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Janelle Brown: Smarter Than Your Average Brown (Maybe)


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Hilarious, MFM!  However the correct grammar, spelling and complete sentences sort of gives it away, and she wouldn't marinate her own ribeye, she'd buy it pre-marinated in a bag for an extra $10 and include a photo of the packaging.  Janelle would probably think that is a nice photo of her "thinking", but to us she looks confused and constipated.  

Edited by deirdra
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Add "nutritional powerhouse" to Janelle's list of awesome phrases. That she uses over & over again. Buy a freaking thesaurus, Janelle, for God's sake you're supposed to be a "blogger". Everything is a nutritional rock star or nutritional powerhouse.

Vegetables are good for you? SHOCKING, Janelle. I'd have never known that without you.

Dictionary.com, Janelle. Synonyms provided for you right along with the definition. I know that's a lot of hard work, but the extra mouse clicks burn calories!!! 

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22 minutes ago, laurakaye said:

She can get all the online certifications she wants, but until she loses 400 pounds of Meri and Kody, absolutely nothing is going to change for her.  Ever.

I pick on Janelle for making herself seem so dumb, but I really do think it's partly the family dynamic. Janelle may feel so micro-managed that she can't well make a decision for herself without questioning it or coming off as non-committal (as evidenced by her Strive comments). If she were on her own--and she has been--she'd likely become a different person. 

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3 hours ago, Sandy W said:

1.  Make an appointment with a Physician for a complete physical examination and blood work to determine any health problems you may have.

2.  Get yourself to a REAL Psychologist to find out the root cause of why you would subject yourself to this demeaning lifestyle, then take action to resolve your issues.

3.  Skip the hocus pocus food experiments and get yourself to Weight Watchers or some other credible weight loss program.

4.  Join a gym and attend regularly.

5.  Stop with the esoteric searches for fulfillment and get on with the practical aspects of living a life as a respected wife, mother and grandmother.

This is great advice (for anyone, not just Janelle!). She reminds me of my cousin, who is constantly buying more and more STUFF because she’s seeking something meaningful and valuable in her life and doesn’t know how to find it. Janelle needs professional help, badly. 

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2 hours ago, ginger90 said:

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Well duh!  Meri Brown doesn't wear a ring because she doesn't give two craps about Kody and they are now divorced.  (So there!)   Oh wait - she won't reply that way, will she.......

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Janelle pretty much has to say "forget the scale" because we can all see what her scale is reading...up up up. So being obese is healthy now? Head over to Whitney Thore's bullshit show, Janelle, you'll fit right in.

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33 minutes ago, Sasha888 said:

Janelle pretty much has to say "forget the scale" because we can all see what her scale is reading...up up up. So being obese is healthy now? Head over to Whitney Thore's bullshit show, Janelle, you'll fit right in.

Glad someone else sees that as I do.    For the life of me I can't think why TLC thought her life would be worth watching.  Fabulous? ::::Snort!::::

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2 hours ago, Kyanight said:

Glad someone else sees that as I do.    For the life of me I can't think why TLC thought her life would be worth watching.  Fabulous? ::::Snort!::::

Apparently it's so fabulous she has to bawl on camera every week...I haven't been keeping up with it this year, just checking the forum.

She & Janelle have a lot in common. Two miserably unhappy people eating themselves into oblivion...the difference is Janelle internalizes it, and Twitney is either braying her loud donkey laugh or crying.

They both need meds, in my opinion.

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10 hours ago, Sasha888 said:

Apparently it's so fabulous she has to bawl on camera every week...I haven't been keeping up with it this year, just checking the forum.

She & Janelle have a lot in common. Two miserably unhappy people eating themselves into oblivion...the difference is Janelle internalizes it, and Twitney is either braying her loud donkey laugh or crying.

They both need meds, in my opinion.

I think I lasted one season with Whitney the Braying Whiner.  That laugh is too much, and I saw nothing "fabulous" about her at all.  Janelle smashed a scale to bits a few seasons ago, when she actually managed to lose a few.  I'd bet she hasn't weighed in since.

