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A Case Of The Mondays: Vent Your Work Spleen Here


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3 hours ago, DeLurker said:

@BookWoman56 - your manager sounds lonely.  Get her a goldfish to keep her company in the office. 

One of my colleagues has suggested, based on direct observation of our manager, that she is in a relationship with her former manager, who is the person she insists she must be in the office to have F2F interactions with on an ongoing basis. I neither know nor really care if they're having an affair; all I know is that she spends the vast majority of her time doing stuff for him that he should be doing himself. He has a report due? She's going to write it. He's gotten 14 emails that he needs to review and approve something? She's the one who will go into his office and tell him he needs to get it reviewed/approved that day so he won't miss a deadline.  Her behavior made some sense when he was her manager, but now she reports to someone else but she is still supposed to provide support to her previous manager. Because of a re-org, the former manager is in a different area, with many other people doing similar work. My manager's counterpart in this different area has remarked more than once that she feels my manager "coddles" her previous manager way too much.  The previous manager is a nice guy personally, but I've had to suffer through too many projects where he makes critical decisions way too late in the process, with the result that everyone is then scrambling to redo work that he should have reviewed and provided direction on a month ago. He's also prone to strolling in around 10 am, leaving at 3:30 or 4:00 pm for the gym and spending most of his day on his cell phone chatting with friends and family. I am increasingly convinced that my manager's job consists mostly of covering up for him, so that people don't realize he's not doing shit. In return, he always gave her very high performance rankings and bonuses when he was her actual manager.  With the re-org, it's going to be interesting to see how this all plays out. 

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Well HR and the Feds have teamed up to make sick days redundant for me.

 

I was horribly ill with both an ear infection (causing severe vertigo - even lying in bed was a nightmare) and a sinus infection (which made me wish there were a way to separate my head from the rest of my tortured body).

I started feeling ill on a Saturday afternoon.  By early Sunday I knew I wasn't going to be well enough to go to work the next day so I called in.  Same when Monday happened and I made a doctor's appointment.  He gave me my prescription and said I needed to take the rest of the week off (the next 3 days for a total of 5 days) and wrote me a doctor's note that I was cleared to worth the following Monday.  I tell my bosses I'll be in Monday and I'd have a note.  Then I am told by HR that because I was out for 5 whole days, I'd have to call Cigna and put in for the FMLA.  I call this 1-800 number and told to fill out some paperwork they'd send me in the mail.  What do I receive?  A doctor's note that the doctor would have to sign.  

Now, it wasn't that long ago a simple doctor's note would have been enough to return to work without a problem, but this is just stupid!  It's not like I wasn't really sick, trying to scam the system, or was absent for a significant length of time (say 1 month or more).  Why am I being bogged down with paper work for 5 days of legitimate illness??  Part of me wants to think the jerks I work under are doing this on purpose.  Heaven knows several office workers have been spreading the flu (or some sort of nasty virus) because they're afraid of calling in and just a few days of rest would slow it down.  It's not as if don't have lots of sick time accrued either as I'm rarely sick.  Why get FMLA involved?

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I think it's your HR department. I've never seen something like that in any place I've worked. People who took FMLA had babies or cancer or something that requires quite a bit of time off, much more than a week.

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To me it also sounds like your HR department. Not exactly the same thing, but for example, where I work if you want to file for short-term disability pay, you have to first have 5 days of being out on PTO. I can't imagine why missing 5 days would kick you into FMLA territory; I could possibly see it if your illness lasted more than 5 days, but in any case I wouldn't think it would be mandatory to use FMLA.  If you have sick leave accumulated,  you should be able to use it.  I'm a little surprised HR would suggest you doing so anyway, because of the extra paperwork. Many years ago an HR rep decided he didn't want to do the paperwork for me to be out on short-term disability for about 2 weeks, and told me instead to just charge the days to my sick leave (at that time, we didn't have an official cap on sick days). Of course that caused problems down the road when the annual report showing number of sick days was run, and I had to remind my manager that no, I wasn't using a much larger number of sick days than everyone else, but that instead what should have been charged to short-term disability was charged to sick days. 

