S05.E15: Second Honeymoons

[booboopbedoo]

1 hour ago, Evil Queen said:

She told rachel during a visit how she wasn't feeling the "chemistry" with him and that is how it was from the get go. Yet we have never seen her really tell him that. 

Edited 1 hour ago by Evil Queen.

She watches him eat and it turns her off and that stupid belt!!

[KateHearts]

2 hours ago, Racj82 said:

Weve literally seen and heard from Ashley's own mouth that her sister in constantly turning her away from things she seems too dangerous or bad and pushes until Ashley starts to think way. 

I think this is subject to interpretation.  The producers certainly haven't been showing a lot of time with sister butting in. Ashley mentioned that her sister was protective. That doesn't necessarily  mean her sister is interfering in her marriage. It's become obvious that Ashley has assumed the role in her family of needing "protection," and Anthony seems to sense that she needs that and has assumed that role.  It's one thing to protect her from things like scary ocean water; I haven't really heard much from sister that she's trying to trash the marriage.  I honestly don't see that just because Ashley and sister are close and sister "advises" her, that it means she would be a wedge in the relationship.  Hopefully sister has enough interest in her own marriage that she doesn't assume a role larger than Anthony's.

 

Someone mentioned that Anthony might consider moving near sister a good way to allow him some time to himself while Ashley is having her sister-time. I think that's not a bad idea. 

[mimix10]

Please Danielle, get those bangs out of your eyes!!!

[ChristmasJones]

I kind of hate how Danielle gets to run with this story line that Cody isn't masculine enough for her.  I wish he would make some criticisms of her to level the playing field a bit in that regard.

[Racj82]

3 hours ago, KateHearts said:

I think this is subject to interpretation.  The producers certainly haven't been showing a lot of time with sister butting in. Ashley mentioned that her sister was protective. That doesn't necessarily  mean her sister is interfering in her marriage. It's become obvious that Ashley has assumed the role in her family of needing "protection," and Anthony seems to sense that she needs that and has assumed that role.  It's one thing to protect her from things like scary ocean water; I haven't really heard much from sister that she's trying to trash the marriage.  I honestly don't see that just because Ashley and sister are close and sister "advises" her, that it means she would be a wedge in the relationship.  Hopefully sister has enough interest in her own marriage that she doesn't assume a role larger than Anthony's.

 

Someone mentioned that Anthony might consider moving near sister a good way to allow him some time to himself while Ashley is having her sister-time. I think that's not a bad idea. 

 You are missing my point. Someone who has that much control over how Ashley sees things as was demonstrated on the honeymoon and by Ashley's own words COULD end up having a effect on their marriage based on how SHE sees things. We know her sister can make her paranoid or scared of certain things. It's nowhere near a huge leap that her judgements could play out in the marriage. Of course, we don't know if she's literally that bad that she would turn Ashley off of Anthony for whatever reason. My point is that we don't know if she could or would do that. We do know that her influence over her sister is real. It's something that me, for example, would be weary of while entering the relationship. It could turn out all good. But, it's probably something that also gives Anthony pause. I'm talking bigger picture here. His talk earlier in the season about not wanting a lot of outside influence messing with their growing relationship tells me he is indeed at least giving my previous statements thought. I don't blame him.

[Snarklepuss]

On 7/21/2017 at 3:53 PM, Jellybeans said:

Sheila goes by the rule of the land, "Do as I say, not as I do" so it is okaaay according to Nate's ruling Queen.

Now that you mention it, far be it from me to question a cultural thing I may not completely understand, but this whole "Queen" thing, at least as far as Sheila is concerned, is starting to look like justification for treating her man like one of her "subjects".  Which of course, would involve a double standard of behavior.  I agree with the statements above that Nate looks like he's "lost that lovin' feeling" and I don't blame him one bit.  They only know each other a few weeks.  If she's THIS bad this early in the relationship, what's she going to be like when they have REAL issues to face?
 

On 7/22/2017 at 0:23 AM, Blissfool said:

In this episode I noticed that even his car in unattractive and dare I say, un-manly.

I noticed that too!  Plus, I thought Cody was supposed to be a successful business owner.  His car looks like the hand-me-down my neighbor gave his teenage son when he got his license, that he now uses to deliver pizza after school!  I have a feeling there's a LOT more about Cody we don't know that would more than explain Danielle's reaction to him!
 

13 hours ago, Hockeymom said:

Yes! The way I remember it, she was ready to get cozy. He said something about being true to himself and just wanting to be friends. What happened? Now they've flipped the script!

My read on it is that Danielle was WAY too much woman for him and it intimidated him so much he reacted by backing off.  When I was in college a guy in my dorm was after me to date me for quite a while, and I admit I was very into him physically so I might have been a little on the "enthusiastic" side when we were finally alone.  He seemed to be very receptive to my advances but then suddenly put on the brakes mid-way through a heavy make-out session and excused himself rather suddenly.  I didn't see that coming AT ALL and it felt like the record that was being ripped off the turntable (I'm showing my age but it was like that scratch sound effect in my brain).  I was like WHUH???  I stayed up for several hours that night with my suite mates with a bottle of wine (yes this was the stone age when drinking was legal over age 18) trying to figure out what happened.  After picking apart every move (as girlfriends sometimes do) we came to the general conclusion that he had a premature ejaculation and it humiliated him so much thinking I knew what happened that he had to excuse himself.  I had suspected this myself anyway but didn't know for sure.  Anyway, the guy was so embarrassed he somehow could never bring himself to ask me out again.  I felt very rejected and thought he must be some kind of immature wuss if he could let that make him run away because it didn't matter to me at all.  But to be honest his running away like that changed how I felt about him from then on so even if he did ask me out again I probably wouldn't have accepted!  P.S.  The guy is now a successful author!
 

7 hours ago, 27bored said:

Anthony and Ashley - Like I said, I get subtle lazy vibes from Anthony. I will say this re: wives telling their husbands over and over to do things: ladies, take my word for it because your man probably won't be this honest with you -- we mildly resent when you tell us what to do. It reminds us of our mothers. One of the great things about getting older, making your own money, and living on your own is that you call your own shots. We love you, but we don't want a second mommy. Most guys don't keep after their wives reminding them to do shit, and for good reason: it's fucking annoying. To most men, when you "remind" (or, nag) us about stuff, we're thinking, "if this is such a big deal, why am I not that concerned about it?", possibly followed by, "if it's such a big deal to you, why haven't you just gone and done it instead of bugging me about it?" Unless the police are going to come and take the house away and we have to turn tricks for food and/or drug money (or if you're like me, you have to keep turning tricks for food and drug money), we're not going to rush to do much.

