S01.E01: Royal Masquerade Begins

[Rhondinella]

I can't seem to find an official title, so we'll go with "Premiere" for now.  I'll change later if necessary.

 

Description:

 

Reality meets romance, with a little twist, in the surprising dating show I WANNA MARRY “HARRY,” premiering Tuesday, May 27 (8:00-9:00 PM ET/PT). Summer love is in the air, as an average English “bloke” is given the royal treatment and an upper crust makeover before meeting 12 single American women searching for Prince Charming. Will he be able to convince them he's regal? And if he does, will they fall for the crown, or fall in love with the real him? Join “Harry” as he courts each of the ladies, taking them on romantic dates worthy of a princess and trying to make some version of their fairytales come true.

 

 

[90PercentGravity]

This is disgusting, and if he has sex with anyone it is rape by deception and FOX should be prosecuted.

[BusyOctober]

Why is this a show??? HOW is this a show???  It's got to be 100% scripted, right?  The premise is so ridiculous it can't be anything but a fake "reality show".  I can't see how they could get 12 or 20 participants to play along unless they knew upfront this is all a sham.  There can't  really be women out there soooo stupid to think that Prince Harry - 4th in line for the crown of England, most eligible bachelor in the world etc etc - needs to "search" for a wife from a pool of American skanks?

 

The Joe Millionaire premise worked (using the term loosely) b/c "Joe" was an unknown and they told the women he was from some famous family. I can see how they  could have been duped because that guy's face wasn't ever on People or various tabloids. 

 

If these women truly believe they are vying for Prince Harry's love, they deserve to be embarrassed on TV for their stupidity/fame whoring/gold digging.

[Kromm]

Why is this a show??? HOW is this a show???  It's got to be 100% scripted, right?  The premise is so ridiculous it can't be anything but a fake "reality show".  I can't see how they could get 12 or 20 participants to play along unless they knew upfront this is all a sham.  There can't  really be women out there soooo stupid to think that Prince Harry - 4th in line for the crown of England, most eligible bachelor in the world etc etc - needs to "search" for a wife from a pool of American skanks?

 

The Joe Millionaire premise worked (using the term loosely) b/c "Joe" was an unknown and they told the women he was from some famous family. I can see how they  could have been duped because that guy's face wasn't ever on People or various tabloids. 

 

If these women truly believe they are vying for Prince Harry's love, they deserve to be embarrassed on TV for their stupidity/fame whoring/gold digging.

Wait.  I assumed from the blurb it would be more like some fictional cousin, a lord of some type, also named Harry, so they can take advantage of the pun attached to the rhyming phrase "I want to marry Harry".  But damnit.  They're actually using a Prince Harry lookalike and constructing a whole bunch of fakery to impersonate a REAL person?

 

Shame on you Fox.  Even for you this is low.

[Rhondinella]

My husband walked in the room while I was watching this, with headphones so he couldn't hear it, and asked me what it was.  I told him I was too embarrassed to tell him because he would judge me.  

 

Hubby: "Well, you know, I could look it up, so you might as well just tell me"

Me: "It's a dating show that tries to convince women they are competing to marry Prince Harry."

Hubby: "Judging!  So much judging going on over here!"

 

What's the possibility the pre-school teacher will keep her job after showing her underwear on national TV?

 

So is the plan to never actually tell the girls it is Prince Harry?  Just to let them infer that?  That's not what I expected.

 

Finally, this ombre hair fad needs to die!  Like, yesterday.  

[CeeBeeGee]

They HAVE to be faking their cluelessness. Yes, even without the mask the guy does look amazingly like Harry but even the most unaware MUST know Harry would never go through something like this.  Even It's a Royal Knockout was just a one-off, not a series!

[Sarah D. Bunting]

My thoughts on the episode (and an Emmy for Meghan).

[Kromm]

even without the mask the guy does look amazingly like Harry but even the most unaware MUST know Harry would never go through something like this.!

To be fair, Harry IS the one with a history of strategically bad vacations in America (Vegas, and more recently Miami), which were basically excuses to meet girls.

