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S05.E11: James K's Story


Message added by PrincessPurrsALot

James K. used pidgin English when describing Chinese food.  Such mocking behavior of a presumed accent is racist.  Please do not perpetuate his use of that language. 

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I was fascinated by this episode.  Those bubbly things on his leg with the peely yellow skin.  It was gross but I couldnt stop watching.   I was stunned when he told is wife she had to sleep on the floor in case he had an accident....and she actually made herself a little pile on the floor to sleep on.  WTF.   Loved Dr. No during this episode.  At the end when he triumphantly had 3 grown people hoist him to a sitting position all the while claiming that he was going to prove the doctor wrong just left me speechless.  Hall of fame episode.    

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10 minutes ago, vmcd88 said:

I was fascinated by this episode.  Those bubbly things on his leg with the peely yellow skin.  It was gross but I couldnt stop watching.   I was stunned when he told is wife she had to sleep on the floor in case he had an accident....and she actually made herself a little pile on the floor to sleep on.  WTF.   Loved Dr. No during this episode.  At the end when he triumphantly had 3 grown people hoist him to a sitting position all the while claiming that he was going to prove the doctor wrong just left me speechless.  Hall of fame episode.    

That whole "sleeping on the floor" scene was really badly staged.  They weren't going to turn off the lights????  She laid down and covered up with her blanket with the lights still on.  Trust me, if I spent one minute with that guy, I'd want the lights off AND a blackout mask over my eyes.  Even in the daytime.

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2 hours ago, MillieSparklepants said:

Something else I've been wondering about these bed bound patients -- what about their teeth? How do you go for years and years with no dental care? Tooth pain is some of the worst, and I'm pretty sure these people aren't doing thorough floss and brush routines after every meal, so they're bound to get cavities. Do dentists make house calls?

Sometimes you just get lucky with dentistry.  I brush my teeth at most once per day.  I never touch floss unless there's a big piece of food stuck between the teeth.  I stopped going to the dentist regularly after I became an adult, which was in 1999.  I saw a dentist in 2002, 2004, 2010, 2013, and most recently in late 2016.  Never had a cavity or a toothache.

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1 hour ago, Hockeymom said:

'Cause our boy James, ALWAYS listens to the doctor!

I don't think his heart is healthy enough for steak ("with all the fat, just the way you like it") either. But that's not stopping him. That self indulgent baby isn't about to miss out on one pleasurable thing if he can manipulate his way into getting it. I believe Lisa is definitely "hands on" in that department.

And with that, a little but of vomit comes up...........

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1 hour ago, Michael Stabosz said:

Sometimes you just get lucky with dentistry.  I brush my teeth at most once per day.  I never touch floss unless there's a big piece of food stuck between the teeth.  I stopped going to the dentist regularly after I became an adult, which was in 1999.  I saw a dentist in 2002, 2004, 2010, 2013, and most recently in late 2016.  Never had a cavity or a toothache.

Wow, you definitely are lucky there. I have weak enamel, so I have to be religious about my dental care. 

I didn't get a look at James's teeth, but I did notice that Sean from last season had very crooked teeth. Poor kid definitely needed braces; his incisors were turned almost parallel to each other. Got me thinking about all the other everyday medical stuff beyond the weight that would be extremely difficult to do, especially if you're bed bound. I guess there's always the possibility that they call an ambulance and have the paramedics haul them to the ER for a toothache or an eye test.

36 minutes ago, Yaya said:

I am trying! I can't seem to get through them all in one sitting!

Haha! I know. This episode has touched a raw nerve with a lot of people.

Edited by MillieSparklepants
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2 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

Can one get glasses for seeing distance without a prescription? I mean, I wouldn't try it, but maybe people who just can't get out of the house find a way.

Believe it or not you can order prescription eyewear on line!  All you really need is a Dr.'s office willing to certify that you HAD a prescription for distance/reading lenses once upon a time and they can make them up for you.  You can even call the optometrist where you got your original pair and ask them to pull the old record and just make you up a new pair.  Eyeglass prescriptions don't "expire", only contact lens prescriptions.  And they don't really "go bad" either, the Docs just don't want to take on the liability for someone mishandling contacts and winding up with scratched or infected corneas or worse.

