S15.E03: Kacy

[Tara Ariano]

A millionaire business woman gets help after being stuck in a binge drinking spiral that began with the loss of an infant child to SIDS and saw her lose her marriage, relationships with her other children and her fortune.

[Primetimer]

This understatement of the year has been brought to you by Sarah D. Bunting and Smirnoff...not in that order.

Read the story

[farmgal4]

There's no doubt that this poor woman will die from alcoholism if she doesn't get, and stay, sober. I can certainly understand why she would blame herself for her baby's death; I would blame myself too. This episode doesn't hold a candle to last week's, but it still pulled at my heartstrings. BTW, she had an alcoholic's nose. Wonder what causes that? OMG, her transformation in rehab is unbelievable! But now I find out she relapsed 2 days after leaving rehab. If that doesn't speak to the power of addiction, I don't know what would. So, so sad...

[wait.what]

The hair. The manipulation. The begging.

As a nurse, alcoholics are horrible to care for. The brain is pickled and they are impossible to reason with. The poor family.

[auntieminem]

Alcoholics seem to have a really hard time staying sober.  I cannot imagine what her family must feel, she was a successful woman and then a tragedy cause her to lose all.  It has to feel awful for her children she cannot let go of her guilt and stay alive for them.  

[beezus3]

I was kind of surprised the liquor store was selling her booze. She can't count her own money because she is so intoxicated...

She has an uphill battle, no doubt.

[sara416]

Well, I guess the update was okay, considering I thought she would be dead. 

 

Seeing her at rehab was incredible, she looked so different! She just looked well! I hope being hospitalized is helping her. She needs some truly long term treatment and to be in sober living far away from home. 

 

I just read the post for this episode, and I got a different follow up screen at the end than the one posted. Did anyone else get the one saying that she intended to go to sober living but relapsed two days after getting home and then ended up hospitalized?

Edited March 21, 2016 by sara416

[Court]

@Sara416 That's the one I got too.

[Toaster Strudel]

Ditto for the relapse after two days.

 

I don't think I have ever seen an addict change so drastically, she was barely recognizable.

 

I don't think she's long for this world.

[Empress1]

I thought she was going to die. She had bruises on her, which I think happens when your liver is failing - Lawrence and Jackie had those too, and they're both dead. I don't think she has much time left. Her poor family.

[Pepper Mostly]

Her daughter was just a wonderful lovely girl. I felt so bad for her, and the rest of the family. They seemed genuinely sweet and caring.

 

God, Kacy staggering down to the packie in her jammies, unable to count her money! I think she is just too far gone.

[Toaster Strudel]

She has been drinking staggering amounts of vodka mixed with Sports drinks for years... she couldn't even take a couple of bites of actual food, it looked like a real strain for her.  And chalky stools?  Oh yes her liver is failing, she'll need a transplant but in most places they won't put you on the waiting list for a liver unless you stop drinking for at least 6 months.  There is no point transplanting a liver in an alcoholic, they'll be too drunk to keep up with the strict anti-rejection regimen and will destroy it immediately.

[Toaster Strudel]

I also like the new "this is a story about riches to rags" - it's a great way to introduce the theme of the show.

[yogi2014L]

I also though the black screen was going to be a sad update. I felt for her, she was one of the worst alcoholics I have seen on this show as far as non functionality. good episode though. I am glad she went back to rehab after her relapse. Hopefully she can live the rest of her life sober! She really did look amazing at the end.

[Auntie Anxiety]

I wonder if Lacy was drunk when she agreed to that 1980's perm she had in the pictures of her during her marriage to Gabe.  When my mom wanted me to be her Toni home perm guinea pig, I ran the other way for good reason!

 

Felt so bad for her family.  They were a good bunch and obviously loved her like crazy.  Little Gabe needs his mom, Lacy.  Daughter Lexi(?) does too.  

 

Glad the Anorexic Super Twins are doing well because I found them to be scary, not only with their ghoulish zombie appearance but also their strange mind melding.

[Sarah D. Bunting]

Just a note that I've updated the piece with the chyrons you guys saw (there was a different/less bleak update in the screener version). Thanks for catching it!

[farmgal4]

I was kind of surprised the liquor store was selling her booze. She can't count her own money because she is so intoxicated...She has an uphill battle, no doubt.

I didn't think the liquor store should have sold to her either, beezus3. I thought liquor stores were kind of like bars; if a person is intoxicated, you cut them off.

