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All Episodes Talk: Small World, Big Lives

NewOrleansLady
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Culture Check: How can the tropes and stereotypes we apply to TV personalities impact our fellow posters, and how do we remain mindful of these effects while discussing them? Please review for more on stereotypes and tropes.

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Culture Check: How can we express our opinions and consider the effect our assumptions may have on the people around us? What impact might speculation have on others, especially when we speculate about children or complex issues like neurodiversity?

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BrownBear2012

BrownBear2012

16 hours ago, suev3333 said:

Good lord....

As much as I dislike Amy, I dislike Chris more.   No way I could live with with that guy. Geez  "It has to be done on this day.....I don't want that becoming a storage place, I don't like the shape of these rocks",     bla blah blah.  Go live alone if you want your perfect, neat, untouched, uncozy house, and want stuff done on a certain day and not a minute later.   🙄 Omg....so cringey and I didn't blame Amy for getting pissed.   

Also, I'm sooooooo glad I live alone!! 😁🎉

THIS! He's been a bachelor all his adult life. He's not use to sharing or compromising. And he picked a woman who really doesn't yield too much on anything...the perfect storm!

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Irate Panda
Irate Panda

A rundown of the show imo: Two LP got married because neither one of them thought they could do better than the other. They had 4 kids, despite probably realizing they were not a good mat

VioletNevermind
VioletNevermind

Ugh.  If I were Amy, I would be furious (and holding my cards very close to my chest).  That conversation in Matt’s office was nothing less than a three-on-one pile-on.  I just don’t understand how Am

funky-rat
funky-rat

We all need to remember that we came in to their lives after they had 4 children and had lived on the farm for a number of years.  None of us saw the years leading up to that.  I don't know what Amy w

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all4mom2

all4mom2

31 minutes ago, Absolom said:

Jackson was really 3 almost 4 when the episode was filmed? He isn't a toddler any more.  From his behavior I was guessing he was two.  An almost four year old is too old for the shenanigans he was pulling especially if it's been going on for awhile.  I don't watch Tori's IG regularly enough to know.   If he was truly closing in on four, they need to do better soon especially if they want to add another child. 

Also, is his speech where it should be for almost four?  Doesn't seem like it.  I know Z&T keep feeding him lines to make it sound it is and, heaven help us, I think the producers might have even dubbed one in for him; reality TV and all.

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BrownBear2012

BrownBear2012

21 hours ago, all4mom2 said:

I can totally see them doing that.  They are a mature couple -- in more ways than one.

Ha...I don't see Caryn being subtle or silent at all if they got married or engaged...she would be showing her ring and putting out on social media like nobody's business. But none of this true...Matt would be taking his sweet time to have his legal team draw up an airtight pre-nup before "popping". the question.

Joan of Argh

Joan of Argh

20 minutes ago, BrownBear2012 said:

My daughter recently suffered a miscarriage. It was really rough on her and she took it hard. We talked on the phone about it and fortunately she has a great husband who helped pull her through the tough time. My only regret is that I couldn't be there to hug her and make some soup for her...we live on opposite ends of the country. She's doing well now and is ready to try again. Luckily she didn't have to relive this on television in front of millions of people.  

Sorry to hear that Brownbear…

I’m sure it was a comfort to your daughter knowing you were just a phone call away and love her dearly… everyone grieves in their own way and time… all we can do is let them know they’re loved and support them while they move through the grief and sadness ❤️
 

JMO but I’ll be surprised if Matt gets married again.. I get the feeling that he’s happy with his life the way it is… I think he loves Caryn and enjoys her company but I just can’t imagine him marrying unless he had an iron clad prenup agreement… his divorce from Amy was very expensive and I don’t think he’d want to go through that again.

 

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all4mom2

all4mom2

(edited)

To the best of my knowledge, assets with which you enter into marriage remain your own in the event of a divorce; you split only those assets accrued during the marriage itself.  The same applies to inherited wealth (such as Amy's father's Lake Michigan cabin one day); as long as you put it in a separate account under your own name, it remains yours alone.   So I don't know that "an airtight prenup" is necessary, but I'm sure plenty of couples get them; it doesn't necessarily prevent them from remarrying.

Edited by all4mom2
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Harry Wails

Harry Wails

19 hours ago, Joan of Argh said:

This is something that Zach and Tori have been struggling with for a while, they’ve spoken about it on IG…. Jackson is jealous of Lilah and accidentally on purpose finds ways to hit her, slap her, shove her, knock her over, flail about and kick her and then act like “oops!”

that’s why Tori mentioned that she’s had a protective bubble around Lilah and is constantly shielding her…. Because when Jackson gets jealous he finds ways to hurt her.

that’s not me saying it, it’s Zach and Tori saying it and they’ve been dealing with it for a while and because Lilah has been so little and fragile they had to protect her because Jackson has been getting more and more boisterous.

