Small Talk: How Not To Get Caught Dead With Dirty Underwear

[saber5055]

19 hours ago, cooksdelight said:

This story infuriated me today. Be sure you read it thoroughly. A local attorney chimed in when I posted it on Facebook, the judge had no choice due to the law.

I saw that on a newscast yesterday Cooks; thanks for posting the link. It boggles me that this can happen while, as Annber posted, people who commit violent crimes might get a couple of years, then parole. I wonder what his life will be like going forward. Surely prison has molded him/changed him. In which way, I don't have a clue. I wish him well.

[cooksdelight]

As a court advocate for victims of domestic violence, I see a lot of what goes on in court. I see judges being compassionate, being hard and tough, and all the while following the guidelines that are set down by the lawmakers. Our DA and her staff always get bitched about for not answering inquiries, or not being in the office ... well, they travel around and cover 7 counties. Most only cover 3 or 4, but not here. A woman whose husband was murdered couldn’t understand why the DA didn’t contact her to tell her when the suspect would be in court. That’s not her job, I explained, and I showed her a link online where she can get notifications when he is scheduled to appear. Once a trial date is set, then the DA will want to meet with her to go over her testimony, since she was a witness. And a trial date could be three years away. 

[saber5055]

On 8/31/2019 at 3:07 PM, cooksdelight said:

And a trial date could be three years away.

I know this is common, but it boggles my mind. I wonder how many people remember things differently three years after the fact. It has to be misery to wait three years for the trial of the person who murdered your family member ... and then wait to see if that person gets convicted or not. At least Dateline condenses it down into one or two hours. (People can gain a lot of weight in three years!)

[JudyObscure]

Chanel surfing a few weeks ago I ended up on the ID (Investigative Discovery) chanel that isn't even listed on my Spectrum TV guide and watched a show called "Fear Thy Neighbor."  I liked it so much I went online to the chanel site and found about thirty episodes I'm working my way through. They're re-enactments, which I usually hate, but I'm hopelessly drawn to the idea of a neighbor complain about a barking dog or noisy teens escalating into full on murder.  I own a Dachshund!  This could happen to me!

Anyone else know this show?

[Jeanne222]

33 minutes ago, JudyObscure said:

Chanel surfing a few weeks ago I ended up on the ID (Investigative Discovery) chanel that isn't even listed on my Spectrum TV guide and watched a show called "Fear Thy Neighbor."  I liked it so much I went online to the chanel site and found about thirty episodes I'm working my way through. They're re-enactments, which I usually hate, but I'm hopelessly drawn to the idea of a neighbor complain about a barking dog or noisy teens escalating into full on murder.  I own a Dachshund!  This could happen to me!

Anyone else know this show?

Yes I watch it now and then.  The newer shows seem better than the older ones.  Also I really like Murder In A Small Town.  

[walnutqueen]

1 hour ago, JudyObscure said:

Chanel surfing a few weeks ago I ended up on the ID (Investigative Discovery) chanel that isn't even listed on my Spectrum TV guide and watched a show called "Fear Thy Neighbor."  I liked it so much I went online to the chanel site and found about thirty episodes I'm working my way through. They're re-enactments, which I usually hate, but I'm hopelessly drawn to the idea of a neighbor complain about a barking dog or noisy teens escalating into full on murder.  I own a Dachshund!  This could happen to me!

Anyone else know this show?

I've watched them all, of course.  Nevermind stranger danger - teach your kids not to piss off the grumpy old man next door!

[Annber03]

3 hours ago, JudyObscure said:

Chanel surfing a few weeks ago I ended up on the ID (Investigative Discovery) chanel that isn't even listed on my Spectrum TV guide and watched a show called "Fear Thy Neighbor."  I liked it so much I went online to the chanel site and found about thirty episodes I'm working my way through. They're re-enactments, which I usually hate, but I'm hopelessly drawn to the idea of a neighbor complain about a barking dog or noisy teens escalating into full on murder.  I own a Dachshund!  This could happen to me!

Anyone else know this show?

Oh, definitely! I've seen every episode of that show at some point, I think. It's absolutely bonkers. So much violence over the smallest, stupidest, most insignificant things. 

Last night's episode reminded me that I always love it during that show when, after everything escalates to murder, one of the people being interviewed says something like, "I never imagined it could've escalated to this kind of violence." 'Cause, y'know, all the physical confrontations and angry, threatening words and things of that sort that happened up to that point were just silly playground spats, I guess. 

