Season 3 Discussion

[RCharter]

What does it take to be a resident, though? If you are living there and are married to a resident, doesn't that count? Or do you need to be a citizen?

I've actually been looking into this issue, and non-resident is twice as expensive, but still cheap compared to any other form of higher education in the U.S.

I'm not entirely sure you could as a resident of a state if you're not a citizen of the country, or have official status within the country.  But I'm not 100% sure.

[cooksdelight]

We cannot know what Nikki can or cannot do to remove herself from this current situation. Speculation.... take it to their thread. Things you've read online? Take it to the spoilers thread. It's time to stop analyzing a situation we know nothing about, in this episode thread. Thanks.

[salvame]

 

Also? he has 4 children and only one shows up on the show on occasion. Wonder why they won't don't want to be on the show. It could be something as simple as they don't want to be on or I would think they have a relationship with their mother now and maybe out of respect for her they don't want to drag the family through the mud.

 

I, too, wondered about this.  If he and his children were dumped, seems to me they would be there to support him.  While I think Mark is really messed up and needs professional help, I also believe Nikki is there under her own volition, and if she chooses to ignore the writing on the wall, it's still her decision.  Besides, this is the stuff TLC LOVES to screen - look how sucked in by it we all are!  ;)

[LillysPad]

I suspect it's even more than his age and unwillingness to update things. I think he is still living in that time when he had his first wife. Everything about the house is the same. Now he's just trying to fill the spot of the wife. 

I was expecting that as well. 

Good point! I was trying to forget the ex wife line for a second. lol

[Eme]

Yes, all of them can go home if they don't like the situation they find themselves in, but unless there is more information about the conditions they left, giving the person the benefit of the doubt should be the rule. Dewar could go back. He has a family to support, but I'm guessing he thought he could get a better job in the US and send more money back to his family. The price is to put up with Mel's family. Alexi could go back, his family is hurting without him, but he's here to likely try to help them out in some way. I can't see him abandoning them for Loren. Nikki can go back, but to what? If she was some sort of Bar Girl she likely left to get a different life. Without more information, we can't suppose he promised her anything back home, but as a young woman, she likely thought she would be treated with SOME respect. She finds out that she's not, and likely is in denial that it can continue this way. She's sleeping with Mark and probably thought that- and his twist-tie ring - would give her some leverage. Just seeing a person, especially a young person (even if she is gold digger at heart), be treated so poorly by someone who lectures and makes plenty excuses for his bad behavior is sad.

[millennium]

Yes, all of them can go home if they don't like the situation they find themselves in, but unless there is more information about the conditions they left, giving the person the benefit of the doubt should be the rule. Dewar could go back. He has a family to support, but I'm guessing he thought he could get a better job in the US and send more money back to his family. The price is to put up with Mel's family. Alexi could go back, his family is hurting without him, but he's here to likely try to help them out in some way. I can't see him abandoning them for Loren. Nikki can go back, but to what? If she was some sort of Bar Girl she likely left to get a different life. Without more information, we can't suppose he promised her anything back home, but as a young woman, she likely thought she would be treated with SOME respect. She finds out that she's not, and likely is in denial that it can continue this way. She's sleeping with Mark and probably thought that- and his twist-tie ring - would give her some leverage. Just seeing a person, especially a young person (even if she is gold digger at heart), be treated so poorly by someone who lectures and makes plenty excuses for his bad behavior is sad.

 

How do you know she's sleeping with Mark?

[RCharter]

How do you know she's sleeping with Mark?

They "watched the sunrise" together, which seems to be a euphemism for sexy times.  At the very least it seems likely that they spent the night in the same bed, unless he got up at pre-dawn hours and hopped into bed with her to watch the sunrise...

[still hoping]

I am not "getting" it .....

 

I thought this was a show about love...are we supposed to sponsor everyone in a "bad situation" in a poor country just so they can better themselves?

 

I think Mo and Nikki should be deported, I am on fence about Dewar

 

I felt most of the couples on all seasons were in it for love...sometimes mixed with a bit of "want to settle down"...and "want family" and yeah a little "want better life" but not much

 

I don't worry about what gold diggers want...I am pizzed if my country allows this

[RCharter]

I am not "getting" it .....

