Small Talk: The Polygamous Cul-de-Sac

[SunnyBeBe]

Thanks.  I’ll give it a try. I used to have my nail lady do it. I’m so sensitive that I could not tolerate wax. Since i was an excellent tipper, she tweezed my brows by hand and shaped them. Never thin though.  I no longer get tips so I don’t go there anymore.  She trimmed them too. 

Edited August 23, 2023 by SunnyBeBe

[ginger90]

Maddie showed their new kitchen backsplash. It still needs to be cleaned up. The reason I’m putting it here is, has anyone ever seen it done like this before, or done it like this themselves?

[xwordfanatik]

Not I, mine is all horizontal tile.  Interesting layout?  

For those on the Duggar sub-forum Sweet Fellowship, she (Maddie) is doing the index finger shot.  😜

[ginger90]

3 minutes ago, xwordfanatik said:

Not I, mine is all horizontal tile.  Interesting layout?  

For those on the Duggar sub-forum Sweet Fellowship, she (Maddie) is doing the index finger shot.  😜

I think it looks odd.

My first thought seeing the finger pointing. 🤣

[Orcinus orca]

Ugly It's like they didn't want to bother to move the stove so they just sort of crammed them in there.

[xwordfanatik]

1 hour ago, Orcinus orca said:

Ugly It's like they didn't want to bother to move the stove so they just sort of crammed them in there.

I think you've figured that out.  Like it's such a huge dill to move a stove?  🤣

[Roslyn]

I've spent the majority of my life in kitchens... That just looks weird. I could never look at that while I am cooking.

I love subway tile...but not with contrasting/dark grout.

[Rabbit Hutch]

It looks hideous...

[Gramto6]

It really is awkward looking and I agree,  it would look much better with white grout.  Especially with the sloppy way they have applied it, then at least it wouldn't be so obvious.

[LilyD]

Any advice on how to get through these freakin’ awful episodes of this season? I’m trying… I really am. But it’s such a struggle, even with my “favourite” distracting chore of folding laundry (or playing stupid ipad games) when the show is on. Kody’s rants just make me sick and there’s too much of it.

I want to watch it for all the wrong reasons (the Brown apocolypse and to stay in the loop) but they’re not making it easy. This forum is way more fun than the show!

[altopower]

1 hour ago, LilyD said:

Any advice on how to get through these freakin’ awful episodes of this season? I’m trying… I really am. But it’s such a struggle, even with my “favourite” distracting chore of folding laundry (or playing stupid ipad games) when the show is on.

Join us in the Live Chat discussion. We're very busy with one or two line responses to whatever crackbrained thing we're seeing on screen, and it feels (to me) as though we're all together talking in person about these horrible people. Except the kids. They're not horrible. Well, the OG wives aren't either. Alright, Kody and Robyn are horrible.

[Orcinus orca]

1 hour ago, LilyD said:

Any advice on how to get through these freakin’ awful episodes of this season?

Turn the sound off.  Glance up now and then to see closed captioning comments.  Kootie's voice and Sobbyn whining are much more tolerant when you can hear neither.

[General Days]

20 hours ago, altopower said:

Join us in the Live Chat discussion. We're very busy with one or two line responses to whatever crackbrained thing we're seeing on screen, and it feels (to me) as though we're all together talking in person about these horrible people. Except the kids. They're not horrible. Well, the OG wives aren't either. Alright, Kody and Robyn are horrible.

I've got to echo this. I haven't usually made a point to be around for the Live Chat, but I did it last week, and it made the episode more bearable, and made for a fun experience.

Part of the problem with Sister Wives (and I'd imagine other shows in the genre, but I don't watch them) is the editing. We get a scene teased before the break, then we come back from the break, and watch exactly what we just saw prior to the break. It's breaking me.

Also, nothing has happened on this dang show since the Great Kidney Knifing of 2021.

[Rabbit Hutch]

1 hour ago, General Days said:

...  Also, nothing has happened on this dang show since the Great Kidney Knifing of 2021.

