Long Lost Family - General Discussion

[ElleMo]

22 minutes ago, TiredMe said:

 I'm gonna speak frankly. It was gross. And I feel dirty for having watched that disgusting exploitive mess. 

Yes!

Edited April 28, 2017 by ElleMo

[VioletNevermind]

12 hours ago, TiredMe said:

That two sons story seemed off to me a bit too. But then I assumed it was abuse and she ran for her life. Felt sorry for the two brothers though.

regarding the live shows. I'm gonna speak frankly. It was gross. And I feel dirty for having watched that disgusting exploitive mess. 

I've been trying to put into words exactly how I felt about these shows.  Thanks for doing it for me.  I do think that in different hands, this could have been much, much better and may have felt less icky, but we all know that TLC is the master of exploitation.  Interestingly, the TLC Facebook page's comments are chock-full of people praising the shows, but I've learned to take that kind of crap with a truckload of salt.   

[Quof]

I recorded the final 3 episodes, and found myself so annoyed by the long "promos" for the Live show, and the jumping back and forth, that I erased them without finishing.   God, I hope this was a one time thing.

ETA SuzyLee, you will find me on their FB page telling them the show sucked donkey balls and to knock it off.

Edited April 28, 2017 by Quof

[Joanne]

Something doesn't ring true about the mother believing her 2 sons were with their grandfather. If that were the case and she never tried to contact them then that was abandonment. Also, her story about Children's services just showing up and taking the twins is very odd. There had to be more to it than that. 

[iMonrey]

Quote

I do feel bad for the mom.  There was not much help for domestic violence back then and she had little recourse.  It's hard enough today  but back then there were no shelters she could take 5 kids to to escape her husband and she likely had no money and perhaps no skills to get a job.

That's true enough and I want to give her the benefit of the doubt that she believed she was leaving her sons in the care of a benevolent grandparent. Unfortunately there's really no conceivable reason why should wouldn't have any contact with them afterwards. She had to have known the grandparent's phone number. Even if her ex husband took the kids back she could still reach out through the grandparents, Bottom line, she just didn't want to have anything to do with them.

[Kelly]

1 hour ago, Joanne said:

Something doesn't ring true about the mother believing her 2 sons were with their grandfather. If that were the case and she never tried to contact them then that was abandonment. Also, her story about Children's services just showing up and taking the twins is very odd. There had to be more to it than that. 

I agree.  I wonder what the real truth is.  I was vacillating between feeling sorry for the mother...and then feeling frustrated/annoyed that she was clearly covering her ass. 

[ATLGirl]

On April 26, 2017 at 5:27 PM, Mom2twoNonna2one said:

My ggfather was also hateful to his youngest son because he suspected he wasn't his. However, he looks just like my ggfather.  His father married his son's exwife and went on to father several kids with her. So my ggfather was the uncle and brother to the same kids. And no, we are not from the south. 

It goes on everywhere. I know you're just making a harmless joke but as someone who lives in the South (and not even a native), the joke gets old really fast. I have a friend who moved to Seattle. He told me someone actually asked him if we wore shoes and they were serious. 

Edited April 29, 2017 by ATLGirl

[crazycatlady58]

I had someone who moved to Texas tell me they were surprised when the got here we did not all ride horses to work ,  and I live just outside  of Houston . 

[stormy]

In the Meghan episode, birth mom Merriann was adopted. I wonder if she ever looked for her birth mom.

[Mom2twoNonna2-3]

Well I grew up in Florida. So I didn't mean to offend. However, it's funny that, although I doubt he physically abused him, but, I can't be sure because he did physically abuse my grandfather, the particular son resembled him in looks and manners the most.

Which episode was Meghan's? They all start to run together to me.

[bybrandy]

Meghan was the one whose birth mom joined the army and had a kid and then came home and married the birth dad and had a couple of more kids.  They seemed like a nice couple.  

Part of the reason she chose adoption was because her adoption story was so rough and she didn't feel like she could bring a baby into that house.  I was impressed that she had faith that she was having a uniquely bad experience and her daughter could still get a better deal from the adoption.  

[Snarklepuss]

On 4/27/2017 at 1:00 PM, iMonrey said:

It would almost have had to be the paternal grandparents. If it were her own parents why would she have had zero contact with them? But even assuming she left Tim and Ron with her husband's parents, there's really no excuse for why she never had any contact with them afterwards. I think she just wanted to abandon all connections to her former life including her own children.

I just caught up with this and have been thinking of a couple of possible scenarios that would make the whole thing make sense.

One is that she ran away with another man who didn't want her to bring all those kids with her and told her she should just forget the past and start over with him, and being abused, alone, without money and looking for an escape route she was in no position to argue.

