S05.E09: She Wants Revenge

[ClareWalks]

But, all they had to do was clip a half second from the other version, to get rid of the quick boob shot at the end of the Countess' "ride", and you wouldn't have had either nipples or pasties. I suppose it could be worse. Nip/Tuck put bandaids over the nipple areas of mannequins. That was another Ryan Murphy show on the same network.

 

Yeah, they could have edited any boobage out. It must be an aesthetic choice for the Countess, then. She totally is the type to wear extraneous spangled nipple coverings.

[caracas1914]

The only character I felt for was the girl in Max's who turned into a vampire. She reluctantly killed her parents and wanted to stop, apparently she hadn't fed with blood for awhile.

Alex couldn't even help her, though admittedly she was on thin ice since it was only Max preventing the other children from killing Alex.

The one way the show could redeem Alex is having her find a " cure" for the virus, I suppose.

[Snookums]

The one way the show could redeem Alex is having her find a " cure" for the virus, I suppose.

 

 

I like this idea, actually. I love the idea of the Countess being "cured"  and stuck in a boring, regular aging body, and she can't convert back because Alex cured everybody else as well!

[peacheslatour]

 

I feel worse for Lachlan, though. Poor guy has nobody looking out for him. He and Scarlett should burn the hotel to the ground and run off to some kids colony.

A kid's colony sans little vampires, hopefully.

[Mattipoo]

Maybe Lachlan kills the Countess and becomes the rightful owner of Hotel Cortez, marries Scarlett and lives happily ever after with all the vampires and ghosts as their servants.

[tom87]

Sorry, I know this must have been asked before but I couldn't find it anywhere.

 

Why does the color of Gaga's eyebrows change?

 

And man when they are in feed mode they sure do pounce.

[SpaghettiTuesdays]

I'm curious as to how Will Drake was stupid? He didn't believe Mrs. Evers, so what? If he's in love as we're supposed to believe, why would he believe some woman he didn't even know (Lachlan had to tell him who she was). He let Ramona out of the cage thing? He didn't know she was a vampire. 

 

As to the Alex curing everyone of vampirism, I totally believe that and that's where I thought they were going to take it. Plus, I think she hates that little Max kid, so why wouldn't she want to use him for experiments first (in case he died).

[Captanne]

As per usual, I found Lady Gaga's acting alternatively very competent and startlingly inept.  I couldn't find any rhyme or reason to why, either.  I'd have to care enough to go back to find the specific examples and I don't.  But this was my impression during the course of the episode.  I watched her performance with momentary, "Oh, she's good!" to "Oo.  Stinkeroo.  Wooden plank."

 

On the whole I liked the episode.  You know that marvelously horrible feeling you get when children are being certified, utter, irredeemable, "razorblades cuts covered in vinegar" ASSHOLES?  Yeah.  I got that feeling.  I hate that feeling. I totally got that "chewing on tin foil" feeling from that Max and his other little Nazis.  So, I guess that's a compliment?

 

ETA:  Found the moment when she was really good -- (thanks recapper!!) -- when she slapped March in the hall outside of where they store the "Amontillado" (wink wink, nudge nudge.)  That caught me totally off guard but heightened my attention so I watched her closely -- she was very good.  Very convincing as the Angry Angry Countess.  (Although I was unclear as to why she was so angry other than March took away her bah-bah.)

Edited December 12, 2015 by Captanne

[queenanne]

Yeah, I think we've found Gaga's true acting Achilles heel - That. Voice.  That modern, glaring, mush-mouthed voice.  (Either that, or she had a cold.)  Apparently she simply can't speak if it's not slo-mo.  Maybe you can fix that with practice...?  It's funny though, as generally in my experience peeps who can sing, tend to form enunciated speaking tones as they sing, and Gaga has shown a classic singing voice.

[Captanne]

In some scenes, she just goes flat and dead.  It's the weirdest thing.

[Tara Ariano]

In case you missed it, here's the Previously.TV post on the episode!

 

American Horror Story: Hotel Requests The Honour Of Your Presence At The Marriage Of Countess Elizabeth To Will Drake
You just know they're going to turn up their nose at your gift card from Bed Bath & Beyond, too.

[RedheadZombie]

In some scenes, she just goes flat and dead.  It's the weirdest thing.

I wonder if she's not getting proper guidance and feedback. The acting is so inconsistent on this show and it always has been. Maybe RM undermines the director? I don't know, but it's amazing how disparate the acting abilities tend to be. The weak/wooden actors make the good actors look that much better.

[Blakeston]

Yeah, I think we've found Gaga's true acting Achilles heel - That. Voice.  That modern, glaring, mush-mouthed voice.  (Either that, or she had a cold.)  Apparently she simply can't speak if it's not slo-mo.  Maybe you can fix that with practice...?  It's funny though, as generally in my experience peeps who can sing, tend to form enunciated speaking tones as they sing, and Gaga has shown a classic singing voice.