 

Mind you, not to MARRY them, but just bang them.  Then again, maybe some fools might think he's come around.

My thoughts on the episode (and an Emmy for Meghan).

This screencap is hilarious (and damnit, just seeing it now I'm gonna have to watch this instead of ignoring it).

 

Edited May 21, 2014 by Kromm

[Rhondinella]

@Sarah D. Bunting--Brilliant! I expelled liquid through my nose at this part:

 

"Owns 3+ hair-curling apparati Y/N"?

 

[Lisin]

@Rhondinella I just read an interview with "Harry" and I can't remember where now but it seemed from the interview that the show didn't actually tell the girls he was Prince Harry, they just let them believe that and "Harry" acted as Prince Harry, like he answered questions as Harry would and all that, but he doesn't come out and say "I am Prince Harry" so yay? 

 

I am honestly baffled that these women actually think the real Prince fucking Harry would go on a reality dating show. I mean really? I am so all in for this btw. I wasn't planning on watching it but I watched the pilot with my husband and we couldn't stop laughing so I guess I'll keep it up. 

[Rhondinella]

Yeah, I'm just curious what fake show name the producers gave to these girls to get them to come on it.  I mean, obviously they couldn't tell them the real name.  Maybe it was just 'You get to date a rich guy!'  For most of these airheads that would be more than enough incentive.

[ramble]

I'm trying so hard to not watch this. I know I watch trash but I'm supposed to have a line. Argh! @Sarah D. Bunting your synopsis of the episode is tempting me to the dark side. I can't help but enjoy watching stupid & these chicks, fakers or not, think they're in competition for a royal mate. Holy lack of brain power.

[Rhondinella]

I was watching this live without DVR and PEOPLE in my house insisted on nattering on in the background during this highly important show, so I missed the explanation, if there was one, about what the benefits of the "Crown Suite" are.  At first I thought it was like fantasy suite, but surely even this show wouldn't expect them to bang a guy they met just 3 hours before (although I'm guessing some wouldn't have a problem with that whether he is a prince or not).

 

If it's not an overnight kinda thing, then I don't get what it is.

[90PercentGravity]

I'm not watching this, because I think it is disgusting. But I would love if it turns out to be a reverse Joe Schmo thing and the "Harry" guy is the only one not in on it.

[Kromm]

I'm not watching this, because I think it is disgusting. But I would love if it turns out to be a reverse Joe Schmo thing and the "Harry" guy is the only one not in on it.

I'd love that too--although maybe to avoid confusion we should say that's a normal Joe Schmo thing, not a reverse! (since what it's the reverse of is The Bachelor, with a practical joke added).

Edited May 21, 2014 by Kromm

[90PercentGravity]

You are right, that would be a regular Schmoe. The way it is set up now is actually a reverse Schmoe.

[backformore]

I am embarassed that I watched this show.  But I can't look away from these rather average women thinking that they are meeting royalty.  These women were SOOO impressed with tacky dresses and fake manners.  Though I hate the concept - tricking women into thinking an actual PRINCE would like them, when they're not all that - Part of me thinks these shrieky, gold-digging harpies deserve to be fooled. 

 

I do think shows like The Bachelor are an interesting social experiment, and this show is about the same.  TB takes a fairly average guy and, just by the fact that other women are competing, makes women convince themselves that  he is wonderful, and they in are "in love"   The fantasy - that he's arranging dates, taking them on adventures, being romantic - is all set up, and they get swept away and ready to marry a guy who is still dating other women, because it's all about WINNING.   

 

"Harry"  isn't much different, especially if the guy is actually looking for a relationship. the difference is that he's not giving any info about himself, so the womens' fantasies run wild.

 

It's really the same as Joe Millionnaire from many years ago -  it will end with a woman (or a few women)  saying they LOOOVE him, and would feel the same way no matter if he was rich or poor, royal or average.  And then they have to prove it.

[CeeBeeGee]

Though I hate the concept - tricking women into thinking an actual PRINCE would like them, when they're not all that - Part of me thinks these shrieky, gold-digging harpies deserve to be fooled. 

