S01.E01: From Felon to Fiancé

[Drogo]

Johnna plans wedding after Garrett’s prison release, despite her dad’s doubts. Andrea has a meltdown at her Mormon bridal shower! James’ friend fears Alla’s addiction past. Scott falls for hustler, Lizzie.

[Drogo]

This is an episode thread for discussion of the episode.  If you read something online about the couples or want to post something from their social media, don't do it here- visit any one of the couples' threads.

[lasandi]

After watching the first episode, I have to see how this all plays out.  I need you all in here!  Lol

[Guatemama3641]

I'm watching later today. I'm so excited for this show.

[ElderPrice]

Do people, even in Utah, really say "I always wanted a black friend"? 

[HeHe]

1 hour ago, ElderPrice said:

Do people, even in Utah, really say "I always wanted a black friend"? 

Sheltered white Mormon women who have never been around black people before, sure.  

 

Anyways it is pretty clear so far that Johnna/Garrett (more specifically Johnna) are going to be the trainwreck stars of the show. She is very insecure and just lusting after him versus actually loving him, and Garrett is clearly just interested in using her for a place to stay and [what he thinks is] an easy sex opportunity right out of the slammer.  

Edited January 13, 2018 by HeHe

[hoosiermom]

Well, I’m in for now but not sure what to think yet. Did love the “I always wanted a black friend” comment. She sure has no filters.

[TeenMomAngerMgmt]

Finally watching this episode. Unlike “Prison Wives” back in the day where there was only one person who actually got out of prison, in this show everybody has the opportunity to see this shit play out in the real world. 

 

Also? Worst. Bridal Shower. EVER! 

[DropTheSoap]

The sheltered white naïve Mormon woman (straight out of central casting) who said she always wanted a black friend cinched this for me. Gotta see the next ep. 

Johnna wants the “traditional experience”, with pre-marital sex. Garrett wants sex with somewho doesn’t have a penis. 

Forgot his name but the ex-marine has crazy eyes. I wonder if his intended can cross state lines. I also wonder how soon she returns to heroin and sells off the contents of his house. 

Edited January 14, 2018 by DropTheSoap

[hoosiermom]

2 minutes ago, DropTheSoap said:

 

Johnna wants the “traditional experience”, with pre-marital sex. Garrett wants sex with somewho doesn’t have a penis. 

Thanks for the belly laugh! Good one.

[TeenMomAngerMgmt]

3 hours ago, DropTheSoap said:

The sheltered white naïve Mormon woman (straight out of central casting) who said she always wanted a black friend cinched this for me. Gotta see the next ep. 

Johnna wants the “traditional experience”, with pre-marital sex. Garrett wants sex with somewho doesn’t have a penis. 

Forgot his name but the ex-marine has crazy eyes. I wonder if his intended can cross state lines. I also wonder how soon she returns to heroin and sells off the contents of his house. 

I thought James had the crazy eyes, too. And the other lady who went to jail for bribery and DUI just makes me think of the Joanne the Scammer sketches. She’s gonna drive away with all that dude’s stuff while laughing in scammer. 

[KariLois]

This show is the best thing that has ever happened to me.  Obviously the black friend line was great, but my soul was stolen when Andrea was picking out her outfit to see her man and offhandedly commented (as one does) that she mustn’t wear red as her intended is a Crip.  I nearly died.

[TeenMomAngerMgmt]

I have so many questions for Andrea. How/why is she a Mormon? Black people were not allowed to be full fledged members of the Mormon church until, like, the 1980s because their prophets were so racist. It’s better now, I’m sure, but that makes me side eye the fuck out of her. 

 

How/why have you not slapped the taste of your “friend”’s mouth when she made the “black friend” comment? 

 

Why did you think you could be slick with your friends and family about how you met this man? 

 

I have so many questions, y’all! 

[CofCinci]

23 hours ago, ElderPrice said:

Do people, even in Utah, really say "I always wanted a black friend"? 

At first, I thought that maybe the Producers set her up with a question like “Do you have many Black friends?” but after watching her at the bridal shower it’s clear she speaks first and thinks later. 

[FairyPrincess]

I am so in for this season of foolery!  It’s so great that we are starting right when they are getting out of prison. We’re jumping right into the mess and I love it.

[MakingBacon]

As a black woman, I just would not waste my time on someone who was so excited to have a black friend. What stereotype did she have of what having a black friend entails? Sadly, I probably would not meet their criteria. That being said, I just could not be understanding of my friend marrying a man who spent 18 years in prison and whom she is going to marry upon release. Is no one concerned about her bringing this man into her home with three children living there? If she needs two jobs to take care of her kids, how is she going to buy a car for her man? She joked about not wearing the wrong gang colors but I think she may get a rush out of dating a bad boy.  I would also guess it is hard to be a black, Mormon woman in Utah looking for a black man, even if they aren’t a Morman one. 

