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Comeback Kitchen


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So, everybody's critique at the judgement table was a variation of "Your food is good/great, but you still suck on camera." Great cast to build a competition about being on TV around.

I can't believe Dom wasn't eliminated for his outburst. Didn't Tyler tell him behaving like that was a fireable offense? Except on this show for some reason.

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Dom & Michelle are the only 2 that even cracked the top 3 on their seasons.  Brianna, Penny and Martita were 7th, Chris 8th and Matthew 11th.   Those losers were just brought in to get some viewers and for drama. 

I definitely felt Michelle should have won over Justin "Rebel without a Culinary Clue" Warner.  What an asshat and a total waste of a win. 

I think Michelle is the only one that deserves to be there and hopefully she'll pull it off to get to the regular show.  

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2 hours ago, xaxat said:

I can't believe Dom wasn't eliminated for his outburst. Didn't Tyler tell him behaving like that was a fireable offense? Except on this show for some reason.

Same here. I can't believe they didn't off him right then and there. If nothing else just it was a good "teaching" moment and they just let it go.

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(edited)

I was just watching the Chew and I noticed that they invite viewers to be on camera that cook and talk with ease. I recall seeing at least 4 people on The Chew that I thought FN should have called for an interview.

Why is it so freaking hard for Food Network to find people that are more comfortable on camera?

Edited by CheeseBurgh
Grammar issues
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This is a friend of mine who has done numerous on-air cooking presentations on the morning news shows in Richmond, Norfolk, and other cities. He's applied for this farce of a show and I'm sort of glad he's not being made to jump through the ridiculous hoops that Giada and Bobby think make good TV. Chris is an innovative chef and I've learned so much from his expertise.

 

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More than once, Giada has said something so dumb that I questioned if she can actually cook. I was surprised to find out she was classically trained, even though I know she has had several shows.

I, of course, would never misspeak or say anything dumb if I was being filmed, because I'm perfect. Therefore, it is difficult for me to give her a pass, even though she could most certainly cook me under the table if the chance arrived, which it won't, because I would never be picked to be on television. Everyone else would pale in comparison to my dazzling brilliance. And with that narcissism, I should be on next year! Look for me, all! I plan on swearing my way through the first day, and may set a fire or two. 

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^^^ I would watch the hell out of your show, Christina!   *LOL*  Of course, you'd also have to have to wear stiletto heels, an eye patch and have a  Mediterranean/Asian/ Botswana/Norwegian fusion POV for me to take you seriously as a chef.  

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Penny?  Feh.  If they had to bring back that famewhore, I wish they had also brought back Jill or MaryBeth with her, just so they could pull her wings off.

Or Danushka. Now that? Would have been comedy!

I don't mind Michelle's personal style... I just think she needs a more refined, neater version of it if she wants to appeal to the general public. The pic above with the clean jeans, sweater and scarf is a great example--that is far more appealing than ripped jeans and a plaid, untucked shirt hanging down like the second photo.

Count me in the camp that is bugged by Martita... I also blame Giada for it. All I can see in my mind when I hear her name is Giada's shark teeth overpronouncing her name. Thanks for nothing, LBH!

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Does Dom have nude pictures of someone high up at FN or something? I just do not get why they keep putting him on stuff, he's so freaking boring, and his food is no great shakes. My cynical side thinks they want italian shows (and bbq) because it's easier to get advertisers for sauces and salad dressings with that stuff. I don't even care that he cursed, I just hate that he talks with his hands and it's all I can see.

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I'll give this much to both Penny and Dom: I'm absolutely convinced that both of them are 100% self-aware about why they're there and the roles they're playing.

Penny is the villain. Simple as that. She has no chance, and she knows it. She's there to make everybody dance in the streets when she finally gets eliminated. And she loves it, at this point she's made it her full-blown "tv persona." It's what gets her back on television time and time again. She's damn good at it, and it's probably in no small part due to the fact that she knows that's what she's there for and doesn't have any qualms about "doing that character."

Same with Dom. He's the sad-sack "this guy is just never gonna get it" character who, for whatever reason, (some) people just can't help but root for and continue to believe someday will put it all together despite all indications to the contrary. Whether it's because he's "cute" or that he "seems sweet" or just because you wanna hug him every time he inevitably trips over his own feet. He knows it, he revels in it, and he's more than happy to do that character. In both cases, I think they both know that they're gonna get chance after chance, maximizing their screen time, if only because tee vee rules dictate that the inevitable ultimate fall requires lots of buildup. Their willingness and ability to play those specific roles are what keeps them on FN's casting list for short-term work. And in real life? "Meh, it's just tee vee. that's not really me."

