Jeremy and Auj Poj

[Absolom]

Are you remembering to add the two weeks between LMP and conception to the calculation?  Dec 2 to Jan 7 she'd have been 7ish weeks at the gender reveal which is plenty of time for pregnancy symptoms.  The pregnancy really lasts 38 weeks on average but for convenience/convention doctors date it from LMP or based around that convention so you have to add two weeks if you're going by date of conception.   She would have been 3 months toward the middle of February.

[ZoloftBlob]

I'm strictly counting dates and nothing more but I am welcome to learning I am wrong.  If the trip to Ashley was Dec 2 - and to be honest I think they were there for a few days, not just an evening, then from Dec 2 to now (March 30) is 119 days... which divided by 7 is 17, 17 weeks.

I'm not the one claiming a specific date. Audrey is very specific that she conceived the night in the treehouse.. per her instragram post on 12/7/2016, "Last night we had the honor of staying in the @boltfarmtreehouse that Seth built in Walhalla, South Carolina. My goodness? this place is so dreamy, cozy, romantic, and inspiring?We danced a little, cuddled a lot, and dreamt of one day building our own livable treehouse on Roloff Farms." - which if she's insisting on the treehouse story means she had sex on Dec 6.  40 weeks later is Sept 12 not Sept 1st

Edited March 31, 2017 by ZoloftBlob

[ginger90]

I bet Matt has plans drawn up for that "livable treehouse"!!

[humbleopinion]

The Coitus Tree House -coming will soon to Roloff Farms.

For those who want the Auj-Jer experience of their special seed meeting their special egg.

Put it in a far off corner of the farm.

[AZChristian]

29 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

The Coitus Tree House -coming will soon to Roloff Farms.

For those who want the Auj-Jer experience of their special seed meeting their special egg.

Put it in a far off corner of the farm.

Great.  I just had breakfast.  And a little of it just came up into my mouth. 

LOL.

[Absolom]

11 hours ago, ZoloftBlob said:

which if she's insisting on the treehouse story means she had sex on Dec 6.  40 weeks later is Sept 12 not Sept 1st

I'll try again.  True pregnancy from conception to delivery averages 38 weeks so she is pretty much spot on.  The extra two weeks is the time from last period to conception in which time the woman is really not pregnant.  If you use a due date calculator, you have to look to see if it's using conception date or LMP date.  It will vary by 2 weeks.  The reason is most women know the date of their last period, but not the actual date that they conceived.  Audrey went back to guesstimate conception after finding she was pregnant.  Her LMP was in November (if she conceived in early December) so you would have to work backward from either her due date or her guessed to conception date to get the LMP date from which you would then count the 40 weeks.  If we're only using the guessed conception date, then you only count 38 weeks to get the expected due date. 

[ZoloftBlob]

I'll accept that for now but I will be amused if the baby is "late" :)

Never let it be said that I can't be wrong :D

Edited March 31, 2017 by ZoloftBlob

[Jellybeans]

Maybe she know when she conceived because their sex life is almost nonexistent.

[humbleopinion]

Auj has systematically emasculated Jer starting with his hair...from man bun to Kenny G inspired droopy hair curtain.

He kinda looks like he is perpetually stoned...not much brain activity...crickets chirping and cobwebs up in the noggin.

[ZoloftBlob]

If their blog is accurate - and I concede it may not be - he's not allowed to be alone with females other than her lest he "sin" and he's really not allowed to have female friends. Audrey picks his hairstyle, Audrey is the one who chose Los Angeles and Bend. Audrey is clearly the driving force behind the marital business they are attempting to run. Hell, Audrey wrote his speech for his brother's wedding!

Jeremy as a teen was all about hating cats - but Audrey wanted a kitty so....

That episode where they threw the party to celebrate their website and she was just digging into him over fucking up...

But whats really telling is in one of her blogposts where she's all "I was wrong to not understand Jeremy's intentions for my birthday, so I apologized BUT HE ALSO HAD TO APOLOGIZE to me over the gift that was perfectly nice but NOT WHAT I WANTED OR EXPECTED".

Jeremy married his daddy. :)

[camom]

Quote

I wonder if they'll make a pretentious video!

Are you taking odds on that?  Of course they will!