 

Did you really see them that way?  They seemed harmless and well-meaning for the most part.  One girl mentioned she wanted a rich BF (which, yes, gross) but the others just seemed to be enjoying the fantasy.  Sure, one girl drank a few cocktails but the talk about that seemed to be more about stoking drama than actual drama.  And frankly, although I liked the Faux Harry, I thought his constant remarks about how loud the American girls were were obnoxious.  Dude, fake accent aside, you're not exactly posh yourself.  I've been to a few English pubs--indoor voices is not some kind of cultural identifier.

[Puffaroo]

They HAVE to be faking their cluelessness. Yes, even without the mask the guy does look amazingly like Harry but even the most unaware MUST know Harry would never go through something like this.  Even It's a Royal Knockout was just a one-off, not a series!

 

You're assuming that all of them are intelligent, when clearly they're not.  There were one or two that demonstrated some brain capacity, but basically they're all children -- they poked fun at the oldest for being 25.  I have CLOTHES older than that.

 

And except for possibly one, they all think they're freakin' hot.  I thought that, except for variations in skin and hair color, they were mostly cookie-cutter interchangeable, like Miss American contestants, except for the one with the enormous red lips.

Though I hate the concept - tricking women into thinking an actual PRINCE would like them, when they're not all that - Part of me thinks these shrieky, gold-digging harpies deserve to be fooled.

 

SO much this. 

 

I wonder if each harpy is told the truth as she exits the show.

Edited May 21, 2014 by Puffaroo

[LakeGal]

Oh I found this show hilarious.  I love it.  I did love Joe Millionaire for the snark-worthy fun.  This is just the same but amped up a bit.

 

The females want to believe it is Prince Harry.  So they are convincing themselves he is.  They don't have access to a photo of the real Harry to compare this guy to.  He deflects any questions that could give it away.  He acts mysterious and they get drunk and want to be picked ahead of the other gals.   

[FineWashables]

This is two shows in one: it's a reality show where women are actually stupid enough to believe that world's most eligible prince needs to go on a TV show to find himself a wife.  And at the same time, it's a show that gives us the scoop on how some people willfullly twist themselves into pretzels to distort reality until it fits their fantasies.  We're all in agreement that these women can't possibly believe underneath it all that this is Prince Harry on a reality dating show, but damn, they really really want to believe it.  They ignore common sense and gut instinct in order to believe that they too can be a real live princess.  Sarah D. Bunting, you are so right: this is how people make themselves into people who get catfished.

 

And on a less pedantic note: I loved Not Prince Harry learning to ride a horse and going straight into a tree.

[fishcakes]

I missed the explanation, if there was one, about what the benefits of the "Crown Suite" are.

 

I don't think there was one, except for the way it made me laugh when Rose got up on the bed on all fours and started oohing and aahing over how luxurious it was. Guess she's never seen a Bed in a Bag Set from Target before.

[BusyOctober]

OK, I wasn't going to watch this debacle, but after reading your comments here I felt compelled to ogle the train wreck.  Wow. Just wow.

 

The 12 "ladies" may not represent the majority of their generation (God help us, please tell me that's the case), so I'm sure TPTB looked for the most shallow and vapid girls possible. I'm just amazed at how many 20-somethings think (I just turned 40 BTW).  Their "Princess-ified" view of the world is incredible.  I guess it's an offshoot of the Snowflake generation. 

 

As girls, they are Pretty-Pretty Princesses from their 1st b-day up through their extravagant Sweet 16/Graduations/Wedding "events". They have all been told all their lives they are unique, special, prettier/smarter/more talented than any other snowflake in the drifts. It 's as if they think these attributes were bestowed at birth & they don't have to work for any of it or experience any failures along the way to achieve success. As a result, there doesn't seem to be one ounce of humility, self awareness, an ability to handle adversity or empathy in these dolts.  This isn't a blanket statement for the entire generation, I mean no offense to the 20+ yr olds who value their dignity, make education a priority, posses life skills and contribute to society beyond looking good in a bikini on TV.