The other is that she was broke, unable to cope after being in an abusive relationship and perhaps an alcoholic, and that's why Social Services pressured her into giving up kids for adoption, because she wasn't taking care of them properly.  I'm thinking that they wanted to take them all away but rather than give all of them up for adoption she left some with the grandfather.  And drinking might have been a way to escape the pain of her abuse and bury the past from her consciousness because it was all like one big nightmare she just wanted to forget.  Unfortunately the kids were a part of that painful past and would have been a painful reminder to her that she could not handle.  She probably never got help for that so it turned into never contacting them again.

[Snarklepuss]

On 4/26/2017 at 2:40 PM, Koalagirl said:

I'm as we speak having a "find my family moment."  Was contacted the other day through Ancestry by a DNA first cousin match who is an adoptee looking for her birth family.  All she has is date of birth, where she was born and the name given to her at birth.  Private adoption and the lawyer who handled and was a part of her adoptive family has passed away.  I cross referenced her match with another cousin of mine to determine if she is on maternal or paternal side.  I've narrowed it down that she is possibly the half sibling of one of my other first cousins which would mean one of my uncles had a little sideline going 59 years ago. The other really crazy thing is that the adoptee's last name given to her at birth is the same last name  as my cousin's husband (the cousin who might be her half sister).  And, to make it even crazier the adoptee's middle name is the same name as her possible half-sister.  Sounds like a Jerry Springer moment, doesn't it.

I had something similar happen several years ago.  Before Autosomal DNA tests were marketed widely I had my father take a YDNA test through Ancestry.com and he got matched within 2 generations to a man about my age out in California that was adopted, although he grew up with his birth mother until the age of 9 or so, when she gave all her kids up for adoption (I think) to different families.  She was a welfare mother with mental issues who had 5 kids with about 3 different men living not more than 30 miles away from where I grew up.  I called Ancestry.com and they told me he could theoretically be the son of one of my father's uncles or cousins, or even his son or one of his siblings son's (although he has no siblings that he knows of, anyway).  He could have even been the son of my grandfather, although he was already quite old by then and living down south so that's very doubtful. 

Anyway it was complicated because the guy was half black so when he sent me a photo I didn't see any particular resemblance to anyone on my father's father's side (which is his Jewish side).  He was a very nice man, and when we spoke he told me he suspected he might be half white, but never Jewish!  He was shocked!  His wife told me she had always assumed he was half Hispanic or something like that.  Anyway, my father said there was no way this man could be his son, and I believe him because at the time he was born my dad was never in the area where the mother lived and it just wouldn't have been "him" to cheat on my mother at that time or really ever.  Plus the man said he was introduced to a man when he was very little that he was later told by his aunt was his father, who worked at a local tavern, so it couldn't have been my father.  And the older men on my father's Jewish side were all doctors, lawyers and accountants, not working at a bar.  Plus they were all kind of conservative Jews who were very upright types for the most part, although my father did remember one wild cousin he thought could have been the culprit because his family lived in the same area where this guy came from and he would have been young at the time and probably in his wider phase.  After a brief time of contact I lost touch with the man but I am still Facebook friends with his wife.  I think he decided he's probably better off not pursuing this any further given what he learned from me.  I felt sorry for him but his wife told me he's really OK with it as-is.  I sometimes wish he would take an autosomal DNA test so we can learn more, but it's his choice.  Plus I think we're all kind of afraid of what the truth really is.

[Momof2boyz]

On 4/25/2017 at 7:36 PM, ElleMo said:

IIRC, I think that you are confusing two different shows.  The woman and her husband who were searching for the child they conceived when they were in their teens;  she joined the military, had a child with a black man, then came back home and got back together with father of first born and they had kids together.  Not sure how many kids but two different fathers and all the kids that were kept were younger that the one adopted out.

 

Abbi was a different episode.  Mom has died, grandma and sisters were looking.  UsernameFatigue correctly described the family above. 

 

I could be wrong but that is what I remember.

Yes, Megan was the one with the mixed race half sister.  The parents had Megan, gave her up for adoption, then mom had another daughter with someone else and kept her (the mixed race girl obviously), later reconnected with Megan's father, married him and had two more kids, a boy and girl.  Abbi's mother is the one who had babies by three different men.  She had a daughter already (the red haired girl), got pregnant again and couldn't afford to keep the baby (Abbi, though they had called her April) and gave her up for adoption.  Later, married and had three more kids though we only met one girl.  She died when the kids were young in a car accident and grandma had gotten custody of them all and had been looking for Abbi.

[Momof2boyz]

On 4/27/2017 at 1:00 PM, iMonrey said:

As for Betty and Bobby - is Bobby maybe a little slow?

 

Yes, I definitely picked up on that.