Ah, that's where you're mistaken, General Days!  We've had the unforgettable drama when Aurora undertook Joseph Campbell's version of the  "Hero"s Journey", as she went under the needle for her ear piercings! 😳 I mean, Isabel's surgery just PALED in comparison!  🙄

This was followed up by the gripping scene when the solemn gathering of the wise tribe elders discussed (mostly nonverbally, of course) how NOT to invite the REST OF THE TRIBE to the previously much loved and enjoyable holiday function.  The tension was INSANE and certainly must DVD T.V.!  😛

*sighs* These people.. 

[General Days]

2 minutes ago, Rabbit Hutch said:

Ah, that's where you're mistaken, General Days!  We've had the unforgettable drama when Aurora undertook Joseph Campbell's version of the  "Hero"s Journey", as she went under the needle for her ear piercings! 😳 I mean, Isabel's surgery just PALED in comparison!  🙄

This was followed up by the gripping scene when the solemn gathering of the wise tribe elders discussed (mostly nonverbally, of course) how NOT to invite the REST OF THE TRIBE to the previously much loved and enjoyable holiday function.  The tension was INSANE and certainly must DVD T.V.!  😛

*sighs* These people.. 

My deepest apologies. How could I forget Earmageddon and The Year Without a Santa Claus a.k.a. Not Even Coal for Children of the Disloyal?

[Rabbit Hutch]

1 minute ago, General Days said:

My deepest apologies. How could I forget Earmageddon and The Year Without a Santa Claus a.k.a. Not Even Coal for Children of the Disloyal?

Earmageddon...🤣

[Sandy W]

Is anyone else experiencing a switch from white to a black background on this site?  It changed for me today and I find it very distracting and hard on my eyes.

[AZChristian]

25 minutes ago, Sandy W said:

Is anyone else experiencing a switch from white to a black background on this site?  It changed for me today and I find it very distracting and hard on my eyes.

Up near the top of the page is a rainbow-colored bar that has four icons on the right side.  The first one looks like a little sun.  It toggles the background from a light to a dark mode and back.  I suspect you clicked on it without meaning to.

Hope this helps.

[Sandy W]

2 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

Up near the top of the page is a rainbow-colored bar that has four icons on the right side.  The first one looks like a little sun.  It toggles the background from a light to a dark mode and back.  I suspect you clicked on it without meaning to.

Hope this helps.

Thank you so much AZChristian! Didn't find a rainbow colored bar, (using my phone) but I clicked on a crescent moon and that resolved my problem. 

[AZChristian]

Just now, Sandy W said:

Thank you so much AZChristian! Didn't find a rainbow colored bar, (using my phone) but I clicked on a crescent moon and that resolved my problem. 

Back when I worked in tech support, customers would ask me, "What did I do to make that happen?"

My answer:  "I don't know, because I wasn't watching you when it happened.  But here's how to fix it."

Glad I haven't lost my touch.

[General Days]

If that happens to anyone else, if you're on a computer, click on the little gear thingie next to your notifications.

 

[Yeah No]

I just wanted to report that I'm mostly over Covid now.  I say "mostly" because I'm still only feeling about 85% better despite testing negative now for several days.  I still feel somewhat tired and sluggish and have some lingering nasal congestion.  My sense of taste fluctuates.  At times it's full strength and others partly or mostly absent.  I never know what it's going to be although for the most part it is full strength from mid day to after dinner.

I am also feeling somewhat depressed.  I'm sure my PTSD over Covid from my father dying from it is partly a reason but I feel like it goes beyond that.  I was deathly afraid of Covid for 3 years and I feel like I'm still living in the nightmare to some degree.

