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Favorite Quotes: Oh, I'd wear clown makeup if I thought it'd get me a conviction.

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Here are some of my favorite quotes across the seasons.  I know there are plenty more.  So much is in the delivery, but I can hear them in my head, with character voice, as if I just watched them.  I

Adam: Yes, well, that's all very interesting...and useless at trial


Lennie: My idea of fusion is hamburger meets French fries.


Claire: We can't arrest him.
Jack: I'm a DA. I can arrest anybody I want.


CSI: "Last time we sifted a dumpster, the Investigating Officer got in here himself."
Briscoe: "That's facinating. I think you missed a spot over there."


TV Anchor: Police are close to an arrest.
Lennie: We are? That's great!


And my favorite - Jack to Danielle Melnick "Who the hell cares what you think anyway!"

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Ooooh! I love this! Thanks for starting it up aquarian!

Though I loathe her beyond contempt, I do get a giggle in "Helpless" when Melnick gets in Ben's face about how they were able to arrest that rapist doctor.  I forget how it starts, but then she says "...starts with E and ends with T and I don't mean entertainment."

Here are two just off the top of my head, because, well, you already took the first one for the title of this thread, hee. They are:

"Indifference"- When Adam asks Ben what about the case bothers him the most:

Ben: "My own rage."

Adam: "What do your guts tell you?"

Ben: "Put them both in a dungeon. Put them both on a wheel and annihilate them."

"In the Half Light"- with Paul and Congressman Eaton:

"King (Martin Luther, King, Jr) walked with the Angels, you just slither and slime on your belly."

From the same episode at the end:

Ben: "Do you think of yourself as a Black lawyer or a lawyer who's Black?"

Have to get back to work now, but will have more later! Some really GOOD ones from "Life Choice."

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I can't remember the exact episode, but the episode where C-Square is on trial always cracks me up, all for Stone saying "Mr C-Square" while cross-examining him.


And my favorite Adam line will always be:

Claire: Did you hear about this?

Adam: No, but I'm sure you're about to give me a thorough synopsis.

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Yes, Ben said it to Adam, in Season Four's "Sweeps."


I've seen the episode, didn't remember the quote though.  I believe you, of course, but I do think it sounds more like a Jack quote than a Ben quote.

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Lennie - "If I was kiddin' you, I'd be wearing a fez and no pants."

'Nuff said. :D

Oh Lennie. I could have a thread just for Lennie quotes. Here's another favorite: Lennie, while trying to explaine to a potential witness why he doesn't care that the guy took part in looting during a riot; "We're homicide police. And see your friend there? He's homiciding somebody."

And just to start off the amazing Abby quotes, when Jack tries to get her a salad for dinner; "I'll eat, you graze."

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How could I wait this long to throw in two of my favorites (from the same ep- Life Choice)

Ben: Objection, this case is being judged on the temporal plane, your honor.

Adam: Look at us: 3 men. Talking about what rights women should have over their own bodies. Now doesn’t that strike you as a little one-sided?

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Ben Stone (after an IRA terrorist asked him how he ended up with an English name when he looks so Irish): "Same way you ended up with the name if a true Irishman. Happenstance Sir."

I always loved the way Stone could make "Sir" sound like "motherfucking asshole" when he was in the right mood.

Edited by FozzyBear
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I always loved the way Stone could make "Sir" sound like "motherfucking asshole" when he was in the right mood.



I wish there were more ways to like this comment.  It's taking all my strength not to name every instance of this, but I'll at least leave my favorite:


"And in polite society, Sir, you don't call people by their first name unless they ask you to - I didn't do that. You're not a friend, and you're certainly not a colleague."  There are so many times where Stone would say something and I mentally add him dropping a mic.

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McCoy: "How long has the incest gone on?"


Skoda: "Since his teens. His mother forced a sexual relationship to control him."


Abbie: "And it's still going on?"


Skoda: "Yep."


Abbie: "Yuuuck." Cringing with disgust, which makes me laugh, even though I shouldn't. Hee.




And what the hell was that caterpillar Skoda had over his upper lip since episode two in Season 9? He was clean shaven in the premiere!  So glad he got rid of it!