Like I said in last week's thread, the way to get a guy to do something when you want is ask him to do it when it needs to be done. If a form needs to be filled out and submitted by 6:00pm on Friday, please don't come nagging me about doing it at 7:30am on Wednesday. Just tell us on Thursday we need to submit a form by COB on Friday and let it go. This might sound like sorriness or laziness, but it's like, at a certain point after spending your life waiting on people to do shit, sitting in traffic while people slow-poke around, standing in long lines while people take their time, getting to appointments 10-15 minutes early to wait an additional 20-30 minutes...you start to develop an "I'll get there when I get there/it'll get done when it gets done" type mentality. Nobody else seems to be in a huge rush for you, so why are you rushing so much for other people's benefit? I used to be that guy who wanted to be everywhere early, because that's just who I was. But when I started realizing I was stressing myself for people who don't give a fuck and who will waste your time with not even a "sorry for your wait". So I no longer have a ton of anxiety about punctuality and lateness. I don't intentionally slow-ass around, but I don't stress about it, either. Unless it's a strict time for work or court, I'll be there when I get there.

OMG, you sound just like my husband, except in his business he needs to worry about punctuality so he hasn't stopped that completely.  And yep, I learned long ago not to act too much like his "mommy" about things because he HATES it, (and if you knew his mother you'd have sympathy for him on that score).  And yes, I've also learned not to nag and to time and word the request in such a way as not to annoy him.  And YES, I did think all this when I saw Ashley acting the way she did with Anthony and thought to myself, "Girlfriend, you have a lot to learn about men".  So far he seems to have the patience of a saint with her, but he seems to be very aware that they are on camera, so it's anyone's guess how he might react down the line when they aren't being filmed all the time.

I also agree with what you said about Danielle - Not much personality there, but then again Cody himself is also a big snooze.

[Snarklepuss]

12 hours ago, 27bored said:

Cody and Danielle - I completely agree with whoever said Cody should've tried the reverse psychology route with Danielle a long time ago. It seems like the only time she seems attracted to him is when he isn't making eyes at her. When he's working out or shooting pool and there's something else to do besides beg at her lap for meager signs of approval, she all of a sudden finds him manly. Which goes back to what I said about her: she's attracted to men who aren't crazy about her. Danielle wants a Mr. Big; someone she can win over. Cody, with his nice guy routine, is there, hat in hand, and there's no chase.

Thanks, I was the "whoever" there.  If he withdrew from her at least he wouldn't seem like such a whiny little boy that can't deal with not getting what he wants.  He might seem like an adult that is able to handle things without resorting to acting like a whiny 8th grader.  That would go a long way toward making her see him as a man and not a boy.  I've said from day one that this business with her saying she wants a "manly" man is probably a producer chosen word.  What she's really looking for is a MATURE man.  Pretty much all the characteristics are interchangeable with some exceptions as to the impression they each give.  Where "manly" isn't accurate is it gives the impression that she wants some kind of he-man when I doubt that's really the case.  I'm sure if I saw photos of Danielle's former BFs they wouldn't necessarily fit that "he-man" category the way the word implies.  She's talking about "manly" in the sense of a guy that can "be a man about things".  That doesn't mean the guy's got to be some kind of Brutus, just a mature man that can act like an adult and not an overgrown kid.

[Drogo]

Danielle's been pretty open about being physically attracted to Cody, just not sexually attracted.   He "does nothing for her" emotionally or intellectually, and she would probably like him more if he never spoke. Like that time I went out with an Angela Bassett lookalike and found out she was dumber than rocks and mean to waitresses. I went home alone that night,  but poor Danielle doesn't have that option.  

I don't love her but I have to feel bad for her. Cody is too woe-is-me(-so-horny) for my taste.  Also for a gym owner he looks like a marshmallow and should be embarrassed by his posture. 

That conversation sitting on the log... pathetic. 

[Wings]

The last 3 episodes remain on my DVR, unwatched.  I came here to catch up.  Nothing has changed.  Lol. Not surprising though.

Who will say yes to staying together in the final episode?   Opinions please.  They should all walk away. Well maybe Ashley and Mathew will give it a go.  

[humbleopinion]

Ashley and Anthony.

But maybe we can fix Danielle up with Matthew....his name is manlier than Cody.

[Hockeymom]

1 hour ago, wings707 said:

Who will say yes to staying together in the final episode?   Opinions please.  

Sheila and Nate - Together (R.I.P. Nate)

Danielle and Cody - Not Together - Sweet Freedom for All Concerned

Ashley and Anthony - Together - Start Planning the Baby Shower

[Wings]

1 minute ago, Hockeymom said:

Sheila and Nate - Together (R.I.P. Nate)

Danielle and Cody - Not Together - Sweet Freedom for All Concerned

Ashley and Anthony - Together - Start Planning the Baby Shower

If Sheila and Nate split they would just find themselves in similar situations.  In that respect the experts  did a good job.  Lol.  

[Hockeymom]

3 minutes ago, wings707 said:

6 minutes ago, Hockeymom said:

 

If Sheila and Nate split they would just find themselves in similar situations.  In that respect the experts  did a good job.  Lol.  

I guess, at least for Sheila. I would hope Nate has learned something though. He's young enough to get something out of this. Once his brother goes off to college, I think his mind-set will change. He'll have that huge responsibility off his shoulders. He won't need to be the role model he never had. He won't need to create a stable home life. And most importantly, Nate will be an empty nester at 26!

I just can't see him being happy stuck at home with Sheila, "Queen" of the dramatic, "I'm leaving, but I'll walk slow so you can beg me to come back" exit. She will suck the soul out of him. She's not secure enough to let him go have fun.  And he can't have fun with her, because, well, she's Sheila. 

[Guest]

I still think Danielle is trying to be polite.

I don't feel chemistry because his grammar irritates me. I don't feel chemistry because of the razor burn on his neck. I don't feel chemistry because he doesn't like to do the things I do. I don't feel chemistry because he hugs me like a high schooler.

if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

[Snarklepuss]

2 hours ago, Drogo said:

Danielle's been pretty open about being physically attracted to Cody, just not sexually attracted.   He "does nothing for her" emotionally or intellectually, and she would probably like him more if he never spoke.

ITA, and I think it's great that you noticed that, but I've been saying that or something very similar so often about them that I feel like an annoying broken record by now.  Speaking of which, it kind of makes me wonder if anyone is really reading my posts.  Sorry, just having a "moment"....  I'll see myself out now....

[gonecrackers]

From the beginning Danielle has said he's a 'good looking guy', but that doesn't mean there's any chemistry, as she continually mentions is very important to her. At the risk of sounding like a broken record myself I've said chemistry between people can't be determined on paper, & why did she not realize this?  I'm over Cody & his immature BS, but she should've known this wasn't a good chance for her to take.