They only showed a very mild form of Jacksons jealousy and acting up on the show probably so he wouldn’t look too bad but in reality Zach and Tori have posted short videos of him knocking Lilah over, kicking her as he flails around, throwing toys around that hit Lilah, one time Jackson was so rough that Zach got very angry with him.

Zach and Tori have been bitching about how to handle his jealousy problems since he was 3, now he's 4 and they're still trying to figure out how to control his acting out when he's jealous of Lilah

One night they had an IG LIVE asking for any tips or ideas from other parents 

The solution is pretty easy, you tell them what they did wrong and if they do that again there will be consequences and then you follow through with the consequences and you don't giggle and act like a couple teenagers when he tries to change the subject by making faces or running away yelling silly things like "see you later crocodile" he knew it was supposed to be "aligator" but the minute they giggled and said "see you later aligator" Jackson was in control and he knew it.

My wife and I had the same problem with our son when our daughter was born, our toddler was used to being the center of our universe and he didn't like sharing his parents or anything else with the new baby and he started doing the same thing Jackson does, throwing things, pushing, swinging his legs and arms around and if we didnt stop him he'd knock his baby sister over, or hit her with a wayward arm or leg... it stopped when we started enforcing the rules and he learned there was consequences, time outs and loss of a favorite toy for a period of time or other small punishments, he quickly saw who was in charge and he stopped acting out.

At the same time we also made sure he had one on one special time with both of us as our "big boy" that baby sister was too little to be involved in and that made him very happy. 😉

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Joan of Argh

Joan of Argh

(edited)
31 minutes ago, Munchkin said:

Zach and Tori have been bitching about how to handle his jealousy problems since he was 3, now he's 4 and they're still trying to figure out how to control his acting out when he's jealous of Lilah

One night they had an IG LIVE asking for any tips or ideas from other parents 

The solution is pretty easy, you tell them what they did wrong and if they do that again there will be consequences and then you follow through with the consequences and you don't giggle and act like a couple teenagers when he tries to change the subject by making faces or running away yelling silly things like "see you later crocodile" he knew it was supposed to be "aligator" but the minute they giggled and said "see you later aligator" Jackson was in control and he knew it.

My wife and I had the same problem with our son when our daughter was born, our toddler was used to being the center of our universe and he didn't like sharing his parents or anything else with the new baby and he started doing the same thing Jackson does, throwing things, pushing, swinging his legs and arms around and if we didnt stop him he'd knock his baby sister over, or hit her with a wayward arm or leg... it stopped when we started enforcing the rules and he learned there was consequences, time outs and loss of a favorite toy for a period of time or other small punishments, he quickly saw who was in charge and he stopped acting out.

At the same time we also made sure he had one on one special time with both of us as our "big boy" that baby sister was too little to be involved in and that made him very happy. 😉

Exactly… it’s fairly common for an older sibling to act out and experience jealousy when a new baby is added to the family…. most 3 or 4 yr olds will quit acting out when steered in the right direction and given other options. 👍🏻

It doesn’t mean Jackson is a monster, he’s just a little kid and he was used to all of their attention for quite a while…. now he has to share and he doesn’t like it.
 

 

Edited by Joan of Argh
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zenme

zenme

6 hours ago, BrownBear2012 said:

It's not "dry" heat in Phoenix...I lived there for a four months from June -September and it was every bit as humid as Virginia is right now (where I live). Coupled with temps well into the 100's it was awful.

Ugh! We used to live in VA, and yes! So humid. We were in Sedona and it was definitely a dry heat as compared to where we are in TX. 
What’s Portland like in summer? Anyone know? Is it humid?

BrownBear2012

BrownBear2012

1 hour ago, Joan of Argh said:

Exactly… it’s fairly common for an older sibling to act out and experience jealousy when a new baby is added to the family…. most 3 or 4 yr olds will quit acting out when steered in the right direction and given other options. 👍🏻

It doesn’t mean Jackson is a monster, he’s just a little kid and he was used to all of their attention for quite a while…. now he has to share and he doesn’t like it.
 

