A Case Of The Mondays: Vent Your Work Spleen Here

[GHScorpiosRule]

I don't know if I should post this here or in Pet Peeves, because it could go either way.

I have a LinkedIn account. It works for me as it helps me to stay in contact with current and past co-workers, and it's a great tool for networking, and looking to see who is hiring. But if there's one thing I hate about it, it's...how do I say this? When updating my profile, it seems to think my current job is a NEW and PERMANENT JOB. Which is NOT the case. Wish there was a way to update it, and still let potential employers know I am looking, without having to make both public.

And then there are those who know I am working as a temp/on a contract and looking for full-time, who message me with or post "CONGRATULATIONS ON THE NEW JOB!"  No. Just no. They KNOW I'm looking and that where I am at is not a "new" job. And I'm responding to all the private messages with "Thanks, BUT..."

It's aggravating. And now I sound ungrateful and petty. But I'm not. Most who are congratulating me KNOW that I've been complaining about how lax and lazy my recruiter is being in not pinning down the General Counsel to make me permanent/full-time. And neither has the GC gone to my recruiter and said "Let's make [me]permanent." So, I'm not depending on this job lasting forever, though they all act and treat me like I'm a permanent employee, but I'm not. So, I am looking out for Number One; the staffing agencies aren't what they used to be, so after nearly a decade, I'm job hunting on my own and hoping for the best. Had my previous recruiter just been able to wait out one more month, or had this gig come to me a month earlier, she would have converted me to full-time within 90 days. She's no longer placing Paralegals, and she has a non-compete, so I can't even pick her brain. She had my back. 

That said, I'm grateful I still have this job. You know that two of the women here helped when I had the medical emergency a month ago, and the GC, who is my direct supervisor, told me to take as much time to recover and not push myself. They're good people, but I wish she'd make a decision, either way.

BUT. I'm spreading my eggs in multiple baskets.  Because the recruiter who took over is just lazy and cheap enough to rake in his monthly cut/fee, while I struggle. Who knows if he'll get off his ass (he won't as he has NO CLUE how to do this job) and try and get me permanent, if I tell him I have an offer from somewhere else.

Sigh. But, really, this rant was about LinkedIn, and I needed to just...vent.

[theredhead77]

@GHScorpiosRule - there is an option to not publish updates.

Also: Staffing agencies suck.

[Guest]

I have spent thirty six of the last thirty eight hours working.  The other two hours were sleeping.

I should go to bed now.  I'm in that so tired my brain isn't working properly place.  But now that I've closed down the stuff I was doing, the last thing I want is to wake up, seemingly instantaneously, and have to go back to work again.

[emma675]

I now have another interview on Friday, a somewhat shorter commute and more money.

I'm thrilled for all of these opportunities but as a natural introvert I'm dreading talking about myself so much over the next few days. I just want to do the work and focus on things other than myself, lol!

[GHScorpiosRule]

15 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

@GHScorpiosRule - there is an option to not publish updates.

Also: Staffing agencies suck.

Oh, I know. I had that option cut off until this week, because I couldn't figure out how to let potential employers know I was looking and available and STILL not publish updates.

The staffing agency that kept me employed for the past decade had good people until a year ago. It just seems now, it's all about the commission, and they don't give any fucks about the candidates. I had a great one when I was in New York. And two good ones here, but both left the field--of placing Paralegals, so now after getting the bum's rush, I've realized I've got to do this on my own.

[Jaded]

@theredhead77 it comes across from descriptions in your posts that your boss might feel threatened by you and the fact that you know what your doing. Do you get the feeling that he might think getting you to hand over administrative things and go out into the field would give him more power and diminish some of yours?

[theredhead77]

30 minutes ago, Jaded said:

@theredhead77 it comes across from descriptions in your posts that your boss might feel threatened by you and the fact that you know what your doing. Do you get the feeling that he might think getting you to hand over administrative things and go out into the field would give him more power and diminish some of yours?

Not at all. I can see how it reads like that though. I'm in my role as one of those "get her the fuck in this role so it can succeed" promotions. I was told the day my internal application came through they stopped accepting applications.

