S03.E06: Week 4, Night 1

[mertensia]

Ashley doesn't even understand Jared's flat-out "go away now" talk. I wonder if this is the first time she's heard "no" repeatedly in her life.

Oh, Nick, we are with you on your groan.

[Seawolff]

I don't have a perception of Caila being "too perfect" or fake. What I see is a girl who can have a good time but who is not over the top in her behavior or obnoxiously vocal about her thoughts. I was annoyed with her indecisiveness but I'm going to give her a pass. It is a situation that she has never had to make a choice about before. If anything it shows that she is probably a loyal person. She likes Jared, but she is in an environment where it is encouraged that you take opportunities to meet new people. She also said that part of the purpose of going and doing something with someone else was to see if she liked it or if her feelings for Jared were stronger. Most dates are also not to be missed great adventures. She obviously didn't really want to leave Jared, but also she doesn't like the Ashley situation. There's the added complication that Jarred's feelings might be hurt. Added on is the fact that the date is in an hour. On the Bachelor you would go on the date cuz there's only one guy. In this situation you are made to feel as though you are juggling boyfriends. Granted, the premise is to go find a mate within this pool of people.....

[Tara Ariano]

In case you missed it, here's the Previously.TV post on the episode!

Bachelor In Paradise Takes Its Booze On A Cruise And Things Get Pretty Gross

Things devolve even further in paradise when several cast members take to the open seas. Who ranked the best and worst this week?

[backformore]

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@jade.black, about Ashley)

She still has this awkward vibe about her, down to obsessing over Jared the way a 13 year old fangirl obsesses over a celebrity. If she were to play around with different guys (which doesn't need to be sexual at all) she might find out more about herself and relationships which is clearly an area in which she's very inexperienced.

YES - that's exactly it!  And remember, Ashley "fell in love"  with Jared when she saw him on TV on the Bachelorette.  To her, he was a celebrity, and she had a fantasy about them being together - that is why she was on BiP last year. 

[GracieK]

Caila is the kind of girl who is always worried that something better than what she has may come along. She's cold and doesn't connect with men in more than a superficial way. She can't make up her mind because she won't relax enough to enjoy herself. Honey if you think you're too good for everyone, perhaps you shouldn't be slumming it up on BiP. Wasn't she the one who had a bf she met due to "fate"? Saw him on a plane and then somewhere else and thought it was a sign. Then broke up with him to go on the Bachelor as she thought something better came along in Ben. I think she has a bigger Disney Princess delusion than Ashley. 

Edited August 24, 2016 by GracieK
Grammar

[Lamb18]

Actor David Tenant

This is who I think Daniel looks like. (I can't copy and paste a picture in here.)

[ByTor]

I have to admit, while Ashley's sobs are annoying, I enjoyed the hell out of her imitation of Caila smiling, I thought it was pretty spot on!

[ribboninthesky1]

Some idiot woman said that Carl was the hottest guy to come on the show so far.  Maybe he looks better in person because I'm not seeing it.  Still gotta give Nick his props here - he's still the hottest, and manages not to have some combination of alcohol bloat/sunburn/sheen of sweat.  Still, he loses points for those trailer park denim cut-offs - those always look tacky on men to me.     

I stopped paying attention to Ben's season after Jubilee left, so I didn't know much about Caila. I like her, but she's a people pleaser, as perpetually sunny personalities commonly are.  Thus, the indecision about the date. But she WAS clear about her date (or whoever it was) not grinding on her during the booze cruise, ha! I can relate to that - I'm not interested in some man I barely know publicly grinding on me either. 

Carl and blonde twin's lack of rhythm was cringeworthy yet hilarious. He's no Channing Tatum, that's for damn sure.          

I'll stand alone and state that Ashley's swimsuit didn't bother me - it was different, and at least she didn't have to worry about it riding up and having her butt crack blurred out. 

Is Jared the only man under 30 in this group? 

[Mabinogia]

7 minutes ago, ribboninthesky1 said:

Some idiot woman said that Carl was the hottest guy to come on the show so far.

I don't even know which one is Carl. Oh, okay, the one with the tattoos. I'm not big on full coverage tattoos so I don't see the appeal. Nick is my pick for hottest. Second might be Vinnie maybe (those eyes!) 

