S04.E21: Where Are They Now? Chay and Pauline

[Guest]

I've reached the tipping point with Lola.  Too much.  She's a sponge constantly trying to absorb attention from everyone else. 

Here's what I don't understand - a large percentage of the people we see on this show clearly need therapy.  There's much more to this than what we see and from the comments it's clear that I'm not alone in my assessment.  I am in contact (through my job) with people who have experienced tremendous abuse in their lives.  Horrific abuse.  They plow through it.  They don't stuff themselves with purse tacos, bingo grilled cheese sandwiches or pee pad meatloaf.  They go through therapy (that's quite difficult for them) and come out stronger.  Most of the clients have very little to no extra money.  That doesn't stop them.  They don't drown their sorrows in alcohol or gravy.  Again, they plow through it.

I am not implying that they're "better" than the ones we see on the show.  I'm just trying to make the point that their true problems are not being addressed by stripping them naked (literally) and parading them on the screen for our entertainment and amusement.  They need help.  Overeating is an excuse.  Many people have experienced abuse, abandonment and disappointment and have found help to get them through without harming their internal organs by encasing them in solid fat.  TLC is exploiting their situation and it just seems to me they use these people and then spit them out. 

Can you think of anyone who is truly joyful after their experience on this show?  I can't.  Yes, they are lighter in weight but their faces reflect a sadness that wasn't erased by eating more protein and having their fat wings lopped off.  The more I think about/read about this show, the more ashamed I am that I'm helping TLC to exploit their issues.  Why aren't I feeling joy for these participants?

[ClareWalks]

4 minutes ago, PsychoKlown said:

having their fat wings lopped off. 

I am glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read that, because I am certain I would have choked, LOL. But yeah, your entire post was great. Very insightful.

[aliya]

19 minutes ago, PsychoKlown said:

They don't stuff themselves with purse tacos, bingo grilled cheese sandwiches or pee pad meatloaf.  

Can you think of anyone who is truly joyful after their experience on this show?  I can't.  Yes, they are lighter in weight but their faces reflect a sadness that wasn't erased by eating more protein and having their fat wings lopped off.  The more I think about/read about this show, the more ashamed I am that I'm helping TLC to exploit their issues.  Why aren't I feeling joy for these participants?

You raise some very good points. First, because I'm shallow that way... "pee pad meatloaf" is going on my meal rotation. I think I can make it vegetarian...

Second, I think you are right about people not being joyful after the surgery. Henry (RIP) and Nikki (the red haired costume designer) are the only two I can think of. Maybe Amber, as well. I wonder if so many at this weight just have so much work to do, such as skin surgery, that it's hard to be happy. When we say the operation is not a quick fix, that covers a lot of territory. Not only doesn't the fat come off quickly, but it's still a hard slog, food-wise, to help it along. It's not automatic. There are still cravings, weight loss stalls, possible complications from surgery, maybe dealing with lymphodemea, and changing familial relationships now that one doesn't need 24 hr care. 

I'm still on a FB page for people over 50 who have or are contemplating the gastric sleeve (I opted against it). A number of these people have complications and other issues after surgery; more than you'd think are quickly gaining weight back, but many are happy with their choice and post about the good things they can do now with less weight. Perhaps there are physical and emotional differences between needing to lose 150 (not me, btw) lbs and losing 400. 

It's complicated stuff. My son doesn't understand why I watch these shows, but they make me think.

[IvySpice]

Quote

But Lola wasn't in drag. She wasn't even bringing the fierce. Not that there's anything wrong with the way she dressed, but she stuck out for all the wrong reasons on that stage. 

I'm going to assume that that was still in New Iberia, where there probably isn't much of a queer scene at all, and you work with what you can get. If that was New Orleans, then she was just in the wrong place, but she may not know that yet.

Quote

Can you think of anyone who is truly joyful after their experience on this show?

Not much, but when you start with the fact that pretty much everyone was dirt poor, miserable, deeply troubled, and in a sick, codependent family situation...maybe it's not so weird that none of them end up super happy. That's a hell of a lot to fix; much of it may not be fixable. Many of them do seem to be some quantum happier and/or healthier, which maybe is all we can ask for.

[Armchair Critic]

On ‎5‎/‎19‎/‎2016 at 2:42 PM, Azubah said:

"Dude, the only thing harder than being a fat guy is being a fat woman. You might want to rethink this."

You got that right. I hate to break it to Chay but I don't think most men (I assume he is gay?) will be lining up to get it on with somebody who looks like his grandma.

[Stripper Glitter]

On 5/20/2016 at 9:20 PM, Scorpiosunshine said:

Sorry to double post. Here's a pic of my tv. It's a little dark because I wanted to avoid any glare.