I've also had some bad breaks and disappointments that have been piling up.  I would probably not be as upset about them if I didn't just have my entire life put on hold for 2 weeks, but one of them is suddenly feeling dumped by someone I thought was a friend.  It doesn't help that I already felt that way over someone who was one of my best friends for 20 years.  Both of them suddenly dropping out of my life and when questioned about it acting like it was "nothing personal".  Yeah, I don't believe that.  You don't walk away from a close friendship for 20 years like that and say it's nothing personal.  This friend dropped out at the end of 2021.   I suspected that maybe she had some kind of misperception over something between us but when I tried to reach out to her she only texted me back and it was obvious that she mistakenly thought I judged her for seeing an old boyfriend that was in an open relationship with another woman.  I never judged her for that.  It was not my lifestyle but I supported her in anything in her life, even when she wasn't proud of them.  And when I texted her about it I told her that too but it somehow didn't help.  Somehow she thought I was judging her.  I went over everything I ever said to her and can't figure out how she got that impression.   But I honestly think that was only part of it, and she denied that it had anything to do with it.  So what DID it have to do with?  I feel like I will never know.   Meanwhile she always wishes me a happy birthday on Facebook and always says she'll "call me soon" but never does.  How messed up is THAT?  I guess she didn't need me anymore after moving to a retirement community and making new friends.  I was truly devastated when she dropped me and in disbelief.  How could anyone do that to one of their best friends?  It's just mind boggling....

In the second case I felt in retrospect that I was being used while this person didn't have much going on but as soon as they did, they ghosted me rather abruptly for seemingly no reason saying it was not personal when I finally asked.  But I don't buy that for a minute.  Everything is personal when it comes to friends and if it's not they don't just dump you like that with no real explanation.  And I know they don't have other life issues going on because I know from other sources that they are still in contact with other friends.  So it has to be personal.

I've gone over both situations many, many times and can't for the life of me figure out what I did so wrong to either of them.  I tried to be a good friend, to listen, to care, to make time for them.  I told them how much I appreciated them.  They seemed to be interested in me and I did talk about my own life too but I didn't hog the stage with that or anything.  I was more than open to listening to them and I often did.   My psychology background makes me look within to see how I may have contributed to these things happening to me.  I realize it's been a pattern for a long time.  I've had other friends years ago do the same thing to me.  Suddenly for no apparent reason dropping out and not wanting to be honest about why.  This goes beyond just falling out of touch with someone too.  It's like one day they're your good friend and the next they're ghosting you completely and then denying it's "personal".  I just don't get that, though.  I guess I am different.  I am a loyal friend.  I am not someone to decide to move on from someone unless it's really BAD.  I had one friend that went a little nuts and became so toxic that I had to move away from them, but that was a sad exception and not what I wanted to happen.

At least with one male platonic friend about 20 years ago he was honest when he terminated our friendship that it was because his fiancé was the jealous type and he thought she might think I was a threat.  OK, whatever, she had no reason to worry about that but I didn't want to cause problems for him.  It still hurt but at least he gave me a somewhat plausible reason, unlike the other times.

Anyway as I get older I have fewer friends so losing one becomes a bigger issue.  I have like zero family left now and so it's even more of an issue to lose a friend.

Add to that that I had to cancel my reservation to the "Hell's Kitchen" restaurant that just opened about an hour from here because I had Covid and several times after because I was still testing positive, plus several times I've tried to reschedule it I had to cancel because of my husband's constantly changing schedule.  Meanwhile he works basically for one family but does some side work for an old client from his limo. work days.  That client has utilized him several times in the past month with absolutely NO conflicts with my husband's schedule.  He's just been very lucky because if my husband was booked with his main boss or family he would have to decline him.  Well my husband has very rarely EVER had to decline this other client and/or back out at the last minute despite having a busy schedule with this main employer.  Meanwhile for over a week now I can't even make a reservation at Hell's Kitchen without having to cancel it, and not because of Covid or the side work but because of my husband's main boss and family.  I made several reservations thinking one of them had to stick but no - I've had to cancel every single one of them, to the tune of 6 or 7 times already (and that's not including the reservations I had to cancel because of Covid)! 

It got so bad that I finally canceled the reservation I had booked for Thursday on Wednesday afternoon only after I was 99% sure he had work.  Then the client's mother in law called him last minute and told him she had to change her Thursday plans with him to Friday!  Meanwhile I had kept the Friday reservation because it looked like we were all clear for that FINALLY.  He had basically driven or had plans to drive everyone ELSE he could possibly drive on other days right around this so how could anything mess this up?  Oh yeah, well my luck is that bad that it got messed up!  And it's pretty much been that exasperating every single time!  So anyway I give up now.  I can't even make ONE date with him meanwhile the old client gets in whenever he wants with no conflicts at all!  My husband would have declined work with the old client if he had asked for it on Friday but it had to go and be his main client's mother in law changing plans at the last minute, who he wouldn't decline.  The universe obviously doesn't want me to go to this restaurant!

