S03.E00: Matchmaking Special / S03.E01: Wedding Preparations

[sleekandchic]

One good thing - the geographic and logistical problems are not here like they were in NYC.

I think Pepper mentioned that one of the couples each owned his and her homes. Neil and Sam? I wondered how that would work long-term...who will keep the house or condo; who will need to sell? That's a potential problem, but Pepper cast the info only in the positive light that both people were mature and successful.

I noticed last night, for all the hopeful interviews and testing and soul-searching, once an expert appeared to announce, "we have a match for you," all six people looked shocked and a little sick. I'm guessing almost all the applicants go in for the wackadoodle experience and for the stipend but completely doubt they'd ever be chosen. Lots of Holy Shit-faces, I thought. Both Dave and Sam tried to recover by asking for hugs.

[zxy556575]

How surprised can the family members and friends be, really?

 

"Okay, I have something to tell you and it has nothing to do with the camera crew and lights being set up, the microphones you're wearing, or all the producers milling around."

[Vinyasa]

Yes - please don't post spoilers here!

 

Completely agree. This is not the thread for spoilers.

 

The season just started yesterday! Don't spoil it!

[Tara Ariano]

In case you missed it, here's the Previously.TV post on the episode!

 

'I'm Scared That I'm Gonna, Like, Puke In My Dress,' Says One Of The Stars Of A Show Called Married At First Sight
As Married At First Sight returns for its third season, we're ranking the couples in order of terribleness.

[cardigirl]

Did someone say that some of the girls from Season 2 were shown in the first few minutes of the new season? I can't find them in the new episode, so maybe I just imagined someone said it.

[Neurochick]

I read an article which stated that African American women and Asian men were the least likely to marry outside of their race, so that comment didn't surprise me. However, I don't know what to make of the men being so adamant about not wanting to be matched with someone of their own race. What's that about?

I think s lot of black men have convinced themselves that something is terribly wrong with black women, many make excuses why they don't want black women. Some of it is mostly " grass is greener" bullshit.

[Snarklepuss]

Well, I just caught up with this.  No surprise, I came here to say what everyone else already said - That Tres looks like a player with serious abandonment issues and that Sam has the crazy eyes.  She seems so familiar to me.  I am sure I've seen her somewhere before or she's a ringer for someone.  Actually I think Neil has the crazy eyes too.  Mr. Snarkle kept wincing every time Neil opened his eyes wide and said, "He shouldn't do that, it's creeping me out".  The beard before he trimmed it creeped me out too.  If he didn't know how off putting that insane level of wild growth could be to women, I don't know if there's any hope for him.  Plus, I just don't find him attractive at all.

 

The way Tres went on about how he "likes his sex" made my eyes roll.  Meanwhile Vanessa learned about sex from "Sex and the City" where obviously Charlotte was her role model, LOL.  Not gonna work, IMO.  Tres is supposedly a "Luxury Car Salesman".  My husband who once sold luxury cars said, "That means he's a slimeball".  LOL.

 

Unless Sam and Neil quirk at the same angle, they're not going to work either.  Two quirky people can either blow up or even if it works turn out to be a creepy couple.

 

My jury is out on David.  He seems too good to be true so far so my suspicions are aroused.  Plus I don't think Vanessa is prepared for this.  Nice girl but walls are a little up for my taste.  I get the aversion to the male strippers but girlfriend is way too uptight.  Wedding jitters?  Fear of ruining her good girl image with her new man?  Perhaps, too soon to tell yet.  She may flip out soon in and realize she got involved in something that wasn't for her.

 

What struck me is that most of these people don't come from a stable family with their 2 real parents who are still married.  There's divorce, desertion, death, you name it.  I suppose that explains why all of them are so eager to meet someone "to spend their lives with" but if they don't have a background of growing up with that at home, I question their ability to make that happen for themselves.  I know it's not impossible, but with the added stress of marrying someone they never met, the experts should be picking people who at least come from a stable family background or I think they're looking for trouble.  But what do we expect from these idiot "experts"?  It's obvious they still don't know what they're doing - And I didn't really expect that to change.  I feel sorry for these people being suckered into this show.

