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Wonderful Things in Mediocre (or Just Plain Bad) Movies


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Robocop 3 was awful but I do love the part where the entire police force tosses their badges on the floor and walks out rather than follow OCP's orders to harm the displaced civilians.

Also was I the only one who didn't know the guy that replaced Peter Weller was TUCKER on Law and Order SVU??!

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17 minutes ago, Spartan Girl said:

Robocop 3 was awful but I do love the part where the entire police force tosses their badges on the floor and walks out rather than follow OCP's orders to harm the displaced civilians.

Also was I the only one who didn't know the guy that replaced Peter Weller was TUCKER on Law and Order SVU??!

Never saw RoboCop 3 but I did see 2 and it's pretty awful. Having Frank Miller write the script was a bad idea. The one really good scene that captures the black humor of the first movie is this:

 

 

 

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Ray Walston's scenes as the teacher who had to deal with Sean Penn's annoying character were by far the most entertaining part of Fast Times at Ridgemont High, IMO! LOVED it when he had the REST of the class eat Spicoli's pizza that he'd had delivered in the middle of class time! LOL

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Old Guard with Charlize Theron:  It was decent movie--enjoyable enough.  There is a scene at the end where the team is moving through a building as a unit, looking for the bad guys, clearing each room.  The choreography of them moving safely in and out of each room with their weapons drawn that is spectacular.  It was like watching a well rehearsed dance routine. 

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I love the MCU, but not all of them are great. There are a few that are just "ok".  Thor: The Dark World is in the "ok" category for me.  However, it includes my favorite cameo in the whole series:  When Loki changes into Captain America.  It only lasts seconds, but if I'm flipping through the channels and see the movie, if it's close to that scene, I'll wait until it's over before continuing. 

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1 hour ago, Shannon L. said:

I love the MCU, but not all of them are great. There are a few that are just "ok".  Thor: The Dark World is in the "ok" category for me.  However, it includes my favorite cameo in the whole series:  When Loki changes into Captain America.  It only lasts seconds, but if I'm flipping through the channels and see the movie, if it's close to that scene, I'll wait until it's over before continuing. 

Yes! I just watched it last night! So great!

Another great moment in that movie was Loki breaking down when Frigga died.

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(edited)

Don't laugh.

In Major League (which is one of those stupid movies I can watch over and over), there is a brief moment that gets me every time.  Rick Vaughn is seduced by a woman whose name he doesn't bother getting.  The next morning, he wakes up to her getting dressed and he says "I never got your name" to which she responds "Suzanne Dorn.  Mrs. Roger Dorn"  She's the the wife of another player on his team who really doesn't like him.  She leaves calling out to his room mate, another team member "Hi Jake!" and walks out.  A shocked Jake (he's known her and  Roger for years) walks into Rick's room and sees him sitting there on the side of the bed with his head in his hands.  Rick then looks up and says "I didn't know who she was".  Charlie Sheen really sold the shock, the fear of what might come and the confusion as to what what kind of game she was playing.

Edited by Shannon L.
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I've seen that film so many times I can recite along with it, and I've always spent that scene laughing at Jake's reaction to seeing Suzanne.  But you're right - Sheen is doing some legit acting there.

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Yeah, that's definitely one of those movies I love to rewatch. I love it after they win the last game and they're all celebrating, Dorn punches Rick and then just picks him up and hugs him jumping up and down in celebration.

Poor Rick did wind up as a pawn in the Dorns' sexual games but the moment was still funny.

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I still say on occasion "Are you trying to say Jesus Christ can’t hit a curveball?" and "Juu-st a bit outside" was a regular phrase during the kids' Little League years.  I still get a kick out of the delivery of "I hate this fucking song" and I embarrassed myself by trying to stifle a fit of giggles during a meeting when I thought  "Cross him off then". I'll spare you the details, but I quickly excused myself since it did indeed have to do with people who had passed away.

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6 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

I still get a kick out of the delivery of "I hate this fucking song" and I embarrassed myself by trying to stifle a fit of giggles during a meeting when I thought  "Cross him off then".

When Margaret Whitton died, Major League was my first thought, because as hilarious a movie as it is, there's a strong argument to be made that her "Cross him off then" is its greatest line.  (And, yeah, the generic "I hate this fucking song" is also perfectly delivered.)

 

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(edited)

OK, it was overall a lame attempt at a remake of the classic series, but there were some positive aspects of Beverly Hillbillies (1993):

1. The late Jim Varney gave a surprisingly nuanced performance as Jed Clampett (more so than Buddy Ebsen had). Yes, he still was a country bumpkin that struck it rich and was naive to the ways of the upper crust and mostly played it broad. However, such things as it being revealed that his fave song was Hank Williams, Sr. 'I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry' (which the stock grifter and golddigger team played by Rob Schneider and Lea Thompson did their best to exploit) actually was a bit poignant as he revealed that he DID still carry a torch for Elly May's late mother Rose Ellen who he believed was far too good for him and that the move to Beverly  (and even his attempted remarriage) was out of desire to do right by their daughter so she'd have more of a chance to be ladylike instead of staying a wild tomboy (but by the movie's end he expressed his pride in her being her REAL self). Yes, Mr. Varney had made his name as the dim hick Ernest Varell but he had been a Shakespearean performer and his colleagues would attest to him being a far deeper an intellect than the audience would have imagined. 