[TheRoJo]

On ‎10‎/‎6‎/‎2019 at 7:42 AM, JudyObscure said:

Chanel surfing a few weeks ago I ended up on the ID (Investigative Discovery) chanel that isn't even listed on my Spectrum TV guide and watched a show called "Fear Thy Neighbor."  I liked it so much I went online to the chanel site and found about thirty episodes I'm working my way through. They're re-enactments, which I usually hate, but I'm hopelessly drawn to the idea of a neighbor complain about a barking dog or noisy teens escalating into full on murder.  I own a Dachshund!  This could happen to me!

Anyone else know this show?

I'm a Dachshund owner as well, and I will attest to the fact that they bark incessantly, and I'm sure my neighbors have all wanted to kill me at some point.

Also, Fear Thy Neighbor is one of my favorite ID channel shows.

[EtheltoTillie]

@Mondrianyone

Hey,, taking this to small talk.  I am class of "76 at Barnard.  How about you?  I grew up in Queens, but I've stayed on the Upper West Side ever since college.  I'm from the era when the school was 50 percent locals.  I was a commuter at first.  You must remember the days when they didn't have enough dorm rooms.  One semester I was relegated to the worst dorm, 400 West 118th Street, which is the one that was off Morningside Drive.  It was always a scary thing walking back there at night. 

Edited December 15, 2019 by GussieK

[EtheltoTillie]

3 minutes ago, GussieK said:

@Mondrianyone

Hey,, taking this to small talk.  I am class of "76 at Barnard.  How about you?  I grew up in Queens, but I've stayed on the Upper West Side ever since college.  I'm from the era when the school was 50 percent locals.  I was a commuter at first.  You must remember the days when they didn't have enough dorm rooms.  One semester I was relegated to the worst dorm, 400 West 118th Street, which is the one that was off Morningside Drive.  It was always a scary thing walking back there at night. 

And 50 percent of those went to Bronx Science.  LOL.  Also quite a few gals from Hunter.

[Mondrianyone]

On 12/15/2019 at 5:53 PM, GussieK said:

@Mondrianyone

Hey,, taking this to small talk.  I am class of "76 at Barnard.  How about you?  I grew up in Queens, but I've stayed on the Upper West Side ever since college.  I'm from the era when the school was 50 percent locals.  I was a commuter at first.  You must remember the days when they didn't have enough dorm rooms.  One semester I was relegated to the worst dorm, 400 West 118th Street, which is the one that was off Morningside Drive.  It was always a scary thing walking back there at night. 

I've sent you two DMs, but I guess you haven't seen them yet!

[12catcrazy]

Ok putting this here in case anybody is reading it:  Fotis Dulos apparently tried to kill himself yesterday by gassing himself in his car.  He found "cling to life" by police sent to do a wellness check as he hadn't shown up for his bail hearing.   

Frankly, I hope the bastard dies (still in critical as I write this, but as he's lasted this long, he'll probably survive).  I find his timing interesting: if he REALLY wanted to kill himself, why not do it the night before when nobody would be coming to look for him?    He had to know that by missing his court appearance,  somebody would be knocking at his door.   Maybe the cops didn't show up as soon as he thought, so he inhaled more carbon monoxide than he thought he would.    And I can't believe an innocent person would do this either. 

Thoughts? 

[cooksdelight]

I’ve always said that when someone tries to kill themselves, they are guilty as hell and cannot face life behind bars. 

[jabinlbc]

On ‎1‎/‎29‎/‎2020 at 8:44 AM, 12catcrazy said:

Ok putting this here in case anybody is reading it:  Fotis Dulos apparently tried to kill himself yesterday by gassing himself in his car.  He found "cling to life" by police sent to do a wellness check as he hadn't shown up for his bail hearing.   

Frankly, I hope the bastard dies (still in critical as I write this, but as he's lasted this long, he'll probably survive).  I find his timing interesting: if he REALLY wanted to kill himself, why not do it the night before when nobody would be coming to look for him?    He had to know that by missing his court appearance,  somebody would be knocking at his door.   Maybe the cops didn't show up as soon as he thought, so he inhaled more carbon monoxide than he thought he would.    And I can't believe an innocent person would do this either. 

Thoughts? 

Just saw that he died.  