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"....augment my self-care time"...

What is with these people and their self care?  What kind of shrinking violets are the, anyway that they need to keep harping on self care. It's not like they are living in the a carnivore infested wilderness or have jobs that put their lives in danger on a regular basis.  How taxing is grifting?  Is planning your next bankruptcy so gut wrenching?

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When I have those "awake at night cycles", it's usually necessitated by a need for a trip to the john.  If I have trouble getting back to sleep, I'll sometimes crank up my laptop to see if anything is happening here. 

Janelle may be well-advised to do the same, she would learn how her random ramblings are received by the viewing audience.

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On 2/1/2019 at 10:58 AM, Pachengala said:

This is great advice (for anyone, not just Janelle!). She reminds me of my cousin, who is constantly buying more and more STUFF because she’s seeking something meaningful and valuable in her life and doesn’t know how to find it. Janelle needs professional help, badly. 

I have a cousin and a sister who are the same way. Currently, sis is doing some "Chakra experience" thing, and may get into essential oils next. I just can't with this stuff!

Hey, I enjoy some New-Agey things - I've always loved lavender, I have a few crystals that sit on my dresser looking pretty, I go to those shops that smell good and have all kinds of woo - but I don't really believe that any of it helps in a scientific, medically-proven way. If someone likes a pretty crystal or enjoys the scent of an essential oil, more power to them - but maybe finding out why one is constantly searching for the next thing that will bring meaning to their life should be a priority.

On 2/3/2019 at 1:16 PM, Kohola3 said:

"....augment my self-care time"...

What is with these people and their self care?  What kind of shrinking violets are the, anyway that they need to keep harping on self care. It's not like they are living in the a carnivore infested wilderness or have jobs that put their lives in danger on a regular basis.  How taxing is grifting?  Is planning your next bankruptcy so gut wrenching?

The world is filled with delicate doilies who need to pamper themselves as much as possible because of the daily stresses of, you know, working, paying bills, having responsibilities, all that taxing stuff they have to do called "adulting". It's better than popping pills or abusing alcohol, but jeez. If Janelle's life is so stressful, maybe she should take a few things off her plate - literally AND figuratively! That goes for Mariah too - don't take on more than you can handle, you'll be better off for it. 

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On 2/3/2019 at 10:09 AM, ginger90 said:

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If I had four mortgages in Vegas, four mortgages (or rent) in Flag as well as payments on land in Flag I would be up nights too.

Excuse me now.  Its self - care time.

Edited by toodles
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3 hours ago, ChristmasJones said:

The word adulting drives me completely batty. I just cannot stand it. 

I feel like it is the same as saying "childing" or "teenaging" - which both sound utterly ridiculous.  

There are other terms that annoy me a lot more, but I get why it bothers some people. Me, I take it as a tongue-in-cheek way of saying that being a grown-up is hard sometimes. Still get a bit annoyed by it though.

I hate the term "hack", as in "10 hacks to make your life easier" or what have you. I just can't stand the word used in that manner. It seems like the wrong definition of the word, as well as sounding not at all pleasing to the ear when used in that type of positive manner. 
 

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1 hour ago, Gothish520 said:

I hate the term "hack", as in "10 hacks to make your life easier" or what have you. I just can't stand the word used in that manner. It seems like the wrong definition of the word

Agreed!  My favorite definition of hack is defined below.  

cat barfs hairball 1.jpg

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On 2/2/2019 at 12:48 PM, ginger90 said:

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But, I thought that Janelle had gotten into walking some time ago....recall her and Kody going on that hike that demonstrated her newfound energy?  Maybe, I'm confusing her with a different wife....

I suspect that Janelle's blog may really appeal to those like minded people who really aren't interested in doing REAL work on themselves or really making any lifestyle changes. You can pay it lip service, but, to really change the way you eat....it's a big deal and not something you can just talk about like a whimsical tidbit that you move towards at a snail's pace.  I'm wary of those who profess to want weight loss that constantly use the term "baby steps."  Slow weight loss is fine, but, if it's been years since you started your journey.....I'd examine the efforts with the help of a doctor or nutritionist. 