Edited by BookWoman56
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Wish me luck, guys. I get to have an awkward conversation with a coworker tomorrow to follow up on an incident Friday. I have to find a professional way to remind this person that I’m leading the project even though they think they should, and that I recognize their passive aggressive fuckery for what it is, without actually saying that last part. Still trying to figure out the phrasing. This is the same coworker I have vented about in the past. I mostly like my job and coworkers but this person is driving me absolutely bonkers. The mood in the office gets so tense when this person is there; they are a black hole of need, ego and martyr syndrome. 

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2 hours ago, BookWoman56 said:

To me it also sounds like your HR department. Not exactly the same thing, but for example, where I work if you want to file for short-term disability pay, you have to first have 5 days of being out on PTO. I can't imagine why missing 5 days would kick you into FMLA territory; I could possibly see it if your illness lasted more than 5 days, but in any case I wouldn't think it would be mandatory to use FMLA.  If you have sick leave accumulated,  you should be able to use it.  I'm a little surprised HR would suggest you doing so anyway, because of the extra paperwork. Many years ago an HR rep decided he didn't want to do the paperwork for me to be out on short-term disability for about 2 weeks, and told me instead to just charge the days to my sick leave (at that time, we didn't have an official cap on sick days). Of course that caused problems down the road when the annual report showing number of sick days was run, and I had to remind my manager that no, I wasn't using a much larger number of sick days than everyone else, but that instead what should have been charged to short-term disability was charged to sick days. 

Bolded because this is exactly how it was for me when I took leave from my last job. STD (heh) kicked in on day six.

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1 hour ago, MargeGunderson said:

Wish me luck, guys. I get to have an awkward conversation with a coworker tomorrow to follow up on an incident Friday. I have to find a professional way to remind this person that I’m leading the project even though they think they should, and that I recognize their passive aggressive fuckery for what it is, without actually saying that last part. Still trying to figure out the phrasing. This is the same coworker I have vented about in the past. I mostly like my job and coworkers but this person is driving me absolutely bonkers. The mood in the office gets so tense when this person is there; they are a black hole of need, ego and martyr syndrome. 

Remind yourself -- and possibly this person -- that it's business; it's not personal. If necessary, go to the mattresses and other business advice from "The Godfather" by way of "You've Got Mail."

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12 minutes ago, auntlada said:

Remind yourself -- and possibly this person -- that it's business; it's not personal. If necessary, go to the mattresses and other business advice from "The Godfather" by way of "You've Got Mail."

I like to say there’s no emotion at work, my version of there’s no crying in baseball. That’s part of why this is so tricky to phrase. Sure I’m pissed that this person undermines me deliberately, but that’s not the point I need to make in the conversation (at least not now), and my feelings about it are mine to deal with in my non-work hours. Since this person takes everything personally I have to be careful how I put things or coworker will assume l’m “hurt” or “mad”and completely miss the point.

Ugh. At least the Patriots won. 

Edited by MargeGunderson
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14 minutes ago, MargeGunderson said:

I like to say there’s no emotion at work, my version of there’s no crying in baseball. That’s part of why this is so tricky to phrase. Sure I’m pissed that this person undermines me deliberately, but that’s not the point I need to make in the conversation (at least not now), and my feelings about it are mine to deal with in my non-work hours. Since this person takes everything personally I have to be careful how I put things or coworker will assume l’m “hurt” or “mad”and completely miss the point.

Ugh. At least the Patriots won. 

Logical statements without I or you.

The project is [project], the people working on it are [person / role, person / role, ending with you /leader]
When [underming acton] happens [result and why it's hurting the project and business]. 

End with asking them to agree to change or cease their undermining actions for the good of the project.

No "I feel when you do x, y happens".  If they want to make an assumption about your feelings that's not your problem. Be sure to document the chat too and send a follow-up email with the action they agreed to.