[MissT]

1 hour ago, ZoloftBlob said:

If their blog is accurate - and I concede it may not be - he's not allowed to be alone with females other than her lest he "sin" and he's really not allowed to have female friends. Audrey picks his hairstyle, Audrey is the one who chose Los Angeles and Bend. Audrey is clearly the driving force behind the marital business they are attempting to run. Hell, Audrey wrote his speech for his brother's wedding!

Jeremy as a teen was all about hating cats - but Audrey wanted a kitty so....

That episode where they threw the party to celebrate their website and she was just digging into him over fucking up...

But whats really telling is in one of her blogposts where she's all "I was wrong to not understand Jeremy's intentions for my birthday, so I apologized BUT HE ALSO HAD TO APOLOGIZE to me over the gift that was perfectly nice but NOT WHAT I WANTED OR EXPECTED".

Jeremy married his daddy. :)

What did he give her as a gift that she did not want or expected.    She is insufferable and selfish.  

[ZoloftBlob]

On a very busy day where they were actually getting ready to move back to Oregon, he remembered it was her birthday and stopped at a store and bought two baseball mitts so that they could play catch (something they had apparently talked about). She was off put that a) he waited until the last minute b) he didn't wrap it or make it a special presentation and c) for his birthday she had planned a giant party in a loft in Los Angeles with a photobooth and all of his friends and he didn't return the favor.

Point - I'm actually impressed he remembered her birthday and got her something she had said she wanted. And she made him apologize - and that's coming directly from her Instagram. She made him apologize about a gift.

[Celia Rubenstein]

On 3/31/2017 at 10:10 AM, Jellybeans said:

Maybe she know when she conceived because their sex life is almost nonexistent.

You may be on to something.  Audrey does seem like the type who would get mad and not have sex with Jeremy to punish him ...  and since he is such a perpetual fuck-up, well.  That may happen more often than one would think. 

I was about to say "no way will these two make it for the long haul," but part of me suspects they will end up like Jeremy's parents ... butting heads for 20 years, constantly bickering and unhappy but lacking the imagination and guts to change or fix anything.  Just Matt and Amy, 2.0 ...

 

18 hours ago, ZoloftBlob said:

Jeremy married his daddy. :)

Indeed.

Edited April 1, 2017 by Celia Rubenstein

[ZoloftBlob]

Well, I have to agree, I don't see or predict a divorce there any time soon. In part because they have so much invested in "OMG WE'RE MARRIED AND WE LOVE BEING MARRIED" - I mean, their actual business is marriage at this point, and they are publically on record how they are against divorce, they are married and if something is wrong, by God, they are gonna knuckled and FIX IT! I mean, only losers who don't try don't FIX their marriages.

Seriously, how can they show themselves in public if they divorce? They've been bragging about their advice and shitting on anyone who doesn't disagree - you can bet that there will be dozens of people, including members of their own family, happily pointing fingers at them with "Well, why don't you just FIX IT, kids? You're throwing it away instead of fixing it!"

So yeah, I can see them staying together for a good long while. Unless money becomes a bigger issue. They are living off the show right now.

[Willowsmom]

28 minutes ago, ZoloftBlob said:

Well, I have to agree, I don't see or predict a divorce there any time soon. In part because they have so much invested in "OMG WE'RE MARRIED AND WE LOVE BEING MARRIED" - I mean, their actual business is marriage at this point, and they are publically on record how they are against divorce, they are married and if something is wrong, by God, they are gonna knuckled and FIX IT! I mean, only losers who don't try don't FIX their marriages.

Seriously, how can they show themselves in public if they divorce? They've been bragging about their advice and shitting on anyone who doesn't disagree - you can bet that there will be dozens of people, including members of their own family, happily pointing fingers at them with "Well, why don't you just FIX IT, kids? You're throwing it away instead of fixing it!"

So yeah, I can see them staying together for a good long while. Unless money becomes a bigger issue. They are living off the show right now.

Second the cameras are gone so is Tawdry.

[ZoloftBlob]

Quote

Second the cameras are gone so is Tawdry.

Not if she has a kid. Trust me, she'll be around for *years*. Also, oddly enough, I do sense a certain creepy sincerity in her marriage twaddle. I mean, its all her - Jeremy's deep thoughts on his own always amounted to "... I'd rather do something fun..." and I think her religious faith is genuine if a tad obnoxious. So she's the one behind most of the philosophy of "FIX IT!" so yes I think she'd hang in there for a bit simply because I think she genuinely believes it.