What a change! Wow! I don't think I would have recognized her, either! She's smiling too, lol. 

Thank you! She looks so different -and better! 

[new jersey devil]

Like it or not, the aunt and uncle have an opinion, and they can have that. We may not agree, but thats what freedom is.

I had to laugh out loud at paulie bombshell bitching about her pain. I was shot through the left wrist while in Afghanistan, and I did'nt complain about the pain anywhere near as much as she did. Mean to say, I believe her knees did indeed hurt her after years of that much weight on them. But anyone could see she was developing a pain pill problem.

Edited May 21, 2016 by new jersey devil

[dahling]

I remember from the original Chay show that his Aunt and Uncle were very kind people who helped put him on the path to being successful with his weight loss.  I felt uncomfortable watching Chay drive over to their house to "confront" them over a FB post.  Hopefully some day they can come to some kind of peace with his decision and be a part of each other's lives, even if they don't accept or understand it. 

[new jersey devil]

4 hours ago, dahling said:

I remember from the original Chay show that his Aunt and Uncle were very kind people who helped put him on the path to being successful with his weight loss.  I felt uncomfortable watching Chay drive over to their house to "confront" them over a FB post.  Hopefully some day they can come to some kind of peace with his decision and be a part of each other's lives, even if they don't accept or understand it. 

Chay just wanted to bully his straight aunt and uncle. Like I said, he's an attention whore, and woe to those who did'nt agree 100% with his chioces(hence his little coming out "surprise" to his "safe, selected" audiance).

I would bet my next paycheck that he is no longer in contact with his aunt and uncle. In fact, I'd bet my next 3 pays. 

If chay does'nt have all the attention, he will bully until he gets it.

[fonfereksglen]

On ‎5‎/‎20‎/‎2016 at 5:22 PM, PsychoKlown said:

I've reached the tipping point with Lola.  Too much.  She's a sponge constantly trying to absorb attention from everyone else. 

Here's what I don't understand - a large percentage of the people we see on this show clearly need therapy.  There's much more to this than what we see and from the comments it's clear that I'm not alone in my assessment.  I am in contact (through my job) with people who have experienced tremendous abuse in their lives.  Horrific abuse.  They plow through it.  They don't stuff themselves with purse tacos, bingo grilled cheese sandwiches or pee pad meatloaf.  They go through therapy (that's quite difficult for them) and come out stronger.  Most of the clients have very little to no extra money.  That doesn't stop them.  They don't drown their sorrows in alcohol or gravy.  Again, they plow through it.

I am not implying that they're "better" than the ones we see on the show.  I'm just trying to make the point that their true problems are not being addressed by stripping them naked (literally) and parading them on the screen for our entertainment and amusement.  They need help.  Overeating is an excuse.  Many people have experienced abuse, abandonment and disappointment and have found help to get them through without harming their internal organs by encasing them in solid fat.  TLC is exploiting their situation and it just seems to me they use these people and then spit them out. 

Can you think of anyone who is truly joyful after their experience on this show?  I can't.  Yes, they are lighter in weight but their faces reflect a sadness that wasn't erased by eating more protein and having their fat wings lopped off.  The more I think about/read about this show, the more ashamed I am that I'm helping TLC to exploit their issues.  Why aren't I feeling joy for these participants?

Thank you for that sentence.  I'm a 63 y/o daughter of a narcissistic mother  -  she is now 84 and still full of piss and vinegar though damaging fewer and fewer people as time has passed. That sentence just adds to the extensive list of descriptions that my husband and I will use to describe what it is like to be around her.  Though, like Chay will eventually learn, everyone eventually grows tired of the drama.

As for the rest on what you say, I understand what you mean, but don't see it quite the same way.  Everyone struggles to survive the ups and downs of life as best they can. We have seen only 34? people, two in particular over the course of 10 years.  I see joy in simple mobility allowing them to walk or finally drive a car again.    I see joy in going back to work and providing for their family.  I see joy in moving into better living conditions. I see joy in losing 400+ pounds!  I also see people damaged beyond anything I can imagine, yet they hug Dr. Now in thanks that they at least have one person in their life proud of what they have accomplished, because we know their enablers, often spouses, are not happy.    These 34 people have either been so damaged by sexual abuse/damaging enabling (Christina in particular) or chose to abuse/control/ themselves/their family that they became lost in a deep hole.  If it takes showing how difficult it has become to take something as simple as a shower to be chosen for this show and given what is probably their only chance, I don't think it is so bad. I'm not entertained by their misery.  I watch and hope they all take advantage of this rare opportunity, whether I "like" them or not.   

