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Spartan Girl

What An Idiot: Stupid Movie Character Moments

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Bringing back this old TWOP thread, in which we discuss the many, many, many idiotic things movie characters have done.

I'm kicking this topic off with the moment from the original 1981 Clash of the Titans, when the queen brags about Andromeda being more beautiful than the goddess Thetis. Already a stupid thing to do, but to make matters worse, she does it right in front of the STATUE of said goddess. Not to mention the fact that it was the kingdom's patron goddess. How stupid can you get?!

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Baby in Dirty Dancing not immediately telling her father who the father of Penny's baby was.  The second she realized that Johnny was misunderstood to be the father she should have corrected her dad.

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The mom in The Bad Seed for acting like a dithering, mealy-mouthed twit instead of doing something about her clearly homicidal daughter. Ugh, never have I rooted for a killer more!

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I'd estimate that 90% of teenage characters fall into this category. 

 

Anyway, I'm watching a film called Erased with Aaron Eckhart. I'm trying to get through it, but when you have two people being dumb within the first 20 minutes, it's a challenge.  A couple of examples:

 

His character and his teenage daughter are held at gunpoint and forced into their car.  The gunman and daughter are in the backseat, with the gunman ordering Eckhart where to drive.  In order to "disable" the gunman, Eckhart decides to speed up the car and then suddenly brake, sending the gunman flying into the windshield and the car into a tailspin.  Shockingly, this does not disable the gunman, and Echkart proceeds to try and wrestle the gun from the perp while trying to maintain control of the car. Of course, shots are fired.  The car spins out of control and dovetails.  The gunman is eventually killed. Unfortunately, the character and his daughter live, and the film does not end.   

 

Later, Echkart and his daughter are hiding out at a public train station, because Eckhart has found a key to a locker that will hopefully provide insight to why someone might be trying to "erase" him.  He tells the teenager to stay put while he goes to the locker. There are policemen roaming around, and appear to spot Echkart.  And of course, the daughter decides to leave and go find him.  They spot HER, and almost catch them.  Due to plot contrivance, they escape.  

 

Mind you, all this time, the daughter is getting unreasonably hostile and loud, demanding to know why someone is trying to kill them, because despite him telling her that he doesn't know and will find out, she needs answers right then. Sigh.  

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I'm not sure which character to pin this one, but whatever theme-park designing genius in Jurassic World  who decided that a ride, that involves exploring dinosaurs around the park in a driveable pod, didn't need some kind of autopilot or recall feature in case something in the park went wrong.  Why the hell would you let any moron just drive around in your million dollar park amongst dinosaurs with no way of forcibly bringing the pod back?

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I'm not sure which character to pin this one, but whatever theme-park designing genius in Jurassic World  who decided that a ride, that involves exploring dinosaurs around the park in a driveable pod, didn't need some kind of autopilot or recall feature in case something in the park went wrong.  Why the hell would you let any moron just drive around in your million dollar park amongst dinosaurs with no way of forcibly bringing the pod back?

Why would you want to put dinosaurs in a theme park at all?! Four movies later, and they STILL haven't learned their lesson!

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I still think it was tremendously stupid for Marcia Gay Harden's character in Mystic River to blab her suspicions about her husband being a killer to the FATHER OF THE MURDERED GIRL instead of going to the police. What did she THINK was going to happen?!

Even worse, it turned out he wasn't the killer. So she basically got her husband killed for nothing.

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Full Metal Jacket

 

You have a recruit in boot camp who went over the deep end and now is in the latrine cradling a gun with a crazed grin on his face. Do you:

 

A) Call the MP's

B) Inform your commanding officer

C) Verbally abuse him and hope he doesn't kill you or something

Edited by BatmanBeatles
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In Jurassic Park when Lexy turns on that damn flashlight during the big T-Rex scene.

I second that with The Mist every one in the grocery store using flashlights to look at gigantic bugs on the windows.

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The owners in Cujo deserve to be on this thread for not getting Cujo vaccinated for rabies. I don't care if they were poor. If you own a big dog and let it run loose where it could be infected by dozens of rabid animals, it's just asking for trouble.

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The scene in In the Bedroom when Tom Wikinson has his son's killer at gunpoint and the guy actually has the nerve to try to justify the murder with the excuse that the son was sleeping with his ex-wife. Hey, moron? When the angry, grieving father of the man you MURDERED has a gun to your head, making excuses and blaming the victim probably isn't the smartest move!

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I just watched the Netflix movie Extinction and have to mention the stupidity of the youngest daughter. Actually, all the main characters in that movie did stupid things, but the youngest daughter did something that has annoyed me about a lot of young kids in movies. While the invaders are trying to get into the main characters' apartment the parents tell their daughters to hide in a closet. But the youngest daughter left her stuffed animal in the living room so she goes back to get it and almost gets herself killed. Of course she is a kid and one of the main characters so she lived, but she was so annoying that I spent most of the movie wanting her to die.

