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S04.E18: Where Are They Now? Joe


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Seemed like Joe was doing really well. He probably rushed to get engaged a bit...had he ever dated anyone before? His fiancee seems very nice but they didn't seem to know each other very well. Does anyone more Facebook-savvy than me know if the wedding has happened yet, or when it will happen?

I think I remember that he is older than he seems. He seems so young, like early-mid 20s, but I want to say he is in his early 30s. I can't remember from his original episode. His mom sure seemed bothered to "lose" him, though. 

Edited by HalcyonDays
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  • Love 1
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I am surprised they didn't have someone in addition to Joe in this episode.  They really stretched it with the narration.  "I'm going to go meet Sarah.  I'm gonna meet Sarah.  I've never met Sarah in person so I am going to meet her.  I can't wait to meet Sarah. . . . "  It just dragged on. The whole "I arranged a picnic" was pretty funny.   I'd say production arranged a picnic.  It's not like he flew to Iowa, went out and bought a picnic basket, found a park to meet at, etc.  So thanks, production, for picking a park with uneven stairs for him to climb.     

I was surprised at how tiny his girlfriend is.  Either she's wee or he's really tall.  Or both. 

The engagement was weird.  They met on line and talk via Skype.  The conversations we heard were very superficial, although that could be because they were being filmed.  It seems like they would want to spend more time in person before getting engaged.  Was she homebound before losing weight too?  Do they both have arrested development because they were not able to interact with people?  What is he going to do in Dubuque?  Will they immediately live together?  This episode left so many  unanswered questions. 

He did seem to just shuffle mom off at the end.  He packed her up like she was old books and shipped her off.  I know they had a strange, co-dependent relationship.  It seemed rather abrupt. 

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I am glad that Joe is still working on hard on getting healthier. But the getting married to someone you met online and proposed to after for what we saw seeing her once was just odd. Maybe I am too old fashioned and think you should at least go out on a couple of dates before getting hitched.

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I was so bummed that the forums were down last night when this aired.   Agreed that the whole engagement thing was just too rushed and weird.  They seemed so . . . awkward around each other.  When he announced he was going to the jewelry store to buy an engagement ring, I cringed.  I thought for sure she was going to run for the hills, seeing how awkward their previous meeting and skype sessions appeared.  Dude, you don't marry the first girl that you date - dial it back some!

I checked him and his girlfriend out on Facebook.  No mentions, or pictures, of a wedding and her FB status still says engaged.  She has kids from a previous relationship, one of whom, a baby, sadly died recently.  Lots of screenshots of lovey dovey texts between the two of them (that shit does not belong on FB!) - seriously, they act like they're in high school. I definitely get a hillbilly vibe from the both of them.

Edited by flappa1016
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Did anyone else notice the difference in the skin removal between his episode and Zsalynn's?  The contrast was astounding - he looked like Dr. Frankenstein after his surgery, while Zsalynn's scars were far less noticeable.  As has been mentioned here before, Dr. Now is like a butcher when he goes to town on these people.

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Joe has always been an odd one to me.....and he shows up with a thirty-one bag.... and side hugs his mom....

oh and i guess his favorite color blue.... blue shirts all day, every day, many in the same style.  The blue polo was a nice switch at the end.

Sarah also apparently didn't drive to the picnic... they left together... which was kinda weird..

maybe production picked her up and dropped her off so that she knew it was legit

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2 hours ago, ClareWalks said:

Seemed like Joe was doing really well. He probably rushed to get engaged a bit...had he ever dated anyone before? His fiancee seems very nice but they didn't seem to know each other very well. Does anyone more Facebook-savvy than me know if the wedding has happened yet, or when it will happen?

I think I remember that he is older than he seems. He seems so young, like early-mid 20s, but I want to say he is in his early 30s. I can't remember from his original episode. His mom sure seemed bothered to "lose" him, though. 

 

Joe is getting married in August.

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I just received this from Joe two minutes ago...as a person who has been married for forty years and never took a dime from anyone through some pretty hard times not of our making, I don't know how to feel about this Gofundme idea.