2. The late Cloris Leachman's Daisy Moses better known as Granny was even fiestier than Irene Ryan's had been. However, even so, she brought more layers to the character by the fact that, despite utterly loathing Beverly Hills, she was willing to stay by her son-in-law's side to help raise her motherless granddaughter Elly May and (and deal with their galoot Cousin Jethro) , although she didn't directly express her angst re the loss of her daughter as much as Jed, by the fact that her 'disappearance ' was initially written off as a moonshine lark because she was upset over Jed's impending marriage since she HAD gone on a lengthy bender when he'd married her only daughter way back then. 

3. Lily Tomlin truly fleshed out Miss Jane Hathaway by giving her more vulnerability after she initially called the cops on the Clampetts after mistaking them for squatters, they were so impressed by her sincere mortification that they insisted Mr. Drysdale (Dabney Coleman) rehire her on the spot- and never lost their trust in her. Oh, yes and although Miss Jane never openly outflanked Mr. Drysdale the way Miss Tomlin's Violet had done to Mr. Coleman's Franklin Hart in 9 to 5 (1980), she DID find her purpose beyond being a dumped on flunky and become a de facto Clampett even if she never got to be a Hillbilly.  Oh, her going undercover as a surprisingly fetching nurse to rescue Granny was comic gold and there was undeniable chemistry between Miss Tomlin and Miss Leachman as the two of them teamed up to  do all they could to save the day (and Jed's fortune) ! Too bad these two performers didn't team up for more movies. Oh, and Dolly Parton herself appeared as herself (who, no doubt was happy to ID with being a Real Life Hillbilly who stuck it rich via her talents)- though there was no interaction between her and her  9 to 5 costars!

4. The late Buddy Ebsen himself had his very last movie role playing his other iconic TV character of Barnaby Jones who did what he could to help Miss Jane and Granny. 

Anyway, these were good things that saved what could have been an otherwise mediocre and forgettable groaner. 

Edited by Blergh
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I didn’t really like The Woman in Red but I did love how Charles Grodin’s character was just one of the guys without being stereotyped as the Gay Best Friend. And this was in the 80s, so that’s pretty impressive.

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3 hours ago, Spartan Girl said:

I didn’t really like The Woman in Red but I did love how Charles Grodin’s character was just one of the guys without being stereotyped as the Gay Best Friend. And this was in the 80s, so that’s pretty impressive.

I actually kind of liked it.  It was a bit incomprehensible on first watch but I'd like to try it again.

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Streets of Fire.  I can't make up my mind about this one.  I mean, it was 1984, so there's the nostalgia factor.   Michael Paré and Diane Lane are both gorgeous but the acting is terrible and the dialogue is worse.   Then we have Willem Dafoe at his most scenery chewing and wearing this (which could be argued as awesome and not awful)

pic.jpg.5c1950e4e987ecc37c2008d65d099f54.jpg

However, there's also Amy Madigan!  Rick Moranis plays an asshole!  Stylistically, it's great.  The soundtrack is A++ . 

This is a fun performance (yes, I know this is not Dan Hartman in the video).

Maybe it's actually a good movie??

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(edited)
23 minutes ago, raven said:

Streets of Fire.  I can't make up my mind about this one.  I mean, it was 1984, so there's the nostalgia factor.   Michael Paré and Diane Lane are both gorgeous but the acting is terrible and the dialogue is worse.   Then we have Willem Dafoe at his most scenery chewing and wearing this (which could be argued as awesome and not awful)

pic.jpg.5c1950e4e987ecc37c2008d65d099f54.jpg

However, there's also Amy Madigan!  Rick Moranis plays an asshole!  Stylistically, it's great.  The soundtrack is A++ . 

This is a fun performance (yes, I know this is not Dan Hartman in the video).

Maybe it's actually a good movie??

It's definitely unique. Like Walter Hill's earlier THE WARRIORS it's this crazy world that is an exaggerated version of the real one which he also sets another mythic quest. This time it's a mash of the 50s and 80s instead of the late 70s NYC.

The songs are definitely great. I had no idea the "Hold You Tonight" song is from this movie!

Edited by VCRTracking
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(edited)
54 minutes ago, Wiendish Fitch said:

"Tonight is What it Means to be Young" and "Nowhere Fast" are my workout jams.

Amy Madigan steals Streets of Fire from pretty much everybody.

I truly thought I was the only one who loved this film and those songs in all its cheesiness.

Edited by BlackberryJam
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9 minutes ago, BlackberryJam said:

I truly thought I was the only one who loved this film and those songs in all its cheesiness.

I don't know if I love or defend Streets of Fire as whole (sorry to be wishy-washy, but I've never been able to make up my mind about it), but it does have good things in it (namely Amy Madigan), and how about that soundtrack?!