Edited July 23, 2017 by gonecrackers

[Drogo]

If the show doesn't care about being a broken record, neither should we. ;) 

[Snarklepuss]

8 minutes ago, Drogo said:

If the show doesn't care about being a broken record, neither should we. ;) 

Thanks, Drogo, at least we can be broken records together!  ;-)

[2727]

53 minutes ago, Hockeymom said:

hope Nate has learned something though. He's young enough to get something out of this. 

I wish Nate the best. My opinion of him has improved over the course of the show. He was very mature standing up to his mother in Sheila's favor over the whole "queen" designation, and I think he's done a commendable job overall dealing with Sheila's constant histrionics. When someone is determined to pick a fight, there's not a lot he can do except deflect and shut down.

[Gem 10]

16 hours ago, ChristmasJones said:

I kind of hate how Danielle gets to run with this story line that Cody isn't masculine enough for her.  I wish he would make some criticisms of her to level the playing field a bit in that regard.

I agree.  He could start by telling her that she can't even train two dogs to stop jumping on people and barking continuously.  Or better yet, he can throw her in the basement and see how she likes it.  Lol.

[Gem 10]

17 hours ago, mimix10 said:

Please Danielle, get those bangs out of your eyes!!!

Maybe Cody should be a "Man" and tell her the long bangs are not a good look for her.

[Hockeymom]

2 minutes ago, Jassie99 said:

 

Love isn't always pretty or functional or mature. Its hard sometimes. REAL hard. 

I'm not arguing with you really.

I've been married twice. The first lasted 10 years and was a challenge from the start. Sometimes I think the only reason we got married was so that we'd be able to fight in our own place.  The second is going on twenty years. So far, so good...

I know love is messy and dirty and hard work. I also know it doesn't have to be. You can have joy and laughter and fun. 

And just give each other a break a little bit.

It shouldn't be a chore. This early on - before kids, and bills, and illness, and real life, they should be having a blast!

It seems (at least to me) that based on past experiences, Sheila is making Nate "work" to have her. But no one wants to work every day.

[b2H]

I suspect the same stories will be repeated ad nauseum until the end of the series.  Danielle doesn't want Cody, Sheila is going to be insecure, Ashley will over-dramatize everything.

I will be back at Decision time, although I can probably guess the outcomes.

[answerphone]

Did Sheila ever have her orgasm? (Good golly, I hope my grown children don't identify me on this board)

Edited July 23, 2017 by answerphone
Typo

[Gem 10]

10 minutes ago, answerphone said:

Did Sheila ever have her orgasm? (Good golly, I hope my grown children don't identify me on this board)

EVERY damn time Sheila talks about her BIG O or the lack of it, my grown Son has to walk past my t.v. To get something from the kitchen.  Heck, I'm even embarrassed when my husband is watching with me.  Now they are also talking about pleasuring themselves?  I'm hiding under the blankie.

[Snarklepuss]

57 minutes ago, answerphone said:

Did Sheila ever have her orgasm? (Good golly, I hope my grown children don't identify me on this board)

Obviously not or I'm sure the show would have made them scream it from the rooftops so loud everyone's grown son could hear it from the next room, LOL.  And perhaps she wouldn't be such an emotional roller coaster if she'd had one.  She might actually learn to enjoy life once in a while and stop picking on poor Nate for every little perceived offense!  Or maybe that's the reason she hasn't HAD an orgasm in the first place - Not being able to "relax and let herself go".

Edited July 23, 2017 by Snarklepuss

[KateHearts]

2 hours ago, answerphone said:

Did Sheila ever have her orgasm? (Good golly, I hope my grown children don't identify me on this board)

No, she hasn't had one yet. When Dr. Robin, or whoever red-dress is, had her meeting with them she asked about the "chocolate." (Gag) and Sheila said she hadn't had one yet.  And Nate gallantly said it was his intention to "give her a orgasm" (sic).  Methinks if she doesn't know how to give herself one, then he isn't going to do much better. Where's that freaky sex therapist who visited Sonya and Nick last season?

[HZAnita]

Sheila's got some real issues.  I agree with others that she is subconsciously trying to see how far she can push Nate.  With decision day approaching, she seemed like she was trying one of those "I'll break up with him before he breaks up with me" self-defense mechanisms.  Hopefully, with the cameras gone (and the "experiment" over), she can learn to trust him.  He and Anthony are probably two of my favorite guys who've been on this show. 

I think the A&A sister drama is contrived.  If an interfering sister is the worst they have to deal with?  They'll be fine.  It's not like the sister is single and bored.  She's married with a family.

Cody and Danielle are just painful and awkward to watch.  Even when they're holding hands, it's uncomfortable!

The good news:  It's almost over!

[Gem 10]

1 hour ago, HZAnita said:

Sheila's got some real issues.  I agree with others that she is subconsciously trying to see how far she can push Nate.  With decision day approaching, she seemed like she was trying one of those "I'll break up with him before he breaks up with me" self-defense mechanisms.  Hopefully, with the cameras gone (and the "experiment" over), she can learn to trust him.  He and Anthony are probably two of my favorite guys who've been on this show. 

I think the A&A sister drama is contrived.  If an interfering sister is the worst they have to deal with?  They'll be fine.  It's not like the sister is single and bored.  She's married with a family.

Cody and Danielle are just painful and awkward to watch.  Even when they're holding hands, it's uncomfortable!

The good news:  It's almost over!

Isn't holding hands a sign of affection?  Why do they make Cody & Danielle hold hands every minute?  I think by now, we all know they won't make it.

[Evil Queen]

2 hours ago, KateHearts said:

No, she hasn't had one yet. When Dr. Robin, or whoever red-dress is, had her meeting with them she asked about the "chocolate." (Gag) and Sheila said she hadn't had one yet.  And Nate gallantly said it was his intention to "give her a orgasm" (sic).  Methinks if she doesn't know how to give herself one, then he isn't going to do much better. Where's that freaky sex therapist who visited Sonya and Nick last season?

I think its who you are talking about. rachel with her drooling creepy perv face right there naming it "chocolate. She says she is a "coach". Which IMO is a joke. I just came across a picture of her and her partner too. I was surprised though she didn't offer to just jump in the mix of it all and either offer help or send them to some freak like she did Nick and Sonia. 

1 hour ago, Gem 10 said:

Isn't holding hands a sign of affection?  Why do they make Cody & Danielle hold hands every minute?  I think by now, we all know they won't make it.

You would think but when they do it, it comes off awkward and like they are made to do it. If they are thinking its them "trying".....well its not working. 