"

Sarah and I have come so far in our journeys both in weightloss and also to rebuild our self esteems. We have dedicated our lives to love and to also helping other people with their weightloss journeys. So much has happened from Sarah losing her son Brayden, to her losing her home and having to move in with her mother temporarily, to other battles that we both continue to fight daily. We have decided even through all of this that we wish nothing but to spend the rest of our lives together. We have been paying what we can as we go on the wedding and honeymoon but with money getting tighter every day it has become hard to do so. 

What this campaign is going to do is help us finish off the wedding expenses and then also I would like to have enough money so that we could put a down payment down on our first home. After so much loss and drama for both Sarah and her daughter I want to be able to help them get into a stable home so we can focus on starting our lives and also being the support her daughter deserves.  Anything you can donate will be greatly appriciated (sic) and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. If you cannot donate, then will you please at least share this campaign on your social media pages so that we can get as much exposure to this as possible? 

Thank you all so much for your time today and much love to you all!"

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I missed the original "Joe" episode so this might have been addressed then, but did he have any kind of job? Although he selected a modest engagement ring for Sarah, I wondered how he could afford ANY ring at all. And to just stop in at a jewelry store in a town you've never been to before, the same day you're going to "pop the question", in the hopes that you'll find something affordable seemed very unbelievable to me. Perhaps that store donated or deeply discounted the ring in exchange for the mention on national TV. And who paid for those TWO seats on the plane? I was also surprised at seeing Sarah in person after the Skype calls, she looked a lot different with those thick glasses. 

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I was kind of shocked that Joe had any interest in Sarah. I thought he was gay.

The entitlement of these types of GoFundMes is amazing.

Right?I won't be adding a dime to Joe's wedding beg-a-thon. Get a job, dude! If he wants to get married so badly, he can go to the courthouse and do it for like, $25.

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A GoFundMe for a wedding and a down payment on a house?  Sheesh!  Joe has a set of brass ones, doesn't he?  Were we all supposed to be overwhelmed by the great love we saw on TV?  Because I saw two people who barely know each other gushing about their great love (he did; she didn't have much to say beyond "Not too bad" whenever asked how she was doing). 

I am a wedding officiant.  I agree with those who say have the wedding you can afford. I recently did a wedding I absolutely loved.  The couple had a small ceremony in the park and a pot luck picnic.  A friend made a two tier cake.  I was paid in cookies (The groom made them - delicious!).  Joe and Sarah don't need anything fancy.  I noticed a mention of a honeymoon.  That can wait until they can afford it.  That's how most people do it.

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4 hours ago, flappa1016 said:

Did anyone else notice the difference in the skin removal between his episode and Zsalynn's?  The contrast was astounding - he looked like Dr. Frankenstein after his surgery, while Zsalynn's scars were far less noticeable.  As has been mentioned here before, Dr. Now is like a butcher when he goes to town on these people.

Yeah, he looked horrible, but I'm trying to chalk it up at least partially to the fact that he still weighed over 400 lbs at the time if I'm recalling correctly and stated that there would have to be another surgery later, so fingers crosses that this one didn't have to look good because the next one fixes it all...

Interesting that they never mentioned the fiancé's children during the episode. Probably because they didn't want us all judging them even more harshly because they are doing this freakishly fast engagement when there are children involved, which makes it even more stupid.  Seems to me that at the very least, Joe should try living on his own for a while, having been dependent on his mom for so long.

And just "wow" to the GoFundMe...I guess sharing your life on TV for the world to see is not very lucrative?

  • Love 5
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no money = no big wedding and definitely no honeymoon. 

 

I really hate what gofundme has become. 

And if they're living in Dubuque the cost of living is pretty low.  They can find an affordable apartment.  They don't need a house right away.

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Guest dutronc

Oh wow, this episode. I, too, thought Joe was gay, and I cringed through the whole courtship/engagement sequence because it was a disaster in slow motion. Sarah seems to have a lot of chaos in her life, too, so maybe Joe is a nice escape hatch, except he doesn't seem to have anything to offer in terms of long-term stability, although I think he owned his house in Tennessee. I wonder if there's rental income. 