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10 hours ago, Sarahendipity said:

Margegunderson, have you read 'Ask a Manager'? She has really great workplace advice, and gives great scripts for conversations. 

I'm a devoted reader! I actually posted about the issue in last week's Friday Open Thread. I posted late, though, and only got a couple of responses that basically said "eh, doesn't sound that bad." (I left out some details though). I so badly want to end the conversation with my coworker with "can you do that?" 

Coworker was out of the office yesterday, so this morning It.Goes.Down. 

ETA: Well, that happened. Her response was a surprise "OK," asking if I was mad (I said no, I just wanted to be clear) and she tried to excuse it by saying she received the request "before" I pointed out that the request came in early January, which was well after I was asked to lead the project. She said ok again, stomped back to her desk, and muttered something under her breath. She's pissed, and I don't care. 

Edited by MargeGunderson
Satisfying update
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Be careful!  Sometimes these types of people decide to get "offended" and go above your head claiming you're threatening them or making them too "uncomfortable" in the workplace.  I've seen it happen.

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7 hours ago, magicdog said:

Be careful!  Sometimes these types of people decide to get "offended" and go above your head claiming you're threatening them or making them too "uncomfortable" in the workplace.  I've seen it happen.

That’s why I did it in front of a coworker (who knew she was a witness). I will also be reporting this to my manager as a FYI this was odd. It’s part of a pattern of behavior for her, which has been witnessed by my manager, who is no nonsense/no drama. I’m sure I would come out on top on this one.

And if I don’t, well I just got off a call about a new job opportunity by the person who manages the position (and who I have worked with professionally). Sounds interesting and a good fit for my skills. I might just throw my hat into the ring.

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Every so often I have a day where anything with a microchip in it hates me.  But today absolutely everything inanimate hates me.  (Except the washing machine, which got repaired yesterday.)

This morning my internet at home wasn't working.  I got as far as "network has forgotten computer's IP address" before I had to leave for work.

Got to work and had to print some extra copies of an exam that started at 9:00.  The printer promptly refused to print anything at all unless it got a new yellow toner cartridge.  And then it refused to acknowledge that my computer wanted to print anything.  Restart the printer, which then has to warm up and recalibrate for three minutes or so.  Finally starts printing and I discover that my stapler, which is really a community stapler because it lives next to the printer, is inspiredly jammed.  Meanwhile the exam proctor is emailing me every minute or so about not having the copies yet.  Finally get the copies made and stapled and delivered downstairs, and then go at the jammed stapler.  After using two different staple removers, a pencil and a fork to no avail, I turned the stapler upside down to see where exactly the hangup was...and the four jammed staples promptly fell out.  Gee, thanks. Good thing today is Friday, or I'd seriously consider not coming to work tomorrow.

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Here's the kicker from this week.  It's like pea under my pile of mattresses, still bugging me.  We get midweek an email from upper management - here's everyone who has had perfect attendance.  I am out sick more than I'd like, but I'm legit sick.  I've worked places while sick, and got much sicker, so I won't do that again.  It's simply not worth it.  Then we get that now?  Flu is running rampant, multiple deaths in town.  How tone deaf are you to send that out?  Plus, even when I've scheduled to be out, multiple upon multiple times, I have had to login and work.  While on vacation.  I've worked when sick, doctor told me (and I had note) that I should rest the remainder of the week, into the next week).  I've worked while sick in bed with laptop propped up.  Then he congratulates those who had perfect attendance.  That doesn't mean the people are productive.  Heaven knows I see them online and dicking around a LOT.  Now, I think this upper management person is sort of vindictive, otherwise I'd go in and talk with him, but he holds grudges I think.  I'm upset, but not going to be stupid about it.  I will definitely let my feelings be known, but it will be done later, plus anonymously.  I still need this shitty job for now.

It just struck me as so juvenile.  We're adults.  Treat us as such. If I think I am too sick to work, then that should be it.  One place I worked had an unlimited number of sick days.  They said you're adults, we trust you to not abuse it.  No one did.  Respect is a big motivator.

