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Josh & Anna Smuggar: A Series of Unfortunate Events

maraleia

By maraleia
in Counting On

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hoosier80
hoosier80

New show title: 10 to 20 Years and Counting 

MargeGunderson
MargeGunderson

Someone on Reddit just described Josh’s face as a glistening glazed ham. I am considering divorcing my husband and marrying that poster. 

doodlebug
doodlebug

Well, for many of us, it's the difference between 'imperfect' and 'non-PC' and being a criminal.  Josh is a child molester and his parents actively intervened in his situation to avoid him being punis

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Aja

Aja

(edited)

They did! THOSE ASSHOLES! I hope that comment enjoyed its brief but spectacular reign over the entire internet. ETA: I have been concentrating really hard for the past ten minutes and I still have no idea what the hell this guy is saying.

Edited by Aja
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sometimesy

sometimesy

They did! THOSE ASSHOLES! I hope that comment enjoyed its brief but spectacular reign over the entire internet. ETA: I have been concentrating really hard for the past ten minutes and I still have no idea what the hell this guy is saying.

 

bondage bondage bondage bondage.. Josh is like mmmmmmmm bondage

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Anne Elk

Anne Elk

I'll bet Josh has sat through many a boring church service in his day.

 

I grew up Catholic, I'm not used to church services being all "Let's have somebody drone for a while about how Jesus provided a new carpet for the rec room back in Pocatello."

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Liz Tudor

Liz Tudor

Y'all, I am in TEARS reading this!!! Sweet merciful crap! I might have to tune in next week! I just had to give Mr. Tudor a compressed 5 minute history of The Latest Duggar Mess so I could share why I'm guffawing over the iPad. He's cracking up, too. I'm all, "See, SEE, why this is the most awesome forum on the Interwebs!!!" Rock on and resume your rehab reports!

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Aja

Aja

bondage bondage bondage bondage.. Josh is like mmmmmmmm bondage

Truth truth truth light light light darkness recover truth I am truth I am truth does that make sense truth light light darkness no light no light sin is no light darkness Jesus truth truth light light light

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Aja

Aja

I tuned out a few minutes ago to giggle over comments and he was talking about stumbling. I just tuned back in and he's still talking about stumbling. OK, I'm going to transcribe the next sentence I can catch, he's talking batshit fast. "So what I'm talking about is the ability to have light versus darkness inside and some people would say you have to follow your heart you know what i'm saying NO NO NO NO JUST BECAUSE YOU THINK THAT'S THE WAY TO GO DOESN'T MEAN YOU'RE THE EPITOME OF TRUTH NO God determines that TRUTH determines that JESUS CHRIST determines that and WANTS TO BRING IT TO YOU SO YOU CAN STOP STUMBLING!" Omg this therapy seems GREAT.

 

ETA: He just made a reference to Wal-Mart

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cheatincheetos

cheatincheetos

(edited)

bondage bondage bondage bondage.. Josh is like mmmmmmmm bondage

HighAnxiety__1977.jpg

"I know you better than you know yourself. You live for bondage...and discipline!"

*spank spank spank spank*

 

(Nurse Diesel, in High Anxiety)

Edited by cheatincheetos
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Celia Rubenstein

Celia Rubenstein

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(edited)

Josh has to sit through SIX MONTHS of this. Damn, I bet if he had known this would be his punishment,  he'd have kept his pants on. 

 

No poontang is worth this.


Oh my, the preacher just asked if it was "warm in here" because he could see people falling asleep.  

 

Yeah, dude, it's the temperature.  Keep telling yourself that.

Edited by Celia Rubenstein
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Aja

Aja

So far the only practical advice I've heard is that sin has power and that power is deceit so and Jesus says "I am TRUTH. I'm TRUTH." What's the opposite of deceit? Does that make sense? This is going to help you listen. You have to combat deceit with truth. You have to saturate your life with the person of truth. To understand how to combat against the deceit of sin we have to be saturated with truth, does that make sense? 