[iMonrey]

They've been re-running these constantly lately. The one with the eldest sister looking for her baby sister Monica ("They said we were too young") was on last night. There are always so many pieces of the puzzle they never bother to explain. In this case, there were at least five children, and when the two sisters finally had their reunion, the elder sister showed the younger a picture of them when they were kids, and two of the faces were blurred out. So apparently they either didn't or couldn't get permission from two of the kids to show their faces, which made me wonder if maybe they didn't even bother trying or whether two of them outright refused, or whether they had no idea where they were. If I'd been Monica, my first question would have been where the heck are all my other brothers and sisters? It seemed likely they were all scattered. Or, maybe some of them were in prison or something. 

[Toothbrush]

I was wondering the same thing about Monica's birth family, and I would guess with several other siblings the reasons vary. I hope that it was just a matter of some of the siblings wanting to reunite with Monica, but preferring to do so off-camera and remaining anonymous. But with the tumultuous upbringing they had, who knows. Both Monica & her sister (whose name I have forgotten - Mary Frances? ) seem like lovely women and I hope they have remained in each other's lives. I felt so bad for the older sister because of the guilt she carried for so many years; at least Monica grew up in a living home, which has hopefully eased that guilt.

[Blergh]

Interesting one re Monica. What was a bit surprising was that they lived just two miles apart! I find it very hard to believe that in all that time they had NEVER once crossed paths with each other (much less had no mutual friends, colleagues,etc.). What would be more likely is that one or both had given up on the idea of the other seeking much less finding each other to the point that each of them refused to believe that a random face in the crowd (or a friend-of-a-friend with the same name as their longlost sis) could be said longlost sis.

[iMonrey]

Understandably, these shows prefer to focus on the happy reunions. But sometimes the omissions are rather glaring. If I were to find out who my birth mother was, I'm pretty sure the first or second question out of my mouth would be "so who's my father?" Yet this issue is rarely addressed, at least on-camera. Clearly, Monica and her sister had different fathers - in fact all five children probably had different fathers, given the proclamation that their mother put men (plural) first over her children. Be we don't hear Monica asking her sister if she knows who her father is and whether he's still alive. All we get is "we found each other, yay!" 

I hope they do more of those "what happened next" follow-ups. They were sadder but felt more honest.

[Mrs. Hanson]

On 5/9/2017 at 7:56 AM, Momof2boyz said:

Yes, Megan was the one with the mixed race half sister.  The parents had Megan, gave her up for adoption, then mom had another daughter with someone else and kept her (the mixed race girl obviously), later reconnected with Megan's father, married him and had two more kids, a boy and girl.  Abbi's mother is the one who had babies by three different men.  She had a daughter already (the red haired girl), got pregnant again and couldn't afford to keep the baby (Abbi, though they had called her April) and gave her up for adoption.  Later, married and had three more kids though we only met one girl.  She died when the kids were young in a car accident and grandma had gotten custody of them all and had been looking for Abbi.

This one was heartwarming and all, but the bio dad made a comment that bugged me regarding Megan:  "That was a child we didn't get to raise!"  Dude, you and your girlfriend were what, 15 and 16 respectfully?  YOUR PARENTS WOULD HAVE RAISED HER!    It is so easy to romanticize the past but the reality was:  you were 15 and impregnated your 16 yr old girlfriend.   You were Mr. Jock and you were going to give up your football and baseball games for diapers and feedings?  Doubt it.  Also, he struck me as the jock who never wanted to give up the high school jock life.  (Sorry but he is a coach at the school!)  

Abbi/April - your birth mother....hmm.....got around?  She had how many kids by age 28?  Five?  

On 4/27/2017 at 0:00 PM, iMonrey said:

The whole story was hinky and I think maybe after Tim and Ron's euphoria wears off the situation could become uncomfortable. There are a lot of inconvenient truths to this story they're willing to gloss over just to be reunited with their mother but wait until the whole story sinks in. 

Yes there were a lot of holes in that story - I lean towards the mom being afraid for her safety and perhaps the dad paid off some judge to get her out of the picture?    Women had fewer rights in those days......the story was a bit off and it made me very grateful for birth control.

[jaybird2]

On 4/28/2017 at 2:23 PM, Joanne said:

Something doesn't ring true about the mother believing her 2 sons were with their grandfather. If that were the case and she never tried to contact them then that was abandonment. Also, her story about Children's services just showing up and taking the twins is very odd. There had to be more to it than that. 

i just watched the re-run and was/am very annoyed with the mother.  i feel that she was not truthful.  she did abandon those boys.   the whole social services story was bogus.  

i hope the boys are still happy they found her.

[Nanparmer]

On 3/28/2017 at 0:55 PM, camom said:

It looks like Ken died in October 2016 and Caliatra remarried in January 2017.  Sounds like she had new hubby waiting in the wings.

 

On 3/28/2017 at 1:36 PM, okerry said:

omg . . . makes me cynical and sad to hear that. So much for true love. It used to be that people would at least wait "a decent interval" out of respect for the dead, but not anymore.

