S04.E04: Honeymoons, Part 1

[zxy556575]

"Luxury yacht designer" is an odd choice of occupation for someone who claims to despise materialism.

Of course, the guy's also been described as a "boat interior designer" and "yacht interior specialist" so who knows. My guess is that he installs cabinetry or something.

[Lily247]

Also, the occupations of the 3 grooms in this season is very vague, while the occupations of the 3 brides is very open and easy to verify. Who knows what those 3 guys really do for a livng? Its like the 2 Ryans from Season 2. With the brides we have a social worker, flight ttendant, and realtor, who all probably work for companies, however I dont know how Nick ccould be a vacation rental something(?) if he has trouble making eye contact. And I am probably very very ignorant but what is an account executive ? 

[seasick]

I think Nick IS into Sonia.  I think he is very subtle with his affection but I actually think he could fall head over heels for her!    I love the way that she accepts his 'shyness' and she will put her head on his shoulder, feed him, or give him a kiss.  I think he appreciates how she shows affection her way without expecting the same cues from him.  I 'get' what she means when she says he shows it by 'being there'.  I think so far they are adorable with each other. 

I do see that little issue where she assumes he means something when maybe he didn't but refuses to believe him.  I think so far his actions have matched his words so I hope she doesn't continue to second-guess his intentions.  

[cecig75]

On 8/17/2016 at 7:43 AM, Pepper Mostly said:

She's already decided that Derek is a slob, a gambler, and a druggie. I hope that the thing she learns from this experiment is that she should never, ever get married. No one will ever be good enough for her. Did you see how she was hanging off the edge of the bed in the opening scene? I would have laughed but I felt so bad for Derek. I think he's sweet.

I'm glad he spoke up for himself. In 4 episodes, she thinks hes a gambler, messy, and a chain smoker! All he was doing was defending himself, which most of us would do whether we are right or wrong. I was a little worried that he would be so smitten with being married that he would let her run all over him like David from season 3, but that's not the case.

It seems as though she has softened up a little for next week's episode. I hope they can at least communicate better...she isn't giving him a shot at all.

[Kiss my mutt]

16 minutes ago, kat12379 said:

Also, the occupations of the 3 grooms in this season is very vague, while the occupations of the 3 brides is very open and easy to verify. Who knows what those 3 guys really do for a livng? Its like the 2 Ryans from Season 2. With the brides we have a social worker, flight ttendant, and realtor, who all probably work for companies, however I dont know how Nick ccould be a vacation rental something(?) if he has trouble making eye contact. And I am probably very very ignorant but what is an account executive ? 

Yes!  Saying you're an account executive doesn't give me much. It's a pretty common title that could mean any number of things. 

I'd like to see tom's portfolio of his work and Nick's vacation rental website. Maybe he's a property manager at a beach condo complex. 

[Snarklepuss]

3 minutes ago, Kiss my mutt said:

Yes!  Saying you're an account executive doesn't give me much. It's a pretty common title that could mean any number of things. 

I'd like to see tom's portfolio of his work and Nick's vacation rental website. Maybe he's a property manager at a beach condo complex. 

I'm going to take my response to this to the Social Media thread.

[jamblastx]

20 minutes ago, kat12379 said:

Also, the occupations of the 3 grooms in this season is very vague, while the occupations of the 3 brides is very open and easy to verify. Who knows what those 3 guys really do for a livng? Its like the 2 Ryans from Season 2. With the brides we have a social worker, flight ttendant, and realtor, who all probably work for companies, however I dont know how Nick ccould be a vacation rental something(?) if he has trouble making eye contact. And I am probably very very ignorant but what is an account executive ? 

I am an Account Executive and in my case I manage the relationship between the company I work for and the clients that I am assigned to.  I negotiate contracts between the company and my clients, am a point of escalation if there is an issue, handle billing disputes, etc.  It can vary between different types of industries.

[Snewtsie]

5 words:  Sonia's denim shorts were tragic.

[henrysmom]

Quote

5 words:  Sonia's denim shorts were tragic.