Edited December 3, 2015 by Snarklepuss

[rulesoftravel]

 

CAUTION*POSSIBLE SPOILER*  Spoiler If this is true, I wouldn't honestly be that shocked.

 I want this so much...so much. 

[deannanikki]

Am I the only one that doesn't find Neil unattractive? I wouldn't consider him hot, but his looks don't turn me off either.

[girlplease]

His granddad was a real fox, that's for sure.

[zxy556575]

I wouldn't be all, "oh my!" if I saw Neil in a crowded bar, but if we were co-workers and he asked me out, I wouldn't say no. His eyes are pretty high on the googly scale, though, and I'd be a terrible shrew about him needing to lose the beard.

 

If anybody watching in HD on a big screen could discern the vaunted pattern in Neil's tuxedo, you're better than me.

[sleekandchic]

I wonder if the TRUE reason the experts matched Neil and Sam was because they shared the unusual-eyes thing. Sam really does have the crazy-eyes going, and after the makeup artist did the smoky eye on the wedding day, I noticed how unusually closely-set Sam's eyes are. The "experts" do tend toward the unimportant, superficial stuff in-common.

I think Neil has a dry sense of humor and low-key playfulness about him. Just not sure if Sam will appreciate those qualities.

One of the biggest criticisms of the experts' matches in Season 2 was that they seemed to willfully ignore or circumvent the candidates' dealbreakers and wish lists. So I was amused this time when the four experts started "officially matching" on-screen, and announced why they could NOT match seemingly-compatible candidates. For example, the tall blonde wanted a tall guy, so Pepper made sure to mention how a pairing with the shorter Dave would probably be a disaster.

Last season, the experts would have made a phony rationale for matching a 5' 10" woman with a guy she'd be unhappy with at first sight. Because...you know...the Experts always knew best last season. TPTB definitely attempted to retool their approach for Season 3, I think.

Edited December 3, 2015 by sleekandchic

[Snarklepuss]

Am I the only one that doesn't find Neil unattractive? I wouldn't consider him hot, but his looks don't turn me off either.

 

I find him a lot more attractive with the beard trimmed, but I still don't find him attractive nonetheless.  Just not someone I were to be happy about if they were to be put in front of me at the altar.  I think if he had a different personality it might change how I feel.  If he turns out to be the greatest guy ever I might learn to find him more attractive.

Edited December 3, 2015 by Snarklepuss

[ClareWalks]

Neil has a very appealing voice. Low and mellow. Agree that the beard has got to go, though. It's so dark it looks painted on.

[SaucyMommy]

I don't think he's unattractive, but he's for certain not my taste. In fact none of the cast this season - are overly attractive. The only thing I can think about them all coming from broken places or trauma - is that it's made them more willing to take crazy risks to find love as they have no understanding of what a true marriage looks like.  But that's just my thought. I would not explain Doug in Season 1 or Sean in season 2. But the jury is still out on the fame whore level of Doug at this point. Snarklepuss it definitely sums up Jamie from Season 1 to a T

[Vinyasa]

The way Tres went on about how he "likes his sex" made my eyes roll.  Meanwhile Vanessa learned about sex from "Sex and the City" where obviously Charlotte was her role model, LOL.

 

I'm sure the producers have about 75% of what these people say is scripted!

[Neurochick]

What struck me is that most of these people don't come from a stable family with their 2 real parents who are still married.  There's divorce, desertion, death, you name it.  I suppose that explains why all of them are so eager to meet someone "to spend their lives with" but if they don't have a background of growing up with that at home, I question their ability to make that happen for themselves.  I know it's not impossible, but with the added stress of marrying someone they never met, the experts should be picking people who at least come from a stable family background or I think they're looking for trouble.  But what do we expect from these idiot "experts"?  It's obvious they still don't know what they're doing - And I didn't really expect that to change.  I feel sorry for these people being suckered into this show.