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I loved Liz Olivet, but I also liked Skoda. He also crossed over to CI once for S1's "Crazy" where poor Steven Keaton of Family Ties [Michael Gross] became a killer shrink to get a woman. It was brief, but it was nice to see him. (I guess putting up with Alex pushed Steven over the edge. LOL!)


Mothership-wise, at least he still popped up now and again. I noticed in its infancy that on L&O, the shrinks (well, basically Olivet, not that I minded) got a lot more airplay where some cases were concerned. That seemed to wane some as seasons progressed.

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McCoy: "I don't have to tell you that you'll be missed."


Abbie: "No, you don't...but I'd still like to hear it."


"Deep Vote", Abbie's final appearance.  I expected her to go out with a bigger bang. But, I won't complain too much, because at least they didn't kill her off.  But it would have been nice to see her come back, since she was just upstairs or across the street. Ah well...

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My husband wooed me (seriously!) with his spot-on Michael Moriarty impression, memorizing Ben Stone's closing argument from "Kids." (S04E15). It concluded with this wonderful line: "And though justice must be tempered with mercy, it must never lose its sense of retribution or it is no longer justice."


McCoy and Ross and the last two lines of "Passion" (S07E21), summing up the relationship between a successful writer and the woman obsessed with him, to the point where her son kills for her.


McCoy: "Thanks for ruining my life."

Ross: "Please take me back."


And because it can never be said enough, McCoy's line to taunt Eddie Newman from "Showtime" (S7E17) always cracks me up with its absurdity:

"A daring neo-realist foray into Jellystone Park."

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McCoy and Ross and the last two lines of "Passion" (S07E21), summing up the relationship between a successful writer and the woman obsessed with him, to the point where her son kills for her.


McCoy: "Thanks for ruining my life."

Ross: "Please take me back."


Funny, I just watched that episode on Netflix about a week ago. I know the son was a killer for his deadbeat mother (well, she IS!), but I still felt sorry for him. His "mother" was content to leave him at boarding school forever as long as she could have her lover who hates kids. They were both reprehensible and deserved each other. No, not because the author hated kids but just because he had a smarmy attitude and I wanted to punch him in the face repeatedly.



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I know the son was a killer for his deadbeat mother (well, she IS!), but I still felt sorry for him.


Oh, I absolutely believe we were supposed to, WendyCR72! He spent his holidays with foreign students! And they cast a baby-faced enough actor that you could just see his logic: if the mistress was out of the way, then my mom would be happy again.


Season 7 was the year they won their Emmy, and I think it really was a fantastic year. The actors in this episode were so well-cast, I actually felt slightly sorry for all of them at one point (personally I thought Evans was a jerk, but when I could see him being railroaded for murder, I didn't actively wish for his demise).

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Briscoe (to mother of young delinquent): “Doesn’t this worry you? Drugs, booze, condoms; she had the whole James Dean fun pack with her.”


McCoy: “I’ve heard warmer mother/daughter conversations on the nature channel.”


Logan: “My old lady had a rosary in her left hand while she beat the crap out of me with her right. Next time I go to church, six of my closest buddies will be carrying me.”

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Two beauts from "The Pursuit of Happiness":


Judge Quinn (trial judge) to smarmy defense attorney Tom what'shisface, played by the smarmy Bruce Altman:


"Off the record please. (to stenographer) I can't prove this Tom, but I think you're lying."


Tom: "Your Honor, really--"


Judge Quinn: "Don't play dumb with me, you didn't want Ben to know where you were going.  I'll let you have your witness. One of these days you'll get caught; You're gonna get disbarred, and I'll be there to applaud."


Me: Oh SNAP!


The next scene, between Tom what'shisface and Stone:


Stone: "A Chinese guy could blow you away and get off scott-free because of cross-racial identification.  And that's the most comforting thought I've had all day."

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Guess I should have waited until I saw "Breeder" last night when I posted the quotes above, because the following by Stone? Further proof that he was the BEST, at least to me! I still lament that Moriarty went Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs in real life. I miss him.