My legit guess is my counterpart is struggling a lot, is in the field a lot, is having some pressure put on him and he's deflecting it to 'TRH isn't doing xyz and they are still behind us'. I won't share all my secrets that I used to grow my old position that is growing us now, he needs to figure shit out for himself.

My boss is an analyst, he has no knowledge or experience in the roll. Frankly my old boss and I can't figure out why my position would report to him, but whatever. I'm going to keep on doing my thing, and growing like we are. 

[Guest]

"Its a good problem to have"

This phrase annoys the shit out of me.  Its usually said in my company as buck up, I know we are working in the seventh level of hell but it could be worse, the company could be making less money.

When decisions made by the leadership have screwed stuff up enough to make me work two consecutive 18 hour days with two hours sleep in between, I could care less if the company is making more money.

[Petunia13]

@theredhead77 I really feel like you are a wealth of knowledge. I kinda get the gist of what you mean. I left my last job and am now at a tech startup so understand your point a bit that your sales people or support people need to understand a bit about the products and direct leadership. That's especially crucial if you were brought in on a team that's last place on the organization and you have to give them boot camp...so to speak. Sales and admin can be very discouraging roles so when leadership is mostly off site and/or shitty it is a recipe for disaster. 

[theredhead77]

@Petunia13 - thanks. I was brought on as the manager of the team but right now it's a team of me. The person I'm training reports to my boss. I'm hopeful she will eventually report to me.
This afternoon was my weekly one-on-one with my boss and he told me he was at a meeting with all the leadership and our president was singing my praises. They want the one 'smaller area' hold-out to start using our processes to bring customers online instead of their complicated PITA process. They also want to start using my training for the 'smaller area' people in my position to train their sales force.

All this is great to hear, but I'm also feeling irritated about the whole salary debacle from my 'interview period' (it's somewhere in this thread, I'm sure). If they're going to be using the processes and trainings I designed, I think they should also be paying me what was originally offered, instead of the lower amount the recruiter threw at me because 'that is what they feel the position is worth'. Granted, it's still more than I was making but dude, come on. So at my year date I'll be asking for a salary adjustment to correspond, if my area continues to grow and they implement the things I designed.

[BookWoman56]

@theredhead77, if you're not already doing so, be sure to document those conversations where your boss is stating that they are using your processes and training, along with positive comments from others.  That way, when it's time for the annual performance review, you have specific items you can point to as evidence of your contributions and success. For this year, I'm taking a different approach for tracking my accomplishments. We have performance criteria that we develop in conjunction with our manager; it ends up being about 5 major areas, with 5-7 individual items under each major area if you're going to meet expectations, and about 7-10 individual items if you exceed expectations. I have not always tracked my own performance accomplishments in detail, although I've always done so at a high level. But my manager is on her own tangent right now for various reasons and doesn't always pay attention to what I'm doing, and is therefore clueless as to the details of my work. So, I have taken all the performance criteria and entered them into an Excel spreadsheet, one row for each individual item. As I do something related to an item and get feedback/confirmation of having done so, I save the email or take a screenshot of something, such as a meeting invitation for a meeting I conducted to train someone, and embed that evidence into the spreadsheet on the row for the corresponding item. I'm hoping this approach will keep me organized as well as make it easy to spot items that I haven't yet accomplished, so I can focus on those before the end of the year. 

I am feeling quite peeved at a colleague right now. Some major updates had to be made to two different documents, each about 450 pages. She repeatedly told me and the content people that the updates had to be submitted to another group by February 15, and then in mid-March will go into a larger set of documentation for submission to the federal regulators. But she's been pushing nonstop for completing the updates for the first deadline, and so I have been putting in some extra hours evenings and weekends to ensure we would meet this deadline. A week before the deadline, we submitted a draft to two people for their review; their approval is not technically required but it's a courtesy thing. The day the documents were due, a new project manager emailed the two people to remind them we were still waiting for feedback. One did not respond, and the other said it was on his schedule to do that evening. I IMd my colleague to alert her that the one person was saying he couldn't review it on time, which was a problem since we were committed to submitting it that day to the other group. Colleague responds by saying that as long as we make the mid-March deadline, we can submit it to the other group any time between now and then. WTFF? Just last week she was badgering me and the content people to make sure we would hit the February 15 date, and now we can just submit it when the fuck ever? I do not appreciate being put into a position where I put in a lot of extra hours to make sure something gets done on time, only to be told at the last minute that the rush wasn't necessary. 