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cheatincheetos

cheatincheetos

So far the only practical advice I've heard is that sin has power and that power is deceit so and Jesus says "I am TRUTH. I'm TRUTH." What's the opposite of deceit? Does that make sense? This is going to help you listen. You have to combat deceit with truth. You have to saturate your life with the person of truth. To understand how to combat against the deceit of sin we have to be saturated with truth, does that make sense? 

Gotta work some repetition in to fill that much time every week.

Does that altar say "TALK, TALK, TALK"??? Sounds like self-mockery.

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Micks Picks

Micks Picks

I need a handyman *(get your minds out of the gutter, group) a real one and the one I know and trust is a fundy.  I've been holding off calling because I don't want the preaching.  You can see why, I'm sure.  Guess I'll tell him I'll pay less if he lectures.  I remember him from a few years ago, and OMG, honest and nice, but please, no preaching.  I'm catholic too, so this stuff sends me to sleep.  It would cure my insomnia in a second.  We Catholics expected to be in and out of mass on Sunday in 50 min, including communion, reading from the bible, the works.  Thank you powers that be that I was not born fundy!

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whydoiwatch

whydoiwatch

(edited)

Josh and the other "sinners" should plan a great escape and be out of that crazy place by daybreak. WHO would sign up for this shit?

 

ETA: I am no Josh fan (quite the opposite, actually), but this is awful

Edited by whydoiwatch
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whirlygirly

whirlygirly

I don't see how Anna can win....she's either a hypocrite because she divorces Josh or is a fool for staying with him. Is there a third option for her?

Yes. She could leave and legally separate from him but not actually file for divorce. That would keep all of her options open for the future while giving her some time and space to figure out what she really wants.

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cheatincheetos

cheatincheetos

I need a handyman *(get your minds out of the gutter, group) a real one and the one I know and trust is a fundy.  I've been holding off calling because I don't want the preaching.

Let me guess, he drives a minivan with a big fish symbol on it.

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3girlsforus

3girlsforus

I need a handyman *(get your minds out of the gutter, group) a real one and the one I know and trust is a fundy.  I've been holding off calling because I don't want the preaching.  You can see why, I'm sure.  Guess I'll tell him I'll pay less if he lectures.  I remember him from a few years ago, and OMG, honest and nice, but please, no preaching.  I'm catholic too, so this stuff sends me to sleep.  It would cure my insomnia in a second.  We Catholics expected to be in and out of mass on Sunday in 50 min, including communion, reading from the bible, the works.  Thank you powers that be that I was not born fundy!

 

This amuses me because I am a non-denominational protestant and we are in and out in 45 minutes. I've only been to a Catholic service a few times and they was over  90 minutes so I was rejoicing not to be Catholic LOL. Then I went to a Catholic wedding... there was a reason the bride and groom had chairs. Wow that was long.

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3girlsforus

3girlsforus

(edited)

Yes. She could leave and legally separate from him but not actually file for divorce. That would keep all of her options open for the future while giving her some time and space to figure out what she really wants.

 

I think this would be her best option especially with Josh being at Brainwash Camp for 6 months. I don't think she's in an emotional position to make a life changing decision like divorce right now. Her world and her belief system have been shattered. She's 6 weeks postpartum, sleep deprived, and hormonal. She's being pushed from every side. She needs to take some time. Figure out what to do and how to go about doing it. 

Edited by 3girlsforus
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sleekandchic

sleekandchic

Seriously, this program will do nothing for Josh. It's a tragic waste of time, energy and money.

God, if he wants to be single and sexually free and promiscuous, this RU blather will not change his urges one bit.

It MAY drive him to drink, meth and heroin, which I'm sure are easily accessible at RU on any given day.

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Micks Picks

Micks Picks

A 90 min mass?  You must have gone to high mass.  Got to learn to check the schedule, dearie.  Don't ever go to one of those or to and orthodox or coptic mass that can continue for infinity I guess, since I left after a nice long nap.