This, after that heinous bitch of Debra Elkins, during the plea talks, calls her boyfriend/father of the baby she sold, Stupid...and he, Steven Shaw, says she is "Such a BITCH" and starts talking...and then this:


Stone: "Ms. Elkins, apparently Stupid is not willing to go to prison for you."


And Shaw says how Elkins played everyone, raising her price, between contractions.

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From the first episode that aired, "Prescription for Death," comes this gem that always makes me laugh:


Smarmy defense attorney trying to get his drunk doctor client acquitted for killing a patient: Isn't it possible that pneumonia killed Suzanne Morton?

Medical Examiner:  It's possible that death rays from Mars killed her, but I don't think so.

Edited by wallflower75
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Can't remember the ep title but it's first season, based on the Mayflower Madam. Ben is along when they search her apartment. Opens a trunk, pulls out a whip:

Madam: it's my hope chest

Ben: What are you hoping for?

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Have caught a few Jamie Ross-era episodes lately and they're better than I'd remembered. I really like Jamie's dry sense of humor. A favorite exchange from a recent episode -


Opposing counsel: "I got bent over a chair by Ms. Ross before, now I've got another tingling sensation in my butt. Why is that?"

Jamie: "Wishful thinking?"

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From "Rebels"


After leaving a group of bikers surrounding Lennie and Rey when Rey pulls a gun on a biker


Rey: You don't get any respect unless you kick a little ass


Lennie: Oh, I would've respected the hell out of them if they kicked our asses.


Jerry Orbach could nail those one liners every time.

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My all time favorite line from "Bitter Fruit" when the mother that hired a criminal to kidnap her daughter (who wound up killing her) to get back at her goes on a long self-pitying, self-justifying rant blaming everybody else for her own crime, ending with:

"I loved her!"

Jack: "You hated your husband more."

The contempt in Jack's voice was just perfect.

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McCoy: "I didn't know what you wanted, so I brought you salad with low-cal dressing."


Abbie: "Low-cal? I burn it, I don't store it. What did you get?"


 McCoy: "Ribs."


 Abbie: "Great. I'll eat, you graze."


And then I fell in love.


I preferred Claire, but I did love that! Yes, salad is good for the figure and healthy, and I do eat it. BUT I also love my ribs, steak, and burgers, etc. and am not the least bit sorry about it.  So it was nice to see a female character on the same wavelength there.  :-)

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I preferred Claire, but I did love that! Yes, salad is good for the figure and healthy, and I do eat it. BUT I also love my ribs, steak, and burgers, etc. and am not the least bit sorry about it. So it was nice to see a female character on the same wavelength there. :-)

Abbie was supposed to have been from, like, Houston or Dallas, Texas, right? If so, it wasn't such a huge surprise she'd have chosen the meat over the salad, whether or not she was a female. I took the choice as a "I'm from Texas" thing (they're a big cattle farming state) as much as a "I may be a girl, but I'm not always/not into counting calories" thing.

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Lennie, trying to convince a crackhead to give up some information about a suspect.


Lennie: I look at you, and I see possession with intent to distribute.

Crackhead: But you didn't even search me!

Lennie: Hey, I've got x-ray eyes, man! But if you tell me something about Drew Washington, maybe I'd go blind.

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I love this quote from Anita & Lennie I think it's cute.

Lennie: So what's it been for you and me... 11 years?

Anita: Something like that.

Lennie: It's the longest I was ever with any woman.

Anita: Now that's pitiful.

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Abbie Carmichael isn't my fave, but she did have her moments. I swear, I watch Panic just for the moment when she informs Jack and Adam of the defendant, Dean Tyler's intention to use gay panic as a defense for the attrmpted murder of his wife's lover.

Abbie (smirking sarcastically): Put the hogs back in the pen. Dean Tyler's proposed defense - and it's a beaut.

Just the way Angie Harmon says the word "beaut" cracks me up. Every. Single. Time.

Edited by Gillian Rosh
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I always laugh at this scene. Dzundza is just so very good and funny.


Jolene (Hooker): "You said you weren't a cop."


Greevey: (looks up from typing report) "I lied."


Jolene: "Isn't there some legal thing about that?"