That said, kids are expensive and I suspect  they're not ready for a baby. We'll never hear about it, because they will always present themselves as perfectly happy with maybe some ups and downs BUT SO MUCH IN LOVE! THEYRE FIGHTING TO STAY MARRIED DONTCHA KNOW! But while I definitely think the cameras are a huge motivation for Audrey - I didn't used to, but as its increasingly clear that she's totally on board with being a media whore - I do think the marriage will survive the show ending. For a bit. I think she'll get tired of doing all the work while Jeremy piddles around. And since Jeremy is no where near as clever or as ambitious as his father (that's me complimenting Matt btw - I'll never say that man isn't a worker and isn't clever) there will be problems. Because Audrey will get tired of carrying the load... and I suspect, a lot faster than Amy did.

[humbleopinion]

Jer has tucked  his manhood away and is happy to have Auj run the show.

He will be happy being the doting father and husband, keeping in good graces with Auj, Matt and sucking off the Roloff Farms' teat.

Auj will glom the treehouse baby to ToriZach's baby for any TV deal.

[Evenshorter]

So Jer and Auj are having a GIRL! (Souce Us magazine has a pic of the gender reveal)

[ZoloftBlob]

Oh thank god!

I mean, I am not an asshole to the extreme - but I genuinely worried that  a boy from Zach  who potentially will be a dwarf, would recreate the same ugly dynamic if Jeremy also had a boy since they'd be close in age. Now things wont be so competitive.

[Willowsmom]

Oh goody. A little Tawdry.

[Claire1745]

Notice it says the due date is September 1 and not August 31(?), per Audrey's Instagram. I know it is only a day earlier but that would mess up their treehouse conception. I'm surprised it lists their careers as Barre3 instructor and photographer ( pretty sure it doesn't count when you only take pics of your wife for her blog) and not "author", "successful" marriage bloggers and clothing designer. 

P.S. The journals have a arrived and will FINALLY be shipped. I cant wait for the thousands of marriages to be saved by the 6 questions and calendar template. 

[Evenshorter]

This is going to sound so harsh. I can see Zach and Tori welcoming their little boy with open arms, no matter if he is a little person or not, whether he has any health problems or not. I don't think the same of Jer and Auj. 

[ZoloftBlob]

I don't know about that but after all the "WE THINK WE'RE HAVING A BOY WE HAVE INSTINCTIVELY REFERRED TO THE BABY AS A BOY AND AS HE BECAUSE ITS A BOY!" comments on their social media - I find it hilarious that they instinctively decided three weeks ago that they were having a girl and BOTH decided to wear pink to the gender reveal because they knew! THREE WEEKS AGO AS THEY PRATTED IT WAS A BOY THAT IT WAS REALLY A GIRL!

Yeah so not buying that narrative and so not buying they both  chose to wear pink for the reveal without knowing the gender... they totally knew and prepped.

[spankydoll]

Is their approach similar to Mike Pence and his wife i.e. not being in social situations with other women without the wife present, not attending any events that include alcohol without the wife being present that sort of thing?

She gives me the heebie jeebs and I can't even say why. I don't know why they would want to mess up their footloose gypsy lifestyle to be tied down with a baby. That is exactly why I didn't have children.

[humbleopinion]

Auj wants the internet world to think she is a force to be reckoned with... when in fact she is a cutter and paster of people more clever, more insightful and original than she will ever be.

She knows she is a fraud, a superficial, and a mental lightweight.

And we rejoice in watching her fall on her face with her stupid, immature insights.

[galax-arena]

On the one hand, I'm cackling that these two fools were wrong about the gender. 

On the other hand, I'm sad that their future daughter will have to put up with all their sexist bullshit. 

ETA: I hope the girl ends up being a tomboy with absolutely no interest in dresses or makeup. (As a lesbian, I would never wish an LGBT child upon Jer & Odd because LGBT kids don't deserve to be treated as punishment for homophobes.)

Edited April 2, 2017 by galax-arena

[ZoloftBlob]

I agree in that this Roloff girl will need to always be pretty and if she isn't pretty and of course curly haired, Mommy and Daddy will get bored. Because this is all about Audrey and Jer and since Grandchild 2 is a girl, I suspect she damn well better be pretty since she aint got no penis!