Was it just him and one other guy who showed up or two other guys?  I want to say there was Lamp Guy and another guy who looks a lot like Lamp Guy but didn't have a lamp. Izzy thinks Lamp Guy is the hottest man on earth and I'm not seeing that either.

[ribboninthesky1]

Three were three guys - Carl, Brett, and Ryan.  The latter two could be the same person, one just has longer hair.  

[backformore]

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I'll stand alone and state that Ashley's swimsuit didn't bother me - it was different, and at least she didn't have to worry about it riding up and having her butt crack blurred out. 

You're not alone.   I've been seeing that style in magazines and fashion blogs, and I like it.  It's better than the choice between low-riding bikini bottom that shows your crack from the top, and a thong-type that shows all of your but.  It's a vintage throwback style, from before bikinis were popular.  It seems practical, you can sit, stand, run around, without constantly adjusting the coverage.   And the peek-a-boo side vents were a nice update. 

[Wandering Snark]

I can't look at that swimsuit and not think either granny panties or Swimwear By Depends™.

[thehepburn]

Someone pointed out that that bathing suit was originally Leah Block's. She must have left it there to further promote whichever company made that hideous thing. On Leah, it looked like a half-baked Gucci wannabe but AshleyI totally has the wrong body for it since she is so bottom heavy. It just emphasizes her tree trunk thighs and how her small breasts are even less in proportion. It's almost as hideous as AshleyI's personality.

[SassyCat]

I too loved that bathing suit Ashley was wearing. It reminded me of a vintage style Marilyn Monroe might wear.

It didn't try to push up her body here, or show too much of her body there, it just fit her beautifully (I thought) , and the cut out sides were the perfect touch. I thought it looked great on her with her flat stomach, and no boob enhancement. She is beautiful enough to pull it off with her natural sized ones. I have to hand it to her to wear something most wouldn't even try on thinking it's too much coverage for a bathing suit. It was lovely.

So was Laces bathing suit she was wearing in the hot tub with Grant. It covered most of her chest, but was stunning.

[halkatla]

Izzy is the Evan of the girls - a less pretty Evan even.

Daniel is the funniest person to ever appear on anything Bachelor related. Best of all though, he got rid of Sarah.

The funniest moment of the show for me was when some guy asked if there were any girls available, and Josh said he had grown close to Amanda (I don´t remember the exact wording) and I just thought he should have said: "I´m usually connected to Amanda by the mouth and I doubt you´ll see either of us for the rest of the day since we´ll be exchanging bodily fluids like sex starved rabbits during mating-season for the next few hours, so she´s not really available". And then I don´t think we saw Josh again during the episode :)

[Losemynumber]

Daniel for bachelor. He's the funniest and most original & unpredictable guy. He's shown his thoughtful side so we know he's not just a one dimensional meathead. He'd be hilarious. 

Edited August 24, 2016 by Losemynumber

[Mabinogia]

I think a Daniel season would be epic! I don't think he takes any of this seriously and would really enjoy every second of it. I know I'd watch the hell out of it.

[violetr]

Re Ashley:

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She reminds me of someone who maybe was really nerdy when she was younger and doesn't know how to handle being hot. She still has this awkward vibe about her, down to obsessing over Jared the way a 13 year old fangirl obsesses over a celebrity. If she were to play around with different guys (which doesn't need to be sexual at all) she might find out more about herself and relationships which is clearly an area in which she's very inexperienced.

There is something deeply damaged about this girl. It's like she's bought into every Disney princess story before they started trying to be at least somewhat feminist. And her self-esteem is in the toilet. It doesn't matter how beautiful you are (and I happen to think she is beautiful), no one is going to want to date such a needy, clingy, insecure mess. She needs some serious therapy. 

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Society has tried so hard to convince us that if you really love someone, all others basically disappear and you can't possibly ever be attracted to someone else. And if you do find yourself attracted to someone else, that's a sign that you're not really in love or fully invested or whatever in your actual relationship. Which is an insanely stupid attitude. You do not have to confess every little crush you have on someone else. If you have the sort of relationship where you can acknowledge these things, and no one freaks out, great. But if not, just keep it to yourself, and don't fool yourself into thinking that occasionally lusting after someone else means you're not really into your partner, and that it is therefore a Big Deal that must be addressed or even pursued. Ugh.