 

 

If they only took people who come from "stable families" they'd probably get about 100 people, because that type of family that has no death, desertion or divorce is a crapshoot, luck, nothing more.  People die, that's life; and sometimes it's best to get divorced than to remain in a miserable marriage.  

[cardigirl]

I wouldn't be all, "oh my!" if I saw Neil in a crowded bar, but if we were co-workers and he asked me out, I wouldn't say no. His eyes are pretty high on the googly scale, though, and I'd be a terrible shrew about him needing to lose the beard.

 

If anybody watching in HD on a big screen could discern the vaunted pattern in Neil's tuxedo, you're better than me.

It was the material, not really a color, that was patterned.  More of a textured look?    I thought it was rather nice.

[cardigirl]

One thing that kinda bugged me was the wedding dress shopping.  I mean, I enjoy watching people try on dresses, but asking "Is this your dress?"  was too  much like a different show, Say Yes to the Dress.  Ugh.

[tinypeanut]

What struck me is that most of these people don't come from a stable family with their 2 real parents who are still married.  There's divorce, desertion, death, you name it.  I suppose that explains why all of them are so eager to meet someone "to spend their lives with" but if they don't have a background of growing up with that at home, I question their ability to make that happen for themselves.  I know it's not impossible, but with the added stress of marrying someone they never met, the experts should be picking people who at least come from a stable family background or I think they're looking for trouble.  But what do we expect from these idiot "experts"?  It's obvious they still don't know what they're doing - And I didn't really expect that to change.  I feel sorry for these people being suckered into this show.

I completely agree with this.  Many of my family members who are products of divorce from this generation never married.   

Edited December 3, 2015 by tinypeanut

[Momof2boyz]

Am I the only one that doesn't find Neil unattractive? I wouldn't consider him hot, but his looks don't turn me off either.

I initially found him pretty unattractive and the beard really skeeved me out.  When I look at him closely his features are actually not unattractive, but there is still something very off putting about him.

[Snarklepuss]

If they only took people who come from "stable families" they'd probably get about 100 people, because that type of family that has no death, desertion or divorce is a crapshoot, luck, nothing more.  People die, that's life; and sometimes it's best to get divorced than to remain in a miserable marriage.  

 

Oh for sure, but statistics consistently show that children of divorce are more likely to divorce themselves - Let's not even go there with someone whose opposite sex parent deserted them - I shudder to think of the negative baggage that guy brings with him.  I think that such people are on shaky ground to begin with under the best of circumstances as far as being able to succeed at marriage, let alone under conditions that have them meeting their spouse for the first time at the altar.  Admittedly, death of a parent I don't know much about, but it has to be a better scenario especially if the living parent has remarried and the child has a good relationship with their step parent.

 

I have to wonder if the pool of candidates who apply for this show is skewed heavily toward people with relationship issues.  Often such people desperately WANT to have a successful, long lasting relationship but don't know how to do it so they're looking for a "magic solution" like this show offers them.  We might be blaming the experts when the pool of candidates sucks to begin with and they're just trying to find the best they can under the circumstances.

[Pepper Mostly]

Neil has a very appealing voice. Low and mellow. Agree that the beard has got to go, though. It's so dark it looks painted on.

I'm an old hippie so I don't object to facial hair. He does look nicer with it trimmed. The thing I noticed and liked about Neil was that he had a houseful of friends over for the Ceremonial Beard Trimming. I just loved that he seems to have a large, supportive, fun bunch of friends. The tattoos cracked me up.

[BonnieLass]

So far, Neil is my favorite of the men. Sure, he may not have super model looks, but he's funny and seems genuine. His friends are 100% supportive. He's on good terms and still friends with his ex-girlfriend. I think that speaks volumes about his character.

 

Tres and David both seem to come off as insincere to me, but I'm hoping that I'm wrong. 