[farmgal4]

I also though the black screen was going to be a sad update. I felt for her, she was one of the worst alcoholics I have seen on this show as far as non functionality. good episode though. I am glad she went back to rehab after her relapse. Hopefully she can live the rest of her life sober! She really did look amazing at the end.

She didn't go back to rehab, yogi. She was hospitalized. Her liver is bound to be shot to hell.

[yogi2014L]

She didn't go back to rehab, yogi. She was hospitalized. Her liver is bound to be shot to hell.

Ah I must have misunderstood! How sad. At least if she is in the hospital she is probably sober. 

[RickyB]

I agreed that it was virtually impossible to go from her state at intervention to where she was at 75 days. I wish her all the best but the damage has been done to her body. Her daughters girlfriend had foreshadowing about the relapse. She said from what I can remember " Kacy puts on a good act when she is looking for liquor. " She needs to get the proper medical help which could take months if not years to somewhat correct the damage. Then she can start on the mental healing.

[sara416]

I thought she was going to die. She had bruises on her, which I think happens when your liver is failing - Lawrence and Jackie had those too, and they're both dead. I don't think she has much time left. Her poor family.

Yep. I saw the bruises and immediately thought of Lawrence. My stomach was in knots the whole episode because of it. 

[theajw]

I also thought of Lawrence.  When I read that she had returned home, I feared the next part of the update would be about a relapse.  Sadly, I was right.  

[PrincessSteel]

I have such a bad feeling about Kacy's future. Even if she maintains sobriety her body is a wreck. Short of a liver transplant I don't know how you undo that much damage.

[mythoughtis]

I've read all the posts, watching the show 'On Demand' now.   This woman seems mentally ill to me - of course, alcoholism will eventually do that to you.

 

I just really have no sympathy, she tossed a husband and two kids down the drain.  She lost their entire childhood.   Seems to me that she should have held on tight to the children she had left rather than throw it all away.  Of course, I've never been in her shoes, so I really can't say what I would do - just that what she did seems so senseless.    I'm not saying that I have no sympathy for the loss of her child, just that I have no sympathy for what she did afterwards, and kept doing for years and years. 

 

The people I always feel sorry for are the parents of the addict, and the kids.  These people don't deserve the H*ll their lives have become.    

gimi-

 

The twins were healthy and happy, and living separate lives.  One was in LA, the other in Germany. 

[AuntTora]

Have we ever seen an alcohol addict before, who never had even a minute or two of "clear" in order to provide some narrative? Even the meth addict from last week (week before?) with the word salad was more together at times than Kacy. I feel awful for her family, who uniformly seemed pretty great. The fact that now, in late March, she's (apparently) in the hospital after relapsing in early February sure sounds like a bad sign. Hope that's just an artifact of the program schedule.

Kacy needs to accept that either it was SIDS and there was nothing that could be done and it wasn't her fault, or it was just a tragic horrible accident and she CAN forgive herself, and live. She has two other children and people that desperately want her in their lives. She's slowly killing herself and I'm sure on some level that's on purpose. Her family also needs to find a way to accept that whatever Kacy does, they did everything THEY could, and be gentle with themselves if the worst comes to pass.

[grisgris]

I nearly cried when I read that Kacy relapsed. I was startled by how healthy and happy she looked when her daughter came to visit.

 

However, I wonder why she was released from rehab after only 76 days, considering what awful shape when was in when she entered treatment.

 

Terribly sad.

[mythoughtis]

I don't think she was released after 76 days, that's just when her daughter was able/allowed/coordinated with the show to visit her.   That visit is always when the show ends, and then we get the update via black screen.

[gunderda]

She lived in a small town so instead of refusing to sell to her, they give the town drunk what they want and they go away.   The cashier in a way did refuse her when she was short $2 and she was denied "a loan".

 

I'm sure they can probably refuse to sell to her, but maybe it's different than refusing to serve to her (like in a bar)?  Maybe that's why they didn't outright refuse to give it to her.  

[farmgal4]

I nearly cried when I read that Kacy relapsed. I was startled by how healthy and happy she looked when her daughter came to visit.

 

However, I wonder why she was released from rehab after only 76 days, considering what awful shape when was in when she entered treatment.

 

Terribly sad.