So. Much. Word. I think one reason I watch the Bachelor and all the spinoffs is because for me they're all like some weird throw back to a much more traditional time, which I find sociologically fascinating. It's so different from my life and marriage. My husband and I admit our crushes to each other all the time and it's seriously no big deal and IMO totally normal. 

Quote

 

Actor David Tenant

This is who I think Daniel looks like. (I can't copy and paste a picture in here.)

 

WHAAAT?? You just compared one of the hottest guys to grace my TV screen (Tennant) with one of the most physically distasteful (Daniel). Gah! I don't think they could be farther apart in the looks category!

[Mabinogia]

Ashley is one of those people I would hate to spend time with because she seems exhausting, but I would really like to sit her down and just slap some sense into her. She's stunning (or rather can be when she takes those hideous millipedes off her eyes) and she's smart enough to have an advanced degree (was it masters?) and she seems to come from a good family. I just want to know what went wrong. How did she end up such a fucking mess? If she had confidence, actual confidence, not that fake overconfident "I'm so much prettier than her" thing she tries to do to look confident" she would be fighting men off with a stick. Seriously, she has the goods but OMG that stalker, delusional neediness is such a turn off.

[Padma]

Ashley's' definitely weird, uniquely so. She's stunning--great face, hair, figure and often has a great look, clothes-wise.  She's apparently nice enough that people I like on the show (i.e. Nick) genuinely like her off camera. And she has a master's degree so she can't be dumb (for dumb, see: Twins.)  She's not uninterested in guys either, or she wouldn't have become so obsessed with Jared. (It's not still because he reminds her of Aladin, right?)

But I don't even understand what she wants from Jared. It seems to be "total commitment" but not really anything physical, at least I don't get that impression (plus her rant on how "I can stimulate his mind--the right way to do it", and the whole "I'm not sexy like Caila!" thing that was weird, too).  I don't understand what she's hoping for, seriously.

And she did herself no favors, coming back and then scheming about how to ruin Jared's relationship (including bad mouthing Caila to Tanner and Jade. So glad they caught onto it. Nice to see them, too.  And, just for a moment, Caila and Jared did have a similar kind of "shy/quiet guy and girl get together in true love" vibe that made me--just for a minute--actually root for them. But I think they have nothing at all in common so.. not likely beyond the show.

The comedians(?) on the Aftershow were asked which couple they were most like and they said, Carly and Evan. It was true and they were proud of it. That got me kind of rooting for the two of them, too, even though Carly has felt she's so much better than he is.  Except for his creepy-sounding profession (I don't know what it means, really, from a non-doctor, non-therapist), they ARE kind of "everyman". He's not really bad looking (when not being weird) and she's cute/pretty but no BiP knockout.  Their moment of bonding on the date was really sweet and made me hope it lasts. The couple on the Aftershow was kind of a nice "reality check" that normal, even plain, people can have really great marriages.

Also, Izzy was stunning on the aftershow (tan? weightloss) and I never noticed her at all on the show. Last night I saw the rerun and saw her looking pretty unmemorable. Not sure what happened there. (Vinny looked and sounded great on the aftershow. I think he's someone who will benefit a lot socially from his appearance in "Paradise").

[Andromeda]

On 8/23/2016 at 3:55 PM, Koala said:

Also I find it odd how she's always sobbing when talking about 'love,' and grinning maniacally when she's trashing other women (this time it's Caila; last season it was Clare; and before that it was Britt/Kelsey). It's okay to dislike other women who are "pursuing your guy," but her glee over disliking people is weird. Remember when she called Clare old and undesirable? (Clare was in her early 30s I think.) Even if it is all an act, you've got to have a couple of screws lose to agree to come off as such a lunatic on television. 

I wanted to slap her when she said she was prettier than Caila. According to who? Mirror, mirror on the wall?

P.S. I love Koalas!

[huahaha]

18 hours ago, Padma said:

The comedians(?) on the Aftershow were asked which couple they were most like and they said, Carly and Evan. It was true and they were proud of it. That got me kind of rooting for the two of them, too, even though Carly has felt she's so much better than he is.  Except for his creepy-sounding profession (I don't know what it means, really, from a non-doctor, non-therapist), they ARE kind of "everyman". He's not really bad looking (when not being weird) and she's cute/pretty but no BiP knockout.  Their moment of bonding on the date was really sweet and made me hope it lasts. The couple on the Aftershow was kind of a nice "reality check" that normal, even plain, people can have really great marriages.