I begged my husband to ask for the day off but he wouldn't do it, despite the fact that his boss has told him that he would understand if he had to take a day off for something special - He is the nicest person in the world and doesn't expect my husband to cancel everything in his life for him.  He can put in for a day off here and there.  His boss's mother in law who changed her plans at the last minute is retired and just going shopping.  This is not an urgent trip for her.  Plus the family has a travel agent that would find her another ride in a hot minute.  It's not about the money, they are filthy rich so they don't even care about that.  I've only wanted this ONE thing in like EVER so it's not like I ask my husband to ask for days off EVER.  He does have days off when no one books him but lately that has only happened when I couldn't make it or was sick.  My luck is pretty spectacularly BAD with stuff like this.  And not just with this situation either!  It's one of the reasons I rarely make plans like this!

Anyway there's even more if you can believe that but I have gone on enough!  Sorry about that  but I just had to vent!

Edited September 21, 2023 by Yeah No

[AZChristian]

My heart is sad for you.  The last 3.5 years have been hard for all of us because we've had no control over the pandemic.  All we've had left are personal relationships, and when they fall apart . . . it hurts even more.

Regarding your first friend, you wrote:

". . . it was obvious that she mistakenly thought I judged her for seeing an old boyfriend that was in an open relationship with another woman.  I never judged her for that.  It was not my lifestyle but I supported her in anything in her life, even when she wasn't proud of them."

First thought that popped into my mind was that SHE feels guilty about seeing someone who was in a relationship with another woman.  And - like Kody Brown - she perhaps blamed YOU for her guilty feelings because she didn't want to acknowledge that perhaps SHE should feel guilty.  The easiest way to assuage her feelings is to put the blame on someone else.  

That's my Lucy Brown 5-cents opinion.  I sincerely hope things turn around for you.  

[Yeah No]

53 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

My heart is sad for you.  The last 3.5 years have been hard for all of us because we've had no control over the pandemic.  All we've had left are personal relationships, and when they fall apart . . . it hurts even more.

Regarding your first friend, you wrote:

". . . it was obvious that she mistakenly thought I judged her for seeing an old boyfriend that was in an open relationship with another woman.  I never judged her for that.  It was not my lifestyle but I supported her in anything in her life, even when she wasn't proud of them."

First thought that popped into my mind was that SHE feels guilty about seeing someone who was in a relationship with another woman.  And - like Kody Brown - she perhaps blamed YOU for her guilty feelings because she didn't want to acknowledge that perhaps SHE should feel guilty.  The easiest way to assuage her feelings is to put the blame on someone else.  

That's my Lucy Brown 5-cents opinion.  I sincerely hope things turn around for you.  

Thank you so much for this, AZ!  I think your Lucy Brown 5 cents in this situation is worth much more than that.  That's exactly the feeling I got from her.  In fact, she was the one conflicted over whether to enter into such a relationship and came to me asking for my advice on what to do.  Knowing that she was really in love with him and was a senior, a widow and had recently lost another love in her life to illness, there was no way I was going to discourage her from this.  All I told her is that if she couldn't live with his life situation  I would understand and be there for her.  I also told her she had to follow her heart.  She then lied to me and told me she had broken up with him.  All I said then was if that was what she really wanted I would support her in that.  I was not going to push her either way, it was not my decision.  I only found out she lied to me about it a year and a half later, after she had almost disappeared completely with no explanation.  I knew something was going on for a while because she would often rush me off the phone to take another call, supposedly from another girlfriend.  But I knew she had no urgent reasons to talk to this other girlfriend on a regular basis and I even suspected at the time that she might be seeing this guy and not able to be honest with me about it, but I didn't say anything because that's not my way.   And then gradually she would not return my calls and then disappeared altogether.  I was going through hell after my father died and with the pandemic and didn't know what to do about this situation so I just let it go.

