Commercials That Annoy, Irritate or Outright Enrage

[Amethyst]

Wow - just wow.  I literally had thought I was the only person who thought that those yogurts all tasted the same, which was gross.  I would always buy them because they were like 80 calories or something, and they had the picture on the front, and then I would really really try to convince my mind that I was eating Boston Cream Pie, or apple turnover.  At some point I just gave up, sucked up the extra 50-60 calories and started buying Chobani.

 

LOL!  No, you're not alone in that one.  I suspect quite a few people have been deceived with that yogurt.  I was always thinking "This one will be better, right?"  It never was.  I'll take Chobani or even Dannon over that crap.  

[ramble]

@AntiBeeSpray I watched the Payday commercial & I'm with you, what the crap? The blurring of the non-existent privates is just odd. Stripped of chocolate? Is there a candy bar like a Payday that is covered in chocolate. That's just weird all around.

[Muffyn]

Idiot #1:   "I       know      my      IQ.       And        I         know         my        blood           type."

Idiot #2:   "Wow!"

Idiot #1:  "But        I        don't          know         my       credit score."

 

First, given how stilted your speech is and how hard you seem to be reaching for each word, I'm guessing your IQ is on the low side.   Either that or you've suffered severe head trauma.   Second, given that your friend is so impressed she says "Wow!" I'm betting she's not too sharp either.  

[ikmccall]

@AntiBeeSpray I watched the Payday commercial & I'm with you, what the crap? The blurring of the non-existent privates is just odd. Stripped of chocolate? Is there a candy bar like a Payday that is covered in chocolate. That's just weird all around.

 

Baby Ruth?

[RealityGal]

Idiot #1:   "I       know      my      IQ.       And        I         know         my        blood           type."

Idiot #2:   "Wow!"

Idiot #1:  "But        I        don't          know         my       credit score."

 

First, given how stilted your speech is and how hard you seem to be reaching for each word, I'm guessing your IQ is on the low side.   Either that or you've suffered severe head trauma.   Second, given that your friend is so impressed she says "Wow!" I'm betting she's not too sharp either.  

 

I actually don't know my blood type or my IQ :(  

 

I guess whether they are for Victoria's Secret, or a credit score company all commercials are geared to make me feel like a fat, ugly, moron

[ramble]

Baby Ruth?

Does a Baby Ruth have the faux caramel inside? I'm not a Baby Ruth fan so I don't know. Due to a Halloween party, I do know that if you mix salted peanuts & candy corn together it tastes remarkably like a Payday.

Topic? I saw the Payday ad on TV last night. It wasn't better on the bigger screen. Although I've decided I'm going to be horribly offended that Payday is obviously male, since they didn't blur out the upper bits. Look they're saying only men get pay days. Like women aren't worth getting paid, not even peanuts. That's sexist!

[dubbel zout]

The blurring of the non-existent privates is just odd.

 

We eat that part, Payday people. Do you not realize that? It takes this commercial to a very weird place.

 

 

I actually don't know my blood type or my IQ

 

I know both of those, but I don't know my credit score.

Edited June 17, 2014 by dubbel zout

[Muffyn]

The commercial doesn't bother me so much for what the women know or don't know.  I just hate the way they speak.  It's as if they had five seconds of material and were told to stretch it to a 30 second ad.  The only thing worse than the excessive pauses and stilted speech would be if she added the Anna Duggar aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand between each statement.  Hate.

 

I can now only assume that all Payday bars have a peanut about 2/3 of the way down that protrudes from the bar.  Thanks Payday!  I can do without eating peanut penis.  Or would that be penis peanuts?  Either way, no thanks.  

[AntiBeeSpray]

We eat that part, Payday people. Do you not realize that? It takes this commercial to a very weird place.

 

 

 

I know both of those, but I don't know my credit score.

That would be an understatement O_O.

The commercial doesn't bother me so much for what the women know or don't know.  I just hate the way they speak.  It's as if they had five seconds of material and were told to stretch it to a 30 second ad.  The only thing worse than the excessive pauses and stilted speech would be if she added the Anna Duggar aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand between each statement.  Hate.

 

I can now only assume that all Payday bars have a peanut about 2/3 of the way down that protrudes from the bar.  Thanks Payday!  I can do without eating peanut penis.  Or would that be penis peanuts?  Either way, no thanks.  