I used to work for an optometrist, if you think James is bad, you should see someone with a really high prescription, who has damaged a contact and has to wait 2 weeks for a new one and only has a 10 year old pair of scary ass, thick glasses to wear!  Murder!

Edited by Dru Blood
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2 hours ago, Michael Stabosz said:

Sometimes you just get lucky with dentistry.  I brush my teeth at most once per day.  I never touch floss unless there's a big piece of food stuck between the teeth.  I stopped going to the dentist regularly after I became an adult, which was in 1999.  I saw a dentist in 2002, 2004, 2010, 2013, and most recently in late 2016.  Never had a cavity or a toothache.

And some of us are unlucky. I was diagnosed with periodontal disease. Since them I floss twice a day, brush 3 times a day, and use a waterpik religiously. I get a "periodontal maintenance" cleaning every 3 months and somehow my gums are getting worse. At my last visit, the dental hygienist said to me: Do you Floss? And I lost it right there! I was like YES ALL I DO IS WORK ON THESE FUCKING TEETH! Do I floss? Jesus H. Christ and then I started crying.

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On 3/20/2017 at 8:26 PM, operalover said:

They roll him over, he takes a massive dump, then they have to roll him back over and pull the pad out? Who does that and where do they put the soiled pads? It looks it took of two them to roll him over. 

I think you've got that backwards . . . He takes a massive dump and THEN they roll him over to clean him. At the beginning of the show I was skeeved out when he called Lisa into the room to tell her he'd just gone to the bathroom. I was shocked that 1) he asked for help AFTER the fact; and 2) the smell didn't give it away before he mentioned it.

They probably have something along the lines of a diaper pail (at least I HOPE they do!!). My 93 yo father-in-law lives with us and last year he developed urinary and fecal incontinence so he has to wear Depends. We bought a diaper genie to deal with the inevitable stench. Works great.  Now if only we could get him to change the depends and bathe more frequently. He's obstinate and surly on the best of days, and downright mean and nasty as his dementia becomes worse - getting him to bathe and maintain any type of proper hygiene is a daily struggle that is really taxing and stressful on my husband and me. 

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I know flappa 1016, my friend's dad was in a similar situation and he was obstinate and surly and often nasty to others as well. He was also wearing the depends. It's a shame because he was a WWII hero and to be reduced to that state is really sad. And so hard on the caregivers. But he didn't want himself to that state, just old age sucks.

The other thing is yes you are right about the order of the pooping the bed! We realized this a few pages back! I Know there is waaaaaay to much to read.

Good luck with your father-in-law I know it isn't easy.

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Let me start out by stating that as children my siblings and I were beaten by our parents and went without meals.  Now what I am going to say next will piss most people out.  Do not say poor Lisa is in an abusive relationship.  It's her choice to stay in it.  Like many four legged animals who are abused they  do not have thumbs to open their doors and run.  Humans are suppose to be the higher intelligent animal.  Lisa  chooses money, food and a place to stay over her own mental being.  It is easier  to give up than to actually walk out the door and take care of yourself.  She is on the pity pot.  At some point, she must like being the martyr   If it takes two to tango then it takes two to be in a abusive relationship.  I think deep down she wants him to die because she keeps providing him the junk food.  If a drug dealer can be convicted of murder by providing the addict the drugs, is she no better? 

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5 minutes ago, Missyunion said:

Lisa  chooses money, food and a place to stay over her own mental being.  It is easier  to give up than to actually walk out the door and take care of yourself.  She is on the pity pot.  At some point, she must like being the martyr   If it takes two to tango then it takes two to be in a abusive relationship.

It is true enough that she can just walk away at any time. But she is so lacking in self confidence that she does not see that the door to her cage is unlocked. She herself has described herself as being "trapped", and she cannot see the way out. 

She needs serious counseling to help her learn that she is capable of living without some kind of man in her life. Right now her mental illness is not allowing her to believe that she can be free.

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5 hours ago, Michael Stabosz said:

Women at that size don't get periods.  