And BTW, the only reason she confessed it to me is that he had died 6 months prior to a call she actually returned from me telling her about my Dad's friend's death (who she knew) in late 2021.  It was then I found out her man friend died.  It was then that I told her I would never have judged her about that and I would have been happy for her if she told me.   Of course she acted like I said something different to her, but she heard what she wanted to hear, not what I said.  What gets me is that she had confided in me about arguably worse stuff from her past before that I never judged her for, and I even told her that in this conversation.  But she was determined to think otherwise.   I am not a judgmental person about stuff like that and it shocked me that she would accuse me of that.  That was the last time I spoke with her on the phone.   She kept saying she would call me but I didn't have much hope of that.  And she still says she'll call me when I wish her a happy birthday in text messages or on Facebook.  It's ridiculous already!

Edited September 21, 2023 by Yeah No

[Yeah No]

By the way I just learned that this news has gone national - If anyone has seen the report and graphic video about a carjacking of an Aston Martin out of someone's garage in Westport, CT, that's my husband's boss.  He is fine and they found the car and the thieves but this has also been a source of anxiety for me as I'm sure you can all understand.  I'm taking anti-anxiety meds. FYI.

[General Days]

Oh my gosh, @Yeah No. You poor woman. It's all too much. (And for what it is worth, I've found Covid and the recuperation has left me with less ability to cope than I normally have. I'm blaming the fatigue, but I'm in tears multiple times daily.)

By the way, I think @AZChristian was spot on about your friend, too. And your reply to her just confirmed it, in my mind. Specifically this: 

Quote

All I told her is that if she couldn't live with his life situation  I would understand and be there for her.  I also told her she had to follow her heart.  She then lied to me and told me she had broken up with him.

Her lie is the proof that the friend feels guilty. She's ashamed, and she is letting her shame drive a wedge between you.

I don't know what to tell you about your husband's job. (I'm glad his boss is okay, but man, let them steal the car, it's just a car.)

Maybe when you're less upset, and he's less concerned about what his boss has just gone through, you can ask your husband if he can find a way to schedule regular nights off. It doesn't even always have to be the same night. But maybe he could talk to his boss, and say, "I'd like to schedule one night off per week. I can work around your schedule in every given week, but once we've set it, I would like to reserve one of the off nights, even if your plans change."

On-demand jobs are really hard, but there has to be some way to do it, even if it is on a week-by-week basis. Your husband may not care about his right to have that, but I hope you can find a way to convey to him that you do care about not even being able to make reservations for a restaurant (or otherwise count on a night with him). 

[Yeah No]

10 hours ago, General Days said:

Oh my gosh, @Yeah No. You poor woman. It's all too much. (And for what it is worth, I've found Covid and the recuperation has left me with less ability to cope than I normally have. I'm blaming the fatigue, but I'm in tears multiple times daily.)

Bless you, I am in tears right now just feeling like someone understands what I'm going through!  Same here on everything.  I've been googling on "Post-Covid depression" and it seems to be a thing.  I'll have to look into that more.  I feel like I'm always on edge and everything that normally would be a routine annoyance feels like way more of a big deal than usual.  I keep saying I'm going to call my doctor's office again to speak with the Covid nurse or doctor about this and more but I've been trying to get out to enjoy the nice weather this week and get in a little walking.  I just had to get out of the house after almost 2 weeks!  I feel like the fatigue is slowly lifting but it's happening very slowly at this point.

10 hours ago, General Days said:

By the way, I think @AZChristian was spot on about your friend, too. And your reply to her just confirmed it, in my mind. Specifically this: 

Her lie is the proof that the friend feels guilty. She's ashamed, and she is letting her shame drive a wedge between you.

That's so true!  I also suspect there is more she hasn't leveled with me about that she feels ashamed of, I've also suspected that.  She had 2 minor car accidents within a year and the last one was about 2 years ago now when she was in the process of disappearing.  I've had a strong feeling that she might have been responsible for the last one because of the way she acted about it in my last conversations with her.  And I think she was too ashamed to admit that after already being ashamed to admit other things to me.  Meanwhile I would never have judged her for any of that.  That would explain even more why she backed away from me.