They so wanted a boy - that's the part I love - they can cry "We SUSPECTED THREE WEEKS AGO" all they want but they were totally "Its a boy, Jeremy fucked a boy into me!"

[ginger90]

"Baby girl I hope and pray you have a head of curls and a heart of gold" yup Audrey the curls are important.

[fuzzylollipop]

Jeremy makes mention of the curls somewhere in his instagram as well. 

I find it hilarious that they're having a girl, you know deep down they're both disappointed at that. Now I can't wait for this kid to be born with Asian straight hair. 

[humbleopinion]

Roloff Farms Brand of baby perm kits scented with pumpkins from their patch.

[ZoloftBlob]

I for one am glad they're having a girl. I was concerned - not a lot because not my kid - that if both couples had boys, there would be pressure for the cousins to recreate the Zach/Jeremy twin dynamic, which is neither fair nor healthy to the kids.

[humbleopinion]

Auj and Jer definitely counting on the continuation of the generational sucking off the Roloff Farms' nipple...if they were filming the TV show they are off the hook for actual work.

Jer may have to learn how to run the portion of the farm Matt will allow...and run it into the ground with his innovative creativity.

Auj will be in a deep depressive state since she won't be anyone's #1 gal anymore.... she'll be holding the new rock star of Roloff Farms.

[ZoloftBlob]

Quote

Auj will be in a deep depressive state since she won't be anyone's #1 gal anymore.... she'll be holding the new rock star of Roloff Farms.

Honestly, I think Zach's baby will be the new rock star. If the baby is a dwarf (and I personally hope it isn't simply because dwarfism isn't a merry road of health joy) then it will be the focus. If the baby is average height, it's still the first boy and Matt in particular seems the sort to make a bigger deal over a boychild.

But agreed - no one will want to see Audrey, they will want to see Audrey's baby. I'm genuinely curious if Jer and Audrey are planning to move closer to Portland because carting the baby for three hour drives is gonna get old.

And I will be honest - I better not hear "I'm tired" from either Jer or Auj. They don't work, they don't have jobs, they won't need to track down a day care they can afford so that they can go back to work in three months. Their only work is gonna be raising the child unfettered by actual employment so I better hear some gratitude... because god knows we sure haven't heard much gratitude from these two as they edge into their late twenties with tv paychecks where they're payed to play.

[humbleopinion]

Hoping ZachTori's baby won't be on the farm except for private family events... not for the made up reasons that Auj will want to showcase the 2 babies.

Hope they resist the pressure to shill their baby for TLC ratings.

Auj will make their baby available for any publicity seeking opportunity...for a fee.

Of course, the viewing audience will want to see the ToriZach infant but hoping cooler heads will prevail and no pressure to showcase their baby.

We will see...

[iheartla]

Audrey will still make herself the centre of attention. She'll be dramatic about the sudden changes a newborn brings and blog about how she manages the newborn stage. She's tired but her marriage is stronger than ever (with tips on how to also have a smooth transition into parenthood). She'll blog about how she continues her sex life by fucking in between feedings, while baby sleeps. She'll blog about how important it is to have a strong support system, so she alternates babysitting with her parents and Jer's mom every Friday so they can have scheduled alone time to strengthen their marriage. She'll over embellish and exaggerate all baby's firsts. She is going to buy ALL the Etsy hipster baby clothes, post photos of the baby looking hipsterific, captioned with paragraphs about how God has blessed her.  She's a predictable girl. 

In 16 years, Jerdrey is going to be running off to get weed from Uncle Jacob and fucking boys in her car. 

Edited April 5, 2017 by iheartla

[ZoloftBlob]

iheartla sums it up well. I'm finding her "I've found the perfect pregnancy pillow! (108 dollars on Amazon) and I am drinking NingXia to control my sugar cravings (54 dollars a bottle on Amazon) while I use essential oils (expensive) and prat on about various skin care products...." to be hilarious. I hope at some point she actually starts considering how much the *baby stuff* will cost. SHe's like a walking commercial for trendy pregnancy products. Most hilarious, I look at that giant pillow and find myself wondering if Jeremy has been kicked to the floor.

[Jellybeans]

31 minutes ago, ZoloftBlob said:

Most hilarious, I look at that giant pillow and find myself wondering if Jeremy has been kicked to the floor.

Wait until she asks for a push present.