 

I like Sam (she's quirky, like me!) and Vanessa seems sweet, but I'm on the fence about Ashley. Time will tell. 

 

[Chloecat]

I am guessing that Tres stepped away to ask her family permission to marry, I thought he headed that direction but could be wrong. Totally calling red herring on this one.

[still hoping]

I liked the wedding venues so much better than last season

Sunshine, lovely spaces.....I am sure cheaper and  easier to arrange than NYC

Just the logistics had to be easier

 

I also like everyone's apt so much better

last season  made  me claustrophobic

[Crazy Bird Lady]

Too early to tell about these couples. I like David and Ashley, so far. I think I see potential there.

 

As for these people all being flawed in the relationship department: of course they are!! If they weren't, they wouldn't be close to 30 years old & wanting to marry, but still unable to find anyone. 

This show gives them a wild, crazy chance at compatibility and love. But that's all it does. I just hope the matches turn out better this year than they did last time!

[Kiss my mutt]

Major upgrade on the wedding venues. The one they used the last two seasons looked like a place you'd hold a real estate seminar on how to get your license in 30 minutes.

[princelina]

Currently watching the "Matchmaking Special," and something really leaped out at me. They had a scene where they talked about how the black guys don't want to be matched with black women; meanwhile, the black women all want to be matched with black men. Is this a widespread phenomenon in Atlanta? Otherwise I'm not sure why they brought it up. Seemed like it was a bit gratuitous, since it was out of the blue and almost throwing the guys under the bus a bit (deservedly or not). It was a weird scene, anyway.

 

Agree with everyone above that they really seem to be trying to put together better matches, or at least they're really trying to come across like they are. They've also said about a thousand caveats that "matching doesn't mean we guarantee success!"

I thought that their point was that they thought they could have had some matches with those folks personality-wise, but them having race as a dealbreaker was limiting.

 

I kind of liked everyone so I'm already feeling sad about having their inner douchebags start to fly!

 

If I took a drink everytime that twat Logan reminded the "experts" that "we're not fixing up blind dates!  No anullments!" I'd be hammered right now.  Shut it, bitch.

[AussieBabe]

Mmm. Initial thoughts...Ashley could loosen up a little. I get the stripper thing. I wouldn't want my professors/colleagues to see a stripper gyrating and grinding on me like a scene from Magic Mike. Things like that stick with you forever. Dave just doesn't seem sincere to me. Very off putting like Sean. He says the right things, but I still found myself raising my eyebrow for the gods whenever he came on the screen. I don't see this pair lasting.

Sam and Neil. I don't like his crazy eyes or all her tears. Calm it down. We're one episode in, and every scene shows you in tears. I think there is potential there. Overall I'm getting better vibes from these two than anybody on season two. He's not attractive to me as I'm not attracted to anyone unless I'm in love. I'm weird and quirky like that. He seems to have a fun personality and seems like he comes from a nice family. It probably helps that his grandmother was arranged, and she can be a beacon of support and guidance.

Tres and Vanessa. Oh sweet baby Jesus in a onesie. I refuse to believe his mum abandoning him has not shaped him. And Vanessa? What was up with her father not attending her wedding? They didn't show her contacting him or anything. I know she said her parents went through a contentious divorce, but what does her relationship with him look like? They're visually appealing, but looks are superficial. I'm hoping it works out for them. Idk, though. I'm weary when ever a 26 year old says she's tried everything. You mean...there are 7 billion people in the world and there was absolutely no one? Hell have you ever even lived outside of Atlanta? Wow.

The experts. I was hoping for a fresh crop. I love Dr. Pepper. She was the only one who was apologetic about the travesty of last season. Dr. Cilona...ugh. Shut up. Dr. Logan. Girl bye. They're still putting people together based on superficial crap. "They both come from broken homes? Boom. Match! Yeah!" "They're both quirky and like pets? Match number two." "She's uptight and he's jamming to "Finna Get Loose" by Pharell and Puffy? Match. He can get her to be looser and to relax. Smh.