10 hours ago, General Days said:

I don't know what to tell you about your husband's job. (I'm glad his boss is okay, but man, let them steal the car, it's just a car.)

I know, I was horrified when I saw the video thinking he could have been hurt far worse.  Later on he admitted that in that kind of situation you don't really know how you're going to react, it just feels instinctual.  I do think he showed more restraint than some people might have and that helped him get through it without much injury.  Some people online were saying he should have had a gun or should have backed the car out, but I think that would only have put him in more danger.  He was jumped from behind by two younger, bigger guys and they told him they had a gun.   In the end he did just let them steal the car.

10 hours ago, General Days said:

Maybe when you're less upset, and he's less concerned about what his boss has just gone through, you can ask your husband if he can find a way to schedule regular nights off. It doesn't even always have to be the same night. But maybe he could talk to his boss, and say, "I'd like to schedule one night off per week. I can work around your schedule in every given week, but once we've set it, I would like to reserve one of the off nights, even if your plans change."

On-demand jobs are really hard, but there has to be some way to do it, even if it is on a week-by-week basis. Your husband may not care about his right to have that, but I hope you can find a way to convey to him that you do care about not even being able to make reservations for a restaurant (or otherwise count on a night with him). 

Thanks for that advice, it's very helpful.  His boss is the nicest man in the world and I don't say that lightly about anyone.  He has already told my husband that for last minute jobs if he has any special plans he should tell them about it and they would just book a limo. through their travel service.  It's not about the money for this man.  He's THAT rich and THAT nice (hard to believe but true!).  My husband has never been on the receiving end of such niceness on the job so he tends to react as if he doesn't deserve it and goes overboard to never say no and always be there when they need him.  I understand that to a degree but he has NEVER taken them up on that other than to book a couple of days of vacation time for our trip to NYC in August.  Once in a blue moon is not going to be an issue.  And what if he HAD gotten Covid?  He would have HAD to stay home.  He was lucky that he didn't.  He wore a mask and kept the window cracked for several days after I tested positive, though.   And we both went through a lot of home tests too.   Thank goodness I just heard that we can order 4 more free tests from the gov't. in a few days because Medicare doesn't cover them anymore.

The thing is, since the pandemic started we have been far less active.  For almost 3 years we hardly ever ate out and only ate outside in the warm weather if that.  For me going to this restaurant is a BIG DEAL, and it is for my husband too.  We are big fans of the "Hell's Kitchen" TV show going way back to its first season.   So it's even more of a disappointment.  I've gone back to making more reservations but haven't told him about it.  If it works out, it works out.  I just can't believe my rotten luck with that, though.  

And I can't believe that I still have issues with taste!  In the morning and later evening I have that sort-of "half taste" thing going on.  For lunch and dinner, I can taste, which is good.  It's bizarre and I hope it resolves itself soon.  I have often had viruses where I lose taste but not for this long.  It's scary.  I am actually still very worried about this even though I've read that it's rare for this to be permanent. 

Thank you sooooo much, @General Days, I can't thank you enough, seriously!  Many (((hugs))) and I hope your lingering symptoms resolve themselves soon too. 

[TurtlePower]

What the heck is wrong with this stupid site? 4 times already today I’m reading someone’s post and trying to reply or respond and the page just automatically refreshes itself.

I already despise this site because of the disruptive ads. Ohmigosh they make me insanely enraged. And now the page just refreshes itself for no reason.

Gosh I’m starting to hate this site and the ads and the page jumping around when trying to read a post. 

[Orcinus orca]

6 minutes ago, TurtlePower said:

What the heck is wrong with this stupid site?

Are you on your phone or PC? I am on my laptop with ad blockers and don't have any issues.  I refuse to view it on my phone, it's a nightmare.

[Yeah No]

48 minutes ago, Orcinus orca said:

Are you on your phone or PC? I am on my laptop with ad blockers and don't have any issues.  I refuse to view it on my phone, it's a nightmare.