I'm embarrassed and ashamed to admit this here, but I was in a great rehab for almost 90 days for an opiate/alcohol addiction. I relapsed the day I was released. Why? Because the desire to use was more powerful than the desire to stay clean and sober. In rehab I was taught what to do to prevent a relapse, but I chose not to do it. That happened in 2012, and I still carry the shame and embarrassment of my failure today.

[mythoughtis]

 

I'm embarrassed and ashamed to admit this here, but I was in a great rehab for almost 90 days for an opiate/alcohol addiction. I relapsed the day I was released. Why? Because the desire to use was more powerful than the desire to stay clean and sober. In rehab I was taught what to do to prevent a relapse, but I chose not to do it. That happened in 2012, and I still carry the shame and embarrassment of my failure today

farmgal

 

There is NO reason to be embarrassed and ashamed.  It takes several tries, and it is one day at a time for the rest of your life.  You did what you could - got up, dusted yourself off, and tried again.  There is a very good reason that AA wants people at meetings several  times a week, and rehabs want people to move into sober living homes.  

Edited March 22, 2016 by mythoughtis

[Elizabeth9]

She lived in a small town so instead of refusing to sell to her, they give the town drunk what they want and they go away. The cashier in a way did refuse her when she was short $2 and she was denied "a loan".

I'm sure they can probably refuse to sell to her, but maybe it's different than refusing to serve to her (like in a bar)? Maybe that's why they didn't outright refuse to give it to her.

From a find who worked in a liquor store, they should legally refuse to sell the alcohol.

[farmgal4]

farmgal

 

There is NO reason to be embarrassed and ashamed.  It takes several tries, and it is one day at a time for the rest of your life.  You did what you could - got up, dusted yourself off, and tried again.  There is a very good reason that AA wants people at meetings several  times a week, and rehabs want people to move into sober living homes.

Thank you, mythoughtis. Hindsight is 20/20, but if I had it to do over, I would have moved into a sober-living house for at least 6 months after leaving rehab.

[Pepper Mostly]

farmgal, I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story with us, its really courageous. Your insights are so helpful and your compassion is really humbling. Thanks for being here.

[LilyoftheValley]

Intervention enablers meet T.  T handled that in the perfect anti-enabler way.  Also, that is the third butch I have seen in my life named T.  I also do not think Kacy is long for this world.  It's really sad because both her children seemed like really great people she could have a lot of love for.   The only way she could possibly recover is to quit drinking for good and live off the small amount of remaining liver she has left.  But sadly that won't happen.  

[farmgal4]

farmgal, I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story with us, its really courageous. Your insights are so helpful and your compassion is really humbling. Thanks for being here.

Thank you for your kind words, Pepper.

[grisgris]

farmgal, thanks for sharing. I'm very happy that you've gotten sober. An addiction to alcohol is hell to try to kick. No matter how much you hate the very substance you're gulping down, and hate yourself for doing it, it's the physiological grip that's so difficult to break. There really aren't any medications that can be used to help with the withdrawal (if you try to sober up without treatment) or cravings. (Like you can have prescribed for you while detoxing from some other substances.)

 

I had been drinking for all of my adult life and had built up a tolerance to drinking two bottles of wine every single day. I was also taking Prozac and Xanax. I got very ill and what finally prompted me to quit was that I have severe arthritis and was in dire need of a hip replacement. I'm going to celebrate two years of being sober on Easter. I don't miss drinking one bit. If I can do it, there is hope for others! My health is much better and oh yes, I have a hip that's nearly 18 months old.

 

Anyway, back to Lacy. Yes, sadly, I don't see her being around for much longer. Her liver is too shot and she's certainly not a candidate for a transplant. For starters, I don't think she'd survive an intense surgery like that. Secondly, I don't think she'd be eligible and she probably doesn't have any type of health insurance to cover it. Maybe the most humane thing to do is just bring her home and let her drink herself to the bitter end. Make sure she's home and safe and not wandering the streets seeking liquor. I know that sounds harsh and crazy, but I really don't know what more can be done for her at this point.

[dstranger99]

When she was out pan-handling for money, I'm surprised no males tried to take advantage of her sexually. She was so drunk anything could have happened.

[dstranger99]

And one more thing, what's the deal with Kacy's nose? It's HUGE?? Did she fall and smash it or something? It looked nothing like that in her pre sober days ??