But better than Derek and Heather's sadly ironic Wifie and Hubby shirts.

[humbleopinion]

Distressed denim describes the shorts and how I felt seeing them.

[seasick]

34 minutes ago, Snewtsie said:

5 words:  Sonia's denim shorts were tragic.

Yes I really expected her to dress girly!  That would suit her personality more.

I'm pretty sure you need a real estate license to manage vacation rentals,(Nick)  but it could be a fairly lucrative thing, and a more steady stream of income than selling.  I think many break into that field doing rentals.  There's probably 'all about it' on the Social Media site but I don't go there until I'm fully disgusted with the show.  

Edited August 18, 2016 by seasick
had another thought. didn't want to double post

[Evil Queen]

3 hours ago, izabella said:

I guess we'll find out since he stopped smoking after his argument with Heather.

I am going to take it there is no way he just upped and stopped after that fight. He can claim whatever...friends can claim it but unless he stops looking like he is high I'm not buying what he is selling. He is not coming off as an "occasional" user at all but dependent on it if first thing he does is get high when he wakes up. Almost every scene of him, he is high. I just think "experts" should have done a better job here with this one. We have now had a dude with anger issues (Ryan whatever), a frickin wacked out narcissistic (Sam), and now we have the druggie (Derek). None of these they could see? I can imagine Derek showed up high to all the meetings and stuff. I am taking it this show doesn't drug test though. They obviously don't spot people with serious mental issues or anger ones so its not surprising I guess that they couldn't tell this dude was on drugs.  

[humbleopinion]

In the near future from the producers:

Welcome to the Married at First Sight auditions...

You will find a specimen cup and a glass lab tube in your application packet.

We will have each one of you step into our lab trailer to collect a urine sample and blood for analysis.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Let's review the definitions of words used on the application.

Never means absolutely haven't done it.

Seldom means once every few years.

Occasional means once every few months.

Frequent means once a week.

Often means more than twice a week.

Daily means every day.

Addicted means partaking morning, noon, night.

Vacation mode means addicted occasionally.

For example, vacation mode drinking is a Bloody Mary at breakfast, beer at lunch, wine at dinner, mojitos after dinner, cognac as a night capper.

No judgements but your honesty is greatly appreciated.

Edited August 18, 2016 by humbleopinion
smore nonsense

[ctbabe]

34 minutes ago, Evil Queen said:

I am going to take it there is no way he just upped and stopped after that fight. He can claim whatever...friends can claim it but unless he stops looking like he is high I'm not buying what he is selling. He is not coming off as an "occasional" user at all but dependent on it if first thing he does is get high when he wakes up. Almost every scene of him, he is high. I just think "experts" should have done a better job here with this one. We have now had a dude with anger issues (Ryan whatever), a frickin wacked out narcissistic (Sam), and now we have the druggie (Derek). None of these they could see? I can imagine Derek showed up high to all the meetings and stuff. I am taking it this show doesn't drug test though. They obviously don't spot people with serious mental issues or anger ones so its not surprising I guess that they couldn't tell this dude was on drugs.  

We would have to wait and see if Heather would say he stopped since she WAS there with him. 

[Evil Queen]

1 hour ago, ctbabe said:

We would have to wait and see if Heather would say he stopped since she WAS there with him. 

Agree. I wouldn't take it just from one side at all but would rather hear what both had to say on the matter. I just have a feeling he didn't stop though with how he has been so far and how he was about the topic.

 

humbleopinion, LMAO That was great. Maybe that should be sent to the "experts" so they can clearly see that these kinds of things should be pointed out more clearly. 

Edited August 18, 2016 by Evil Queen

[Vinyasa]

Quote

I can't believe how good looking Nick is and I didn't notice it before

I know! He did look good in the swimsuit. Better than Derek or Tom.

I'm not sure if Sonia is really a good match or his type. But there are five more weeks so we will find out!

[bichonblitz]

4 hours ago, Kiss my mutt said:

I'd like to see tom's portfolio of his work and Nick's vacation rental website. Maybe he's a property manager at a beach condo complex. 