 

She did fine with the dialogue in the scenes from the 1920's. I think the issue is that the "Countess" voice is very different from her real-life voice, which is very...modern and has a bit of an accent.

 

And when she has to stretch her voice that way, she ends up emphasizing in all the wrong places.

[Blakeston]

Yeah, I think we've found Gaga's true acting Achilles heel - That. Voice.  That modern, glaring, mush-mouthed voice.  (Either that, or she had a cold.)  Apparently she simply can't speak if it's not slo-mo.  Maybe you can fix that with practice...?  It's funny though, as generally in my experience peeps who can sing, tend to form enunciated speaking tones as they sing, and Gaga has shown a classic singing voice.

 

She did fine with the dialogue in the scenes from the 1920's. I think the issue is that the "Countess" voice is very different from her real-life voice, which is very...modern and has a bit of an accent.

 

And when she has to stretch her voice that way, she ends up emphasizing in all the wrong places.

[Chaos Theory]

For the record I don't think the pasties on the Countess's nipples is a big deal.  I just think it is a hilarious site gag.   I don't usually notice things like that.  I am usually the last person to notice things like clothes and hair but the pasties on the boobs were funny as hell.  

Edited December 13, 2015 by Chaos Theory

[caracas1914]

I don't think people are saying its a big deal, they're saying it looked stupid.

[ClareWalks]

It's funny how a lot of you guys are saying Lady Gaga kind of randomly alternates between decent and terrible acting, because I agree, and have been trying to put my finger on it. It seems like, whenever the scene she is in is even mildly comedic, she is AWFUL. If it's serious, she can pull it off. I might be wrong, but that could be the pattern.

[iMonrey]

 

I don't think the Countess understands how inheritance laws work. Just because she was married to a guy for less than an hour doesn't mean insurance companies and lawyers aren't going to come sniffing around a highly suspicious set of circumstances, especially if she's gonna be all "boo hoo hoo, I'm a widow." Hard to prove that with NO BODY, genius.

 

I don't really think this show pays attention to the finer details, like the law, for example. But yeah - I'm not sure exactly how the Countess plans to inherit any of Drake's money or property, whether he goes missing or whether she produces a dead body. He even mentioned something about a pre-nup to Miss Evers so I'm going to guess he's got his financial situation on lockdown regardless of how smitten he was. 

[caracas1914]

It's just insane how those hipsters wouldn't have been blogging 24/7 as soon as they checked into Will Drake's new hip hotel, or the Vogue editor would just disappear and nobody would trace back where she was last seen. Guests are offed with such impunity and casual disregard that there doesn't seem to be any point to it all. What makes it worse is the Police seen obsessed with the Commandments killer yet oblivious to all the weird coincidences of missing people at the Cortez.

Plus The show predictably makes every character a piece of shit, the Countess basically told Valentino she was going to eliminate his wife Rambova who had suffered with him trapped for 80 plus years and he was like, ' whatever'. This is suppose to be a romantic "all for love " man? In hindsight, it seems only Finn Witrock's character Tristan had ( in the end) any resistance to Gaga's charms.

[Free]

Guests are offed with such impunity and casual disregard that there doesn't seem to be any point to it all. What makes it worse is the Police seen obsessed with the Commandments killer yet oblivious to all the weird coincidences of missing people at the Cortez.

 

Agreed, no one cares who lives or dies on this show.  Even the 10CK stuff just fell to the wayside until the predictable reveal.

[qtpye]

Nobody's life matter, except for the Countess, who just has everyone (men and women fall in love with her). I am glad Liz Taylor is so over her.  I really hope from here on out Gaga does not have much in the way of speaking lines.

 

Agreed, no one cares who lives or dies on this show.  Even the 10CK stuff just fell to the wayside until the predictable reveal.

 

It's like a Simpson's Halloween special rules of reality.

[marcee]

It bothers me that Finn plays two different characters in the same show. Speaking of...shouldn't Tristan's ghost be wandering around the Cortez too?

[Bruinsfan]

It's funny how a lot of you guys are saying Lady Gaga kind of randomly alternates between decent and terrible acting, because I agree, and have been trying to put my finger on it. It seems like, whenever the scene she is in is even mildly comedic, she is AWFUL. If it's serious, she can pull it off. I might be wrong, but that could be the pattern.

I thought she was pretty good in the wedding scene with that "Ignore her. She drinks." deadpan. I don't know why the Countess tolerates Liz Taylor busting on her when she's clearly quick to slash the throat of anyone else who causes even minor annoyance, but I'm loving it.

[ClareWalks]

I thought she was pretty good in the wedding scene with that "Ignore her. She drinks." deadpan. I don't know why the Countess tolerates Liz Taylor busting on her when she's clearly quick to slash the throat of anyone else who causes even minor annoyance, but I'm loving it.