Matthew, on the other hand, I believe is genuinely 100% oblivious. Matthew has clearly missed his true calling (for now, anyway, this could change any day now) as the wannabe actor who's been trying to get "discovered" for the last half-decade while working as a smug, sarcastic waiter at a trendy upscale restaurant. The guy who just can't figure out why nothing ever comes of his auditions, and/or why he's not AT THE VERY LEAST the Executive Chef in the very same kitchen he's currently running plates from. Meantime, surely any day now someone will finally appreciate how cute, quirky, hip, and adorably snarky he is.

A couple weeks ago the ladies at our table decided they wanted to get a bunch of apps and share them among themselves as their "entrees" and so they asked the waiter for recommendations on how best go go about that. Dude replies: "Well, I'd recommend that if you want entrees, you should probably order entrees." With a self-satisfied smirk that just screamed "Aren't I just the cutest, cleverest thing you've ever seen?" Later, and I shit you not, he left business cards at the table with his social media identities and a "Please review me on Yelp!" link at the bottom. Not the establishment, but himself. He wanted us to review HIM on Yelp. He has no idea how much self-control it required for me not to. That guy? Matthew is That Guy.

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Michelle looked great at the final appearance, when they were all lined up to hear who was safe and who wasn't.  She was wearing some kind of glossy silver jacket-shirt over black pants and top.  The jacket emphasized her hair, so the whole look was sort of dramatic and very nice.  (That grrl's a true "winter.")

vinnieprice mentioned Dom talking with his hands--yikes, it's Martita who can't stop waving her hands around with her fingers spread out like frozen starfish.  I can't even hear what she's saying, I'm so mesmerized by the hands.  Maybe it's just first episode tension.

If Penny's playing a role, she needs an Emmy.  She might be playing up the antagonist angle, but I could see her thinking that Valerie Bertinelli needed to shutty because SHE had no business telling HER the tomatoes could have stood up to more salt in HER Middle Eastern stew.  Penny was practically vibrating.  Ha--LOL.

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On May 9, 2016 at 9:04 PM, cooksdelight said:

We can discuss what's been aired here, but no spoilers if you know something that hasn't aired yet.

Personally, I think Dom should have been given the axe the minute he cussed on screen. No way would that fly if the bigger head honchos had been judging this.

Do we consider Giiiiiiaaaaada to be a "bigger head honcho"? Because I am 110% convinced that Dom is the Chosen One to make it to FNS12 because Giada still loves him.  In fact, I think this whole Comeback Kitchen show should simply be called "Dom Gets To Come Back." Blerg.

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3 hours ago, spiderpig said:

Uncle B - does FN have a short list of guaranteed obnoxious contestants on speed-dial that they can bring in to spice up their latest show?  Penny, Matthew, Danushka, Robyn...

Not Uncle B, but I'm convinced they have a whole roster of fame hungry food whores on speed dial.  None of them can get past the professional level of sous chef, so they're always available to fill in a random show at the last minute. 

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Yeah, Leigh...personally I'd enjoy seeing some Chef Nicey McNicefaces given second chances, but I'm not a FN producer. (Edit to add: pleasant, competent chefs but without sob stories,)

Why can't they find another Lidia Bastianich?  She made me feel all warm and fuzzy about food.

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1 hour ago, PamelaMaeSnap said:

Do we consider Giiiiiiaaaaada to be a "bigger head honcho"? Because I am 110% convinced that Dom is the Chosen One to make it to FNS12 because Giada still loves him.  In fact, I think this whole Comeback Kitchen show should simply be called "Dom Gets To Come Back." Blerg.

As soon as I heard about "Comeback Kitchen" I thought it was a gimmick designed to get Dom back into the race, and that was even before I knew he was a contestant!

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17 hours ago, Christina said:

More than once, Giada has said something so dumb that I questioned if she can actually cook. I was surprised to find out she was classically trained, even though I know she has had several shows.

I, of course, would never misspeak or say anything dumb if I was being filmed, because I'm perfect. Therefore, it is difficult for me to give her a pass, even though she could most certainly cook me under the table if the chance arrived, which it won't, because I would never be picked to be on television. Everyone else would pale in comparison to my dazzling brilliance. And with that narcissism, I should be on next year! Look for me, all! I plan on swearing my way through the first day, and may set a fire or two. 