Re: Nick. That's exactly what it looks like he does. I live in Florida and used to do the same thing. It's a thankless job, a lot of it is phone work and most people book their vacations on line now. You don't need a whole lot of personality to get the job done. Oh, and it doesn't pay shit. 

Edited August 19, 2016 by bichonblitz

[humbleopinion]

Spokes model for Section 8 Yacht Club clothing should help feather the Pendergrast nest.

Think Nick totally bagged his paddle boarding skillz to give Sonia a win.

Very gentlemanly and gallant.

[Jack Sampson]

2 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

Re: Nick. That's exactly what it looks like he does. I live in Florida and used to do the same thing. It's a thankless job, a lot of it is phone work and most people book their vacations on line now. You don't need a whole lot of personality to get the job done. Oh, and it doesn't pay shit. 

And they picked him specifically to finance Sonia's life. 

[Blissfool]

On 8/17/2016 at 9:35 AM, Madame Crabanda said:

Can anyone explain to me Derek's creepy tattoo of a naked headless woman squatting on a skull with flowers coming out of her decapitated neck? That would bother me more than the smoking.

I didn't notice that one, but I liked the one of Superman helping Batman do "The Superman." My siblings and I used to do that all the time when we were young.

After reading the comments, i realize i may be the only person in the world to appreciate Derek's tattoos for their humor.

But i don't appreciate his fondness of pot.....

On 8/17/2016 at 10:19 AM, SaucyMommy said:

Totally agree with this - but I think it's fairly clear that they are talking about weed. The way "smoking" is constantly overdubbed when someone says it makes be believe she was saying "smoking weed".

There was a scene on the balcony where the editing was sooooo obvious that I'm surprised not everybody is jumping all over it on this site...

Heather said something along the lines of "I don't understand why you have to smoke all the time." The word smoke was edited in. I got the feeling she said "get high."

I can sympathize with Heather, as i have dated a pot smoker. Like Derek, a frequent phrase he used when we argued about it was "get off your high horse." (Unfortunately, the only thing high was him.)

On 8/17/2016 at 1:55 PM, izabella said:

He's being himself.  Should he be pretending he doesn't smoke?

Yes! Most people hide their real selves when in a new relationship. They put their best foot forward in order to impress the other person. When they become comfortable is when the cobwebs come out. (I'm not saying this is the right way to go about, but it's just human nature to not want to reveal your misgivings to a new love interest.)

12 hours ago, crazychicken said:

Tom was giving me douche vibes with his talk about the Lexus with Lilly, he knew what car she drove yet still used a nice car as an example......Then when she takes offense the condescending attitude the oh I did not mean you just every other person in Miami was a dick move that he should have been called on. To me it looked like he is used to trying to talk away his foot in mouth disease and if they do not swallow his bulldust he blames the woman for being materialistic.

Hmmmm...could it be that our Tom played it smart with this conversation? He got Lily to express her outrage at being called materialistic. NOW when she actually sees the bus she cannot act all aghast at the sight of it, hence she appear materialistic all over again. 

Very smart, Tom. Very smart, indeed.

[StayingAfterSunday]

10 hours ago, seasick said:

I think Nick IS into Sonia.  I think he is very subtle with his affection but I actually think he could fall head over heels for her!    I love the way that she accepts his 'shyness' and she will put her head on his shoulder, feed him, or give him a kiss.  I think he appreciates how she shows affection her way without expecting the same cues from him.  I 'get' what she means when she says he shows it by 'being there'.  I think so far they are adorable with each other. 

I do see that little issue where she assumes he means something when maybe he didn't but refuses to believe him.  I think so far his actions have matched his words so I hope she doesn't continue to second-guess his intentions.  

I think these two are going to make it.  Since Sonia is employed as a social worker, I would imagine that at least two of her strengths are compassion and patience.  With time, I believe she will begin to find it easier and easier to "dial in" to Nick's quirky ways of communicating - or lack thereof. 