[27bored]

13 hours ago, Snarklepuss said:

Thanks, I was the "whoever" there.  If he withdrew from her at least he wouldn't seem like such a whiny little boy that can't deal with not getting what he wants.  He might seem like an adult that is able to handle things without resorting to acting like a whiny 8th grader.  That would go a long way toward making her see him as a man and not a boy.  I've said from day one that this business with her saying she wants a "manly" man is probably a producer chosen word.  What she's really looking for is a MATURE man.  Pretty much all the characteristics are interchangeable with some exceptions as to the impression they each give.  Where "manly" isn't accurate is it gives the impression that she wants some kind of he-man when I doubt that's really the case.  I'm sure if I saw photos of Danielle's former BFs they wouldn't necessarily fit that "he-man" category the way the word implies.  She's talking about "manly" in the sense of a guy that can "be a man about things".  That doesn't mean the guy's got to be some kind of Brutus, just a mature man that can act like an adult and not an overgrown kid.

I agree, but I don't know who I'm more annoyed at: Cody for not realizing this or Danielle for not articulating it properly. While I can understand what Danielle wants and I don't think she's necessarily a bad person for wanting it, I do think she's a little deluded, for a couple of reasons. One: she went on a show to paired with a stranger to marry for eight weeks. You have to be open to go against the grain if you're really interested in making this experiment work. Two: there's nothing wrong with having a type, per se, but getting the right kind of guy doesn't mean it's going to make for a good relationship, and given Danielle said one of her exes was a guy's guy who cheated on her for years, you'd think she would understand that. Three: even if Cody isn't exactly her type, Danielle hasn't shown much by way of -- I don't know, appreciation? -- for the fact that this guy is trying to make her happy. She's spent so much time critiquing him that she's missing the fact that it's says a lot that a man is going to go to such lengths for her happiness, so if you're not feeling it, just let the guy keep some of his dignity and go on his way. Grinning and bearing it might seem nice, but in reality it's not respectable at all. Four: Cody doesn't have the exact qualities she wants, but...she also doesn't seem interested in the qualities he does have. He's won almost no points in eight weeks for trying, which is a little telling for Danielle.

Lastly, and it's a point that I haven't seen many people bring up: Danielle doesn't seem like the type of girl who guy's guys would want to engage with. Danielle doesn't try to make herself seem feminine or sexy or flirty. She dresses down a lot. She has a fakey way with most of her interactions, and we don't see her interact with many people outside of Cody. She's the type of woman a guy might notice, but I doubt many guys would waste their time with her. That sounds harsh, but I'm saying, having an attractive personality cuts both ways, and Danielle has a formal, detached disposition most of the time. I don't know if she would switch up if Cody was more her type, is my point.

13 hours ago, Drogo said:

Danielle's been pretty open about being physically attracted to Cody, just not sexually attracted.   He "does nothing for her" emotionally or intellectually, and she would probably like him more if he never spoke. Like that time I went out with an Angela Bassett lookalike and found out she was dumber than rocks and mean to waitresses. I went home alone that night,  but poor Danielle doesn't have that option.  

I don't love her but I have to feel bad for her. Cody is too woe-is-me(-so-horny) for my taste.  Also for a gym owner he looks like a marshmallow and should be embarrassed by his posture. 

That conversation sitting on the log... pathetic. 

I did a quick Google search on Cody and found out, as expected, he was a fat kid (his words). He kind of has that mentality: eager to please, constant need for validation, doesn't give off a general sense of confidence but is confident in what he's good at, can only be honest if in a mildly passive-aggressive way. I think Danielle giving him the cold shoulder is playing on his insecurities, which makes him try harder, which turns her off.

But my thing is, Danielle hasn't encountered one woman who fell in love with and married a man who wasn't her exact type when they met or that she even really liked at first? I'll bet those stories are a dime a dozen. "He wasn't my type at first, but he won me over..." type stories are fairly common. Danielle shut down early on when she realized Cody wasn't her type. As the saying goes, be careful what you ask for. A lot of times people want something so bad, and then when they get it, they realize all they really liked about it was wanting it. Danielle wants a guy's guy now because that's not who Cody is (to her, at least), but if she got a guy's guy who was blunt and a little detached, all of a sudden she'd want a sweet guy who just wants to make her happy.

10 hours ago, Swim mom said:

I still think Danielle is trying to be polite.

I don't feel chemistry because his grammar irritates me. I don't feel chemistry because of the razor burn on his neck. I don't feel chemistry because he doesn't like to do the things I do. I don't feel chemistry because he hugs me like a high schooler.

if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.

Danielle doesn't get points for stringing Cody along. It's one thing not to chop the guy down to size by listing all the ways in which she finds him unattractive, but to keep being vague about how you're just not there yet and you're trying to get to know him better is leading him on, and he doesn't deserve that, either.

The annoying thing, IMHO, is that I can see Cody and Danielle, predictably, not staying together. Cody goes back to dating girls his own age and would probably find a girl fairly easily who is sweet, down-to-Earth, caring, doesn't find every boyish trait he has utterly repulsive. If he wanted to, in 2-3 years, I could see him happily married. On the other hand, Danielle might go out on a couple of dates, or she might even find a guy for the moment who she thinks is a guy's guy...but it won't work. Because he's not going to be all the interested in her, or she won't be all that interested in him.

[Snarklepuss]

3 hours ago, 27bored said:

I did a quick Google search on Cody and found out, as expected, he was a fat kid (his words). He kind of has that mentality: eager to please, constant need for validation, doesn't give off a general sense of confidence but is confident in what he's good at, can only be honest if in a mildly passive-aggressive way. I think Danielle giving him the cold shoulder is playing on his insecurities, which makes him try harder, which turns her off.

ITA with you about the first part, that Danielle's non-interest is playing on Cody's fat kid insecurities, but I don't agree that it's making him try harder as in making him do more positive stuff to get her interested in him.  It's only making him put more pressure on her and go into that self-defeating victim mode of giving up and being his own worst enemy in that regard.  And THAT is what is turning her off, IMO.  If he had any confidence at all he wouldn't be doing that.

3 hours ago, 27bored said:

Danielle doesn't get points for stringing Cody along. It's one thing not to chop the guy down to size by listing all the ways in which she finds him unattractive, but to keep being vague about how you're just not there yet and you're trying to get to know him better is leading him on, and he doesn't deserve that, either.