[magicdog]

Here's a dilly of a story!

On Friday I was editing the morning show as usual.  There is a reporter/part time anchor who is notorious for not communicating with editors for her morning video segments.  She left the vaguest of directions in her script and didn't talk to anyone about how she wanted her material edited.  My editing partner went home sick and that put more pressure on me to get the job done (I was given a substitute but he's not familiar with the pace the job typically demands and needed guidance from me the entire time).  I'd been trying to contact the reporter  - especially since we were getting closer and closer to air time.  I finally went into the studio during commercial and asked her what she wanted for her segment.  I'll admit I was "in the zone"  and I'm under the gun to get everything right for air, but I assure you not once was I nasty about it.  Just firm and direct.  She tells me she'll just edit the segment herself.  I said, "Fine" (but not in a snotty tone), and turned to return to my edit bay.  Then as I'm leaving I can hear her say to everyone in the studio, "Ugggh!  What an attitude!!".  Mind you this is in front of her co-anchor, the weather reporter, the traffic reporter, the floor manager and intern running the teleprompter.

I was livid!!  

I couldn't help myself.  I spun right around and told her that it wasn't an attitude it was me trying to do my job.  I went back to my bay to finish without incident but I was still steamed.  Talk about unprofessional!!  How is it that even all these years, people act like it's still the 8th grade and treat people like they were the unpopular kids?

If she had told me in the beginning that she would edit the segment itself, this entire incident would have been avoided entirely!  

Naturally I want an apology but I don't expect to get one.  I've never treated her or any of my co-workers badly.  I've always spoken with them, joked with them, made small talk with them, and treated them IMO, like the professionals we're supposed to be, and I thought had been.  I'm not saying we don't have bad days but this in my opinion is something that was over the line.

Any thoughts on what I should do when Monday comes around? 

[Petunia13]

I would just pretend it didn't happen and blow past it. 

[auntlada]

Yeah, I'd probably pretend it didn't happen, but she'd be on my list from now on. I'm not sure exactly what happens when you're on my list, but it's not good.

[Petunia13]

Don't give the situation or her any power by acknowledging it. But don't be over the top friendly or insincere either. Some people can be very uptight or easily offended when people are cut and dry or too direct so maybe just say something offhand unrelated like "Mondays huh?" or "weekends go by too quick!" Then just straight launching into the request for her edits. Sometimes I try the "heYYY" or "heLLLoo" in a funny voice like singsongy. That actually throws people off since they can't read a tone or mood. It works. 

[BookWoman56]

I would be professional, that is, civil without being either friendly or antagonistic, but I'd also try to establish some parameters. If her directions are not clear, communicate with her via whatever channel you normally use (email, IM, cell, F2F) and emphasize that you need clear instructions for editing by a specific time, or else her segment will not get edited unless she does it herself. If she hasn't responded by 30 minutes until the deadline, then send a follow-up message that she needs to provide clear editing instructions within the next 30 minutes; otherwise she will have to edit the segment herself or it will air unedited.  I would also say, if this kind of thing persists, you need to make your communication to her via a more formal channel such as email, and copy her manager the next time she has not provided good editing instructions.  I assume part of her job is to provide clear instructions for what she wants done, and if she is consistently not doing that, and causing drama/tension because you have to chase her down for the needed information, then somebody higher up in the corporate food chain needs to know it. 

[Hero]

I finally got a job! It's only part time, but  it pays well. 

[magicdog]

5 hours ago, Hero said:

I finally got a job! It's only part time, but  it pays well. 

Congrats Hero!  What kind of work is it?

[Hero]

5 hours ago, magicdog said:

Congrats Hero!  What kind of work is it?

Thank you! It's administrative work. 

[Hero]

I'm happy that I've finally got a job, but I wish the hours were more. I'm trying to save up to buy a car, but I feel like at this point, it's going to take forever.