I don't fault him for breaking up with his mother. Leave alone the whole "what is actually real?" question, I recall them having a kind of messed-up dynamic in his original episode, to the point where he gained weight when she moved in with him.

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The information on my TV said that Charity was going to be in this episode. Joe was pretty boring to watch. 

Why did he go to Iowa when he keeps losing strength in his legs? He fell a lot and at his weight, everytime he falls it's really dangerous. He obviously wasn't ready and he knew that. 

 

I noticed that a lot of the people on this show get engaged/ married really quickly. 

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In this episode they made it look like Joe's mom uses her wheelchair fulltime, as in she can no longer walk.  I thought in the original episode she used it occasionally; that is, if she needed to go a long distance or would be out for a long time but not around the house.  Also, while she was always heavy, she seemed to have continued to pack on more weight.  Of course, if she is no longer mobile, that makes it much harder to keep weight down. But given their weird dynamic, it all feels a little skeevy.  

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1 hour ago, Suzy123 said:

The information on my TV said that Charity was going to be in this episode. Joe was pretty boring to watch. 

Why did he go to Iowa when he keeps losing strength in his legs? He fell a lot and at his weight, everytime he falls it's really dangerous. He obviously wasn't ready and he knew that. 

 

I noticed that a lot of the people on this show get engaged/ married really quickly. 

I think Charity was supposed to be updated in this episode. They only finished taping last week and if I remember correctly Charity was having "issues" (no one elaborated) and they may have not had enough material to complete it. Her daughter Charly (who has lost a lot of weight and looks wonderful) mentioned depression as an ongoing issue with Charity.

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So Joe was never one of my favorites and I was a mixture between bored and skeeved during this episode.  The whole relationship seemed just seemed off, like I figured as soon as the cameras were off, she was going to run the other direction...I did not see any chemistry there at all.  But apparently not, in light of the whole Go Fund Me campaign.  Have they raised any money? (Go Fund Me can be good for certain things, like my son's classmate lost his 3 year old brother to a sudden and unexplained death and the father (ex husband) is being an ass and won't help the mother pay for a burial, so they put up a Go Fund Me campaign so people from our school could have an easy (and anonymous) way to donate if we wanted).  I also didn't realize she had kids as she looks like a kid herself.  It's very sad that she lost one, but that last thing, AND I MEAN THE LAST THING, as a mom with small kids, I would do is marry (or let move in) some dude I met on the internet and only met in person once. I know that we "know Joe" from this show, but how do we know he's not a child molester and just wants to be close to her so he could have easier access to the kids?  That shit happens all the time.  

And I am all for adult children putting on their big boy pants and moving away from momma, but what he did was harsh.  If he was so close to momma, she should have known about the engagement before the girl did--seems like something one would talk over with the parent that they live with.  The whole episode was just weird this week.

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Joe is in for a world of pain.  Pathetic is a word that comes to mind. When I watched Sarah, and him chow down on big plates of cheesy pasta, I thought, he's gonna balloon up again after the reality of marriage sets in.  Then reading on here that he's begging for money infuriates me. Put on the big boy pants and get an effin' job.  Go to the courthouse, get married, and rent a place, and get to work.. Joe is very delusional when it comes to life skills in general. And Sarah is going to have another child to look after.

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6 hours ago, MaggieMay638 said:

I just received this from Joe two minutes ago...as a person who has been married for forty years and never took a dime from anyone through some pretty hard times not of our making, I don't know how to feel about this Gofundme idea.

"

Sarah and I have come so far in our journeys both in weightloss and also to rebuild our self esteems. We have dedicated our lives to love and to also helping other people with their weightloss journeys. So much has happened from Sarah losing her son Brayden, to her losing her home and having to move in with her mother temporarily, to other battles that we both continue to fight daily. We have decided even through all of this that we wish nothing but to spend the rest of our lives together. We have been paying what we can as we go on the wedding and honeymoon but with money getting tighter every day it has become hard to do so. 