After watching this show for 5 seasons, I'm sure that the show makes them keep trying even though it's painfully obvious that they're not interested, thus in effect making them "string the other person along".  The experts put a lot of pressure on them to "keep trying" and to keep up the semblance of "working on making things work" until then.  They are probably told not to do or say anything that would let the other party know their final decision (if they've already made one) and to save that for "decision day", which is 8 weeks down the line from the day of the marriage.  I have seen this over and over again with other couples in former seasons, meanwhile everyone here is chanting "just tell them you're not interested" or "just back out now and call it a day".  I am pretty sure the show doesn't want them to do that.  I think the show wants them to keep an open mind and not make a decision until the very end, and strongly encourages them to "keep trying".  I think Danielle is dutifully complying with the show and the "experts" to not give up to see if anything might change over time.  I don't think she's being dishonest about this.  She is saying, "Well, OK, they're the experts and maybe they're right that if I keep trying my feelings might change".  I don't think she's purposely leading this guy on with absolutely no intentions of being sincere about trying, especially when she's under all that pressure to keep herself in the game.  I have seen this over and over again with this show, not just Danielle.  A lot of them seem to go up to the final moment without being open with with the other person about their true feelings because they are being told to keep their minds open until the very end and then make their final "verdict".  Even if they are pretty sure they know what their final decision will be, I am sure they are told to keep their minds open and "keep trying".  So I don't blame Danielle for this at all.  In fact, Cody is doing exactly the same thing.  I don't think he's still being hopeful things will change.  I don't even think he's interested in Danielle at all anyway!

3 hours ago, 27bored said:

Three: even if Cody isn't exactly her type, Danielle hasn't shown much by way of -- I don't know, appreciation? -- for the fact that this guy is trying to make her happy. She's spent so much time critiquing him that she's missing the fact that it's says a lot that a man is going to go to such lengths for her happiness, so if you're not feeling it, just let the guy keep some of his dignity and go on his way. Grinning and bearing it might seem nice, but in reality it's not respectable at all. Four: Cody doesn't have the exact qualities she wants, but...she also doesn't seem interested in the qualities he does have. He's won almost no points in eight weeks for trying, which is a little telling for Danielle.

I addressed some of this in the passage above, but I don't agree that she's not interested in the good qualities he does have.  It's just that the ones she doesn't like kind of cancel those out in the big picture.  And I don't really see where he's gone to such great lengths for her happiness either.  He has mostly just sat back and kind of dug his heels in or given up.  If he were really trying to make her happy I am SURE it wouldn't have gone by her.  I think that's a big part of the problem with him, actually, that he hasn't done much to make her happy at all.  He's mostly acted like an entitled, whiny little brat that is pissed off he's not getting his way.  Take a few weeks back, for example.  She went through great lengths to set up a romantic scene for him by the fire and somehow nothing happened.  I am sorry but I don't put all the blame for that on her.  Why would she have gone through all that effort to set up a scene for romance and then have no intention of being romantic?  I don't buy the stupidity about the s'mores being a romance killer.  S'mores would never stand in the way of my romance and my man would never see that as an effort to kill romance.  I just think that once again, she handed Cody the ball and he dropped it!  He has done that so many times this season I can't even keep track!  He is so self defeating that she can't even HAND him the keys without him dropping them!

[Jassie99]

7 hours ago, Hockeymom said:

I'm not arguing with you really.

I've been married twice. The first lasted 10 years and was a challenge from the start. Sometimes I think the only reason we got married was so that we'd be able to fight in our own place.  The second is going on twenty years. So far, so good...

I know love is messy and dirty and hard work. I also know it doesn't have to be. You can have joy and laughter and fun. 

And just give each other a break a little bit.

It shouldn't be a chore. This early on - before kids, and bills, and illness, and real life, they should be having a blast!

It seems (at least to me) that based on past experiences, Sheila is making Nate "work" to have her. But no one wants to work every day.

I get what you're saying I think for them they are dealing with everything at once. Insecurities, finances, in laws, conflict resolution, etc... All under the eye of producers interference, worry of image, etc... Plus we don't know its their day to day. Many of the couples are bulking at the edit as the theme for each of them (A&A babies, Cody and Dani with sex) wasn't even the main focus of their relationship.

 

But yes we're not seeing the bliss of them falling in love and I get that  and agree but think they aren't showing most of it. Anyway, here's to another 20 yrs for you. Congrats! :)

[Drogo]

8 hours ago, 27bored said:

to keep being vague about how you're just not there yet and you're trying to get to know him better is leading him on, and he doesn't deserve that, either.

Though they're both so unlikeable, there's no horse to root for here. 

[Mr. Miner]

2 hours ago, Drogo said:

Though they're both so unlikeable, there's no horse to root for here. 

They will probably put Cody's dork ass on that second chances show, which thankfully I don't watch.

Edited July 24, 2017 by Mr. Minor
misspelling

[gonecrackers]

6 hours ago, Snarklepuss said:

S'mores would never stand in the way of my romance and my man would never see that as an effort to kill romance.  I just think that once again, she handed Cody the ball and he dropped it!

I agree with everything in the post except above because I don't think she really wants him. The fire scene seems production driven to me. She's really not given out any signals of being truly interested in Cody sexually, & in fact, has said she feels no 'chemistry' or 'spark' with him, & she can't go further until she does. That 'spark' isn't coming & I believe she knows it.  I think she's doing what she can until the 8 weeks are up, possibly holding out some hope for something to change but most likely not counting on it.

I agree with all who have observed how stiff & uncomfortable they look together, mostly. The only time they look somewhat relaxed are when they are having an activity together without any romantic intentions - as just friends.

With Danielle I keep mentally tripping on something she said early on in the 'experiment' - she said when she - first saw Cody she thought oh he's good looking I can try this ... I keep tripping over that because since then I've questioned her intentions going into this 'marriage'. "I can try this" is not a statement of commitment, at all. Then Cody ended up being, Cody, so that was it for her. She's been pretty much been checked out ever since & just paying lip service to the experiment by saying she's 'trying', which is probably just what production wants her to do.

2 hours ago, Drogo said:

Though they're both so unlikeable, there's no horse to root for here. 

I'll give them the benefit of the doubt in that they most likely have good qualities off camera, but participating in this 'experiment' & playing along with production has made them both look stupid.

[Gem 10]

There must be a new clause in the contract that they have to stick it out until the end or else she would have walked out like Heather did last season.  Or .. She's staying in for the money or exposure. 

[gonecrackers]

31 minutes ago, Gem 10 said:

There must be a new clause in the contract that they have to stick it out until the end or else she would have walked out like Heather did last season.  Or .. She's staying in for the money or exposure. 

With the way she's used this to peddle her business I'm going for the latter.

[Evil Queen]

2 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

I agree with everything in the post except above because I don't think she really wants him. The fire scene seems production driven to me. She's really not given out any signals of being truly interested in Cody sexually, & in fact, has said she feels no 'chemistry' or 'spark' with him, & she can't go further until she does. That 'spark' isn't coming & I believe she knows it.  I think she's doing what she can until the 8 weeks are up, possibly holding out some hope for something to change but most likely not counting on it.

I agree with all who have observed how stiff & uncomfortable they look together, mostly. The only time they look somewhat relaxed are when they are having an activity together without any romantic intentions - as just friends.