 

Jealousy and adjustment to a sibling is normal but continual, deliberate physical aggression is not. He needs to know that he could hurt his sister and it is not acceptable. Maybe, the next time he hits her or throws a toy at her or sits on her, which we witnessed the other night, he’s told that he cannot go to the farm for a visit or that he cannot do another activity he likes. If they don’t nip this in the bud now it will only get worse and I, for one, fail to see anything cute or amusing about his behavior. They talk about putting a bubble around Lilah how about just being more adult like in your disciplining of your child instead of giggling and laughing and putting him in time out for two minutes.

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EllaWycliffe

EllaWycliffe

Unfortunately we're talking about the Roloffs who were raised believing that beating the snot out of each other  was just how people treated each other with neither parent ever stepping in. Again, watch some of the older seasons where Matt is calling Jacob a sissy after Zach spends the day fighting with him or Amy yelling at Jacob to "not bother the older boys" while buddy Mueller and Jeremy make him cry. 

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Joan of Argh

Joan of Argh

3 hours ago, BrownBear2012 said:

Jealousy and adjustment to a sibling is normal but continual, deliberate physical aggression is not. He needs to know that he could hurt his sister and it is not acceptable. Maybe, the next time he hits her or throws a toy at her or sits on her, which we witnessed the other night, he’s told that he cannot go to the farm for a visit or that he cannot do another activity he likes. If they don’t nip this in the bud now it will only get worse and I, for one, fail to see anything cute or amusing about his behavior. They talk about putting a bubble around Lilah how about just being more adult like in your disciplining of your child instead of giggling and laughing and putting him in time out for two minutes.

I agree, you can’t let him get away with that kind of behaviour and if he’s willing to act up like that right in front of them I’d be concerned what he might do when alone in a room with Lilah.

You made an excellent point about “putting the bubble around Lilah instead of being adults and disciplining instead of giggling and laughing”

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BrownBear2012

BrownBear2012

15 hours ago, LucyEth said:

And paint them, apparently Larry and Curly have to come over and paint the hearts too, she is not even doing them all herself lovingly with her own hands.  What bullshit.  She is just laughable!  

I watched the show this week with a friend who had not watched it in years.  Two comments were made “OMG, why don’t they get that kids legs fixed” and “who the hell would marry Amy”.   

I also am astounded at the condition of Jackson’s legs…the bowing is getting more pronounced and it actually looks painful and hard for him to walk. How can they see their child like that and just shrug it off like it’s no big deal we can wait a few more years before doing anything about it. It’s like they don’t even see it… Lilah has issues too. She really doesn’t crawl…she pushes her body with her arms and the legs don’t move too much.. they sort of glide. She needs physical therapy…I’m shocked that their pediatrician hasn’t referred them to a specialist who can help with  strengthening her legs. She’s behind on all the things kids her age should be doing by now. Why isn’t this being addressed by Tori and Zach? 

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winsomeone

winsomeone

Maybe Lilah isn't so far behind. If every time she tries to sit up, stand, or walk, she gets knocked flat by Jackson, maybe she figures it is just easier to stay on her belly to begin with. Also Tori said she doesn't dare talk to the baby or else Jackson is right over there horning in. What kind of world does that baby have to endure because of a jealous brother? Maybe they do need some sort of intervention by CPS to learn how to keep that child safe?

EllaWycliffe

EllaWycliffe

7 hours ago, BrownBear2012 said:

I also am astounded at the condition of Jackson’s legs…the bowing is getting more pronounced and it actually looks painful and hard for him to walk. How can they see their child like that and just shrug it off like it’s no big deal we can wait a few more years before doing anything about it. It’s like they don’t even see it…

Its been stated and shown this season alone that Jackson and Lilah both see a doctor regularly. The leg bowing has been discussed with how he will need surgery but that they are waiting until he is a little older with their doctor's approval.  I don't know what more can be done to prove to audience members that Jackson and Lilah receive medical care.

2 minutes ago, winsomeone said:

What kind of world does that baby have to endure because of a jealous brother? Maybe they do need some sort of intervention by CPS to learn how to keep that child safe?

While there are severe behavioral disorders that can cause violence in small children, I have yet to see any indication that Jackson is violently disturbed and if he was, it would be getting caught on camera. Kids with that sort of problem have siblings with bruises and broken bones and worse. They also don't restrain themselves to the sibling, there would be problems in school. 

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EllaWycliffe

EllaWycliffe

I haven't seen anything happen on this show with Lilah and Jackson that makes me think CPS should be called. YMMV.

I also don't think Jackson displays thd behavior of a severely violent child. Again YMMV. 

I don't think Lilah is being brutalized by her brother. Jackson seems like a fairly normal if spoiled little boy. 