If you set a fire, you're guaranteed to be final three.

Its in the contract, no one bothers to read the entire thing. :)

1 hour ago, Snarklepuss said:

As soon as I heard about "Comeback Kitchen" I thought it was a gimmick designed to get Dom back into the race, and that was even before I knew he was a contestant!

All I thought was "wow, they are really bold about copying Top Chef!"

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(edited)
4 hours ago, spiderpig said:

Why can't they find another Lidia Bastianich?  She made me feel all warm and fuzzy about food.

Lidia is old school, legit.  You would NEVER hear her say something as idiotic as "This is me, on a plate" or "It's a party in your mouth".  *shudder*  Those types of phrases  just make me incredibly stabby.   Those folks were actual chefs, not "brands".  

Edited by leighdear
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8 hours ago, leighdear said:

Lidia is old school, legit.  You would NEVER hear her say something as idiotic as "This is me, on a plate" or "It's a party in your mouth".  *shudder*  Those types of phrases  just make me incredibly stabby.   Those folks were actual chefs, not "brands".  

Lidia is still cooking on PBS, as I'm sure you know.  I watch her every week.  Thank goodness she, Jacques Pepin and Sara Moulton are all still producing shows, although I hear that Jacques' present series may be his last.  Although Lidia does have a slogan, "Tutti a tavola....", and products with her name on them, like pasta and sauce, I know what you mean - These people are excellent chefs first, "personalities" second.  The duds on this show are neither.

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Lidia's son Joe just barely dips under the fame whore wire for me, though I think he might be worse if his mother wasn't such an icon with such high standards.   I think his leaving Master Chef was the smartest thing he could do, though I have no clue if it was his decision or the show's.  

My fave chef of all, Hubert Keller, slides into a few cooking shows here & there, mostly to judge, but thankfully he's never broken my heart and gone full-on Gordon Ramsey level to show off and brand himself.  

I truly think the food comes second to so many of these people, it almost doesn't matter who goes to S12.  But I'm still hoping for Michelle.    

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(edited)

Martita annoys me the least. I was shocked, but not, that Dom made a return. I see he's still not comfortable with the camera, which means he'll make it to the finals. 

Slightly OT . . . granted he's not really my type, but I want to do really dirty things to Tyler Florence.

Maybe it's hormones?

Edited by Surrealist
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Also, I would never have believed that I could actually dislike Matthew more than I did during his season, but I do ... 

As much of a complete asshat-douchenozzle-useyourownfavoritecompoundinsult as he was, I actually sort of believed that he had a remarkable lack of self-awareness and would be mortified when he watched the early episodes and saw how he came off ... and IIRC, when we saw him later it seemed as if that was indeed the case and he'd mellowed out a tiny bit ...

But this season, from that first episode at least, he's even worse, I think, because now not only is he still an insufferable jerk, but it sounds as if he's reciting from a carefully memorized script that's written to sound as if it's impromptu, enunciating every word, over-exaggerating every facial expression.  So he's added a completely new layer of (word I can't think of, damn memory issues, but that lack of sincerity so please feel free to help me remember the word!) to the rest of his awful attributes. 

I'm pretty sure this will come down to a final two of Mar-TEEEEEE-tah and Dom and would not even be surprised if both made it on to FNS. 

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5 hours ago, Surrealist said:

Martita annoys me the least. I was shocked, but not, that Dom made a return. I see he's still not comfortable with the camera, which means he'll make it to the finals. 

Slightly OT . . . granted he's not really my type, but I want to do really dirty things to Tyler Florence.

Maybe it's hormones?

Me too!  When he said something like "make me want to get in the kitchen with you"  I was like "oh, I'd make you want to get in the kitchen with me Tyler Florence! And we will not be cooking!"

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My husband had a female colleague who did some menial task at La Cirque in NYC while in college, and was a very good cook. Tyler had his Food 911 show on at the time, and we used to joke that we needed to make up some food disaster so Tyler could come rescue us.;-)

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On 5/10/2016 at 0:20 PM, spiderpig said:

Uncle B - does FN have a short list of guaranteed obnoxious contestants on speed-dial that they can bring in to spice up their latest show?  Penny, Matthew, Danushka, Robyn...

Well, those are the ones that they know aren't busy.

I hate that this show really does put cooking secondary to personality.  Why would I want to learn to make shitty food from an interesting personality?

Brianna made the most delicious cupcake ever, but goes home to someone who had TWO shitty dishes?