With Danielle I keep mentally tripping on something she said early on in the 'experiment' - she said when she - first saw Cody she thought oh he's good looking I can try this ... I keep tripping over that because since then I've questioned her intentions going into this 'marriage'. "I can try this" is not a statement of commitment, at all. Then Cody ended up being, Cody, so that was it for her. She's been pretty much been checked out ever since & just paying lip service to the experiment by saying she's 'trying', which is probably just what production wants her to do.

I'll give them the benefit of the doubt in that they most likely have good qualities off camera, but participating in this 'experiment' & playing along with production has made them both look stupid.

Well said. Cody didn't drop any ball during the "s'mores scene". There was nothing to drop there. It was a total producer set up from one scene to the next. She sets up the "romantical" fire with some wine. He comes home with flowers to give her as a surprise just by change on the same night she is doing this fire. Then here is the s'mores. It was filler and nothing more to add to the they aren't having sex crap IMO. Why would she have set up something to have sex with him when she has stated left and right the "chemistry" hasn't ever been there or she "isn't feeling it"....I don't see how one could take that scene as her setting up a time for sex. SMH Especially when it was s'mores of all things. I think production is telling them to hold hands or kiss for certain shots so that stuff comes off so awkward and far from natural. I agree that the awkward does seem to disappear when they are doing something that has nothing to do with sex talk, hand holding or kissing but comes off more like 2 friends having a good time out. 

I am doubting either one really is into the other at this point but have just been going with the flow until the time was up. 

2 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

There must be a new clause in the contract that they have to stick it out until the end or else she would have walked out like Heather did last season.  Or .. She's staying in for the money or exposure. 

I think the clause has always been there. Its just Heather was able to walk off so easily because shit went down that was not ok for anyone to have to put up with. Which in turn since there was a contract signed they set up the snippets to be done by both sides on their own and that was it. With Cody and Danielle there isn't anything to give a good enough reason to be able to walk off like that. They aren't attracted to each other in that way and its fine but they are stuck until the end no matter what. I do think its a shame that the show makes them stick it out but they aren't the first couple to have to either. I can think of plenty more that should have been able to walk away as well in the past but didn't. Part of it is I think the show always tries to find those willing to do what is asked of them. The kind that they can talk into sticking it out no matter what. Heather was the exception and I think they might have been shocked that she wasn't easily persuaded back to trying. With Danielle, she is there for some exposure as. Like gonecrackers said she basically said "I can try this" which really doesn't come off as if she was taking it seriously IMO. One doesn't say that at all about marriage but more about riding a roller coaster, a zip line, kayaking, etc. 

1 hour ago, gonecrackers said:

With the way she's used this to peddle her business I'm going for the latter.

BINGO! Might not do it on the show but there are plenty of ways to do it with attaching yourself to the show in hopes of drawing attention your way for business. 

[Gem 10]

35 minutes ago, Evil Queen said:

Well said. Cody didn't drop any ball during the "s'mores scene". There was nothing to drop there. It was a total producer set up from one scene to the next. She sets up the "romantical" fire with some wine. He comes home with flowers to give her as a surprise just by change on the same night she is doing this fire. Then here is the s'mores. It was filler and nothing more to add to the they aren't having sex crap IMO. Why would she have set up something to have sex with him when she has stated left and right the "chemistry" hasn't ever been there or she "isn't feeling it"....I don't see how one could take that scene as her setting up a time for sex. SMH Especially when it was s'mores of all things. I think production is telling them to hold hands or kiss for certain shots so that stuff comes off so awkward and far from natural. I agree that the awkward does seem to disappear when they are doing something that has nothing to do with sex talk, hand holding or kissing but comes off more like 2 friends having a good time out. 

I am doubting either one really is into the other at this point but have just been going with the flow until the time was up. 

I think the clause has always been there. Its just Heather was able to walk off so easily because shit went down that was not ok for anyone to have to put up with. Which in turn since there was a contract signed they set up the snippets to be done by both sides on their own and that was it. With Cody and Danielle there isn't anything to give a good enough reason to be able to walk off like that. They aren't attracted to each other in that way and its fine but they are stuck until the end no matter what. I do think its a shame that the show makes them stick it out but they aren't the first couple to have to either. I can think of plenty more that should have been able to walk away as well in the past but didn't. Part of it is I think the show always tries to find those willing to do what is asked of them. The kind that they can talk into sticking it out no matter what. Heather was the exception and I think they might have been shocked that she wasn't easily persuaded back to trying. With Danielle, she is there for some exposure as. Like gonecrackers said she basically said "I can try this" which really doesn't come off as if she was taking it seriously IMO. One doesn't say that at all about marriage but more about riding a roller coaster, a zip line, kayaking, etc. 

BINGO! Might not do it on the show but there are plenty of ways to do it with attaching yourself to the show in hopes of drawing attention your way for business. 

You are right, and I'm thinking it might have been something he was smoking that got Heather off the hook supposedly.  She didn't like that smoking from the beginning.

[Gem 10]

On July 22, 2017 at 9:04 PM, ChristmasJones said:

I kind of hate how Danielle gets to run with this story line that Cody isn't masculine enough for her.  I wish he would make some criticisms of her to level the playing field a bit in that regard.

Yeah, she doesn't appear to be a ball of fire herself.  Even tho some on here bash Cody and call him derogatory  names, I haven't seen him bash Danielle, so I guess you can call him a gentleman in that regard.  Let's give the guy SOME credit here.

[Guest]

24 minutes ago, Gem 10 said:

You are right, and I'm thinking it might have been something he was smoking that got Heather off the hook supposedly.  She didn't like that smoking from the beginning.

If one person smokes pot, and the other gets drug tested for their job, would the experts (and I use the term loosely) put them together? 

[Evil Queen]

11 minutes ago, Swim mom said:

If one person smokes pot, and the other gets drug tested for their job, would the experts (and I use the term loosely) put them together? 

Sadly they wouldn't care. The "experts" have pretty much shown since Season 2 how little they care about what happens to these people IMO. 

41 minutes ago, Gem 10 said:

You are right, and I'm thinking it might have been something he was smoking that got Heather off the hook supposedly.  She didn't like that smoking from the beginning.

Don't forget the temper too. It could also have been even more than just the pot. We will never know though of course. 

[Jax7917]

On 7/21/2017 at 0:49 PM, gonecrackers said:

Cody is like the ass hole teenager - have sex with me or I'll break up with you.  I've not been a Danielle fan but I'm way done with Cody at this point. She should've done a Heather (from season 4) earlier on though, instead of giving this imbecile anything to work with like (gasp) hand holding.

I was waiting for her to get up & leave after the log comment, but there she sits still putting up with his bullying. And yes, I feel at this point his pressure is becoming passive bullying.

Unless he grows up & sees marriage as more than a booty call he deserves to live unhappily ever after with his hand as his forever partner.