Speaking of Nick, I find him to be hilarious in his own way.  I don't recall the following conversation verbatim (maybe someone else does), but, here's one example of why I think he's a real "card," although he doesn't realize the way he's coming off to others:  Upon being asked by the bridal party (Sonia's bridesmaids) what he thought of Sonia, he quickly says, "I love her," which he then, after a scintilla of awkward hesitation, downgrades to, "well, maybe I don't love her yet," before settling on an abridged version of his original "I love you" statement:  "I guess I could love her."   

During the honeymoon bed scene Sonia becomes frustrated and confused by Nick's comment about it only being "five days," without further explanation. If I had to guess I'd say Nick was thinking out loud about the consummation aspect of the honeymoon, and in his awkwardness he was trying to sort out whether the time was right, how to proceed, whether Sonia would be receptive to his advances, etc. etc.  For Nick, expressing these sexual concerns out loud would be akin to giving a public speech with no clothes on.  He is clearly the very opposite of the other two grooms (Derek and Tom), both of whom have no trouble at all articulating what's on their minds. 

6 hours ago, Vinyasa said:

I know! He did look good in the swimsuit. Better than Derek or Tom.

I'm not sure if Sonia is really a good match or his type. But there are five more weeks so we will find out!

Yes, he did look good in that swimsuit, and Sonia seemed to think so, too.  I think he finds her very attractive also, the top half particulary. 

Edited August 19, 2016 by StayingAfterSunday

[humbleopinion]

My take on the 5/30 Days speech:

Nick is trying to convey to Sonia that he thinks the marriage is progressing emotionally at a rate comfortable to his sensibilities.

He feels 5 days into a relationship and will not be prodded by the cameras and the producers to show emotions he equates with a longer or 30 day relationship.

Unfortunately, Sonia has watched too many TV soap operas and wants him to rip off her clothes and ravage her.

To put it delicately, her kettle has come to a quick boil while Nick's is at slow simmer.

Once again, Sonia perceives Nick's lack of ardor as a failing on her attractiveness, but after her outburst, she understands that he is actually communicating with her his hopefulness for the future of their marriage.

Sonia has to start listening to Nick instead of thinking of what she will say next for the cameras.

  Nick needs to verbally respond to her yammering so she will stop filling the air with noise.

[Madding crowd]

21 hours ago, seasick said:

I'm truly sorry if my comment came off as ridiculing.  My extremes in that example were my own and I did not mean to imply you took it to that level.   But to me the 'sipping a fruity drink' sounds so innoccuous  and 'mind altering' sounds so ominous. I think they're both closer to the middle ground.  I agree that I never saw any big effects of the drinking on Heather (Gad I would think she'd lighten up a bit -- find a smile maybe) --and other than the squinty-eyes(maybe) I didn't see much 'high' in Derek either.  From what I saw I don't think she has a drinking problem but I will concede that Derek is a Pot Smoker.  Not an occasional Pot smoker--but on any occasion where he can do it without consequence.

No, I get the point of your comment, I didn't make myself clear. (on a funny note, I wrote a term paper on the movie Reefer Madness in college!). I really meant that Heather seemed completely sober to me so I guessed she was drinking those drinks you usually get at all inclusive resorts which are weak as hell. Derek seemed less than sober to me. I do admit though that it is hard to tell with the little that is shown. I do know a few pot smokers and I feel that is consumes their lives a bit more than the casual drinkers I know. I'm a casual drinker and sometimes go a few weeks without having a drink at all because I dont happen to be at a bar, wedding etc. The pot smokers I know never go for more a day without smoking yet insist it is way less addictive than alcohol. I think it all varies on definition. 

[WichitaStateShock]

Yeah, I've been to multiple all inclusive resorts and have only gotten drunk when I've taken shots. Those fruity drinks have little alcohol in them. 

[Snarklepuss]

2 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

My take on the 5/30 Days speech:

Nick is trying to convey to Sonia that he thinks the marriage is progressing emotionally at a rate comfortable to his sensibilities.