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15 minutes ago, Wiendish Fitch said:

I don't know if I love or defend Streets of Fire as whole (sorry to be wishy-washy, but I've never been able to make up my mind about it), but it does have good things in it (namely Amy Madigan), and how about that soundtrack?!

Oh it's terrible, certainly. That doesn't change my love for it.

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2 hours ago, BlackberryJam said:

Oh it's terrible, certainly. That doesn't change my love for it.

I hadn't seen it in decades and it's on Netflix, so I watched the other night.  Let's just say I was surprised at how bad some of it was with my teenage colored glasses off.

I'm with you though - I think I love it.

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I love Streets of Fire.  I love the style and the music.  The creators know exactly what they are making “a rock and roll fable.”  Some film makers act like they are giving you steak, but it’s just popcorn.  The people making Streets of Fire know it’s popcorn.  I loved that it was a weird combination of 50s and 80s aesthetics.  There’s almost a timeless quality to it like it exists in it’s own world. I seriously adore it regardless of flaws.  It’s fun and visually interesting.  The Warriors also seems to exist in it’s own world.   It’s an interesting way to approach a movie.

I used to wish for a tv spin off following Amy Madigan traveling all over doing jobs.  

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2 hours ago, starri said:

SPECTRE is aggressive mediocre. 

On the other hand, Q, M, and Moneypenny all get to do stuff. 

By the same token, Moonraker's astrophysics aren't terrible. There's a decent attempt. More than Star Wars or Star Trek.

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1 hour ago, Hiyo said:

Moonraker was decent until they went off into space.

That was actually why I watched it. I wanted something spacey that was light and fun, and I hadn't seen a thousand times before.

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I honestly don't know what separates a good Bond movie from a bad Bond movie.  The only legitimately good movies out of the lot are the 2006 Casino Royale and Skyfall.  (it should go without saying that mileage is obviously going to vary on that) The thing is, the same reviewers who skewer Die Another Day because of Bond windsurfing on a tidal wave are the same ones who like the jet pack in Thunderball or the volcano lair and piranhas in You Only Live Twice.  It's all the same level of dumb.  The only difference is whatever one's threshold is for it.  

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I wouldn’t say those are the only legitimate good ones. But as you say, mileage varies. I can enjoy the over the top campy stupidity of You OnLy Live Twice. Moonraker and Doe Another Day, not so much…

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On 6/16/2021 at 3:55 AM, Hiyo said:

I wouldn’t say those are the only legitimate good ones. But as you say, mileage varies. I can enjoy the over the top campy stupidity of You OnLy Live Twice. Moonraker and Doe Another Day, not so much…

Your typo made me think it would have been so much better if it was called D'oh Another Day.  I actually really like the fencing scene in that one.

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I like the soundtrack in Blade 3. And Ryan Reynold's abs. 

Agreed on the Bond movies. They're all stupid and ridiculous and to me pretty much all the same.

I like the ones with Judi Dench. And the ones with Timothy Dalton. And the ones with Pierce Brosnan. These actors are the good things about those movies for me.

I couldn't tell you which title goes with which movie. I can tell you however the plot of them all: Something with an over-the-top bad guy and some McGuffin device and/or a McGuffin plot reason. Or two. Rarely three.

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Die Another Day is my biggest disappointment for a Bond film, because of the way it started. In that I mean Bond getting captured by the North Koreans and pretty much deconstructed got me excited and then things got silly. (Graham Chapman, R.I.P.)

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I know The Hunchback of Notre Dame isn’t considered one of Disney’s best animated movies—blame it mostly on the gargoyles—but there are several things that make it shine:

1) The visual scenery. Notre Dame cathedral and the streets of Paris spectacularly done.

2) The musical score—holy shit, it is majestically intense. And kudos to “Hellfire” for being the most ambitious and darkest Disney villain songs ever.

3) Tom Hulce voicing Quasimodo. His performance was so poignant and vulnerable, and it’s the first time the character has a fully developed arc. And while making Frollo more overtly evil might have diluted the complexity of Hugo’s version, it is probably the first version that flat-out calls their out relationship as toxic and abusive. In Hugo’s book and other versions, it’s kind of glossed over because NonDisney Frollo does adopt the baby out of charity, and that’s supposed to make us overlook how he uses Quasimodo to do his dirty work and let him take the fall for his actions. So give Disney points for that one.

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1 hour ago, Spartan Girl said:

2) The musical score—holy shit, it is majestically intense. And kudos to “Hellfire” for being the most ambitious and darkest Disney villain songs ever.

It's only over time that I've really come to appreciate Hellfire and the score in Hunchback.  "Majestically intense" is the perfect way to describe it.

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4 hours ago, Spartan Girl said:

I know The Hunchback of Notre Dame isn’t considered one of Disney’s best animated movies—blame it mostly on the gargoyles—but there are several things that make it shine:

There's a lot of wonderful things in the movie, the score is glorious and so is the animation....but those gargoyles! It's a movie where everything else is great, except for one thing.

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