Same here although there are ad-free browsers like Duck Duck Go that have an ad blocker built in and have versions for Mac, PC, iPhone and Adroid.

There are also browser extensions that can be put on the Chrome browser like Ad Block Plus.  That's what I use.

[SongbirdHollow]

Duck Duck Go is great for this site!

[DanaMB]

5 hours ago, SongbirdHollow said:

Duck Duck Go is great for this site!

Yes! Ever since I started using it I haven’t had any issues. 

[TurtlePower]

On 9/24/2023 at 10:24 AM, Orcinus orca said:

Are you on your phone or PC? I am on my laptop with ad blockers and don't have any issues.  I refuse to view it on my phone, it's a nightmare.

Phone. I only really use the laptop for school. I didn’t realise how much I use this thing. 

[suomi]

 

Quote

Delete your digital history from dozens of companies with this app

Americans finally have some privacy rights. Permission Slip makes telling companies to delete or not sell your data simple. Really.

Did I mention Permission Slip is free? And it’s made by an organization you can trust: the nonprofit Consumer Reports. I had a few hiccups testing it, but I’m telling everyone I know to use it. This is the privacy app all those snooping companies don’t want you to know about.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2023/10/03/delete-personal-data-privacy-free-app/

[Scarlett45]

So bringing this over from the Christine/Meri threads regarding Meri’s brother’s funeral being several weeks after his death and in my community 2 weekends between death and funeral events is VERY standard even if the person was elderly or sick and the death was expected. (Even longer is not unheard of)

 

Ive been searching YouTube to find that clip from A Madea Family Funeral where Madea hears from another character “the funeral will be in three days”, and Madea says “ain’t no black person’s funeral in three days! You need at least a week, maybe two.” For the record I’m not a fan of the Madea films for a variety of reasons (I do respect Tyler Perry as an artist though) but by golly gee Gompers that had me ROLLING on the floor because it’s SO TRUE. It’s one of those meta things that is so funny because it’s so true, and when it’s your own community you can’t help but laugh. 
 

Unrelated that was my biggest criticism of The Best Man Holiday I don’t care that Mia had terminal cancer, and was wealthy, no way were they having her funeral THREE DAYS LATER. No sir!

[AZChristian]

I grew up in a blue-collar environment in Baltimore.  Funerals were three days after the death.  Period.

Hubby and I have it in our wills that we want to be cremated.  Whoever dies first goes on the shelf at home until the other one dies, and then we have a joint memorial service a couple of weeks after the second one goes.  No sense rushing.

[Orcinus orca]

In my neck of the woods (Michigan) we do three days max as well. Lately it has been two with a family viewing around noon on day one, public visiitation until 9 and service and burial the next morning followed by lunch. Holding a body for weeks is probably expensive!

[xwordfanatik]

6 hours ago, AZChristian said:

I grew up in a blue-collar environment in Baltimore.  Funerals were three days after the death.  Period.

Hubby and I have it in our wills that we want to be cremated.  Whoever dies first goes on the shelf at home until the other one dies, and then we have a joint memorial service a couple of weeks after the second one goes.  No sense rushing.

We prepaid The Neptune Society to be turned into kitty litter (that came from Mr. X.)  We're doing much the same when it's our time.

[Rabbit Hutch]

That's it for my family; it's either 3 days and then burial or cremation.  I've wanted to be cremated since I was 12, as I  can't stand the thought of being buried.  Then there are the expenses.  But, to each their own. 

If I could I'd want my body to be set aflame atop a pyre, like in some cultures, but I can understand the ick factor of attempting to do that down heah in tha South!  Wouldn't go over well, not at all.  🥴

[Teafortwo]

This is the ad I'm now seeing on this forum:

https://www.lonestarwesterndecor.com/wrangler-cowboy-boot-table-lamp.html?sku=VVCL2393&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=%28ROI%29%20Performance%20Max%20-%20Private%20Label&utm_id=&utm_content=&utm_term=&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI_6_2xpH5gQMV7RxoCB2P1AFhEAEYASAAEgLtUPD_BwE

[Absolom]

They can keep it.