I'm taking over someone else's position because they are leaving the company. But, the other administrative worker wants the hours of the person that is leaving. She obviously gets it because she has been there longer. In return, I get her hours, which are shorter and less frequent. 

It kind of sucks, because I really wanted the longer hours. It would help so much with the saving up. 

[Mindthinkr]

@Hero Out perform her and maybe your hours will increase. Be indispensable and get some job security. Good luck with the new job and getting a car. 

[emma675]

I had a second interview today with a company for a communications manager job. It was a writing exercise and I had only two hours to draft an entire communications plan, timeline and sample communications for a new product launch. TWO FREAKING HOURS. I'm used to having days or weeks to plan out something that large. I did my best but I know I left out things or forgot things I would normally include. Hopefully there will be a third interview, but I'm not keeping my hopes up.

I had three interviews this week with three different companies and I have another new one next week. Surely, one out of the four will want me, lol!

[theredhead77]

That sounds like an exercise to see you thought process rather than an exercise to look for excellence. Don't forget your follow-up email / snail mail letter.

[DeLurker]

@hero - take an active interest in what the company does and who does what in the company.  And find out who the biggest producers* are in the office and make sure that any of their calls or projects you handle are done well.  Express an interest in finding out more about that particular area/function (or any function that interests you). 

*this might sound like sucking up, but the big producers generally carry a lot of weight across the board and the unspoken rule in a lot of companies is their assignments get priority.  The new hire doesn't always know that (because it is an unspoken rule and probably problematic in the HR world if it is blatantly stated), so does stuff on a first come, first serve basis and that can blow up in their face. 

If a department is working up against a hard timeline and you have capacity, see if it would be ok to offer to help in anyway you can.  Be careful about doing this too regularly without getting some recognition - it'll become expected of you so if you are not always going the extra mile, it is interpreted as you aren't pulling your weight (even though the stuff is above and beyond the call of duty).

[Guest]

So I'm wrapping up the work week on a Friday night (almost Saturday) on a day I had originally planned to take off.  But my everything at my job is a giant cluster so I can't even manage to take a one day vacation.

So I'm looking for some opinions. 

I work in a corporate environment.  They've been slowly whittling away at benefits over the years but they are still more than competitive, relatively speaking.  They get shortsighted and do cost cutting and then realize too late they've gone too far and then loosen up the pocket books, but not enough and not proactively enough, creating a workload for everybody that is not to be believed.  Because the last thing people have time to do when trying to hold things together on a shoe string is work on improvement/spending projects and training new people who are months away from being able to help. 

So here is my dilemma.  I like the people I work with, except when I briefly hate some of them.  I have been around long enough that I am really high functioning.  There is a lot of nonsense that can be cut through by knowing and being one of the people who can get things done.   I like the career I chose, when I'm not dealing with a level bedlam that I did not know could exist outside of the seventh level of hell. 

I would love to go back to my old assignment (dumb to have left it because I thought I would be bored out of my mind.  I would have been bored and I yearn to be bored now that its too late) but my boss would never go for that and I totally get why.  The environment we are in right now would collapse if a few people in key roles bailed and someone new had to start with a learning curve.

If I were anywhere near retirement age, I would retire in a second.

Changing jobs in my company isn't going to fly unless its in a direction where the workload and stress gets worse, not better.

But does it make sense to go somewhere else?  Is the grass really greener anywhere else?

I look at our suppliers and customers and they seem to be in the exact same boat which is a big part of my day to day problems.  Their companies are just like my company.  And if they aren't then they are still going to have to deal with the same issues that make my days suck.  I would really like for the economy to go in the crapper.  Yes, I said it.

I tend to think that going someplace else comes with a pretty high risk of ending up in the exact same situation but with no history that allows autonomy to set your own priorities or get something done on your say so without a bunch of analysis and justification because you are learning and aren't a known quantity.

Has anyone tried to fix being over worked in a company that was otherwise ok and had it work?  Not work?  Did you have to change the type of job you went after?

[Mindthinkr]

8 hours ago, ParadoxLost said:

But does it make sense to go somewhere else?  Is the grass really greener anywhere else?

According to Erma Bombeck the grass is only greener over the septic tank. 