I agree that his constant " I wanna have sex " is excessive and redundant , but I'm willing to bet it's the producers that won't leave the situation alone more than him constantly going on about it on his own . It's not that I think Danielle should just give into having sex with him , but she is annoying me more than he is with her whole " I'm trying every day to grow a spark with him and I think we're heading in the right direction ."  If by saying right direction she means toward the divorce court then that's true , but she knows as well as we do she is NEVER having sex with him . I honestly think she tried to back out of this like heather did but they wouldn't let that happen again . She looks repulsed by him . If the spark wasn't there in 2 months , it ain't coming and she knows that 

[Gem 10]

8 minutes ago, Jaclyn88 said:

I agree that his constant " I wanna have sex " is excessive and redundant , but I'm willing to bet it's the producers that won't leave the situation alone more than him constantly going on about it on his own . It's not that I think Danielle should just give into having sex with him , but she is annoying me more than he is with her whole " I'm trying every day to grow a spark with him and I think we're heading in the right direction ."  If by saying right direction she means toward the divorce court then that's true , but she knows as well as we do she is NEVER having sex with him . I honestly think she tried to back out of this like heather did but they wouldn't let that happen again . She looks repulsed by him . If the spark wasn't there in 2 months , it ain't coming and she knows that 

Absolutely, and I think the Cody issue is very producer driven to make him look like a total jerk.  I'm sure those experts got to know plenty of him during the choosing process.  They have to keep it fresh and mix personalities up to change things around to keep us interested or every season would be the same.  There's always one or two whack jobs in the bunch and this year it's Cody & Sheila.  Keeps the audience blabbering, just like we all are doing here every day.  We all know this is scripted, but still watch.  And, the sponsors  are making a bundle.  You don't have to be a brain surgeon to figure this out or a psychologist.

[27bored]

11 hours ago, Snarklepuss said:

ITA with you about the first part, that Danielle's non-interest is playing on Cody's fat kid insecurities, but I don't agree that it's making him try harder as in making him do more positive stuff to get her interested in him.  It's only making him put more pressure on her and go into that self-defeating victim mode of giving up and being his own worst enemy in that regard.  And THAT is what is turning her off, IMO.  If he had any confidence at all he wouldn't be doing that.

Absolutely. I waffle back and forth about Cody lacking confidence. I think the fact that he was a chubby kid might play a role in some of his simpering behavior, but then, all we see Danielle doing is saying how she does care about him and is trying to feel a spark but isn't there yet. Is Cody really a bad guy or devoid of confidence for believing her? We're watching this whole thing unfold with the benefit of her THs and one-on-ones with the advisors, but Cody can only go by what she says and what the therapists suggest. To the whole world watching, Danielle clearly seems disinterested in Cody, but she also says how she's trying. A lot of the grief Danielle gets is because we think she's BSing him and us. I don't know that Danielle has given Cody a real chance to win her over because she's been so busy being turned off. I don't think that comes down to a matter of confidence. I think Cody has given Danielle more credit (on a couple of levels) than she deserves, so maybe he thinks she's worth it. If I felt Danielle was more sincere, I'd probably agree. But since it seems like she does little more than tell him smiling lies, Cody just seems like a sucker for not catching on.

After watching this show for 5 seasons, I'm sure that the show makes them keep trying even though it's painfully obvious that they're not interested, thus in effect making them "string the other person along".  The experts put a lot of pressure on them to "keep trying" and to keep up the semblance of "working on making things work" until then.  They are probably told not to do or say anything that would let the other party know their final decision (if they've already made one) and to save that for "decision day", which is 8 weeks down the line from the day of the marriage.  I have seen this over and over again with other couples in former seasons, meanwhile everyone here is chanting "just tell them you're not interested" or "just back out now and call it a day".  I am pretty sure the show doesn't want them to do that.  I think the show wants them to keep an open mind and not make a decision until the very end, and strongly encourages them to "keep trying".  I think Danielle is dutifully complying with the show and the "experts" to not give up to see if anything might change over time.  I don't think she's being dishonest about this.  She is saying, "Well, OK, they're the experts and maybe they're right that if I keep trying my feelings might change".  I don't think she's purposely leading this guy on with absolutely no intentions of being sincere about trying, especially when she's under all that pressure to keep herself in the game.  I have seen this over and over again with this show, not just Danielle.  A lot of them seem to go up to the final moment without being open with with the other person about their true feelings because they are being told to keep their minds open until the very end and then make their final "verdict".  Even if they are pretty sure they know what their final decision will be, I am sure they are told to keep their minds open and "keep trying".  So I don't blame Danielle for this at all.  In fact, Cody is doing exactly the same thing.  I don't think he's still being hopeful things will change.  I don't even think he's interested in Danielle at all anyway!

I agree with most of this. I will say I think the "experts" have done a bad job of diagnosing the problem. I agree that they probably press the couples to keep trying despite a general lack of interest, which I get to some extent, but they're trying to come up with "couple solutions" instead of individual solutions, IMO. I think they should've told Cody what you said earlier about reverse psychology. Stop making eyes at Danielle, stop trying to woo her, stop mentioning sex, stop trying so hard. Marriage is a partnership and if they were to stay together, Danielle doesn't get to sit back and decide whether she's impressed or not. Your wants and needs matter too, and if she can't fulfill them, she's no better for you than you are for her. So decide how much effort she's worth and scale it back a bit. And to Danielle: if a spark is so important to you, you have to create a situation where it can blossom. Hoping to feel something by judging Cody on how well he plays house and keeps after your dogs is not going to create a spark. Most men are not going to spend all their time trying to figure out what you want -- you have to be clear about those wants. The right guy is the guy who cares about you and what you need, period. Not just a collection of traits that have nothing to do with you.

I addressed some of this in the passage above, but I don't agree that she's not interested in the good qualities he does have.  It's just that the ones she doesn't like kind of cancel those out in the big picture.  And I don't really see where he's gone to such great lengths for her happiness either.  He has mostly just sat back and kind of dug his heels in or given up.  If he were really trying to make her happy I am SURE it wouldn't have gone by her.  I think that's a big part of the problem with him, actually, that he hasn't done much to make her happy at all.  He's mostly acted like an entitled, whiny little brat that is pissed off he's not getting his way.  Take a few weeks back, for example.  She went through great lengths to set up a romantic scene for him by the fire and somehow nothing happened.  I am sorry but I don't put all the blame for that on her.  Why would she have gone through all that effort to set up a scene for romance and then have no intention of being romantic?  I don't buy the stupidity about the s'mores being a romance killer.  S'mores would never stand in the way of my romance and my man would never see that as an effort to kill romance.  I just think that once again, she handed Cody the ball and he dropped it!  He has done that so many times this season I can't even keep track!  He is so self defeating that she can't even HAND him the keys without him dropping them!