 

I thought this was a show about love...are we supposed to sponsor everyone in a "bad situation" in a poor country just so they can better themselves?

 

I think Mo and Nikki should be deported, I am on fence about Dewar

 

I felt most of the couples on all seasons were in it for love...sometimes mixed with a bit of "want to settle down"...and "want family" and yeah a little "want better life" but not much

 

I don't worry about what gold diggers want...I am pizzed if my country allows this

I can't imagine thinking that this was a show about love after last year.  Many of these couples seem to have a very fuzzy idea about love, at best.  For Loren it seems to be very self-centered and about how she can get what she wants.  For Melanie, it was having a running partner she doesn't seem to have much in common with.  

 

I don't remember suggesting that we should sponsor everyone, however, I do genuinely feel for people that are using this to escape poverty.  But then again, I don't automatically see "I want to escape poverty" as "golddigger."  But I also wouldn't see someone who thought they were going to be financially cared for by a man who said he wanted a "traditional" woman and relationship as a golddigger.

 

This country has a lot of golddiggers, I'm not upset about that at all.  It would be a hard life if I was upset by the existence of golddiggers.

 

And I will always think a pervy, old man taking advantage of a power imbalance in order to control a young girl is going to be gross and unfortunate.  But, after two years of having to put up with yucky Mark, she can drive away in her Miata and find herself a better life...and good for her!

Edited December 2, 2015 by RCharter

[GracieK]

How do you know she's sleeping with Mark?

 

Nikki referenced that they are intimate in the first episode. 

[Chickabiddy]

I have to cosign what RCharter said about the nature of these relationships and the shallow nature of some of their motives. People get married for sketchy reasons all the time. That is our right, and our government has determined that under certain conditions we can marry foreign nationals no matter how shallow our reasoning. I don't see how marrying someone for security is so different than marrying someone because they are good looking for make you feel good about yourself.

 

With that said, I would be more critical of Niikki if Mark were approaching this union as anything other an a business transaction along the lines of  "I have all the power and money and you must do what I say." If he truly loved Nikki like I think Josh loves Aleksandra, I would be the first to loathe Nikki. But, that is not what their relationship is. Mark and Nikki are each in it for something. It's just sad that Mark has to be such an exploitive asshole about it. As I posted previously, no one likes to do business with assholes.

Edited December 2, 2015 by Chickabiddy

[Eme]

She said it was wonderful. As an aside, I don't think she is a gold digger, but even if she were, no one deserves to be treated like Mark is treating her. And if we are to assume that all of these couples already decided to get married and the 90 days is to get accustomed to the new way of life and to get the wedding together, then having Mark act like he does towards Nikki is even worse. That means that she had some sort of expectation about how life was going to be here and he is playing the Go Home Unless You Do Everything My Way card - which is ick.

[GracieK]

Have a prenup.. fine, no big deal.  He obviously is fearful of being burned again and probably should be.  But you don't, as her intended partner, bring a teenager over here, promise to support and care for her, and not give any consideration to the fact that she has no means of support if he walks out on her or changes his mind.  Basically you are getting to have your pervy relationship with a teenager, and in exchange she is gaining comfort and security but is also sacrificing advancing herself for YOUR benefit... there is a reason that some women do get alimony and often it's because she took care of the home allowing the male partner to focus on bringing home the bread, but in that process she never develops a means for her own support.  Nikki shouldn't be rewarded with half of his belongings when this marriage fails.. but if he loves her so much, he should be willing to have a clause that gives her a bit of money for a rental security deposit or SOMETHING so she doesn't end up on the streets.  Who says that if it fails it will be because she walked out "just like his ex"? 

Edited December 2, 2015 by GracieK

[spankydoll]

 

I can't help but compare Nikki and Noon.   Poor Noon was brought home to a roach-infested apartment.   Her reaction: "I must clean."   Nikki was brought home to a house on the water and given a brand new convertible -- and she laid in bed and pouted.   Noon's attitude was great throughout the whole trial period, now she's married and she seems genuinely happy.   Meanwhile, Nikki is still petulant and brooding, playing the victim because she can't buy a $2300 wedding dress.