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That's really stupid of that guy, to say the very least. If you have an HR department/rep, discuss with them how inappropriate it is. People get sick and need to take time off. People have appointments for any number of other reasons. People take vacations. Any and all of that time is allowed. I'm pissed off on your behalf.

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I once worked in a small office with unlimited sick days.   Abuse was rampant.  One year, a number of us were recognized for perfect attendance.   Despite that statistic, the office average was still below the acceptable range.  For example, we needed a skeleton staff over the Christmas holidays.   The clerical staff were told it would be on a rotating basis - Mary and Susan get this year off, Debbie and Carol get next year, etc.  It only took them one year to figure out "Well, if they tell me I can't take my vacation that week, I'll just call in sick."  Then it took The Powers That Be another two years before they figured out what the staff was doing.  

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In a college course that I teach on workplace writing, for one week the students have to do a cover letter, resume, and follow-up letter. One of my cautions to students (and these are generally people already in the workplace, not 18-year-olds who just graduated from high school a few months ago), is not to include in their cover letter that they have perfect attendance. Two reasons: first, if the most compelling reason you can offer someone to hire you is that you have perfect attendance, you have some pretty weak qualifications, and second, for many hiring managers, perfect attendance is a signal that you have come in on days when you were sick, spreading your fucking germs around, risking getting other people in the office sick, and then going into martyr mode when you bitch and moan about how you were soooo sick but came in anyway.  Obviously, I phrase the reasoning a little differently to the students. 

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I think I ranted about this before - the woman who used to sit on the other side of the cube wall (that damn gum popper) would come in sick all the time because she was saving her sick days for her kids. No bitch, use your sick time if you're sick and use PTO (we could go in the red) if necessary for your kids. Don't get the rest of us sick.

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I'm not really sure how to explain the situation without writing a novel so I'll just say the Director of a department completely unrelated to mine has taken it upon himself to decide how I (the head of my department) should communicate with my customers and where in the contact chain I am for new customers in regards to my department.

I only had 3 meetings with him where I clearly stated I need to be the person who initiates contact. I think the issue was finally resolved, today, after meeting 4.

Which brings me to my second rant -
Today's meeting request clearly said 'this meeting is to discuss [issue at hand]". The meeting starts and Director said someone else, completely unrelated to this meeting isn't there yet. Uh, what? This other person needed to be engaged separately about a completely different process, why did you invite this other person? Today isn't the first time this Director has done this. If you wanted to make decisions for my department you should have applied for the role!

Edited by theredhead77
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Today was interesting.  There were several folks in our area (who actually have working brains), who were ranting about other areas - lack of accountability, seeming unwillingness to take any sort of initiative, etc.  One person had sent out procedures of how to set up or work with a new product launch.  They'd worked on an issue with someone in the call center all day, only to find out, yep, multiple people hadn't bothered to read or do anything with the instructions sent prior to the launch.  All she got was, it's not working!!!  Another item was discussed in a meeting, how to resolve, and the same basic areas made no move to get it resolved.  Not one move, and the ball is in their court.  We think our management in our area is weak, but the other areas have no guidance, no management whatsoever.  I had to go through step by step with associates in one area to get jobs ran.  I got multiple thank you emails, really above and beyond the perfunctory type.  They are so grateful for any type of guidance or assistance, it's just a damned shame.

Then someone else who deals with the Dip, mentioned, yeah they don't seem to have a grasp on how things should work, but I try to remain calm when dealing with them.  It was wonderful validation that I'm not just a crazy bitch.  Then this person said yeah, you're the only one who seems to be working extra hours, while everyone else just leaves and lets stuff drop - like oh it's quitting time, screw it, I'm outta here.  Wow.  Other people can see it, plus it was also mentioned by someone in another location.  They can see what our manager cannot.

One of our perfect attendees was out today.  No notice, nothing scheduled in advance or not per our standard (no out of office auto email, nothing on their outlook calendar, nada).  Guess they won't be getting a gold star for this month.  