I’m very sorry to heard about your long hours, stress and being dumped on (workload). I have a friend who works at IBM. She was in the same position as you. She decided to stay but it came at a cost. She’s doing the job of three people and there’s no end in site for what she’s expected to get done. For her it even means getting calls at home late at night or on weekends. She’ll have to get up, go to her computer and fix whatever (for her bosses...are they lazy or dependent?). So many companies in my state use the 34 hour week (it’s a right to work state) so they never have to pay for benefits. She is exhausted but knows of nowhere else her skills would be as desirable and she has been there long enough to get a good amount of vacation time (which she needs to decompress occasionally). Have you asked them to bring someone else in to work as your assistant; someone you could train so eventually some of the load will be off of you? Best wishes. 

[JTMacc99]

7 hours ago, ParadoxLost said:

But does it make sense to go somewhere else?  Is the grass really greener anywhere else?

Yes. If you are unhappy and can’t come up with a solution to fix it on your own, it makes sense to start over somewhere else. 

I’ve worked for 4 different corporations in my life. One was a terrible fit for me, and that was a good experience to see where I don’t fit  after previously being pretty content. But the pay was great and reset my market value for future jobs, so I got two things out of it. 

I left that job and fell ass backwards into my current job, which is insanely close to home and a perfect fit for my skill set. 

So yes, the grass is greener somewhere. Finding that spot is tricky business. You need to ask a lot of questions.

And once you’re there, take charge of what you can and cannot get done within reason right from the start. In other words, a fresh start with a new company means you aren’t burdened with responsibilities that somehow ended up in your lap and now you can’t get rid of them. 

As for your current situation and your feeling that  you can’t even take one day off, I recommend reframing where work fits into your life and where employees fit into a corporation. Employees can be replaced. Even people who are “the only one who knows what is going on” are replaceable. I built the budget platform where I work, do things that nobody has any idea have to happen. If I left, the company will still have budgets next year. I’m replaceable. My boss has about four times the number of examples of things he is THE guy who makes things work. He is replaceable. 

So once I got that idea in my head, that companies don’t NEED me but still greatly benefit from my hard work, I stopped thinking that I can’t take a day off. Fuck that. 

Also, I stopped thinking of management as “they”.  Management are people. Everyone on a corporation is a person, many with families and feelings and shit. True, just like everywhere else, some people are assholes, so there’s that. But in the end they are making decisions that they feel will be in the best interest of the company so that it keeps making money and that everyone who works there gets to keep working there next year. The most important person in management is always your immediate supervisor. That person needs to hear what you are saying about the workload. 

Black and white: “Hey, I am taking X days off in March, and I am concerned things are going to fall behind.”  Because ultimately it is his or her responsibility that everything you do gets done. You are allowed to take vacation. Period. If the workload can’t get done, the supervisor needs to  start working on a solution. 

I’ve got one working for me who took on a whole bunch of responsibilities over the years before she was assigned to me. She’s “too busy” to get anything done. I’m working on taking things away from her. That’s my job. 

[BookWoman56]

In a work setting, nobody is irreplaceable. However, some people are much harder to replace than others. My approach to work in general has always been to make it so that I was one of those who would be much harder to replace, so that I had at least some leverage in salary, flexibility, etc.  @ParadoxLost, if you are at the point where it's almost impossible to take a day off and your workload is consistently crazy, then you need to either have a discussion with your manager about the situation and/or start looking around for something that is at least a little less stressful. Is it possible for your area to get some temp workers? It's often easier to get mgmt to agree to a few months of a temp worker than to sell them on the idea of adding another FTE. Overall, though, I would recommend going elsewhere, so that you can set some parameters when you walk in the door about not being available 24/7, etc. I learned the hard way earlier in my career that if you put in extra time, go the extra mile, etc., and do so too often, mgmt begins to expect that you will do so every single week, and if you attempt to scale back to normal, they then accuse you of slacking off. 

[JTMacc99]

I agree with your points @BookWoman56, especially about resetting expectations at a new place.

I digressed as I rambled on, so I will finish my thought about being replaceable. To me that means don’t ever look at your job like they owe you loyalty and therefore you owe it back. 