 

Same here O_o. Thanks for the nightmares and weird images, Payday...

[potatoradio]

 

Is there a candy bar like a Payday that is covered in chocolate.

There used to be a Chocolate Payday, which was introduced back in the late 80s; don't think it's still around.

 

I am so confused by that commercial. So, it's a male because it has nuts? But clearly it also has some kind of serious genetic malfunction, because it has nuts all over, not just in its naughty bits. So, how does it know which nuts are its, nudge, Nuts? I mean, just too many questions for a candy bar. Just confirms my vow to support local and buy Pearson's nut rolls instead.

 

 

[ABay]

It's clearly genetically modified to have that many nuts all over itself.

Edited June 17, 2014 by ABay

[Aquarius]

It's worse than that.  They're not nuts.  They're legumes.  So maybe the bit that is blurred out really contains the nuts, so to speak.  Eeeeewwwwwwww.

[Rick Kitchen]

There's a Nissan commercial where two guys are about to get into their bright red Nissans which are sitting next to each other in a parking lot at work, but they stare each other down and there's Western shootout music playing.  Then they jump into their cars and race through the streets to get to their houses, which are across the street from each other.

 

If they live across the street from each other, and work in the same building, why don't they carpool?

[ramble]

All this talk of plentiful genetically modified nuts &/or legumes has me feeling a bit dirty as I sit here munching on pistachios. I have to dislodge the green nugget from it's cracked shell & up until now that didn't sound so wrong. Thanks Payday.

[legaleagle53]

There's a Nissan commercial where two guys are about to get into their bright red Nissans which are sitting next to each other in a parking lot at work, but they stare each other down and there's Western shootout music playing.  Then they jump into their cars and race through the streets to get to their houses, which are across the street from each other.

 

If they live across the street from each other, and work in the same building, why don't they carpool?

 

Turn in your Man Card.  Men are competitive by nature, so we're always measuring and comparing our dicks to those of other men (and that's especially true when it comes to our man-toys, particularly our cars!).

 

Or so the stereotype goes, anyway.  The whole point of the commercial is that the guys are constantly competing against each other.  That's why they don't carpool.

Edited June 17, 2014 by legaleagle53

[Cobalt Stargazer]

 

The blurring of the non-existent privates is just odd.

It gets worse. There's a new commercial for some fast food place (I think, I was doing something else when the ad came on) and they show this chicken with the *breasts blurred out*. No, really. What the hell are these ad people smoking?

[Haute-n-Cold]

Seems to me the satellite dish spot (DirecTV? Dish? Can't remember) brings up an issue they'd be better off leaving alone. It's supposedly so much better than cable because "You don't have all those ugly wires"? First thought in my head is, those wires are tucked behind the furniture, which I much prefer over some hideous dish mounted on my house!

[iMonrey]

 

I hate the DentaStix commercials because DOGS WITH HUMAN TEETH. Make it stop! The horror!

 

It seems counter-intuitive, too, because the "human teeth" seem to suggest the dog is wearing dentures, meaning it has already lost all of its teeth and the DentaStix aren't going to do much good at this point.

[janie jones]

Yeah, the human teeth originally were dentures:

 

But that's not what they're saying anymore, because now they make it seem like the human pearly whites are the result of Dentastix:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wb68RBDstH0

 

All I know is, my husband doesn't want me to buy Dentastix anymore, because he blames them for our dog's noxious gas.

Edited June 17, 2014 by janie jones

[Aquarius]

It gets worse. There's a new commercial for some fast food place (I think, I was doing something else when the ad came on) and they show this chicken with the *breasts blurred out*. No, really. What the hell are these ad people smoking?

Ack.  For real.

 

There is a restaurant near me that specializes in Portuguese chicken.  They have a graphic of a chicken with one wing tucked behind her head, legs crossed and winking.  She has long eyelashes.  I always say to my husband that as delicious as their Portuguese chicken might be, I would never go in there, because I really don't want my food coming on to me.

Edited June 18, 2014 by Aquarius

[Prevailing Wind]

Oh, I am SO disappointed in those clips of the DentaStix commercials.  In the first one, when I originally saw it, the voice that comes in with "you're kidding..." was David Duchovny's.  He's got such a recognizable voice and it was even funnier than I think it was supposed to be because the Stix are "X" shaped, like Mulder's Files.  Hahahahaha.