 Noon gets Kyle. Kyle is young and kinda cute. His house is a mess but he moves to a new home so that she will feel more comfortable. He appears to have a kind and easygoing personality. Kyle is trying to make Noon feel at home with the Thai decor in the apartment and customizing the ceremony to her culture. New Orleans while it is a little crazy at night is a beautiful, vibrant, multicultural city with great food, music, etc. Kyle has friends! He has nice friends who seem to care for him and are supportive of their marriage. He made a formal proposal that was very thoughtful and supported by his friends. 

 

Nikki gets Mark. He is OLD. Age is just a number and his number is dusty. He is very set in his ways. His home has a gorgeous view but his focus on saving money and not being in debt has left the place dated and unexciting - and full of pictures of his ex-wife to a Miss Haversham level. He has done VERY little to make Nikki feel welcomed in the home and the community. He hasn't been shown introducing her to any friends - and there are NO laughs in that house. His proposal to her was a casual question with a wire tie. Mark has no focus on making the wedding or marriage special for Nikki - she could be any young gal who is willing to awake at the whistle, sign the prenup and service him.I think that he fancies himself as a character but the man is joyless. His daughter Elise is very kind and cool so maybe there are some lovely facets of Mark's personality that we haven't seen yet even after all of these episodes. He even makes a trip to NYC boring - he probably took the poor kid to Sbarro's after vetoing the dress. 

 

 

[RCharter]

 Noon gets Kyle. Kyle is young and kinda cute. His house is a mess but he moves to a new home so that she will feel more comfortable. He appears to have a kind and easygoing personality. Kyle is trying to make Noon feel at home with the Thai decor in the apartment and customizing the ceremony to her culture. New Orleans while it is a little crazy at night is a beautiful, vibrant, multicultural city with great food, music, etc. Kyle has friends! He has nice friends who seem to care for him and are supportive of their marriage. He made a formal proposal that was very thoughtful and supported by his friends. 

 

Nikki gets Mark. He is OLD. Age is just a number and his number is dusty. He is very set in his ways. His home has a gorgeous view but his focus on saving money and not being in debt has left the place dated and unexciting - and full of pictures of his ex-wife to a Miss Haversham level. He has done VERY little to make Nikki feel welcomed in the home and the community. He hasn't been shown introducing her to any friends - and there are NO laughs in that house. His proposal to her was a casual question with a wire tie. Mark has no focus on making the wedding or marriage special for Nikki - she could be any young gal who is willing to awake at the whistle, sign the prenup and service him.I think that he fancies himself as a character but the man is joyless. His daughter Elise is very kind and cool so maybe there are some lovely facets of Mark's personality that we haven't seen yet even after all of these episodes. He even makes a trip to NYC boring - he probably took the poor kid to Sbarro's after vetoing the dress. 

 

I agree with your entire post, but even if I didnt.....this line alone would get my thumbs up and I'm totally stealing it.

[Eme]

Thinking of Nikki peeling away from Mark in that red Miata. Thanks RCharter for putting that image in my head.

 

Being the Eagle Eyed Forum Poster that I am, I noticed that when Nikki was with Steven Silverman (the Lawyer), he had a clean desk at the beginning, and later on, had books open and pages on the desk. It made me think that he went over some provisions with her and talked about the prenup in more detail than was shown.  I liked him and I LOVED his attitude and advice.  While it may not hold up, the fact that she went against his advice, specifically on teevee for Everyone to witness, may cut against her?  Also, while there may be some things that, normally, one may not waive, who knows WHAT was in that document to make Counsel Silverman's hair stand on end like it did?  My hope for Nikki is that she play it out - hang in there - get her documents - then, Peel Away from Mark in that red Miata!

[merylinkid]

Hmmm, I looked up Silverman on the active attorney listing, there are 4 Steven/Stephens.   1 inactive who was licensed in 1981, 3 active, licensed in 1973, 1991 and 2007.   Now I want to know which one it was.

[BradandJanet]

A Google search comes up with Steve Silverman, Baltimore/DC litigation attorney, who primarily represents pro sports stars. I don't feel like logging into Facebook to see the law firm's page (Silverman, Thompson, Slutkin) where his 90-Day Fiance appearance is mentioned, but his image is clearly that of the man on the show.