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all4mom2

all4mom2

Agree about Jackson's legs.  I'm sure it's desirable to wait till they're older (they can understand and cooperate more, and maybe Tori's hoping they'll be in the farmhouse where they can live on one floor and not in the house of a bazillion stairs by then), but seems to me the bowing would be adversely affecting his hips and joints and potentially cause additional problems in the future.  Maybe the doctors are leaving it up to the parents to the degree that they responsibly can.

 

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Absolom

Absolom

(edited)

I haven't seen anything CPS worthy on episodes either.  While it makes me cringe a bit to see how Jackson walks, they have had him checked and there are issues of doing the surgery too soon and then that making it necessary to do another surgery later.  I believe it was Tori who said they were hoping to time it to only do one surgery.  I'm sure their pediatrician is working with them on what to do and when.  People are entitled to make medical decisions that others disagree with that are within normal medical limits without CPS oversight.

This week I made a medical decision for my mother that some people at the facility where she lives don't agree with.  However, no one is calling Adult Protective Services because it is within normal medical practice.  It simply isn't the choice they would make.  It doesn't make my decision wrong or bad. 

As for Lilah dwarf children with achondroplasia do frequently develop certain skills such as sitting up, crawling, and walking later than the average normal height child.  It has to do with the disproportion of their head size to their body and the strength required to support their head.  

I think Jackson is spoiled and his parents are of the "now Johnny" type as I call them.  They talk at the kid, but don't put much if any action behind it.  Jackson probably behaves much better at school because he knows the teachers will be on top of bad decisions and won't giggle and laugh at his faces and antics.  He may be doing some showing off for the camera that they allow just to get an episode made, too.  I don't agree with how they handle him, but he isn't my child or grandchild, but nothing that he's done on the show is CPS intervention worthy IMO.

Edited by Absolom
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zenme

zenme

(edited)

I’m hoping the CPS talk was just exaggeration. Although, I know of cases where CPS had been called because siblings were constantly coming to school with bruises. Older siblings picking on a smaller one. They felt parents weren’t doing enough to maintain control and keep the child safe. 

Edited by zenme
all4mom2

all4mom2

Tori strikes me as one of those people who thinks earning a bachelor's degree in education and the title of teacher, on any level, makes her educated and/or even intellectual.  If the rationale behind delaying the surgery is so as to need just one instead of two -- was this an option offered to them? -- it reminds me of Jazz on another TLC reality show who opted for the single surgery over a two-parter and ended up, as a result, having about four surgeries (to date) to repair the damage.

EllaWycliffe

EllaWycliffe

12 minutes ago, all4mom2 said:

So leg-straightening surgery is never performed on still-growing children?  Don't think that's accurate.  Probably depends on the degree of bowing, and Jackson's looks severe.

Didn't say that, did I? I said Zach had the surgery when he was still rapidly growing and it didn't work, causing him to need the second, which is their stated reason for waiting until Jackson is older, and Jackson does see a doctor regularly. You're getting "leg surgery is never performed on still growing children" somewhere else.

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Joan of Argh

Joan of Argh

1 minute ago, LucyEth said:

They may opt for something sooner when he comes home miserable and crying everyday from being picked on because of his legs.  I don’t remember Zach’s legs being as bad a Jackson’s. 

I’ve thought about that and feel terrible for Jackson and Lilah…. Hopefully they won’t receive  a lot of bullying, kids can be so mean.

I wonder when dwarf children realize their situation? Like what age? 
I’m  not sure if they’ve dealt with this on the show, does Jackson know?

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LucyEth

LucyEth

(edited)
1 minute ago, Joan of Argh said:

I’ve thought about that and feel terrible for Jackson and Lilah…. Hopefully they won’t receive  a lot of bullying, kids can be so mean.

I wonder when dwarf children realize their situation? Like what age? 
I’m  not sure if they’ve dealt with this on the show, does Jackson know?

I am trying to remember where I heard them say Jackson said he is going to grow up big and tall like his Mommy.  So maybe the have a conversation in a few years when he can understand.

Edited by LucyEth
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BrownBear2012

BrownBear2012

3 hours ago, EllaWycliffe said:

Its been stated and shown this season alone that Jackson and Lilah both see a doctor regularly. The leg bowing has been discussed with how he will need surgery but that they are waiting until he is a little older with their doctor's approval.  I don't know what more can be done to prove to audience members that Jackson and Lilah receive medical care.

While there are severe behavioral disorders that can cause violence in small children, I have yet to see any indication that Jackson is violently disturbed and if he was, it would be getting caught on camera. Kids with that sort of problem have siblings with bruises and broken bones and worse. They also don't restrain themselves to the sibling, there would be problems in school. 