That was Katie Lowes (Quinn on Scandal) and her husband, Adam Shapiro (he was in the Steve Jobs movie). They have a lot more going on than the average Bachelor couple.

[bblancobrnx]

22 hours ago, Padma said:

 

Also, Izzy was stunning on the aftershow (tan? weightloss) and I never noticed her at all on the show. Last night I saw the rerun and saw her looking pretty unmemorable. Not sure what happened there. (Vinny looked and sounded great on the aftershow. I think he's someone who will benefit a lot socially from his appearance in "Paradise").

I'm guessing that Izzy didn't feel the need to trowel on the makeup down in the heat and humidity of paradise...she was clearly wearing quite a bit of makeup on After Paradise. She looked the same to me....with the exception of having had her hair and makeup professionally done by the studio experts.

Edited August 25, 2016 by bblancobrnx

[JennPear]

Am I the only one that didn't feel sorry for Sarah when she left?  I kept saying, she played the field and got played.  She let someone go that really seemed to care, only to get caught up in the Daniel competition.  What a waste of time!  And what an illogical move?  Was she simply so bored with the game that she wanted to go home?  I was boring of her, anyway.  There is something about her that is either too laid back, almost like she smoked five blunts before she utters each word; or as if she's purposely trying to keep that too-calm tone of voice that becomes unbearably annoying after awhile.  And she baked a cake for a guy that puts her in competition with two others?  Seriously?  Can we have next season without her?  Honestly, she's not that interesting, from that dull cow-like stare to her tonal pitch.

And Daniel!  Is this guy on drugs?  I don't get it.  Three gals competing for him?  He reminds me of a Saturday Night Live skit where two brothers Yortuk (Dan Aykroyd) and Georg (Steve Martin), "two wild and crazy guys" emigrated from Czechoslovakia view themselves as sexy and capable of picking up some "foxes."  It's almost as if Daniel is following their script.  His dialogue is odd like that.  I think he may be trying to be self-deprecating, at least one would hope this is his direction, but his act just comes off weird.  Almost slightly pervy, weird.

Izzy...wow!  Where in her serial dating book did it tell her to date one guy, see a better looking man and then, just dump her date?  Did I miss that in Dating 101?  And these gals wonder why they are single!  Jeez!  If Lampman doesn't reciprocate her feelings, and I don't think he will, then she's on the fast track home.  And she's not memorable enough to call back for another Paradise, is she?  

Ashley is the perfect definition of "How to screw up everything you touch."  Talk about vindictive.  She makes the perfect villain.  She's mean.  She's manipulative.  She's self-pitying.  She's imperious.  Disney could use her for their next Cruella Deville or Natasha Fatale type.  And she couldn't push Jered away any more if she loaded him on the tongs of a forklift and shoved him over the edge of a cliff.  Frankly, she's beginning to make Chad look sane, in comparison.

Evan, who was once almost normal, now reminds me of  Pe-Pe le Pew.  I smell halitosis when he speaks.  I see bland faces with sickening sweet smiles.  I think of every guy I ever wanted to run from who always caught up and asked, "So where did you go?"   There is just something so un-sexy about him that I'm left thinking of the scent of brussel sprouts.  And when he kisses Carly, I almost pity the girl.  Yet, she chose him.  Out of desperation, maybe?  

Josh is still moaning.  This guy's sound effects would halt any inclination to introduce him to your folks.  I mean, can you imagine saying, "Mom, Dad?   This is my boyfriend, Josh," and then having him go, "mmmmmmhhhh, yeah, mmmmmhh."  It's almost creepy.   Both Amanda and him wanted a date card.  Why?  Can't they suck face just about anywhere?  I think the date would be wasted on them.

I think what keeps me watching this, when I gave up watching the After Paradise show, (after watching Sean Lowe chastise Chad Johnson, and wonder how hypocritical it was that the 'King of Mean' was taking task with 'King Lush', for being rude) is that there are so many despicable types on this show.  The twins come to mind, especially showing off their dumb and dumber routine.  I mean, this defines reality is stranger than fiction.  And they wonder why they remain single?