I'll keep watching and hoping for a better end.

[Snarklepuss]

Major upgrade on the wedding venues. The one they used the last two seasons looked like a place you'd hold a real estate seminar on how to get your license in 30 minutes.

 

LOL, true, but that space would cost a lot in NYC.  Forget about anywhere as nice as this season!  Unless they went out to the NY burbs.  That hotel last season looked to me like it was in Manhattan.  I've been to rooms just like that in the past.  Same goes for the apartments.  What they can afford in Atlanta is so much nicer.

[Liberty]

Poseur Joe's new jacket sucks, miss the piping that served him so well last season.  Maybe it's like a superstitious athlete wearing the same socks until he/she loses, and Poseur Joe sure had a losing season last season.

 

Sam and Neil both have a thing for their grandparents.  Good choices, given how well characters who adored their grandparents worked for them last season.

Edited December 4, 2015 by Liberty

[SaucyMommy]

Poseur Joe's new jacket sucks, miss the piping that served him so well last season.  Maybe it's like a superstitious athlete wearing the same socks until he/she loses, and Poseur Joe sure had a losing season last season.

 

Sam and Neil both have a thing for their grandparents.  Good choices, given how well characters who adored their grandparents worked for them last season.

 

You called them characters. That made me LOL

[CindyBee]

Can't believe that after last season's trainwreck, I'm back for another season.  Sigh.

 

I like Sam & Neil the best too.   And yes his grandmother should be a help to them, if both of them are truly interested in being married.  

 

Not sure about the other four yet.  Maybe I'll have time to rewatch some of the first episode again this weekend to get a better feel for them. 

[jamblastx]

I hear ya CindyBee...why the eff am I back to watch this show?! Well for me, luckily there is the fast forward on the DVR where I can watch this two plus hour snoozefest in a tidy 30 minutes especially with every mention of the word 'experiment' (this is NOT an experiment....its a very contrived reality show just like every other reality show. It's no documentary even though I wish it was because THEN it would truly be interesting), all the 'coming up on MAF' before each commercial break and a recap of what we just saw coming back from the commercial...its as if the producers think we have the attention span and retention of a fruit fly, and just the endless repetition of things we already know about these people. Then of course there is the creative editing...does anyone even REMOTELY believe that Tres is walking away? Please....I guarantee that all he was doing was to relax himself to Vanessa and pause to release the tension before continuing to the vows.

I truly loved the first season and I bought into the documentary aspect of the show....but even that looking back was so contrived especially the more we see the season one couples with their endless parade of shows and spinoffs trying to convince us that they are even remotely interesting to us and to each other. And season two....even FYI is burying those chumps under the rug and pretending as if it never happened.

I apologize for being so negative...I'll just shut up for now...

[PityFree]

The thing I'm wondering is how on earth did they find six people who had never bothered to watch the show? anyone who had seen last season or the season before would know the "experts" are full of it!

Edited December 4, 2015 by PityFree

[qtpye]

I think they were doing this before the horror of season 2 was out in the open.  They recruited people with the promise that just like the first season, two couples had made it and were happy.  If you recall, in the season 2 finale, two couples still wanted to stay married.  It was not until the reunion did we realize how fake the show really was.

 

I truly loved the first season and I bought into the documentary aspect of the show....but even that looking back was so contrived especially the more we see the season one couples with their endless parade of shows and spinoffs trying to convince us that they are even remotely interesting to us and to each other. And season two....even FYI is burying those chumps under the rug and pretending as if it never happened.

I apologize for being so negative...I'll just shut up for now...

 

 

I feel the same way.  The first season really sucked me in.  I would feel much better if they admitted that they picked unsuitable men for the experiment, because the available pool just was not photogenic enough for television.

 

I think, besides, Jamie, the first season couples were sincere.  I think they had a lucky break, with season 2 being such a disaster and got an extension on their 15 minutes of fame.  They are trying to cash in before it all goes away, which is not pretty, but is understandable.  Most of these people will never be earning this type of money again.  Heck, most of us do not earn that type of money, but have too much dignity to ever go on a show like this.