[Albino]

On 5/21/2016 at 10:33 PM, IvySpice said:

Not much, but when you start with the fact that pretty much everyone was dirt poor, miserable, deeply troubled, and in a sick, codependent family situation...maybe it's not so weird that none of them end up super happy. That's a hell of a lot to fix; much of it may not be fixable. Many of them do seem to be some quantum happier and/or healthier, which maybe is all we can ask for.

True.  I think that many believe that once they lose the weight their lives will miraculously change...they'll find romance, get great jobs, become popular and have exciting social lives.  

[new jersey devil]

Well, with some of these humps, it seems like "I'm fat and can't do for myself, so I will blame everyone/everything but myself. Yeah. Thats the ticket."

And I honestly mean no offense to abuse survivors, here, but the "I was sexually abused" is played. Every addict on intervention has used the "sex abuse excuse" as my wife calls it. I'd love an addict to be honest and say "I love getting high." Instead, they say "I use to cover the pain." And again, I understand many were abused. I get that. But  now, its the "go to" reason.

[AZChristian]

As someone who WAS sexually abused for 12 years as a child, I also get annoyed with those who use it as an excuse for everything bad that happens to them.  I still have intermittent episodes where I am affected by the emotional trauma, but one has to choose to go forward - not to wallow.  

Recently, all of the media talk about gender-inclusive bathrooms has felt like a slap in the face to me (as a survivor of childhood abuse).  But I'm working hard to figure out a middle ground where I can respect the rights of transgenders, while standing up for MY rights as someone who does not want to see strange men in a public restroom.  So far, I'm just avoiding Target.  The point is - people have to work through their problems and succeed, not use them as a basis for failure.

[nancytribe]

14 hours ago, new jersey devil said:

Chay just wanted to bully his straight aunt and uncle. Like I said, he's an attention whore, and woe to those who did'nt agree 100% with his chioces(hence his little coming out "surprise" to his "safe, selected" audiance).

I would bet my next paycheck that he is no longer in contact with his aunt and uncle. In fact, I'd bet my next 3 pays. 

If chay does'nt have all the attention, he will bully until he gets it.

Here's the thing-- I think we need to be careful when we talk about a transgender women "bullying" her loved ones when all she is asking is that her loved ones recognize that she is a woman. There's a big difference between being asked to confront something you're uncomfortable with and being asked to navigate the kind of dehumanizing everyday cruelty that leads so many young transgender people to harm or kill themselves.   http://www.yspp.org/about_suicide/gay_lesbian_FAQs.htm

Edited May 22, 2016 by nancytribe
Edited to fix a typo

[new jersey devil]

And according to many sources(I can give links. pm me if you want a doctors view) the high suicide rate is due to the simple fact that gender dysphoria was once treated as a mental illness. Doctors  in many states are resricted from even MENTIONING mental illness in reguards to gender dysphoria, where it may save lives. Studies have shown that depression and suicide go hand and hand with gender dysphoria.

Edited May 23, 2016 by HalcyonDays

[IvySpice]

Quote

So what you are telling me is, Trans people never bully anyone.

No, we're telling you that it isn't bullying to ask (or even beg!) your loved ones to continue to love you the way they always have regardless of your gender expression. Changing your name and pronouns isn't hurting anyone. They don't have to think their nephew is doing the right thing; they could just care more about whether Chay is happy than about whether she's following their rules. That would mean trusting that Chay knows better than anyone else what's right for her life.

I've seen family members reject each other over religion in more or less the same way. If your kid wants to join the Hare Krishnas or become a citizen of Uruguay, maybe you think that's nuts, but why would't you love him like before? The only reason is because you love your idea of what he's supposed to be more than you love the real person.

If you think that a family member has a mental illness and that they are misguidedly seeking the wrong kind of treatment, then you ought to show that person MORE love and kindness, not less.

[nancytribe]

11 minutes ago, IvySpice said:

No, we're telling you that it isn't bullying to ask (or even beg!) your loved ones to continue to love you the way they always have regardless of your gender expression. Changing your name and pronouns isn't hurting anyone. They don't have to think their nephew is doing the right thing; they could just care more about whether Chay is happy than about whether she's following their rules. That would mean trusting that Chay knows better than anyone else what's right for her life.

I've seen family members reject each other over religion in more or less the same way. If your kid wants to join the Hare Krishnas or become a citizen of Uruguay, maybe you think that's nuts, but why would't you love him like before? The only reason is because you love your idea of what he's supposed to be more than you love the real person.

If you think that a family member has a mental illness and that they are misguidedly seeking the wrong kind of treatment, then you ought to show that person MORE love and kindness, not less.

Beautifully said.

[auntjess]

• Quote

  The more I think about/read about this show, the more ashamed I am that I'm helping TLC to exploit their issues.  Why aren't I feeling joy for these participants?