 

Silverman is not someone Mark or Nikki could afford to hire. TLC setup here. 

Edited December 2, 2015 by BradandJanet

[merylinkid]

TLC also hired someone whose main background is criminal defense and complex civil litigation.   Not family law.   Just as I would not defend someone in a criminal case because I don't know the nuances despite taking criminal law in law school, someone with little experience in family law should not be advising someone with such long term consequences as a pre-nup.   Although he did tell her not to sign.   Hopefully, off camera he offered to negotiate on her behalf.   Or it was all a set up and his job was just to tell her not to sign so we could get the sigh and "I have no choice" before she signed.

[millennium]

And I will always think a pervy, old man taking advantage of a power imbalance in order to control a young girl is going to be gross and unfortunate.  But, after two years of having to put up with yucky Mark, she can drive away in her Miata and find herself a better life...and good for her!

 

How about an opportunistic young woman trying to take advantage of a lonely old man to get an express pass into America and an instant middle-class life?

[GracieK]

How about an opportunistic young woman trying to take advantage of a lonely old man to get an express pass into America and an instant middle-class life?

 

He has more life experience, including THIS EXACT SITUATION, to know better.  You stop feeling sorry for people when they continue to make the same mistakes even into their twilight years.  More sympathy is understandably afforded to the teenager with no life experiences under her belt yet.

[PamPote65]

All I can say about this episode (at the moment, anyway) is that Noon is a gracious, naturally elegant lady, totally unlike the other she-beasts on this show. (I'll give Aleksandra a pass--she seems like a sweet girl, but her personality is completely unformed at this point.  We'll see which way she goes.  She does have a little bit of the passive-aggressive devil in her, which is probably good for Josh.)

 

Best wishes to Noon and welcome to America!

Noon is a nice mommy figure for Kyle-- I can see why she is likable, especially to female viewers who may be put off by hotter or opinionated women.  Aleksandra seems kind as well, but this could be some kind of trained passivity.  Her parents gave off the same passive vibes.  

Edited December 2, 2015 by PamPote65

[BradandJanet]

I'm sure pre-nups are common among Silverman's clients, so someone in the firm can handle them. Mark's was probably written by someone living and practicing in the back room of a nail salon. However, Mark's pre-nup is simple in concept: Nikki gets nothing of mine--not now, not later, not ever--nothing, nada, zilch. That includes the Miata. 

[millennium]

He has more life experience, including THIS EXACT SITUATION, to know better.  You stop feeling sorry for people when they continue to make the same mistakes even into their twilight years.  More sympathy is understandably afforded to the teenager with no life experiences under her belt yet.

 

I completely disagree.   Mark's a jerk, yes.  But I think Nikki's a grifter -- not a very good one, but a grifter all the same.   She'll learn from this and probably not make the same mistakes with her next victim.   I have zero sympathy for her.

Edited December 2, 2015 by millennium

[nenya]

Noon is a nice mommy figure for Kyle-- I can see why she is likable, especially to female viewers who may be put off by hotter or opinionated women.  Aleksandra seems kind as well, but this could be some kind of trained passivity.  Her parents gave off the same passive vibes.  

 

I disagree with this. I don't like Noon because I feel safe liking her. I like her because she seems like sweet person who genuinely loves her husband. She had to adjust a lot to her new life, from cockroaches to probably having to question her beliefs about family and loyalty, and yet the editing showed her to be understanding, supportive, and pleasant. I watch them, and I feel like I am watching an excited, happy, in love engaged then married couple, not a couple "trying it out" or a guy looking for a stereotypical "subservient" wife or something else. 

 

If I don't like some of the maybe more attractive or opinionated women, it is because their personalities diminish those values. There is a difference between being opinionated and being borderline racist (Melanie and Devar) or throwing a very unattractive fit  and not listening to the dreams of your spouse (Lauren). 

[GracieK]

I completely disagree.   Mark's a jerk, yes.  But I think Nikki's a grifter -- not a very good one, but a grifter all the same.   She'll learn from this and probably not make the same mistakes with her next victim.   I have zero sympathy for her.