[Gramto6]

Oh gawd! I shouldn't have clicked on the link, now I am getting that cowboy ad too!!! argh!

[Rabbit Hutch]

5 minutes ago, Gramto6 said:

Oh gawd! I shouldn't have clicked on the link, now I am getting that cowboy ad too!!! argh!

Consider yourself lucky, you could also be getting ads for  resin-made coasters made in the shape of cowpies to go with the lamp! Collect the set, Gramto6!  😛

[Yeah No]

Please forgive me but I don't understand not getting an ad blocker.  It's become one of my pet peeves. My lawyer and friend (who calls himself a "Luddite") is positively phobic about letting me put one on his computer but bitches all the time about the ads and frankly between him and the umpteen other people I know who do the same thing all the time, I'm tired of it.  I asked him why he doesn't let his computer "guru" do it for him but he's so phobic about making any changes to his computer that he refuses to let him do it either.  Another female friend is always bitching about crazy intrusive ads but refuses to get an ad blocker.   At least my husband finally let me put one on his desktop.   Thank goodness, he was driving me crazy too!

I just don't get what the big deal is.  It's one of those easy peasy things that takes 2 minutes to download and forget and never have to worry about ads again.  I told my lawyer friend that I thought he was making a mountain out of a molehill.  He said that the reason he's so phobic about it is that every time he lets any computer people make changes to his computer he lives to regret it.  I understand that as I've had computer people do stupid troubleshooting that ends up messing things up worse than they were before.  But an ad blocker is not going to do that.  In fact it prevents the ads from doing a whole lot of bad things, like installing adware and tracking, eating up memory and slowing down your computer.  Refusing to get one is like avoiding a vaccine because you're worried about the side effects when getting the actual illness without the vaccine would be much, much worse.  If I did that he and all my other ad-blocker phobic friends would be on my case 24/7 to get the vaccine.

The worst thing that can happen with an ad blocker is that every once in a while it might block things on a page that you actually want to see.  But if that happens there's a very easy fix - Just turn the ad blocker off for that particular page.  There's usually an easy on/off button for that.

Anyway, apologies to the similarly phobic, I love you all, I just had to get that off my chest.

[General Days]

I finally got AdBlock about 7 or 8 years ago (as a Chrome extension). I was afraid of it, and I felt it was unfair to use too, but ended up doing some work that involved spending time on a ridiculously ad-heavy website. My husband and kids got so tired of me complaining about it that they talked me into it. I've never looked back. It has made my online life much simpler.

In earlier versions, it used to tell you how many ads it was blocking on a given page. Often, on sites like Daily Mail and some of the entertainment websites, it would block hundreds of ads per page. When I realized how intrusive ads had gotten, I stopped feeling bad about it.

[altopower]

25 minutes ago, General Days said:

In earlier versions, it used to tell you how many ads it was blocking on a given page.

My version still does. AdBlock is the only Chrome extension I have and I'm grateful every day I use it. I subscribe to sites I really care about and that I think provide value that I enjoy, but I love not having ads pop up and intrude all over.

[DanaMB]

I use DuckDuckGo. Love it. 

[Absolom]

If you don't want youtube ads, use the duck player. :)  

[Gramto6]

11 hours ago, altopower said:

My version still does. AdBlock is the only Chrome extension I have and I'm grateful every day I use it. I subscribe to sites I really care about and that I think provide value that I enjoy, but I love not having ads pop up and intrude all over.

Wow! I finally broke down and got the Chrome extenson AdBlock. What a difference! I should have listen to all you posters long ago about how good the site is w/out all the annoying ads.

I'm curious now if I will get a bit more battery life. Since I upgraded to Sonoma on my MacBook Air, I seem to be running my battery down much faster than before doing the exact same things...

Edited October 17, 2023 by Gramto6
added on to post

[Yeah No]

15 hours ago, Absolom said:

If you don't want youtube ads, use the duck player. :)  

AdBlock Plus also blocks YouTube ads, which I find amazing because I don't even get those annoying ads interrupting in the middle of videos.