What a company owes you is pay that is fair for the value you bring. Included in pay are benefits such as vacation. 

[emma675]

I had a phone interview yesterday for another new position and they left me a message this morning that they would like to set up an in person interview later this week. I left the phone interview feeling kind of meh about things, but I'm not sure if it's because I'm not excited about the position or if it's because I'm totally burnt out by interviewing. I had two interviews the week before last, four interviews last week, I'll have two interviews this week (I got a third round with one), and I've already got another one next week. I'm just so sick of interviewing! But I also don't want to overlook something just because of that. It's exhausting, I just want to land a job so I can stop interviewing. 

[theredhead77]

17 minutes ago, emma675 said:

I had a phone interview yesterday for another new position and they left me a message this morning that they would like to set up an in person interview later this week. I left the phone interview feeling kind of meh about things, but I'm not sure if it's because I'm not excited about the position or if it's because I'm totally burnt out by interviewing. I had two interviews the week before last, four interviews last week, I'll have two interviews this week (I got a third round with one), and I've already got another one next week. I'm just so sick of interviewing! But I also don't want to overlook something just because of that. It's exhausting, I just want to land a job so I can stop interviewing. 

Go to the in-person interview. If you are still meh about it, you'll be able to clearly identify if you are over interviewing or if it's something about the position.

[emma675]

I actually called them back and took myself out of the running, theredhead77. I thought about it all afternoon and while it may have been a good opportunity there were a few little things that gave me pause and reminded me of my old job <shudder>. So, I've got three open opportunities now, which is hopefully enough to land one!

Edited February 27, 2018 by emma675d

[methodwriter85]

I work at a movie theater, where I've been for the past nearly 3 years. The first two years we were there, our former GM did not do the raises that people were supposed to get. For example, I did not get my first performance evaluation until  I was 15 months in.

The new GM said they're going to rectify that and we're supposed to get mini-evaluations and those who did well are going to get raises.

Well, I got my mini-eval and it came out to 67. I'm pretty shocked, because I've never gotten anything less than a 7 on any of the components in any full evaluation I've gotten, and my evaluations when taken together have averaged out to an 86. Apparently these scores are based on the General Manager's opinions but again, I'm just in total shock.

I'm planning on talking to the senior assistant manager to see if he understands why I got scored so low. I have a sneaking suspicion that because I got what totaled to 3 raises on my last evaluation, I'm getting a bullshit score because they don't want to raise my pay until my May/June full evaluation. It doesn't even seem like this evaluation is an actual one- it seems more like it's about getting parity for people that aren't making enough.

I felt pretty pissed when I got it but I'm thinking of just talking to the SAM who knows me (the GM just doesn't) and seeing what I can do to make sure that my real evaluation is what it should be when summer starts.

Edited March 1, 2018 by methodwriter85

[theredhead77]

My stupid fucking vLookup isn't working. I run the same thing every month on the same data in the same format. I don't know what I'm doing wrong and I'm about to say fuck today and go home.

Now NONE of my Excel formulas are working. They used to work but now they don't. I redid them. They work in the cell I entered them in but none of the subsequent cells. Grrrr.

Edited March 1, 2018 by theredhead77

[emma675]

I hate Excel, I am so bad at it.

[theredhead77]

I fixed it. For some reason formula auto-update is optional and was turned off.

[Mindthinkr]

1 minute ago, theredhead77 said:

I fixed it. For some reason formula auto-update is optional and was turned off.

Good for you. I wouldn’t have a clue about how to handle these kinds of problems but I’m very good at solving other kinds of problems. It sounded frustrating for you and now perhaps you can breathe more easily. 

[theredhead77]

Just now, Mindthinkr said:

Good for you. I wouldn’t have a clue about how to handle these kinds of problems but I’m very good at solving other kinds of problems. It sounded frustrating for you and now perhaps you can breathe more easily. 

I Googled. 

I'm still having a crappy day and want to go home. It's one of those days where people are irritating me by existing in my circle.