  This is why I was pleasantly surprised about TLC's new show, Two in a Million, where they bring together people who've never known another person suffering from their rare disease, and it seems really to be help these people.
  Of course knowing TLC, next season they'll make them marry Amish little people they've never met...

[NewGranny]

The thing about Chay/Lola, when she went to "confront" her aunt, she didn't say that she was going to explain to them how she feels or what she wants for her life.  She said that she was going to "confront" her.  Then, none of what was said was filmed so we really have no way of knowing what transpired, but I do think that is it a stretch to say that her aunt and uncle were being emotionally abusive to her or even not accepting of her.  She was there for 4 hours.  That is a long time.  For all we know, the aunt and uncle still want to support her in her weight loss but do not understand her want to transition to a woman.

Look, my younger brother that I practically raised is gay.  I knew long before he came out to me and it meant the world when he finally told me.  We are very close and I love his boyfriend too.  But, we had a falling out a few years ago when I posted something about Chick-fil-A and me supporting everyone's rights to believe what they want and the freedom to feel what they want.  He was very unhappy with me and did not speak to me for months.  We finally sat down to talk and I had to make my point, that yes, I support him and his life, but not everyone will and not everyone has too.  That is life.  I have a feeling that Chay/Lola's talk with her aunt and uncle went south when she wanted to confront them about the SM video and it was either going to be her way or the highway. 

It is a very sad situation because if I remember correctly, they were the only people supporting Chay when he was starting his weight loss and they seemed to be the most stable people in his life.  Even if they are (gasp) Conservatives. 

FYI, I am conservative too but like I told my brother, all I wish is for him to be as happy in a relationship as I am.  I couldn't care less if it was a man or woman.

[gunderda]

On 5/22/2016 at 9:19 PM, new jersey devil said:

Chay just wanted to bully his straight aunt and uncle. Like I said, he's an attention whore, and woe to those who did'nt agree 100% with his chioces(hence his little coming out "surprise" to his "safe, selected" audiance).

I would bet my next paycheck that he is no longer in contact with his aunt and uncle. In fact, I'd bet my next 3 pays. 

If chay does'nt have all the attention, he will bully until he gets it.

I wouldn't consider that bullying.  He knew his aunt had found out about his decision and then she posted an offensive video on facebook that was most likely directed at him. That's just downright passive aggressive behavior on the aunt's part and good for Chay/Lola for standing up against it.  It's not bullying to tell someone that what they did hurt you. We didn't get to hear their conversation so we don't know what was said to each other. I highly doubt Chay went in there and said "you MUST accept me!" 

They may not agree with Chay's decision but I believe they still love him and if you love someone you don't do something like that to them.

 

And really, people who post passive aggressive shit on facebook are just the worst. No matter the subject. 

[Scorpiosunshine]

On 5/20/2016 at 0:42 AM, Brooklynista said:

Oh Lola. I thought of this video immediately. 

 

 

What a great video!! I love it! 

On 5/20/2016 at 2:28 AM, new jersey devil said:

Attention whore much, Tater?

Look, I'm fine that the guy wants to become a woman. But how many times did he have to mention that his aunt and uncle were very "conservative", and they "would not understand me"? So what? Their opinions are just as valid as this attention seeker. And great idea coming out to his mother and her girlfriend, and 2 gay cousins. Guess he did'nt want to face someone who might question his decisions. 

The whole episode was about the guys "LOOK! LOOK! LOOK AT ME! mental state. I honestly think this guy has "gender dysphoria", with a good dose of narcissist on top. And who in the world "needs" become a woman that fast? I guess he had to show off to the millions who watch this show, right?

He made me sick.

I think it was presumably just a comfort issue. It's easier to come out to those you think are more like, you to accept you--kind of a "tackle the easiest hurdles first" thing .   As far as needing to become a woman that fast,  the point is that Chay is now and has always identified internally as a woman, so it's not a matter of becoming anything,  and only  a matter of matching the outside to the inside that has always been. ( I can't imagine the turmoil of living that way. )  I also don't think it's showing off to finally be able to walk out as yourself, no more than it's showing off for any other woman to walk out feeling good about herself. 

Just as an aside : I'm in the camp that one can't really have an opinion about another person's gender,  since it's not really a choice.   I get that some may not agree,  but again,  I don't see how someone who has never experienced it can argue and have an opinion on whether or not a person is transgender by choice or by nature.  Nature makes "mistakes"  all the time; why is gender any different? (I use the word "mistake" only to make the point that nature isn't perfect,  NOT to call trans folks "mistakes") 

On 5/20/2016 at 7:28 AM, Giant Misfit said:

When Chay said, "I want to be called 'Lola'" I screamed at the TV, "No! Pick another name!" Good grief, really? There was a point where she left the house to go shop and in the store her contouring make up looked like a clown face! She needs to spend more time with those gorgeous drag queens and learn how to blend that shit. Also aggravating: talking about getting on with her life by joining the theater group. That's great honey but you are gonna also need to get a J-O-B. Oh! And the ever-revolving line up of rental cars was distracting. I wonder how she gets around anywhere without transportation of her own? 