 

And I'm not letting this young man off easy either.  If "Faux Harry" really wants to find a meaningful relationship, here's a tip for you: Don't start off by LYING to the girl before the first date.  Oh, and going on national TV - especially FOX!!! - looking for love hasn't turned out so great for many of the other fame whores who blazed the trail before you (see "The Bachelor/Bachelorette). 

 

I need to go take a Silkwood-style shower and volunteer a few hours at the Senior Center to work off my guilt over watching this.

[PityFree]

Ugh. I hate that perhaps some people outside the US are getting the impression that all American women are loud and trashy. *weep*

 

Also, the kindergarten teacher? When she said "I teach Kindergarten!" and then they showed her lifting her dress to show her panties to the other girls, I thought to myself, "Not for long!"

 

It's a stupid premise, but I like trash TV, so I'm all in. 

 

ETA: I was pretty impressed with Not Harry's shirtless chest - quite nice. 

I don't think there was one, except for the way it made me laugh when Rose got up on the bed on all fours and started oohing and aahing over how luxurious it was. Guess she's never seen a Bed in a Bag Set from Target before.

They said getting selected to stay in the Crown Suite was to get a chance to spend more time one-on-one with Not Harry. I assume the chosen girl and Not Harry might have access to a sitting room or something near the Crown Suite in which they get a chance to chat in relative peace and quiet. Maybe they'll show that in the second episode.

Edited May 21, 2014 by PityFree

[Rhondinella]

Premiere ratings:  2.1 million; 0.7 in the demo.  

 

The media's acting like this is a huge bomb, which, I mean, obviously it's not good, but shows have been kept on with worse ratings.  But, it's not like this show was going to have a second season anyway.  The question I guess is whether they'll pull it before it's finished or not.

[bosawks]

"I have to charm them and engage them and that's a lot of pressure."

 

Especially if one is neither charming or engaging.......

[FlyingEgret]

"I have to charm them and engage them and that's a lot of pressure."

Especially if one is neither charming or engaging.......

Are you actually saying that Prince Charming is not charming? I suggest you have another Cosmo - it may make you see Sir in a more flattering light. [snark] Edited May 22, 2014 by FlyingEgret

[bosawks]

 

I suggest you have another Cosmo - it may make you see Sir in a more flattering light. [snark]

 

I don't think my body has the capacity to process the amount of cocktails it would take to see anyone on this show in a more flattering light.

 

I really am fond of my liver all evidence to the contrary.

[Rhondinella]

Finally found an official(ish) title for the episode, so I've edited it.

 

I guess I didn't pick up on it while watching because, again, NATTERING in the background, but the butler dude apparently referred to him as "Henry, Prince of Wales"?!  Which, as the blogger I was just reading put it, probably came as news to Charles, the ACTUAL Prince of Wales, and William, presumably the NEXT Prince of Wales.  "Prince Henry of Wales" and "Henry, Prince of Wales" are not the same thing.

 

But, it's Fox so   . . . whatevs.  Like anyone associated with this show knows or cares about royal titles.

 

That, and the fact that his full last name is Mountbattan-Windsor.  I'm not sure they use the "Windsor" alone, but someone who knows more than I can correct me if I'm wrong.

[FineWashables]

Rhondinella, I once saw a made-for-TV-movie about how Diana and Charles were swept away with love for each other after she taught him to tapdance, and then got married in the love match of the ages.  Now that we've established the credibility level of that movie, there was a point where Charles is called "Wales" several times by his friends while sailing, and another point where his last name was given just as Windsor.  If it stars Catherine Oxenberg, it must be true.

 

So I remember a 32-year-old movie in perfect detail, yet still am unable to convert farenheit to celsius.  If I had a brain, I'd be dangerous.

Edited May 22, 2014 by FineWashables

[CeeBeeGee]

Wales is like...a surname of convenience. When the princes were in the military they were addressed as (for example) "Lt. Wales."