Edited by SunnyBeBe
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Hey y'all don't shame me because I don't like the word adulting!!  I need to go to a coffee shop and drink an organic, non-fat, non-gmo, sugar-free, gluten-free, almond milk chia seed high protein chai latte and do some serious self-care with my on-line therapist who I can text 24 hours a day. 

Oh, wait, I thought I was on Mariah's thread... whoops....

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3 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

But, I thought that Janelle had gotten into walking some time ago....recall her and Kody going on that hike that demonstrated her newfound energy?  Maybe, I'm confusing her with a different wife....

I suspect that Janelle's blog may really appeal to those like minded people who really aren't interested in doing REAL work on themselves or really making any lifestyle changes. You can pay it lip service, but, to really change the way you eat....it's a big deal and not something you can just talk about like a whimsical tidbit that you move towards at a snail's pace.  I'm wary of those who profess to want weight loss that constantly use the term "baby steps."  Slow weight loss is fine, but, if it's been years since you started your journey.....I'd examine the efforts with the help of a doctor or nutritionist. 

And Janelle wrote that she's "starting to change her lifestyle and incorporate more movement and better nutrition" Starting? STARTING? How long has she been starting now, 3 years?! Idiot! 

3 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

But, I thought that Janelle had gotten into walking some time ago....recall her and Kody going on that hike that demonstrated her newfound energy?  Maybe, I'm confusing her with a different wife....

I suspect that Janelle's blog may really appeal to those like minded people who really aren't interested in doing REAL work on themselves or really making any lifestyle changes. You can pay it lip service, but, to really change the way you eat....it's a big deal and not something you can just talk about like a whimsical tidbit that you move towards at a snail's pace.  I'm wary of those who profess to want weight loss that constantly use the term "baby steps."  Slow weight loss is fine, but, if it's been years since you started your journey.....I'd examine the efforts with the help of a doctor or nutritionist. 

And Janelle wrote that she's "starting to change her lifestyle and incorporate more movement and better nutrition" Starting? STARTING? How long has she been starting now, 3 years?! Idiot! 

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14 minutes ago, ChristmasJones said:

Hey y'all don't shame me because I don't like the word adulting!!  I need to go to a coffee shop and drink an organic, non-fat, non-gmo, sugar-free, gluten-free, almond milk chia seed high protein chai latte and do some serious self-care with my on-line therapist who I can text 24 hours a day. 

Oh, wait, I thought I was on Mariah's thread... whoops....

LOL! No shame, perfectly understandable why it irks you!

I think your post is equally at home on either thread! I get that people like what they like and if someone wants to order a fancy frou-frou drink, that's fine - but boy is it annoying when I'm stuck behind them in line when all I want is a cup of regular old dark roast.

21 minutes ago, TurtlePower said:

And Janelle wrote that she's "starting to change her lifestyle and incorporate more movement and better nutrition" Starting? STARTING? How long has she been starting now, 3 years?! Idiot! 

Exactly!

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3 hours ago, ChristmasJones said:

Hey y'all don't shame me because I don't like the word adulting!! 

 

Hey, I'm right there with you.  so now a kid learning to walk is toddlering and an screaming infant is babying and an obnoxious teen is, what, teening?

While I don't expect language from the 19th century to be common, a lot of this cutesy stuff drives me nuts.  Mariah and her "sesh" talk makes me want to smack her.  Apparently she thinks it's just "adorbs".

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I wonder how Robin fills about Janelle and Meri not wearing their wedding rings nor their sisterwives joory rings that the wives exchanged amongst themselves?

Edited by deirdra
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6 minutes ago, deirdra said:

I wonder how Robin fills about Janelle and Meri not wearing their wedding rings nor their sisterwives joory rings that the wives exchanged amongst themselves?

Yeah.... that commitment ceremony (or whatever it was) has come and gone.  