Spoiler

Her stupidity was made even worse when we learn of the plot twist that the main characters are actually not human, but artificial intelligences. Artificial stupidity seems a better term for the characters in this movie. Especially at the end when the parents make it to the train station just as the train is leaving. The kids run out of the train towards the parents to hug them while the humans are getting into the station and once again the main characters almost get themselves killed. If they were actually intelligent the kids would have stayed in the train and waited until their parents were also in the train before the hugging. Then the train could have left sooner and they would not have been in danger of almost getting themselves killed.

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In this little-seen but campy thriller called P2, a woman who I will call Not Young Jodie Foster basically tries to escape a psycho Wes Bentley who kidnapped her in a 6-level underground parking garage. At the end, she gets him handcuffed to the door of a car that got wrecked while they were playing chicken. She used a stun gun to help subdue him for that, and she begins to walk away. Psycho Wes Bentley then calls her the c-word, and that seems to be the final straw for Not Young Jodie Foster. She takes the stun gun and sparks up the trail of leaked gasoline to the car that Psycho Wes Bentley was handcuffed to, and he's burned to death. I mean, the guy was fucked either way at the end, but what an idiot.

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Harry, Ron, and Hermione wearing the Horcrux locket in Deathly Hallows Part 2. Seriously, they knew the necklace was evil -- it has VOLDEMORT'S SOUL INSIDE -- and the best way to keep it close was to WEAR IT?! Not stick it inside Hermione's magic bag that could hold everything no matter what size?! 

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I watched Kingsman the Golden Circle last night. In it the main villain forces her goons to have their finger prints removed and teeth filed down to make them anonymous. But then she forces them to get a very unique molten gold tattoo, something that made them a lot more easy to recognize than dental records.

 

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So I re-watched the 1996 adaptation of 101 Dalmatians because I hadn't seen it in ages, and, wow, Anita is the ninny to end all ninnies.

From their first scene together, her boss, who happens to be Cruella de Vil, who is obviously a few colors short of a rainbow in the sanity department, shows a very, very, very unusual and disturbing interest in Anita's dog Perdita having puppies. Cruella insinuates herself into Anita's private life more than once (even barging into her house uninvited), loudly announcing her obsession with Perdita's puppies, and Anita doesn't seem to find this rather odd, disturbing, or even an incentive to quit her job outright and find someone less intrusive and nutty to work for! That's right, nothing in Cruella's behavior gives off red flags in Anita's dull little brain, until after Cruella's henchmen finally steal the puppies!

I mean, Lord knows I can be a bit slow on the uptake, but if my boss were showing an unhealthy interest in my private life and certainly my dog's, I might, bare minimum, be a tad concerned and consider being on my guard just in case something terrible happens!

Yeesh, and we thought the humans in the Lassie franchise were morons!

 

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@Wiendish Fitch I rewatched it yesterday too, and yeah, I have to agree there were plenty of red flag signs Anita overlooked. Love Joely Richardson and all, but yikes!

Though I’m gonna have to say that the cartoon Anita wasn’t that bright about Cruella either. The cartoon Cruella was basically Patty and Selma to her Marge, showing up randomly just to shit on her husband — and like that ninny Marge, Anita does little to actually stick up for him. Plus, if your own dog (poor Perdita) is terrified of Cruella, that’s a pretty big warning sign that you shouldn’t have this woman as a friend, let alone your house?

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I think my biggest eye-roll moment in the entire MCU so far was the scene between Black Widow and Hawkeye in Endgame, when they argue about who gets to sacrifice themself. Not that I don't appreciate a well written self-sacrifice, but this was moronic. How about sacrificing your ego for the greater good and just pick one of you? When it got to the point that they both tried to jump, I just kept thinking what a great subversion it would be if they both ended up falling down, thus rendering the whole thing meaningless since one of them had to survive. It would serve them right. I would like if maybe a future Deadpool movie made a spoof of that scene. 

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This is a combination of UO and Stupid Moments:  Risky Business.  I couldn't see it in a theater because I was a few years under the R rating age limit, but couldn't wait for it to come to video because it seemed like everyone loved it.  It was all the talk.  Dumb, dumb, dumb!  I hated it.  Joel is swindled out of everything (? it's been a while--I do remember an expensive crystal egg) and he still goes back to the prostitute who conned him.  I was reminded of it because my 23 year old son watched it the other day saying that he'd heard a lot about it and wanted to see what it was like.  He hated it for the same reason. 

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I dunno, did a rich white kid from Highland Park really need to get into the prostitution game? Yeah, Guido used him as a front to get access to all the other rich, suburban white kids, but hey Joel got into Princeton on mediocre grades, so he wasn't exactly empty-handed.

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Boy, the adoptive dad in Brightburn was incredibly stupid. He tries to shoot his alien son in the back of the head, the bullet bounces off like rubber, and his first instinct was to reload when it’s obvious that bullets won’t work is to reload?

Not to mention that he was dumb enough to think an apology for trying to kill him will work after all that. The mother tries that too after trying to stab him with the piece of the alien ship. Guess how that works out?

Edited by Spartan Girl
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