I looked at her Facebook page...Ken and Caliatra were friends with her new husband for many years. Caliatra was actually the caregiver for her new husband's wife who passed away. Ken made his wishes known that he wanted her to marry her new husband once he passed away. He had said that God told him that they should marry 4 months after he passed. They married 4 months and 2 days after Ken passed. Ken looked like the most kind man. Caliatra seems eclectic. I don't see any mention of the show or her long lost son on her Facebook. I hope it worked out. 

[Jadzia]

New season started tonight!

Thoughts:

Wow, was that woman's bio dad that much of a player in high school that he didn't even remember the girl knocked up? That was kind of sad. Although he seemed like a nice man, if a little overwhelmed by how enthusiastic his new daughter was. I actually thought she looked older than him or at least they looked like the same age. Definitely did not look like father and daughter! She was pretty likable although I thought it was weird how at first she talked about what a bad childhood she had with her adopted mother and then she said she wanted to find her real mom so she could tell her everything was ok. It was sad that her mother died so young and had such an unhappy life.

The other story was just too sad, with the mother abandoning her children and never coming back. Did they ever mention the other sister, or did the mom ever ask about her? I was wondering if the sister was estranged from her for some reason. It was kind of weird how the woman talked about how she wanted to go back for her daughters when she had a job and got on her feet "but she never did". But she said she stopped working in 1996 when she became disabled and seemed to be living in a pretty nice house. So she obviously got back on her feet at some point.

[Spencer Hastings]

I feel like something was off about both of these cases.

Who was the man in the non identifying information? Are they just taking Darby's word that it's not him?  Because he doesn't even seem to remember having sex with Sharon, maybe he conveniently "forgot" that he was there. I don't believe for a second that Darby doesn't have any recollection of sleeping with a girl who went to his high school.  "Oh it would be funny if she went to school with me...oh, she did?! Imagine that...". It's really sad that Sharon isn't around to set the record straight, even sadder that the adoption destroyed her. Priscilla seems nice and happy with her father, just a little hyperactive!

I just felt bad for Lori and Lorraine.  Lorraine seems to have a lot of demons and mental health issues.  Lori seemed to understand that right away and was very gentle with her.  Lorraine kept saying she was supposed to get the kids back but wasn't able to.  I wonder if the separation was court mandated? I  also wonder where the sister is in all of this.  Maybe she wasn't interested in participating since the grandparents were her biological grandparents and perhaps she was treated better. 

Edited November 7, 2017 by Spencer Hastings

[Snarklepuss]

I felt exactly the same way about both of these cases, @Spencer Hastings.  Man, how much of a player do you have to be at a young age that even hearing her name or seeing her photo doesn't refresh your memory of her?  I just cannot believe that, as sincere as the father seemed to be.  Does he realize how that makes him look on national TV?  At least fake having a vague recollection!  They also seemed all too willing to take his word for it that he was not the same man mentioned in the records.  It made me feel sorry for Priscilla.  And I agree with @Jadzia that she looked much older than she is supposed to be.  I am at least 8 years older than her and I thought she was older than me!  She already had crepey "chicken neck"!

I also didn't buy Lorraine's story.  If the father's parents were willing to take her kids in, why not take her in on a temporary basis too?  Were they that heartless that they would let her separate from her kids to live in her CAR?  Or like mentioned above, did the court take her kids away from her?  Plus, a mother with 2 kids even back then certainly had more options with government assistance than living in her car, so I don't get that at all unless she was committed to an institution.  And not mentioning the sister at all was also weird but I think perhaps Lori has bad feelings towards her from when she was favored over her and didn't want her involved in this.  Lorraine definitely seemed to have mental issues, which she did sort-of mention briefly, but I also felt her daughter was not quite put together right.  Lisa mentioned that they "could heal together", which to me said a lot.  I don't know if I think that's possible, but whatever.

This show is stretching its credibility with episodes like this one.  Do they think the audience is that stupid?  I'm also getting saddened at seeing all these mentally and otherwise challenged mothers.  I get it that a lot of kids left up for adoption come from mothers with problems but it makes me wonder how much of a disappointment it would be to finally find your mother only to have to face that she has major issues that potentially would damage or ruin any positive relationship you hoped to have with her.

Also, my guide said this was a Season 2 episode (number 14), so it's not quite Season 3 yet, although why they waited until now to air a Season 2 episode is beyond me.  My guide shows another one next week!

[Lizzing]

I agree that Priscilla looked older than she was, but she did have a crazy youthful energy, to the point of reminding me of Molly Shannon in a good way.  Something is shady about Darby though, not remembering who he hooked up with in high school. My great uncle found out, when he was in his late 80s, that he fathered a child with a woman he met on shore leave from the Navy back in his single days when he was catting around and, despite being very old, he remembered a hell of a lot about her and that brief hookup.  Darby ain't that old and didn't seem to be mentally impaired, so he might have been either a Grade A horndog or something more sinister.