 

I'm working for a vet now, doing data entry of medical records, and it's amazing how many times I have to type "needs dental" - whatever these pets are eating, it's not helping their gums & teeth.

[RealityGal]

Turn in your Man Card.  Men are competitive by nature, so we're always measuring and comparing our dicks to those of other men (and that's especially true when it comes to our man-toys, particularly our cars!).

 

Or so the stereotype goes, anyway.  The whole point of the commercial is that the guys are constantly competing against each other.  That's why they don't carpool.

 

Generally I would agree, but I think they may have turned in their man cards when they both bought bright red nissans.  Just kidding male Nissan lovers!

Ack.  For real.

 

There is a restaurant near me that specializes in Portuguese chicken.  They have a graphic of a chicken with one wing tucked behind her head, legs crossed and winking.  She has long eyelashes.  I always say to my husband that as delicious as their Portuguese chicken might be, I would never go in there, because I really don't want my food coming on to me.

 

I have never understood the appeal of a restaurant or chain having a mascot that is the thing they are selling.  There is this local place called "The Pig Palace" or something like that, and its sign is basically a graphic of a cartoon pig smiling blissfully as he sits in a pot of boiling water!  As if he just can't wait until he is turned into pork rinds and taco filling.  I feel so sorry for him!  I don't think I could ever eat there.  Same for your sexy chicken, I feel bad for the chicken (although, I maintain if chickens didn't want to be eaten, they would stop being so delicious)

Edited June 18, 2014 by RealityGal

[St. Claire]

Same for your sexy chicken, I feel bad for the chicken (although, I maintain if chickens didn't want to be eaten, they would stop being so delicious)

 

 

Let's stop with the victim blaming!! 

[Watcher0363]

Let's stop with the victim blaming!! 

Thanks for putting a stop to that St. Claire. Next thing you know people would be flavor shaming the chicken the cow and my favorite the pig in all its porcine glory.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

There is a restaurant near me that specializes in Portuguese chicken.  They have a graphic of a chicken with one wing tucked behind her head, legs crossed and winking.  She has long eyelashes.  I always say to my husband that as delicious as their Portuguese chicken might be, I would never go in there, because I really don't want my food coming on to me.

 

There's a great ad campaign, chicken brought to you by the red light district. I'm seriously not sure whether to be horrified or collapse into hilarity.

[stillshimpy]

Okay, hold onto your pearls, your hats and whatever else you might clutch in the face of extreme WTF?? exploitation.  

 

This kept airing last night during The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.  When I say "kept"  I mean backtobacktoback so we saw it five times.  

 

I would like to point out that my husband is never the type of guy who normally leers, he'd never catcall.  He's certainly not immune to beautiful women, but then no one really is, I have to admit I noticed the woman first too.  At least the funny thing is that after the fourth time it aired I said to my husband, "Wow, so they clearly have a high opinion of subscribers.  Look, boobs! Buy our product and watch soccer and the World Cup or boobs!" and my husband said, without joking, "wait that commercial is for soccer?" 

I had to rewind to show him, at which point he said he was surprised to discover he can be such a typical guy, as he doesn't think of himself that way...and yeah, he didn't notice the futbol theme.  Can't say as I blame him:  

Edited June 19, 2014 by stillshimpy

[PrincessEnnui]

That commercial got my attention too. But because it was in Spanish! My first thought was xenos must hate this commercial. Then I noticed the woman. XD I wonder if its on Sociological Images yet. They are running it into the ground.

[janie jones]

That commercial is for soccer?  Not for cable?

[lottiedottie]

That commercial got my attention too. But because it was in Spanish! My first thought was xenos must hate this commercial. Then I noticed the woman. XD I wonder if its on Sociological Images yet. They are running it into the ground.

 Shouldn't it have been in Portuguese? 

[Prevailing Wind]

 

That commercial is for soccer?  Not for cable?

Not cable. Dish. I wonder if they have HER in marionette form?

[PrincessEnnui]

Probably. I am no expert and its been a long time since any foreign language class that wasn't Japanese. :)

Edited June 20, 2014 by PrincessEnnui

[lachesis]

This kept airing last night during The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.  When I say "kept"  I mean backtobacktoback so we saw it five times.