What this campaign is going to do is help us finish off the wedding expenses and then also I would like to have enough money so that we could put a down payment down on our first home. After so much loss and drama for both Sarah and her daughter I want to be able to help them get into a stable home so we can focus on starting our lives and also being the support her daughter deserves.  Anything you can donate will be greatly appriciated (sic) and I thank you all from the bottom of my heart. If you cannot donate, then will you please at least share this campaign on your social media pages so that we can get as much exposure to this as possible? 

Thank you all so much for your time today and much love to you all!"

They need money to rebuild their 'self esteems' eh?   How about grabbing a clue, and get a JOB.  My self 'esteems' comes from having 'self respects'. ?

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19 hours ago, magemaud said:

I missed the original "Joe" episode so this might have been addressed then, but did he have any kind of job? Although he selected a modest engagement ring for Sarah, I wondered how he could afford ANY ring at all. And to just stop in at a jewelry store in a town you've never been to before, the same day you're going to "pop the question", in the hopes that you'll find something affordable seemed very unbelievable to me. Perhaps that store donated or deeply discounted the ring in exchange for the mention on national TV. And who paid for those TWO seats on the plane? I was also surprised at seeing Sarah in person after the Skype calls, she looked a lot different with those thick glasses. 

I believe he worked in IT before he became housebound.

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I figured the whole Sarah thing was just for T.V.--a showmance if you will; it's not unheard of on reality tv.  But I guess it's real *shrug*.  I've seen this happen before--people loose a lot of weight or go thru some major crisis in their life and then they marry the next person they look at.  Enh if it's a mistake it's his to make....

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15 hours ago, Suzy123 said:

I noticed that a lot of the people on this show get engaged/ married really quickly. 

Agreed.  I think that for many of those on this show, especially those that have been superobese since childhood/adolescence, they are acting out their first loves that most of us experience during high school.  I think it's common for every teen to think that the first person they date in high school will be "the one" that they spend the rest of their lives with.  Most of the folks on this show missed that part of their lives so combining first love with the fact that they are now adults and adults get married, engagement is the natural progression of things.

I worked with a woman who was in a similar situation.  She was in her late 30s when she finally lost a lot of weight, but she had no real social skills.  She met a guy online (who was barely out of his teens - she lied about her age of course, making herself out to be in her mid to late 20s) and they acted like teenagers in love - constant texts and giggling phone calls and making life plans (all done at work - I can only imagine what went on when she wasn't at work).  She gained all of her weight back during their online relationship, yet she still put herself out to be the skinny person she was when they first met.   Seriously, how can you think that a real relationship will result from a fiasco where you can't even admit to the person that you are 15 years older than you purport to be, and if you can't send current pictures or skype because you don't want him to see how much you really weigh?  There was a lot of eye rolling going on amongst my co-workers over this relationship, and a few of us speculated that she had psychological issues that left her a perpetual teenager that was reflected in other aspects of her personal and professional life.  Imagine how much of a treat it became to work with her after her online love found someone local to him that was close to his own age and dropped her like a hot potato.

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I caught the last half of the show.   At first I though he was female, at least his face looks female.   He seems to have a spoiled attitude or maybe he is delayed ?

The proposal was very awkward and he should not have been eating that meal.

As for his Go Fund Me idea.....go F yourself.    Grow up, get a job and become a responsible adult.

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I, too, was skeeved by this whole "relationship".  Sure, Skype with someone for a few months, meet her in real life once, and then ask her to marry you!  I'm sure you'll have a lovely long marriage with no problems what-so-ever.  And also, by the way, dump your severely disabled mom, who took care of you for years, on your poor sister.  After all, YOU have a life to live.  Your sister?  Not so much now.  And what kind of woman is so desperate to get married that she accepts a proposal from someone - who has no job and no life skills - that you've only met once or twice?  There's definitely something off about Sarah as well.  Why do they have to live in Iowa?  Does Sarah have a job there?  Does her baby daddy live there and she's court-mandated to stay in the state?  Why did she lose her home?  Why is her only option to move back with her family?  Can she not afford an apartment of her own?