3 hours ago, Jadzia said:

But she said she stopped working in 1996 when she became disabled and seemed to be living in a pretty nice house. So she obviously got back on her feet at some point.

I'm never 100% sure where these people live are really their houses or some AirBNB rented for the show, a la Catfish.

[Snarklepuss]

7 hours ago, Jadzia said:

It was kind of weird how the woman talked about how she wanted to go back for her daughters when she had a job and got on her feet "but she never did". But she said she stopped working in 1996 when she became disabled and seemed to be living in a pretty nice house. So she obviously got back on her feet at some point.

Yeah, I'm not buying that that was her house either.  I agree that it was probably an AirBNB.  I don't think she was ever mentally able to handle earning the money to afford such a place or maintain it. 

[Mrs. Hanson]

5 hours ago, Snarklepuss said:

Man, how much of a player do you have to be at a young age that even hearing her name or seeing her photo doesn't refresh your memory of her?  I just cannot believe that, as sincere as the father seemed to be.  Does he realize how that makes him look on national TV?  At least fake having a vague recollection!  They also seemed all too willing to take his word for it that he was not the same man mentioned in the records.  It made me feel sorry for Priscilla.  And I agree with @Jadzia that she looked much older than she is supposed to be.  I am at least 8 years older than her and I thought she was older than me!  She already had crepey "chicken neck"!

Totally agree - That Darby must have been drunk and not remembering anything from that night.  I get the feeling Sharon was a loner and he was a popular guy who was hammered and they had a one night stand and it destroyed her eventually.  

Bolding mine:  I was trying to figure out Priscilla's age.  I was thinking 60, 62 - I was stunned to see she was born January 1966 - she is a year younger than me and looks way older!!  

7 hours ago, Spencer Hastings said:

I feel like something was off about both of these cases.

I agree - they leave a lot of stuff out, I assume for privacy.  A little girl sits on a curb for two years, wetting herself and no one calls the authorities?  A social worker?  Where was the younger sister now?  Where was Homeless Mom's parents?

 

5 hours ago, Snarklepuss said:

but I also felt her daughter was not quite put together right.  Lisa mentioned that they "could heal together", which to me said a lot.  I don't know if I think that's possible, but whatever.

Yes I agree the daughter was not.....quite up to par.  They both need each other to heal the sins of the past and maybe with some professional counseling they can do that.  Tread lightly, daughter:  Your mom suffers from severe depression (her words) so please, be careful.

[Angeltoes]

Quote

 Darby ain't that old and didn't seem to be mentally impaired, so he might have been either a Grade A horndog or something more sinister.

That's what I wondered, if maybe he forced himself on Sharon and that's why he's now all ho, ho, ho, don't remember her.   I am heartbroken for her that her life went so badly.  

[Mrs. Hanson]

48 minutes ago, Angeltoes said:

That's what I wondered, if maybe he forced himself on Sharon and that's why he's now all ho, ho, ho, don't remember her.   I am heartbroken for her that her life went so badly.  

Excellent point on maybe forcing himself on her.  Family was too ashamed to press charges?  "Blame the victim" could have been in effect?  Perhaps that is why Sharon struggled so?  Boy I am Encyclopedia Brown here, aren't I?  Aren't we?  LOL!   I wish Sharon's brother could have been given more screen time to discuss Sharon a bit more.  Nothing too personal, I have respect for the deceased, but maybe a little light could have been shed on this seemingly sad situation.

[iMonrey]

I was so excited to see a new episode on my DVR!

OK I'm sorry, but Lori's mother Lorraine is just a garbage person. I get that she has mental health issues and financial issues, but she knew where her kids were and never once reached out to them. It's not as if she gave them up for adoption and didn't know where they were. She dropped them off and pointed to the house they were supposed to go live in. All their lives, not one card, letter or phone call. There's just no excuse for that. Lori was far more forgiving than I would have been. But I'm pretty sure once the euphoria wears off Lori will go back to being bitter about it, and I don't blame her.

Now . . . what's up with Darby? Is he lying? That was my first thought but then, why did he even agree to go on the show if that's the case? I wonder if maybe it was Priscilla's birth mother who lied, or "stretched the truth." The non ID info Priscilla got said her parents met at a New Years Eve party. It's possible both were dead drunk and hooked up and that was it (which would explain why Darby doesn't remember her). Then the birth mother Sharon told her parents, etc., she had been "dating" this guy for a few months so it wouldn't look as bad. On the other hand the info Priscilla got said the birth father had been involved in the process right up until the birth. Is that info Sharon was feeding the adoption agency? Bottom line, either Sharon was lying then or Darby is lying now.

Quote

This show is stretching its credibility with episodes like this one.  Do they think the audience is that stupid?

I agree this show is trying a little too hard to manufacture "happy" endings at the expense of accuracy and important information, like whatever happened to Lori's sister. That's why I liked when they did those follow-up episodes that showed what happened after the first meeting and things didn't turn out so well. They need more of those. I don't mind the gritty reality, I'd rather see that than manufactured good will.