As to the one whose Dad is against the relationship, why did her special bedspread look like something I had when I was 12 and was in a Barbie and the Rockers phase?

[GoddessofFolly]

I was confused about Andrea's bridal shower.  Supposedly, she's been "dating" Lamar for 6 years and she owes these women the truth, because they've stuck by her for years, yet the first time they heard ANYTHING about her fiancé is at the bridal shower.  I'm guessing they're really just women she knows from temple, but it was a strange set-up.  When she was describing AJ as having a good heart, but offending people, I suspected AJ was just a bitch.  Then when she defended her mean comments as naive, I thought, "Yup, she's just a bitch."

I'm actually optimistic for Crazy Eyes James and Alla.  I don't really think it'll work, but I don't see it ending in a flaming clusterfuck like Scott and Lizzie.  I actually felt sorry for Scott.  He seems like just a lonely guy, who got taken by a grifter.

Speaking of flaming clusterfucks...I have to agree with Johnna's father about her making bad choices.  I really hope she won't be stupid enough to take out loans for Garrett, cosign anything, or put his name on the house she bought.  Unfortunately, in addition to having the emotional age of a middle schooler, she doesn't seem to be the sharpest knife in the drawer.  This will not end well.

[dorcastrilling]

On 1/13/2018 at 11:21 PM, KariLois said:

This show is the best thing that has ever happened to me.  Obviously the black friend line was great, but my soul was stolen when Andrea was picking out her outfit to see her man and offhandedly commented (as one does) that she mustn’t wear red as her intended is a Crip.  I nearly died.

Love every word.

 

I am so in for this. In my defense, I did not but a lot of time, money, and effort into a Behavioral Health/Crim double major to pass a front row seat to the crazy on by.

[DropTheSoap]

18 hours ago, MakingBacon said:

As a black woman, I just would not waste my time on someone who was so excited to have a black friend. What stereotype did she have of what having a black friend entails?

As a white woman, ditto. Not sure what she was hoping to check off the boxes on, in terms of a token friend.

 

18 hours ago, MakingBacon said:

Is no one concerned about her bringing this man into her home with three children living there? If she needs two jobs to take care of her kids, how is she going to buy a car for her man?

Yes, a thousand times yes. I get that she's wanting someone in her life, but she's responsible for three lives now. That's where her efforts and her money should go.  And I sure as h*ll wouldn't move any strange adult into a house with young children. Nuh uh! No way!

Can he even go to Utah? He's in CA now. Wouldn't parole keep him from crossing state lines?

[hookedontv]

Holy hell, what did I just watch? Are these people for real? Please tell me these are actors reading a script. 

That said, I'm all in! Bring on the next episode of crazy! 

[eatsleep]

Garrett is kind of cute. Was he serving time in Louisianna? He sounds Cajun. Am I the  only one who got the impression Lizzy might have a few kids?

[lezlers]

On ‎1‎/‎13‎/‎2018 at 8:13 AM, ElderPrice said:

Do people, even in Utah, really say "I always wanted a black friend"? 

That part made me howl with laughter.  Not even what she said, but how she said it.  Like it was a perfectly normal, mundane thing to say.  I think that girl might be my favorite.  So woefully lacking in self awareness.

I'm OBSESSED with this show.  Johnna is completely nuts.  She needs to find herself a nice man serving a life sentence so she can always know where he is 24/7.  I can't imagine why her other relationships haven't worked out!

And Andrea, whooo boy.  "People tell me I'm bringing a violent felon in my home with my kids, but they don't know Lamar like I do!"   Andrea, you ARE bringing a violent felon into your home.  You don't get 18 years in prison for shoplifting.  And if you're concerned about wearing specific shoes because of your man's gang affiliation, you probably don't want to bring him around your kids. 

[cooksdelight]

Oh Johnna, you are in for a big surprise once he gets home with you. He ain’t going to want to stick by your side 24/7. Her insecurity will kill their relationship. I have a hard time calling it a relationship.

Andrea, I’m scared for her. And her kids. Why does Andrea wear bedroom slippers everywhere?

James is naive as hell, and on the rebound from his ex. 

Edited January 21, 2018 by cooksdelight

[candall]

Big improvement in the prison inmate matrimonial genre since "Prison Wives."  Poor Johnna, designated dumb bunny.  Poor lonely trucker dude, snared by some hot inmate pics.  (How did that even happen, anyway?)

 

Strangely, I'm holding out hope for Alla & The Marine.  Surely the producers will make certain there's one success story out of this series of trainwrecks.  (Although it seems Mr. Love Conquers All has never seen an episode of Intervention.