[JenE4]

Just a couple of weeks ago my friend and I were talking about the good old days of reality dating TV with shows like Joe Millionaire, Temptation Island, Paradise Hotel, and all of the VH-1 Of Love shows. OMG! My dreams have been answered! However, after watching this first episode, suddenly I'm feeling sorry for these girls who are being tricked. I guess a decade+ ago I thought if you're stupid enough to go on reality TV, you'll get what's coming to you, and now that reality TV has become normalized, it just seems cruel. But then by the time a 25-year-old was considered an "oldie," and they all went on and on about how hot they all are, and their damn annoying vocal frys, and the riduculous overacting about seeing a dress or a bed or a drink, etc., I thought these vapid b!tches are getting what's coming to them! And now I feel like a terrible person. Yet, I will continue not just watching this show, but putting it right at the top of my must-see list. (And for what it's worth, I didn't hear about this show before seeing it on the Home page here yesterday, so I watched it On Demand last night. So I wouldn't be surprised if ratings go up next week. I just told my forementioned friend about it, too.)

[Canada]

OMG, I knew this was going to be bad when one of the first voiceovers was one of the women saying "I think he might be British".  Ummm, you're in England..... you think?!!!????!?  What a bunch of morons.

[Rick Kitchen]

Windsor and Mountbatten-Windsor are used inconsistently.  The descendants of Charles are supposed to be Windsors, while everybody else in the family are supposed to be Mountbatten-Windsors, but it's never been handled in a standard manner.

[Rick Kitchen]

 

If it stars Catherine Oxenberg, it must be true.

Well, Catherine Oxenberg is, really, in line for the British Throne, though she's something like 3000th in line.

[Rhondinella]

OMG, I knew this was going to be bad when one of the first voiceovers was one of the women saying "I think he might be British".  Ummm, you're in England..... you think?!!!????!?  What a bunch of morons.

 

 

Plus I'm convinced the idiot who was all, "We're at Downton Abbey!" didn't come up with that on her own.  That HAD to be a producer feed, right?  Cause which of these women has actually watched Downton Abbey, or anything that's ever played on BBC or PBS?

[CeeBeeGee]

Rhondinella, I once saw a made-for-TV-movie about how Diana and Charles were swept away with love for each other after she taught him to tapdance, and then got married in the love match of the ages.  Now that we've established the credibility level of that movie, there was a point where Charles is called "Wales" several times by his friends while sailing, and another point where his last name was given just as Windsor.  If it stars Catherine Oxenberg, it must be true.

 

I remember that movie!  "A Royal Romance," I ate it up!  Catherine Oxenberg was so cute as Diana.  I remember the infamous Incident with the See-Through Skirt.  *Sigh* Charles and Diana, the fantasy was lovely while it lasted...for us if not for poor Diana.  I should've realized (thought I was just a kid) she was toast as soon as he said those fatal words "whatever 'in love' means."

[marketdoctor]

There's another explanation for why the women are going along with it:

Suppose you're 99% sure he's not the real prince, but if he's not--you still get a free trip to England, all expenses paid, possibly some nice gifts/see some things most people don't get to see, and national exposure if you want to have a modeling contract (because although some models are very bright, it's not a requirement), or even acting proof that you can ACT convicingly like you have a bad case of Lois Lane Syndrome...and all you have to do is not ask too many questions.

 

Add that to the 1% chance it's real* and you've got more women than you'd think going with it.  The show doesn't have to be convincing, just plausible.

 

With those ratings, the people who were being fooled most are the show's advertisers.  I'm surprisingly comfortable with that.  Though if the show lasts through Season Finale Season, its ratings might go up from less competition.

 

* People over-estimate probability of good things, and underestimate bad.

Edited May 23, 2014 by marketdoctor

[bosawks]

I don't find this dismissive of females as much as I find it dismissive of humanity.  I think it's an equal opportunity offender.

[aradia22]

This delighted me as soon as I saw the first ads. Not because I condone anything about it but because it made me weirdly nostalgic for the days of Joe Millionaire and The Swan. All these children whining about the decline of society. Shut up. Have you forgotten the long reign of Flavor of Love and Rock of Love that was only ended by them casting an actual criminal? I have to say, I'm tempted to watch it because of how incredibly stupid this concept is. It's one thing when the production deceives a group of women about the bachelor's financial status or everyone collectively pretends that Bret Michaels isn't gross. This is another level. It just makes me so nostalgic. Remember that awful show where those hangers-on with vague connections to Princess Di dangled some kind of low-level aristocratic title in front of the women. I think "princess" or "lady" was in the title.