Wrong!! I still got periods at my heaviest weight of 520 pounds however once my weight loss started it turned into non-stop bleeding and I had to take 40 mg of provera daily just to stop the bleeding.  After some time on that my gynocologist was worried that high a dose might give me cancer so she suggested getting a mirena IUD put in. I had that done last July and no bleeding since. I can have a hysterectomy once I get to 300 pounds. I'm currently 462 but my weight loss is slow due to PCOS.

 

Also re: James and sex and a catheter.  I cannot fathom how he could get any type of sexual relief with a catheter in. I would imagine getting an erection alone with a catheter in would hurt (OW MA PENIS!!) plus the ejaculate could never get out since the catheter goes all the way into the bladder. I don't think it would ooze around it if he could orgasm.

Edited by Lizzie Jones
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1 hour ago, gardendiva said:

It is true enough that she can just walk away at any time. But she is so lacking in self confidence that she does not see that the door to her cage is unlocked. She herself has described herself as being "trapped", and she cannot see the way out. 

She needs serious counseling to help her learn that she is capable of living without some kind of man in her life. Right now her mental illness is not allowing her to believe that she can be free.

I know gardendiva, it's so sad. Lisa has the keys to her freedom but she's so far gone, she won't use them. But I totally get why Missyunion feels she does too. Honestly, I go back and forth in how I feel about Lisa. On the one hand I do feel sorry for her, but on the other hand she's allowing this slime ball to abuse Bayley, which royally pisses me off.

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You guys, I'm off topic but--I fell the other day and banged my knees up pretty good. Whenever I mutter "ouch" or "shit, my leg is killing me" I immediately burst into laughter and say "OW, MAH LAIGS!" and it really makes being all black and blue much more bearable. So there's that.

 

On 3/19/2017 at 7:49 PM, Dashing Off said:

> When we found out that he was now at 843 lbs, we both lost it. We both got up from the couch and just stormed out of the room. We could not believe it.

 

@Dashing Off, I loved your whole post but this made me laugh out loud. I love the visual of two fairly normal folks just up and storming out of their own living room over something on TV! I want to watch this show with you and your bf every week. (My son loves to just throw up his hands and storm out of a room or out the front door, for laughs. Maybe that's why it made me so happy.)

On 3/20/2017 at 10:20 PM, aliya said:

Tell me about it. I just had cataract surgery. I thought that was for the elderly. 63's not elderly, is it?  : )

NO. No it is not. Emphatically not. (I'll be 63 in June).

On 3/20/2017 at 11:18 PM, fonfereksglen said:

The Great BD.  That tiny, cancer ridden woman kept fighting until the bitter end.  "The Letter" was on TCM this afternoon.  What an actress and what an old school woman.  BD was so right about old age.  

TCM is running a lot of her movies in the next few days. I'm watching Feud and I was thrilled to see "Whatever Happened To Baby Jane" is going to be on. I'm a huge fan.

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2 hours ago, operalover said:

And some of us are unlucky. I was diagnosed with periodontal disease. Since them I floss twice a day, brush 3 times a day, and use a waterpik religiously. I get a "periodontal maintenance" cleaning every 3 months and somehow my gums are getting worse. At my last visit, the dental hygienist said to me: Do you Floss? And I lost it right there! I was like YES ALL I DO IS WORK ON THESE FUCKING TEETH! Do I floss? Jesus H. Christ and then I started crying.

So sorry to hear, @operalover. If this will make you feel just a little bit better, it's not all bad luck, a lot of it is genetic. On the whole, breastfed babies have better teeth. And some people are just predisposed towards bad teeth or teeth  problems. Plus it can skip a generation. My grandson had problems with his teeth from the minute he got them as a baby and had a partial bridge by the time he was three. But my daughter and I have always had healthy teeth and gums. 

I know people that drink sugary sodas all day long and eat tons of candies/doughnuts or other sweets and never get cavities. And others like you who religiously practice oral hygiene and avoid sweets, yet have nothing but problems. So I feel for ya!

Edited by Miss Chevious
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1 hour ago, Lizzie Jones said:

Wrong!! I still got periods at my heaviest weight of 520 pounds however once my weight loss started it turned into non-stop bleeding and I had to take 40 mg of provera daily just to stop the bleeding.  After some time on that my gynocologist was worried that high a dose might give me cancer so she suggested getting a mirena IUD put in. I had that done last July and no bleeding since. I can have a hysterectomy once I get to 300 pounds. I'm currently 462 but my weight loss is slow due to PCOS.