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On 2/3/2019 at 11:09 AM, ginger90 said:

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Reading this is like white noise and would put me back to sleep with Janelle rumblings.. see my idea for Janelle would be a game changer, a show stopper... if she would just read her idiotic strive postings to me, I guarantee I would be out like a light in less than 3 minutes.

And the reason why no ring, probably because her fingers are too pudgy to wear the ones Kody got her

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3 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

Yeah.... that commitment ceremony (or whatever it was) has come and gone.  

Also, there were the Claddagh rings, they apparently all had and then bestowed one on Robyn and she tearfully accepted on her wedding day.

We welcome you to the harem Robyn and we rilly, rilly love you.

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Just now, Sandy W said:

Also, there were the Claddagh rings, they apparently all had and then bestowed one on Robyn and she tearfully accepted on her wedding day.

We welcome you to the harem Robyn and we rilly, rilly love you.

And then Robyn schemed and became numero uno/legal wife and they were still left out in the cold.  No wonder they always wear leggings.

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14 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

Yeah.... that commitment ceremony (or whatever it was) has come and gone.  

One thing I can get behind - they all definitely need to be committed.  To someplace that deprograms sheep wives.

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12 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

One thing I can get behind - they all definitely need to be committed.  To someplace that deprograms sheep wives.

Pardoan em wuah??  WHAT exactly is wrong with a sheep?*

 

* see icon

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24 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

One thing I can get behind - they all definitely need to be committed.  To someplace that deprograms sheep wives.

That could be a good show.  After all these plyg shows, a deprogramming show would be a breath of fresh air.

Edited by deirdra
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20 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

One thing I can get behind - they all definitely need to be committed.  To someplace that deprograms sheep wives.

 

7 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

Pardoan em wuah??  WHAT exactly is wrong with a sheep?*

 

* see icon

 

Now now.... love should be multiplied, not divided 

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47 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

Can you feel the (Brown's) love?  :D

Your icon is cute, but sheeple wives are not.  At least, not these four.  Does Janelle still have Strivers willing to pay for her bullshit posts?  White noise?  What?  Kootie's snoring doesn't count?

I love you guys here <3

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5 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

Your icon is cute, but sheeple wives are not.  At least, not these four.  Does Janelle still have Strivers willing to pay for her bullshit posts?  White noise?  What?  Kootie's snoring doesn't count?

I love you guys here <3

HAAAAAAAA - I was going to make a comment about Kody's snoring but then just didn't do it.   My ex's snoring sounded like a semi idling.  There was nothing "white noise" about it.  I picture Kody being the same.

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And so many simple little play things for the kid to choke on.  Geez, after a zillion kids doesn't she know that everything goes in a kid's mouth?

As a retired ER nurse, I have to roll my eyes at blatant stupidity.

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11 minutes ago, Kohola3 said:

And so many simple little play things for the kid to choke on.  Geez, after a zillion kids doesn't she know that everything goes in a kid's mouth?

As a retired ER nurse, I have to roll my eyes at blatant stupidity.

Those look like cotton ball puffs, although I've never seen colored ones, and I too felt a little panicky at the thought of them getting gummy in a child's throat.

I'm guessing Janelle doesn't have anything as mundane as Cheerios in her well-stocked pantry.

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4 minutes ago, Sandy W said:

Those look like cotton ball puffs, although I've never seen colored ones, and I too felt a little panicky at the thought of them getting gummy in a child's throat.

I'm guessing Janelle doesn't have anything as mundane as Cheerios in her well-stocked pantry.

Those are craft pompoms.  Not the best playtime choice.  Don't they have ANY toys for toddlers?

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2 minutes ago, Kyanight said:

Those are craft pompoms.  Not the best playtime choice.  Don't they have ANY toys for toddlers?

When I thought about it after I posted, I realized they would be for crafts.  The muffin pans with small objects is great for little ones to learn dexterity and hand to eye co-ordination, but it must be assumed that everything goes into a child's mouth, so at least make the small objects edible for a child.

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