 

She very well may be a grifter, and I find her irritating, but mostly in that whiny teenage way.  Mark's been down this path before... your previous point was about him being taken advantage of... sorry, no.  He's 58 and doesn't appear to be senile.. he will get no sympathy from me.

Edited December 2, 2015 by GracieK

[millennium]

Hey, I dislike them both.   But it strikes me as unfair that all the empathy bends Nikki's way when there's a good chance she's running her own con, too.

[still hoping]

ITA....I dislike both Nikki and Mark - both users

 

It is very unfair to compare Nikki and Noon....Noon went to college...she and Kyle dated over a year....in love

cute pics of them last year when they took motorcycle trip around Vietnam

 

and....NO one stopped Nikki from holding out for a younger compatable guy where love could grow

No one is forcing her to stay either

[KarmaG]

Was I the only one who thought that Mark and Nikki would go to Kleinfeld? I was positive they'd go there!

 

Yes, it's weird that they didn't since TLC loves to crossover their reality shows. Even the Duggars went to Kleinfeld.

[RCharter]

Hey, I dislike them both.   But it strikes me as unfair that all the empathy bends Nikki's way when there's a good chance she's running her own con, too.

A con?  A young woman desperate to escape a situation of poverty and clinging to the life raft that an old man offered hardly seems like a "con" to me.  It seems like an extremely sad and desperate situation.  He was likely a very nice guy on vacation, and if he wasn't than I feel even worse for her, because her situation was that bad, that some old asshole seemed like the better option.  She is 19, and at her age its entirely possible that she realizes that without benefit of education, or the ability to get an education in her country that she only has a limited time to escape certain poverty.  It starts out as an unequal playing field.  Which is why Mark specifically went to the exact same city he found his first wife, to find another desperate woman.  As GracieK said, he had benefit of experience, and his experience told him that he could take advantage of a huge power imbalance and a nativity to get a young, desperate, pretty girl.  He controls everything, she has power over almost nothing, because he can "send her back."  And I sure hope that she is marking her calendar, and the day the two year mark hits she makes a run for it.  Of course she won't have much of anything, but I think there is a chance a judge would find the pre-nup unconscionable and refuse to enforce it.

[grumpypanda]

It took me three tries to finish this episode but I finally made it to the end. Most of what I'm thinking has already been said but because it can't be said enough, Noon is adorable and her and Kyle seem to be genuinely in love. I have high hopes for these two. She looked gorgeous on her wedding day and Kyle has definitely grown on me.

I do believe that Aleksandra and Josh love each other but I don't see Alek being happy in the long term. If Alek feels old now just wait two years from now when she has two kids in diapers (shout out to Mark) and the most exciting part of her week is a pizza party with fruit punch and G rated movies. I still don't get what she sees in him. He seems like a sweet kid but dull as dish water. I predict a very disappointing wedding night for Alek even with her sexy pink moo moo.

Anyway, the bright side of the Nikki and Mark situation is when Mark passes away Nikki will still be young enough to start her life over any maybe have children with her second husband. I wouldn't be surprised if Mark passes away from a mysterious illness (anti-freeze poisoning) in a few years and Nikki ends up on an episode of Snapped. Put me on that jury, NOT GUILTY!

[KarmaG]

Loren's sister was killing me with the faces she was making throughout this episode.  Most notable was her reaction to Loren's meltdown where she disparages her parents' marriage:

 

​

 

Just proves to me that Loren's drama queen antics was par for the course in this household. I agree with all others wondering whether Loren's adopted. 

 

Looking at that pic I can totally see where Loren gets her looks (from mom) and is definitely not adopted.

 

On a side note just getting to watch the episode and to the part with Kyle and his mom and sadly she reminds me of one of my MILs (I have 2, my husband's mom and his stepmom, it's his mom that is like Kyle's mom). My husband isn't close with his mom either for many of the same reasons.

[KarmaG]

Any Russian speakers here? I could have sworn that when Vladimir was dissing the video-games-and-pizza bachelor party, he used the word "telefutbol." And if that's the word for video games in Russian, that's awesome.

 

I think they were playing a sports game (probably soccer) and that's why he said telefutbol.