[12catcrazy]

No tears shed here.  He was supposed to be a control freak so this is another way to say "fuck you" to his wife's family.  Again, an innocent person wouldn't have done this and I dont think this was guilt as a person who felt guilty wouldve at least expressed remorse and said what he did to Jennifer.  This was pure selfish control.  And I read an article about his lawyer's wife (the lawyer charged with conspiracy in Jennifer's murder), and she and her husband are going through a very nasty divorce.  Dulos kept trying to get her to come to his house for some kind of meeting and she got a bad feeling.  She never went and felt that he was trying to lure her into a trap.  Maybe he and the lawyer made a deal: you get rid of mine and I'll get rid of yours.

[A.Ham]

A coward all the way through. What a disgrace. He gets into debt (with his wife’s family, no less) then kills his wife. And now he will never be held responsible for it.

His scummy lawyer was just on the news bloviating about how he is requesting the prosecution to move forward with the case, in order to “clear” Fotis’ name. Jigga  wha? Spare us all, please. We know he is guilty as sin. 

[12catcrazy]

"Clear Fotis' name.."  You mean keep collecting billable dollars from the estate, basically leaving the scumbag's kids with nothing.  

It will be interesting if either his ex-girlfriend will do more talking (if she knows more), or the lawyer, now that the guy is dead.  

And can you believe that he was reported to have a new girlfriend?  So here you are some woman - you're now involved with a guy who is a) accused of murdering his wife, and b) dragging his then-girlfriend into it.   And you are thinking what?   I guess there is no fixing stupid or delusional women who are desperate to be hooked up with somebody.  

[A.Ham]

40 minutes ago, 12catcrazy said:

"Clear Fotis' name.."  You mean keep collecting billable dollars from the estate, basically leaving the scumbag's kids with nothing. 

Right, not to mention, continued waste of taxpayer dollars/resources. Outrageous sense of entitlement from this lawyer. Frosts my bum, as a coworker of mine used to say. 

[nora1992]

Does it count if I’ve just finished reading a book that reminds me of an extended Dateline episode? Two Truths & a Lie.  Very compelling.

[A.Ham]

So I read this story earlier today and found it fascinating. Not much foul play found, contrary to what the title suggests. And if you are a squeamish person I would suggest to skip it, but here it is if you are interested:

How science solved the mystery of feet washing ashore in the Pacific Northwest

Edited March 18, 2021 by A.Ham

[nora1992]

So I’ve been watching Only Murders In the Building.  Besides Selena Gomez’s opening monologue, is anyone else picking up random Dateline references, like Cinda CANNING?  I’m eager to see how it ends.

[Cozytea]

Hey all, I hate to be  this person but I searched and searched and can't find a forum for "The Fatal Attraction Murder"  It aired on oxygen Saturday night . The murderer is named Carolyn Warmus. I just wanted to see what people thought of the show. I figured I  would ask you all if any of you could direct me in the right direction lol.  Thank you.

[Melina22]

I've never heard of this show. Unfortunately at this point, it seems like there are infinite shows, movies, podcasts, forums on a gazillion different services and platforms. It's overwhelming. 

[Cozytea]

39 minutes ago, Melina22 said:

I've never heard of this show. Unfortunately at this point, it seems like there are infinite shows, movies, podcasts, forums on a gazillion different services and platforms. It's overwhelming. 

It's  about a male teacher's wife being murdered in 1989 trial in  1992(?). The husband was a suspect then it was revealed he was having an affair with a fellow teacher. She then become the focus of the police. She was portrayed as a stalker obsessed with him. She was convicted and is out now and is trying to prove her innocence.  I think there is another part on tonight.  I had never heard of this story. Which surprises me. The whole story seemed to occupy a lot space in tabloid early 90s all taking place in NYC.

Edited March 27, 2022 by Cozytea

[Melina22]

Recently someone suggested a YouTuber to me who does True Crime videos, and going through his videos I was gobsmacked by the fact there were hundreds of them. I guess I think of True Crime cases as anomalies, but this showed they're just so common. 

At this point, a case needs a real hook to capture people's attention. Sad, really. 

[CrazyInAlabama]

3 hours ago, Cozytea said:

Hey all, I hate to be  this person but I searched and searched and can't find a forum for "The Fatal Attraction Murder"  It aired on oxygen Saturday night . The murderer is named Carolyn Warmus. I just wanted to see what people thought of the show. I figured I  would ask you all if any of you could direct me in the right direction lol.  Thank you.

Here's the Wikipedia article about the case.   