He feels 5 days into a relationship and will not be prodded by the cameras and the producers to show emotions he equates with a longer or 30 day relationship.

Unfortunately, Sonia has watched too many TV soap operas and wants him to rip off her clothes and ravage her.

I just think Sonia took a glass half empty attitude about Nick's comment.  She took it as a sign that he felt things were moving too fast when he actually meant that things were moving at a comfortable rate for him.  She took it to mean he was telling her he was not as into her as she is into him, when she probably should not have read that into his comment.  I don't think she expected him to rip her clothes off.  I don't think she is ready for that either.  Sonia is a lot insecure and needs to stop reading the worst into everything.

[Nowhere]

I think he's smoking crack.

[Palomar]

Quote

I am going to take it there is no way he just upped and stopped after that fight. He can claim whatever...friends can claim it but unless he stops looking like he is high I'm not buying what he is selling. He is not coming off as an "occasional" user at all but dependent on it if first thing he does is get high when he wakes up. Almost every scene of him, he is high. I just think "experts" should have done a better job here with this one. We have now had a dude with anger issues (Ryan whatever), a frickin wacked out narcissistic (Sam), and now we have the druggie (Derek). None of these they could see? I can imagine Derek showed up high to all the meetings and stuff. I am taking it this show doesn't drug test though. They obviously don't spot people with serious mental issues or anger ones so its not surprising I guess that they couldn't tell this dude was on drugs.

First of all....the pot thing is totally still an assumption so calling him a druggie, dependent on pot, and being high at work is a reach. Even Heather (Derek's biggest critic) said he smoked in the morning so I doubt he is smoking ALL the time or she would have called him on that too (pot or cigarettes).   Whether it is pot or cigarettes...Heather should never have told him she was OK with it and she should have said it was a deal breaker on her "application".  How would he know otherwise since she did say it was OK.  He did seemed stunned on her outburst.  Why couldn't she have said she was concerned about his smoking rather than attacking him?  

Since she was so judgmental about the casino comment and already practically calling him a slob, it is pretty clear she expected perfection in this match up.  She already said if she was dating him she wouldn't see him again.  Kind of not too surprising she hasn't had much luck with finding someone even though she is attractive. Like others have said, no one would be good enough.

Yes, Derek should have handled it better and not turned it back on her with the alcohol comments. I don't blame him for being pissed or upset after hours apart she started up with the same stuff without wanting to talk it out.  She really is the Ashley of this group.

[izabella]

All Heather would have had to have done was say something like, "I'd like to understand your smoking habit better because you are smoking more than I expected.  How often and when do you smoke?  I'm concerned that it is always a daily thing, which would be a problem for me.  Could we talk about this?"

That opens the door to discussion, and to a request that he stop smoking or only smoke once a week, or whatever she thinks is acceptable.  But she blew up about it, and that usually shuts down productive discussions of anything because it puts the other person on the defensive right off the bat.

[ctbabe]

9 minutes ago, Palomar said:

First of all....the pot thing is totally still an assumption so calling him a druggie, dependent on pot, and being high at work is a reach. Even Heather (Derek's biggest critic) said he smoked in the morning so I doubt he is smoking ALL the time or she would have called him on that too (pot or cigarettes).   Whether it is pot or cigarettes...Heather should never have told him she was OK with it and she should have said it was a deal breaker on her "application".  How would he know otherwise since she did say it was OK.  He did seemed stunned on her outburst.  Why couldn't she have said she was concerned about his smoking rather than attacking him?  

Since she was so judgmental about the casino comment and already practically calling him a slob, it is pretty clear she expected perfection in this match up.  She already said if she was dating him she wouldn't see him again.  Kind of not too surprising she hasn't had much luck with finding someone even though she is attractive. Like others have said, no one would be good enough.

Yes, Derek should have handled it better and not turned it back on her with the alcohol comments. I don't blame him for being pissed or upset after hours apart she started up with the same stuff without wanting to talk it out.  She really is the Ashley of this group.

*kisses* I totally agree with you. The key is she didn't want it resolved.