The other thing that confused me was that Lorraine said the name of Lori's birth father and that he had committed suicide. She made no mention of the younger sister's birth father, and that's the one whose parent took Lori and her sister in. Was he still alive?

[Mrs. Hanson]

1 hour ago, iMonrey said:

Now . . . what's up with Darby? Is he lying? That was my first thought but then, why did he even agree to go on the show if that's the case? I wonder if maybe it was Priscilla's birth mother who lied, or "stretched the truth." The non ID info Priscilla got said her parents met at a New Years Eve party. It's possible both were dead drunk and hooked up and that was it (which would explain why Darby doesn't remember her). Then the birth mother Sharon told her parents, etc., she had been "dating" this guy for a few months so it wouldn't look as bad. On the other hand the info Priscilla got said the birth father had been involved in the process right up until the birth. Is that info Sharon was feeding the adoption agency?

This is why I am excited to read other people's take on the Sharon/Darby situation.  I do believe Sharon was feeding the agency information, either out of embarrassment (most likely) or someday wanting the baby to know that/think that Daddy was involved.  I want to hear other theories.

 

1 hour ago, iMonrey said:

That's why I liked when they did those follow-up episodes that showed what happened after the first meeting

Me too!  The reality is this:  You have a life, you are plugging along, you know you are adopted.  Now you have the reality of real live people who are your birth family and they want into your life, either in a big way or  small way.  Feelings can hurt, "Hey I am your dad - I may be a stepdad but I AM DAD."  It is hard to navigate, I assume, and the follow up shows show that.

[Matty]

The two stories that kicked off the new season last night were real downers. Lorraine looked like she has had a hard life. Her daughter was forgiving and kind and it appears that she bears no ill feelings or resentment towards Lorraine for abandoning her. Lorraine has a mental disability and suffers from depression and doesn't seem like a maternal person. The whole story was so sad. The sister probably wanted nothing to do with the search. Since she was dropped off at her biological grandparents' house and was accepted by them she may not have the same emptiness and yearning for a mother that Lori has. Just speculation, but that may be the reason she wasn't there or wasn't mentioned at all.

Old Darby was unbelievable. When he saw the yearbook photo of Sharon he had no recollection of this person at all. It appears to have been a high school one night stand that produced Priscilla. That's pretty sad for Priscilla. No fond memories of Sharon from good time Darby. Maybe the guy that was with Sharon during the pregnancy was her boyfriend and he thought the baby was his and he stayed with Sharon until she gave birth and the baby was given up for adoption. Again, Sharon may have lied and told him the baby was his. Pure speculation on my part. It just seemed we didn't get all the facts in either of these stories. Unsatisfying conclusions and incomplete stories. Sad.

Edited November 7, 2017 by Matty

[Horrified]

10 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Totally agree - That Darby must have been drunk and not remembering anything from that night.  I get the feeling Sharon was a loner and he was a popular guy who was hammered and they had a one night stand and it destroyed her eventually.  

I fear a worse story than that.  I think it might have been a sexual assault.  I imagine that the horror/shame of that, plus a pregnancy, PLUS giving up your child caused the downward fatal spiral.  Sad possibility.

[kassygreene]

I think it's entirely possible that the non-id records were accurate enough, and that the birth mother thought the other guy was the bio-father (or hoped he was), but he had no intention of marrying her even if he was there for the birth.  It's also possible that conception occurred in some sort of mutual drunken haze....  Darby doesn't remember Sharon; Sharon is dead; the only family member (the brother) that Show reported on was already grown and gone when all this happened....  It was 1965/66?  Lies to protect reputations and feelings were easy to tell.  The only certainty in this was the DNA, and if the circumstances of conception were too non-G for TLC (which is really straining my credulity, considering TLC's line-up), then all we have is a mystery.

[riverblue22]

Well, it may not stay a complete mystery for the family.  Perhaps Darby will figure out what most likely happened and share it with his daughter if they establish a relationship.  

Lorraine was a sad case.  I am thinking alcohol was a big problem for her and maybe she did often live the life of a mentally ill, alcoholic homeless person.  Getting disability probably made her life more bearable but still didn't put her in a place where she felt she had anything to offer her daughters.

[Snarklepuss]

10 hours ago, Matty said:

Maybe the guy that was with Sharon during the pregnancy was her boyfriend and he thought the baby was his and he stayed with Sharon until she gave birth and the baby was given up for adoption. Again, Sharon may have lied and told him the baby was his. Pure speculation on my part. It just seemed we didn't get all the facts in either of these stories. Unsatisfying conclusions and incomplete stories. Sad.