 

Also re: James and sex and a catheter.  I cannot fathom how he could get any type of sexual relief with a catheter in. I would imagine getting an erection alone with a catheter in would hurt (OW MA PENIS!!) plus the ejaculate could never get out since the catheter goes all the way into the bladder. I don't think it would ooze around it if he could orgasm.

Vomit. Vomit vomit vomit vomit vomit. 

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I just watched this and OMG.

I'm reminded of how my mother used to refer to her mother after she rented an entire house next door to her own for her so she could live with her nurse by herself and remained an abusive alcoholic towards her (although she was always sweet to the grandkids)...

"Sometimes you just have to love someone up to heaven."

Fuck it, get him a few milkshakes everyday and pour some extra sugar in them, add some extra lard to that gravy, make sure those eggs are good and oiled and those biscuits have plenty of butter. He already has congestive heart failure (I couldn't believe when he said that he was glad that he was OK. No, you are not OK, you have congestive heart failure, there is nothing OK with that). Just let him eat himself to death, it won't more than a few months and you will all be better off.

Edited by John M
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2 hours ago, gardendiva said:

It is true enough that she can just walk away at any time. But she is so lacking in self confidence that she does not see that the door to her cage is unlocked. She herself has described herself as being "trapped", and she cannot see the way out. 

She needs serious counseling to help her learn that she is capable of living without some kind of man in her life. Right now her mental illness is not allowing her to believe that she can be free.

She also feels seems to be trapped by a feeling of obligation to James. That if she's not there to take care of him 24/7/365, then no one else can/will. His father isn't in the best of health and I wouldn't blame any other relatives from heading for the hills at the first instant this big poopy baby needs his nappies changed. She very much seems to feel that she (and her daughter) are all he has.

Lisa does strike me as someone suffering from depression and at least a bit of PTSD. That would explain a lot about why she tolerates the kind of treatment she's been getting from his whiney brat (like demanding that she sleep on the floor in case he soils himself during the night) and why she was incapable of telling him "no". She needs therapy desperately if she wants to have any kind of life.

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2 hours ago, Lizzie Jones said:

Also re: James and sex and a catheter.  I cannot fathom how he could get any type of sexual relief with a catheter in. I would imagine getting an erection alone with a catheter in would hurt (OW MA PENIS!!) plus the ejaculate could never get out since the catheter goes all the way into the bladder. I don't think it would ooze around it if he could orgasm.

I think we determined he is wearing a condom type catheter. It is not inserted into the penis, the penis is inserted into it! It can be removed.

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5 minutes ago, Otter said:

Here's Lisa's FB.  She posts that they're still in Houston and will be for "years".  

https://www.facebook.com/lucky2day

And here's James.  

https://www.facebook.com/Kodiakman16?fref=pb&hc_location=friends_tab&pnref=friends.all

She actually posted a meme two days ago that said, "Teach your son to be a gentleman.  Teach your daughter to accept nothing less."  Great.  Now I have wine all over my computer monitor.

Edited by AZChristian
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19 hours ago, Otter said:

This totally off topic so I apologize.  I went through the questions section on my homepage, clicked icons, etc, but cannot find, or it doesn't exist  -- how to read new posts.  The "go to first unread post" doesn't seem to exist..  

I have read all 28 pages (0r 29) Thanks for hints as to settings!  Love reading here and don't want to miss a thing.  How do I go to first new post?  I can be dense, but not intentionally.  :D

 

19 hours ago, Otter said:

Thank you for the welcome!  Hello to you!  Sigh, did that and have the red.  But "go to first new post" isn't appearing,   I don't mind scrolling.  I loaded my home page again and followed your directions.  Not getting what you described!  I can go to the "last" post easily but have to scroll up to see if I missed anything.  May I should change the order?  Thanks for your help!  <3

Hey, Otter! When you click "Forums" at the top of the screen, does it take you to a customized home page where the forums you follow are listed? I'm not sure by the way your first post is worded. Once you click on the link to the bolded thread, which means it has new posts, it should automatically take you to the first unread post; that is a forum wide setting. If there are a lot of photos in that thread, it will sometimes load to the first post, then load the photos, causing the page to adjust and shoving the newest post down the page. However, the newest post will have a darker border.