I agree with y'all - Joe needs to get a job first, and pay for his own wedding and apartment.  Guess what, Joe - you don't NEED a house.  Rent a house or an apartment and you'll STILL be upgrading from that dingy hovel you and your mamma lived in in Houston.  Does he really think he'll get enough from his Go-Fund-Me site to make house payments as well?  They're both delusional.

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Talk about chutzpah! 
Get a job, get married at the courthouse.
As a faithful watcher of Four Weddings, I am appalled at the amount of money that people spend on weddings, and as a DIY network watcher, I'm appalled by people who go cheap on inspections and repairs so that they can afford to "get married."  Hey's it's $50 or so.
Also, I was curious about GoFundMe because one was set up for a former co-worker with chronic and ultimately fatal, health problems, and I wondered about the safety of the money.
The GoFundMe reviews find some people who are unhappy, so if think of setting one up, read the reviews and find print first.

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I'm really disappointed in Joe because I was so moved by him in the first episode and I wanted all the best for him.  Unfortunately, I don't like the turn this has made, with dumping momma and Gofundme, etc.  I see no reason why momma couldn't be part of the package.

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I agree with everyone who said this "relationship" between these two was awkward. I figured Sarah had children because I heard a baby crying during their Skype chat. And Joe's mother said something about whether or not he was ready to be a husband and father. 

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that dingy hovel you and your mamma lived in in Houston...

I meant to comment on that earlier.  All the security barriers made the place look scary, and worse than anywhere I've ever seen them place people.
When he told his mother to say goodbye to the apartment, didn't she say "thank heavens," or something like that?

I assume that TLC handles that.

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On April 29, 2016 at 9:44 AM, Cherrio said:

I caught the last half of the show.   At first I though he was female, at least his face looks female.   

I thought the same thing but could not really figure out what made his face seem feminine to me.

i also thought he had a strong resemblance to the actor/comedian Louie Anderson

image.jpeg

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I think the feminine face is due to just the sheer size of him (very fat faces tend to look more feminine because the features aren't sharp) and the fact that super-obese men produce more estrogen and less testosterone. 

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Guest dutronc

I think in Joe's case, he also had 'pretty' features like long eyelashes on bright blue eyes, and a face that's rounder than longer--he would probably have many feminine attributes at a lower weight. James and some of the other male patients presented as more typically masculine even at their sizes.

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(edited)

Joe is not ready to be a husband. He has a romanticized, unrealistic idea of what a relationship should be ...likely because he spent several years isolated and dependent on other people. Instead of asking for money for a wedding, honeymoon and home, he should have been found work and become financially stable before even thinking of proposing. Joe choosing not to tell his mother that he was engaged, or that he was planning to propose, was telling. He knew his mother would probably attempt to talk some sense into him, and he didn't want to hear it.

I agree with the other posters who felt Joe basically dumped his mother off after proposing to Sarah. She dropped everything to take care of him and live in less than ideal conditions. Dumping mom on his sister made it appear that he didn't truly appreciate everything his mother has done for him. 

Overall, he strikes me as somewhat selfish and immature. Joe and Sarah need to slow down.... postpone the wedding, get their lives and finances in order, and then decide if they're ready for marriage. 

 


 

Edited by sunshine85
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Joe wants $20K donated to him for... Why?

Sheesh, I need to set up a GoFundMe for all of my wants too.  

The relationship was awkward as are the beginning of every relationship that starts online.  They really need to spend lots of time offline getting know each other since many online relationships are distorted since you can self edit and present the best of you.  

It would be far better for him to get a job and plot how he plans to support his growing family.

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Has a job been even mentioned?
On Facebook, there's a fan 600lb page, with lots of rules and caveats, but no official one.
I think it's for true believers, like Nicole Curtis' page, and you'd be pilloried for criticism there.
They do say he has a public FB page, but take time to look for it.