I think the s'mores thing was a swerve, by design. Danielle wasn't up for sex then just like she isn't up for it now. We've seen Cody clean and cook and help out around the house and with the dogs. He's said he's really trying. Like I said a few weeks back, I think Cody probably walks around with his mom in his head and so he's trying to do the things he thinks a good husband is supposed to do. You hear married women all the time talk about how they wish their husbands helped out more and took some stress off them and how they have to do everything. So Cody's trying to be Johnny-on-the-spot, but Danielle just kind of wants something to complain about. Notice she doesn't ever get too specific about what it is about Cody she isn't into? She mentions certain flaws and whatnot, but it seems like the only thing she consistently has a problem with is him bringing up the fact that they haven't had sex.

2 hours ago, Evil Queen said:

I think the clause has always been there. Its just Heather was able to walk off so easily because shit went down that was not ok for anyone to have to put up with. Which in turn since there was a contract signed they set up the snippets to be done by both sides on their own and that was it. With Cody and Danielle there isn't anything to give a good enough reason to be able to walk off like that. They aren't attracted to each other in that way and its fine but they are stuck until the end no matter what. I do think its a shame that the show makes them stick it out but they aren't the first couple to have to either. I can think of plenty more that should have been able to walk away as well in the past but didn't. Part of it is I think the show always tries to find those willing to do what is asked of them. The kind that they can talk into sticking it out no matter what. Heather was the exception and I think they might have been shocked that she wasn't easily persuaded back to trying. With Danielle, she is there for some exposure as. Like gonecrackers said she basically said "I can try this" which really doesn't come off as if she was taking it seriously IMO. One doesn't say that at all about marriage but more about riding a roller coaster, a zip line, kayaking, etc. 

BINGO! Might not do it on the show but there are plenty of ways to do it with attaching yourself to the show in hopes of drawing attention your way for business. 

I can understand why the show would have a clause like that, not just from a relationship standpoint but as a matter of production. Filming is expensive and I'm sure the network needs some assurance they will get usable footage when the show goes to ask for money, so I'm sure they can't just have people up and quit just because they're not feeling it. But then, the flip side of that is, you get duds like Cody and Danielle, who spend the entire time doing platonic friend shit and complaining about not having any connection. If they're going to force them to stay together, at least have the "experts" challenge and critique them on their behavior within the show. Don't just sit and watch Danielle and her bangs talk about how she's "trying" when she can barely hold the guy's hand and let that slide. A show where individuals challenge aspects of themselves that might impede a healthy relationship can be interesting, too. It doesn't have to just be about whether a couple will stay together.

On 7/22/2017 at 9:04 PM, ChristmasJones said:

I kind of hate how Danielle gets to run with this story line that Cody isn't masculine enough for her.  I wish he would make some criticisms of her to level the playing field a bit in that regard.

Oh, me too. Imagine if Cody said anything like that to Danielle. Say if he said he normally goes for hot blondes with big boobs, and that's why he's not quite feeling it? People would think he was the biggest douche in the world. Or, suppose if he said he wants a woman that's more feminine? He'd be excoriated every week. And, to be honest, I doubt the "experts" would let that slide week after week.

I wish they would've delved into Danielle's background. What's her relationship like with her dad? It's interesting she mentioned she dated a guy who was a "guy's guy" who cheated on her for years. Uh, Danielle's thirty, but she's only thirty. Shouldn't you have a slight epiphany at her age about what it takes to have a good relationship? You're comparing a guy you dated in your early 20s (or even late teens) to what you go for now in your thirties? Huh? Shouldn't your priorities be a little different?

But honestly, Danielle is a good example of why some guys turn into commitment-phobic assholes who cheat. A lot of guys start off like Cody, but then they get lead on by a woman or two, and then they're like, fuck this. They turn into the 3-dates-no-sex-goodbye types who won't spend more than $40 on a date, will never return a phone call or text right away "in order to appear busy", will seem into a girl until she sleeps with him, then she's persona non grata, and refuses to admit to one real feeling...because he doesn't want to get played. And the sad thing is, women like Danielle reinforce the belief that these things work. So for someone like Cody, the next time he meets a girl, if she isn't immediately ready to sleep with him, he's going to think she's just out to play him, even if she's not.

[Evil Queen]

2 hours ago, 27bored said:

 I will say I think the "experts" have done a bad job of diagnosing the problem. I agree that they probably press the couples to keep trying despite a general lack of interest, which I get to some extent, but they're trying to come up with "couple solutions" instead of individual solutions, IMO. I think they should've told Cody what you said earlier about reverse psychology. Stop making eyes at Danielle, stop trying to woo her, stop mentioning sex, stop trying so hard. Marriage is a partnership and if they were to stay together, Danielle doesn't get to sit back and decide whether she's impressed or not. Your wants and needs matter too, and if she can't fulfill them, she's no better for you than you are for her. So decide how much effort she's worth and scale it back a bit. And to Danielle: if a spark is so important to you, you have to create a situation where it can blossom. Hoping to feel something by judging Cody on how well he plays house and keeps after your dogs is not going to create a spark. Most men are not going to spend all their time trying to figure out what you want -- you have to be clear about those wants. The right guy is the guy who cares about you and what you need, period. Not just a collection of traits that have nothing to do with you.

The problem here is the "experts" and producers more than anything IMO. I'm one that has watched from the beginning of MAFS. As things have gone on all you ever see them do is push in ways they shouldn't. They don't really care about these people. They will tell them to keep pushing and keep trying no matter what the people in the relationship are feeling. Which mind you I am probably one of the few that would find the whole "reverse psych" stupid to be more of a mind game. Which IMO with how its been here even then he would still be raked over the coals and called some crappy names for doing so. I bet many would refer to it as "mind games" or something else instead. There is also no proof it would work to behave like that either. I think no matter what Cody is just not her type and that is fine but she shouldn't be saying how she is "trying" because it is like she is leading him on with saying that. I still do hope they discussed things away from the camera and are just going with whatever the producers ask. It comes off like that a bit with how awkward things are most the time. 

[KateHearts]

8 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

With the way she's used this to peddle her business I'm going for the latter.

where is she peddling her business?  I haven't seen that. I thought she worked in a hospital (she's a dietitian).

[Evil Queen]

7 minutes ago, KateHearts said:

where is she peddling her business?  I haven't seen that. I thought she worked in a hospital (she's a dietitian).

There are more ways to do it then on the show like I said before. Yet her name is attached to the show on SM and articles out there so its an easy way to attach her link to what she sells. As far as I have seen she isn't working in a hospital but has her own business and maybe contracts out. Could be wrong but she does have her own business for sure.

[Drogo]

Social media info has its own thread.