I wish they had brought back that African chef....I think her name may have been Ru?  but that feels wrong.  She was really talented and was making really interesting food....I mean if they are just bringing back people that are still weird on camera, I don't see why she wasn't in the mix.  Honestly, I would have preferred her to Mr. Party Food on the Fly.

I love how Matthew doesn't have any flaws....its not that he isn't good at public speaking...its just he is so smart that his mind is moving too fast!

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3 hours ago, PamelaMaeSnap said:

 So he's added a completely new layer of (word I can't think of, damn memory issues, but that lack of sincerity so please feel free to help me remember the word!) to the rest of his awful attributes. 

I totally get that.  I see a layer of superficiality. Basically he's just saying what he thinks they want to hear. Very contrived and calculated to "check off the boxes".  And he kept hitting the "Char-grilled" phrase, and that was incredibly annoying.  You can't char-grill everything, you tool.  He's just an idiot wearing an asshat suit. 

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2 minutes ago, leighdear said:

I totally get that.  I see a layer of superficiality. Basically he's just saying what he thinks they want to hear. Very contrived and calculated to "check off the boxes".  And he kept hitting the "Char-grilled" phrase, and that was incredibly annoying.  You can't char-grill everything, you tool.  He's just an idiot wearing an asshat suit. 

Oh, I truly believe Matthew is right on every culinary "trend."  Didn't he make mousses in his season...or do something with nitrous to flash freeze?

He is just the most special of snowflakes.....he really is.

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(edited)

Call me a low-info viewer but I was out when I saw Dom's name. 

Matthew adds a whole new level of OUT! I love to hate reality tv "villains" more than most but, Dom, Matthew, Penny... 

I guess I do have limits.

Edited by NewDigs
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I'm thinking I'll just wait til the new season starts and be surprised and most likely disgusted by whomever shows up (anybody but Michelle). 

Though watching with the sound off is my go-to way to minimize the annoyance of having to listen to people I despise.  I can see the food and the cooking techniques, but don't have to listen to the blathering, blithering and dithering.   

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4 hours ago, RCharter said:

Me too!  When he said something like "make me want to get in the kitchen with you"  I was like "oh, I'd make you want to get in the kitchen with me Tyler Florence! And we will not be cooking!"

I wish that I could explain it because Tyler's so not my type, but he gives me dirty thoughts.

For whatever reason, Matthew doesn't annoy me as much. Yet.

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23 hours ago, J-Man said:

I think I'd rather watch Penny and Matthew in a mixed martial arts throwdown.

You've just given me my sob story for Chopped. I need the $10k for the down payment for the PPV stream, and I'll raise the rest by Go Fund Me. I'm gonna be rich!

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Is it just me, or would it be a nice change to see Tyler and Valerie host the entire FNS season 12? I think it makes sense to have a culinary professional and a veteran small screen performer. I know Giada and Bobby know the ropes now on how to present on camera and all, but a pro who initially started outside the food TV industry makes sense. Besides, I liked Valerie and Tyler together. Tyler's facial expressions cracked me up. He could barely conceal his contempt for a lot of the contestants and dishes. While I don't think Valerie is necessarily a cooking champ, she has her own FN show and has judged on several others. She is able to deliver criticism in a kind, but firm manner and it's consistent.

As far as the hapless has-beens, how about "none of the above?" I guess that I could live with Martita. For a limited-run show, she seems to be the most camera-ready and can actually cook. If Chris could pull it together and stay consistent in time, he might be OK. The rest? Just NO. I also don't understand the love affair with Dom. I find him average-looking and abrasive beyond words. If Damiano is already competing, for what I assume will be to fill the Italian cooking void now on FN (since Giada has more or less switched over to California cuisine), why bother with Dom? I wish Tyler and Valerie had sent him home immediately for dropping the f-bomb. Besides, with both Dom and Damiano, Giada would be in a constant state of the vapors. LOL!

I think that Penny will be kept around for a few more rounds to add drama. I didn't care that Beyonce, I mean Brianna, got cut. She's pretty, but seemed very meh in front of the camera.

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When Matthew said that his brain moves faster than his mouth, my first thought was, "Well, maybe if you didn't open your mouth so big, you could talk faster."  If I liked him, I probably wouldn't even notice how wide he opens his mouth when he talks, but I find his personality annoying, so I find everything about him annoying.

On 5/9/2016 at 7:29 PM, annzeepark914 said:

Strange that Valerie is a judge on this show since she just got her first show this past year (although she does have experience in acting and I guess that's what these people are supposed to be doing when they're taping a video).