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I really think Joe thought he was a 200 lb person when he went to meet Sarah.  For example, the way he walked thru the airport when  his feet couldn't keep up with his body & he ultimately fell.  I thought he said something like the long walk thru the airport was the first time he had walked that distance without sitting.  Why didn't he just take a rest break?  I'm sure it was embarrassing & was amazed they got him up as quickly as they did. (?editing) And then knowing the steps at the picnic area were treacherous, he tries to bound up them & again trips/falls.  Luckily his spine fracture(s) could easily be fixed but he could have really done worse by breaking a leg or hip that would have had a longer recuperation time.  It would have been nice if they would have given us more info on Sarah's weight loss (or did they & I missed it?)

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(edited)

I don't have a problem with Joe moving on with his life.  It's not anymore unfair to his sister for her to take care of Mom than vs Joe, because Joe has just as much right to a life as anyone. That being said,  he didn't handle it very diplomatically.  Unless it was a reenactment,  I think he could have dumped his mom much gentler.  He might as well have said  "welp! Gotta go!" lol! 

It was way too fast,  and I also got the impression that she might  peace out after filming.  After reading her Facebook,  things made more sense-- they're two similar moths drawn to a flame.  

As for Joe being childlike,  I think Sarah isn't much different.  Reading through the Facebook comments,  she's quick to aggressively stake her claim to Joe ( back off! He's MY boyfriend!!!)  almost anytime a female of any type (young,  cute,  grandmother,  married, etc) so much as compliments him.  When one happily-married grandmother nicely called Sarah out,  Sarah said that while she may have misunderstood in that case ,  she gets sick of women complimenting Joe,  or as she worded it,  (paraphrasing) throwing themselves at him,  hitting on him,  trying to get with him. It was all very childish and beyond middle school-ish. 

Edited by Scorpiosunshine
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1 hour ago, Scorpiosunshine said:

 As for Joe being childlike,  I think Sarah isn't much different.  Reading through the Facebook comments,  she's quick to aggressively stake her claim to Joe ( back off! He's MY boyfriend!!!)  almost anytime a female of any type (young,  cute,  grandmother,  married, etc) so much as compliments him.  When one happily-married grandmother nicely called Sarah out,  Sarah said that while she may have misunderstood in that case ,  she gets sick of women complimenting Joe,  or as she worded it,  (paraphrasing) throwing themselves at him,  hitting on him,  trying to get with him. It was all very childish and beyond middle school-ish. 

Maybe this is because I am in my 30s and very secure with myself and my husband, but if a woman (or a man) complimented my husband or even said he was hot, I'd be super-flattered. That said, I seriously, strongly doubt that so many women are "throwing themselves" at Joe. Sarah might see something like "great job, you look awesome" and think "she's trying to take my man!" Dingbat.

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23 hours ago, ClareWalks said:

Maybe this is because I am in my 30s and very secure with myself and my husband, but if a woman (or a man) complimented my husband or even said he was hot, I'd be super-flattered. That said, I seriously, strongly doubt that so many women are "throwing themselves" at Joe. Sarah might see something like "great job, you look awesome" and think "she's trying to take my man!" Dingbat.

Same here-- I agree on everything you said. 

I'll even add that it would be a total turn-off to me if a man acted that way when other men looked at or complimented me.  My ex always took it as a compliment,  would say that he totally understood it,  why wouldn't others find me attractive,  and that those men were seeing only  a fraction of what he saw both inside and out (awww, lol) .  It was the same for me with women being attracted to him. Jealousy won't make a person faithful. 

Besides,  I agree that Sarah was tilting at windmills.  

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I also thought Joe was gay.  I'm so confused!

I didn't just think he was gay; I thought he was possibly genderqueer. He seems so effeminate to me.

You've said it all as far as the absurdity of a gofundme campaign for a wedding/honeymoon. These aren't birthrights. If you can't afford them, you shouldn't get them.

  • Love 5
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Just started watching. Sarah said she was walking 4 miles a day and he can barely walk across an airport. This guy has never been touched by a woman besides his mom or a nurse, I would think a woman could really take advantage of him but then again it's not like they are going to use him for his money.

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