[Willowsmom]

1 hour ago, Jellybeans said:

Wait until she asks for a push present.

Which had better be diamonds set in platinum.

[ginger90]

I hope he gives her a catcher's mitt.

[leighroda]

I came across an article (I think it was in People), it references the preview for next season, but I haven't seen the preview so forgive me if I misinterpret something. 

The article mentioned that there is a good chance that Zack and Tori's baby is a dwarf... Zack said that at the last ultrasound the babies limbs were measuring smaller than normal. 

This made me think, with Jer and Auj now being pregnant, how will they respond if Zack and Tori's baby is infact little? I could see it going both ways, they could be mad because if Z&T's baby would potentially get more attention, or happy that their child could be the golden child. I'm not saying they'll literally be happy that if Z&T's disabled, as vapid as they are I can't imagine that they would wish harm on Z&T's baby... but I also don't think they would mind so much that their child is the golden child. 

[ZoloftBlob]

If Zach's child is a dwarf (and the odds are fifty/fifty) then you want to remember that there is a non family party involved - TLC. The show is LITTLE People Big World. Two average height people having an average height child is well... bland. I mean sure all births are miracles but frankly, white people with religion having a normal child has sorta been done. Everywhere.

Dwarf babies = ratings bonanza. I mean, The Little Couple was an endlessly boring shitshow until adorable lil dwarf kids were added. Zach coming off a bit more mature helps, as does Tory being mellow and personable. Jeremy mumbling while Audrey assaults the cameras, as they both prat about their child and how they and their child are EXPECTING to be given the farm are just going to look like selfish, vapid assholes.

And heaven forbid that Zach and Tori's kid have severe issues - that will suck all the attention away from Jeremy and Auj. If they want their little girl to be "the golden child" - and I think Matt and Jeremy are just sexist enough to only allow a female golden child until Jeremy mans up and does the job right - then they need to really hope that Roloff #1 is a perfectly normal average height child with no health issues and Tory and Zach's plainer features. Because then, their likely to be attractive little girl will shine by comparison without people feeling the need to circle around the little boy with the hard knock of being a dwarf.

[Honey]

On 4/5/2017 at 2:49 PM, ginger90 said:

I hope he gives her a catcher's mitt.

After he catches the baby with it, of course.

[ZoloftBlob]

Well, fuck me! Remember the marital journals? That were on pre-order and shipping January? And then on pre-order? And then on pre-order and shipping in late march?

Guess what! They're back on pre-order!

[Tidbit]

19 minutes ago, ZoloftBlob said:

Well, fuck me! Remember the marital journals? That were on pre-order and shipping January? And then on pre-order? And then on pre-order and shipping in late march?

Guess what! They're back on pre-order!

Has anyone ever gotten one? If they have, are they willing to admit they actually bought it?

[humbleopinion]

My theory...

Only 10 books in print.

AujJer mail the 10 books out, then those 10 people send them back demanding a refund because the book is an illiterate mess.

Those returned books are mailed out to the next 10 on the wailing list... only to be returned for full refunds .....

Rinse, Lather, repeat.

[ZoloftBlob]

Fans on Audrey and Jeremy's Instagram occasionally ask when they will receive their journals so yes people are ordering it. Anyone who isn't completely submissive and pleasant and encouraging in asking about it is chided by other fans for being complete assholes and too stupid to understand the concept of pre-ordering (even tho the website was indeed stating the journals would ship in late *January*). I'm mostly amused now because there's a Instagram post six days ago where the marrieds clearly state they have the journals and are SHIPPING. And now its back on pre-order.

[humbleopinion]

Check is in the mail....

Fool you once... you actually sent your credit card info to buy the "journal"

Fooled you twice...you believe when they say the tomes are "shipping"

ha ha

[Claire1745]

They are asking people to tag them (Jeremy, Audrey, Beating 50) when they've received their journals. I'm going to assume the fans who bought them are the type to tag them in their posts of the journal. So far they have 3 tags. Not saying that's all that's received or ordered them, but I'm going to guess they didn't sell a ton. Maybe that's why it's a pre order sale still, to encrourage people to buy them whilst there still cheap. 

[ZoloftBlob]

To be fair to the marrieds, I've seen enough people complaining/asking that they probably sold more than three but its honestly kind of a "not necessary" sort of purchase - if you really wanted to journal your marriage, you can do so without the book and without the questions.