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carolyn_Warmus

Both books are listed at the bottom about the case, I read the 1993 book, not the later one.     Warmus certainly was obsessed with the man who dumped her, and followed him and the new girlfriend to Puerto Rico when they were vacationing.    Warmus was released on parole, in 2019, and was living in New York. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carolyn_Warmus

Edited March 27, 2022 by CrazyInAlabama

[Cozytea]

14 minutes ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

Here's the Wikipedia article about the case.    Both books are listed at the bottom about the case, I read the 1993 book, not the later one.     Warmus certainly was obsessed with the man who dumped her, and followed him and the new girlfriend to Puerto Rico when they were vacationing.    Warmus was released on parole, in 2019, and was living in New York. 

Thank you. Yes, I believe she was obsessed.  They do mention the Puerto Rico trip on the show. They do also talk about the other men she had  similar troubled relationships with. I do think she killed the wife. I'm not sure what she gains by trying to prove her  innocence now, they seemed to have good evidence of where she bought a gun that matched the bullets. Unless I'm missing something . The husband didn't  have anything to gain by killing the wife. Carolyn (killer/mistress) socialized with the couple and was around them often. The wife had also a long term affair with a co worker.  Paul Solomon (husband) told Carolyn they had an open marriage idk if it's true but I might suspect something was going if my 40 something year old husband started bring a 20 something blonde around out of the blue lol. So maybe they did? 

[Lovecat]

My husband was watching a Dateline re-run on ID the other day.

Me:  Which Dateline is it?

Him:  The one where the real estate agent is killed while meeting a guy alone for a showing.

Me:  You need to be more specific.

Him:  NOT the one that happened during a hurricane.

Me:  Ah.  But I can still think of 2 or 3 others...

Which led us to rattle off other Dateline tropes:

• The wife who "drowns in the tub"
• The wife who "slips off the side of a cliff" while hiking with her husband
• The husband who is "accidentally shot" by his wife
• The wife who "commits suicide" [either while her husband isn't home, or right in front of his eyes]

What else you got, Dateline watchers?

[Toothbrush]

The wife who “just left” and didn’t take any personal property with her, but left a typewritten letter explaining why she was “leaving” 

[JudyObscure]

The husband who dies from drinking antifreeze in his Gatorade.

[scriggle]

The wife who dies in a convenient car accident.

[Ohmo]

I've never watched a complete episode of Friends, but I enjoyed Matthew Perry in other things (like Studio 60 and The West Wing). Since Keith is married to Matthew's mother, I'm sure he and the rest of the family are devastated.

[KittyMom4]

Quoting @UsernameFatigue 

Personally, my house is pretty neat and tidy. In fact I am such a fan of true crime that I have actually thought when leaving my house "If my house was on Dateline, would I be happy with how it looks?" Surely I'm not the only one? Lol. 

You're not the only one. I actually did a deep cleaning of my bedroom after I saw video of a crime scene in a bedroom and the room was a disaster. Stuff stacked on dressers and nightstands, clothes piled on a chair, and random dishes and water bottles around the room. Mine wasn't as bad as the one on TV but I thought to myself "would I want my room shown in court looking like this?" It is now neat as a pin, crime scene video ready!

[Chalby]

On 2/8/2023 at 9:34 PM, scriggle said:

The wife who dies in a convenient car accident.

And why is it when a wife "disappears" the guilty husband will automatically insinuate that she ran off with another guy. I'm so fed up with these idiots in that they think we don't immediately suspect them, especially if she's left her children behind? These men and any cop who initially bought into that are as dumb as bricks.

[Annber03]

8 hours ago, Chalby said:

And why is it when a wife "disappears" the guilty husband will automatically insinuate that she ran off with another guy. I'm so fed up with these idiots in that they think we don't immediately suspect them, especially if she's left her children behind? These men and any cop who initially bought into that are as dumb as bricks.

Especially given all the high profile stories about husbands being suspected/convicted in their wives' disappearances and murders. Like, guys, we've all lived through the Scott Peterson trial, and the Drew Peterson one (I remember there was a period there where it seemed a lot of these cases involved someone with the last name Peterson), and Chris Watts, and so on. True crime is a very popular genre and people are very familiar with the numerous cases involving men murdering their wives. So for a guy to think he's somehow going to be the exception to this when his own wife disappears/is murdered, at best, that's pretty naïve thinking. 

(Obviously there are also examples of people automatically assuming the husband did the crime when he actually didn't, and cops getting tunnel vision and focusing on the husband to the exclusion of other equally, if not more, viable suspects, which is very problematic in its own right. So yes, even if the husband is a suspect, it's still important to look at any other possible suspects out there, too. But the husband shouldn't be surprised that they will be looked at at some point during an investigation, either.)