My guess is that she is a judge because she just got her first show this past year.  Put her in a bunch of FN shows to get people interested in her and give her credibility as a "culinary expert."

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(edited)
2 hours ago, needschocolate said:

When Matthew said that his brain moves faster than his mouth, my first thought was, "Well, maybe if you didn't open your mouth so big, you could talk faster."  If I liked him, I probably wouldn't even notice how wide he opens his mouth when he talks, but I find his personality annoying, so I find everything about him annoying.

Matthew is full of it.   I think it's the other way around - his mouth moves faster than his brain.  Anyone who had the time to think about what they were saying before they said it would never come out with the ridiculous crap I've heard him say.

Edited by Snarklepuss
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4 hours ago, grisgris said:

Is it just me, or would it be a nice change to see Tyler and Valerie host the entire FNS season 12?

I like Valerie but have no use for Tyler.   His assistant creates his recipes and he is only slightly more interesting than cardboard.  

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3 hours ago, wings707 said:

I like Valerie but have no use for Tyler.   His assistant creates his recipes and he is only slightly more interesting than cardboard.  

I agree with you about Tyler, but can you elaborate on his assistant writing his recipes?  I've never heard that before.

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23 hours ago, leighdear said:

And he kept hitting the "Char-grilled" phrase, and that was incredibly annoying.  You can't char-grill everything, you tool.  

It was even worse, he kept saying "Char-Roasted".  Which doesn't even make any fucking sense.

On 5/11/2016 at 11:48 PM, J-Man said:

I think I'd rather watch Penny and Matthew in a mixed martial arts throwdown.

I recall someone saying on the Late Lamented Site that the most entertaining show which could come out of his season would be a half-hour of people walking up and kicking Pie Stahl in the nuts. Now I'm thinking that instead, they should handcuff Penny, Matthew and Zakarian back to back to back on a rotating platform and rather than winning money on other FN shows, the winner can spin the platform as hard as she can and smack all three in the face for as long as it turns.

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(edited)
13 hours ago, Totale said:

It was even worse, he kept saying "Char-Roasted".  Which doesn't even make any fucking sense.

I recall someone saying on the Late Lamented Site that the most entertaining show which could come out of his season would be a half-hour of people walking up and kicking Pie Stahl in the nuts. Now I'm thinking that instead, they should handcuff Penny, Matthew and Zakarian back to back to back on a rotating platform and rather than winning money on other FN shows, the winner can spin the platform as hard as she can and smack all three in the face for as long as it turns.

I believe I suggested that I have a show where I randomly pop out of places and kick Pie Stahl in the nuts.  Sort of like a candid camera style thing.  I think I wanted to call it "Pie Nuts"  like a play on "pinenuts"

Or maybe someone suggested it first and then I just wanted to be on the show....I would pay for that, because that guy was the very worst.

Edited by RCharter
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13 hours ago, Snarklepuss said:

I agree with you about Tyler, but can you elaborate on his assistant writing his recipes?  I've never heard that before.

I know someone who worked with him.  

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What I'm not quite understanding is that there doesn't seem to be enough episodes of this before the premiere of Food Network Star. There's six contestants left, one eliminated next Sunday, leaving 5. Since Comeback Kitchen will air before the premier of FNS on 5/22, that means there are five contestants competing in that last episode for the open spot. Unless there are more episodes - but then you'd have the winner of CK joining FNS after a couple of episodes into the new season which doesn't seem fair. Does anyone know the logistics of this?

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4 minutes ago, Lamb18 said:

What I'm not quite understanding is that there doesn't seem to be enough episodes of this before the premiere of Food Network Star. There's six contestants left, one eliminated next Sunday, leaving 5. Since Comeback Kitchen will air before the premier of FNS on 5/22, that means there are five contestants competing in that last episode for the open spot. Unless there are more episodes - but then you'd have the winner of CK joining FNS after a couple of episodes into the new season which doesn't seem fair. Does anyone know the logistics of this?

I can only imagine that they are trying to copy Top Chef and will have the winner joining mid-competition as a "surprise!" to the regular contestants.

I suspect if it works this season they may go even more Top Chef and have the losers from the regular season join the Comeback Kitchen contestants to duke it out.

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3 hours ago, spiderpig said:

yet I keep watching.  I think the only thing that could keep me away from these shows would be casting a Kardashian. (shudder)

They did that one season on the Apprentice. Lost me forever.

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