Still having a hard time thinking that her coming out to anyone in her family was any surprise. I wish her the best but I hope she can get her shit together. 

Poor Dillon. When Pauline said he could go out on his own for the day and he shlumped his way down the street like a lost puppy, a little piece of my heart broke.  Poor guy. His life is so grim.

"Lola" is quite the unfortunate choice in names .  As for Dillon,  I agree he really does seem beaten down.  It's so sad.  Hopefully he finds his own life and something to name him smile. 

On 5/21/2016 at 1:38 AM, Stripper Glitter said:

Thank you! She looks so different -and better! 

You're welcome! 

On 5/21/2016 at 3:06 PM, new jersey devil said:

Like it or not, the aunt and uncle have an opinion, and they can have that. We may not agree, but thats what freedom is.

I had to laugh out loud at paulie bombshell bitching about her pain. I was shot through the left wrist while in Afghanistan, and I did'nt complain about the pain anywhere near as much as she did. Mean to say, I believe her knees did indeed hurt her after years of that much weight on them. But anyone could see she was developing a pain pill problem.

 

On 5/22/2016 at 10:19 PM, new jersey devil said:

Chay just wanted to bully his straight aunt and uncle. Like I said, he's an attention whore, and woe to those who did'nt agree 100% with his chioces(hence his little coming out "surprise" to his "safe, selected" audiance).

I would bet my next paycheck that he is no longer in contact with his aunt and uncle. In fact, I'd bet my next 3 pays. 

If chay does'nt have all the attention, he will bully until he gets it.

We don't know if he bullied them since we didn't hear the conversation. I've never seen any hint of bullying from from either side,  nor any behaviors that would indicate "woe"  to anyone who disagreed with Lola.  What I can assume,  however,  is his since his aunt and uncle are conservative, their opinions are based on religion.  That usually comes with some very strong and often  hateful beliefs, such as telling the offending party that they are going to hell unless they change,  that they are an abomination in the eyes of whichever god, etc. Again, we don't know what was said on either party, so I'm not saying they said anything of the sort. Since the conversation lasted four hours,  I think there must have been a lot of talking from each side. 

As for Paula,  I agree that her med addiction was painfully obvious,  and I hope for her same that they weaned her off. 

22 hours ago, nancytribe said:

Here's the thing-- I think we need to be careful when we talk about a transgender women "bullying" her loved ones when all she is asking is that her loved ones recognize that she is a woman. There's a big difference between being asked to confront something you're uncomfortable with and being asked to navigate the kind of dehumanizing everyday cruelty that leads so many young transgender people to harm or kill themselves.   http://www.yspp.org/about_suicide/gay_lesbian_FAQs.htm

100% agreed! 

[mmecorday]

I just hope Lola knows that there's more to being a woman than wearing dresses and makeup. Some of us don't get all gussied up every day unless we have to. Hell, on the weekends I've been known to wear the same T-shirt to bed that I wore during the day.

[Armchair Critic]

Are my eyes deceiving me or is the Supersized episode 3 hours? That has got to be a lot of filler, 2 hours was enough of those two for me.

[auntjess]

I saw the 3 hours and wondered.  I usually skip supersized episodes unless I haven't seen the first.  I'll record it, and may ff through it to see if something looks new.
 

[Guest]

10 hours ago, Armchair Critic said:

Are my eyes deceiving me or is the Supersized episode 3 hours? That has got to be a lot of filler, 2 hours was enough of those two for me.

At this point in the show tonight, we're basically at where we were during last week's episode. I think the "third hour" is gonna be one of those stealth TLC shows they never add to the on-screen guide, like that show where people got new teeth and the other one where people got skin-reduction surgeries. At this point, I cannot possibly imagine another 90 minutes of "bonus" footage from either Pauline or Lola.

[Pdxblonde]

Since Chay doesn't work, how does he plan to pay for his gender reassignment surgery? I can't imagine Medicaid (or whatever she's on) would pay for that!

[MarysWetBar]

On 20/05/2016 at 7:48 AM, gunderda said:

I think it's normal for a gay or transgender person to worry that much about what their family thinks.  They are of course, your family. And Chay seemed very close to them.  Sadly Lola will not it appears.  So it will be a loss in her life.  

And I 2nd, 3rd, 4th the "really... Lola is the name you chose?"  no offense to any Lola's out there...  but it makes you realize that sometimes people shouldn't be allowed to choose their own name.