[PamPote65]

I disagree with this. I don't like Noon because I feel safe liking her. I like her because she seems like sweet person who genuinely loves her husband. She had to adjust a lot to her new life, from cockroaches to probably having to question her beliefs about family and loyalty, and yet the editing showed her to be understanding, supportive, and pleasant. I watch them, and I feel like I am watching an excited, happy, in love engaged then married couple, not a couple "trying it out" or a guy looking for a stereotypical "subservient" wife or something else. 

 

If I don't like some of the maybe more attractive or opinionated women, it is because their personalities diminish those values. There is a difference between being opinionated and being borderline racist (Melanie and Devar) or throwing a very unattractive fit  and not listening to the dreams of your spouse (Lauren). 

Maybe you don't like Noon because you feel safe liking her, but I'm sure this is why Kyle loves her...but he just doesn't know it, at least not on a conscious level.  That poor guy probably received very little normal nurturing growing up and now by marrying Noon he's going to get all the sweet, supportive nurturing he needs.  Noon doesn't fit the profile of a typical mail order bride because she isn't being chosen for her "hotness" which may seem like a good thing, but it's not really better to be chosen because you are a good mommy/stability figure either.  Kyle is wounded and he has an emotional need for someone like Noon, but something tells me he is going to have two lives eventually, one at home with his "great" woman and another wild life.  There's a reason why he is a bartender on Bourbon street and it's not because there aren't other jobs out there.  

[Chickabiddy]

He may just be a bartender on Bourbon Street because it is easy money. I have friends who work in the FQ in the service industry because they can make between 50,000-70,000 a year in tips at the right places. That's a lot of money for a job that requires little investment. My friend did this while preparing for med school. Another friend is a writer and works the night shift at a swanky place. I wouuldn't read too much into his motives for bartending. It could just be a temporary thing or not Lots of family types also work in the service industry in NOLA.

[still hoping]

Kyle and Noon are in love...she is not a mail order bride. I think they had a real connection...not just a mommy figure

 

I loved when he said how he wants to give her everything

 

I think he has been the only one to honor his love by getting married in her tradition

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As for how bad Nikki's life was..tough..maybe you can arrange K-1 visas for other bar girls?

If you look at her social media she did list herself as a student at  Ceba tech school

 

I think she may have left Mark except they do not get paid from TLC unless they marry

 

~~~~~ I had high hopes for Loren and Alexie but.....yow....she is so self centered

He is her 6'4" Ken doll..she wants to dress him up as her groom so she can star in a "delicious" wedding

 

NONE of the men objectified their fiancee in such  way 

[RCharter]

Kyle and Noon are in love...she is not a mail order bride. I think they had a real connection...not just a mommy figure

 

I loved when he said how he wants to give her everything

 

I think he has been the only one to honor his love by getting married in her tradition

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As for how bad Nikki's life was..tough..maybe you can arrange K-1 visas for other bar girls?

If you look at her social media she did list herself as a student at  Ceba tech school

 

I think she may have left Mark except they do not get paid from TLC unless they marry

 

~~~~~ I had high hopes for Loren and Alexie but.....yow....she is so self centered

He is her 6'4" Ken doll..she wants to dress him up as her groom so she can star in a "delicious" wedding

 

NONE of the men objectified their fiancee in such  way 

 

I don't get upset with people for doing what they can to escape a life of poverty and sexual objectification.  I think its unfortunate there are situations that exist that make young girls live in such desperation that someone like Mark can come in and take advantage.  Its really sad to me.  Choosing between a weird old pervy man and living in terrible conditions is a sophie's choice.

 

My parents came from another country, and "technical" school for them, was essentially high school.  So there is every reason to believe that she is marrying Mark due to the desperation of her situation, not because she was holding out for the big TLC payday.  

Edited December 2, 2015 by RCharter

[Chickabiddy]

I just hae to throw this out there again.

 

Why all the condemnation for Nikki and not Devar? It seems pretty clear that while he may be in lust with Melanie and want to be good influence in Hunter's life, his main prioity is sending cash back to his family. In his own words - he planned to send 90% of his income back home. Now, I undestand wanting to help your family, but 90%!! Then there is all this condemnation of Melanie for not understanding immigrant culture.  Didn't Devar say he was already in the process of trying to get a green card through his mother, but that the process was taking forever? And then suddenly he falls in love with Melanie? Why is Nikki a con artist and a grafter while Devar essentially gets a free pass about his motives?

