the hurt they caused. I did it, and I never brought it up again. Their journey to sobriety didn't need constant reminders of their past, especially since they were working on making a change. 

Edited February 19, 2018 by GreatKazu