[Jellybeans]

Heather does not like anything Derek does.  If Derek was everything Heather wanted, I doubt whatever Derek is smoking would bother her.  Whether it is cigarettes or pot!  Every single thing he does is wrong.

Heather's mother said something about her love for wine. That is when Heather excused herself from the table.  Was it a sore subject or did Heather have to go to the bathroom right that second?  

[henrysmom]

Quote

Heather's mother said something about her love for wine. That is when Heather excused herself from the table.  Was it a sore subject or did Heather have to go to the bathroom right that second?

I think Heather's mother said the way to her heart was chocolate, and Heather corrected her and said that no, the way to her heart was wine.  

[Jellybeans]

9 minutes ago, henrysmom said:

I think Heather's mother said the way to her heart was chocolate, and Heather corrected her and said that no, the way to her heart was wine.  

That is not what I remember but I don't want to watch it again LMAO.

[Soup333]

Eh, I'm being kind of lax on this season after the last two disastrous seasons. Derek and Heather won't make it. She seems rather uptight and nitpicky. Tom and Lily probably will crash and burn. I'm cautiously optimistic about Sonia and Nick, but this show is 2 out of 9 so I'm not putting my money on any of these couples. 

[henrysmom]

Quote

That is not what I remember but I don't want to watch it again LMAO.

Me either.  Anybody want to take one for the team and rewatch? :)

Edited to add:

Okay, I went and rewatched...the things I do for this show.  It was kind of in the middle, but more what Jellybeans said. Derek asked for advice on how to get along with Heather.  Her mom said chocolate chocolate chocolate.  Heather said something along the lines of "you don't know me", and her mother then said wine, wine wine.  And then Heather left to go to the bathroom.

Watching it again made me look at a couple of things.   Heather is already kind of checked out--she really is not trying as far as her appearance.  If she is wearing makeup it is really light, her clothes are kind of unkempt and it looks like she didn't even bother with her hair.  How I missed this the first time around I don't know, but she was, I think, already checked out of the marriage.  She just needed an excuse to bail, which she began looking for as soon as she could.

As to this:

Quote

Was it a sore subject or did Heather have to go to the bathroom right that second?  

From her mom's facial expression I think she realized she ticked Heather off.  She seems to have a "why the heck did I say that?" look on her face.

If anybody else wants to watch the Heather Derek brunch is about 24 minutes in on the Honeymoons Part One episode on FYI.

One more comment, do Heather and Derek have no friends?  The other couples had to have huge tables to fit everybody, but they just had her parents and his mother at the brunch.  Surely they had other people at their wedding (no way am I going to look at that video again though!)

Edited August 19, 2016 by henrysmom

[Jellybeans]

Thank you for taking one for the team!  

Hmm. Wine. 

[Kiss my mutt]

So, is the Section 8 yacht club for low income yachties?  

[Jack Sampson]

32 minutes ago, henrysmom said:

Me either.  Anybody want to take one for the team and rewatch? :)

Edited to add:

Okay, I went and rewatched...the things I do for this show.  It was kind of in the middle, but more what Jellybeans said. Derek asked for advice on how to get along with Heather.  Her mom said chocolate chocolate chocolate.  Heather said something along the lines of "you don't know me", and her mother then said wine, wine wine.  And then Heather left to go to the bathroom.

She sounded more playful than it reads. 

[Jack Sampson]

7 minutes ago, Kiss my mutt said:

So, is the Section 8 yacht club for low income yachties?  

Near as I can tell, it's strictly a clothing line...for poor people who want to go to a yacht club.  Even suggests that on their website.

Quote

Section 8 Yacht Club is more than a clothing company; it is a philosophy of life.  It is about the age-old desire in the heart of a man without means, to try as best he can to joyfully live the lifestyle of one who has the means. The concept to create a company based on that philosophy was birthed in the mind of Ryan Jones in 2015.  He believed that the world needs a different kind of yacht club -- one for the not-so-rich-and famous, and he created one to fill that need.  The S8YC, will eliminate the exclusivity of the typical yacht club; everyone is welcome here; rules will be non-existent; no annual dues will be due; and a "party-on" atmosphere will prevail!  Your membership is approved! We welcome you aboard, Mate!    - "Keep Your Ship Together"

Their promo video consists of moderately hot trashy girls drinking on the beach.   