 

Both Nikki and Devar have their own personal motives for coming to the US.

[Pepper Mostly]

He may just be a bartender on Bourbon Street because it is easy money. I have friends who work in the FQ in the service industry because they can make between 50,000-70,000 a year in tips at the right places. That's a lot of money for a job that requires little investment. My friend did this while preparing for med school. Another friend is a writer and works the night shift at a swanky place. I wouuldn't read too much into his motives for bartending. It could just be a temporary thing or not Lots of family types also work in the service industry in NOLA.

I worked as a bartender all through my 20's. Its a great job for a young person, fun and good money! When I worked in hotels I worked with people who'd been in service jobs all their professional careers--waiters, bellmen, doormen. (there's a corner in Boston named for a well known and loved doorman at the Parker House Hotel). I don't think it says anything about Kyle's character that he works as a bartender.

[still hoping]

Age difference is gross and Nikki knows it

 she is not a gold digger? Just not a good one IMHO

 

While Devar may have jumped for a green card he seems to have chosen pretty well

Mel does have a pretty good job and nice house

Devar seems to like her if not madly in love

It will be interesting to see how they are doing on a follow up show

[RCharter]

Age difference is gross and Nikki knows it

 she is not a gold digger? Just not a good one IMHO

 

While Devar may have jumped for a green card he seems to have chosen pretty well

Mel does have a pretty good job and nice house

Devar seems to like her if not madly in love

It will be interesting to see how they are doing on a follow up show

Exactly what gold is she digging?  She hasn't demanded much of anything from him, no fancy meals, $10 dress, no heated demands for a real ring.  And a pre-nup that leaves her in the street.  That doesn't say golddigger, that says desperate girl trying to get out of living in poverty and willing to put up with creepy old man to do it.

 

Yes, the age difference is disgusting, which is why a 19 year old girl would be less likely to do it without being desperate.  Especially for a man with so little to recommend him other than the ability to help her get out of a desperate situation.

 

So, to you, Nikki is not like Devar because Devar made the better choice, in terms of choosing someone with a better resources (and more stable job and a nice house.) Wouldn't that make Devar the golddigger and not Nikki?

Edited December 2, 2015 by RCharter

[still hoping]

I love to see the true couples....maybe some are here for the green card....which is sad

but if it does not work out...tough...go home

They took a gamble

 

or should we all support people in poverty areas with a K-1?

[PamPote65]

Nikki is getting more flak because she fits the stereotype of the skinny, hot Asian with long hair.  Maybe there is a perception that she could do better than a weird old man so if she's with someone like that it can only be for the money.  While her type of looks would help her in the dating market in the US, they probably wouldn't in her country where her look is probably associated with poverty (the skinniness) and is commonplace.  In those countries they also love light skin which Nikki does not have.  Mark may see Nikki as beautiful yet she may believe she is very average and can't do much better than Mark.  Surprisingly, thin, dark skinned women in certain countries will never be considered pretty.

 

I think there is also a tendency to "like" women who are more motherly and rounder like Noon-- This isn't generally what men like better, but what women like more in other women as they are probably less threatening in general.

Edited December 2, 2015 by PamPote65

[Drogo]

Even though the age difference is off-putting to many (myself included, especially since when I'm Mark's age my little Khaleesi will be 34) and for most of us who have had pleasant relationships their connection isn't understandable --- the possibility remains that Nikki might actually love and want to be with Mark, long-term. 

 

He's a weirdo- but I'm pretty confident he wouldn't raise his hands to her, he cooks and cleans for her, takes her on weekend trips and bought her a car... Personally, I think he's a craphead, but we don't know what kind of men Nikki's used to being with; Mark might be a dreamboat by comparison.  All things are relative.

[GracieK]

I love to see the true couples....maybe some are here for the green card....which is sad

but if it does not work out...tough...go home

They took a gamble

 

or should we all support people in poverty areas with a K-1?