It sounds like you are saying that you think you are not going to the newest post, but the last post, and have to scroll UP to make sure you haven't missed anything. I don't know why that would be happening, since the newest post being the one it takes you is automatic, but I do know that a few days ago it was automatically taking me to the first post, and I would have to click on the page number of the last page and scroll until I found the dark border. It is what I call a PTV hiccup; just one of the oddities that happens sometimes and looks like it may be the result of bad ads. If I have my ad-block on, I don't have those issues, but I try and not use it on sites that I frequent, like this one, so they can get my few pennies. I've never been able to figure out the "bad" ad so that I can report it, though. 

There is a forum called Bugs that might answer your question, or if it keeps up, you can ask there and someone will respond fairly quickly. 

5 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

Readers can be had anywhere, but I can't possibly wear my readers to see & my eyes aren't even that bad yet for that; I've been near sighted since I was a kid though. I need my prescription glasses for distance. The readers skew everything for far. We have yearly eye doctor appointments for our family, given a few of us are near sighted, & have to update our glasses regularly. Tanisha wore her glasses all the time; James had them on & wasn't reading, so they seemed like regular glasses, not readers. Can one get glasses for seeing distance without a prescription? I mean, I wouldn't try it, but maybe people who just can't get out of the house find a way.

My optometrist goes to the nursing homes with some equipment, but if the person needs some specific testings, they have to be transported to his office for the specialized equipment. He is able to write prescriptions for glasses from whatever he is able to do at the nursing home with his travel equipment. There was a fundraiser many years ago to try and get some equipment at one of the nursing homes so that the patients didn't have to be transported for the specialized tests, but the doctor was very clear he didn't want that to happen since people from the other nursing home and some of his bedridden patients would have to go to that nursing home or his office still, and he was afraid it would cause trouble with the billing of Medicare and Medicaid for the transport of the others and his travel for the home visits. 

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I've really been enjoying these posts regarding the James episode! And in reading the more recent comments, I'm both morbidly curious and guiltily horrified by pondering the possibility of James being "fully functional" or not. ?

Somehow I picture Lisa responding to any request from James for sexual gratification with the same weary resignation she exhibits for poo pad changes:  *Sigh* "Ok just a minute, lemme get some gloves and a towel..."

As my hubby says, good God and Baby Jesus ...

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8 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

She actually posted a meme two days ago that said, "Teach your son to be a gentleman.  Teach your daughter to accept nothing less."  Great.  Now I have wine all over my computer monitor.

I know it!  And sorry about that.  :D  I noticed that all of her photos are old, including the one with James' head and him sitting up.  Reading comments from family and friends, I'm surprised she didn't get more support to leave him.  Unless she made up her mind and/or has a martyr complex.  I still can't help but feel sorry for her.  And them I think about Bayley and I don't feel sorry for her anymore.  

8 minutes ago, Christina said:

 

Hey, Otter! When you click "Forums" at the top of the screen, does it take you to a customized home page where the forums you follow are listed? I'm not sure by the way your first post is worded. Once you click on the link to the bolded thread, which means it has new posts, it should automatically take you to the first unread post; that is a forum wide setting. If there are a lot of photos in that thread, it will sometimes load to the first post, then load the photos, causing the page to adjust and shoving the newest post down the page. However, the newest post will have a darker border.

It sounds like you are saying that you think you are not going to the newest post, but the last post, and have to scroll UP to make sure you haven't missed anything. I don't know why that would be happening, since the newest post being the one it takes you is automatic, but I do know that a few days ago it was automatically taking me to the first post, and I would have to click on the page number of the last page and scroll until I found the dark border. It is what I call a PTV hiccup; just one of the oddities that happens sometimes and looks like it may be the result of bad ads. If I have my ad-block on, I don't have those issues, but I try and not use it on sites that I frequent, like this one, so they can get my few pennies. I've never been able to figure out the "bad" ad so that I can report it, though. 