I also wonder how many transgender women are totally jealous that Lola has built in boobs already. At the very least if she ever loses the weight she'll likely just need a lift and implants.  If she doesn't lose the weight she's all set. And THANK GOD that salesperson gave her a good bra.  Makes me wonder if at first she was wearing her grandmas old bras... 

Aiiiiiiiii Stop! I already had a sick Norman Bates vibe going on for most of the episode! 

[auntjess]

OK, I ff'd through much of the Chay/Paula that I'd seen, then the last hour was Zsalynn and Olivia, beginning with year 2, through one of them's knee replacement and the other's skin surgery.
I hadn't seen either, so it was new to me.

[notyrmomma]

I finally had a chance to watch this, and generally I am a little skeptical on the Lola/Chay story.  I know she said it, but I don't think she will really pursue gender reassignment..I got more of a "she wants to become more of a drag performer" vibe.  But however she chooses to live her life is fine with me (I think she would make a great drag performer, personally).  On a personal level I had to roll my eyes at all the transgender discussion because it's the hot topic of the day now, plus TLC is heavily advertising their show on the transgender child, Jazz, so this is why I think they trumped up the Lola/Chay story.  

I have to say this...I want to build on what NewGranny said....now don't kill me.....but just because you eat at Chic-fila (however you spell it) or don't personally agree with gay marriage, does not necessarily mean that you hate gay people.  Yes, there are some assholes in this world that literally hate everyone who is different, but I think most of the "conservatives" (gasp) just value tradition and have a right to their own opinion.  But whatever.  

Overall, I was super jealous of Lola's hair!  It was so healthy and shiny for someone who just had bariatric surgery.

On 5/23/2016 at 10:26 AM, dutronc said:

That's the magic of television--no one knows what happened, so it could have been anything. Maybe Lola really thought a confrontational convo with everything on the table was the best approach, being young and earnest. Lola might see the weight loss journey as part of the gender identity journey, and the aunt and uncle might not, no matter how loving they might be. There is probably a lot of baggage that was cut for being not good television or too convoluted or too tl;dr, so we don't know why Lola cared so much, or why the convo lasted four hours. Maybe money or property was involved. Maybe they were all watching informative YouTube clips or broke up the emotional conversation with a round of Yahtzee. We don't know.

Dutronic - i agree.  Also, (from your other comments) I am also looking at the psychological aspect of all of this--same with the hoarders shows too.  I also watch the ghost hunter shows for the exact same reason (hearing noises and seeing ghosts is 100% psychological)

[Texasmom1970]

I know I am awful but every time I hear Lola mentioned in the show this sprang into my mind.

Her name was Lola she was a show girl, she wore yellow feathers in her hair and her dress cut down to there. Can't get it out of my head now!

[momofsquid]

8 minutes ago, Texasmom1970 said:

I know I am awful but every time I hear Lola mentioned in the show this sprang into my mind.

Her name was Lola she was a show girl, she wore yellow feathers in her hair and her dress cut down to there. Can't get it out of my head now!

Me too! When she took the stage at the drag club, I was so hoping she was going to sing Copacabana!

[gunderda]

On 5/24/2016 at 0:21 PM, mmecorday said:

I just hope Lola knows that there's more to being a woman than wearing dresses and makeup. Some of us don't get all gussied up every day unless we have to. Hell, on the weekends I've been known to wear the same T-shirt to bed that I wore during the day.

whaaaaattt that's not considered normal? I do that as much as I can ;)   (but not much during the week because I won't wear my office attire to bed lol)

2 hours ago, notyrmomma said:

IOverall, I was super jealous of Lola's hair!  It was so healthy and shiny for someone who just had bariatric surgery.

I thought that too but it was only at the beginning when she wasn't losing weight.  When she started to lose the weight her hair appeared to be thinner also.

[Guest]

I know I am awful but every time I hear Lola mentioned in the show this sprang into my mind.

Conversely, from the Kinks' Lola:

Well I'm not the world's most physical guy

But when she squeezed me tight she nearly broke my spine
Oh my Lola la-la-la-la Lola
Well I'm not dumb but I can't understand
Why she walked like a woman and talked like a man
Oh my Lola la-la-la-la Lola la-la-la-la Lola

Either way, still an awful choice of names.

Did they cut Pauline's makeover from the Supersized edit of this show? It's conceivable by the end of hour two I no longer was paying attention, but I really don't recall it being broadcast.

[amitville]

On 5/21/2016 at 3:06 PM, new jersey devil said:

Like it or not, the aunt and uncle have an opinion, and they can have that. We may not agree, but thats what freedom is.