I thought this too, only I thought that Sharon didn't know whose child it was and told the boyfriend it was his because he'd have no way of knowing she'd had a one night dalliance with another guy.  So it was a lie that probably had more of a chance of being correct than an outright lie would.  She could have been with the boyfriend a few times vs. the one time with Darby and figured the chances were far in favor of it being the boyfriend's.  Her life being destroyed over this may have had just as much to do with her despair over a failed relationship with the boyfriend and her thinking for decades that the child could have been his.

Edited November 8, 2017 by Snarklepuss

[Snarklepuss]

5 hours ago, riverblue22 said:

Well, it may not stay a complete mystery for the family.  Perhaps Darby will figure out what most likely happened and share it with his daughter if they establish a relationship. 

I'm also wondering if Darby said one thing to the camera and admitted more to his daughter off-camera.  I keep thinking he adopted that story for appearance purposes but might have been willing to tell more of the truth to her as long as it wasn't for public consumption.

[iMonrey]

Yeah . . . not to pile on poor Darby or anything, but this isn't the first time I've wondered if someone who agreed to be on the show did so because they thought it was going to be about someone else. In other words, Darby might have been expecting Priscilla to be a child of someone else he dated, so he agreed to the meeting. Then when the cameras were on him, out came this photo of Sharon, and he might have been like "Oh . . . her." 

I've brought this up before, but I suspect that was the case last season with the nurse, who was a black girl and her mother turned out to be white (and another nurse in the same town whom she'd met several times), and the mother's story did not match the story the daughter had always been told. I think the mother expected the long-lost child to be one from another boyfriend, and only realized it was another child after meeting her, then tried to pass it off as the same incident.

[Mrs. Hanson]

19 hours ago, iMonrey said:

Yeah . . . not to pile on poor Darby or anything, but this isn't the first time I've wondered if someone who agreed to be on the show did so because they thought it was going to be about someone else. In other words, Darby might have been expecting Priscilla to be a child of someone else he dated, so he agreed to the meeting. Then when the cameras were on him, out came this photo of Sharon, and he might have been like "Oh . . . her." 

I've brought this up before, but I suspect that was the case last season with the nurse, who was a black girl and her mother turned out to be white (and another nurse in the same town whom she'd met several times), and the mother's story did not match the story the daughter had always been told. I think the mother expected the long-lost child to be one from another boyfriend, and only realized it was another child after meeting her, then tried to pass it off as the same incident.

We can pile on Darby.  Dude annoyed me.  I wonder if he nailed the hot chick back in the day, thought he had spawned with her and realized it was poor forgotten Sharon.  Producers:  Please do a follow up after Sharon hopefully meets her bio uncle - we need more light shed on this story.

I do remember the nurse and the mom who had probably placed two children for adoption and was surprised when the "other" daughter showed  up.  

[Toothbrush]

Both downer stories to start the 3rd season. 

I agree that Priscilla looks as old as Darby, but her enthusiasm was infectious. So sad about Sharon, and something was not right about the whole situation. As much as I hate to think it was a drunken hook-up that resulted in Priscilla, I would rather think that over sexual assault (as I am sure we all would). But IMO something is off.  

I wonder if Lorraine even told the dad/grandparents that she was leaving her daughters to their care. They may have been shocked to answer a knock on the door only to find 2 little girls with their birth certificates in hand. I feel horrible that they did not treat Lori well. Lori seems to understand that if she & Lorraine are to have a relationship, it is she who will be taking over the parent/caregiver role. I hope it works out for them, and that they both can find peace. 

Edited November 13, 2017 by Toothbrush

[Snarklepuss]

26 minutes ago, Toothbrush said:

I wonder if Lorraine even told the dad/grandparents that she was leaving her daughters to their care. They may have been shocked to answer a knock on the door only to find 2 little girls with their birth certificates in hand. I feel horrible that they did not treat Lori well.

I was thinking that too.  why would she have to leave the kids without knocking on the door herself if the grandparents knew about it?  Unless they detested Lorraine and asked her not to show her face or like you said, they didn't know about it beforehand.

[Mrs. Hanson]

6 hours ago, Snarklepuss said:

7 hours ago, Toothbrush said:

I wonder if Lorraine even told the dad/grandparents that she was leaving her daughters to their care. They may have been shocked to answer a knock on the door only to find 2 little girls with their birth certificates in hand. I feel horrible that they did not treat Lori well.

I was thinking that too.  why would she have to leave the kids without knocking on the door herself if the grandparents knew about it?  Unless they detested Lorraine and asked her not to show her face or like you said, they didn't know about it beforehand.

Did birth mom confirm the leaving on the doorstep without knocking?  That seems a little out there.  Many of these stories seem out there (and as someone who works in the public school system I can tell you they can be out there) but my feeling is Birth Mom told gramma and grandpa only younger one was coming and dropped off both.

 

7 hours ago, Toothbrush said:

I agree that Priscilla looks as old as Darby, but her enthusiasm was infectious.

She was coming off as borderline manic to me - not to harsh on her but I was like, calm down lady!!!