There is a forum called Bugs that might answer your question, or if it keeps up, you can ask there and someone will respond fairly quickly. 

 

Thanks Christina!  User error of course and figured it out.  I haven't been on a board in years so not familiar with the fancy new software updates.  Lol, I kept looking for "go to last unread post".  Never occurred to me to click on the red bold.  Sheesh.  Change is hard for me!  :D

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6 hours ago, Hockeymom said:

'Cause our boy James, ALWAYS listens to the doctor!

I don't think his heart is healthy enough for steak ("with all the fat, just the way you like it") either. But that's not stopping him. That self indulgent baby isn't about to miss out on one pleasurable thing if he can manipulate his way into getting it. I believe Lisa is definitely "hands on" in that department.

Oh, I actually meant that I think sex would have killed him if he tries to indulge. I know he isn't about to take advice! :)

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11 minutes ago, Otter said:

Thanks Christina!  User error of course and figured it out.  I haven't been on a board in years so not familiar with the fancy new software updates.  Lol, I kept looking for "go to last unread post".  Never occurred to me to click on the red bold.  Sheesh.  Change is hard for me!  :D

Glad you figured it out! I was just coming back to edit my post to suggest you clear your PTV cookie, which I had to do once when my forums were acting up. Now I want cookies. If I wait until the new episode at 8:00, maybe the craving will pass. Nah...must go make cookies.

Edited by Christina
Thinking of cookies and can't spell.
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2 minutes ago, Christina said:

Glad you figured it out! I was just coming back to edit my post to suggest you clear your PTV cookie, which I had to do once when my forums were acting up. Now I want cookies. If I wait until the new episode at 8:00, maybe the craving will pass. Nah...must go make cookies.

I've got ice cream to go along with those cookies!  I'll share if you will.  :D

If I had the ingredients for pie, I'd make one to go along with James' repeat later.  Too lazy to go the store now.  

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1 hour ago, Pepper Mostly said:

 

 

@Dashing OffNO. No it is not. Emphatically not. (I'll be 63 in June).

TCM is running a lot of her movies in the next few days. I'm watching Feud and I was thrilled to see "Whatever Happened To Baby Jane" is going to be on. I'm a huge fan.

I turned 63 in January. WHTBJ was on TCM this afternoon. Maybe it's On Demand if you get that.

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1 hour ago, AZChristian said:

She actually posted a meme two days ago that said, "Teach your son to be a gentleman.  Teach your daughter to accept nothing less."  Great.  Now I have wine all over my computer monitor.

I am laughing so loud right now and can't stop. Yes of course I will take parenting advise from her WHAHAHAHAHAHA

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31 minutes ago, Yolo said:

 

His story is on right now, I called my granny on the phone and we're watching it together. Pray for my granny y'all!??

 

Watching again with my 87 y/o mother. She's like, my God what's their grocery bill?? ??

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2 minutes ago, Anchorabu said:

Watching again with my 87 y/o mother. She's like, my God what's their grocery bill?? ??

??????????????

Realistically that steak dinner he had was enough to feed 3 ppl.

Edited by Yolo
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Actually, they're going to be in a real fix when James finally takes his last breath (screaming about body parts he goes)...

Getting that hunk of flesh out of the house?  Who's gonna do it?

Finding a funeral home that can handle the body?

Cost of a coffin for a body that size?

Assume he'd have to buy 2 cemetery plots?

And then......... think of how they'll dispose of the toxic mattress and all of his diseased stuff. 

Assuming he dies at home and the body releases all that stuff when it goes?  Puddles of body fluids.....

Guessing that cremation is impossible due to the size?

What happens to bodies of this size?  What do the families do?

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On 3/15/2017 at 7:34 PM, Azubah said:

And Lisa seemed so pleased handing him the pie. "How's that look?" Well, it looks like death on a plate, honey.

 

On 3/15/2017 at 7:34 PM, Azubah said:

And Lisa seemed so pleased handing him the pie. "How's that look?" Well, it looks like death on a plate, honey.

Sorry for the double quote but dayum if you didn't make me laugh so hard I almost peed myself!!! LMAO

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