Edited December 4, 2015 by qtpye

[Kiss my mutt]

Neil has a very intense look. I'll leave it at that.

[moonxyz]

I was finally able to watch the show:

 

Overall: The tone is a bit more sober. The contestants are less fame hungry and more grounded than the previous bunch.

 

Neil: I feel like an asshole but I get serial killer mixed with hipster know it all vibes from him. I don't know if he's sincere, or doing this experiment to be ironic.

 

Samantha: I'm not a doctor but I get a slight mentally unstable vibe from her. And girl please, lay off the grandparents talk. It was was too overplayed in season 2. I haven't seen them interact, so I don't know if they would last. Both are sort of crazy so it could work? 

 

David: There's bit too much "bro" in him. Too many guy firends. I don't see him making his wife a priority. I also don't get the sense that he truely desires to get married

 

Ashley: Vanilla. I can't read her. Way too guarded. I don't know if this show is for her. Probably panicked at being single at 30. I don't know if she's gonna be willing to put in the work for her relationship to succeed.

 

Vanessa: Pretty but I think she's too young for this. I question her decision to be on this show. At 26 why panic and sign up for an arranged wedding?. The Sex & the City comment was a bit of a red flag. The majority of the women I know who watch the show have very unrealistic expectations about relationships in general

 

Tres: This show loves people with difficult childhoods don’t' they? He doesn't offend, he's very country. I don't know if he's sophisticated enough for Vanessa. We shall see. And I get slight player vibes from him.

 

Prediction: At episode 1; I think that David and Ashely will get divorced. I’m unsure about the other 2 couples.

[psychoticstate]

I've never seen this series before and got a wild hair and decided to record the first epi of this season.  I assumed it would put me to sleep but man, did I get sucked in.  I am absolutely fascinated by this entire concept.   I have to admit that seeing a 25 year old saying that she had tried EVERYTHING and just couldn't find the right man to marry forced me to give her the side eye and make me worry for the future.  Girl, you're 25.  Settle down there, Skippy.  I can see maybe people who are 30 and especially those over 35, 40 and beyond . . . or even those who have been married and divorced.  But I can't imagine never seeing your fiancé or even knowing his name until you walk down the aisle.  

 

That said, I'm in.  I love Neil and his quirkiness.  The fact that he's still good friends with his ex and she helped to describe what kind of person he needed and what he was like speaks volumes.  He's clearly a good guy.  I have a feeling Tres is going to be majorly needy and codependent.  Maybe he should be seeking therapy for his mother leaving him instead of seeking a wife.  David seems like an awesome, perfect guy to me so he's probably a wolf in sheep's clothing.   

 

I'm originally from Atlanta and I've always heard that there are far more available women than men so I'm confused as to how these guys can't date or find a good woman. 

 

But I'm still in.

[Kiss my mutt]

I have a feeling that Ashley is not going to be incredibly attracted to Dave. He doesn't seem to have any swagger for lack of a better word. He doesn't seem to be self-possessed or confident. Combined with just looking sloppy and that he doesn't take care of himself I just don't see her being wooed. I thought she looked stunning in her dress.

Samantha is either going to love Neil or be repulsed. Neil should be happy with his ex girlfriend doppelgänger.

Vanessa is just gorgeous. I think she is what season one's Vaughn had in mind.

[Neurochick]

LOL, true, but that space would cost a lot in NYC. Forget about anywhere as nice as this season! Unless they went out to the NY burbs. That hotel last season looked to me like it was in Manhattan. I've been to rooms just like that in the past. Same goes for the apartments. What they can afford in Atlanta is so much nicer.

I have to disagree. I live in NYC and have been to many weddings in nice places. In fact I thought the venues this season looked cheap, like from the eighties.

As for Vanessa saying she's tried everything, she may be right. Things are different for black women, especially for black women who want to marry black men.