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SomePity1066

SomePity1066

Let me guess, he drives a minivan with a big fish symbol on it.

 

"You stole my Jesus fish, didn't you... ?"

                                                                  - David Puddy to Elaine Benes

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CofCinci

CofCinci

A 90 min mass? You must have gone to high mass. Got to learn to check the schedule, dearie. Don't ever go to one of those or to and orthodox or coptic mass that can continue for infinity I guess, since I left after a nice long nap.

It was 120 minutes+.
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LilyoftheValley

LilyoftheValley

Dear God in heaven, but I just watched some shite off that RU website.  Their head guy is really uninspiring.  His message is basically that is something is wrong, then we don't do it.  Yeah Josh knew all the things he was doing were wrong, he just didn't give a damn.  Are there any stats about how well this program actually works? 

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whirlygirly

whirlygirly

On the Jessa thread, I posted that she would be my least favourite option to write the tell-all, but I would take it. It NEEDS to be written (real details, not JB approved book). I think Jessa would do it for fame and money. Josh for the same reasons. Now that I think about it, ANNA would be my least favourite.

Joy would be my #1 choice for a tell-all. Jana would probably be my 2nd choice. But I'd totally read one by any of the kids, Anna included.

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cheatincheetos

cheatincheetos

(edited)

Josh and the other "sinners" should plan a great escape and be out of that crazy place by daybreak. WHO would sign up for this shit?

 

ETA: I am no Josh fan (quite the opposite, actually), but this is awful

Slosh would sit about while everyone else shoveled and passed back the bucketfuls of dirt.

"DO YOU KNOW WHO MY FATHER IS?!?"

Edited by cheatincheetos
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LilyoftheValley

LilyoftheValley

I have a question for people who grew up in fundie households (there are a few here): did you ever actually respond well to someone essentially yelling at you about how to be a good person?  I simply cannot stand it.  I never get a message which is yelled at me with faux intensity.  I know we joke about TFDM, but at least his sermons are calm and dignified.  I am wondering if Josh might actually respond well if someone spoke to him in a calm, respectful, non-judgmental and non-authoritative tone.  Oh well, I guess he will never know.  

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Micks Picks

Micks Picks

(edited)

I'm giving myself away here but been thinking about that handyman and I think he must have done IBLP or something close to it.  He is self-employed, very strict with his kids, very in charge, always brings it back to Jesus.  Yes, I dealt with him prior to knowledge gained here  the last couple of years.  But I bet Josh's life was as under control as this guy's sons were.  Yet the kids seemed to love and respect him, as Josh does his dad.  Still, something is going to bite back, it just has to.  And the cure is always to give them more of whatever make them go nuts in the first place.  I mean, you can always get handymen, and I have, but I'm back to this one again.  But man, their poor kids.

Edited by Micks Picks
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Aja

Aja

CofCinci posted "Needs more cowbell" during a hymn. I AM DYING.

I know I'm quoting myself and that's weird but this is seriously the funniest thing that has happened to me in a long time. I am STILL peeing myself over it. 

 

I've processed what I heard. Essentially, from what I understand, they believe…quite literally…that Josh did all of the things he did because he quit saying his prayers every day. LITERALLY. The guy I listened to, the one with the oddly-shaped head, was banging on and on and on and on and on about how sin is darkness and Jesus is light and sin is deceit and Jesus is truth and truth is light and stumbling and darkness and darkness is combatted with light and there seemed to be no point whatsoever until the very end when he essentially said "…and that is why you should say your prayers every day." 

 

Oh Anna.

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Cherrio

Cherrio

Josh will have a psychotic break, find a bikini from the off limits women's clothing room and be captured by paps mowing the lawn at RU.

 

 Thank you to all the brave fellowshipper's tonight for watching and reporting back.

 I will pay you back in December in a cold parking lots with a melted root beer float made by Josie.

 

 Jim Bob is holed up at the TTH huffing on hair spray. Won't be long before he is wearing a speedo (extra small) mowing too.   

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