[Snarklepuss]

1 hour ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Did birth mom confirm the leaving on the doorstep without knocking?  That seems a little out there.  Many of these stories seem out there (and as someone who works in the public school system I can tell you they can be out there) but my feeling is Birth Mom told gramma and grandpa only younger one was coming and dropped off both.

The story the mother told was that she sent the kids to the door from the middle of the street and told them to knock on it.

I like your theory of telling them only the one was coming.  I forget if that was what she told us.  That would explain her not knocking herself.

[Toothbrush]

11 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

my feeling is Birth Mom told gramma and grandpa only younger one was coming and dropped off both.

 

Good theory. Of course it doesn't excuse the grandparents being cruel to Lori and calling her the child of Satan*. And who is Satan in this scenario? If it is Lorraine, the younger sister is Satan's daughter too. I will never understand people who are cruel to anyone for the hell of it, but especially innocent children & animals. 

*Not that your comment implied that it did 

[Jadzia]

Last night's episode made me all weepy. I absolutely loved Wayne, Michelle's bio dad. He just came across as such a warm person and I was so happy for him to find a daughter late in life. Contrasted with Darby, he had a much more believable and tactful response to not remembering who her bio mom might be. I loved their reunion.

The story with the brothers was really sad and touching. I loved that they had both been to their brother's grave separately. How wild would it have been had they have met there? I was surprised that the younger brother looked older than the older brother. But it must be due to the different fathers. I was a little confused by how they were able to confirm that neither one of them had the same "bloodline" as the murderer boyfriend. Did they test DNA from the boyfriend's relatives to compare? Did they even look for any matches of the mom's family? Did the boys want to find their parents? So many questions.

[Trees]

As much as I adore this show, it makes me crazy that they waste time with repetitive stuff, but leave out the questions that everyone's gonna ask.

What happened to the brothers' birth parents?  Was any effort made to find them?  What else did their parents know?

Michelle - didn't her birth parents have ANY adoption records?  What was she told?  The hosts always show these "public records" searches.  So why doesn't that work in searching the city where Michelle was born and her birth date?

I love the stories.  Besides those things frustrating me, I also am very aware that this show is pretty much an infomercial for Ancestry.com.

As much as I adore this show, it makes me crazy that they waste time with repetitive stuff, but leave out the questions that everyone's gonna ask.

What happened to the brothers' birth parents?  Was any effort made to find them?  What else did their parents know?

Michelle - didn't her birth parents have ANY adoption records?  What was she told?  The hosts always show these "public records" searches.  So why doesn't that work in searching the city where Michelle was born and her birth date?

I love the stories.  Besides those things frustrating me, I also am very aware that this show is pretty much an infomercial for Ancestry.com.

[Snarklepuss]

31 minutes ago, Trees said:

As much as I adore this show, it makes me crazy that they waste time with repetitive stuff, but leave out the questions that everyone's gonna ask.

What happened to the brothers' birth parents?  Was any effort made to find them?  What else did their parents know?

Michelle - didn't her birth parents have ANY adoption records?  What was she told?  The hosts always show these "public records" searches.  So why doesn't that work in searching the city where Michelle was born and her birth date?

I love the stories.  Besides those things frustrating me, I also am very aware that this show is pretty much an infomercial for Ancestry.com..

I know others have said this too, but I think they're deliberately leaving loose ends to cover in one of those later follow-up shows like they had last season in which they check in on how they're doing since they met up with their long lost family member(s) and pursue other loose ends/family members that weren't covered in their initial episode.  I also think they're deliberately choosing situations that have such loose ends to pursue.  I will agree that it is frustrating that they don't address it and just leave people hanging/confused.

Edited November 14, 2017 by Snarklepuss

[AZChristian]

1 hour ago, Trees said:

What happened to the brothers' birth parents?  Was any effort made to find them?  What else did their parents know?

Didn't they find that the mother had died at a fairly young age?  And it sounds like she slept around . . . would have been hard to run DNA tests on every man in Ohio during the years those kids were conceived.

[iMonrey]

Did anyone else wonder if maybe Michelle's birth mother was white? She looked like she could have been mixed race, and it would kind of explain why maybe her mother never told her father she was pregnant and gave the baby up for adoption. Also, I was confused about something here. When they got the DNA results, it linked Michelle to one of her father's two sisters. Then they said neither sister had a child so they couldn't be the birth mother. But then later after we met Wayne he said he was the only one in his family without biological children. ?? So, did his sisters have kids or not? And why did he specify "biological?" Did he have adopted children?

Quote

Didn't they find that the mother had died at a fairly young age? 

No, they said she was arrested for child endangerment. They never said what became of her after that. The man they thought was their father was in jail for life. So yeah - both biological parents are still MIA.

It's entirely possible one or both brothers were well aware of where their mother was and just didn't care because they had no relationship with her.