Edited March 1, 2018 by theredhead77

[emma675]

I had a third and final interview today for the one job (out of three I'm currently interviewing for) I really want. I was supposed to be with 4 people I hadn't yet interviewed with yet, so I felt totally comfortable wearing a suit and shirt I had worn during the first interview. Just my luck, one of the women from my first interview had some free time and joined in on the interview about halfway through. I'm a little mortified; the suit on its own is just a typical navy one but the shirt has very distinct pearl details. She probably thinks I have one interview outfit I just wear over and over. Oy.

[SuprSuprElevated]

6 minutes ago, emma675 said:

I had a third and final interview today for the one job (out of three I'm currently interviewing for) I really want. I was supposed to be with 4 people I hadn't yet interviewed with yet, so I felt totally comfortable wearing a suit and shirt I had worn during the first interview. Just my luck, one of the women from my first interview had some free time and joined in on the interview about halfway through. I'm a little mortified; the suit on its own is just a typical navy one but the shirt has very distinct pearl details. She probably thinks I have one interview outfit I just wear over and over. Oy.

I prefer to flip the script, and assume that she recognizes when someone has the sense to dress appropriately for an interview, and oh by the way, may not be independently wealthy thereby being a good, hungry candidate for the opening.

See what I did there?  

[bilgistic]

Most people don't notice what other people are wearing unless it's something totally outrageous. We are often too worried about our own appearance to be concerned with what others are wearing. I'm sure they thought, "She's dressed appropriately," and that was the extent of it.

I saw a woman wearing what appeared to be jelly thong sandals to an interview in an office I worked in 20 years ago. I remember that because sandals are really inappropriate interview attire. That's one person in over 20 years and six jobs.

[theredhead77]

Last week a manager popped into my office to tell me I basically hurt someones feelings by asking them to 'advise on the status of blah blah request' and included the two other emails asking for the request to be completed. She said I was too harsh. I literally said "Please advise on the status of [request]' Apparently I need to put smilies in my emails. Uh, no.

I attended a leadership class with this manager a few months back and she is a terrible manager. I mentioned it to my boss and he said not to worry about it. I'm 110% certain she would never tell a man his email was too harsh.

[backformore]

I work at a very small place.  I had an issue to discuss with the boss/owner, and she said this other person, H, should be there as well. I said I needed about 30 minutes to go over some stuff.   OK - we set up a 30 minute appointment, scheduled to end just before I had another appointment.   The two of them were in a meeting that was scheduled to end at that time.  So - their meeting runs late. (not really, the two of them were just chatting)   When we started, I reminded them of my schedule, and noted that we only had about 8 minutes to go over things.   No apologies, I just had to rush through what I had wanted to talk about, get answers, (sort of), and ask for clarification of some issues.  I left feeling dissatisfied and unheard, but went on with my day with a smile on my face. 

Because - I had already decided the next meeting will be my "I quit" meeting.   I'm ready, there's  just one detail I have to work out regarding my next step, and I'm out.  

Edited March 3, 2018 by backformore

[BookWoman56]

2 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

Last week a manager popped into my office to tell me I basically hurt someones feelings by asking them to 'advise on the status of blah blah request' and included the two other emails asking for the request to be completed. She said I was too harsh. I literally said "Please advise on the status of [request]' Apparently I need to put smilies in my emails. Uh, no.

I attended a leadership class with this manager a few months back and she is a terrible manager. I mentioned it to my boss and he said not to worry about it. I'm 110% certain she would never tell a man his email was too harsh.

FFS, what are you supposed to say in your email so as not to be "harsh"? "I'm so very sorry to bother you again, but would you please tell me what the status is on this request that I have already emailed to you twice." Or perhaps, "I know you are so busy and important that you don't have time to read your emails immediately, but would you mind giving me an update on the status of XYZ request?" If I were emailing a colleague with whom I was on very friendly terms, I might soften it a little bit by saying, "I'm sure this just slipped your mind, but I really need a status update on XYZ request. Thanks." But for a strictly professional email, there was not a damn thing wrong with your email. When I am in that sort of situation, I also frequently include the original emails because they may have details about the subject.  And yes, I've often seen in the workplace that female colleagues will be told they are too harsh/demanding/critical, while the very same actions by male colleagues will be described as being assertive/  establishing expectations/providing constructive feedback.