Man oh man I had to switch the channel when this ad came on the third time. Not impressed, Dish. If you want to catch this girl's attention, get some of those futbol menfolk dancing around in skimpy costumes! Maybe I'll give you 30 seconds of my time depending on hotness of said menfolk. I'm all about equal opportunity. ;)

Speaking of Dish, I hate that stupid kangaroo. First she screws off at work watching movies on her tablet, then she takes a nap while on a road trip with a woman and her fighting kids. She then fails to break up the two boys reenacting American Gladiators on top of the couch.

I miss the Boston Hopper family... "Meatloaf *bang bang* and some beeahs!"

[stillshimpy]

Shouldn't it have been in Portuguese?

 

It's for Dish Latino, so Spanish makes sense :-)  It was paired with another ad, for a similarly skimpily clad woman, talking about the picture-in-picture feature that had two, not one but two, barely clad backsides, shaking it side-by-side, so that you never have to miss any of the action.  It also purported to be about soccer/football/futbol .  

 

 

 

That commercial is for soccer?  Not for cable?

 

It's for Dish Latino and talking about the merits of watching football/soccer on Dish because of their picture-in-picture features, etc.  So it's for both, Dish Latino and it's allegedly superior futbol coverage.  The nearly naked Vegas Style dancer in the four inch heels is ...because...boobs and backsides sell stuff?  Basically. 

 

The title of the campaign is "el juego bonito" which means "the beautiful game" . 

Edited June 20, 2014 by stillshimpy

[OSM Mom]

Dear Sparkle paper towel fairy. You ever point that wand at me, and you'll find it shoved so far up your ass, you'll never be able to bibbity boppity boop it out.

[Wax Lion]

 

I have never understood the appeal of a restaurant or chain having a mascot that is the thing they are selling.  There is this local place called "The Pig Palace" or something like that, and its sign is basically a graphic of a cartoon pig smiling blissfully as he sits in a pot of boiling water!  As if he just can't wait until he is turned into pork rinds and taco filling.  I feel so sorry for him!  I don't think I could ever eat there.

 

I've got a better one. There was a barbecue joint that had as its logo a pig serving a tray of ribs, as if saying "I hope you enjoy them, I took care of my children so they'd be delicious!"

[legaleagle53]

 Shouldn't it have been in Portuguese? 

 

It actually is in Portuguese; the subtitles are in Spanish, however.  That's probably what's throwing you.

[RealityGal]

I've got a better one. There was a barbecue joint that had as its logo a pig serving a tray of ribs, as if saying "I hope you enjoy them, I took care of my children so they'd be delicious!"

 

Thats so wrong!  That is so much worse than pig palace, thats just rubbing it in the pig's face.

[xls]

Can we address the gross guys on the "Miracle Whip and proud of it." spots? I wouldn't eat anything this guy brought to a party if I was starving to death

Though the potato salad with the apples the two ladies make looked really good. 

Edited June 21, 2014 by xls

[Watcher0363]

I've got a better one. There was a barbecue joint that had as its logo a pig serving a tray of ribs, as if saying "I hope you enjoy them, I took care of my children so they'd be delicious!"

 

 

Thats so wrong!  That is so much worse than pig palace, thats just rubbing it in the pig's face.

In defense of the pig I am sure he was just serving up his enemies on a platter. Hannibal Lecter style.

[OSM Mom]

In defense of the pig I am sure he was just serving up his enemies on a platter. Hannibal Lecter style.

Hopefully with some Fava beans and a good chianti.

[xls]

The only one of these I've seen is the serial killer looking guy who looks like he hasn't seen a shower in at least a couple of years dumping what appears to be coleslaw (presumably made with Miracle Whip) on his hamburger and then looking around like his penis just grew a couple of inches as a result of that action.  Strange.

I know, what are they thinking!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxTA4iq98lw

[Cobalt Stargazer]

In defense of the pig I am sure he was just serving up his enemies on a platter. Hannibal Lecter style.

Hopefully with some Fava beans and a good chianti.

 

Is it white wine or red that goes with pork? Hannibal Lecter would never be so gauche as to bring something that doesn't suit the meal.