 

True, that was a good line read...maybe when she is near the comedy it's bad. When she shares the screen with Kathy Bates she just seems like a crappy actress.

[DollEyes]

  OK episode. it revisited some previously dropped plotlines in some unexpected ways, not all of them good. The Countess did what she does best-uses people to get what she wants, alive, dead or undead. First, The Countess conned Donovan into betraying Ramona & Iris. It's amazing what pussy & pasties can do to a man's judgment & if said man is a junkie, who didn't have much (if any) good judgment to start with, it destroyed it altogether. Donovan's following The Countess to Rudolf's room post-betrayal is too little, too late. "Fool me once," etc. etc. Then The Countess married Will for his money, imprisoned him & left him for dead, with a little help from March, her other (if estranged) husband because of Will's initial revulsion to Bartholomew, The Countess' son. The Countess' comparison of Bartholomew to Lachlan doesn't work because she knew about Lachlan from the start, plus there's the whole "Lachlan's not-being-a-vampire-baby" thing. I never bought Will & The Countess as a couple because IMO when it came to The Countess, Will wasn't "in love", just glamoured. I've never had much use nor sympathy for Will, especially after his treatment of Tristan, but he didn't deserve what The Countess, March nor Ramona did to him. Ramona made the same mistake that Donovan did re The Countess-letting emotions trump logic, inadvertently giving her what she wanted in the process.

 

  As Ramona's storyline with her late father proved, she's let her heart rule her head before, with tragic results. After her mama died & her Alzheimer's-stricken daddy got worse before being killed by gangbangers, Ramona thought that turning him was the right thing to do, but while it worked for a little while-especially at the gangbangers' expense-it was just prolonging the inevitable, as Ramona learned the hard way, forcing her to kill him just to put him out of his misery. At least Ramona did the right thing on that score; The Countess, otoh, is still in denial on that score where Bartholomew is concerned.  Then there's The Countess' plan to kill Rambova in order to have Rudolf all to herself. However, now that Donovan knows about them, that might be way easier said than done.

 

  Then there's Alex and the vamp kids, who've been going on a killing spree since we last saw them. Their leader Max, like too many leaders, has started believing his own hype, as in claiming that the adults whom they killed-like the pizza delivery guy- won't be missed, as if they don't have jobs, families, friends and neighbors who would miss them and start wondering where they were, before they called the cops, that is. Of course, if it wasn't for Alex's own stupidity, then none of this would be happening in the first place.

[Snookums]

Speaking of...shouldn't Tristan's ghost be wandering around the Cortez too?

 

 

I don't know? I mean, he should be hanging out with Liz at the desk and mocking the Countess (she can't do anything to him now, after all) but maybe he was one of the very rare people who didn't have unfinished business there? Remember, Sally specifically asked Iris if she had anything she was hanging onto before she agreed to hotshot her--"Don't haunt my halls, bitch." And even the Cortez should be full to bursting with angry revenant types considering March's enthusiasms if every single person stayed behind. So I'm guessing that against all odds, Tristan had finished his business on this mortal plane when the Countess slashed his throat.

 

Will Donovan, however, does NOT strike me as the type to be all "Welp, through a glass darkly or whatever, onwards to new and unimagined plains of existence; see ya, Lachlan, and sorry I gave you that stupid name" or whatever. Now that he's been shoved off the mortal cliff by Ramona's two by four there's no reason for him to hang out in that vault prison whatever thingy. He's got him some hauntin' to do, yes sir, and the Countess is going to learn what "not planning ahead" can do to you.

[Chalby]

Also, not to be mean, but everyone always talks about how beautiful Holden is...sorry not seeing it.  To me he looks like a messed up Olsen twin and this was before he was kidnapped by the Countess.

How true. I do not find the kid attractive, beautiful, or anything. Just a boring little boy. I actually wish I could see him sans makeup just to see if he has any redeeming qualities.

[Chalby]

She did fine with the dialogue in the scenes from the 1920's. I think the issue is that the "Countess" voice is very different from her real-life voice, which is very...modern and has a bit of an accent.

 

I thought her 'real voice' is a New York/ NJ accent?

[qtpye]

Also, not to be mean, but everyone always talks about how beautiful Holden is...sorry not seeing it.  To me he looks like a messed up Olsen twin and this was before he was kidnapped by the Countess.

 

How true. I do not find the kid attractive, beautiful, or anything. Just a boring little boy. I actually wish I could see him sans makeup just to see if he has any redeeming qualities.

 

 

It's like if Ryan Murphy writes it it must be true.  Holden is a beautiful child that no one can resist...okay, Holden is absolutely ordinary.  John looks just like Holden...in what world?  Gaga pre countess catches the eye of Valentino and a wealthy psychopath...not seeing why she would be so alluring.

 

Speaking of the Countess, what is up with her obsession with blonde children?  Is she part of the Aryan Nation and thinks they are more pure?   There never was a brunette, African American, or Asian child that caught her fancy?