[backformore]

4 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

Last week a manager popped into my office to tell me I basically hurt someones feelings by asking them to 'advise on the status of blah blah request' and included the two other emails asking for the request to be completed. She said I was too harsh. I literally said "Please advise on the status of [request]' Apparently I need to put smilies in my emails. Uh, no.

I attended a leadership class with this manager a few months back and she is a terrible manager. I mentioned it to my boss and he said not to worry about it. I'm 110% certain she would never tell a man his email was too harsh.

I know a lot of women have the apologetic attitude, prefacing any request with, "I know you're busy, but if it's not too much trouble, I'd really appreciate.....blah blah blah".    You asked the same way I would - concise, right to the point.  It's ridiculous for someone to have hurt feelings over that, but if they do, they need to cry quietly and don't involve anyone else.

[auntlada]

March on my work calendar has a picture of a puppy. In big letters, it says, "You're special." In smaller letters, it says, "If you need more affirmation, get a puppy. The rest of us are busy working."

[Blergh]

I've had some doozy managers in my time. One   insisted on a new procedure that not only caused a great deal of added work for all employees but also needless delays and confusion in output. Despite EVERY single prediction of what could go wrong coming true several fold, that manager insisted that the problems that had arisen had to be ALL the employees' fault and not the procedure's! No surprise that this manager ranked dead last in the organization re our mandatory surveys!

[magicdog]

We've had a bit of a shake up at the office.  The News Director got the ax (she did something that was not run by upper management first), so guess who's angling for that job now?

Right - my bitcheroo boss (current Assistant News Director) who made my life hell last summer by not only writing me up for something not my fault, but putting me on the opposite shift for nearly 3 months just to mess with me and show me who was in charge.  Now she's kissing up to everyone as she aspires to get to ND position.  She had the gall to show up out of the blue on the overnight shift after the firing was announced to ask us if we "needed anything" - as if she were our respected den mother!  Those of us who are already wise to her know she's spreading it thick to make us think she'd be a great boss.  Uh...no!  It's not as if we're in a position to nominate her or vote for her.  If we were you can guess what my vote would be.  She's even been "extra pleasant" in my presence!  She even tapped the window of my car and smiled and waved!

I half hope she does get it if only that she'll fall on her face!  There's no hiding incompetence in the ND position and her BFF was fired already for her own screw ups.    Otherwise, I hope it's a person who is not only competent, but doesn't befriend her like last ND did and calls her out on her crap!  

It's her and her mean girl group who pushed out the first competent Executive Producer we've had in ages.  This guy listened to editors and photogs concerns and actually tried to get things across to Bitcheroo.  Bitcheroo only ignored him and let her producers do as they pleased.  He couldn't stand being blocked constantly, so he finally left after about 6 months.  Why are people like her in charge of anything????

[MargeGunderson]

9 hours ago, auntlada said:

March on my work calendar has a picture of a puppy. In big letters, it says, "You're special." In smaller letters, it says, "If you need more affirmation, get a puppy. The rest of us are busy working."

Oh my god, I need that for my coworker. I want my job description updated to include “propping up fragile ego of colleague.” 

[Hero]

I'm in week 2 of my new job, and it's going okay. I've worked at this company before, same position, but it was temporary. It was only last year when I left to go take that terrible job at the call center. 

This current company asked me back and I was excited because I actually liked working there. The pay is great, but I wish the hours were more.

When I started last week I noticed a lot of change of dynamic since last year. It's crazy. There is a power struggle between my manager and two other women. These women are in their 60s and act so pathetic, it's embarrassing. 

Of course, I get caught in the middle because I am the youngest. 

I work at this company answering the phones. The position is split into two shifts, morning and afternoon. I have the afternoon shift. I am slowly taking over for another person who is leaving soon. The woman who does the morning shift does not do i anymore because our manager said she doesn't want her at the front desk anymore. The manager put her in another place in the building. She gave her no reason whatsoever. So, a volunteer is in her place right now. 

This volunteer is a little odd. My gut tells me not to trust her. 

So everything at work is all wonky. I was told my position is permanent, and after all of this shit that has happened, I hope it is.