[aradia22]

OK, so I actually watched the episode. It's weird. It doesn't feel quite like a dating show. With the announcer and music it almost feels more like Masterchef. And the butler and mystery make it feel more like Whodunnit. And then there's the fact that unlike most dating shows, the women don't seem at all interested in the guy. That said, these women all clearly know how to fall into reality TV mode.

Edited to add that I wish they would really play up the mystery thing. So if one of the girls guesses she is asked to leave, or maybe asked if she'll continue to play along with the deception, or given some kind of a prize. I don't know. I just feel like there's a way to make this more interesting. 

Edited May 25, 2014 by aradia22

[Rhondinella]

Well, pretty much anything would make it more interesting, since it's like watching paint dry right now.

[Toaster Strudel]

This show is an epic trolling, it reminds me of WB Superstars, the American Idol type show where they picked the worst singers and made them believe they were great, while dissing decent performances and kicking them out.

[atomationage]

I don't think they can ever actually say that this guy is The Harry.  If this show is actually being done in England, wouldn't that be fraud?  i don't think these women can possibly be stupid enough to believe it anyway.  I think they're just acting, or participating in a group hallucination.  I've got an idea for the finale.  Matt ends up in prison for impersonating a royal.  I like him a little, but not the part where he's deceiving these women.  They might reasonably think he's rich even if he isn't Harry.

 

On Made in Chelsea, one of the original participants dated one of Fergie's daughters, I think it was Eugenie.  They thought they were going to get her on the show, but she backed out. 

[Kromm]

I don't think they can ever actually say that this guy is The Harry.  If this show is actually being done in England, wouldn't that be fraud?  i don't think these women can possibly be stupid enough to believe it anyway.  I think they're just acting, or participating in a group hallucination.  I've got an idea for the finale.  Matt ends up in prison for impersonating a royal.  I like him a little, but not the part where he's deceiving these women.  They might reasonably think he's rich even if he isn't Harry.

What I don't get is how they are going to continue to dodge this.  The question "what is your name" or "what do we call you" is a primary one for any relationship, and dodging it inherently suspicious.  Also, there's the very real phenomenon of "does the person look up when you say the name".  At some point some girl is going to yell "Haaaarrrrry!!!!!", the dude isn't even going to seem to hear it, and the jig should be up.

[marketdoctor]

This episode is being re-run tonight, because Fox knows the the cure for low ratings is an episode out of order on a Friday night.

(At least Joss Whedon now knows it really wasn't just him.)

[fliptopbox]

It was the show Megan Wants a Millionaire where they cast the criminal? Even if it wasn't I still remember that controversy and that they couldn't air the rest of the season. Which kinda sucked for me since I was really enjoying how awful it was. Anyway.. I do wonder how exactly Not Harry is skirting around being prosecuted for impersonation of a royal. If that is even a thing. Which I suspect it is, at least over in England...they do take their royalty very seriously after all. I also wonder what he expects these girls to call him as this plays out....because I dunno about anyone else, but I wouldn't settle for Sir. I would demand a name. That part is extreeeeeemely shady to me.

[Rhondinella]

Well, part of my wonders if they are intentionally mis-stating his title (see the discussion on some other threads; they are calling him Harry, Prince of Wales, which is NOT AT ALL his title or even a person that exists; His father is Prince of Wales.  He is Prince Harry of Wales) in order to avoid committing fraud.  They are technically not using an actual existing royal title.

[fliptopbox]

Yeah but just because they are mis-stating the royal title still isn't giving him the green light to say "oh yeah, ladies you can call me Harry", because you know that would basically be telling the girls that he IS that Harry. Whether they get the official title correct or not.. He can't tell them to call him Matt, because that blows his cover...so they're (stupidly) stuck with this Sir business. That would drive me batshit.

[Toaster Strudel]

He could say "call me Matt" and they'll still believe he's Harry in disguise, LOL.