 

I'm kind of confused as to why you keep making this point.   Mark is the one bringing a poor teenager into the country and making her his child bride, and the rest of us are skeeved by it.  No one is advocating what he is doing.  Some have empathy regarding Nikki's motives because we assume things must have been really bad in her country in order to subject herself to Mark, but that doesn't mean there is support in here for using a K-1 to rescue children from poverty.

[cooksdelight]

We're getting into dead horse territory, which has nothing to do with the episode.

[DangerousMinds]

I am not "getting" it .....

 

I thought this was a show about love...are we supposed to sponsor everyone in a "bad situation" in a poor country just so they can better themselves?

 

I think Mo and Nikki should be deported, I am on fence about Dewar

 

I felt most of the couples on all seasons were in it for love...sometimes mixed with a bit of "want to settle down"...and "want family" and yeah a little "want better life" but not much

 

I don't worry about what gold diggers want...I am pizzed if my country allows this

Agree! There are so many people hoping to move to the US who have been going through the proper channels and have been waiting for years. They didn't play this game. 

[Danag]

I feel badly for Nikki and Aleks. Those two girls are too young to be married. They haven't experienced life. I won't be surprised if we see divorces within 2 years.

 

Aleks  thought that she was too young to get married. Somehow I think she'll wake up from the Mormon clutches....it's just a matter of time.

 

I think that Nikki is in a desperate situation. She already invested several months with this creep. IMO, Mark is an emotional abuser. He cares about HIS needs to be met, on his terms, and on his schedule. He is trying to have Nikki pay for what happened with his EX. My suspicion is that he treated his Ex the same way and she had no recourse, but to leave him, because we know the house was HIS. She was probably a stay at home mom with no income. Abusers go hot and cold, and that would explain giving her a the red car one day, and controlling her the next...Can't change the stripes on a Zebra (Mark).

 

He is breaking Nikki's spirit. I hope she can hang in there, until she can leave and have a decent life. God knows she's paying for it. You never know, an opportunity can come of being on TLC TV.

As for signing the prenup....it looked to me as though it was signed under duress. He threatened to send her back. It's blackmail. She's completely dependent on him, she cannot work, drive, or anything until this K-1 Visa time passes. The douche knows this and he's taking advantage of timing.

I got news for him. It's only a matter of time that Nikki will find the strength, rebel and leave him. Just like his EX... 

[AussieBabe]

I'm not siding with either side. At any rate, the young lady was 16 when they first met. IMO, that makes him no better than a paedo who grooms their victims. There's a definite imbalance of power. Whether it's a business arrangement, true love, or just tolerance, respect is absent. The whole bridal store scene almost seemed like an attempt to embarrass her and remind her that he has the power and the money. The same with the prenup. We have pre and post nuptial agreements, and they are fair to both sides. I can't imagine my husband saying, "All the property is mine. These are my cars. If I die or if we divorce, you'll be penniless and homeless." My neighbour was engaged to a younger woman, and he had a heart attack and passed. From what I've heard, he didn't put her on the house or life insurance. His daughter kicked the woman out, moved in temporarily, and now she's not keeping up the home because she and her family live elsewhere.

What's the harm in giving her a small settlement if they stay married for x years and divorce? That's what sunset clauses are for. If he doesn't want to do that, add in a clause about funding a one-way ticket back to Cebu City. To leave her with nothing makes me question his care and concern for her. Even if she's just a friend, where's the concern for her wellbeing if it all crashes down? I have two friends who are divorcing right now. Their prenup has a clause that states the soon-to-be ex-wife can live in the marital home for up to one year after the divorce has been finalised. After that year is up, the home is to be sold and the profit will be split equally. In the meantime, the other party has moved into a flat without protest.

I understand Mark wanting to protect himself, but you can be fair and compromise. He hasn't done anything to make her feel like she's anything more than a visitor/guest in HIS home.

Edited December 2, 2015 by AussieBabe

[merylinkid]

Just want to throw out there that in Maryland, the legal definition of abuse is not just physical.  Mark doesn't have to lay a finger on her to be abusing her.

 

We are still working on getting all the judges to accept financial abuse -- but it's getting there.   They at least accept the idea of the economically dependent spouse not having as much freedom to act as a financially independent spouse.