Edited December 5, 2015 by Neurochick

[Snarklepuss]

I have to disagree. I live in NYC and have been to many weddings in nice places. In fact I thought the venues this season looked cheap, like from the eighties.

 

I was talking about how much it would cost to get a place as nice as those they've shown us in Atlanta in NYC.  I didn't say that equally nice places weren't available in NY - They are but probably at a much greater price.  To get something as nice at a more reasonable price in the NY area one would have to go farther away from the city.  Which season are you talking about being cheap and dated?  I don't agree that the Atlanta venues look cheap or dated comparatively speaking.  The ones in NYC last season did look dated in my opinion.  They looked like they were in some 2 star hotel.  They actually reminded me of the OLD Plaza Hotel rooms 35 years ago. 

 

My husband was a part time wedding photographer for over 20 years in NYC and CT and I've watched zillions of wedding shows so it's not like I haven't seen what's out there.  I think it comes down to a matter of taste and the local culture.  Wedding venues outside Manhattan tend to be more traditional from what I've seen, and in the Southern US more traditional than the North.

Edited December 5, 2015 by Snarklepuss

[Neurochick]

We will have to disagree, I didn't like the places bin Atlanta, in fact they all looked the same to me, cheap.

[Snarklepuss]

Admittedly we haven't seen much of the venues in Atlanta yet - One looks like an outdoor wedding in a pretty location, the other a rustic barn-like situation, and one is in an average traditional wedding hall, so I'm not sure how "all the same" they're going to be.  I think they're going to look average but not especially cheap to me.  Cheap to me is Party City decorations with paper plates and plastic utensils, which I have seen even in NYC in church basement receptions (courtesy of the TLC show "Four Weddings").  I'll let you know if my opinion changes once they show more of the weddings.

Edited December 5, 2015 by Snarklepuss

[Neurochick]

The venues look like places I've seen in Long Island.

I wonder if Tres' mother is still alive and if she knows her son's on TV.

She sounds like a horrible person.

Why are the black people the only couple getting married outside? Atlanta can be mad hot at times.

Edited December 6, 2015 by Neurochick

[sleekandchic]

I am moving this reply here from the Season 3 Media.... thread:

I understood that Tres' black side of the family could not accept the white wife (his mother) and they divorced. I did not hear she abandoned him.

Oh yes, Tres was very clear about the hurt and abandonment he felt when Mother split with his older sister. He said his sister "looks almost 100% white," and he felt that was the reason Mother took her after the divorce, but left 3-year-old Tres behind. I think Tres also said that the woman tried for a reconciliation when he was 12? But it didn't work out because of his lack of trust?

I wasn't sure if grams and aunties disapproved of Mother from day one, or if they turned on her after she abandoned her son?

You know, families' marriage, divorce and custody issues are ALWAYS more complicated and multilayered than children can comprehend. For example it wouldn't surprise me to learn that Mother took daughter and Father kept son based more on gender and pride. But whatever the Truth, Tres's hurt in what he believes is palpable.

[Wings]

Thanks sleekandchic.  The episode did not have my full attention; it was way too long and boring.   So mom took the daughter and left him behind.  Ouch.  That is tragic.  

 

So tell me, what did you hear?  Did he specifically say he wanted a white woman?  A black woman?  Or did not have a preference?  

 

Thanks in advance!  

[sleekandchic]

You're welcome, wings707!

Re your question, I wrote a post @1:17pm today in the Season 3 Media...Spoiler-y thread. I don't want to quote it here because it's based on a spoiler. :)

(Getting tennis-match neckache darting from thread to thread today! Ha!)

[moonxyz]

Well I understood the opposite: that his mom's family threatened to disown her. Therefore she abandoned her black looking son. She came back when he was 11, probably guided by guilt, but slowly stopped visiting and calling.

 

As for his preference: he said he didn't have one. I think his abandonment issues wiht his mom may indicate that he could prefer white women over other, but his reaction to Vanessa/her family tells me otherwise.