Greevey: "What, lying? I'm allowed to lie. They pay me to lie."


Season One: "By Hooker, By Crook"

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Schiff: "You sure you don't want to recuse yourself?"


Stone: "Well that's insulting. I'm personally against abortion means I can't prosecute a bomber? What I believe doesn't matter.  I represent the law."


Schiff: "Amazing.  I'm getting angry.  The most emotional issue that the law has dealt with since sufferage.  Look at us-Three men! Talking about what right women should have over their own bodies."


"Life Choice"

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Babcock, the arsehole: "Now let me reiterate this, gentleman. Ms. Perez is prone to excitability. It's a cultural thing. Instead of running off half cocked to call the police, she should have followed the school district's guidelines."

Max: "Which are?"

Babcock: "Which are to report her suspicions to the school nurse. If the nurse finds evidence of abuse, she comes to me. If I find the situation warrants it, I'll notify the department of juvenile services."

Mike: "By which time, the kid's in a coma. Those are some guidelines."

Babcock: "Why don't you stick to police work, detective?"

Mike: "Why don't you stop trying to cover your ass, Mr. Babcock?"

Max: "Mike! Mike! Take it easy. He's never recovered from the nuns. A cultural thing. Now Doc, let me tell you about our guidelines, okay? When someone, anyone, even a high strung Puerrrto Rican lady--comprende?-- thinks a child is being beaten, that person is supposed to report it to the authorities. And if the authorities don't act, they leave themselves open... to all sorts of repercussions. Am I making sense to you?"

Babock: "I, uhh..."

Max: "Did Miss Perez ever tell you that Didi Lowenstein might be an abused child?"

Babcock: "Yes, she did."

Max: "When?"

Babcock: "Several times, beginning in September."

Mike: "Did you do anything about it?"

Babcock: "Of course! I notified juvenile services."

Max: "Oh? Then why all this hush-hush routine?"

Babcock: "Because these days there's always a danger of a witch hunt. It could destroy the reputations of the parents. We have to be very circumspect about these accusations."

Max: "Sure, I understand. Luckily, we don't."


Max: "You think she beat the kid up?"

Mike: "I don't know. I know she's nuts. The way she lay there, primping herself. You know, it just made me want to puke."

Maxi: "She has been slapped around pretty good. I'm not so sure she's to blame."

Mike: "There are some women who provoke it. Come on, it's true. You think she cares diddley about those kids or anything else, huh? Everything is a mirror to her. She holds a dying kid up to it, and all she can see is herself and how it affects her. And you give her sympathy, she's going to want to fight. You give her a fight, she's going to want a kiss, you give her a kiss, and I swear to God, she'll bite your tongue out."

Max: "You, umm...saw this on Oprah or what?"

Mike (laughs bitterly): "My mother. Yeah. She alway said she was cut out for something greater than being the wife of a cop from the Lower East Side. God, she was...she was a bottomless pit. I mean it was always 'Give me your UNDIVIDED attention.' But when the Old Man couldn't take it anymore, he gave her a whack, then she'd turn around and whack me. Heh, heh. She'd always get this look in her eye, you know, and then I saw it coming. Now this witch, in here, she's got that same look."

Guess which episode?

Edited by GHScorpiosRule
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I doubt any of the same writers from the Mothership were on L&O: CI (but who knows), but I do like that they tried to keep things consistent where Logan was concerned.


I remember in S5 of CI, when Barek and he were going through the suitcases of some of the teenaged boys in "In The Wee Small Hours" and she said, "What kind of a mother would pack suitcases with no pants?" and Logan responded, "Besides mine?" and Barek gave him a strange look.


A lot more subtle, but that anger still seemed to bubble. Funny how both male leads on CI had the Mommy issues up the wazoo.

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But Mike's mommy issues didn't take over the show as Bobby's sometimes did, which is why I will always prefer the mothership over the other franchises, and Michael in particular.


True, but to be fair to CI and SVU, they seemed much more about the characters whereas the Mothership was more about procedure, so Mothership characterization wasn't as focal. (Not saying that's bad, but the construct of the Mothership versus its spinoffs was apples and oranges.)

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