I had to laugh out loud at paulie bombshell bitching about her pain. I was shot through the left wrist while in Afghanistan, and I did'nt complain about the pain anywhere near as much as she did. Mean to say, I believe her knees did indeed hurt her after years of that much weight on them. But anyone could see she was developing a pain pill problem.

Thank you for your service

[stillhere1900]

On 5/20/2016 at 7:48 AM, gunderda said:

I

And I 2nd, 3rd, 4th the "really... Lola is the name you chose?"  no offense to any Lola's out there...  but it makes you realize that sometimes people shouldn't be allowed to choose their own name.

I

Hahaha. I like how you said "no offense to any Lola's out here" but are really saying that "Lola" is a terrible name. Hahahaha

[gunderda]

29 minutes ago, stillhere1900 said:

Hahaha. I like how you said "no offense to any Lola's out here" but are really saying that "Lola" is a terrible name. Hahahaha

It's not!  I truly don't think it is.  

I just think it take a certain person to have that name as a chosen name.  Or be born with it because then it obviously fits you. 

[Guest]

I was looking through Lola's Instagram (fact: I have no life) and I'm thinking the show was trying to pull a fast one about her recently coming out as a trans woman. There's a photo of her in a wig and make up with the hashtag, "#ladyboy" that was posted 181 weeks ago and others of her wearing nail polish and a pearl necklace that were, similarly, posted ages ago. I wish the show would stop trying to create drama where none is to be had -- no one in that room was at all surprised when Lola "surprised" them.

[Muffyn]

A survey was done of adoption rates of shelter cats based on their names.  When factoring out the other issues that affect adoption (age, breed, hair color, health issues), cats named Lola were least likely to be adopted/had the longest waiting times before they were adopted.  I kept thinking of this during the episode.  Poor Lola.  She'll be all alone in her cage for such a long time.  Would she be willing to consider Peaches?  Fluffy?  Princess Purrs-a-Lot? 

[notyrmomma]

On 5/28/2016 at 1:43 AM, Muffyn said:

A survey was done of adoption rates of shelter cats based on their names.  When factoring out the other issues that affect adoption (age, breed, hair color, health issues), cats named Lola were least likely to be adopted/had the longest waiting times before they were adopted.  I kept thinking of this during the episode.  Poor Lola.  She'll be all alone in her cage for such a long time.  Would she be willing to consider Peaches?  Fluffy?  Princess Purrs-a-Lot? 

thanks - there's coffee all over my keyboard now!  My personal vote goes for Princess Purrs-a-lot

[SandyToes]

I'm glad to hear Pauline made good progress (and looks great in the photo!).  I'm just catching her episode and if not for the updates I'm reading here, I would have a hard time finding any sympathy.  Her poor son. He looks even larger at the end of the episode, and sadder.   The doctor's comment that Pauline was looking for a "magic pill" was spot on - just give me the surgery, and I can then do whatever I want. Not that she's the only one to think that, for any number of reasons.

[auntjess]

I always think of "Her name was Lola, she was showgirl..."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBixox-5ZfQ

[mamadrama]

On 5/19/2016 at 4:17 PM, Muffyn said:

He really varies in whether or not he accepts that people are in pain.  Pauline is pretty damn horrific, but did they ever send her to an orthopedist to look at her knees?  His contention that overuse of pain killers caused her ulcer was a big red flag to me.  The prescription meds she was asking for, which were more likely opiates, were less likely to cause an ulcer.  By refusing her stronger pain meds, she may have been taking huge quantities of aspirin or ibuprofen which can eat through your stomach lining.  If she is in extreme pain, he should refer her to other doctors who could look for the cause and to a pain clinic.  It always seems like Dr. Now wants to be the one in control of all of a person's medical treatment.  He is a specialist who needs to stop making it all about his patients pleasing him to "qualify" for being treated.    

These episodes show up as My 600 Lb Life on my guide on Wednesday nights.  I can only see that it is actually a Where Are They Now episode when I look at the description.  It's all kind of a mess. 

While I am not a Dr. Now fan (see above rant) I do feel like this is being amped up for TV.  He says it like it's a threat rather than saying I don't think we can help you anymore.  Okay, maybe I spend a lot of time yelling FU at Dr. Now these days.