[Evil Queen]

Nevermind nothing to see here. 

Edited August 19, 2016 by Evil Queen
Sorry moody day

[Snarklepuss]

2 hours ago, Palomar said:

Whether it is pot or cigarettes...Heather should never have told him she was OK with it and she should have said it was a deal breaker on her "application".  How would he know otherwise since she did say it was OK.  He did seemed stunned on her outburst.  Why couldn't she have said she was concerned about his smoking rather than attacking him? 

I have more sympathy for Heather in that situation than Derek for sure.  Dude has to be pretty self absorbed and clueless not to be concerned that perhaps his new bride might not be loving his smoking or if he's really not catching on to that, something else about him.  He said he didn't know why she was acting so distant from him, etc.  Well, duh, if he thought she was being so distant why didn't HE ask HER what was wrong?  She's the one upset about it, I would think he would be the one in a better emotional position to be concerned about HER and her feelings, especially if he thinks it is about him in some way.  His reaction to her in that clip in this episode told me that he never did that AT ALL and took nothing but a reactive, defensive stance.  I don't know why the onus is on Heather to approach him when he had just as much reason to approach her.

Plus, I think we were seeing stuff out of context in this episode.  I am sure there's a LOT more to their interaction than we saw.  If it is true that it's pot they're talking about the show may have had to choose footage that didn't "out" him on that.  Plus I can only imagine how she must have felt if that were the case.  She might have wanted to be quiet about it at first, thinking, "OK he's doing it again, I won't say anything, it's still not that much, let's see how it goes" until he kept doing it to the point when she realized "enough is enough, this guy's a total user".  I'm sure there was a "straw that breaks the camel's back" moment after which she said to herself, "This is way more than casual or occasional usage".  He went over the line for her.  By that time she was angry and all pent up about it because it had built up gradually as he continued to smoke and she continued to give him the benefit of the doubt.  And I don't blame her for being angry.  She didn't ask for a regular user.  In fact it was a BIG deal breaker for her.  Plus his defensive, childish attitude about it probably only angered and upset her even more.  She just MARRIED this guy with high hopes and here was a big deal breaker - of course the devastation of feeling like it's all for naught had to be a terrible blow.  Heather had a lot invested in this only to have her hopes demolished in only a few days.  Concern would be easy for someone detached from the situation but not someone who just risked pretty much everything on a marriage to the guy.  So that's my explanation about why it came out as anger and not concern. 

Edited August 19, 2016 by Snarklepuss

[izabella]

4 minutes ago, Snarklepuss said:

Well, duh, if he thought she was being so distant why didn't HE ask HER what was wrong? 

I'm confused.  He DID ask her.  That's when she blew up at him.

[ctbabe]

1 minute ago, izabella said:

I'm confused.  He DID ask her.  That's when she blew up at him.

YES, he asked her. BTW Why should she be waiting for him to ask her before expressing herself? Is she a baby? Ughhhh

[Snarklepuss]

3 minutes ago, ctbabe said:

YES, he asked her. BTW Why should she be waiting for him to ask her before expressing herself? Is she a baby? Ughhhh

Again, I think we're seeing stuff out of context there.  I really doubt she just came at him like that out of nowhere.  He may have asked her that after they had already had a fight about it and she was obviously upset.  They had to pick footage that wasn't going to mention the "p" word so I think it probably wasn't the first time it was mentioned.  Plus why wouldn't she be all self absorbed with her feelings if she just took the biggest risk of her life and feels like some pothead or whatever she thinks he is has totally let her down?  I don't get it.  The thing is he's the one who's not that upset and yet he still found a way to act like a child.  I don't blame Heather for not acting completely rational when she's basically devastated.