[MakingBacon]

I don’t understand why Andrea keeps saying Lamar needs to be there to be the father of her kids. Who wants a guy straight out of prison to be the father of their kids? Also, just because you bring a man into the home doesn’t make him daddy and being male doesn’t automatically make him daddy material. I was distracted but was she really upset that her daughter was unhappy with the Lamar situation? Please tell me she wasn’t mad her daughter wasn’t excited by the idea of having a new, felon daddy? What scares me is that she isn’t worried about bringing this strange man into her home. What happens if he does something and the kids tell her? Will she believe them or give him the benefit of the doubt?  

Joanna is an idiot. The guy doesn’t want to be a homebody husband and seems to just be looking for sex/someone to take care of him. She lived in the fantasy when he was in prison and it never occurred to her he wouldn’t live up to that fantasy. 

Alla rubs me the wrong way and I can’t figure out why. Anyone else think the story that her parents paid for her apartment for 5 years was weird? What idiots do that? I felt like this was her apartment after she got out of prison and they had to make it seem like she had it for years to explain why it was so lived in. 

[cooksdelight]

Alla gave her parents her modelling money to pay for her apt while she was in prison. She must have made a lot of money, which she also stupidly spent on drugs with undercover cops in her car.

[glitterpussy]

On 1/20/2018 at 5:10 PM, lezlers said:

And Andrea, whooo boy.  "People tell me I'm bringing a violent felon in my home with my kids, but they don't know Lamar like I do!"   Andrea, you ARE bringing a violent felon into your home.  You don't get 18 years in prison for shoplifting.  And if you're concerned about wearing specific shoes because of your man's gang affiliation, you probably don't want to bring him around your kids. 

ooooh, I can't wear red because he's a Crip--teeheehee!!! Girl, what? This is who you want to be "daddy" to your KIDS? She acts like a silly teenager.

Guaranteed that if he does something to those poor children, she takes HIS side. Her story is one I'm not looking forward to because there are kids in real danger-much like a bunch of the Teen Moms I had to quit watching.

The rest of them though--pure gold. I can't wait.

[TresGatos]

All this talk of Prison Wives makes me think of the dud who installed a toilet in his bedroom so he could experience what his beloved was experiencing and who had a mannequin dressed in a wedding dress in the living room. I wonder how that worked out?

[candall]

10 hours ago, TresGatos said:

All this talk of Prison Wives makes me think of the dud who installed a toilet in his bedroom so he could experience what his beloved was experiencing and who had a mannequin dressed in a wedding dress in the living room. I wonder how that worked out?

LOL.  I worked the "Prison Wives" thread hard, even posted the episodes.  But I can't remember one thing about those ladies except that one woman just kept telling everyone her husband was "out of town."  Oh, and the extensive footage of the outside of the conjugal trailer.

It was just such a bizarre glimpse into a tiny little niche sliver of society, like the doomsday preppers and the sister-wives.  Who knew?

Starting the relationship stories at or near the point of release was a good move.  These knuckleheads are highly entertaining.

[lasandi]

Oops. Wrong episode.

Edited January 28, 2018 by lasandi

[Thrifty]

I found out about this show through another forum I frequent, on a site about prison pen pals.  So I watched the 5 episodes that were available and I liked them.  Since this is just about the first episode, I'll try to stay general.

 

I think James and Alla have a good chance.  They seem mature.  They have conflicts, but they don't seem to let them escalate.

Johnna is missing an 'a' from her name and is immature, controlling, and so desperate for this fairy tale idea of marriage that she'll just take what she can get.  The relationship worked while Garrett was in prison because his confinement meshed well with her control freak tendencies.  Now that he's out and about and she can't be assured of his whereabouts, it is driving him crazy.  Garrett has a lot of flaws too, and this relationship will never work.

Andrea is pretty horrible.  Controlling, distrustful, jealous, and paranoid.  She gets threatened by any woman who comes near her man, as evidenced by her reaction to the perfectly innocent car wash attendant talking to Lamar.

I feel really sorry for Scott.  It is so obvious that he is being swindled by a gold digger, and she has her hooks in him deep.  It's especially mind boggling because she admitted she is swindling other men.  But Scott thinks he is above that and he is her one true love (as I'm sure all the other men do too).

[the-grey-lady]

I can see my initial impulse - not to get into this show - was correct. I am now obsessed.

Everyone has throughly covered, "I always wanted a black friend!" like Andrea's "friend" was looking to try Indian food for the first time, but what about, "He's not Mormon and he's in prison; I'm not sure which is worse!"?

[RealReality]

On 12/6/2020 at 2:25 PM, the-grey-lady said:

I can see my initial impulse - not to get into this show - was correct. I am now obsessed.

Everyone has throughly covered, "I always wanted a black friend!" like Andrea's "friend" was looking to try Indian food for the first time, but what about, "He's not Mormon and he's in prison; I'm not sure which is worse!"?

welcome to the rabbit hole, see you at the bottom!

[AZChristian]

7 hours ago, RealReality said:

welcome to the rabbit hole, see you at the bottom!

Wait . . . there's a bottom?????