The pain medicine part bothered me. A lot. Opioids rarely cause ulcers. I know a lot of doctors who believe that, aside from the overdose issue, prefer opioids to NSAIDS and aceamphetamine because they're actually gentler on the digestive system. I am a chronic pain patient (don't want to sound like a broken record, but you all might not know me on this board) due to my incredibly rare, chronic, incurable, and progressive connective tissue disorder. I tried MANY different kinds of pain management treatments over the past decade. Naproxen almost killed me due to the bleeding ulcers it produced.  In fact, because I still have ulcers I had to move onto the "harder stuff" because they are easier on your stomach. I think @Muffyn is probably right-the pain medication Pauline was on was probably not working well enough so she supplemented with "innocent" NSAIDS and it was those over-the-counter pills that caused the issue. And the word is not "addicted," Dr.Now; it is "dependent." Totally different. Your body can become dependent on a medication without your mind becoming addicted. I see a pain management specialist. Pauline should, too. Dr. Now is not trained in pain management to the extent that a chronic pain patient needs. I absolutely believe she was having legitimate pain issues. She might be a pain in the ass, but you know her weight did a number on her legs. Just looking at them could show you that. Now, I DO think she was whining and lazy about not walking or even trying, but I still think the pain was probably real. And hell, that sepsis alone was probably making her feel cruddy. Denying her pain medicine in the hospital was making ME uncomfortable. At least give her a cortisone shot or refer to an orthopedist.

I don't care for Pauline. I rank her up there with Penny. I do think, however, there are some other legitimate medical issues going on that need to be addressed. Dr. Now should not be treated as an overseer for her comprehensive care. Plus, because of the way she's acted in the past he's more or less made his mind up about her and probably won't treat any future issues seriously. It might be time to find someone else. (And I like Dr. Now, for the most part. Not all doctors are good fits for all patients.) 

Edited October 1, 2016 by mamadrama
Guess I had more to say...

[Granny58]

On 5/20/2016 at 2:28 AM, new jersey devil said:

But how many times did he have to mention that his aunt and uncle were very "conservative", and they "would not understand me"? So what? Their opinions are just as valid as this attention seeker. A

Thank you.  Exactly what I said to my son while we watched.

[Granny58]

On 5/20/2016 at 1:40 PM, IvySpice said:

Lola said that her mother was an abusive alcoholic,

Interesting, I didn't catch this in full (didn't see the beginning) but I did wonder, especially given the mom's appearance as a VERY masculine person.  Wonder if Chay is not transgender so much as psychologically scarred and inadvertently trying to fill the lacking feminine in his life.  

[Granny58]

On 5/21/2016 at 1:38 AM, Stripper Glitter said:

Thank you! She looks so different -and better! 

she has a nice face.  I'm glad she's making progress.  

[Granny58]

On 5/22/2016 at 6:20 PM, IvySpice said:

No, we're telling you that it isn't bullying to ask (or even beg!) your loved ones to continue to love you the way they always have regardless of your gender expression. Changing your name and pronouns isn't hurting anyone. They don't have to think their nephew is doing the right thing; they could just care more about whether Chay is happy than about whether she's following their rules. That would mean trusting that Chay knows better than anyone else what's right for her life.

I've seen family members reject each other over religion in more or less the same way. If your kid wants to join the Hare Krishnas or become a citizen of Uruguay, maybe you think that's nuts, but why would't you love him like before? The only reason is because you love your idea of what he's supposed to be more than you love the real person.

If you think that a family member has a mental illness and that they are misguidedly seeking the wrong kind of treatment, then you ought to show that person MORE love and kindness, not less.

do we know what actually was said during the meeting though?  I don't think so...didn't they keep the cameras out?  They MAY have said, we will still love you even if we disagree, and Chay bang on for 4 hours about how they have to accept it too.  No they don't...they only need to be nice.  

[junip]

Chay (Lola) needs our help! 

https://www.gofundme.com/6v5jm-a-new-beginning

Edited March 28, 2017 by junip

[GasparsGirl]

I thought she was Lola now? But Shay when he needs money?

And is it completely out of the question to suggest that Shay isn't equipped to be sure of which pronoun to use when he has a mother where half of us thought she was a man and turns out to be a lesbian and then was raised in an apparently repressive fundy Christian household by a grandfather where Shay/Lola didn't wait for the dust to settle on Grandma's grave to escape? I'm not saying Shola isn't trans/gay/whatever, I'm suggesting that Shola isn't equipped at this point to know what Shola is or what any of his feeling mean.

[frenchtoast]

I don't think anyone is in a position to tell someone they don't have the mental capacity to understand how they identify. She's exploring her identity. Just because she hasn't had the bestest, most perfectest life doesn't mean she's stopped being a human being that deserves the barest minimum of respect. She still deserves her autonomy and identity.

She had chosen Lola, but then went back to Chay as it could taken as both. Like the name Jamie. People change their names pretty easily--I've had 3 last names and I had a loving, supportive, and encouraging family. Between my mom's divorce and my marriage, it worked out to three. But I'd be pretty ticked if someone insisted on calling me the entire name from my birth certificate, essentially erasing my children from my life. 

[DangerousMinds]

Exactly . People should be called what they choose to be called, with respect.