No one is saying they don't receive medical care...I was questioning the level of care they are getting. For me, I would be getting a second opinion on the leg issue and I would advocate for some physical therapy for Lilah...but that's just me. Pediatricians are great but these children need specific specialists for very specific problems. Sometimes you have step outside of your box and you might have to see someone outside of your 30 mile radius. 

Jackson isn't disturbed or violent but his physical aggression towards Lilah should be addressed in a more serious way. Know your child's currency and use that currency to discipline him accordingly. He likes going to the farm and hanging out with Grandpa and "Cha Cha" then use that. Next time he throws a toy at Lilah or sits on her back (which really was shocking) he gets sent to his room and told that he can't go Grandpa's house for a week. It must be repetitive and strictly enforced or he will continue this and Lilah, who is so fragile and tiny, might actually get hurt, for real.  

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BrownBear2012

BrownBear2012

17 hours ago, Munchkin said:

Zach and Tori have been bitching about how to handle his jealousy problems since he was 3, now he's 4 and they're still trying to figure out how to control his acting out when he's jealous of Lilah

One night they had an IG LIVE asking for any tips or ideas from other parents 

The solution is pretty easy, you tell them what they did wrong and if they do that again there will be consequences and then you follow through with the consequences and you don't giggle and act like a couple teenagers when he tries to change the subject by making faces or running away yelling silly things like "see you later crocodile" he knew it was supposed to be "aligator" but the minute they giggled and said "see you later aligator" Jackson was in control and he knew it.

My wife and I had the same problem with our son when our daughter was born, our toddler was used to being the center of our universe and he didn't like sharing his parents or anything else with the new baby and he started doing the same thing Jackson does, throwing things, pushing, swinging his legs and arms around and if we didnt stop him he'd knock his baby sister over, or hit her with a wayward arm or leg... it stopped when we started enforcing the rules and he learned there was consequences, time outs and loss of a favorite toy for a period of time or other small punishments, he quickly saw who was in charge and he stopped acting out.

At the same time we also made sure he had one on one special time with both of us as our "big boy" that baby sister was too little to be involved in and that made him very happy. 😉

YES! It's a pretty simple solution for mature parents that take disciplining seriously.

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all4mom2

all4mom2

(edited)

It's also possible the parents are rejecting or ignoring the physicians' advice...  That's their legal right as long as it doesn't endanger the child's life (or anyone else's), and we have no way of knowing.  We hear only what Z&T choose to share (and whatever spin they choose to put on it).

Edited by all4mom2
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babyhouseman

babyhouseman

I remember it was said the leg straightening surgery should be after the person reaches their full height. 

I remember on The Little Couple, the son had bowed legs when he was a toddler. It's been a while since she show's been on so I wonder how they're addressing it especially since the mother is a doctor.

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all4mom2

all4mom2

(edited)
19 minutes ago, babyhouseman said:

I remember it was said the leg straightening surgery should be after the person reaches their full height.

I don't know about leg straightening, but leg LENGTHENING begins at age 8, according to Dr. Google, for those with dwarfism who choose it.  Will Klein's legs weren't as severely bowed as Jackson's.  I would think the fact that one is worse than the other would throw off his equilibrium and, again, place unequal strain on the hip joints, knees, ankles, and ligaments, which would be a problem later on. But I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV. 

Again, I wonder if they were given a choice to do one surgery now and another later, but chose to put it off and combine them (less stress; Tori doesn't seem to handle it particularly well).

Hopefully they're not just saving it for an otherwise slow season of LPBW II.

Edited by all4mom2
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Foghorn Leghorn

Foghorn Leghorn

20 minutes ago, babyhouseman said:

I remember it was said the leg straightening surgery should be after the person reaches their full height. 

I remember on The Little Couple, the son had bowed legs when he was a toddler. It's been a while since she show's been on so I wonder how they're addressing it especially since the mother is a doctor.

Will on The Little Couple had one very bowed leg too very similar to Jackson’s.  I see pics of him as late as last week at a swim meet on Instagram and his legs look good.  I don’t think he had surgery as Jen is posting pics of the kids quite often and they are quite active.

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Mod-LunarJester
Message added by Mod-LunarJester,

Culture Check: How can the tropes and stereotypes we apply to TV personalities impact our fellow posters, and how do we remain mindful of these effects while discussing them? Please review for more on stereotypes and tropes.

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Culture Check: How can we express our opinions and consider the effect our assumptions may have on the people around us? What impact might speculation have on others, especially when we speculate about children or complex issues like neurodiversity?

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