[Liberty]

Quote

Section 8 Yacht Club is more than a clothing company; it is a philosophy of life.

So wonder what their connection to MAFS is?

Last season in Atlanta, David/Stashley's landlord had a connection with poser Schwartz.

On 'the First Year' they gave Neph's t-shirt company a pretty good push. 

With as many logos as they blur, these guys are either paying or well connected to production.

(Surprised Jessica Castro wasn't cast in the company's promotional video)

Edited August 19, 2016 by Liberty

[Snarklepuss]

2 hours ago, izabella said:

All Heather would have had to have done was say something like, "I'd like to understand your smoking habit better because you are smoking more than I expected.  How often and when do you smoke?  I'm concerned that it is always a daily thing, which would be a problem for me.  Could we talk about this?"

That opens the door to discussion, and to a request that he stop smoking or only smoke once a week, or whatever she thinks is acceptable.  But she blew up about it, and that usually shuts down productive discussions of anything because it puts the other person on the defensive right off the bat.

I don't think it matters how much he smokes in front of her - It matters to Heather that he smokes AT ALL.  So what difference would it make whether he does it in front of her or somewhere else if she knows he's doing it SOMEWHERE?  And I don't think you can get a guy to change for you.  Heather probably realizes that and knows asking him would be futile anyway.

I personally think she blew up about it because of stuff we didn't see go on between them that would have explained it.  Plus I can't blame her for being angry at him when she sees the issue as him misrepresenting himself.  That would piss me off too.  No amount of talking or reasoning would help me get over THAT.  Right away I would be thinking the worst about a guy for doing that and give him a piece of my mind for it.  Even if he didn't intend to misrepresent himself he's still doing the behavior more than he thinks he is, which to me would feel like cluelessness and a lack of self awareness.  Which BTW, would piss me off too!

Edited August 19, 2016 by Snarklepuss

[Jack Sampson]

4 minutes ago, Liberty said:

So wonder what their connection to MAFS is?

Last season in Atlanta, David/Stashley's landlord had a connection with poser Schwartz.

On 'the First Year' they gave Neph's t-shirt company a pretty good push. 

With as many logos as they blur, these guys are either paying or well connected to production.

(Surprised Jessica Castro wasn't cast in the company's promotional video)

She's about a decade too old for the Florida party scene.

[izabella]

4 minutes ago, Snarklepuss said:

I don't think it matters how much he smokes in front of her - It matters to Heather that he smokes AT ALL.  So what difference would it make whether he does it in front of her or somewhere else if she knows he's doing it SOMEWHERE?  And I don't think you can get a guy to change for you.  Heather probably realizes that and knows asking him would be futile anyway.

I think "how much" does matter to Heather.  Because he asked her if it was ok if he smoked, and she said it was.  Then she said she got upset becasue it turned out to be "too often" for her, every day.

[Snarklepuss]

1 minute ago, izabella said:

I think "how much" does matter to Heather.  Because he asked her if it was ok if he smoked, and she said it was.  Then she said she got upset becasue it turned out to be "too often" for her, every day.

I think if it had been a much rarer event she wouldn't have seen him as a "user" and this would not be an issue at all.  It doesn't matter where or how often he does it if she already has him lumped in that category.  She will still see him as a "user" no matter how little he does it.  She will know it's only being done to appease her, not because it's who he is.

[ctbabe]

3 minutes ago, Snarklepuss said:

I think if it had been a much rarer event she wouldn't have seen him as a "user" and this would not be an issue at all.  It doesn't matter where or how often he does it if she already has him lumped in that category.  She will still see him as a "user" no matter how little he does it.  She will know it's only being done to appease her, not because it's who he is.

Summary: He really can't win. It's technically over.

[Momof3]

Sorry if this repeats a previous post-but it just occurred to me that it seems like he is smoking weed bc the producers want it to look like he's smoking weed. Maybe my attorney brain cannot process such recklessness at doing illegal drugs on camera (basically) let alone trafficking them onto a plane. Weed and the bus are most of what we are talking about after all......