[janie jones]

Dear Sparkle paper towel fairy. You ever point that wand at me, and you'll find it shoved so far up your ass, you'll never be able to bibbity boppity boop it out.

I hate all paper towel commercials. They show people using paper towels for things I'd never use a paper towel for. Why would I use a paper towel to clean the counter or dust?

I saw the Miracle Whip commercial with the skeezy guy at the diner for the first time today. I thought it was funny. I liked that he put the slaw on the dry burger but what really won me over was him busting out his camera and taking a picture of the food.

The Highlander commercial with the Muppets makes me hate the Muppets.

[Watcher0363]

Is it white wine or red that goes with pork? Hannibal Lecter would never be so gauche as to bring something that doesn't suit the meal.

Well in that case, it's baked beans and sweet tea. While binge watching House of Cards.

[aradia22]

I think the first Miracle Whip commercial with the woman making the deviled eggs sort of made sense. I don't think it was the best way to sell Miracle Whip but I got what they were going for. Artichoke dip guy continues in the same vein in a less effective way. The coleslaw one didn't even really make sense. What are you proud of again? The first two were about nonconformists being integrated into conventional groups like ooo, use Miracle Whip if you want to get a little crazy... but not too crazy because we're still basically talking about mayonnaise. If I'd seen the coleslaw one without the other two I would think the advertising department just got high one day and that was the result. 

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Well in that case, it's baked beans and sweet tea. While binge watching House of Cards.

 

I'm sure it's in Emily Post's book somewhere. Dining Out for the Sophisticated Cannibal..

[janie jones]

If I'd seen the coleslaw one without the other two I would think the advertising department just got high one day and that was the result. 

I have seen the coleslaw one without the other two, so maybe that's why I like it.

[RealityGal]

I know, what are they thinking!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DxTA4iq98lw

 

The only one of these I've seen is the serial killer looking guy who looks like he hasn't seen a shower in at least a couple of years dumping what appears to be coleslaw (presumably made with Miracle Whip) on his hamburger and then looking around like his penis just grew a couple of inches as a result of that action.  Strange.

 

Well, to be fair, his look says that SOMETHING is happening in his pants as a result of eating a burger with coleslaw on it.

 

 I love how the cook in the diner regales him with a look of shocked admiration, like he just blew his damn mind with his brilliance, like "look at this crazy guy putting slaw on a burger!  I never even realized that the cup I serve the slaw in is the exact same size as a burger, what a crazy slaw lovin' genius!  Slaw on a burger, thats a story I'll be telling my great grandkids"

 

Word up to Miracle Whip though - I never get that look of heroic admiration when I put my usual two pickles and mustard on my burger.

Edited June 21, 2014 by RealityGal

[RealityGal]

Can we address the gross guys on the "Miracle Whip and proud of it." spots? I wouldn't eat anything this guy brought to a party if I was starving to death

Though the potato salad with the apples the two ladies make looked really good. 

Here is the thing that annoys me about that commercial....you're no hero dude, you just brought your side dish.  You said you would bring the damn artichoke dip and you did it, no need to push all the other food out of the way and wait for the honeys to hug you like you just rescued them.  Becky brought the jello mold, Todd brought the potato salad, Jeff brought the 7 layer bean tip, Suzie brought the peach cobbler.  But you don't see THEM looking for recognition or pushing everyone elses stuff out of the way.  I mean, I get that you're proud of this artichoke dip, I get it, you got your miracle whip, you made your dip, put it into your El Camino and managed to make it to the party without spilling it or eating it, and for that you're a rock star.  But seriously, look for applause when you bring the main dish.  Or at least something that requires a little more prep than stirring in the miracle whip.

[Ubiquitous]

I love how the cook in the diner regales him with a look of shocked admiration, like he just blew his damn mind with his brilliance, like "look at this crazy guy putting slaw on a burger!  I never even realized that the cup I serve the slaw in is the exact same size as a burger, what a crazy slaw lovin' genius!  Slaw on a burger, thats a story I'll be telling my great grandkids"

That one is my least favorite of the new Miracle Whip ads, I think the cook looks rather pissed off about the dirty-looking customer making him make a special batch of cole slaw with Miracle Whip.

 

Speaking of douchebags, I am kinda hate that tool wearing a knit cap who says "This place.. saved my life" for some bogus rehab clnic.