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Thanks guys! It's a totally different field so I hope I like the work and the people! 

At my job I'm leaving I mentioned my assistant is rude, lazy, insubordinate, ect. It started immediately and I thought some it may have been jealousy I have a higher title and pay though I'm younger and have been with the organization less time. Also she seems a bit irrational in general (sometimes has outbursts or even may drink). However she hangs out with the one girl gossiping and whispering on the job and goofing off. This girl works in a dept tangential to ours. One day they said to me "No offense, but you don't look white." I explained well I'm not. 

During the holidays whenever I made a request about Hanukkah or Kwanza displays and merchandise they'd smirk or say a weird remark like they forgot to do it "being white girls" (um wtf?) or giggling "who cares?" I was annoyed but didn't think anything deeper. But recently, without me bringing it up, some people in other departments (meat, produce) that are black or Latino mentioned them staring at them creepily or "ewww" faces at them or making dicey comments like to one that "they all look the same" 

This crap really grosses me out. 

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So its about six hours after regular quitting time and I've been working on catching up on my email since then.

I have made it to Friday night of last week.  I have over 300 emails left from before then.

I feel like there was a gain in productivity from email, once upon a time, but that has now gone so far in the other direction that its out of control.

The whole universe doesn't need to know every detail about everything going on and not every decision needs to be by consensus.

I'm going to bed now.

Oh, and so far I have 3 1/2 whole hours without meetings tomorrow. which is up from 30 min yesterday and zero min on Monday.

Of course everything that can go wrong is going wrong, so tomorrow will fill up and I'll have to make someone move a meeting or two to make room for more meetings tomorrow. 

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13 hours ago, hoosier80 said:

I got multiple thank you emails, really above and beyond the perfunctory type.

Keep copies of them.

 

12 hours ago, Petunia13 said:

However she hangs out with the one girl gossiping and whispering on the job and goofing off. This girl works in a dept tangential to ours. One day they said to me "No offense, but you don't look white."

If their behavior is any indication of what being "white" means, it is nothing to aspire to.

I suspect these two wenches would find something to gossip about even if someone is not white - their hair, their clothes, their weight, ...they are very small people who have nothing significant to contribute to the larger society.

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16 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

I only had 3 meetings with him where I clearly stated I need to be the person who initiates contact. I think the issue was finally resolved, today, after meeting 4.

Work would be so much easier if there weren’t so many people involved.  Let’s hope your issue has been put to bed. 

I have an old friend who switched careers from electrical engineer to actuary about fifteen years ago. Actuary is much better suited for him: minimal human interaction to get in the way of getting the job done. 

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29 minutes ago, theredhead77 said:

It's a work pet peeve but people who use 'stationary' on their emails need to knock it off, especially those who use a busy background and corresponding font.

Completely agree. Stationery should be reserved for personal email (and, even then, just make it easy on me and use a white background).

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I know it's entirely out of my (and my employers') control but I REALLY hope flu season ends very soon. Tricky enough to juggle chainsaws with all hands on deck but now with so many out for the count with flu, it can by a bit hairy! And, yes, I realize that those who've been struck by the flu are suffering far worse than those of us who have to carry their workload until their return and for the sakes of their own health, wellbeing and their families, I hope they recover from it soon!

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6 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

It's a work pet peeve but people who use 'stationary' on their emails need to knock it off, especially those who use a busy background and corresponding font.

People still do that? I thought that died out 20 years ago.

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Okay, fellow job seekers, can you tell me what search engines/job sites/methods you use when searching? I use the typical LinkedIn, Indeed, etc., but I feel like I'm overlooking an avenue that might yield more results.