[LilyoftheValley]

My grandma was an alcoholic and she had a huge nose too (nothing like the perfect nose she had before she started drinking).  Alcohol really does seem to change the body more than any other drug.  

[yogi2014L]

I know when I drink too much ( like when I wake up with a hangover) my nose looks bigger to me. Goes away though, but if you are constantly drunk I guess it doesn't have a chance to de puff. 

Probably something to do with inflammation I bet?

[farmgal4]

And one more thing, what's the deal with Kacy's nose? It's HUGE?? Did she fall and smash it or something? It looked nothing like that in her pre sober days ??

Her nose is the result of heavy drinking. In 12 Step recovery rooms, you can almost always pick out the alcoholics just by looking at their noses. I don't know the physiology behind what causes it though. Does anyone here know?

farmgal, thanks for sharing. I'm very happy that you've gotten sober. An addiction to alcohol is hell to try to kick. No matter how much you hate the very substance you're gulping down, and hate yourself for doing it, it's the physiological grip that's so difficult to break. There really aren't any medications that can be used to help with the withdrawal (if you try to sober up without treatment) or cravings. (Like you can have prescribed for you while detoxing from some other substances.)

 

I had been drinking for all of my adult life and had built up a tolerance to drinking two bottles of wine every single day. I was also taking Prozac and Xanax. I got very ill and what finally prompted me to quit was that I have severe arthritis and was in dire need of a hip replacement. I'm going to celebrate two years of being sober on Easter. I don't miss drinking one bit. If I can do it, there is hope for others! My health is much better and oh yes, I have a hip that's nearly 18 months old.

 

Anyway, back to Lacy. Yes, sadly, I don't see her being around for much longer. Her liver is too shot and she's certainly not a candidate for a transplant. For starters, I don't think she'd survive an intense surgery like that. Secondly, I don't think she'd be eligible and she probably doesn't have any type of health insurance to cover it. Maybe the most humane thing to do is just bring her home and let her drink herself to the bitter end. Make sure she's home and safe and not wandering the streets seeking liquor. I know that sounds harsh and crazy, but I really don't know what more can be done for her at this point.

Thank you, grisgris and congratulations on your sobriety!

[buttercupia]

http://www.med-health.net/Bulbous-Nose.html

 

The nose isn't from drinking, though drinking can make it worse. What amazed me was how much she looked like her father.  Like, a clone.  Like her mom had nothing to do with her genetics.

 

Poor family.  I felt for all of them.  I felt for Kacy too.  

[Zanne505]

Intervention enablers meet T. T handled that in the perfect anti-enabler way. Also, that is the third butch I have seen in my life named T. I also do not think Kacy is long for this world. It's really sad because both her children seemed like really great people she could have a lot of love for. The only way she could possibly recover is to quit drinking for good and live off the small amount of remaining liver she has left. But sadly that won't happen.

T was awesome. Handled everything perfectly. I would have liked to have known more about her story. ..

[IvySpice]

Yeah, T ruled. She made me think of how Tressa might have been if she'd had the good fortune to be a born a butch on the Great Plains twenty years later.

[candall]

On ‎3‎/‎22‎/‎2016 at 2:10 PM, farmgal4 said:

On ‎3‎/‎22‎/‎2016 at 10:34 PM, grisgris said:

 

I'm embarrassed and ashamed to admit this here, but I was in a great rehab for almost 90 days for an opiate/alcohol addiction. I relapsed the day I was released. Why? Because the desire to use was more powerful than the desire to stay clean and sober. In rehab I was taught what to do to prevent a relapse, but I chose not to do it. That happened in 2012, and I still carry the shame and embarrassment of my failure today.

You've struggled, Farmgal, and everyone here really respects you for it, and for sharing it.  I hope there's some of that going on for you at home, too.  <3

P.S.  Probably everyone has memories that cause a shooting pain to the eyes when they look back.  I know I do.

[lallalla]

I stumbled across this plea from her mom dated 2014. It reveals some truly awful, sad details different from what was revealed on the show. I keep looking for updates, hoping she's progressing and recovering.

She is trying to forget a lot of things.

Kacy's mom's plea for an intervention 2014

****edited to add, looks like the link below isn't authentic. :/  Still rooting for her.

And here is Kacy's blog as a recovering addict. I haven't browsed through it, but I hope it's a positive sign. 

Kacy's recovery blog

Edited June 26, 2016 by lallalla
added info