I just recently turned down a job (the commute was just as long as my previous role and they couldn't match my salary), am waiting to hear back from the hiring manager on another job I had a phone interview with last week, and had another phone interview this morning, but I just feel like I'm stuck in a rut with job searches. The phone interview this morning was actually going great, the job was something I could do and the HR rep was really easy to speak with, however, he was being a little weird about where the exact office location was. He actually found me on Indeed and his initial email stated the opening was in my area, although he didn't state the zip code and I was having a hard time locating corporate offices on Google Maps in my city. Turns out there was a good reason, the job is in a small town almost an hour away from my city! It would almost require relocating, lol! I think this HR rep was desperate to show he was trying to bring in applicants--my resume on Indeed clearly states my city and that I'm not interested in relocating. I almost felt bad for wasting his time but if he hadn't been so cagey about the location we could have avoided all of this.

Edited by emma675d
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3 hours ago, emma675 said:

Okay, fellow job seekers, can you tell me what search engines/job sites/methods you use when searching? I use the typical LinkedIn, Indeed, etc., but I feel like I'm overlooking an avenue that might yield more results.

I used Indeed, LinkedIn, Dice, Ladders where I uploaded my resume and spent time building out my profile.

I used Monster and CareerBuilder to look only and if anything caught my eye I'd seek it out on Indeed, LinkedIn, Dice or Ladders, then apply directly on the company website if the posting is there.
You may also want to read up on ATS (applicant tracking systems) to see how to get the computer to spit out your resume as a match.

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OK, if I'm trying to juggle chainsaws with an even more skeletal crew than usual and I've told you I don't have time to chat, don't try to sneak that in by claiming to want to help THEN doing nothing but relaunching the very same pointless topic that has zilch to do with what's going on at work.  SHEESH!

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theredhead77, thanks! I've never heard of Dice so I'll have to check that out.

I had two interviews today--one phone interview with a recruiter who's presenting me to his client for a position and one online video interview. I've actually done one of those before so it wasn't entirely new but I hate them! I look so washed out no matter what lighting I sit in and I hate that you can see yourself in the little box while you're recording your answer. It's so awkward.

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It's becoming clear that my boss and I have two different ideas about what my job is and how to accomplish my goals. He thinks I need to be in the field the majority of the time. I think I need to be in the office supporting the back-end of the business the majority of the time. The reason my former area grew like it did was the level of support that was behind the sales force, not because my boss (in the same role I'm in now) was out in the field all the time.
After every training my current boss is asking if they scheduled sales calls for me to go on. Uh, no. That's never going to happen at the volume he thinks it should. He's trying to get me to pass off the administrative things to people who have no idea what we do or how we do it. I'm training the back-up but I can't just come down here, start building trust that *I'm* the one who will make sure the sales people are taken care of and then immediately pass it off to someone they've never heard of. Yes, support is good but I really do not like the path this is starting to go down.
That's just not how things work. I tried to explain it to him (after all they moved me down here because I was half of the team that brought my former area to #1 and my new area is dead last) and I intend to keep doing what I'm doing. Business has already grown 20% over 2017.

Edited by theredhead77
clarifying people
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Wow, that’s impressive growth, @theredhead77! You haven’t even been there a full year, right? Maybe your manager should just let you do your (successful) thing.

It’s 8:45pm on Monday night and I’m waiting to start a demo for folks in my company’s Asia Pacific offices. I’m so glad I don’t have to do this very often. I get up at 5:00 so I’m a wee bit low energy at this hour!

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I have two second interviews next week, both on Tuesday. One is a little less money than I was making but a much shorter commute and one is about the same money and a similar commute. I think it will come down to the people, assuming either company wants me, of course!

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22 hours ago, MargeGunderson said:

Wow, that’s impressive growth, @theredhead77! You haven’t even been there a full year, right? Maybe your manager should just let you do your (successful) thing.

Thanks. It will be 6 months in March. If our projections are correct we're on track for 25% YoY growth from Feb 2017.
I'm not sure where this is coming from, probably pressure form the top. Me and my counterpart in a different area are the only two who function under a larger areas umbrella while supporting individual smaller areas. My counterpart also came into this roll with no experience and is struggling to get some of the adoption I am, though his numbers are much better than mine (they started higher).  He is in the field a lot but I know that's not what is driving the numbers in his area. He's capitalizing on the existing momentum.

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